I spoke on behalf of the family at H’s funeral. The plan was to go over the points raised here in sequence, mid way through it, I broke down and cried uncontrollably. Here is the original text, for the record…
My earliest, lucid memories of growing up are inextricably linked to green bowls of soup and stew, and Sunday afternoon cooking marathons. Back in those days, in the early eighties, extenuating circumstances required that the family lived in two homes in two different cities. One of the enduring images from that time is the meticulous attention to detail and the foresight to plan long term with which both homes were run with incredible efficiency.
Like the archetypical Proverbs 31 woman, I believe I speak for the family in saying that our Mother was the one who kept everything ticking behind the scenes. She was never one to shy away from a kind word here, a gift there, an open home to all and sundry and a stern word when occasion demanded it. She didn’t suffer fools gladly. Her story of doggedness, determination and achievement, goes all the way back to her early years in Ibillo where she against all odds insisted on, and obtained an education by dint of persistence. The word of God was a key component of her life from meeting Christ to meeting the one love of her life. 1st Corinthians 10:13 was a particular favourite of hers. One of her favourite non-biblical expressions was John Donne’s dictum – No Man is an Island. The depth, breadth and reach of the life she lived showed it wasn’t one she only paid lip service to; she lived by it too.
Mummy, you made it clear that we, your family were you priority and your God given Assignment. Your life mirrored the Word of God, which you read constantly. You were constantly at our father’s side, always supporting him. Nothing could separate you two, not even us your children. You had a vision for each of our lives and worked with us to build roadmaps for achieving them. For each of us you were our strongest motivation, biggest fan, and sternest critic where deserved.
Your impact on young people under the aegis of a number of organisations you worked with, most notably NIFES, was wide ranging. The recurring thing friends, acquaintances and people we come across testify to is how your influence permeates all our lives. The undying work you did remains a proof that you were not just a mother, you were a hero. Humanly speaking, we cry because the vacuum left cannot be filled by anyone but as Christians, our worldview dictates that our view of earth and life on it is temporal and fleeting.
Although you have left us early, we know without a shadow of doubt that like Paul you fought a good fight, finished the course and kept the faith. We look forward with anticipation to the crown of righteousness the Lord, the righteous judge and our LORD on the day of his appearing.