Excellent piece by John Piper on the subject of handling mid-life crises. An excerpt…. You know, God makes no mistakes. I cannot explain to you why he ordained that the first half of your life would be led in a way that looks like you wasted it. Maybe you just lived for money, and you lost your marriage, and you lost your kids. And now you’re 54 years old, and you are all alone and rich and miserable. ...
I had an eccentric- if morbid- pastime whilst growing up; fantasizing about dying; and that for as long as I can remember. This was not a simple hit-by-a-car death, but a major drawn out event complete with ambulances, flashing lights, weeping family, and heart broken friends. The object of those fantasies was to convince myself I was that important to all of them; and assuage my battered ego after being blasted to bits by my mum. I would imagine Mother crying; eyes puffed up, hair flying in the wind, scarf wrapped around her waist, totally inconsolable, attempting to throw herself into the ditch, mourning her great loss - ME. Often I would have Di in the background, bawling like a chicken deprived of her entire brood in a sweeping attack by hawks - only a slightly more dignified version of mum. ...
Inspired by a long talk with my friends O and Steve who challenge me to take life more seriously and to excel myself. The motorcade slowly inches its way through the crowded streets preceded by weaving motor cycles carrying men bought to perform stunts. Music funnelled out of half open windows, blaring horns, howling sirens and people massed in grotesque postures; sticking out of open car doors and perched atop yet more cars are the hallmark of the day. A benumbing mix of people is assembled, all dressed in matching black clothes waving black handkerchiefs and bearing a large portrait of a man, who they eulogize in song. Presently the hearse bearing the ornately carved box bearing his remains comes into view surrounded by more men dressed in black and roving cameras ostensibly placed to capture the gaiety of the celebration for posterity’s sake. ...
Ben Dulap, President of Wofford College speaking at TED2007 on the subject of a Passionate Life quotes Mahatma Gandhi Live each day as if it were your last, learn as if you were to live forever. Lifelong learning - continuously aiming to understand the rules of engagement in every sphere of life that intersects us - is the key to succeeding; it would seem. That is another life long lesson I am adding to my burgeoning list.
I find the story of Isaac, Esau and Jacob intriguing, how guile and subtlety wins over brash power. Even though Isaac gave the blessing to Jacob, I find it interesting that Isaac mentions that Esau will only be under the yoke of Jacob until he gets restless. Perhaps every situation I am in at the moment is only because I have not been restless enough to break out from the chains and limitations…….
The deep examination of life is a critical component of following Christ wholly. Gordon McDonald offers the following categories for examination. My People connections: Am I a people please-r? Do I seek to gain self esteem from peoples’ opinion of me? DO I use people rather than attempt to leave their lives in a more improved state than when I met them? Do I have unresolved resentment against certain people? Am I unduly competitive and jealous of others? My Things connection: Do I measure my self worth based on the amount of stuff I have? Does money control me? How disciplined am I with regards to purchases, especially things that may not be needful at the moment? Am I truly generous? How much of my earnings do I give to the less privileged? DO I tend to judge people by how much they own? My Thought Connection: What is the condition of my thought life? What drives my thoughts? Am I captivated by frequent immoral thoughts? What are my attitudes to pornography? Am I obsessed with being someone I am not? Am I constantly dissatisfied with where I am in my life? My Guilt Connection: Are there things in the past I am still carrying guilt over? Are there things I need to seek forgiveness over and restitute? My Career Connection: What are my work goals? Am I delivering work that is excellent? Is work controlling my life? What do I do when I need a break from work? My Memory connection: Have I granted forgiveness to people who have hurt me in the past, deeply? Am I still controlled by defeats or failures from the past that tend to prevent me from going forward today? My Habit Connection: Do I have any habits, thought patterns or attitudes that are preventing me from being fully Christ-like? Is there any habit I can’t let go of?
For Me….In the midst of potentially destabilizing change… The hot seat …..is the hot seat…. The place where you are put on the spot, and come under the most intense scrutiny possible. Here, the basis of your Faith is rigorously examined and the coherence of your worldview is systematically evaluated. It is the zone where well meaning words become dry platitudes devoid of any soothing balm, where textbook solutions fall apart, where time tested strategies cannot even begin to scratch the surface of the sickness that a hope deferred brings. ...
I listened to an old Joshua Harris message I downloaded from 2005 over the weekend. One thought caught my attention all over again…. It is easier to give direction to those who are alive than to attempt to raise the dead. Whilst he made the statement in the context of guy-girl relationships, I think it makes sense for other aspects of life. Perhaps it is better to start something and then attempt to retool it than to eternally agonize over the perfect solution.
First off.. Our PROJECT is live……. Stop over and show us some love aight! ABlackJamesBond asked a particularly intriguing question on the last post on his blog - contemplating. Would the boy you were yesterday be proud of the man you are today? I wish I had straight forward answers, a Yes or a No. But I’m finding out that the more I think about it, the more it seems the answer is both Yes and No. Yes, I’ve met and exceeded most of my targets; No because in some regards, I have done stuff the boy of yesterday, who stood with great enthusiasm on the cusp of greatness would cringe to even hear of. Deep down sometimes I argue with myself, wondering if perhaps I have even delivered on the huge potentials I know I once had. ...
It seems only like yesterday that I stood in your shoes, on the verge of turning twenty-one. My mind was a maelstrom of feelings; not all of which I could understand. On the one hand was nostalgia for all the memories of growing up and on the other trepidation. I had just left the University and I was going to miss the ‘mountain top experiences’ - the uninhibited exuberance of worshiping together on a Sunday afternoon, the wonderful friendships that had been developed over the tenure of my stay, the nights spent in raucous laughter as we talked about everything under the sun - everything. I felt some trepidation, a nagging concern at the monstrous changes that I was on the verge of undergoing. Lots of issues swirled around my mind – what final grade would I make? Where would I be deployed to serve the nation? Would I get a job? Was a Masters’ Degree the ultimate coup de grace I needed to launch myself into my chosen career? Had I learned all I needed to succeed in life? I had plans, that had me doing things I had only seen in my dreams. ...