People-&-Social

Sometime ago, not without some misgivings I must add, I moved desks at work, all part of the new re-stacking policy designed around optimising our use of space. Following the move, I went from a desk which looked on into the central corridor with my computer facing away from the door to one where my view was the bus station across the road. The view was decidedly an upgrade, what came with it though was a sense of being blinded to people milling about behind me and coming in to meet me, particularly on the occasions when I have my head phones plugged in to maximise my concentration. ...

Life - and time - have a penchant for throwing up surprises, ones which are sometimes welcome, but (perhaps more often than not?) unwelcome. Never more obvious is this than in the passage of time as measured by times, seasons and the lives of others. Somehow life in the moment, in the here and now - never seems to move at pace; only with the benefit of hindsight does the amount of time that has elapsed become obvious. ...

Over the weekend, after one of those marathon conversations with S which grew arms and legs, segueing from work related issues into past loves and twin boy names, I caught myself wondering what all this was. Whilst I have gone out of my way to declare my intentions, I have neither had a yay or a nay back; she and I continuing to subsist in this fluid space where we are more than friends but without any labels to attach. Whilst the feeling is one of a strong mutual connection, part of me does ponder the why’s of the lack of black and white commitment to date… ...

As far as first impressions go, my first ones of Vienna - shaped as they were by images seen from my window seat as my flight in from London drew to a close - were largely pleasant ones; green fields and the Danube snaking away into the distance being evocative of chilled weekends and evenings filled with coffee and cheese cake, not hard work. I suppose those who have to live and work out here must necessarily see the city differently, their perspectives being rightly more functional and less head-in-the-sand r omantic than mine. Over the course of the weekend, I would gain a more nuanced view of the city, the good significantly outweighing the bad and the ugly to such an extent that if a role worth which was worth my while came up, I wouldn’t think twice about upping sticks and moving permanently. ...

In trying to understand how I end up in places like this far too often, I suddenly realise I may have a Mosby problem. Like him, the protagonist in How I Met Your Mother, I fall too hard too soon, focus on a single individual who I think is the one to the exclusion of all other potential options only to end up disappointed time and time again. The simplest change I can implement - and the crassest from the looks of it - is to not pin my hopes on one person too early; keeping multiple options lined up such that when one opportunity fails to materialise, the cycle time between picking up with the next option is significantly reduced. This neither tastes nor sounds right but given the limited time one has left, it feels like the only choice. Sigh :(

Almost three months to the day since I first met S, these arrived at hers with a note that tried to up the ante. The facts are what they are: I really really like her, we get along very well and I’d like to be a lot more than just friends with her, potentially the future Mrs S. Her call now… #Waiting

Months ago - when it became apparent that my birthday this year would fall on a work day - I made a mental note to take the day off. The act of making that official - signing into the absence management software we use at work and requesting the day off - never happened, which was how I ended up stuck behind my desk at work on the day. That the only slot for a meeting I had been trying to set up for months opened up on the day, the Friday before, didn’t help either. ...

It feels much longer than 12 days since I was last in London, mixing it with the young, free and saved at the Hillsong Europe conference but I suppose life and adulting can do that to you, particularly when that sometimes indecipherable line between work and life is crossed. Shed loads of emails and the cumulative effect of multiple weekends away finally caught up with me both in my work and personal lives, leaving me wondering if it was all worth it after all. All told, the amount of time I have spent scouring YouTube for snippets of the songs I heard, and the satisfaction going over pictures from that weekend still brings, suggests that there is still some lingering benefit. ...

I never cease to be amazed by how flights which ostensibly last an hour end up morphing into all day affairs, which leads me to think that flying is perhaps one of the greatest swindles on earth. In my experience, by the time one arrives at the airport, goes through security and then waits to board, the better part of two hours has very easily been burned. When the inner city travel requirements are tacked on, everything very easily rolls up to between three and four hours. On this occasion, my flight due to leave at 12.05 pm ends up delayed which is how it is well past 4.00 pm by the time my train rolls into Romford where I plan on basing myself on this trip. All that leaves me is time to get myself checked into my room, find a quick bite and then start heading back to the O2 Arena for the opening night of the Hillsong Conference Europe, which is my primary reason for this trip. ...

She is wolfing down a doughnut, cup of coffee in hand when I appear, trying to find my assigned seat. I feel like I have startled her somewhat, given how quickly she begins to organise the stuff she has all over the place. The sense of having intruded on a private, unguarded moment is made worse by finding my assigned seat is across from her, in seats so tight our feet play that dance of hide and seek beneath the table until we find a system that works. ...