A Geek's Life

45: Re-Engage

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 21:10:00 +0000

Thanks to a chance episode of the Re-Enchanting podcast, The Seven Deadly Sins have been front and centre in my mind for a while now. In thinking about the past year of being forty-four, the y come to mind, particularly that of acedia. Sloth, its usual translation, doesn’t quite capture all its nuances, with its connotations of “a lack of any feeling about self or others”, “apathy” and “passivity” to name a few. It is this aspect of passivity and apathy that I feel like I need to address as a key focus area for the year of being forty-five.The last year did have momentous events ; packing up my life abroad and returning to be with family, a new job back in the UK and a slight pivot into the biofuels space from the core oil and gas stuff I had done all my work life before to name a few. Whilst that was most certainly the right decision, I do have doubts as to if it was the right time, and if it was for the right reasons. Forty-five then has to be the year of re-engaging, of re-igniting the passions that drove my life in the past. Alongside those are the several key decisions which loom for me next year, the desire for which has to be that they are made for the right reasons first and foremost.

Coming Up for Air

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 11:31:00 +0000

It seems as though scarcely a blink has passed, yet somehow it is the end of March, a quarter of the year having sped past. Winter, a not particularly difficult one as I recall, has been and gone. Incessant rain interspersed with sunshine, longer days and the first sight of flowers blossoming all point to spring on the horizon, and how have I needed that! There is also the small matter of a milestone of sorts - four months in the new gig. A semblance of routine has taken root: Monday night flights to the continent, three days of hard work, and a late return to London on Thursday nights, followed by some work from home on Fridays.

Beginning Again

Sat, 10 Feb 2024 11:34:00 +0000

Turning forty four sometime last year (where did the time go) seems to have been a trigger for thoughts about legacy rising to the fore in my mind, the end result of which was packing up my bags and swapping the sand dunes for Surrey. The decision being made, it still took the better part of six months to execute; lining up something this side of the dunes, rolling up the detritus of 1200 days of life and navigating notice periods amongst other things. Tnere was a lot of hand wringing, offer/counter offer and a little bit of emotional blackmail (of the good sort) but in the end what had to be done had to be done and I was on a flight heading bacck to good old Blighty.

44: Legacy

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 12:28:00 +0000

The year of being 43 was meant to be the Year of Disciplined Execution, drawing from the Sean Covey book, namely : focus on the wildly important, act on the lead measures, keep a compelling scorecard and create a cadence of accountability. Looking back it is fair to say delivery on this was middling at best, with both high and low lights, summarised below:

Highlights

Daily Bible App story helped me maintain a semblance of devotional life
Highest ever plant performance ranking at work in several categories, increased recognition at the plant of my M&C skills with several key solutions delivered
Good earnings supplemented by decent performance in the stock markets
Greater clarity around the next type of role for me: stay in Upstream M&C Corrosion Management, not necessarily projects etc
Offered roles at bp and Shell after rigorous interviews, great boost to the morale that I can still mix it with the good guys
Bonding with L, despite the distance and intermittent visits from me

Lowlights

Weight stayed high, didn’t manage to bring it down to the low 90s as anticipated
Health was middling, a number of developing issues to keep a eye on as I transition into my late forties
Beginning to feel like I am in a rut at my current job
Didn’t blog/ write as much as I would have wanted

44: Legacy

For the next run around the sun, the word which has bubbled to the fore of my mind is Legacy. It is one which has guided the core of my activities and decisions over the past few years albeit without being explicitly expressed. In a sense, it is a continuation of the Year of Disciplined Execution, as Legacy and its underpinnings should drive the definition of what is wildly important which is then executed in a disciplined manner. Legacy is also inextricably linked to the three interaction clusters of my life plan, personal, professional and public. Of particular importance for me in this context then is being healthy in every dimension of my life whilst adding value in each of those three clusters.

Three Fridays of Summer

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 21:04:00 +0000

Never one to miss the opportunity proffered by a long weekend, I drag myself and my back pack in the wee hours of the morning of the 27th to the airport to catch two flights - first to Dubai and then to London. The third trip of the sort this year, it is my ongoing attempt to manage this year of distributed domestication, one in which S and L having returned to London for good I am left shuttling back and forth every few months. Unlike the last time, I do not run into anyone I know, for which I am thankful for the company of Ike Anya’s Small by Small. Beautifully short and deeply evocative of my own memories of growing up, I find myself going down mental rabbit holes, fleshing out the (typically) well written prose with my own experiences. Not being of a medical persuasion myself - engineering saved me from all that - the extensive overlap with friends and family does leave me with enough knowledge to appreciate his specific travails. with the memories of growing up on a university campus it drew in.

Prodigal Benefits and a Reflection on Spring Cleaning...

Sun, 16 Apr 2023 09:47:58 +0000

Cake with I, somewhere on a humid Lagos afternoon

Being a prodigal abroad, in a relatively small, close knit expat community has its perks, not least if you are Nigerian. Truth be told, more often than not, there is a risk of private spaces being invaded, but when they come through, they come through spectacularly. The most recent example of this was Easter Sunday, on which after dragging myself home from work my late evening reverie was interrupted by persistent knocking. At the door was M, the matronly mother figure from three streets over, with a bowl of piping hot egusi soup, some swallow and a tub of fried rice in tow. Whatever misgivings simmered beneath the surface at the intrusion vanished very quickly, wafting away as though borne by the steam still rising from the bowls of food.

Sod's law

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 10:02:00 +0000

I may have waxed lyrical about taxis too soon, and in so doing vexed the taxi demi-gods, which is the only explanation of how on the one day I needed a taxi badly, I ended up with a guy who barely spoke English and whose understanding of Google Maps was minimal at best. Well, that or [Sod’s Law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sod's_law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sod's_law). The fault lay, at least partly, with me. It had been my first full day back at work since the beginning of Ramadan and my hunger addled brain failed to register the fact that the bus which would ferry me back from the middle of nowhere which was my work station for that day would arrive 30 minutes earlier than usual. On the phone to the taxi dispatcher, he explained that the earliest he could get someone out to me was an hour and thirty minutes, which seeing as I had no choice I accepted. Although he had my location, he somehow ended up at a site thirty minutes away. There was much hand wringing, and plenty more oohs and ahhs when he finally turned up, a full two hours later than had first been envisaged. I could only sit and fester for the whole of the 45 minute back to semi-civility and the comfort of my couch. Truth me told, umbrage is a luxury only those who have choices can take. I still hold the view that taxi rides are underated delights, the one caveat though is that there isn’t an insurmountable language barrier.

Spring Notes

Sat, 01 Apr 2023 15:54:00 +0000

As though in the blink of an eye, winter out here has somehow slipped away, the halcyon days of pleasant twenty-five degree mid-day weather and leisurely late evening walks replaced by mid day temperatures in the low thirties. Whilst not truly hot enough to be unpleasant yet, the days leave one with a sense of borrowed time, a fleeting, finite block of time to be enjoyed before harsh reality hits. To make the most of it, and prepare myself for the long slog ahead, I pack the lightest bag I have and catch a flight back to London. Heathrow seems the same way it has always been - functional, frenetic, and increasingly arranged around minimising human contact. Trying to get cash from the ATMs for my taxi raises the spectre of having to pay a withdrawal fee for my UK debit card. A rude shock, and a first for me, if my memory serves me right. A mix-up with the telephone number they have on file for me means we spend the better part of twenty minutes trying to find each other, the blasts of cold, wet air a reminder of the stark difference between here and there. Several phone calls to the taxi company later, he gets my correct number and we find ourselves for the twenty minute ride home via the M25.

The Year in Reading -2022

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 12:58:41 +0000

It’s that time of the year again where I reflect on my reading over the course of the year. For a more wide-ranging review of the year in books, check out the coverage at The Millions here . My previous attempts are linked here.

As has been the goal for most of the past few years, at or around two books a month for a total of twenty-four books for the year was the reading target. Unlike previous years, I was open on the subjects, more open than usual to wending my way through the year in books depending on what piqued my fancy at any given time. I’d like to think that shows in the range of subjects and authors covered by my reading this year.

Prayer

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 03:05:40 +0000

For the Sunday Muse prompt #235:

Breath by breath, bead by bead,
the prayers of this parched heart rise.
Lips quivering with the yearning of a
thirsty heart, pursed to take the blood
and flesh, blessed, transubstantiated.
Kneaded by hands washed seven times-
stripped of yeast and the things that beguile-
we come to take the bread in hope
to shed our turpitude, arise anew.
In the ritual of rest and reset,
we speak our words into the world,
lingering in the liminal space
between asking and accepting

Kneeling in the Light

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 02:52:21 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #234. Image source: Rosie Ann Prosser.:

Still, in the silent solitude of repose,
I survey the face that peers back at me.
Three candles flickering in the dark,
a space suffused by a mellow, yellow light
pushing back against the dark.

The ghosts of grief, railing against delight
fight the light, their dissonant sounds
a constant clang. But in light, there is delight
to know this is to rest, here.

43. Disciplined Execution

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 06:04:02 +0000

The Year of Being 42 went reasonably well, all things considered. I survived another swing around the sun out in the corner of the world I am now, with a sense of acceptance beginning to predominate. There are still days on which I ask myself why / how I ended up here but whatever misgivings I have tend to recede at month end. In this regard Re:Think, which was the theme for last year was useful, aided by the status game lens, picked up from reading the book of the same name by Will Storr. His argument, that we are all (created, evolved?) to play social status games has been useful for clarifying things both in a work and relational context. I now know that my primary game is one of success. I used to think that I was driven by the inner prestige bestowed by being a purveyor of niche, technical subjects in the workspace. The reality , as I am finding, is that the raw numbers at the end of the month are intensely motivating, not least if the costs of diapers, baby milk and toys are anything to go by. I am definitely not a player in the (physical) dominance or (spiritual/ moral) virtue status game. A highlight of the year has got to be having L & S out with me for the greater part of eight months or so. For all the late nights, befuddlement at my inability to contextually interpret tears and the feeling of being run into the ground, the appreciation of just how much effort goes into child care is one that I will go away with. Rethinking is not done by any means though, rather it feels like it will be a recurring decimal in my life for a long time yet.

Under the Surrey Sun

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 10:32:14 +0000

Time as a trickster of sorts is a theme I find myself coming back to again and again, the key motif being how in the moment life and time can seem like drudgery, but when viewed from the vantage point of hindsight it can seem compressed, like a video watched at 2x speed. My thoughts as I packed up my bags and began to prepare for the short hop back were very much in that vein, not helped I suspect by the long hard year I had had. Between L, her boundless energy and various work related niggles, I was running on empty for the final few weeks before I left. Awaiting me on the other side - in addition to reintegrating myself back - were a big house move, and the mother of all Nigerian parties on the other side of town. If there was any anticipation, it was hope that I would finally get to sink my teeth into a juicy burger, indulge in all the bacon and sausages I could manage, and hop along to the odd Parkrun. As it turns out, all of my fears - and none of the things I was looking forward to - materialized.As is its wont, Reality and expectation never quite matched up.

Flies, Storms and The Sense of An Ending

Tue, 31 May 2022 02:21:33 +0000

Photo by Matthieu Joannon on Unsplash

The heat hangs heavy on the head, the way a wet blanket only partially wrung dry after being pounded by feet in a washbasin hangs listlessly in a barely-there breeze. The short afternoon walks to the canteen, to grab some combination of a salad, chicken and rice is beginning to feel like a chore, not helped by the sand which has become a permanent fixture it seems. Some days G and I wonder if the haze is from fog or dust but the loud whirl of my air purifier settles it for me; dust it is - that most irritating kind that finds its way through every tiny crinkle in our armour, covering everything with a fine layer of brown. Not far away in their ubiquity are the flies which flit around everything, their persistent buzz the soundtrack to life in these baking summer months. With Ramadan behind us, it is the season of long vacations and every other day it seems someone else in the wider team disappears for a few weeks. My turn to disappear is in about a month, and for the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to kicking back, waking up at my leisure then sticking L in her stroller and grabbing brunch with real bacon. Adding a few more Parkruns to my total - with maybe one push for a new PB - would be a welcome bonus.

Summertime..

Tue, 03 May 2022 05:07:25 +0000

Photo by Il Vagabiondo on Unsplash

One day it was wet, slightly windy and the temperature was below 30 degrees C, the next it wasn’t, which is how seemingly out of the blue the semblance of winter bowed out, being replaced by summer in all its fierceness. To be brutally honest, calling ‘it’ winter would be a stretch by all accounts, but for the context of the prospect of 40+ weather over the next few months. Of more personal importance though is that it is the end of Ramadan, and the lengthened hours with little food that was my lot in the period (a quirk of the shift patterns revised for the period was that my work day started an extra hour early, and the food spots at work were all closed). As with last year, I decided it would be a fantastic time to attempt to shift some of the weight, tacking on three morning runs and reduced carbs to the month. The three kilograms which have somehow slid off into the ether suggests there was some value to all that exertion. Whether it was worth it all remains to be seen though.

4. Morning Breath

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 22:29:00 +0000

For the Day Four prompt, well, kind of. Photo by Abeer Zaki on Unsplash

it lingers on the edge
of my tongue, its heft
hanging heavy, marinating
in its moistness, each letter,
alive, each syllable
yielding to the next,
then fading like the morning mists
wisps, resplendent, gracing the
verdant green but then
losing themselves to the
rising heat. I count to three
and then exhale, each breath
a gift from earth, now returned.

1. Breathing By Degrees

Fri, 01 Apr 2022 10:15:02 +0000

A prose poem for the NaPoWriMo Day One prompt, Photo by Jared Rice on Unsplash

Sometimes a breath is not just a breath, not just the rising and the falling of the chest, the slow release of the tension of fretting and of wondering, and of wandering. Sometimes a breath is not just the lungs taking and giving, extending life. Sometimes a breath is the sound of battle, the spoils of the war for tomorrow, won moment by moment, because forever is too short and tomorrow is not promised and this moment, fleeting and vanishing is all that is for sure.

Coming Up For Air

Sun, 27 Mar 2022 02:27:35 +0000

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

It feels somewhat trite, given what is afoot in the world, to be riled up about life in my gilded prison corner of the world. The Ukraine and Russia conflict looms large of course, but for all the outpouring of support - and some might say posturing - it feels more like a cause célèbre, than anything else. As others have pointed out thousands more have lost their lives in Yemen,. The Iraq and Afghanistan wars were hardly less gruesome for ordinary civilians. Closer home, it seems like Nigeria teeters more on the edge of imploding, with power, security and the general hardship levels all running away in the wrong direction. Of course, concurrent occurrences of bad things does not make any of them less ‘bad’. One can only hope that the energies expended in mobilizing and blanketing the air waves with the plight of Ukrainians is also extended to other (blacker and browner) bodies.

Rebuild Better - Revisited

Tue, 04 Jan 2022 14:50:43 +0000

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

No sooner than the year begins does it seemingly end, the flight of time - ponderously slow in the moment - somehow seemingly fast when the view is backward, over its long arch. It truly is a trick of time. As 2020 morphed into 2021, what thoughts I had came together around Rebuilding Better, the premise being that 2020 had been a year of significant disruption - and deconstruction - with 2021 a fresh chance to begin again, to put together what was broken in a better way with twelve objectives concretely describing that for me. Now that 2021 has morphed into 2022, it feels like a good time to revisit all that, so here goes.

The Year in Reading - 2021

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 05:23:36 +0000

It’s that time of the year again where I reflect on my reading over the course of the year. My previous attempts are linked here.

\\\*

I have a litany of reasons to give for the paltry return of fourteen books completed this year, as big a drop as could be from the twenty-three I put way with consummate ease last year, chief of which was the welcome disruption L brought to our lives this year and all that came with it. The chief effect of that was a a significant number of unread books, all the free time I had in the latter part of the year being eighty minutes each day on the bus to and from work on work days. The vast majority were thus audiobooks, the experience of which I tried to improve by taking copious notes in Notion. Of the lot, a few stood out for various reasons. I plan on re-reading a few in hard copy in the near future, real life permitting. So here goes:

On the 49 from Northcote

Tue, 30 Nov 2021 18:40:00 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #188 and the 49 from Northcote to White City:

On the 49 from Northcote,
a young woman sits. She
folds her hands, hangs her feet,
and lets the world without slip by
- grey granite yielding to gleaming glass,
verdant green disappearing behind the whorls
of potted plants. Somewhere outside,
the river wends its way across the plain.
Above, in a fleeting moment a giant
clanging bird roars. Somewhere
on the corner of Shepherd’s Bush and King’s
an old man, wraps his hands around himself
as his breath draws wisps in the winter wind.
As it was in the beginning and now is
the river remains. We all like small lights
flicker, and then are gone.

On That Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Pod

Sat, 27 Nov 2021 08:17:08 +0000

Image Source: Christianity Today

Over the past four or so months, I have listened with rapt attention, waiting for the next episode drop of the Christianity Today podcast, The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill. For the uninitiated, it chronicles the story of Seattle megachurch, Mars Hill and its founder Mark Driscoll. It first came to my attention, if memory serves me right, when its host, Christianity Today’s Mike Cosper, popped in to the Holy Post podcast for a conversation with Skye Jethani. That interview, and the end of the first episode, go some way to lay out the team’s reasons for exploring this story and what lessons they hope to tease out as they go along. As expected, Mark Driscoll looms large over the series - which has one final episode to go. Alongside him, making appearances and/or being named checked are a slew of other heavyweights in the evangelical space, thanks to his involvement in two organisations like The Gospel Coalition and the Acts 29 network.

Before You Call Me By This Name

Sun, 14 Nov 2021 18:10:57 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #186:

Before you call me by this name
and shrink the sum of all my days
down to this facade, this still-life
of sepia pixels flickering like daylight
disappearing before the force of dusk;

Before you place the burdens of
history around my neck, till
it begins to break beneath the weight
of expectation, you must know
that this name is one of a myriad,
each bequeathed by the ones
who came before, a prayer
that we might see, the small lights
in our being.

500 Leagues under the Sun

Fri, 12 Nov 2021 12:15:00 +0000

Photo by Kenza Benaouda on Unsplash

Of the things that still irk me, more than a year into my Arabian Odyssey, the sheer inefficiencies which seem baked into the system stand out for particular ire. Case in point: this past week to spend ten minutes picking up a letter from my employer and then delivering it at a government office fifteen kilometres away, I had to drive 250+kilometres. To my mind, it is something that can and should dare I say, be managed via an online portal but I found to my pain that this was not the case. It is no wonder then that in the short space of over a month I have driven just shy of three thousand kilometres, mainly between my outpost in the middle of nowhere, work (twice), the big city next door (multiple times) and the occasional trip to the provincial capital for some government thing or the other twice too.

At the Centre of Things

Fri, 05 Nov 2021 14:06:00 +0000

Image Source: The Guardian

Every waking minute of the past few weeks it seems has been filled with some nursery rhyme or the other, so much so that deep in my less wakeful moments, I have caught myself humming along to some tune or another. Chief of them has to be the ten in a bed one where a particularly bossy kid shoos off the others who end up in a pile beside the bed nursing various bumps and scrapes. Sometimes it has felt like there are an infinite number of ways this can happen, although the mathematics suggest that there is only one way to do that, if that particular order is maintained. All of this is long way to say that L is very much at the centre of things with sleep, if I can go out for a run in the morning and other such mundane things very much dependent on what state she wakes up in.

42: Rethink

Sat, 30 Oct 2021 18:34:57 +0000

Rodin’s Le Penseur. Image from the US National Gallery of Art

When I set about thinking about the year of being forty, it seemed a no-brainer that it would be centred around delving deeper. The premise was that as the worst kind of failure is one of depth, actively looking to ensure I had depth in all critical aspects of my life was key as I came into my decade of being forty something. As to why I think failures of depth are the most critical, I think that both the one who fails and the one who is failed are left with the lingering after taste of what might have been. For one, the chance of a lifetime disappears before it even begins. For the other the time and energy expended/ invested ends up being for nothing. Both face the opportunity costs, lost irretrievably. For the year of being forty-one, rebuild better was the key, given COVID and how it had intervened specifically in my life with regards to a new job.

Still Water...

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 17:16:09 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #180:

We come to water to be washed and be reborn, this hand cupping the curvature of the face, the other dipped, drenched in the very fluid from which we come, the space between the fingers of that hand filled with the water, straining against the strictures of the hand.

We come to water to lose ourselves in the beauty of the simple things, to see the dirt of our days and the detritus of the night loosen, dissolving until we see ourselves pristine whole again, the way we have imagined in our dreams a lip, an eye, lingering still in the mirror of still water.

Homecoming...

Sun, 26 Sep 2021 17:16:24 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #179:

** The scent of life and of living hangs heavy on this place, Here, where the weight of memory and first things lose themselves in the labyrinth of the mind.

First step, first walk, first smile. First words - garbled beyond recognition but finding the connection between the proffered body and sustenance.

First leaving, first returning then leaving - the first steps of a lonesome journey to a far country, of seeking the wily welcome of the open world calling - siren-like - from beyond the walls that time has built.

System of Systems

Tue, 21 Sep 2021 17:41:29 +0000

In the news this week on the BBC:

Abattoirs have about a week’s supply of gas. It’s a chain: We have constantly got pigs coming out of the breeding herd that need to go in homes. Those homes need to be emptied.

Stumbled on this on the news recently which got me thinking of a couple of my interests of late - systems, resilience and [system of system approaches](https://www.incose.org/products-and-publications/sos-primer#:~:text=A%20System%20of%20Systems%20(SoS,a%20topic%20of%20increasing%20interest.) to identifying deep dependencies and potential unintended cascade failures of supply chains. What is a world in which rising gas prices potentially affect the availability of meat via several fertiliser farms having to shut down if not incredibly fragile.

Becoming...

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 19:01:53 +0000

For The Sunday Muse #178:

In the wisps of the smoke blown in a moment of recalcitrance the man he might yet be lurks. The man he now is and the one he once was yielding in the moment to the future better one. Becoming.

Leaving...

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 15:09:32 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #176:

** When in the stillness of the night, sleep slips away, slowly - my eyes heavy with the weariness of deferred respite - I remember the road from there to here, how it turns upon itself, snaking this way and then that and then disappears.

I remember that leaving is for the living - those who have learned to gift the blessing of forgiving and forgetting to the past.

Between Theorists and Empiricists

Thu, 02 Sep 2021 13:07:51 +0000

Image Source: Caleb Jones on Unsplash

It seems to me that the central distinction in Malcolm Gladwell’s latest offering - Bomber Mafia - is that between theorists and empiricists. To boil it down to a binary choice is of course an oversimplification, but it is one that helps frame the difference between Hansell and Le May, the two figures from either camp who loom large in the book. At stake here, as it turns out, were the lives of hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians who met a fiery fate in the aftermath of extensive fire bombings, topped off by the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In Hansell, we have the theorist who believed against the evidence - or bad luck - that precision bombing was the way to execute a war that limited deaths. Le May on the other hand comes across as an empiricist who allowed the evidence lead him down the paths it did, albeit with disastrous outcomes for those concerned.

Being Seen

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 16:11:50 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #175, and the shades of that garden it reminds me of:

** I am dreaming again of days gone by, of nights - heavy with the weight of solitude - lightened by the joy of discovery, a light born of tumult in an age of innocence. This is what the glow-worms in their flitting feel, each shimmer of light a whisper into the night to see and be seen.

Cautionary Tales...

Fri, 27 Aug 2021 05:47:16 +0000

Image Copyright Sky News

Hailing, as I do, from a corner of the world in which colonization has left its mark in more ways than one, I cannot help but see the stark similarities between the Afghanistan story and that of my other country. Two podcast episodes from the Rest is History podcast (a general one and one specifically focused on the First Anglo-Afghan War) provided some context to the history of the country, dotted as it has been with inter-tribal frictions and the burden of being prized as a gateway location. The similarities appear to be more than superficial: both countries have had borders drawn on the back of envelopes splitting tribes between countries, have fairly well established Islamic insurgencies and have significant deposits of natural resources. There is also the British (read East India Company / Royal Niger Company) connection too, the tip of the spear by which both regions were economically exploited.

Beauty

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 13:33:20 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #174:

The empty glass catches the fading light, its pale blandness turned in an instant into a merry band of colours wending their way around its rim.

In the still moments of yielding to the night we see, through heavy eyes that in the brilliance of the radiant light, and the shadows too there is beauty, everywhere

Self-Potrait

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 13:33:04 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt # 173: Self Portrait with Accordion, (original image by Guido Vedovato) and How To Paint A Self Portrait by Nicole Tinkham.

First form the silhouette,
press the mound of wet earth thin
till it yields, pliant, to the probing
of the finger and the thumb.

Place the eyes, in the space
between the first and the middle third,
let the ears and the eyes align:
two eyes, two ears, one mouth

Theories, Tea and (Future) 10ks

Sat, 14 Aug 2021 16:58:00 +0000

Image Source: Tara’s Multicultural Table

The difference a few degrees makes never ceases to amaze me, a small mercy I have recently found to my advantage as the morning temperatures, dipping as they have below 30 degrees for the first time since April, have allowed me go for short runs and brisk runs again. Between stress eating in South Yorkshire and not being able to rack up those 10k steps, my weight has ballooned by a cringe worthy amount. In a sudden fit of resolve, I downloaded the NHS Couch to 5k app and have now completed one week. Hopefully, that along with some portion control, gets me back headed in the right direction. Frankly though, I would settle for being able to complete a sub 24 minute 5k again, seeing as the chap who ran Parkruns for fun in the ‘Deen seems like a whole different person now.

Un(caged): A Note to Self

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 19:01:21 +0000

For the Sunday Muse prompt #172:

** When the rain comes breathe in the clarity it brings- savour the stillness you remember from the times it came before, the delights the memories of past days and gone weeks and seasons long disappeared, bring you. Cherish the muscle memory of the steps that draw you along this path to the days of innocence, because drop by drop, the sorrows of the far country are dissolving in the rain.

Faces...

Sat, 07 Aug 2021 18:36:10 +0000

It struck me the other day that even after a year out here, there are still work colleagues whose faces I have not seen without masks on. Arriving in the middle of the pandemic, masks were required in all public spaces - and rigorously enforced - with more than a few people cited for either having theirs pulled down or not wearing one as they approached the security gates and barriers that dot the landscape. Only when I then see a face without a mask does it register that I have made up the hidden contours, seeing the mask as an integral part of these faces. This brings with it a mild sense of discomfort, stemming from - I think - the fact that even though I have built relationships and friendships with these people, their uncovered faces scream unknown rather than familiar.

On God and Control

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 17:34:06 +0000

The question of God’s sovereignty has a different heft when what lies at stake is the health of one’s nears and dears as opposed to the navel gazing satisfaction of an academic exercise. Not to say that academic exercises have no point - being able to dispassionately assess a subject on its merits without the cloud of emotion and peril has its place - but when the stakes relate to matters of life and death, hope and desire sometimes trump cold hard facts. Implicit here is the assumption that God exists, that he is reasonably well depicted by the Bible and that some objective truth about his character can be deduced from that book. The orthodox Christian (Calvinist?) position is that God is Sovereign and in control, and that he " freely and unchangeably ordained whatsoever comes to pass", to quote the Westminster Confession of Faith. Tim Gombis, Professor of New Testament at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary, offers a rebuttal of that position in a four part series [ Part 1, 2, 3 & 4] from last year, one that I read in the middle of my season of rethinking. L’s arrival and the ICU trips which followed have afforded me the opportunity to re-read the arguments from the perspective of someone with skin in the game. As I understand it, the core of Dr Gombis’ argument is that there is a distinction between God’s identity as sovereign and the manifestation of that in the world today. What guarantees there are, if any therefore, relate to a final transformation of this broken world not control over the minute details of our lives. Until then pain, sorrow, chaos and the likes are part and parcel of our experience this side of the divide.

Roots

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 17:17:09 +0000

“Roots” 1943 by Frida Kahlo, for the Sunday Muse prompt 171:

** They say that fiery flames beget cold ash, the certainty of beliefs passed down petering out into the lukewarm ambivalence of doubt and questioning. These roots are the things that hold us still each tendril like a link tethering us to the ones who went before.

The Light in her Tears

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 13:17:10 +0000

For H, and The Sunday Muse prompt #170:

** She lingers like a ghost in the night, this memory of my mother, framed by a distant light: the stately stillness of her furrowed brow, the slight tilt of her chin catching the light, defiant.

The moment when the lone tear hangs - perched impossibly as though straining against the world - comes to me again and again in a vision of the night, its lingering like a thread tethering me in my seasons of incertitude.

Rethinking Faith..

Thu, 15 Jul 2021 21:09:47 +0000

by Austin Nicomedez on Unsplash

Up until a few years ago, if you asked me if I considered myself a person of faith, I am fairly certain I would have answered in the affirmative. I would have had the receipts too, of faithful observance and community that came with the particular brand I subscribed to, Pentecostalism. Sometime between then and now - and I would say it has really been in the past two years - what I believe has slowly become more fluid, the near iron-clad certitude of those days now replaced by what I can best describe as ambivalence. To riff somewhat on a marital metaphor, it feels like a marriage that has slowly unravelled, ending up in the unwanted woodlands of a divorce of sorts. For what it is worth, it has not been the worst of breakups though; I still retain membership in the church I called home, and continue to contribute to all the good work they do in the community. The songs and thoughts from those days still resonate deeply with me. On the outside therefore, it is not particularly apparent that a deep ambivalence festers. Underneath is where it has been a sea of change, the main symptom being an absence of a desire to partake in the spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible study and fasting.

World, Meet L

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 17:03:00 +0000

Photo by Marcel Fagin on Unsplash

As I write this I am looking out of my window onto the lush greenery of the park across the road in the tiny corner of South Yorkshire in which I am currently ensconced, as different from the edge of the world in which I have spent the last eleven months as it could be. For 45 degree Celsius and 90% plus humidity, I give you a bone-chilling 14 degrees Celsius with more than the odd spattering of rain; a mild Yorkshire summer by all accounts I am told.

Being Prodigal: An Origin Story

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 06:51:34 +0000

–

I trace the beginnings of my faith journey to Easter of 1992, the enduring image of the day being standing alongside forty or so other people at the front of the bare, minimally decorated Assembly Hall of the College of Education Ekiadolor. I was there because I had been dragged there by my parents; there being an Easter conference put on by the student Christian movement my parents spent a lot of their spare time supporting. Besides my irritation at being taken along — and thus losing the few days of freedom from parental supervision - responding to an altar call along with the others whilst sobbing profusely is the only thing I remember from the events of the weekend. That would not be the last time I would respond - or pray a similar prayer for that matter - but the sense of relief, joy and confidence about the future which followed that day is why I come back to that place as the definitive start of my spiritual journey. The sense of elation lasted for all of three weeks as I recall, but the sense that something happened that day is one I have never truly shaken off.

Why...

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 22:22:37 +0000

Dinty W. Moore quotes Joan Didon as saying:

I write to find out what I am thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see, and what it means.

All of which suggests a certain absence of certitude which only fades when the subject of doubt is engaged through the meandering paths and rabbit holes it leads us through and down.

This is what (I hope) this space will be for me, a place where the discordant notes of thoughts often coursing through my mind on faith, life, books and a fair few other things can be engaged, each assay like the blow of a chisel which though insignificant by itself, builds on the past and slowly carves out a thing of exquisite beauty.

Arias, Young Love and Rediscovering the Delights of Walking

Sat, 13 Mar 2021 08:44:11 +0000

Memory is an interesting thing, not least for its triggers, the mechanisms behind what we remember and what we (choose to?) forget and also for how something can simmer beneath the surface in the subconscious layer of the mind, feeding a gnawing sense of restlessness but never being comprehended. The return of the Aria Code podcast for a third season this week was one of those jolts, the exploration of Puccini’s Nessun Dorma, the kick which opened up the door to a rabbit hole of memories. A few years ago now, in a season of young-ish love infatuation, HMT in the ‘Deen became the centre of many a late night taking in opera, walking along Union Street to cars parked in side streets (for the free parking) but not much else besides. In retrospect, it was very much a period of unrequited love that went no where in the end, although my memories of the time suggest otherwise. The things one chooses to remember or forget, I guess? The one upside to all that remembering was delving into the rabbit hole that is YouTube for performances of the Aria, one of the more fascinating ones for me being the soulful rendition by Aretha Franklin at the ‘98 Grammys (which she agreed to do at short notice as Pavarotti was ill). The aria’s closing sentiment (At dawn, I will win! I will win! I will win!) is apt given our time, as the Aria Code episode so aptly demonstrates.

Spring, Shamals and the Aftermaths of Vaccination

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 18:50:00 +0000

\\\*

The memories of the days are beginning to disappear into a haze, each one a maelstrom of activity that begins with waking with a dull, lingering sense of dread and ending the same way it began, only with a sense of battle weary tiredness layered on. One day it is Sunday, and then suddenly it seems like it is Tuesday and then Thursday - brings respite - only for it all to begin again; wash-rinse-repeat. The good thing is that somehow it is the beginning of March, and each day that passes quickly brings the arrival of that symbol of the worker’s Faustian pact, a salary, another day closer. In my more sanguine moments, I remind myself that for all my bellyaching, there are far worse things to moan about in the world than work.

'Big' Man coming, and finally getting my Abu Name

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 18:01:00 +0000

The bare, Spartan space just outside my window - which I can just see if I crane my neck a little just beyond its normal range - is just that, barely noticeable. At least it was until a few days ago when swivelling in my chair, the profusion of reds and yellows it has become caught my eye. So certain was I that the flowers were new that at an opportune moment, when I could pretend it was a casual question, I asked one of the guys to confirm. It turns out that I was right, the flowers had not always been there. The coming of a certain big man in a couple of days had prompted the ground staff into sprucing up our surroundings. I am thankful for the splash of colours which will remain with us for a bit at least, but what I came away with was the sense that big men everywhere carried weight. It is a truism, as an old teacher liked to say.

Sparks, Dark sides and Musings on Sight

Fri, 29 Jan 2021 20:29:00 +0000

\\\*

The sparks have quite literally been flying, not for reasons of passion but for the more mundane fact that winter and the very low humidity have resulted in fairly significant amounts of static electricity build up on everything. More times than I care to remember over the past few weeks, I have had the sometimes unexpected displeasure of a substantial shock. I am much more careful now, taking the time to touch walls and other non-metallic objects to dissipate some of the build up. S insists that my refusal to moisturise often, and liberally, is a contributor to this - a google search seems to suggest she is right in some way. The jury is still out on that one I think, but I am leaning towards getting a humidifier, if and when I can sort out travel to the city next door.

What It means when I step into the shower with my glasses on...

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:38:00 +0000

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash. For The Poetic Asides prompt #554

Sometimes I think

that my sight is leaving me,

the common, quotidian comfort

of seeing the world that touches me

slowly slipping away, taking flight

but not yet gone; only a little less close

the next time morning rolls my way.

Maybe it is my mind forgetting

where the thin discs

of shimmering glass

that bring the light end,

and where my rods and cones

COVID Days

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 18:23:00 +0000

The other country both enthrals and frustrates me in equal measure, which I’m sure is no news to most others who like me have a foot in both worlds. The events of the past few weeks have left that tension in sharp relief for me in the form of two members of my extended family coming to terms with COVID. That they were in two very different parts of the country only served to underscore how dire the situation could be, the influence and contacts with people of authority in the medical establishments - nay death traps - they spent most of their with time in counting for very little in the overall scheme of things. They are out of the woods now, for which we are all thankful, though the bitter after taste - and light pockets - lingers. One wonders how much hope the common man still has in the event of a medical emergency back there.

On A Return to the Reassurance of Routine

Fri, 08 Jan 2021 08:24:00 +0000

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

In the early hours of the holiday season, it looked like I would spend the bulk of it virtually, the hours a blur of Zoom and WhatsApp video calls. Sometime on the 26th though, my luck changed. I woke up to the persistent sound of my door buzzer. I was half minded to not answer it, given multiple experiences with the gardening folk looking for more work. The door ringer wouldn’t leave and I needed to return to sleep so I dragged myself downstairs to the door. A pleasant surprise greeted me there; the neighbour from a street over stood there with a tub of fried rice and a bottle of wine - of the non-alcoholic kind of course. As it turns out, he remembered there was a lone Nigerian dude across the road with no family nearby and thought to extend some Christmas cheer my way. The rice and meat were wolfed down over the course of the day, saving me the hassle of wondering what to have on the day. Two more invites came my way over the next few days, resulting in my wolfing down some pounded yam and afang soup (the first time since my Eket days) and some pepper soup and snails on the other day. For all my quibbles with being a prodiga l Nigerian, and being around Nigerians, moments like these remind me that redemption lurks in there somewhere. My experiences of fellow prodigals have been overwhelmingly positive. I wonder though, if they are a self-selecting group.

The Sunday Muse: Times and Season

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 11:56:39 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #141:

Each whirl of the earth

around the Sun’s well

of power and of light

brings us back here.

Like a boat

dragged inexorably

by the rising tide to shore,

the swell of the sea

brings us peace,

to a season of reflecting,

of contemplating and of pause.

Time’s rhythm

like the faint echo

of a distant drumbeat

is welcome whisper

in our ear. Yesterday

2021: Rebuild, Better

Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:56:14 +0000

Back in May of 2020, Nassim Nicholas Taleb tweeted about the pandemic - and the disruptive forces it brought to bear on the world we knew - being a trigger for one to do a total reset and adapt. For better or for worse, we all have had to reset through 2020. When I started thinking about 2021, the sense of evolving past the reset into something new was hard to shake. As such for me, 2021 feels like a year in which I need to focus on Rebuilding, but doing it Better.

The Year in Reading 2020

Wed, 30 Dec 2020 02:20:00 +0000

Coming out here dominated my thoughts at the turn of the year, which was how it found me digging into Richard Templar’s The Rules of Work . True the overwhelming sense at the time was of anticipation but there was enough uncertainty around how well I would navigate bridging a credibility deficit that looking for help came to mind most readily. In my notes from that first reading, I detect a sense of holding back against what seemed like rules promoting blatant self promotion. With the benefit of hindsight, and a big dollop of reality to boot, my view of the book is a lot more considered. There are certainly gems in there, which is why I intend to return to the book in the new year.

The Year In A Song (or Two)

Sun, 27 Dec 2020 10:35:00 +0000

In keeping with last year, I thought I’d go through the list of songs Spotify thought I listened to the most from my 2020 playlist to try to tease out some themes and recollections behind them. Here goes:

Fighting For Us - Anthony Evans: I popped into a church end of year event in Croydon at the behest of my friend O, where Anthony Evans did this song amongst others. It turned out that he’d just lost his Mother to cancer which put his turning up at all into perspective. I came back to this song quite a few times over the course of the year.

Season's Greetings

Fri, 25 Dec 2020 07:28:00 +0000

It feels very much like my first Christmas up in the ‘Deen, what with being house bound, friends and family some distance away and there being a decided chill in the air. Now, as with then, I woke up to We Three Kings in my ears with all the rabbit holes of memories it brings with it.

The key difference this time is that the lockdown has given everyone practice of staying in touch across the distance. Fortunately or unfortunately, that means I have several family zoom calls to jump on. It is a small inconvenience I guess, given the year we have all had - the best of years and the worst of years to use that oft quoted line from Dickens.

On Lights, Language and that (c)old December Weather

Sat, 19 Dec 2020 02:18:00 +0000

Photo by Lawless Capture on Unsplash

In about as low key a manner as could be, lights - I won’t go so far as to call them Christmas lights - are slowly making their way on to trees around me. That they first turned up in front of the communal lounge and then a few houses here and there complete with inflatable Santas made me think they were put up by individuals. I am no longer so sure of that, given that some lights turned up on the tree in the middle of no man’s land in front of my house. Lights apart, you would have no inkling it was a week to Christmas - work continues apace and the only official holiday is the 3rd of January. For all the sameness that living in the bubble I live in seems to cultivate, it is these little differences that drive home the realities now and again. The positive is that I get to take the days off when I want which, all things being equal, should be soon-ish.

Coming Up For Air

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 13:45:00 +0000

Based on a photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

That doing and not doing are both habits is something that I have come to grudgingly accept over the past month, seeing as the longer I was away from here the harder dragging myself back here seemed. In my defence real life has been manic, the stultifying pressures of time-sensitive deliverables not lending themselves to the pursuit of non-essential, creative pursuits. I have myself to blame for some of that pressure, seeing as I somehow thought fitting a poem a day challenge into everything I had going on would be doable. I made it through fourteen days of that - a minor miracle at least. With some breathing space coming up towards the end of the month, my hope is to go back over the prompts, edit, write some more, and begin the process of pulling some of the pieces together into a chap book for the evaluators in January 2020.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 3

Thu, 03 Dec 2020 03:48:00 +0000

Day 3: What I didn’t have a year ago. Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

A year ago, I was in the middle of waiting to get confirmation of the offer of this job, which has led to me being out here now. Between then and now there have been dark days, thanks to the pandemic and all, but overall a year on, I’m out here, largely settled in and have the six-month milestone coming up in a month’s time. Being an expat was something on my bucket list many years ago, so finally getting to do that properly is something I am grateful for.

30 Days of Gratitude - Day 2

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 13:10:36 +0000

Day 2: A simple pleasure I am grateful for. Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash.

\\\*

Getting to attend a virtual meeting in which I had a presentation to give and it being very well received brought to mind the pleasures I have gotten in the past of being the purveyor of esoteric knowledge at times. Small but welcome pleasures.

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

Tue, 01 Dec 2020 16:40:13 +0000

Something I am looking forward to:

By the time I finally upped sticks and headed out to SA by way of Dubai, I felt fed up to my ears with the corner of Surrey in which I had spent the past three months, looking forward to the journey that lay ahead of me. Now that I have spent four months and counting without being able to go anywhere really, the attractiveness of that place shines through and through. I am grateful to be able to call that city home. For that I am grateful, and look forward to a return there at some stage.

30. Forgiveness

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 13:41:00 +0000

For Day 30 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge. Photo by Marco Ceschi on Unsplash. After Dilruba Ahmed

\\\*

And I am learning

to forgive myself,

to not let the weight

of the worries of the world

hang heavy on my head,

to accept that sometimes

the broken things

around my feet

are the world being itself,

that sometimes beauty slips out

like light through a cracked down

from the riven parts of a fragile bowl,

14. What I Remember

Sun, 15 Nov 2020 07:18:31 +0000

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash. For Day 14 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge

Her voice
is an echo
from afar,
the song one
that I remember
her singing
over me.
Sleep -
child sleep,
London bridge
is falling down,
black sheep
have no wool
for you.
The world
has snatched
her presence
but the
memories etched
in the linings
of my mind linger
and remain.

13. A Prayer For The Prodigal

Sat, 14 Nov 2020 04:31:00 +0000

Photo by Olesia Misty on Unsplash. For Day 13 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge

You have carried yourself
into a far country
untethering yourself
from the strings
of domesticity
and caring and the hold
of warm soup bubbling
over the warm embers
of Mother’s hearth.

You have dragged
your portion of our things
over the misty mountains
into a strange place where
the voice of the Matriarch
is obscured by the cooing of the birds
and the singing of the sirens.

7. This Time

Sun, 08 Nov 2020 08:39:00 +0000

Photo by Douglas Bagg on Unsplash. For Day 7 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge.

may the ones
that death took
this time
not have been
lost in vain.
may the scars
etched into our bodies,
our minds and our skins
by the daily pressure
of oppression be
a reminder of what was
but no longer is,
because this time
we pressed through
against the odds
and found light
for the future ones.

6. Dreaming

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 16:32:00 +0000

Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash. For Day 6 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge.

and so
I find myself falling,
arms flailing desperately
trying to find solid ground
clutching at the air
as though it, perchance, might
become a rock beneath my feet.
in the moment vertigo wins
the battle for my mind,
I awake with a jolt.
It has been
a dream.

5. Ruin

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 08:26:53 +0000

Dunnottar Castle. For Day 5 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge, a poem about beautiful ruins.

You come from afar
bearing the gift
of your open self
to this place
from whence they say
the honours of the land
once slipped, hid
in the hem of a buxom
lady’s dress.

What you see
are its tired walls straining
against the pressure
of the wind, clinging
with their last lives
to the cliffs that saved them
from past wars.

4. Self-care

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:35:05 +0000

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash. For Day 4 of the November Poem-A-Day Challenge.

Learn
which voices
to let escape
the guards
around your
ears. Accept
the things
which return,
their hold
unyielding.
Breathe, because
the things the
heart beats for
are the things
which leave
it raw.

3. Dreaming

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 16:48:29 +0000

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash. For Day 3 of the November Poem A Day Challenge. A poem about dreaming.

And still,
I find myself
reaching for the
solidity of certain
earth, my feet aching
for the cold comfort
of the morning sand,
breaking my free fall.
This is a fevered dream
that returns each night
in which i find that home
though close, disappears
in the dim distance.

2. Home

Tue, 03 Nov 2020 16:27:39 +0000

Photo by Lea Böhm on Unsplash. For Day 2 of the November Poem A Day Challenge. A Poem for when the unexpected triggers memories of home.

It hangs heavy

on the heart, its heft

never ever far away it seems,

always lurking, always waiting

always ready to spring to life

to the lines of a song suddenly

borne on the wind, or the whiff

of mothballs, unlocking the memory

of the gathering, and of ritual.

1. Finding Home

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 17:40:41 +0000

For the November Poem-A-Day challenge. A poem about Entering, but mainly about leaving…

On the days when I wake

to a haze hiding the lushness

of the valley below, its shadow

hanging heavy like a shroud

on limbs shrivelled by the ravages

of time, I ponder the bland bleakness

of air heavy with water, how it smothers

life, and the beauty of things.

Each day where the light yields

Fighting for the Light

Sun, 18 Oct 2020 14:01:00 +0000

There is not a lot to say this week except to say that the events in Nigeria with the #EndSARS protests have been particularly encouraging, not least because they prove that the trope about Nigerians being endlessly resilient and willing to accept broken systems is patently false. Beyond the willingness to hit the streets day in day out, the speed with which systems of support and organization have sprung up and have been deployed at scale has been a thing of fascination. Young Nigerians do have the tools, the desire and the nous to make a difference, long may it continue!

For Light

Fri, 16 Oct 2020 19:53:00 +0000

Because we really need to #EndSARS #EndSWAT and end whatever silk purse is being made out of the sow’s ear that is that organization. I make no claims whatsoever to this image.

\\\*

The shadow of a long, dire night
has lingered over us, the weight
of the might of the ones who swore
to serve, and to protect, seared into
the small of our backs by their whips
and their boots, the air heavy
with the stench of the dread
which drenches everything
in their wake.

Fall-ish

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 15:43:00 +0000

\\\*

We woke up to a grey, watery mist rolling in the other day, a state of affairs which had me wondering for a few seconds if I had somehow ended up in good old Blighty. That was before the heft of air weighed down by 26-degree heat hit me in the face as I made my way to the bus stop. By the time we rolled into work, everything was shrouded in a thick, soupy, fog with visibility all but gone. It had all boiled away by 10 am though, with things returning to the way they always were: bone dry, warm with clear skies. Fog was not something I expected to encounter out here, although the roadsigns which show a 15km/hr speed limit in fog should have been a clue.

Awe

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 16:31:55 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt # 128:

When Neil and Buzz

reached the top of the world

their feet ensconced

in the very dust

from whence they came they left in awe

at the fragility of things,

at how the pale blue dot

they left behind hung

as though by an invisible thread,

shimmering with the ethereal beauty

of the light lent it by the sun.

Butterflies fluttered

on their insides, their hearts

Of Hymns and Poetry-ing

Fri, 02 Oct 2020 21:02:26 +0000

Photo by Jeff Sheldon on Unsplash

For all my flirtation with being prodigal, I have never quite managed to untether myself from the Pentecostal faith tradition, especially the hand-clapping, foot-stomping, tongue-blasting, frenzied version that is your typical Nigerian church. There have been times I have felt right at home in a subset of it - my Eket days, and latterly, my sojourn in the ‘Deen come to mind - but for the most part, it has always felt designed for the loud and the intense, to the detriment (and inadvertent?) exclusion of those of us who live on the more introspective side of the spectrum. Not being blessed with the gift of nimble footwork, or being particularly willing to apply myself to acquire the skills involved if I’m being honest, Thanksgiving Sundays in that tradition were a veritable minefield, partaken in with the threat of being stuck behind an overly expressive dancer an ever-present danger.

Fits, Starts and a Dim View (of Humanity)

Fri, 25 Sep 2020 19:07:37 +0000

I have now been out here for just over eighty days, days which have sometimes felt like they have been punctuated by starts and stops. There were the two weeks of self-quarantining in which nothing seemed to happen, then a two day week occasioned by the Eid al-Adha holidays, and most recently a three day week for the National Day Holidays. Though somewhat an accident of timing, I have been grateful for the opportunities to break the monotony of work; up by 4 am, on a bus by 6 am, back home by 5 pm wash-rinse-repeat, and the gifts holidays sometimes bring, like a large tray of meat I got during the previous Eid holidays.

Decluttering

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 14:21:28 +0000

Photo by Lindsey LaMont on Unsplash

I finally got round to migrating my contacts to my local phone, the process of downloading them from one account to a new one the last grudging act of acceptance at being here, a signal as it were of the finality of moving. It felt great to be able to do all I use my phone for - WhatsApp, podcasts, ebooks and all - from one device. What I did not bargain for was the trip down the rabbit hole of memory that exercise would be.

What Mother Said

Wed, 16 Sep 2020 18:32:39 +0000

Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash. For Young J who stuttered (and still does now and again in moments of overexcitement)…

Don’t let this be a big thing. Don’t let the tyranny of a lost word hovering just beyond the reach of your tired tongue drag you to the edge of self-immolation.

Cherish the bitten lower lip, the lisp when the words - like a pent up flood breaching the edge of a levee - finally come.

Got 'Til its (Kinda) Gone

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 22:08:51 +0000

The less common variant of the “Where are you from” question I get comes from the unconventional way my surname is spelt. Family folklore suggests that my great-grandfather, whether in a fit of pique or an attempt to be contrarian - no one is certain which it is, took his rather mundane Yoruba name, replaced a couple of vowels with consonants, and declared himself unique. To this day when I ‘goggle’ myself, every reference is to someone I know and have met, bar a frankly confusing article that includes TB Joshua, Togo and Canada. Make of that what you will.

One

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 17:50:19 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #124:

** The King surveys his realm, from his perch high atop a dry, wizened tree.

This is what freedom is, to roam without a care and be one with the earth.

Sometimes The Third Time Is A Charm

Fri, 04 Sep 2020 17:51:03 +0000

Photo by Victor Xok on Unsplash

One of the non-perks of living at the edge of the world is that everything has to be ferried in, and even the small matter of activating a registration requires a 60km ride into the nearest town. All of these meant that having finally received a critical piece of documentation, I needed a taxi ride for the third time in a week. As it turns out, I got the same chap as I had on the past two trips, my experiences of which varied from merely irritating to downright terrible. The full story is too long to recount but involved a couple of wrong turns and ending up in a different place, which added thirty minutes to what was already a lengthy forty five minute lunchtime dash into town. That ordeal was compounded by a malfunctioning temperature scanner at the gate which required three tries before I was eventually granted access to the office.

Light

Sun, 30 Aug 2020 17:47:17 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #123:

Even in the darkness the beauty of lent light shines through, the golden petals of the sunflowers magnificent as they follow the sun. Beauty, hitherto hidden, is called out by the sharing of the light, the sum of its parts many times more brilliant than when it hides alone.

Forty-One

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 02:12:44 +0000

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

It was my birthday the other day, and in keeping with what is becoming a tradition of sorts, I spent the morning wading through a flurry of WhatsApp and text messages before a fairly lengthy video call with the niece who I almost share a birthday with. The rest of the day was spent off-grid, which has become one of the more enjoyable parts of the day. I don’t remember when the need to unplug on the day first came to the fore but I am finding that in the aftermath of all of that mental stimulation, some downtime is helpful. As I have reflected on here before, the five weeks between the 8th of July and the 15th of August tend to be emotionally draining ones. Dealing with a move - which is quite frankly a culture shock of sorts - has only added to that this year.

Prodigality

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 14:01:36 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #122:

** We have carried our bodies to a far country, the weight of the burden of the duty of sons driving us like a ship heave-hoing in a stormy gale to the place where our kin were brought before.

Each day we toil amongst the living to save the ones we hurt by leaving, the labour of our bent backs a libation poured on dry earth, to appease the spirits of the old ones. This is our penance, a prayer sung to the tune of the songs handed down.

Vices, Spices and A Question of Identity

Fri, 21 Aug 2020 22:15:12 +0000

Photo by Timothy L Brock on Unsplash

For all S’s protestations to the contrary, it is my contention that there are far worse vices than playing Football Manager. On the odd occasion, when I am caught off-guard, I’ll admit the arguments for this can be tenuous at best but I sincerely believe there is a cachet attached to being this particular brand of a connoisseur.

Home, families and when spouses and children will get moved out here are typical subjects of conversation whilst waiting for the bus, which was how I ended up having such a conversation with a fellow commuter a few days ago. Time zones and staying in touch were the twin topics of interest on the day. My two-hour difference is hardly the sort of stuff to sweat over but in his early days, he had an eight-hour time difference to manage, difficult given the need to balance that with getting enough sleep and waking up in time to be on the bus at 6.00 am. Things were a lot simpler for him now he said, thanks to his family’s move back to their home town of Plovdiv. Perhaps my eyes lit up with recognition at the name, but somehow he figured out I recognised the name. I did, of course, thanks to some obscure Football Manager save, in which I ended up taking Brentford from the English Championship to the Champions League group stage via a two-leg qualifier against Botev. Inspired by all the football kicking about of late, I thought I’d reinstall it and have a few turns. The 821 hours I have apparently spent playing the 2015 version was an awakening of sorts (refusing to upgrade is the one act of self-discipline I have allowed myself in this regard). 821 hours seems like a lot of time to spend in a make-believe world of pretending to be Klopp, Nagelsmann or whoever is the latest managerial wunderkind, but on this evidence, some real-world value is there to be had, the geography of weird and wonderful places.

Hope

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 19:16:03 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #121. After Emily Dickinson.

** Hope is the thing that shimmers in the distance the faint light flickering in the brooding stillness of the afternoon heat, the persistent promise that this thirst, this longing for restoring will be sated by rain. It is the pulse quickening with the lengthening shadows of evening and the return of familiar sights to the eyes. It is home calling the lost son to return to the dangerous duty of tending.

The Other Things That COVID brought...

Fri, 14 Aug 2020 19:08:32 +0000

Not a day seems to pass without my having a staring contest with a cat. What has been most intriguing about this is all the very different places I find them: the bus stop at 6 am, outside the main shop at 4 pm, during my evening walk at 9 pm and most recently out in the plant, in the middle of nowhere. Their languid, fearless manner suggests they are as much at home in these spaces as I am, and have probably been for quite some time. There must be a story I am oblivious of, of abandonment perhaps (the French are top of the charts for that apparently), of having outlived their usefulness as rodent control or maybe they are just being cats out and about enjoying the warmth like I am. No doubt with time I’ll get to know the reasons why, but in the interim - cats apart - I have been grateful for the brisk breezes in the morning and the cloud cover that means that the day starts and ends in the low thirties, not the high forties which cause the heat to hang like a wet blanket around one’s head.

Weight

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 17:07:52 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #120, and B who in (wo)manfully wrestling pain to a standstill reminds us to hope again…

** Remember, in the failing light of falling night, when the weight of the world feels like a thing around your neck, that we see you, proud against the night- feet planted firmly in the mushy earth, unflinching in the maelstrom. Like the North Star sometimes hidden, sometimes peering out from behind the clouds, a beacon showing home we see you and believe again.

Getting My Finger Out

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 16:13:40 +0000

Photo by Reiseuhu on Unsplash

I am finding myself drawn again to the radio and to the BBC World Service- not the physical box itself but the BBC Sounds app which my VPN allows me access - and in doing so, all sorts of memories come flooding back. Many moons ago, when I was nearer ten than thirty, the World Service was my companion on many a hot, humid day with not a lot to do. Programs such as Off The Shelf, Wright Around The World, various radio dramas and the bumper Saturday sports package which sated my Liverpool fixation in the days before colour TV (never mind satellite TV) came to my corner of the world, all came to define that era for me.

A Lift off of sorts...

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 04:25:16 +0000

Image Source: Rajab Guga on Unsplash

According to the Book of Proverbs King Solomon, who knew a thing or two about hope and despair once said - whether in despair or merely noting in a manner of fact way - that Hope deferred makes the heart sick, and for the last three months and some I feel like I have known just that; lurching — sometimes several times a day — between the delirious joy of looking forward to an adventure and the deep depths of despair. COVID-19 was the culprit, as were the not entirely unconnected issues of an oil supply glut and oil price wars leading to sub-zero oil futures pricing. That there was a clear cause-effect relationship did little to tame the perennial desire to find wider meanings in things that is our forte as Nigerians, cue warfare prayers from my near and dear ones, a la Mountain of Fire and all.

One

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 10:50:35 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #119, Artistic Photography Dreamlike Portrait Photography by Damien Casals:

** You and I are becoming one, our unspoken words a voice, mellow in its timbre, its echo light like a soft hand yet firm, kneading out the noise from the silence that we share. In that silence of being and being present, of returning and reforming, of holding out against the pressure of the world, are broken things becoming whole again, each breath a small victory won by persistence, a fresh shoot pushing its way through the things that rage has razed.

Water

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 15:19:34 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #118:

** In the chaos of water meeting water and breaking free, each splash

a hop of joy freed to twirl and twist and kick and be, a body bent

fluidly flowing like a shout of delirious joy, life echoes.

Ten Questions: An Inner Interrogation

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 02:02:05 +0000

A Poets & Writers prompt from a few months ago asked us to explore ourselves by using the ten questions guests on the TV show, Inside the Actor’s studio, are asked. A few months late here goes my response:

What is your favourite word? This would have to be ‘Quotidian’, a word I’ll admit to first hearing from Chris Abani’s 2008 TED Talk. Between the man, his work and the heft of the word, it is my favourite word, one I once made the theme of an entire blog. )
What is your least favourite word? Like, when it is used as an immensely irritating filler word.
What turns you on? Boobs and brains. I’m partial to a well-spoken, well-read damsel with a great rack, cload in something just slingy enough to highlight the cleavage a wee bit. :) I’ve clearly thought too much about this…. Like this, which I’ll have to admit is disturbingly specific.. :)
What turns you off? A nag..
What sound or noise do you love? I love the sound of rain on a tin roof, maybe a throwback to growing up in Nigeria and the freshness that a thunderstorm brings, washing dust and dirt away. A tin roof speaks of solidity and shelter I think, and the sound of hearing the rain rage outside whilst I’m safe within is one I love.
What sound or noise do you hate? Dripping water. I suppose it is a counterpoint to rain, not least because dripping water drips in that annoying way, never quite making up its mind whether to be unleashed in a torrent or to just stop. Neither hot nor cold in a manner of speaking to use a Revelations metaphor.
What is your favourite curse word? Fecking, like fucking but maybe less in your face?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Medicine, psychiatry or family medicine. How close I came I’d never know but both my sisters ended up towing that path and have quite succeeded at it I’d say.
What profession would you not like to do? Policing, politics, and the pulpit…
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Could you have made your existence a little bit clearer and helped us understand our origins? What was all that cloak-and-dagger stuff about?

Breathe

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 11:49:20 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #117:

** Breathe, in spite of beauty, in spite of the frailty of the blue orb floating free beneath your feet, stunning you.

Breathe, because of beauty because the earth hugs you like a mother tethers her unborn child fragile in its parts guiding, calling, growing feeding.

Breathe, because home centres you because wherever you are times and seasons are locked in an eternal dance

Breathe, because.

2020 Reading #2: Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

Sun, 19 Jul 2020 07:08:43 +0000

Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capparucci **

The Premise: We act out sexually when our inner child, scarred and taught to cope during childhood, is activated. Acting out is subconscious to some extent. To break the cycle, we need to step in and enforce a time out so our rational thining side can assert itself. Nine inner child types are explored: the bored, the unnoticed, the un-affirmed, the emotionally voided, the controlling, the entitled, the inferior/weak, the stressed and the sexually stimulated. Each description follows a similar format, a discussion of how this type manifests in the adult, likely triggers during childhood and how it triggers uncontrolled sexual behaviour.

2020 Reading: #1 - The Practice of The Presence of God

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 13:06:50 +0000

The Practice of The Presence of God (In Modern English) by Brother Lawrence (Author) and Marshall Davis (Translator)

A classic which dates back to the late 1600s, this is a book that regularly makes it on to lists of great devotional books. This (newish) translation is by Marshall Davis, who has form for this sort of reimagining. Between this year being my year of delving deeper and plenty of time thanks to COVID-19, I finally got round to reading this! to read has ended up on my pile for years. The central characters are a French lay brother, born Nicholas Herman but better known as Brother Lawrence, and Father Joseph de Beaufort, the vicar general to the Archbishop of Paris. A perhaps unlikely friendship given their different stations in life, we have it to thank for the letters and conversations recorded here.

The Diary: Jacqueville By The Sea

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 20:31:19 +0000

This has been sitting in my drafts for several months, so I thought I’d try to finish it off and post it here as a means to making use of the time I have on my hands.

If there is a silver lining to being a terrible sleeper it is that I usually manage to wake up in time for things, typically before my alarm rings. The blips on that record are increasingly regular - and spectacular - like this past weekend when I slept through multiple alarms. When I finally woke up (having failed to do so to the alarm on my phone and on my watch), it was ten minutes before my taxi was due, cue half-brained rushing about to splash some water on my face, brush my teeth and grab my travel bags. By the time that was done, there were already two missed calls from the taxi driver and the company on my phone. There was, I thought, a hint of irritation on the driver’s face when I finally emerged. All of that disappeared once we were on the way, and speeding, to the airport. The usual chit-chat revealed he had passed through the corner of West Africa I was headed for many years ago, and that he was Latvian, not that anyone could have guessed from his near-perfect Aberdonian accent. Scrambling for change at the airport, he waived the additional £1.20, helped me with getting my bags out of the car trunk and then promptly disappeared for the next gig. Bag drop and security took ten minutes at that time of the morning, by which time I was barely lucid and grateful for the cup of black coffee I poured myself once I was into the lounge. I was the first of my work party to arrive, which gave me some time to settle in and breathe a little, before the incessant chit-chat and mindless prattle began. It was a good thing I managed to catch my breath because the chit-chat, when it began, focused on the prospect of my leaving for greener pastures - being a traitor to the cause was the good-natured accusation thrown about. In those days before the oil price tanked, there were stirrings of growth and opportunities and I was only the latest in a long line of folk who had either left or were in the process of leaving. To cut costs, we had somehow engineered a tight connection at Charles de Gaulle, our turn around time being a grand total of ninety minutes plane to plane which left us hands full, running almost full pelt through the airport. We made it with some time to spare in the end and were delayed by a further hour for reasons unknown to us, all of which left me internally cursing the necessity of the awfully early start. We found out in the end that the delay was due to a deportation order being served on someone, cue police and immigration and all the malarkey that comes with those.

Disappearing

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 14:08:52 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #116. Image “Seeing Black & White” photography by Susie Clevenger

** Yesterday’s ghouls are slowly disappearing, fading like the night light once bright but now dappled, wisps of grey carried away in our slipstream, lingering like the dust a knight’s steed leaves in the frenzy of flight.

But the promise is a mirage, objects in a mirror are closer than they appear and though we run as though the wind bears us, yesterday’s shadow lurks in the space between the things we leave and the things that disappear

Where I Am

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 09:52:58 +0000

For the Poetic Asides prompt 530 Where You Are, Photo by Reiseuhu on Unsplash

** Here the sun hangs like a weight its heat like a curtain, dense, wrapped around itself like thick clouds keeping out the light.

Dust clouds swirl around hardy rocks, each peak a monument to defiance, to aeons of resistance, to heads held high against the ravages of earth, sand and time.

For a season this, this barren space which survives against the odds is home, reluctant as it may be

How To Taste Wine

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 17:24:50 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #115:

** Let the first sniff hit you, let the faint hint of the juice pressed and aged be like incense wafting up, a prayer to Dionysius for a blessing on this rich red liquid, chilled, swirled and sipped.

Let the low heat linger, let its essence slowly spread, warming the insides of your mouth let its heft spread like a warm embrace across your tongue. Let it rise Let it rise.

Hitting Reset: Some thoughts on adapting for a post-oil world

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 16:38:06 +0000

Photo by Jose Antonio Gallego Vázquez on Unsplash

** When I reflected on life at the turn of the year, and wondered what the year would be for me, Delve Deeper came to mind. Behind that was the understanding, inspired in part by the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Builders, that everything worth its salt is tested, and only those which had roots sunk deep would survive. I was also on the cusp of quitting my job up north with the prospect of the move of a lifetime looming. Whatever your particular take on COVID-19 is — elaborate hoax, a pretext for instituting a new world order or a symptom of a broken world — what is incontrovertible is that in its wake has come a seismic change to the world and what we know of it. For all the preening, posturing and the facade of strength the world economies have presented, 2020 has shown it all up like an edifice built on shifting sands to use a biblical metaphor. The Emperor’s new clothes, for all we can see, are anything but a covering.

Silence, For C...

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 12:15:41 +0000

For C, and the others 2020 has taken. A response to the Poetic Asides prompt, Pandemic. Photo by Marina Reich on Unsplash ** Where the patter of your footsteps once roamed silence reigns, the joy of breath and thought and sonorous song subsumed by the frailty of things.

Death lingered at your door, too long and then snatched you. In the silence that you leave we remember the things we planned tomorrow.

A Prayer for Lost Loves

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 12:36:10 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #114:

\\\* May the pains of today’s desires lose themselves in the fragrance of a love reborn, the pained passion of unrequited love find itself returned in time like a blossom that speaks, a sacred whisper to the soul colouring everything in the light of a rose, beautiful in its bleeding yet whole, because the Lover and the Loved like thorn and rose find themselves entwined, from past pain and tortured paths, delirious joy arising.

Champions!!!

Fri, 26 Jun 2020 07:00:48 +0000

At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky… False starts and disappointments notwithstanding…

Summertime, for G

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 18:19:24 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #113: \\\* The light in her eyes mirrors the mirth, in the wry smile that still, some days, wraps itself around her lips, a bird, free, born of the wild borne by the wind.

The heavy scent of summer, of flowers blooming and of squirrels flitting between the trees, reaches down into the depth of the memories she bears within, the delight of summers past simmering, then bubbling to the fore though her fingers can no longer coax life from the dry earth or press pleasure into a cone.

Ignition...

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 09:58:00 +0000

For the Sunday Muse prompt # 112: \\\* Sometimes I carry the weight of the world upon my head, its heft held between the twin peaks of forgotten and accepted things, a history curated not by those who waver at the threat of war but those who embrace its vagaries, who daily pour out a libation to destruction.

What seems like the stillness of a boat in quiet waters only hides the furious paddling of a mind being torn apart as it wrestles with the tension between conforming and desire.

Half Remembered

Thu, 11 Jun 2020 09:13:24 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #111:

\\\* what we remember of the past are the things the mind allows, the harshness of being hacked into a thousand tiny pieces assuaged by the desire to forget, to not let the horror of the past hold the present hostage, to find a path that winds through the remains of pillage to a coherent whole.

what we learn in the end is that skirting the hole where our kin should be is akin to yielding to the pressure of a hand pressed against our throat, to feed the pleasure of the ghouls hovering over our history.

Quest

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 14:12:31 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #110,

\\\* The heart ponders what lies beyond the realm of sight, what hides in the place where dreams come from, where the beauty of a still night twinkles in the soft light. From afar it tugs at the strings of the curious heart, in its distance, a promise of salvation from the fires below.

The Diary: The Joy In Small Things

Fri, 29 May 2020 12:15:27 +0000

\\\* Seemingly like in the blink of an eye – like play like play in the pidgin English of my youth – we are somehow at the end of May! Summer is finally here, bringing in its wake the realisation that if I had stayed up North, the first of my Nine Fridays of Summer would have just gone past. As it is though, I find myself in an intermission of sorts, loitering in the space between a past life and the future in which an adventure in the sun hovers just out of reach, 70 days late. There are of course worse things than swapping grey granite for verdant green or being cooped up with family, like dying or very nearly dying like so many people, including a few closer to home for me, have over the past few months of this pandemic.

When A Deed Returns

Mon, 25 May 2020 11:21:02 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #109, Image “Snow White & Rose Red” by Kerry Darlington

\\\* The kind hearts of the shy and the cheerful make space for the stranger, a traveller quivering in the winter wind, lost, for a moment.

What lies hidden in the dream is that sometimes a good deed travels the world for a season and then returns twice revived, the shy and the cheerful ones saved in return by the stranger who once wandered by.

Place

Mon, 18 May 2020 09:46:35 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #108:

\\\* Bound up in its faux pillars and its dangling chandeliers are the memories of stolen things, the tears shed here by the lost ones reverberating in our ears. Time disappears here, subsumed by the delight of truly feeling and of seeing, the art of each act a tribute to the ones who’ve come before.

On Leaving

Mon, 11 May 2020 18:24:34 +0000

Of the many conversations I have had over the past few years, one sticks out in my mind, not for its length or its importance but for how odd it felt at the time. As I recall it, a travelling salesman and I had just finished a meeting and were heading to the kitchenette at work to drop our coffee mugs off when he asked: “How did you end up here?”.

On Returning to the City of Red Earth

Mon, 04 May 2020 18:18:19 +0000

With NaPoWriMo done and dusted for this year, I’m getting the chance to catch up on other stuff. The fifth (and penultimate) assignment for the Creative Non-Fiction Course I started in February was to describe a city and the feelings it engendered in us during our last visit. Here goes:

\\\*

In my more nostalgic moments, I call her the City of Red Earth, but that is as far away as possible from what I feel as I drag my bags towards the check-in desk ahead of heading back out there. The last time, H had just passed, and the three weeks which followed were consumed by the busyness of dealing with the dead. Everyone I tell about this upcoming trip shares cautionary tales; of the power industry grinding to a halt, the spiralling crime rates, and the rapidly disintegrating roads. Not to seem too dismissive, I smile and nod at their concerns whilst inwardly telling myself I’ll do a good job of passing; after all my pidgin English – lightly accented as it is – is passable.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 30: The Thing The Birds Bring

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 10:34:40 +0000

Last day, Yay!!! The prompt for today as this season of NaPoWriMo comes to an end is to write a poem about something that returns. Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash \\\* The songs the birds bring each spring remind us of the stirring of life, darkness yielding to the lengthening light and cherry blossoms blooming again. Hope is the thing that birds bring that after death comes life, and rebirth.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 29:

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 08:48:37 +0000

Off prompt today:

\\\* After the rising and the falling of the things that surround, after the letting off of blood for forgiveness, after the release of the pressure building up, Breathe

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 28: Bedroom

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:53:48 +0000

Today’s prompt asks us to describe a bedroom from our past, inspired by Martha Dickinson Bianchi’s description of her aunt’s (Emily Dickinson) cozy room. My room in the house on 39th street came to mind. \\\* Long days longer nights rubber balls bounced off walls till smudged, comics snuck under the covers, childhood fantasies of meeting George and the other four of being Super Man and Captain America. Behind all the smell of things lived in. These are the things we can never forget.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 27: A Haiku For A Prodigal

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 13:41:24 +0000

For Day 27, the prompt is to write a poem in the form of a review of something not normally reviewed such as a mother-in-law, the moon, or the year 2020…I went for me, the prodigal in need of forgiveness :) \\\* Offends seventy times seven times but returns for forgiveness. Me

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 26: Questions

Sun, 26 Apr 2020 12:30:37 +0000

For Day 26, on which the prompt is to write a poem based on your answers to an ‘almanac questionnaire’. \\\* I reach out to the sun to quell this longing to be free to feel its warmth on my face like the trees do, stark against the blue skies. The same way the grape hyacinths, teased out by the sense of spring grow out, adding colour to the gaudy box I now call home. The childhood dream was to run free to revel in the clouds of red earth my feet stirred, but fear has me penned in. Hope lingers here. and freedom too.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 25: Worn

Sat, 25 Apr 2020 08:13:39 +0000

Off prompt today: \\\* Each night when the day begins to fade into the next I find myself slipping into the haziness of sleep. But the remains to the day fester, rising up from the innards of my mind into the reality of dreams.I reach for rest but find I am worn.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 24: In Praise of a Banana

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 16:16:51 +0000

The NaPoWriMo prompt for Day 24 is to write about a particular fruit, describing it as closely as possible. Here goes, for the delights of a banana.

\\\* Nothing delights a tired tongue on a hot summer day like a banana, the rush of sugar it gifts to the blood like salve on burnt skin. Joy hides beneath its skin and in each bite salvation.

NaPoWriMo Day 2020 - Day 23: Why

Thu, 23 Apr 2020 09:17:40 +0000

For Day 23 of NaPoWriMo 2020, the challenge is to write a poem about a particular letter of the alphabet, or perhaps, the letters that form a short word. Y(Why) comes to mind. \\\* He rests in the shadows of the night his hands like a “Y”, raised in the exasperation of not knowing. Why? Why does day follow night? Why is the quiet of first light ripped to shreds by the blinding light of the noon day sun? Why does pain persist? Is it the messenger of healing or its foe which we feel as it is driven off?

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 22: Distanced

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 11:30:01 +0000

Day Twenty-Two, for which the NaPoWriMo.net prompt is to find an idiomatic phrase from a different language or culture, and use it as the jumping-off point for your poem. Something about the Kazakh idiom Сенің арқаңда күн көріп жүрмін (I see the sun on your back) which means “Thank you for being you. I am alive because of your help” seemed particularly apt for the times in which we live. Sourced from this list on the TED Blog.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 21: Mistranslated

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 12:08:26 +0000

The Day 21 prompt is to find a poem in a language that you don’t know and perform a “homophonic translation” on it. I’ve chosen the first stanza of Mbuyiseni Oswald Mtshali’s Umalasi Nomhlambi Wakhe (The Shepherd and His Flock). Doesn’t make sense but.. *insert shrug*

\\\*

I miss being yellow with anger if Anna never sends chillies. I am callow, seasick with a broken mala. My scent attacked Ursa; I see from back here.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 20: Gratitude

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 09:24:39 +0000

Today’s theme is gratitude, with the prompt being to write a poem about a handmade or homemade gift that you have received. Whilst out on a run today I noticed an artist had painted a thank you to the NHS. Here goes:

\\\* For the things the few give the many: Life, Time, Breath. Heartfelt gratitude.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 19 - Found Things

Sun, 19 Apr 2020 13:22:18 +0000

Today’s prompt is to write a poem based on collected things which reminded me of a picture I took a few weeks ago in the middle of packing up my house ahead of a move abroad which is now on hold thanks to the CV-19 induced shutdown.

\\\* I am finding lost joy in found things, each object saved from the detritus of a past life, a reminder to remember, to imagine again past seasons of loving and of losing. Of losing oneself in the delight of being, and feeling. Each page revisited is a present from the past to the present, a tribute to the loves that once lived here.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 18: The Joy In Small Sips

Sat, 18 Apr 2020 08:46:35 +0000

For Day 18 of NaPoWriMo this year, the prompt is to write an ode to life’s small pleasures. My first cup of coffee of the day is one of those for me. Loosely inspired by what is becoming one of my favourite poems, Wendell Berry’s The Peace of Wild Things.

\\\* When the darkness of night lifts and I awake to the dreariness of existing in this place, forgetting where Yesterday ends and Today begins to slip into Tomorrow, I reach for this worn mug, its stained sides and chipped edges reassuring in their durability. At first light I lose myself to the muscle memory of returning and find joy in small sips.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 17: A Farewell for My Walkman

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 13:17:37 +0000

Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is to move backwards in time away.. to write a poem that features forgotten technology. For me, it was my first Walkman.

\\\* Farewell, Walkman protector of my ears and overcomer of my fears with soothing sounds. Farewell, Walkman the opener of my eyes to worlds unknown, translator of songs, from thin tape to all engulfing sound. You may have gone the way of all frail things but you live on in the soundtracks of my life.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 16

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 09:10:33 +0000

Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a poem of over-the-top compliments. Pick a person, place, or thing you love, and praise it in the most effusive way you can. Here goes: \\\* You smile. Your eyes dance. Morning breaks with glorious light. Forgotten, Night’s fears.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 15: Dancing In The Rain

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 09:23:15 +0000

Today’s prompt is to write a poem inspired by your favourite kind of music. Here goes, very loosely interpreted as always: \\\* Breathe in with the clash of the cymbals and then out as the drums begin. Let the patter of your feet lose themselves in the patterns of the music of the rain as they rise and fall, pausing like a runner at the crest of a seventh hill. Let the patina of red earth be washed away. Breathe in and out, and dance, Begin again.

NaPowriMo 2020 - Day 14: Nostalgia

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 10:25:29 +0000

Day 14, off prompt: \\\* Nothing hides yesterday’s sins like nostalgia. Nothing rewrites the memories of things seen like the desire to forget, the ineluctable wish to untether oneself from the burdens of grief, and the weight of things lost. For the daughter kneeling here, oblivious of the paths that we have trod we wish peace, that the things which weigh us down may cease.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 13: Stolen Things

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 12:42:10 +0000

Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt focuses on stealing, a challenge to write a non-apology for the things you’ve stolen. Here goes:

\\\* The dog-eared book with your name scratched in its tired cover, the familiarity of its worn pages like the scent of home, a welcome. The picture, battered by the sunlight until it begins to age into a sepia blur, reviving memories of a distant time. The song, your song, repeated until its notes invoke the memories of stolen times and places, Lost but not forgotten.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 12: A Triolet for Resurrection

Sun, 12 Apr 2020 14:48:07 +0000

For Day 12, the challenge is to write a triolet. Not a form I’m overly familiar with but given the Easter season and the influence of Patrick Carey on the form in English (who used it for his devotional writing), it seemed only fitting to attempt something with a faith tilt. Here goes:

\\\*

At first light, she comes to bless

the broken body but finds Light

in the space where his head should be: discarded dress.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 11: Catching Light

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 14:13:06 +0000

The prompt for NaPoWriMo Day 11 is to write a poem in which one or more flowers take on specific meanings. I went off prompt for this one though…

\\\* They say in the brightness of the right light everything is beautiful, the cuts and scrapes that things bear all birthing beauty in the intricate interplay of flickering light and flitting shadow. So catch the light shine, be beautiful.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 10: Exile

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 10:22:10 +0000

Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a hay(na)ku, a riff on the haiku created by the poet Eileen Tabios . A hay(na)ku consists of a three-line stanza, where the first line has one word, the second line has two words, and the third line has three words. My mind went to self isolation as a metaphor for exile: in both cases we have memories of happier times but are restricted in the present to what we remember, not what we can experience. Here goes:

On Being An Enneagram 5

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 20:43:06 +0000

As part of refreshing my Life Plan at the end of last year, I took the Enneagram Personality test, which suggested I am a Type 5 with a 6 Wing. The Enneagram is a personality categorising methodology of unknown (but ancient, possibly some Catholic mystic) provenance which was brought to the US by G.I. Gurdjieff and and eventually to pop culture by the likes of Richard Rohr. I owe my introduction to it to Ian Morgan Cron and his various appearances on podcasts I listen to regularly, as part of his book tour. More information is available here. With the benefit of time on my hand, I decided it would be a good time to re-read the book (The Road Back To You) and reflect on what I’ve learned about myself in the process.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 9: Perfect Day

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 08:53:58 +0000

The prompt for today is to write a ‘concrete’ poem, one whose words and space are organised to reflect the theme of the poem. I went with the theme of a prayer and a perfect day. If you squint hard enough, you’ll see the shape is reminiscent of hands folded in prayer :)

\\\*

First, awake to the sounds of birds chirping, the lilt of their spring song reminding you of rebirth. Kneel in quiet contemplation- yield to the embrace of the rising sun, let its light call out to the prayer lurking in the dark places of your tired heart. When morning morphs into the heat of high noon, cherish the beauty of the cherry blossoms pink against the skies, and when the day slowly slides into the bosom of the night, offer up a libation of red wine for deliverance from today’s troubles. Tomorrow comes tomorrow but till then revel in your perfect day.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 8

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 13:13:04 +0000

The prompt for today is to utilise a line or phrase from a twitter poetry bot as a jumping off point for a poem. I went with this from a Richard Siken poetry bot. Here goes:

\\\* We know who our enemies are - they are us. They are the memories of yesterdays bubbling up, straining against the resolve of today to begin again.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 7: Lenting

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 14:44:55 +0000

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month prompt asks us to use a news headline as a jumping off point. I chose to go with the one about the chap giving up solid food (and subsisting on beer only) for Lent this year. Enjoy:

** The body aches for absolution, for forgiveness and release from the weight around my waist, this man born by past seasons of surfeiting. So I offer this, a libation of liquid to quell the sounds of my inner monologue.

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 6: Calling My Daughter Aoife

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:50:40 +0000

Off prompt today… \\\* You have taken seven years to get here each one a memory lodged deep in the space between the hunger of anticipation and the malaise of hope deferred. Now as I hold you in my hands, and see you, frail yet strong, you are Mother returned. I call you Aoife, for you have brought beauty to our broken places

Poetry As Therapy: A Brief Listening (and Reading) List

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 10:52:18 +0000

My grand plan for Lent this year was to post a poem a day using the Church of England’s #LiveLent reflections as a jumping-off point, but life happened (we lost G and then went into a full COVID-19 related shutdown) and I ended up stuck on 17 days. Poetry as prayer seemed like a good idea given the difficult season of faith I was in, in which prayer felt alien. It is not an entirely novel idea as I found out with more than a few essays reflecting on the subject, two examples being these excellent pieces at Talking Writing and The Millions. There is a rich history of the poetic form in various religious writing and in their associated rites; some might even argue that the enduring allure of the King James Version of the Bible has more to do with the cadence of its words than anything else. Come to think of it, the Psalms sometimes read like the brain dumps of a conflicted person, like transcripts of therapy sessions.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 5 - Morning

Sun, 05 Apr 2020 12:05:13 +0000

For Day 5 of National Poetry Writing Month, the prompt is to write something aligned with “Twenty Little Poetry Projects,” originally developed by Jim Simmerman. Here goes (very loosely interpreted):

\\\* The sun parts the curtain of the night its light like a knife cutting through the crust of bleary eyes.

In its wake comes the sound of birds waking - a mellifluous melody and tribute to the muscle memory of the cycle of life and time.

NaPowriMo 2020 - Day 4: Dream

Sat, 04 Apr 2020 13:59:48 +0000

For national Poetry Month day 4. The prompt for the day asked to write a poem based on an image from a dream. I chose to go with dreams as a genre of mental experience.. Here goes.

\\\* What if a dream is the whisper of God, his touch, light on the shoulder feather-like, a word in the ear of the worn and the weary: Come drink, fill yourself with this water?

NaPoWriMo 2020 - Day 3: Live Anyway..

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 13:28:22 +0000

For Day 3 of National Poetry Writing Month. Today’s prompt is to make a list of ten words, and use Rhymezone to build a bank of words for use in a poem.. Here goes.

\\\* Without a care the sparrow flits between the trees oblivious of the need to fret for bread or bed but returns each day to its nest, its place of rest from the coming and the going - from first light to the gloaming - and the cycling of the seasons as they decay; birth and death, being and becoming.

NaPoWriMo2020 - Day 2: Place

Thu, 02 Apr 2020 18:07:13 +0000

Place, for NaPoWriMo2020 Day 2, the prompt being to write a poem about a place. My old house on the corner of 3rd and 39th with its stubborn grass and red earth came to mind. I miss it!

\\\* I carry your memories in my heart, the bright tint of your red earth whipped to fine dust by the Harmattan wind, the whistle of your tall pines, the smell of your freshly cut grass in the aftermath of mowing. I remember the sound of cocks crowing the call of the muezzin, piercing the morning air like a knife and cherish the memories of small things, of peace, of beauty and of simple days.

NaPoWriMo2020 - Day 1: Peeling

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 17:48:01 +0000

And so in the midst of all that’s broken in the world, its Day One of National Poetry Writing Month for 2020. Today’s prompt is to write a self-portrait poem in which you make a specific action a metaphor for your life. My choice is life as peeling onions.

\\\* When it all falls apart, like a ball of yarn slowly unravelling, the wind whispers in my ear: this is how life is, an onion, complex in its layers each hiding and being hidden, drawing tears as its juices released in a flash rise. In the stinging we remember the promise of savoury things where in the present bland things lie.

34. Flitting

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 10:13:53 +0000

For Lent Week 5, Monday. A response to the CoE’s #LiveLent reflection for the day. Photo by A Perry on Unsplash

\\\* Without a care the birds flit blithely between the trees, their bare branches lit briefly as though by the light of exploding stars, bright colours and persistent chirps in their own ways declaring this is good.

33. Fifth Day

Sun, 29 Mar 2020 18:40:03 +0000

For the start of Week 5 of the CoE’s #LiveLent Devotional for Lent 2020. Photo by Dane Deaner on Unsplash

\\\* In the swoosh of the wings of the bald eagle diving to snatch fish from the sea - its sustenance elegantly eked by dint of labour day by day - and the quiet resplendence of the colourful coral, goodness resides; each in its way declaring, this is good, this birthing on the fifth.

Writing Creative Non-Fiction - Assignment #4: On Woolf on Cavendish

Sun, 29 Mar 2020 13:35:57 +0000

This week’s assignment offered a choice of character depictions. I opted to go with reviewing Virginia Woolf’s 1925 essay, The Duchess of Newcastle , from The Common Reader First Series . Its subject is Margaret Cavendish the Duchess of Newcastle. I very much enjoyed getting to learn about her. Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

\\\*

It is difficult to come away from Virginia Woolf’s essay on the life of Margaret Cavendish with anything but a sense of admiration for the person the Duchess of Newcastle was: a libertarian who lived life on her own terms, a prodigious thinker, prolific writer and designer, all-round force of nature and perhaps proto-feminist. What is even more remarkable about her life is the context within which it was lived, times which seen from the lofty, enlightened heights of our 21st-century sofas seem like the dark ages. Given the latitude to explore and later express a non traditional interpretation of the roles of daughter and wife by both her mother and husband, we get the sense that virtually every thought she had was encouraged and articulated in some shape or form with no attempt to self-censure. It helped perhaps that there were no children to encumber her free spirit. Given Virginia Woolf’s own life and character – and reputation for being a free spirit of sorts too - the largely positive portrayal here does beg the question of objectivity given the tendency in all of us to eulogise those who inspire us and worship them as heroes.

30. What If...

Thu, 26 Mar 2020 08:05:37 +0000

What if disease is the earth groaning, these bodies daily breaking its cry for relief from our feet pressed hard against its throat? What if…

25. Rest

Sat, 21 Mar 2020 13:56:15 +0000

For Week 3, Weekend of the CoE’s #LiveLent Devotional:

\\\* The curse on the slithering snake is to toil ceaselessly, to eke each day’s living from the benighted earth. The promise we hold to is the blessing of the seventh, that after six summers of toil, the seventh brings rest and healing.

23. Impermanence

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 18:02:51 +0000

For Week 3, Thursday:

\\\* The rush of locusts leaves the trees - once lush and green - bare, each fading away in the impermanence, of fields destroyed; the ground mourning the demise of a raw and an exquisite beauty. This is how the earth groans, curled up in pain at the wilfulness of wanton waste, a silent witness to the marks we’ve missed. We bring our clay, our bodies and and our burdens to this place to this aftermath of loss, and hope for redemption, that this place broken in the moment can be whole and holy once again.

22. Salvation

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 18:50:18 +0000

For Week 3, Wednesday:

\\\* Drop by drop flake by flake the seeds of life are coming and going a stairway between heaven and earth, words watering it with life, calling a harvest from dry things. Each seed is becoming a harvest; of redemption and salvation - joy returning where sadness once reigned.

21. River side

Tue, 17 Mar 2020 08:55:46 +0000

For the Week 3, Tuesday reflection in the CoE’s #LiveLent Devotional:

\\\* Trees planted by the river are blessed with the fortitude to resist the howling of the wind the pounding of the waves and the dying the heat and drying bring. Their roots hold together the soil, their leaves stay green even in the season of forgetting. So hold me, tell my heart to trust, to not waver in this season of distress.

20. Earth Song

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 10:42:37 +0000

A response to the Week 3, Monday reflection in the CoE’s #LiveLent series

\\\* Land and plants the Lord God made each one, called forth by the thundering of His voice. First dry land carved from the gathering of the waters then seeds, each taught to yield it’s kind. And everything- the red earth, white beach lush plain and rugged hill sings as one. My God, how great Thou art.

19. Third Day

Sun, 15 Mar 2020 12:58:42 +0000

19-tree

For the start of Week 3 of the CoE’s #LiveLent Reflections.

The wet grass catches the faint light of the rising sun, each blade resplendent in its very present beauty. Here today but gone tomorrow each clump is a promise of provision, a gift of remembering that tomorrow, and the rising sun will come.

Writing Creative Non-Fiction - Assignment #3: An Interview of Sorts

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 23:11:00 +0000

This week’s assignment was to interview someone, summarizing what we learned about them in 300 to 500 words. Here goes.. Image by Clint McKoy on Unsplash

\\\* R was hunched over his phone typing furiously when I pushed the door open and walked into the restaurant, one of the many that dot the roadside on this corner of the seaside boulevard. I was three minutes late but he, ever the most punctual of people, had arrived early and was in the middle of typing an acerbic note to me.

18. Living Water

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 09:30:34 +0000

For the Week 2, Weekend reflection in the CoE’s #LiveLent series for 2020.

\\\* I come at noon the burden of shame around my neck like a shawl hiding me. I come to find water, to sate my thirst to soak my face in its cooling and wash the dust away. But here I find you offering living water. I drink for cleansing for my scarlet to be white and to never thirst again.

17. A Prayer for A Season of Overwhelm

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 22:38:18 +0000

For the Week 2, Friday’s #LiveLent Devotional, particularly apt given the state of play of the coronavirus pandemic.

\\\* Worn and weary from the tears of fitful crying I find myself stretched straining like a string to hold together; one hand sinking into a slushy earth and the other tottering like a tree listing in a storm. As these waters reach my neck as breath begins to slip and my body begins to yield to these dark depths Abba be a rock be a shelter from the storm be my anchor.

15. Baptism

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 16:38:00 +0000

Today’s CoE #LiveLent Devotional invites us to reflect on baptism, and how it is a symbol of our death and resurrection with Christ. Here goes:

\\\* I come to this water, let me go beneath its flood and die, and then arise reborn, raised to freedom and new desires. Let me sense your welcome, your voice speaking once but echoing across the hills and the valleys telling me, welcome lost son, my prodigal returned.

13. Water, Again

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 19:42:08 +0000

For Day 11 of the CoE’s Lent 2020 Devotional.

\\\* I come thirsty for your water, for its wetting and its washing for how it revivifies my dead and dying places making their hard, worn edges into soft and pliant spaes. I come thirsty, head bowed in quiet supplication, to live again.

12. Water

Sun, 08 Mar 2020 19:07:46 +0000

For Day 10 of the CoE #Livelent Devotional, the focus being the second day of creation with water being brought forth…

\\\* First comes light, making lost things found, dark places bright and clear and beautiful again, and then comes water to wash and clean and bring life to all the dead and dying things. May the dark places of our hearts be lit and whole again and our hands clean.

11. Light and Darkness

Sat, 07 Mar 2020 22:30:09 +0000

For Week 1, Weekend of the CoE’s #LiveLent Devotional

\\\* Into the dark night light shines, bit by bit driving fear away

10. Light...

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 19:43:23 +0000

For Day Nine, the invitation is to reflect on light and heat and the benefits access to electricity brings to people around the world. That immediately brought to mind the Parable of the Lost Coin, and how for all the sweeping and cleaning, the lost coin is found because of the illumination light brings. Here goes then:

\\\* You realise that light is good when the thing you lost is found, wedged between the corner of your bed and the cold wall, that tiny space worn beige by the tyranny of time. When in the shiver of a winter night you wrap your hands around a cup of warm tea, its chipped edge and faded art a reminder of all its seasons of use, you realise that light is good, and the darkness all around fades.

9. Song of The Light

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 20:40:46 +0000

For Day 8 of the Church of England’s LiveLent devotional for Lent. \\\* Tell the darkness there is no room here, that though small and weak and flickering in the wind, your light will be a bulwark, a hedge against the pressure closing in. You’re a city on a hill a light raised high for all to see. Shine.

8. Swords, Spears, Ploughshares

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 23:40:26 +0000

Image Source

\\\* Yield your swords, pound them into ploughshares, and your spears into pruning hooks

from instruments of harm, life begins to spring up when we walk in Light

7. Springing

Tue, 03 Mar 2020 20:00:23 +0000

\\\* It lingers in the air- this faint scent of things stirring, fair and comely things in all their colour beginning to rear their head in the light of the lengthening days. here, earth heeds the call to birth again from death and dying life begins to spring again.

Writing Creative Non-Fiction - Assignment #2: On Detail and Deduction

Tue, 03 Mar 2020 07:03:17 +0000

Last week’s assignment was to take a look at an image and attempt to deduce and interpret what it is about from the details one can see. I went for the image above, Jan van Eyck’s Portrait of Arnolfini. Here goes.

\\\* What strikes me the first time I look at the picture is how young and frail she looks. With eyes looking downwards and away from his face, as though in deference, one gets the impression that she feels entirely in his power, her demeanour almost apologising for intruding into his space. He, on the other hand, has that stance that screams importance, eyes forward, looking towards the one who has crafted the scene, seeming to declare that he owns everything in sight. I am here and in charge. All this is mine, notice me!

6. Light

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 19:30:03 +0000

For Day 1 of Week 1 of the #LiveLent devotional for Lent.

\\\* Bless our broken and our breaking, these bodies creaking beneath the pressure of a living daily eked out. Bless our riven hearts in all their parts, strewn as it were along the paths we once trod in hope. Let light, by your speaking bring peace Let our shattered things be whole again let hope with light spring, again.

5. First Day

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 10:21:07 +0000

For Week 1, Sunday of the CoE’s #LiveLent Devotional \\\* Over the cold dark swirling mists, the Spirit breathes then speaks: Light, come forth.

4. Reconciliation

Sat, 29 Feb 2020 22:13:19 +0000

For Day 4 of the CoE #LiveLent Devotional. \\\* All things - the frail and the sturdy, the weak and the strong- hold together, and consist in You Who leaves the saved ninety-nine to find the one; lost sheep who slips into the dark and unclear paths where fear thrives. You offer redemption and finding and saving from the miry clay. Save me.

3. That Laughter May Return

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 20:45:51 +0000

\\\* May laughter linger here, ring loud in this place where the weight of the burden of living once reigned.

May the promise of good news, of sight and freedom come true, bringing life to this thirsty earth.

2. Dance

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 18:05:51 +0000

\\\* I come to lose myself in the brightness of the King, to join the crashing waves the whistling winds and glistening leaves in joyful adoration, to raise a song, like a string quivering at the strumming of the maestro, a tune pregnant with desire its purpose revealed in the reveling of those who hear, many voices, all together resounding as one.

1. A Poem For Remembering We Are Dust

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 17:05:35 +0000

For Lent this year, I’m choosing to reflect via the medium of poetry, inspired in part by Pádraig Ó Tuama’s Poetry Unbound podcast and an inability to pray, in any formal sense of the word. What started as a season of uncertainty has evolved into something bigger, hence this, an attempt to use poetry as prayer. These will be a response to the daily reflection from the Church of England’s LiveLent app which this year encourages us to reflect on creation and how we can be better stewards of it. Here goes! NB for a version in which I attempt to read, visit the anchor.fm page. \\\* The bright gleam of sunlight reflecting in the glass and the steel of the hills we have built lull me into forgetting, that this - these monuments to our power and resolve which wrap themselves like a shroud around the horizon, a scar from a wound revived in the present, tethering us to the certainty of the things we think we know- is but a moment, fleeting in its existence.

A Novem For Starlight

Sun, 23 Feb 2020 15:53:44 +0000

For the Poetic Aside Prompt #516 and the Novem poetic form. Not strictly interpreted though… \\\* Come bask beneath the starlight. Yield yourself to Time’s

gift of colour splashed across night’s canvas. Come here,

Hear the whisper of nature’s song. Ponder in awe.

Week Two

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 14:30:17 +0000

Between a super busy week at work and beginning to pack up my life for an upcoming move, I made slow going of studying this week, hence the lateness of this week’s wrap-up. A highlight was receiving largely positive feedback on my first assignment, an exercise in people-watching which took me to a city centre Burger King.

This week’s learning focus was research; tips and tricks for getting beneath the skin of a place to understand the wider context behind the story we’re trying to tell and to ground it in facts and truths. Memory being as fickle as it can be, there was rightly a focus on building systems for capturing details about the people, places and things we write about. Upon reflection, some of the great essayists who have inspired me on this journey have documented their own systems for doing just this including David Sedaris and Ryan Holiday (both of whom have inspired Austin Kleon) to name a few. Also introduced this week were a number of tools: brainstorming (a la mind maps of ideas around a central topic) and foot stepping, physically visiting the area one wishes to write about to absorb its very essence into one’s mind. That I suspect will be very useful over the next few years as I travel more.

Wafting

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 13:24:15 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #95.

\\\* It thunders, and then it wafts, its wispy tendrils slowly rising like the white smoke of incense from a censer, held aloft by a priest intoning a muttered prayer. Behind, a bridge to the past hides, disappearing, as it were, into the haze of memory; ahead, the future - not yet glimpsed but in the moment frozen - and enjoyed.

Writing Creative Non-Fiction - Assignment #1: People Watching

Fri, 14 Feb 2020 12:57:36 +0000

Last week was about thinking about the underlying reasons for writing, this week was starting off on the journey towards sharpening our powers of observation, the idea being to hone our ability to find stories in the quotidian. A city-centre eatery late one night was my muse.

\\\* It is a little after 8.30pm when the smell of French fries wafting in through the door draws me in. The first thing that strikes me as I stride through the door is how empty it looks, the bulk of the two-storied structure being cordoned off, with only the small section to the right of the counter open for use. I find the emptiness surprising given it is next to a major bus station and right in the centre of town. As I wait for the chance to order, I find myself behind three people, all decked out in the garb of people dressed to brace the cold, with the brightly coloured logo of a food delivery service gracing the insulated bags they hold.

Lift Off

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 10:47:56 +0000

One of my objectives for 2020 is to complete a Creative Non-Fiction course, which is how I signed up for the National Centre for Writing’s Start Writing Creative Non-Fiction course. Once a week, or so, I’ll drop a few thoughts on exercises completed, thoughts and progress on here. Here goes the first one.

\\\* The focus of this first week has been pondering the question ‘why?’, exploring the motivations for taking on the course, and perhaps the underlying book project which it is assumed one is working on. For me, the course is an attempt to go beneath the surface and understand the techniques behind good writing, in keeping with the theme for this year of Delving Deeper. Progress on that elusive memoir, The Small Light in Things. will be a very welcome bonus.

Gift

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 11:15:47 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt 93:

\\\* Here, prone beneath the weight of things unseen, the vision has begun to fade, the dream once resplendent in its colour, now faint and grey, Between the leaving and the grieving a messenger appears, a key in its wings, a gift of redemption and rebirth.

Oasis

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 04:41:54 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #92 and Matthew 11:28-30.

\\\* Beyond the drying and the dying salvation calls; the distant shimmer of light cast by the morning sun a whisper to the weary; Come, draw nigh all ye who are heavy laden, who bear the burden of a common life around their neck. Hope and Haven is the promise, if we dare go through the door into the way.

Arctic Eyes

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 12:40:21 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #90 .

\\\* The brilliance of her luminescent eyes lights the darkness all around, twin pricks of desire shining bright, like stars, stark against the tapestry of a night sky. Fire and ice, both together and apart lie here, the wild and the quiet as one.

The Diary: Malta

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 18:29:52 +0000

\\\* 4 am on a weekend is far too early to wake up, particularly when it is the next day after a late-night flight, but given my flight the next day is a 7.30am one I have to suck it up. The next day, having rushed through a shower, completed final bag checks and double-checked I have my passport, we find ourselves in a taxi speeding away on the A3 a little after 5am, barely lucid but glad I don’t have to do the driving. At Gatwick, we find lengthy lines bent double on themselves with baggage handlers thin on the ground. That EasyJet, that famously lean airline, deigns to apologise over the state of affairs is perhaps all one needs to know about just how dire the situation is. Thankfully, we make it through baggage drop and security just before 7am; just enough time to grab a Shake Shack breakfast bun and start frantically eyeing the departure boards for signs of our flight. It ends up delayed, no surprise there.

2020: Delve Deeper - The Plan

Fri, 10 Jan 2020 17:25:04 +0000

One of the unintended outcomes of my year of living intentionally was revisiting my life plan and rejigging it to incorporate a Codex Vitae and annual (Life) plans. The framework remains the same: three interaction spaces (personal, professional, and public) and seven life domains (spiritual, physical, relational, financial, vocational, mental, causes and charities) across which the health of my life is measured. The idea is to, on an annual basis, review the health of my life using the seven domains to identify ones that need focus in addition to the three interaction spaces. The output of this exercise then is 10-12 goals which form the main objectives for the year.

2020: Delve Deeper

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 16:19:00 +0000

One of the biggest disappointments of 2019 for me was interviewing at a company across town and failing to land a job there. It was a company I had admired for some time, the role itself was to be the team leader for a small group of technical specialists overseeing a North sea portfolio and the pay was better; an added incentive. The interview itself started off well I thought but somewhere around three-quarters of the way through, it delved into territory I wasn’t overly familiar with. Part of it was a failure of preparation; I hadn’t taken the time to get intimately familiar with the company’s portfolio and thus prepare for any potential curveballs. The more I mulled over the disappointment, and let time do its thing, the clearer it became to me that this had ultimately been a failure of depth. I knew enough about my subject, had built a reputation in my locality and knew enough about the company to give the perception of competence and suitability on the surface. It was when the screws were turned and the veneer was stripped back, that a lack of depth - somewhat dodgy foundations if you like - proved my undoing.

The Year of Living Intentionally - Revisited

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 22:02:14 +0000

\\\* 2019 was my Year of Living Intentionally; the central idea being to stop living life on the huff but instead to define a plan and live by it. Five key themes came out from that period of reflection; Learn, Prepare, Engage, Diversify and Measure, with fifteen discrete actions identified across those themes. The screenshot above is of the dashboard that tracked the key metrics from the year. All told, a few great ones, several meh ones and a few epic fails. Data apart, I think the big benefit from this for the year is the visibility of my performance. I now need to build a practice of regular assessments and reviews to enable the Act-Check portion of the Plan-Do-Check-Act cycle.

The Year in Reading 2019

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 09:10:38 +0000

It’s that time of the year again where I reflect on my reading over the course of the year. It wasn’t the most productive year of reading proper books (the web has cannibalised that for good for me I’m afraid) but a late spurt in November and December brought some redemption. For a more wide-ranging review of the year in books, check out the coverage at The Millions here. My previous attempts are linked here .

Life In A Song (Or Two)

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 17:12:56 +0000

\\\* The data is in, Planetshakers were both my artiste of the year and of the decade if Spotify’s number-crunching can be believed. Compared to 2018, I listened to 36% less music, although I suspect that had more to do with listening to a lot more podcasts than I did last year (thanks to switching to an Android phone and Pocket Casts), streaming more radio and the occasional YouTube binge. What would be fantastic would be a service that aggregated my listening across all these platforms and thus enabled me to delve deeper into the underlying trends to my listening.

Year in Review

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 09:24:07 +0000

A collection of my annual plans and reviews going forward

The Life Plan

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 09:20:23 +0000

Background

Over the past few years, I have taken several stabs at building a Life Plan, inspired primarily by The Art of Manliness and the precursor to Michael Hyatt’s book, Living Forward. With the milestone age of 40 just over the horizon, it feels like a good time to reflect on where I am and refresh my plan for the next 10+ years. To do this, I am asking myself three questions:

Who am I?
Where do I want to be?
What does success look like?

In addition to the two above, each year I will be asking myself two additional questions:

Codex Vitae

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 09:04:55 +0000

My Codex Vitae. Inspired by Buster Benson, amongst others. I expect to update this annually at or around the end of the year following which a theme, objectives and metrics to track for the following year will be identified. My Life Plan document is linked here.

Beliefs

Beliefs about Origins

Life was placed on earth by an intelligent designer. This does not preclude the existence of life on other planets/ star systems
A young earth is not congruous with the scientific evidence, the Genesis account is best understood as a parable about origins not scientific fact.

Beliefs about Faith & Religion

Calvinism Vs Arminianism,
About Jesus: a real person,
Actions and motives trump beliefs up to a certain extent. Inclusion in the in-group is contingent upon holding to a relatively small number of core/essential beliefs (the apostles creed?)

Beliefs about Reality

Beliefs about the Future

Abandonment

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 19:11:03 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #84. Image Source. \\\* Behind the grime, and the ravages of time the remains of living now lie, each layer of dirt a sigh, a dirge for the mystery of abandonment, for how easy it is for things once woven into the fabric of the present to slip beneath the shroud of the memories we lose. Maybe this is what leaving is, things returning to the way they always were.

Lights, Lines, December

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 21:03:06 +0000

\\\*

It’s that time of the year again in which light, or more correctly it’s absence, defines everything out here; the wet, cold, barely light mornings morphing into grey overcast afternoons which in turn become dark evenings just in time for the trek back home. I, like everyone else out here, am finding that I have little energy to be out and about, the lure of spending time indoors, bar dragging myself out to church and back, proving too strong. The lethargy extends to my running, as it has for each of the last three years according to Strava, the 30km I clocked in November being a far cry from the 100km+ highs of the summer months. From the comfort of my duvet, I wonder how folk out here survived back in the day. I suppose that is why there is a rich tradition of the literature of immigrants, those who bear the shadow of elsewhere - to borrow a turn of phrase from Elif Shafak’s 10 minutes 38 seconds in This Strange World.

Thankful Thursdays 48/2019

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 22:49:31 +0000

Thankful for:

Payday on the 25th, I had come close to scrapping the bottom of the barrel, if I say so myself!
A good return to Instagram, my post got liked a fair bit which is perhaps a tad shallow of me but whatever :)
My Freetrade investment turned into positive territory for the first time ever it seems. Progress.
Have a work-related query which seemed like it would be a hassle to resolve which has now been resolved. Grateful for supportive work mates!

After The Rain

Tue, 26 Nov 2019 17:06:22 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #83 . Image “After The Rain” by Cyril Rolando

\\\*
I tremble
at the echo of
the booming thunder,
the resounding
of its clap like
the roar of a lion
stirred, a brilliance
incandescent in its majesty
as it splits the night sky
like a warm knife
shears butter.

I have shivered
in the embrace
of a light rain
its fluid fingers,
by persistence finding
their way through
my garments till
they meet my
bare skin.

Thankful Thursday 47/2019

Thu, 21 Nov 2019 15:24:19 +0000

\\\*

Grateful for:

Friends and great conversations: Church finished a little early on Sunday, following which we were all encouraged to catch up with folk we hadn’t spoken to in a while. It was a delight to have a lengthy chat with U and O. Delighted
Good news on the job front, with significant progress towards getting a visa for my move to the Middle East. Thankful.

Wildlings

Tue, 19 Nov 2019 20:20:01 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #82.

\\\* Though quiet in their noon day repose, strength hides within their supple limbs, the power of the one - unfettered in its reach - melded to the quiet guile of the other; together - a Whole stronger than its parts - freely, wildly going.

Kicking off the Christmas Silly Season and a difficult conversation of sorts

Sun, 17 Nov 2019 18:27:23 +0000

Over the past few weeks, temperatures have slowly crept lower and lower, dipping below zero on occasion and leaving the city centre sidewalks crunchy and slippery underfoot at times. The leaves that the trees - once leafy and full but now stark against the light of the reluctant mornings - shed haven’t helped the state of affairs, trapping moisture which turns into treacherous ice once the temperatures dip below zero. All of that, and being this side of Halloween, means that it is the beginning of the Christmas Party silly season. This year, I have just the two to attend, a far cry from the halcyon days of $100 oil. I suppose this belt-tightening regime can only be a good thing, given it underscores a more prudent, sustainability-focused outlook for the industry. Tight belts or not, there is a certain bluntness which alcohol engenders, that is one of the things I am looking forward to witnessing.

Thankful Thursdays - 46/2019

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 20:33:50 +0000

\\\*

Grateful for:

Opportunities to give back by giving a presentation at an AFBE school engagement session. It helped that there were friendly faces there, M included.
Catching up with old friends via lengthy phone calls during which it feels like we never stopped talking, everything running seamlessly into each other
Brunch at Bell D’Amico after several months away down south. Sunday brunch is becoming a thing!
Survived another week at work - waiting can be a pain!
Participated in a health challenge at work which shows my underlying numbers - blood pressure, cholesterol etc are in a good place. :)

Reading

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 05:06:40 +0000

Links to my Year in Reading Posts over the years

Dancing In The Dark

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 12:54:18 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #81 . Photography by Sarolta Ban (Website HERE )
\\\*
The lure of the lyre -
alive in its reverb - calls out,
inviting beauty and the beast
to dance, to yield to the rhythm
of the wind, as it rustles
in the leaves, swaying the trees.
We all - boar and deer-
of earth born and saved,
gather here, to dance
the gentle dance
of the dark.

Of Cross roads...

Sun, 10 Nov 2019 11:00:09 +0000

Image Source: Lachlan Donald on Unsplash

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about crossroads - the metaphorical kind of course - points in one’s life where decisions with the potential to change the trajectory of one’s life are foisted upon one. The triggers for this latest bout of thinking are varied but the one common thread is a sense of dissatisfaction which has simmered below the surface for most of the year. Turning forty is certainly part of that, particularly as in its immediate aftermath, it felt like I had reached the top of a mountain only to find there was nothing to be seen there. There is also the desire to head down south for good for family reasons, which perhaps has declared open season on everything I have done for work over the past fifteen-ish years. In the rarefied atmosphere in which my thought experiments exist, everything is an option: from a complete pivot away from oil and gas into something more tech-related, through a less severe move away from being the (siloed) technical specialist I have spent the past few years evolving into becoming more of a generalist to a gap year, travelling the world.

Thankful Thursdays 45/2019

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 03:58:37 +0000

\\\** Thankful for:

Friendly faces: Out and about during my lunch hour, it was a breath of fresh air to run into T around U Square. A friendly face in the midst of the day’s battle is always a welcome sight, dare I say
Came through a difficult presentation to Senior Management at work, it feels like I am settling in more and more to this new role at work. I still want/ wish my next move is wrapped up ASAP though. The future beckons.

Missing Parts

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 04:05:12 +0000

For the Sunday Muse prompt #80 and Wordle 428. Image source.

\\\* I carry a heavy silence in my missing parts, each breath a prayer for resolve to fight the desire to resign myself to the ache of a festering disgust spawned by the echoes of a lie borne up on the winds from the hills into the valley’s depths.

Outside a crisis looms - our house of cards built up brick by brick with the things we want to believe slowly yields to the probing of the truth, until in the way things really are I find myself covered, whole again.

Together...

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 04:30:57 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #79 and Wordle 472

\\\* Sometimes beautiful things can dance in the light - the dainty and the dense chiming together, their hum heavy with intent as it probes the edge between the steady and the sublime. In washing the raw hide of of a dead gazelle with salt there is a saving from its struggle with putrefaction, a prayer for forgiveness, for absolution for the crime of taking by brute force. Here on the edge of the things we think we know the dainty and the dense become as one, both reduced to subsisting at the mercy of the things which hold everything together.

Shelter

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 12:33:43 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #78. Image copyright Erik Johansson.

\\\* Stroke by stroke these words, hewn by force, as though from resistant rock are building a shelter, each one a link to a thought and then a world beating back the clouds which loom, a slowly growing splash of colour holding out against the ashen night without. These words are calling the trees, to stand in defiance against the howling wind and the ground, now covered with frost, to cling to life, through the night, because tomorrow comes, and with beginning again.

Thankful Thursdays 2019 : Week 42

Thu, 17 Oct 2019 03:00:27 +0000

More job opportunities - both abroad and in the UK - which I’m being considered for.
Clear the air talks with S
Friends, who at short notice modified their programs to assist me with signing off on paper work.

Thankful Thursdays 2019: Week 41

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 05:43:45 +0000

Came through what could have been a tricky presentation at work. The reward of good work is more work as they say, so more work is on the horizon.
Great news from an interview I attended in early August, an offer has been extended I now need to make a decision!

Thankful Thursday: 2019 Week 40

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 11:42:51 +0000

\\\*

A lot has happened over the last week: travelling for work in West Africa, juggling tight deadlines at work and interviewing for a new role I’d really like to get. All told, it’s a week I have survived, specific things I’m grateful for include:

Returning safely to firm land following my four or so days offshore in the Ivory Coast.
Resolution of a minor snafu at entry in which I failed to turn in my passport for a new visa stamp but managed to do so on my way out without any issues
For pepper, and how it makes everything taste great again, especially fried plantains which are a staple out here.
For friendly faces: people I’ve worked with in a different office who it was great to meet and get help settling in from.
For good early opportunities: I spent a day sat next to a guy who had spent time working in Nigeria as an expat for the company I started off with. Being able to swap stories of that was great!
The opportunity to interview at a much bigger company than mine across town.Apparently mine was one of four CVs selected from 60+ applicants. Good to know my CV was of interest in what was a competitive field. I hope I get the job, but if not some constructive feedback would be great!

Yellow Dream

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 19:38:55 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #75. Image Source .

\\\* A yellow orb,tethered to the earth by slender strings descends, its yellow light a hue cast over this dream in which I find myself looking at my selves; the past and the future holding the hands of the present, tiny figures scurrying up ladders which seem to reach for the sky, reinventing what is seen. Darkness lingers in the corners of this vista but stroke by stroke pixel by pixel, the dream and reality are slowly melding into one.

Quarterly Review - Q3 2019

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 16:59:27 +0000

Went Well

Transition to new role at work
Restarted a weekly Thankful Thursdays feature on here, in a bid to build an attitude of gratitude
Significantly increased my monthly run distance peaking at over 100km for July & August
Came through my regular BP checks in August without any need to adjust meds etc
Interviewed for AOC role, waiting to hear back on a potential offer, also waiting to interview for a senior M&C role at an oil major in the next few days.

Didn’t Go Well

Spiritual life is still out of sorts,
Suffered occasional bouts of panic, negative self talk and lack of self confidence both at work and my personal life. Need to get a regular meetup and support set up with an older wiser head/ mentor (eg Pastor W?)
Didn’t write as much as I thought I would. Need to establish a series of rituals to make this happen semi-automatically
Relationship with S appears stalled, with us both living our separate lives and not bonding as well as we should, current living arrangements being the primary cause I believe.

Year Objectives and Status

The 11 things:

Thankful Thursdays: 2019 Week 39

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 20:42:28 +0000

\\\*

This week I am thankful for:

The opportunity to travel for work, the starting point of which was a 3.00am wake up, final bag checks and then dragging myself into a taxi by 4.00am. For what it’s worth, taxi’s out here can be a bit hit or miss, thankfully this one was a big hit; a Sri Lankan national who had lived and worked in most of West Africa in the early 2,000s and had an opinion on the Jollof rice wars. All of that made for a very pleasurable, if slightly woozy 20 minute ride to the airport. Bliss.
The flight itself - business class via work - reminded me of all the delights of not travelling cattle class. All told - from leaving my house and arriving at my hotel at the other side - it was the better part of 16 hours, including a lengthy wait in Bamako for the President of Mali to fly off. The relative ease in which I travelled was something to be grateful for, as was what appeared to be a deportation, a reminder that just over 10 years ago, I arrived in my current country as an intrepid student but now have the luxury of belonging to another country.
Friendly faces on one of the assets I stopped over at which made my easing into that work day the easiest it could be, given the circumstances
Although my room on the first FPSO was iffy, I am thankful for the comparatively plush lodgings I ended up in, on day 3.

Remembering

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 17:04:06 +0000

Image source, for The Sunday Muse prompt #74

\\\* Like the slowly louder clunks a train’s wheels send ahead, as it wends its way along ancient tracks, the old man’s memories float slowly to the fore, the streaks of dappled light dancing on the walls behind his face a spotlight, falling on him the same way it falls on a minstrel at a cabaret, drawing a hush out of the muted mumblings of the gathered. Though his wrinkled skin, once soft now lies wrinkled, warped and folded and his fingers once supple now lack dexterity, like a seagull resplendent in its freedom the memories of past songs return, the track and the piano fusing in a crescendo refusing to be silenced.

Thankful Thursdays: 2019 Week 38

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 20:19:11 +0000

\\\*

Second week since I’ve restarted these, and the first in which I have been trying to keep a log in my notebook through the week. Here goes:

Several times over the last seven days I’ve managed to bust out several good runs ranging from 5 to 10km. Given a mere three years ago, I could hardly complete 2.5km in a go, going the distances I now can is something to be grateful for.
Meetups with people I have known through work dominated my social life this past week. First off was a catch up with R who I shared an office with when I first joined my current company back in 2011 and who I have stayed friends with. I have him to thank for making the effort to draw me out from the shy, reserved, headphones-in-my-ears-all-the-time guy I was when I joined. The other meetup was with M, at a Nigerian eatery in town. He managed the pepper OK, and we have notionally agreed to do this every quarter, if we can.
The other big catchup was with S, whom I hadn’t spoken to in quite some time. It is always amazing to catch up with someone I haven’t in a while and then the conversation just seems to continue from where it stops. Grateful for friends!
My relationship with my local church (and the big C church to be honest) isn’t the greatest at all. Having managed to drag myself there last Sunday, quite a few things said seem to hit right home and capture the moment where I am at the moment.

Stolen

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 11:52:38 +0000

For the Sunday Muse prompt #73.

\\\** Beneath the garb of Prudence and propriety deep delight can lurk.

Thankful Thursdays: 2019 Week 37

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 04:28:06 +0000

It has been a while I did one of these, life happened I guess, but recently I have come back to a place where mental health has come front and centre in the circles I roll in again. I suspect if you asked S, she would say I have been a terrible old git for most of the past year, which is where actively cultivating an attitude of gratitude comes in. The idea would be to document one thing per day that I am grateful for, and share on here on a Thursday. So here goes:

Free

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 10:52:37 +0000

Photography by Svetlana Belyaeva click HERE for website. For the Sunday Muse Prompt #71

\\\* Where fear once threaded its tiny tendrils through our feet, and captive hearts

We choose to fly free leaving behind the safety of this confined space.

Because though freedom only is a promise, it trumps certain defeat.

By Degrees: Lessons from My Decade of Being Thirty Something

Sat, 31 Aug 2019 10:23:32 +0000

The year I turned thirty, I was a student battling to put finishing touches to my master’s degree dissertation and pondering what the future had in store for me. That the success or failure of that year, and the year before that, came down to that singular task was the result of an unanticipated turn of events which turned what was a leave of absence to return to full-time study into having to leave my Nigerian job. Grad school, my response to the year before that, had made sense in my head largely because it seemed a low risk, given there was a reasonably high likelihood of returning. I, as it would turn out was ultimately mistaken.

Gift

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 17:23:32 +0000

Gift, for The Sunday Muse prompt #68. Photography by Edouard Boubat.

\\\* Against the pressure of the sea and the darkness of the depths, the gift has been formed, layer by layer each crystal a prayer offered up for protection from the predation of the boring sponge, the oyster worm and the scurrying crab.

Each day that water has washed over it - wearing tiny paths across its stubborn skin - a battle has been won; of survival, and quiet reassurance. And when someday, bequeathed by the sea, it lies in the hands of a grateful child, its hardy brilliance will yet still speak, more loudly in its silence than all the things it has survived.

Broken Things

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 12:46:34 +0000

Photo by Thiago Matos from Pexels. For the Sunday Muse prompt #67

\\\*

Even broken things can sometimes find a use: jagged edges catching light,

a half-face teasing memory, and imagination. Life, reinvented.

Stripping, (TV) Binges and Thinking About Thinking

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 19:53:03 +0000

By some unexpected twist of fate, I found myself heading into Central London on the hottest day of the year, a fairly tropical 37 degrees Celsius, and that for the first time since last December. The destination was the Nigeria High Commission on Northumberland Avenue, the plan to get my expired Nigerian passport renewed. To get here I had had to jump through several tortuous loops, not helped by the fact that my trips down to England are scheduled months in advance with impromptu trips being aggressively minimised due to the costs. My takeaway from my dealings with the appointment’s system was that the (re)scheduling system could be significantly improved - first, you sign up via a third party web service, pay the booking fees and then get randomly assigned a date, one you can only change to a more suitable one by emailing back and forth, no less than six in my case – which meant in addition to the heat I very much had my mind prepared for a terrible experience which could potentially take the whole day. It might have been my low expectations, but the experience was far less stressful than I expected, sans the slow pace at which things trundled along from picking a ticket to getting called for an initial review and then submitting my biometric details. If there was a silver lining, it was that the slow pace of things – and the very many other Nigerians there for similar purposes – increased the likelihood of running into people I had not seen in a long time; 20 plus years and two kids in one case. That the most unsettling thing from all of that was wondering what the scrawny lad I ended up sitting across from on the tube from Charing Cross to Waterloo was up - to whilst reading from 2nd Corinthians 1 in a huge bible - is a miracle of sorts (events at the High Commission didn’t leave me mentally drained as they have in the past) or perhaps only the symptom of my low expectations.

Harmattan Rain

Fri, 02 Aug 2019 11:28:59 +0000

For The Wednesday Muse Prompt, Summer Rain.

\\\*

It hangs in the air like a shroud, this heavy, brooding cloud of dust through which the sun tries to force its way; the same way a frail old man, bent double at the waist, tries to hack his way through dense undergrowth, by dint of will power and persistence.

Suddenly, like a giant oak falling, squashing dense foliage with its weight, the heavens are torn by rain, and relief. Peals of thunder, flashes of lightning birth many miracles of tiny rivers suddenly sprung, washing away the dust of earth baked dry, after which comes the smell of new, clean things, of rebirth and things made whole again.

Waiting: One Day I'll Fly Away

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 10:28:56 +0000

One Day I’ll Fly Away. Photo by Hayley Roberts. For The Sunday Muse Prompt #66.

\\\*

Waiting here before this wall of burnt brick reaching high above my head

freedom seems distant a mirage shimmering in the distance; promised.

Hope deferred makes sick the longing heart, but in this sliver of breaking light,

the echo of the promise rings, one day I’ll spread my wings and fly away.

Still Life

Wed, 10 Jul 2019 20:49:00 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #63. Image: the butterfly jar by lostinthisphotograph

\\\* The beauty of these golden wings wrestled free, breath by breath, from the confines of a cocoon, finds itself entombed again, the memory of its flitting flight a distant echo now far removed from the frozen present, a life stilled.

Revivifying

Wed, 26 Jun 2019 03:19:51 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt, #61. Photo Artistry by Erik Johansson Master Photo-manipulation Artist.

\\\* Slat by slat, dab by dab this dream in grey is being remade into a sea of blue, its quiescent skin stretched tight like a canvas between the present and the past where the sky meets the earth’s lie. Each slat was once alive, each cell once bursting with the pressure of rich water, drawn by breathing; air and sunlight entwined in a dance whose beat is borne in the body, from seed to fruit to seed by rebirthing. Now this dream of grey, frozen still, is reawakening each dab of colour returning life to where it once was.

Alternate Reality

Tue, 18 Jun 2019 19:24:23 +0000

For The Sunday Muse, Prompt #60. In which I wonder what the reality of what a cat feels is.

\\\* What if what we are Are mere playthings, pawns roughly hewn from stunted dogwood, clinging to life in a season of dearth. What if the feeling of contentment is a mirage, a vision of delusion far removed from the way things really are. What if what we think is the beauty of a garland really is a chain binding us to a different reality, what if.

Dingin Doon

Sun, 16 Jun 2019 11:20:31 +0000

Photo by Thanun Buranapong on Unsplash

\\\* Bar a few days here and there it has been, as we say out here, dingin doon; read wet, cold and windy, emphasis on the wet part. That is is mid-June adds to the slight sense of gloominess that comes with it, a mood which I see replicated in the faces of the people I run into about town, in my view at least. All of that has left me with quite a lot more time on my hands than usual, which for better or for worse has ended up exploring various reddit rabbit holes, chief of which have been the Thinkpad, ChromeOS and SurfaceLinux ones. They have provided the welcome of distraction of providing the inspiration for me trying to replace Windows on my old Thinkpad Tablet 10 with either Linux or ChromeOS. Both have been qualified fails - a debloated version of windows currently serves me passably on the device -but the ultimate goal would be to replace it with something zipper and functional, à la this attempt. I suspect the search will continue, albeit at a hopefully less time intensive pace. In between all of this, I managed to fit in some time out with the guys from work, a decent enough evening the only black mark against it being the aforementioned bucket loads of rain.

By Degrees

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 20:38:20 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #59, Photography by Carlo Pautasso.

\\\* Plucked by its roots from a place where it once was whole, it lies now alone, the brightness of its petals a splash of hope stark against the blandness of everything.

The shadow of an impending end stretches from the future into this space between The Living and the bleeding out of life but till it comes, life lingers still.

Freedom

Wed, 22 May 2019 11:44:09 +0000

Freedom, for The Sunday Muse Prompt #56.

\\\* It hovers in the distance in the space where the edge of consciousness meets the taste of remembering. Where air meets skin, and the sound of living is squeezed into a high pitched wail and then regains length, and afterwards dies as they recede into the distance. Each bump on the road, is like a firm word tossed into the wind, each jar as like a current shared between melded parts. From the distance joy, delirious in its appearance calls but here in the lull before the storm lies a fleeting pleasure, a moment of peace before the whirlwinds return

Garden Spot

Thu, 16 May 2019 18:05:35 +0000

For The Sunday Wednesday Muse Prompt, Garden Spot. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash. A nod to the still vivid memories I have of being dragged off to our family farm by my parents in those dire, dark SAP days.

** First comes the rain, and then the wakened worms which turn the hard, sun-baked soil into compliant mulch. Grain by grain, leaf by leaf the beauty of Symbiosis begins to rear its head, the cycle of death begetting life and sustenance for the things we must ingest, for which with backs bent beneath the blazing sun we labour; the reward of another day survived eked out from the hard, earth.

Night Sky

Thu, 02 May 2019 08:23:50 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt, Night Sky

\\\* The starlight sprinkled like tiny slivers of silver splashed against a dark canvas peels back the curtain on a tumultuous past- birth, death, dust clouds swirling, mists of primordial molecules accreting, then Becoming - a message to the future from the past echoing down the aeons like a strummed string. I was here before you were; before your father was, and his father’s father too Now you see me as I was. Ponder.

53 - Prodigality

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 04:27:47 +0000

Photo by Josiel Miranda from Pexels, for The Sunday Muse prompt #53

\\\* You have wandered through the wilds, labouring in the shadows of seven hills through caverns carved by seven rivers to a far place, a distant country. Hurtful words tossed into the wind hang like a broken shroud flapping in the wind, heavy with intention, a reminder of the way things were but now are not. But as you linger on the edge of the sea wondering if you have wandered too far this time I see you and call your name. Come Home.

The Monthly Wrap: March, Much Ado About Nothing (Much)

Wed, 03 Apr 2019 03:48:48 +0000

Highlights

Broke 50km distance for the first time in 2019
Kept up my daily devotional streak, thanks to the CoE’s Lent Pilgrim app
Completed a book! (James Clear’s Atomic Habits). Still behind on the year plan though

Lowlights

Habit streak tracking still patchy at best
Finances ended up a mess - home improvements were unbudgeted for but perhaps add value to the house (not quantified though)

Next Month Focus Area

NaPoWriMo Day 2: Morning

Tue, 02 Apr 2019 19:51:45 +0000

For the Day 2 prompt, a poem about questions.

\\\* What is this which zips around my ears, its sound like the deep hum of an old man hunched down, stirring up the sand. It shimmers in the morning light its back a splash of gold splayed across the sky, against which stand the silhouettes of great metal tubes bending to its will. What is this but the wind, which goes wherever it wills.

NaPoWriMo Day 1: Prayer

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 19:02:57 +0000

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash. For NaPoWriMo Day 1.

\\\* Fold your hands in quiet contemplation, eyelids shut, pressed tightly together, a wall standing tall between the harsh light outside and the quiet darkness within. Breathe, inhale the scent of home, bread and wine, blended into the memories of your youth, when Faith, child-like, bubbled free. You who have wandered seven hills and seven rivers into a far country, drawn by the lure of freedom but now have had your eyes awakened seek redemption. This is what prayer is, quietly heeding the call of the divine

#48. Rememory

Wed, 27 Mar 2019 18:06:48 +0000

Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels, for The Sunday Muse Prompt #48.

\\\* Maybe it was the slant of the light streaming in, slicing through, as it were, the haze of yester-year’s detritus; the half-drawn blind like a mind stretched thin between leaving and returning, a face half-turned towards the memory of lost songs hovering just beyond the reach of a quivering tongue, and this present brooding. Maybe this is what the burden of life is. To carry, buried deep within one’s heart, the remains of the songs of one’s youth; until in a season of re-memory, they all come back.

4. Blessed Are Those Who Hunger and Thirst After Righteousness

Mon, 25 Mar 2019 05:50:48 +0000

The next Beatitude begs the question what is righteousness, and how can we hunger and thirst after it? The Lent Pilgrim devotionals over the past few days have highlighted a few dimensions of this.

First off from Romans 12:9-21 comes the idea of right behaviour, attitudes and actions which are in keeping with our Christian worldview. The implication here is that righteousness involves swimming against the flow, being truly counter-cultural in demonstrating love in spite of what moulds the wider world with its focus on personal attainment and looking out for number one seeks to press us in. The takeaway here is that we are to “overcome evil with good”(v21).

3. Blessed Are The Meek

Wed, 20 Mar 2019 17:35:31 +0000

The focus for the last five days has been the Third Beatitude, Blessed are the Meek. Of the many definitions the Strong’s bible dictionary gives to the Greek ‘ praus’, two stand out - a disposition of spirit in which we accept His[God’s] dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting and wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend them against injustice – which both speak to an acceptance of his Sovereignty. The Lent Pilgrim devotional chose to highlight other elements of this in the life of Jesus the quintessential meek one; his humility in not grasping equality with God (Phil 2:7) and playing the servant, washing his disciple’s feet (Jn 13:1-15).

2. Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 04:14:34 +0000

For Day 10 of The Church of England’s 40 Day Lent Pilgrim Journey

Read: Romans 8:35-39

This week, the focus has been on the second beatitude: Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Today’s reading sets out the wider framework within which we ought to view mourning (and all the things that can precipitate it in our lives). Nothing can separate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus.

Rebirth

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 06:00:11 +0000

Image Source, For The Sunday Muse Prompt #46.

\\\* Petal by petal, life returns to this frigid vista each one a delicate splash of colour against a canvas, bringing life, the way blood revivifies a face just in from the cold. From things once dead, life springs again, reborn.

Lent Pilgrim, Day 1: Begin Here

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 06:07:37 +0000

For Day 1 of The Church of England’s 40 Day Lent Pilgrim Journey Read: Matthew 5:1-10

Matthew 5: 1-10, or as more popularly known - The Sermon on the Mount - represents Jesus thoughts on eight ideas for an uncommon life. Thanks to the CoE’s Lent Pilgrim journey for Lent this year, I’ll be reading along and making notes on here as I can.

For the (like me) unobservant, Lent is the six week period leading to Easter celebrated by Christians of a more traditional bent, with the focus being a time of solemn reflection and preparation for marking the death and resurrection of Jesus at Easter.

Freedom

Tue, 05 Mar 2019 18:36:11 +0000

For Prompt #45 at The Sunday Muse. Image “Be Free” by Magic Love Crow.

\\\* Line by line the silhouette of an angel rises up, phoenix-like, in the space where the prophet’s finger parts the sand. This is what freedom is- the delirious joy of walking away from the baying crowd, the space between the lines as alive as the lines.

44

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 18:53:40 +0000

For The Sunday Muse Prompt #44 and some words from The Sunday Whirl Wordle #392. Image “Ireland” by Emily Soto, fashion photographer

\\\* Maybe it was the scent of roses- freshly cut, wafting in on the evening breeze that stole my attention; the jolt intruding the same way the reverb of a gentle tap interrupts a deep reverie, a dream receding as though it were a distant vista seen through the lens of a collapsing wormhole. Where cold, hard, and grey once reigned, a wreath of red leaves begins to spring, its colours a bright tide more alive now than it ever was.

Earth Child

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 11:40:10 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #43. Image Source.

\\\* Child of Mother Earth, dust, breath, fire, and water, from clay formed, stitched together by the finger of the Divine. You, who are a string stretched taut between the past and the future unbroken in the present, have simmered beneath the pressure of hell and high water, bearing the burden of a message preserved for you. But now like a bird set free, you must take wing and fly. I call you by your name, Alafiaoluwa, Be peace.

Becoming

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 04:07:27 +0000

Image: “War Horse and Peace Horse” by Sue Halstenberg. For The Sunday Muse #42.

\\\*

You and I like two fiery stars locked in the embrace of an eternal dance are becoming as one, our light growing in Coherence brighter now than it once was. Against the odds war and peace are finding common ground, making all the broken whole again.

Wet Weather Problems, Twittering about Tea and Loving at First Write

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 22:44:16 +0000

All it takes is an extended patch of wet and cold weather for things to descend into chaos on these islands, this latest batch of snow, heavy winds and cold weather culminating in flight cancellations and severe weather warnings amongst others. For the most part, I manage to survive - extra warm clothing, walking gingerly to and from work in the wet slush and almost continuous heating being the sum of the adjustments I have to make. It is at the weekend when the rooster comes home to roost in a manner of speaking. Having turned up at the airport for my 8.20pm flight down to Heathrow, delays till almost 11 pm are announced until at a few minutes before midnight we are advised the flight has been cancelled. Remarkably, everyone who should be on our flight is remarkably sanguine about it all, helped I suspect by the sense that the weather ‘gods’ have been at it again. Between the final announcement of delays and the flight being cancelled, we find (from Flight radar) that the ‘plane designated to carry us away to London has made several attempts to land at the ‘Deen but has failed due to fog rolling in. They eventually get diverted to Glasgow whilst we make an orderly line at the front desk to get our flights rebooked. I move my flight by a week and then head home, not before I find out that the woman in front of me in the queue has family in the same area of Surrey that I’m headed to, and very much like me, she makes this trip every two weeks so. Joking about being four-day spouses, does have a ring of truth to it though. For me, it offers evidence that this thing - having a foot in two different countries - isn’t exactly impossible to maintain, mild weather-induced irritation notwithstanding.

41.

Tue, 05 Feb 2019 17:59:08 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #41 and The Sunday Whirl Wordle 388. Image Source.

\\\* Green with a hint of yellow, the tender tendril pushes past the strictures of an empty bottle. Outside, the chill from snow piled high smothers everything, its weight like a bland, white blanket inhibit ing life.

The shy and the retiring do not inherit the delights of this benighted world, only the tough who blithely swipe away civility appear to win the trial of perception.

Freedom

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 11:14:33 +0000

For The Sunday Muse prompt #40 and The Sunday Whirl Wordle 388. In The Middle of Freedom, Image Source.

\\\* My fingers mould the pliant clay beneath the surface of this puddle into an image of a memory; each mound of earth rubbed round between my fingers a portion of a story emerging like birds set free from a gilded cage. The memory is a chain anchoring the fluid present to the stable past. It pulses like a thing that lives - somehow more alive with freedom than at first it would seem.

Call of the Wild

Tue, 22 Jan 2019 11:57:54 +0000

For The Sunday Muse #39 and Wordle 387 from The Sunday Whirl. Image Source.

\\\* Here in the shadow Of despair, loneliness Hangs in the air like A wet coat, the silence Like the weight of pebbles Beneath which which one sags, Broken at the knees.

Each step towards The distant light is a prayer Of repenting, for forgetting What love in the wild Feels like.

Step by step, walk after walk We are making this world Whole again, heeding the Inner call to become Wild and free again.

Full Circle

Sat, 19 Jan 2019 05:39:19 +0000

Dragging myself out of bed to begin the motions that will end in my lining up at the starting point of this week’s Aberdeen Parkrun, it strikes me that it is just over a month ago that I shipped myself and a couple of bags out of town for an extended holiday season. In between there have been pit stops in various parts of Surrey, East London, Chelmsford, Kent and an extended traipse through several towns within the Valencian Community. A second full week of work has beaten any remnant of festivity out of me, which heightened the sense of finality of the park run. I have come full circle, back to the grind of life. Wash, rinse, repeat. The run itself was hardly memorable - three minutes slower than my PB from last year putting the surfeit of Christmas pudding into perspective.

Piano

Tue, 15 Jan 2019 19:37:59 +0000

Image Source, for The Sunday Muse prompt #38. After Dan Howell’s Piano.

\\\*

Although her lithe and petite frame Shivers in the chill of the falling rain, Her fingers pound the piano’s keys Into submission to the rhythm of her will And with the libation of her song She sets us free to dance in the rain.

Riding shotgun, old things and a return to the reality of life

Sun, 13 Jan 2019 11:37:01 +0000

Between a dull headache, rheumy eyes, a rasping cough and my –at the best of times – dodgy night time vision, I suppose it was inevitable that I would ride shotgun for most of our time in Benidorm. Inevitable or not, that did little to settle the simmering discontent that gnawed at my insides each time we had to hop into the car and go somewhere. To compensate I offered directions, commented on lane switches and approaches to roundabouts and generally made myself as obnoxious as possible, particularly when other road users came close enough to see me sat in the other, non-driving seat. In my mind, that (ultimately useless endeavour) made it seem to others that I was in control, orchestrating things from behind the scene rather than being the mere passenger I was. Patriarchal tropes and stereotypes aside, it offered a front row seat from which to observe first-hand all the little discourtesies female drivers endure on the roads. Away from the immediacy of the moment, memories of Adam Gopnik’s New Yorker piece on the subject of learning to drive came to mind. Not that the fact that other men, far more intelligent than I, have struggled with this absolves me of blame here.

Guardian

Tue, 08 Jan 2019 11:13:38 +0000

“Guardian” by Chie Yoshii, for The Sunday Muse #37 and The Sunday Whirl Wordle 385 prompts:

\\\* She perches on your shoulder This invisible guardian of the night Her voice a quiet word Whispered in your ear Barely heard above the din The way text, lightly etched On a slab of stone would look In the shimmer of dusk.

A dream deferred cannot slip back Into a sleepless mind. Once a butterfly’s eyes Have seen the light of freedom; Once its kicks have set it free From the caul of the caterpillar It cannot become a larva again.

Horizons

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 11:27:48 +0000

For Sunday Muse #36 and The Sunday Whirl Wordle 384

\\\* The call of the future comes from across the border bringing hope to this poor, tired pilgrim- slouched beneath the weight of an open promise and the remains of failures past.

Tomorrow is uncertain, not promised but staying still wastes today so with intent I risk safety to seek the joy beyond the flood plains of seven rivers and the welcome of a home where hypocrisy is no more.

2019: The Year of Living Intentionally

Tue, 01 Jan 2019 19:42:44 +0000

\\\*

If I had to boil down the essence of the year of being thirty eight into one word, it would be coasting. It felt like I lurched from one crisis to the other, my actions driven more by the need to fight whatever fire glowed brightest than any form of plan or structure. As I stand here on the cusp of turning forty, I feel like something needs to change significantly - a fool at forty is a fool forever they say. That, and that t here is someone who is significantly affected by my actions only makes it more imperative that I get my SH*T together soon.

The 2019 Actions

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 07:24:38 +0000

List of running actions and habits for 2019 for tracking, derived from The Year of Living Intentionally:

Read The Hero With A Thousand Face
Utilise the hero’s journey in updating my Life Plan
Identify my band of friends and brothers and engage them individually once a month
Identify devotional to use for 2019 (should involve reading 10 or less verses):YouVersion selected
Track performance vs KPIs (various), report monthly, quarterly and annual
Find web filter app for Linux and install
Remove phone and laptop from bedroom
Run >=25km a week
Practice intermittent fasting
Eat <100g of carbs per day
Exercise daily (run or fitness blender)
Limit coffee intake to one cup per day (morning)
Explore options/ procure a blood pressure monitoring wearable
Save >= 10% of net earnings (less GAYE)
Restrict spend to <110% of budget
Clarify medium/long term work plans (data science, corrosion/materials/welding/inspection) and location
Update M&C roadmap, include gap analysis and closure plans (vs XoM competencies)
Complete Data science Data Scientist track course, decide on Udacity Nanodegree
Join a Data science for good meetup/ hackathon
Identify/ complete a creative non fiction writing/ blogging course
Learn to use kdenlive or other editing suite, also inkscape?
Build list of books to read/ themes for 2019
Read a chapter of a book per day
Write compassion kid once a quarter
Identify/ complete assertiveness training/ coaching
Find a mentor for work and personal life
Call siblings / in-laws once a month, call Dad weekly
Meet up with one of Rotimi, Deji A and Deji Ajayi once a month
build stock picking tool (strategy and triggers)
Identify app for tracking daily/weekly actions completed vs planned
Determine my target macros (fat, protein, carbs) and total calories

Christmas...

Tue, 25 Dec 2018 11:29:02 +0000

Snowed in on my first Aberdeen Christmas…

\\\*

As I write this I am slouched in a chair, head banging and eyes sore from the remnant of a cold, the only hint of Christmas out here being the podcast I am listening to, profering explanations for the Star of Bethlehem. In my head though, I am back to my first proper Aberdeen Christmas from which this picture comes, the enduring image being one of snow, bitter cold and loads of time for introspection. Many years ago, when I still was in children’s Sunday School in the University Chapel my family attended, the carol service and reeling off lengthy passages committed to memory were most looked forward to, alongside rice and plentiful chicken. At one of those, I played the Magi with Myrrh, in addition to the scripture memory. Since then, the story of the Magi who bearing gifts has always intrigued me, particularly as it relates to the moving star.

Wordle 382: About Town

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 09:33:38 +0000

Wordle 382:

\\\*

We brave the howl ing wind, wincing on the odd occasion when its icy fingers somehow reach within the folds of our coats to touch our necks. Along the snow covered streets, the children play, their shrieks of joy as they spin again and again piercing the air a hundred hundred times until they drop with exhaustion. From the coffee shop around the corner, different caramel drizzled drinks bring back their strength. This is the plan, to - with any luck - keep them so occupied that all they can do on the train home is sleep, so we get some peace and quiet.

My Year in Reading 2018

Tue, 18 Dec 2018 11:40:26 +0000

It is that time of the year when others - more (or better) read than I - share the highlights of their reading from the year. As with last year , I’ve commissioned myself -unbidden, besides perhaps a desire to record the key themes that drove and/or came out of my reading - to weigh in with the highlights of my own reading.So here goes.

Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury was all the rage on the airwaves at the turn of the year, which is how I ended up grabbing a copy for myself and digging in. As I plodded through it, I found the mix of fly-on-the-wall behind the scenes reporting and qualified conjecture curiously engaging, drawn by the lurid details behind public events and happenings in what at the time had been a Trump presidency that seemingly lurched from one PR disaster to the other. A few themes ran through Fire and Fury - the Trump team being surprised by the election win and thus poorly prepared to lead, the hold of Stephen Bannon and the alt-Right and infighting amongst various factions of the administration. Despite strenuous denials at the time, the events of the year - multiple firings, leaks, indictments, evidence of Russian activities and prison sentences - would seem to give credence to the viewpoint of the book, more so as the year draws to an end.

Wordle 381: Half Dead

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 11:01:24 +0000

For Wordle 381: --- Last night they gathered with intent, forty-eight memo s a lingering stench that could no longer be shrug ged away. Behind the bluster of “doing the right thing” was the lure of the key s to Number 10.

When the frame is badly broken can the picture be restored? Is the crime of lying word s so great that everything is irretrievably broken and no longer of use? Inside, the Wounded lived to fight another day; outside the circling hyenas beaten back for a season will return.

Almost The Season of Good Cheer

Tue, 11 Dec 2018 16:10:26 +0000

Although the lights have been on around town for a while now, only now with the office Christmas party a few days away has any sense of good cheer begun to rear its head. In addition to the bunting everywhere (and our very own special office Christmas tree), the subject of Christmas plans has now seeped into our coffee machine conversations, as has the buzz around the office secret Santa reveal. The Christmas party is definitely a highlight of the season, not least for the special costumes a certain someone breaks out year after year and the alcohol enabled banter which in my view tends to reveal the inner workings of peoples minds more often than not. On a personal note, I am looking forward to catching up with a couple of friends of mine ahead of Thursday, which means I’ll be out everyday from Tuesday till Friday when I hop on my flight down south to formally kick off my period of unplugging.

When I Still Don't Desire God...

Sat, 08 Dec 2018 11:41:22 +0000

For Day 4 and 5 of the WordPress Finding Everyday Inspiration Challenge

---

Struggling has hope of success, but forsaking the struggle does not

- John Piper

John Piper is perhaps most famous for his espousal of Christian Hedonism, the idea that ‘God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him’. One of the essential tenets of this is that we are designed to, and should indeed, desire God not only on the level of mental assent but also at a deeper heart, emotional level. The reality of most people of faith is that our hearts and heart connections to God wax and wane, the strength of our feelings never really existing continuously in that Christian Hedonist space.

Wordle 380

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 13:06:02 +0000

For Wordle 380:

---

This entity - bare arms rippling with intent- pulls victory out of thin air. Time and time again, the potential for losing one’s head in a flurry of jabs is overcome by the evidence of winning, the one thing missing in this me being a fear that flinches before the rolling fists land. This is how it ends- victory snatched from the claws of loss when we decide.

Things Liked: A List

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 18:57:28 +0000

---

Coffee, particularly when it is -5 deg C outside
Fried chicken, in all its various incarnations
Digging out the right answer to a particularly difficult question
Music, particularly ones which take me back memory lane
Handwritten notes (when received)

I Write Because...

Tue, 04 Dec 2018 19:57:30 +0000

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

---

One of my earliest memories of doing stuff with my mother is of a newspaper cutout, sheets of paper and her sitting beside me encouraging me to apply whatever iota of critical thinking I could summon to whatever was the task of the day, usually some Close Up essay competition or the other. I don’t recall us ever submitting any of those, the discipline of wrestling thoughts into semi-coherent arguments perhaps being the point of the entire exercise. That sense of writing as a vehicle for thinking aloud about a subject is one that has stayed with me over the years.

Remembering November

Tue, 04 Dec 2018 05:48:46 +0000

Key Events

Came through several important meetings at work with varying results:
- Area Review: One I could have done without but feedback was they went well.
- CCMT: One completed
Had my annual performance review. Feedback is that I need to improve my visibility. Personally, I feel like I need to decide what I want to do (stay/leave/move into data science?)
Was chased by the verification folks on some review items for a recently completed project. Personal follow up on welding and how pressure equipment design codes handle MDMTs required.
Attended a two day seminar on non-intrusive inspection. The data analysis section seemed particularly interesting, given my interests in data science/machine learning.

December Goals

31 Days of Journaling, Day 31: Wrapping Up

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 11:15:40 +0000

It has been a fascinating month going through the Art of Manliness Jump-start your Journaling 31 Day Challenge. I suppose the key is in the challenge bit because for what it is worth it wasn’t the easiest of things to complete. A few themes came at me time and time again, mainly related to my relationships with people and how much (or how little) I ave allowed others into my deepest space. That (friends and brothers, mentors, my romantic relationship and a few others) is one of the key focus areas for the next year, which I have captioned The Year of Living Intentionally.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 30: Thankful For...

Fri, 30 Nov 2018 20:03:58 +0000

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

---

For the Day 30 prompt. Thankful for:

Life: Given how many people I know who died during the course of the year, both young and old
S: Who chose to accept me, warts and all
T&M: Who continue to hold down the fort on the family front through what have sometimes been testing times.
Books: For the opportunity to slip into them away from the world
Friends: Who have stuck with me through the years
Work: Which in spite of a growing sense of dissatisfaction still pays the bills.
Travel: The chance to get away from it all from time to time.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 29: Something I am Proud Of

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 19:46:25 +0000

The prompt for Day 29 is to write about one thing that brings you great joy. Here goes.

---

A few years ago I would have said that my job was the one thing that gave me great joy, seeing as I felt very strongly that I was contributing and saw my future being very much intertwined with corrosion and materials. For a variety of reasons, including the sense of coasting that I have struggled with over the past year, it is beginning to feel like something I just do, that pays the bills.Trying to suss out the underlying reasons and getting back to a place of excitement about my current role (or something else) is something I have to focus on resolving in the new year!!!

31 Days of Journaling, Day 28: Tools of The Manly Life

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 18:39:38 +0000

Day 28 of the Art of Manliness 31 Days of Journaling Challenge is to gather my tools for a better life. Here goes:

A Mentor: One of the clear gaps I have identified from the past year has been a tendency to isolate myself from people, both at work and in my personal life, one of the impacts of which has been a lack of oversight of my decisions. Mentors, in both my personal and professional lives, are a priority for me over the next year. Two people, EM and CG, come to mind as options for both domains. Engaging them with a view to seeing if this is something they’d like to help me out with is something I have added to my list of things to explore and conclude over the next year.
A Mastermind Group: The AoM folks boil down a Mastermind group into a collection of similar irons which sharpen each other. Through my interactions with my friends in the corrosion business, I’d like to think the intent of this tool is being met already. Carefully selecting a mentor with corrosion expertise who also help provide coverage of this need, I believe.
A Pocket notebook: My evolving journaling practice is loosely aligned to Austin Kleon’s (which is in turn inspired by David Sedaris’s).
Discipline: All of the above require me to get off my backside and develop/ implement a number of habits consistently. Discipline is what will ensure I keep at these till they deliver value in my life. Enough self.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 27: My Place

Tue, 27 Nov 2018 18:11:11 +0000

The folk at AoM identify eight factors which feed into an assessment of the suitability of where one is at the moment. Given Aberdeen and Byfleet are currently it for me, a table with the pros and cons of each location seemed like a logical place to start. Here goes:

[gdoc key=“https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1IZdb5os_AQNEjVBwEAscnsPzq2u2uqcj11jiaMktMBQ/edit?usp=sharing”]

31 Days of Journaling, Day 24: Memento mori.

Sat, 24 Nov 2018 08:30:27 +0000

Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

–

Remember you will die…. Death puts everything into perspective, you can’t take anything away with you and once you’re dead you’re lost to everyone on this side of the divide. This begs the question of what I am living my life for, whose approval am I bending over backwards to please, against my principles. And perhaps most importantly, am I living my life in a way that makes sense in light of what I think is a non-physical reality on the other side?

31 Days of Journaling, Day 23: My Distractions

Fri, 23 Nov 2018 18:50:08 +0000

My distractions in no particular order:

My phone with what it drags in (Twitter, Instagram)
TV, particularly media consumption (Chicago PD, NCIS in all its guises and Chicago Med being a few of the things I burn hours watching)
My (paper) notebook, a source of distraction for all the times I rewrite my to do list and obsess over the perfect productivity system instead of just getting things done

To manage these I am trying to control access, by setting up my phone to automatically turn itself off at night and restart in the morning, only watching TV at weekends and not fussing over the quality of my to do list. One more on the watch list over the next few days/ weeks I guess…

31 Days of Journaling, Day 22: If I Won A (Small) Lottery

Thu, 22 Nov 2018 20:37:01 +0000

Playing football manager doesn’t count I suspect so I’ll have to go with the next thing which I am finding is playing around with data in Jupyter. This is something I am enjoying so much that I am seriously wondering if Corrosion & Materials remain a strong force in my future. Unfortunately I haven’t learned enough of the data science domain for it to be my main stay going forward, but if money were no object, that would be where I would go. That much is not uncertain.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 21: One small thing

Wed, 21 Nov 2018 17:32:45 +0000

Image Source: AskMen

A recurring theme on my yearly lists is to lose weight. Save for a big push in 2012/13 when I went from just under 100 kg to 82 kg, performance has been topsy-turvy. Things are decidedly far form ideal at the moment, seeing as I currently come in just under 94 kg at the moment. This all feeds the one small thing I want to focus on over the next few weeks, adding one push up a day to my morning routine. If all goes well, by the end of the year I should be up to 39 push ups each morning.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 20: On the past and Nostalgia

Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:23:28 +0000

The Young and the Eager, for the Day 20 prompt

---

The most recent time of my life I feel nostalgia for has to be my formative years in Eket, Nigeria. Hired fresh following a year of national service, with a starting salary that almost eclipsed my father’s; 30 plus years of teaching in a University notwithstanding. Prior to applying, interviewing and getting hired, getting into the software industry had been my realistic focus, driven by my interest and a sense that it was perhaps the most realistic option for me. The perception at the time was that to get a good job in Nigeria, one needed to be connected.; which I was not being from a minority ethnic group in a minority state.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 19: On Romance, A Reflection

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 19:10:44 +0000

For Day 19 of The Art of Manliness Journaling Prompts

–

The one romantic relationship I am in is with S, my wife of just over a year. As highlighted in my response to the Day 5 prompt, it has hardly being the smoothest of relationships, not helped by living apart and both being very busy people.

The one area I’d like to improve is improving the quality of our relationship primarily from the perspective of making clear to her that she is the priority in my life and that every other thing including work and sustenance lies in second place. To achieve this my intention is to communicate better with her, making the effort to stay in touch on a daily basis regardless of what pressures work and life pose. Fingers crossed.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 14: Something Consumed

Wed, 14 Nov 2018 20:37:02 +0000

[caption id=“attachment_178” align=“alignnone” width=“2976”]

For Day 14

Currently on my reading list is David Leeming’s tell all biography of James Baldwin. Whilst it is a hefty read - and I have spent the most of the last month plodding through it between doing life and work - a few themes have stood out, including the influence of church, the civil rights movement and his struggle with his sexuality.

The more I read this, the clearer just how great an intellect he was is under scored in my mind. I’ll never read Go Tell It On The Mountain or Giovanni’s Room the same way again.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 13: On My Mind, A Brain Dump

Tue, 13 Nov 2018 18:50:19 +0000

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

–

For Day 13 of the AoM 31 Days of Journaling Challenge; A Brain Dump using the GTD Trigger List.

Work Projects Started Not Completed
- DL Management Strategy
- OFC Transition
- CCMTs & CCMT Action Management
- UKCS TAR Work Programs
- T T-A Communication File Note
- Area Reviews
- S Area PW Failures RCFA
Work Projects That Need To Be Started
- CMS Year End Review
- T CCMT Preparation
- 2019 PoB Requirements for UKCS Projects
- 2018 Spend Reconciliation
- 2017/18 Appraisal
Personal Projects Started Not Completed
- archive.rustgeek.me relaunch
- News31 EoY Video Preparation
- News31 EoY Review for magazine
Personal Projects Yet To Start
- archive.rustgeek.me theme modifications
- 2019 objectives and planning
- Alicante Trip with S

31 Days of Journaling, Day 11: A Band of Brothers

Sun, 11 Nov 2018 10:14:40 +0000

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

---

For Day 11, the question is “Do you have a gang of friends who push and support you? If not, how could you make some good friends?” As with all the questions so far which have related to friends, I’ll have to hold my hand up again and say this is an area where significant improvement is required. That being said, I have a number of acquaintances in this city with whom I could be better engaged. A number of them are in the same season of life as I am which bodes well I suspect for our being able to band together for mutual support. First things first then, I’ll look to schedule a catchup with a couple of the guys, particularly D and R.

31 Days Of Journaling, Day 10: The Hero's Journey

Sat, 10 Nov 2018 03:05:46 +0000

Photo by Brett Patzke on Unsplash

---

The Hero’s Journey makes for interesting reading, showing how in 12 stages the boy becomes a man as he journeys through a life. Although based on myths, the underlying idea behind this framework is that these myths work because they represent how we understand how life happens to us. Vogler’s model, which the folk at AoM espouse, is an abridged version of the original in the Joseph Campbell book (The Hero with a Thousand Faces) and identifies 12 steps (from the Wikipedia page) as below:

31 Days Of Journaling, Day 9: My Day

Fri, 09 Nov 2018 11:47:37 +0000

Day 9: My Day

–

Up at 4.42 AM and unable to go back to sleep. Meetings with senior leadership at work on my mind.
Played around with some CSS for some modifications I have been mulling over for this blog
Finally out of bed at 6.00 AM to start prepping for work.
Off to work at 7.00 AM, glad for some respite from what has been terrible weather. Relief ends up short lived because it opens up again half way through.
Arrive at work wet and cold at about 7.30 AM.
Arrival routine kicks in; cup of coffee, read and respond to emails, catch up quickly with office mates.
First hour spent reading up on latest version of slide deck for meeting, then attending final dry run
In between, I sort out delivery of equipment required for a mobilisation offshore in two weeks.
Spend rest of the morning in chasing final bits of data for meeting.
Lunch @ 12 NOON, quick walk to Boots at Union Square for a sandwich, pepsi max, protein pot and two snack bars (meal deal)
Back at 12.30 PM for final check of meeting requirements and then into meeting.
Meeting from 1 to 3, a bit of a grilling but I feel like we do ok. A number of things to follow up on even though the consensus seems to be that it has been yet more talking shop. Hopefully real behavioural change kicks off after this.
After the high of the meeting, rest of the day is an anti-climax of sorts. catch up with R for the first time this week now that I can catch my breath.
Eventually it is 4.30 PM and home time. Walk home and arrive at 5.00PM
Dinner, more CSS modifications and then soon it is sleep time.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 8: On Work, A Timeline

Thu, 08 Nov 2018 21:08:18 +0000

For Day 8 of the AoM 31 Day Journaling Challenge: Reflect on Your Career.

–

Work for me has focused on materials, particularly ferrous ones, and how they perform in a variety of oil and gas environments, on two continents; Africa of my birth and Europe where I have spent the last few years. My journey began in December of 2003 with being hired straight out of University in 2003 as a trainee engineer through progressing via a number of roles in various aspects of the corrosion and materials discipline and eventually leaving in October of 2008, thanks to a mixture of burn out and the opportunity to return to the university for graduate studies. Since graduating in July of 2009, I’ve gotten back into the Corrosion & Materials field first with a service provider and latterly with an oil & gas production company where I am Corrosion & Materials Technical Authority.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 7: A Reflection

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 15:55:49 +0000

Image source: rawpixel @ unsplash

–

And so comes Day 7. Whilst those who believe in numerology think seven is the number of perfection, the past few days have been anything but perfect. What they have been though is an opportunity to flex thinking and writing muscles which I haven’t used in a while, which were to put it bluntly beginning to atrophy.

The general idea has been to try to block time out in the morning- between waking up, devotions and heading out to work- to pen a few words in response to the challenge of the day. There have been hits and misses along the way but thankfully I’ve managed to show up. Here’s to discipline winning through and birthing delight in the end.

31 Days Of Journaling, Day 6: Six Word Memoir

Tue, 06 Nov 2018 11:07:45 +0000

Photo by Tom Grimbert on Unsplash. For Day 6 of the AoM 31 Day Journaling Challenge.

–

My six word memoir:

Global Thinker, Local Contributor. Lived Intentionally.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 5: To S, A Letter

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:13:54 +0000

For the Day 5 prompt from AOM’s 31 Day Journaling Challenge.

---

It wasn’t love at first sight but a slow melding of hearts and mind into a coherent whole, a journey of a thousand miles started by a single step which very quickly became a leap of faith into the great unknown of the future.

Now with the benefit of a year behind us, it is clear that there was something here all along, gems hidden beneath the hard outer crust of life and all the bumps and scrapes it sent our ways. There is hope though, that bumps and all we will get there, somehow.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 3: One Thing

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 11:33:33 +0000

For the prompt for Day 3 of the 31 Day Journaling Challenge at The Art of Manliness

---

Alongside a regular practice, building a regular practice of prayer and bible study has been one of the things I have struggled most with over the years and which has come up again in this latest iteration of beginning again.

As for actual steps this time, I have bought a copy of 90 Days in Judges, Galatians and Ephesians by Tim Keller and Richard Coekin, a notebook and a pack of hibiscus tea, the intent being to make that part of a new morning routine in which I brew a cup of tea and settle in to read the assigned reading of the day and write notes in my mew black book. Two days in already, I hope I can make it to the 90 and then beyond.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 2: On Manliness

Fri, 02 Nov 2018 11:09:09 +0000

For the Day 2 prompt from The Art of Manliness’ Jumpstart Your Journaling 31 Day Challenge

---

One of the frameworks which has most defined my thinking about Manhood came to me many years ago in the form of an Al Mohler article on Boundless, in which he suggested 13 marks which defined mature manhood in his opinion. Given his background, that his views were based very squarely on Christian Conservative ideals was not surprising, and were very much aligned with my thoughts at the time, seeing I was (and perhaps still am) very much of a similar spiritual bent. Roles (husband, father), Responsibility, Leadership, morals and ethics and an ability to provide for a family all feature prominently in his piece, which morphed into a small book eventually.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 1: Why Journal?

Thu, 01 Nov 2018 11:45:57 +0000

Image Source: Heartwoods

It feels like a good time to try to develop a regular practice of journaling. For one there is the need to reflect properly on my latest attempt at rebooting, as well as the plethora of other more intelligent folk who think it is a good thing: David Sedaris, Austin Kleon, Michael Hyatt, Samuel Pepys, David Thoureau to name a few. The benefits are many, ranging from providing opportunities to reflect on life, a record of one’s day (both for the individual and for posterity) and also a source of material for future creative writing pursuits.

Ctrl +Alt+ Del

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 11:41:26 +0000

Maybe it is the shock of the delayed cognition of turning 39 - perilously close to the age of eternal foolishness - or the weariness of dealing on and off with death and grieving that births this feeling hovering over me that I can’t quite place. It is not entirely inscrutable: the little I understand of it suggests part of it is a heightened sense of my own fragility, the deaths - ranging from old classmates of mine to friends of my father’s - underscoring the fleeting nature of life and with it the sense of time speeding by. The other part that rears its head from the haze is the feeling of drifting, one day blurring into the next which is barely distinguishable from the one that follows it with the only discernible purpose being fighting whatever fire glows brightest both at work and in my personal life.

100 Days Of Ascent, 1 - Certitude

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 06:03:20 +0000

Psalm 120:1 I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.

For the first of these 100 Days of Ascent, it is perhaps fitting that the starting point is a place of certitude, a statement of fact: I call on the Lord and he answers me. No ifs, no buts, no maybes; just a clear statement of what is. The word translated call is the Old Hebrew qara, which carries the connotation of a loud, expressive sound, not a quiet muttering. The Lord is referred to by his name YHWH here, the independent, self existing proper name which I suppose speaks to his power, majesty and essence. This then is an interesting juxtaposition, a cry in a season of distress to the all powerful God, who in His answering deigns to respond to the cry of one puny human.

September

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 18:29:28 +0000

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---

In the end September sped past,

A different kind of the middle of nowhere

Thu, 20 Sep 2018 12:40:51 +0000

Image Source: Wikipedia

--- Nursing a double espresso in the Air France lounge at Charles De Gaulle, it’s the first time in a week that I get the chance to be by myself and reflect on what has been a whirlwind week. From being up at 5.00 am two Sundays ago (to catch an early flight westward from Heathrow to Abidjan via Paris), multiple flying stops to a number of offshore assets and then to this stop on the way back to normalcy, it has felt like a blur of perpetual motion. It has also, much against my natural bent, been a time spent overwhelmingly in the company of others - work colleagues, fellow travellers and the odd hustler looking to make a quick buck amongst others. With each change of location - Heathrow, Paris, Abidjan and offshore - there has been a progressive browning of my surroundings, one that means that by the time I arrive at the work site I am lost in a sea of similar faces. Not since my last job in this part of the world at the back end of 2008 have I found myself in this sort of surroundings; not in the minority but one face in a sea of similar faces.

A Sense of An Ending?

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 07:37:02 +0000

Spread out in various states of recline around a long table in the inner room of the Indian restaurant we have gathered in, I imagine we cast a scene not too dissimilar to [the last supper.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Supper_(Leonardo_da_Vinci) Not only are we thirteen (ignoring for a moment that S is barely 9 months old), it is a last supper of sorts, pulled together to celebrate the two J’s, in these their final days up here before they up sticks and move to study not too far off from ground zero in America’s bible belt. That we’ve plopped for Indian cuisine is perhaps a slight oddity given all thirteen of us have African roots. I suspect it is more indicative of the paucity of suitable eating options than adventure, which is why phones come out when it is time to order; google comes to the rescue. All that drags out the ordering process, which has a knock on effect on when we get our food.

Winging It

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 11:54:10 +0000

I am seating in a meeting, listening to the folk around the table drone on about some subject now lost to memory when it hits me – in the way I imagine an out of body experience might – just how much of what is often dressed as expert opinion is little more than strongly expressed opinion. Far from thumbing my nose down at others, it is a farce I very much consider myself as a contributor to. That sense of winging it, making things up as I go along, is one which has come to define the first half of the year for me; from the vagaries of the aforementioned work situation to the minutiae of doing life, spread as it has been between the grey, dull granite of the ‘Deen and the leafy, colour-suffused greenery of the Wey country.

On Repeat: Cover Me

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 19:34:57 +0000

Keep my name on your lips When you pray remember this: I need you to cover me

Cover Me, from the album Total Attention. Gospel Music Royalty right here, if I say so myself..

Begin Again

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 01:22:16 +0000

It feels as good a time as any to begin to think about beginning again, what with it being the start of the second half of the year (and there being no scientific basis for determining that this point on the earth’s arc around the sun is any more an origin than say 10.53 am on April the 16th). That it is bang in the middle of a particularly emotive season - bookended by H’s birthday and mine, with her passing and her interment looming large over that six week period - also adds to that sense of an ending, and a need to draw a line in the sand and begin again.

On Repeat: You Don't Miss A Thing

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 07:30:59 +0000

What a mystery That You notice me And in a crowd of ten thousand You don’t miss a thing

You Don’t Miss A Thing, from the Bethel Music album We Will Not Be Shaken

Pula Notes

Tue, 12 Jun 2018 12:04:35 +0000

There is something infinitely fascinating about a gaggle of Brits suddenly transposed from their dour, grey climes into warm, sunny 24- degree weather. Once the coats and jackets begin to lift, the noise levels increase. I suppose nothing says ’ your holiday begins now’ more succinctly than being hit by a wall of hot air. On this occasion though, before the holiday properly begins, we have to navigate the small matter of customs and passport control at Pula Airport. Thankfully, it is a lot less painful than before, thanks to new passports, and good timing - just before the rush of traditional holiday season.

Pula in Pictures

Tue, 12 Jun 2018 06:05:09 +0000

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3 Day Quote Challenge - 3

Sun, 20 May 2018 22:13:54 +0000

The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife (Luke 4:18–20).

3 Day Quote Challenge - 2

Sat, 19 May 2018 18:06:58 +0000

Image Source

Not all who wander are lost

For the second day of the challenge for which Mrs T nominated me, this J. R. R. Tolkien quote comes to mind. A line in a poem in the first volume of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, it refers to the Rangers who although often considered vagabonds are actually protectors and bulwarks against evil in Middle Earth.

For me it speaks of hope, a reminder that despite times and seasons in which life conspires to rock my faith and unresolved questions bubble to the surface, I am not lost. Just wondering, pondering and finding my way home in the end.

Liquid

Fri, 18 May 2018 19:11:16 +0000

Rovinj, Croatia. For the WordPress photo challenge prompt, Liquid

3 Day Quote Challenge - 1

Fri, 18 May 2018 17:09:15 +0000

Mrs T, she of the keen mind and boundless energy, nominated me for the 3 day quote challenge, the key requirements being:

Thank the person who nominated you. (Thanks Mrs T).
Post a quote each day, for 3 consecutive days and say why it appeals to you.
Nominate 3 different bloggers each day! 🙂

PS. As I am no longer as personally connected to tons of bloggers as I used to be, I’ve opted to fulfil items 1 & 2 only.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 27

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 18:37:33 +0000

For S. Six months.

Beneath the light of the autumn sun, perched on the edge of that seventh hill we quivered in the chill of the breeze, basking in the delight of a promise shared. I walked away with your name etched on my skin, a weight borne in my heart like an anchor in an uncertain storm. Moons ago there was trepidation there,but now like a once floundering ship finally headed home, there is a whole, where a hole once was.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 26

Thu, 26 Apr 2018 19:02:10 +0000

Sensed, for the Day 26 prompt. --- Sometimes joy is the rush of wind past skin, as one finds a rhythm in which feet pound pavements, the sight of the night sky tinged pink, like a splash of paint on a vast canvas. Sometimes joy is the scent of bread on a cold winter day, an invitation whispered on the wings of the wind to hunker down before a fire and be. Whether in the brush of soft breath on skin, the quiet reassurance of a song remembered, heard in the bottom of the soul, and the warmth of spices on the tongue, joy sometimes is, what is not uncertain is that home is there.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day24, An Elegy for the 'Feeble-minded'

Tue, 24 Apr 2018 18:05:07 +0000

Image by M.E. Grenander Department of Special Collections and Archives, University at Albany, SUNY (via NPR’s Hidden Brain Podcast), for the Day 24 prompt. Inspired by Emma, Carrie and Vivian’s stories.

--- They branded them the feeble minded, when all they were were the wronged ones.

Once a face begins to fade into the fog of otherness, doubt begins to assail the humanity of the other.

We wished we spoke for you when they came - before your lives were stashed behind that cordon of red brick

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 19

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 19:46:50 +0000

After the sun, for the Day 19 prompt. --- A lone man stands in front of the bus shelter, his bag slung across his shoulder, hands stuck deep in his pockets, staring out towards the square, at the space where the bus should be.Behind him, four bicycles lie in various states of harness. Before him, the square liessuffused with light. The calm, strange for this time of the day, is broken when as though dumped from an arriving train, a flood of people begins to traverse the square. After that comes the rain, after which it becomes clear that the quiet that came before was only the calm before the storm. Alone, his bag slung across his shoulder he stares. The square lies suffused with light. Calm, strange day. Then the rain.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 18

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 22:47:44 +0000

After Eduardo C. Corral’s Ceremonial, for the Day 18 prompt. --- Here I am lord, crouched behind the door of this sanctuary, wedding dress crammed into a closet, clenched fist clutching a rosary hoping the bite of its ragged edges will bring absolution for this fleeing. Like a dream hovering just beyond the reach of remembering the taste of sugared rancid sweat lingers. This war within, between the ghosts of things once thought and things now heard rages. These thick thighs and belly fat belie the assignation of beauty. Prayer cannot assuage this tumult, this self flagellation. I pinch and pull, cry myself hoarse In deliruim.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 16, Springing

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 20:22:11 +0000

Photo by Ruxandra Mateiu on Unsplash, for the Day 16 prompt. --- Where once we Wrapped ourselves in heavy Furs and coats

We now skip Free, drawn by the warmth of the Reborn sun.

The scent of Daffodils, chirp of spring birds Unfurls joy

Spring has sprung And like children, giddy with Joy, we play.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 15, Cry

Sun, 15 Apr 2018 22:29:51 +0000

– Cry for the riven country. For the ones for whom doom descended from the skies in Douma, spreading death in the wake of its yellow green tendrils.

Cry for the dead and the dying. For the ones culled from the living, whose blood, like a libation rejected pools at the altar of the sixth fleet.

The whine of drones, swish of tomahawks and boom of hellfires pounding earth into tired dust assail their ears, lighting up the night sky.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 12

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 19:33:49 +0000

A Haibun, for the Day Twelve prompt. --- The greyness subsumes everything, water filled skies allied to grey granite blocks defining the sky line. Sometimes, a mist will drift in from the sea, shrouding the city in a gloomy pall. The winds howl incessantly, its fingers reaching through every gap and every crack spreading chill and forcing a quickening of the footstep of all who brave the elements. The defining characteristic though is one of just getting on with it. Sometimes - for two days of summer as we say - the sun comes out.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 11

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 23:07:15 +0000

Image source: Huffington Post. For the Day 11 prompt. ---

Time tinges the Future with death and demise Certain end.

Each day is A war won by birthing the Self anew.

The claws of Time etch themselves in our skin Separating

Desire from Response,bending will to reality.

The world ends Not with a bang but with a Whimper*.

– \* T.S Elliot, The Hollow Men.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 10, Transubstantiation

Tue, 10 Apr 2018 16:46:33 +0000

Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash, for the Day 8 prompt, revisited.

--- Sanctify my body as I pray; with clasped hands, bowed head, kneeling here, before this altar of remembering.

I come for the broken bread, blessed, become shredded body. And wine in urn, become blood, spilt forty times but one.

Sin seethes beneath the surface of this body, this flesh from earth descended, unravelling like a thread roughly yanked from frayed yarn.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 8, Transubstantiation

Sun, 08 Apr 2018 22:33:37 +0000

Photo by Josh Applegate on Unsplash, for the Day 8 prompt.

--- With bowed heads and clasped hands we come In quiet supplication, knees bowed, flesh unstrung- Hearts humbled, at the feet of the priest For bread broken. Blessed. Becoming crackling body And wine. Slipped into silver urn. Spilt blood. Divine liquid.

Pange, lingua, gloriósi Córporis mystérium, Sanguinísque pretiósi,

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 7, Father

Sat, 07 Apr 2018 22:11:09 +0000

My father looms Like a colossus in my mind His voice, tinged with righteous anger The lyric of my powerless youth But now in my season of adulthood, I see him as he is, A man who tried his very best But was human too.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 6, For The Ones The Genes Took

Fri, 06 Apr 2018 22:17:45 +0000

For the ones the genes took. Photo by Wendy Scofield on Unsplash.

We prayed the Jinns would not take you That when the dust from your fighting feet, and the chill of the terror of the night would lift you would return in peace.

With our knees we ground a hole into the ground from constant supplication, in hope that you would be whole again but the genes would not let up

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 5, Foot loose

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 19:54:49 +0000

Image from Great Inspire, for the Day 5 prompt, only partially fulfilled. ---

Come let us dance our discordant thoughts to calmness, joined by the rhythm of our joyful hearts, and a song welling up from deep within.

Like a bird loosed from the tenuous grasp of gravity’s hold, let us float away. With the spring of defiant Freedom in our steps.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 4, What It Is

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 23:10:26 +0000

For the Day 4 Prompt, a challenge to describe an abstraction with concrete nouns. Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash --- What it is is something smouldering A tiny reed, slowly taking flame That perchance with time might Burst into a raging flame

What it is is a call and response A place remembered and returned to In a season of despair

In its light one sees the self in all its glory warts and all, and learns the painful truth that one is human too

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 3, Name Dropping

Tue, 03 Apr 2018 20:05:53 +0000

For the Day 3 prompt, A list poem of band names. I fear my choices betray my age (and my penchant for Christian Contemporary Music). Photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash. --- Six Pence None The Richer for you corrodes my conformity into discordant notes.

On Black Street s, six degrees north of Building 429 a Rush Of Fools Switches foot and stops to breathe again.

DC Talks to the Newsboys Ignoring Caedmon’s Call Until the Third Day when the Second Chapter Of Acts is unleashed.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 2, Home

Mon, 02 Apr 2018 20:02:34 +0000

Snowed in, somewhat. For the Day 2 prompt.

I ache in the winter when it rains. When the wind, like the fingers of a malevolent one probe beneath.

Deep down in a place sometimes lost where memories once lived, lies the linger of disquiet.For forgetting.

Some days the smell of fresh wood wafts in, borne as though on wings of the wind. Then, these bones - aching in the cold - rejoice.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 1, Begin Again

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 22:38:30 +0000

Off prompt for Day 1, Photo by Francesco Gallarotti on Unsplash --- Let us begin again at dawn. With the stirring songs of the Skylarks ringing in our ears, the dappled light of the rising sun, smell of moist earth and the distant lap of a gentle wave calling us. In the shadows of the stations, along this winding tortuous path we have climbed this mount, where like a seed once dead is reborn, we arise again.

#NaPoWriMo18

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 22:26:42 +0000

Offshore Nigeria, back in the day. For the prompt Rise/Set. --- It is now a mere three days to the start of National Poetry Month this year, three years since I last participated. Back then in addition to the prompts from the NaPoWriMo website, I had La Reine and Tolu for company, two poets who are far more deserving of the label. I plan on jumping in this year, the idea primarily being to participate, rather than hammer out high quality poetry. Fingers crossed.

Coming Up For Air

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 12:55:19 +0000

Photo by Zen Photographer on Unsplash

– Eat-sleep-work-walk; wash-rinse-repeat. This just about sums up the past six weeks for me, travel down south being one of the few brights spots in an otherwise humdrum existence. In that state the days blur into each other - the weekend when it comes offering scant relief - before being quickly subsumed by a new Monday morning and the start of a new cycle of drudgery. It is that time of the year when the final reports from last year are being reviewed and finishing touches made to the detailed plans for the new year’s work so there is little scope for escape.

#7 - Sweet

Thu, 15 Feb 2018 18:30:53 +0000

A throwback of sorts to Lagos in 2015 and catching up with D at Hans & Rene. For the prompt, Sweet.

Lent

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 18:56:43 +0000

Photo by Thuong Do on Unsplash

This year for lent, I am taking up the challenge from Desiring God to read through John Piper’s book, Fifty Reasons Jesus Came To Die. Whilst that may or may not be more spiritual than giving up caffeine, what is not in doubt is that it is firmly aligned with a few of the things I want to achieve this year, notably read more books, and developing a daily practice of prayer and bible study. At a chapter a day (and two on Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday), it shouldn’t be too big a strain on all the other reading I’m doing. Win-win? I’d say so!

#6 - Tour Guide

Fri, 09 Feb 2018 18:32:04 +0000

A few places around town, for the WordPress photo challenge, Tour Guide

#5 - Beloved

Thu, 01 Feb 2018 19:30:48 +0000

St Alban’s Cathedral, December 2016…. For the Word Press photo prompt, Beloved, for which there can really only be one response.

Church, In Three Things...

Tue, 30 Jan 2018 06:14:59 +0000

Photo by John Price on Unsplash

Three things over the weekend brought into relief why my relationship with church can sometimes feel conflicted; swinging from the deeply emotive to the somewhat irritating over the course of a few days.

First off was a truly immersive worship experience on Sunday morning, one in which the songs seemed God-sent especially for me, particularly Jaye Thomas’We Wait For You which is one of my favourites. Off the back of that, I went home and binged on worship music on Spotify.

#4 - Variations...

Thu, 25 Jan 2018 18:29:16 +0000

Hanging out with iron man, a few years ago in Manchester and then most recently in Marrakech.

For the prompt, Variations On A Theme.

Marrakesh

Tue, 23 Jan 2018 18:20:30 +0000

Marrakesh, with its ochre-coloured buildings, towering minarets and bustling souks is quickly becoming a distant memory, the joys and delights of roaming its streets being progressively replaced by a sense of having returned to drudgery. Although the three weeks of work I have gotten under my belt since my return have provided fertile ground for that feeling to fester, the seeds were sown in Marrakesh, everything from passport control and its lengthy queues, an hour and a half spent waiting for a bag to turn up and even more queues at the body scanner as we waited to exit the airport all setting the tone for what seemed like running a gauntlet. Once through all of that bedlam and outside the airport, the smell of smoke - somewhat like the linger of the remains of a thousand spit roasting fires - was a warm welcome of sorts.

Marrakesh Pictures

Tue, 23 Jan 2018 13:12:55 +0000

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#3 - Silence...

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 21:02:44 +0000

Silence, Solitude and some beach-side scholasticism

\\\* For the prompt, Silence.

#2 - Weathered

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 18:08:30 +0000

– Aberdeen’s City Centre is a panoply of old, weathered buildings, seasoned – as Yusef Komunyakaa so eloquently puts it in his poem, Ode To The Drum – by wind, dusk and sunlight. To that trio of elements, one would have to add snow and rain, given they are hardly ever in short supply in this corner of the world.

Before oil – and some would add, the EU – there was fishing and an entire industry of fish processing in and around the harbour area. These days, gleaming buildings - and car parks - share the skyline, a curious juxtaposition of old and new, brick and glass and perhaps the reinvention of a city.

2018: The Goals

Tue, 02 Jan 2018 11:54:00 +0000

It felt like I coasted through 2017 in many spheres of life with the main (only?) thing of significance that occurred being getting married to S in October. I’d like 2018 to be a vastly different one, filled with energy and intention and delivery. The seven focus areas in my life plan apply, with a few (Spiritual, Physical & Health, Financial and Personal Development) being focus areas.

A successful 2018 for me is one in which I:

My Year in Music, 2017

Thu, 28 Dec 2017 17:31:27 +0000

Although according to Spotify I spent the equivalent of 17 days - and then some - listening to music, no one song defined the year for me the way What A Beautiful Name It Is defined 2016, and the Nine Fridays of Summer. Of those that I listened to the most, Todd Dulaney’s Victory Belongs to Jesus, came closest for the sheer number of times I listened to it on repeat, but that lacked the personal connection that joining in with the crowd roaring the chorus to (in my opinion one of the songs of Hillsong Conference 2016) What A Beautiful Name It Is had.

The Year in Music

Thu, 28 Dec 2017 17:31:27 +0000

The Year in Reading

Tue, 26 Dec 2017 17:37:12 +0000

After many years of having thoroughly enjoyed the annual parade of opinions of books over at The Millions, I decided to have a go myself this year. Far from being a celebration of a year in which I read deeply and widely, it is a light reflection on all the things I managed to read this year. Enjoy! ---

Of the myriad of things I most deeply wanted to achieve this year, two loomed large in the personal development domain; to read more and write more, which was why I entered the year clutching my copy of Patty Dann’s The Butterfly Hours close to my chest. In my head, writing more - and by extension, better - required tools for tuning my craft, which was why this book, with its promise of personal memoir married to prompts, seemed the perfect fit. It helped that all nineteen reviews on Amazon were 5*. I did enjoy the book, albeit more an an example of easy reading memoir than a collection of prompts. I suspect that had a lot more to do with me than the book. If it is any consolation, I returned to it several times over the course of the year, it along with Dinty Moore’s Crafting The Personal Essay being fine examples of the sort of creative non-fiction I would like to churn out.

The Year in Reading 2017

Tue, 26 Dec 2017 17:37:12 +0000

WordPress Photo Challenge: Serene

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 18:37:29 +0000

The wee hours of the day and the first dusting of proper snow of the year here. For the Wordpress photo challenge, serene.

Paphos in Pictures

Sat, 18 Nov 2017 10:41:43 +0000

91. Lanarca Beach

92. Semi Sub -Lanarca

93. Church of St Lazarus

94. Paphos Castle

95. More Boats

96. Paphos Castle Ruins

97.Modified

98.Shore Line

99. Boats At The Harbour

100. Acrobat Dancers Aboard the Wave Dancer

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The Diary: The Paphos Files

Tue, 14 Nov 2017 11:02:08 +0000

The first bits of Cyprus we glimpsed as our flight began the descent towards Paphos were wind turbines slowly turning in what must have been a slight evening breeze, and houses which from the height looked like small, matchboxes pressed into the sides of the hilly terrain below us. Although it was only 5.20pm local time, it was quickly growing dark, which at first seemed odd until I realised just how much closer to the equator we were here than in England from where we were arriving. This trip to Cyprus was at the instance of S, ten days in Paphos being her idea of a honeymoon. The hope was to get the chance to catch our breaths after what had been a whirlwind three weeks in which we had managed to get hitched without losing our minds; the pressure of a large Nigerian wedding notwithstanding.

Wordpress Photo Challenge: Peek

Fri, 03 Nov 2017 12:48:39 +0000

The view that meets my eye on day 1 of 10 in Paphos, Cyprus. Truly looking forward to chilling and bonding with S, and catching my breath after what has been two weeks lived on the very edge of sanity (A Nigerian Wedding will do that to you).

--- For the Wordpress photo challenge, Peek.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Glow

Thu, 19 Oct 2017 17:57:12 +0000

More shimmer than glow but I suppose the view of the sea from the Beach Esplanade as I headed out to last Saturday’s Aberdeen Park Run counts. I am only five official runs in but it is very quickly becoming a key part of my Saturday mornings, when life allows me spend the weekend in the ‘Deen.

Next step the Baker Hughes 10k next year.

--- For the Wordpress Photo Challenge Prompt: Glow

Honour Thy Father

Tue, 17 Oct 2017 04:19:19 +0000

Image Source: (c)Nathan Anderson

–

It is to a stroke of fortune that I owe listening to the final episode of Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast three times over the last week. The first of the series of events which led to that was upgrading to iOs11 which messed up my podcasts, led me to seeking out Overcast as a replacement, and then having to decide on which ones to subscribe to or which to bin. That episode, Basement Tapes, explores a son’s reaction to finding out he has played a part in debunking to some of extent what has been the essence of his father’s work. The son, Robert Frantz is contacted out of the blue by a researcher, Chris Ramsden (Scientific American describes as the Indiana Jones of science), who is looking to acquire raw data from an experiment conducted by Robert’s father, Ivan, in Minnesota between 1968 and 1973. What results from Chris’s analysis of the data is a fundamental questioning of the conclusions of that study and the diet-heart hypothesis which claimed a linkage between a low saturated fat diet and the low blood cholesterol levels it produces and a reduction of the associated death rate (or adverse outcomes, as the study euphemistically puts it).

Wordpress Photo Challenge: Scale

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 11:26:31 +0000

Morning light, Man, Monument, Mansion. For the prompt scale.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Pedestrian

Fri, 06 Oct 2017 05:09:42 +0000

Lone walker in the distance, grey granite walls, a bit of wetness and a path I take on my way home everyday from work. Pedestrian, both in the sense of someone walking rather than driving or taking the bus and also the sense of something mundane, repeated and without excitement; Quotidian for what its worth.

– For the WordPress photo challenge, Pedestrian.

The Diary: On Flights, Music and The Muddled Lives Of Heroes

Wed, 04 Oct 2017 04:27:30 +0000

Between work and visits to family, I travel quite a fair bit by air each year. Already though, 2017 is on course to be my most airborne yet - love-hate relationship with flying notwithstanding. The thing with S has been a big part of that, more so over the last few weeks, five of the last six of which have been spent down south. In times like this, even I have to admit- however grudgingly - the usefulness of being able to just fly. I shudder to think of how many hours I would have spent on trains or coaches over the last few days if flying was not an option.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Windows

Thu, 28 Sep 2017 18:32:00 +0000

Somewhat fortuitously - long story for another day - I have somehow found myself working bang in the city centre for most of the last six years, the chief joys of which include being able to stroll leisurely into work in twenty minutes tops, and this - views of the harbour through the window of the canteen on the third floor.

Between the middle ship and the green ship, if you look hard enough you’ll see the remains of seagull poop. For now at least, these two are constants, ships and seagulls.

The S Files: Coming Up For Air

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 17:49:25 +0000

The morphing of what began as an interesting way to spend my summer Fridays last year into full scale wedding planning has left me feeling ragged and in need of a time out; the colours, people and costs involved being mind boggling for a bloke who has built the last few years of his life around his me time. Far from feeling like chickening out, I’m more grateful than miffed, seeing as becoming a husband and a father are key components of my life plan.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Layered

Thu, 21 Sep 2017 18:01:24 +0000

One Friday this summer, S and I decided dolphin watching would be a good thing to do, which was how we hopped into the car, drove to the Aberdeen harbour and paid for a harbour cruise. The dolphins had other plans - 92% chance or not - and we ended up not seeing any. We did get the joy of about an hour of cruising round the harbour along with other equally disappointed would be dolphin watchers. Good bonding though, I guess?

The Diary: Notes From The Northern Isles

Tue, 19 Sep 2017 12:30:42 +0000

What could have been. Image Source

---

It is in the middle of shovelling rice and chicken down my throat that just how similar to prison these cubby holes I pop into from time to time are. For one, there are a number of hoops to jump through to get here - in my case a 5.30am check-in followed by a fixed wing flight up to Scatsta in the Shetlands and then a further helicopter flight out to the platform - and the overwhelmingly maleness of everything, tattoos and all. There are also the shared rooms, the strict meal times and the restricted choices there tends to be for meals. The one statistic which goes against the prison narrative is perhaps the proportion of ethnic minorities in prison vis-a-vis the general population, but that is neither here nor there. And of course, we’re all out here by choice, getting paid a premium of sorts for the joy of being out here.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Waiting

Thu, 07 Sep 2017 05:35:17 +0000

The downside - or some might say it is an upside - of having family on three continents is I spend quite a bit of time in airports waiting; to board, for baggage, to be picked up or sometimes to catch my breath after what can sometimes be a battle to get through immigration and customs, no thanks to the power of my passport.

The interplay between costs, stopover lengths and distance sometimes mean that only the very earliest of flights are workable for me, which is how I ended up at the airport at about 6.00am on this day. All in a day’s worth of waiting, I guess.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Structure

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 17:00:15 +0000

Aberdeen’s Mercat Cross, which dates back to the 1600’s. A different sort of structure from the lines, freckles, and tiny hairs which were ostensibly the subject of this week’s photo challenge but a structure nonetheless; in that other concrete, physical constructed sense of the word.

– For the weekly photo challenge, Structure

Windows to The Sea

Thu, 24 Aug 2017 05:32:52 +0000

Although I am only three runs into my ParkRun ‘career’, the three blocks of granite on the grassy edge of the Beach Esplanade just before it turns West towards Kings Street have become a beacon of sorts. Situated around the 4.5k mark of the total 5k route they have very quickly come to represent the prospect of rest, relief and completion.

They also mark the halfway point of my morning runs, which again speaks to turning points and the call of home. Finding out they were donated to the city by a company I once worked for added a sense of serendipity to all of that.

Being Thirty-Eight

Tue, 15 Aug 2017 17:34:45 +0000

It feels intuitively like the last year was my shittiest one yet - pardon my french - the sense being that all of the metrics which I have typically measured myself by are well south of where they should be. Most obvious is the flab around my waist, undeniable evidence that the 92kg reading on my scale is as factual as can be. There are other things of course, not least the sense of listlessness, the feeling of drifting and the increasingly dispassionate nature of my spiritual practice . A year ago I was certain that the year of being thirty seven would be my best one; the S bounce being a big part of that assessment. Reality though has been a less certain, more topsy turvy version of what I wanted it to be.

Being Prodigal — An Origin Story of Sorts

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 12:12:00 +0000

Image: Rembrandt, The Return of the Prodigal Son (Source)–

I trace the beginnings of my faith journey to Easter of 1992, the enduring image of the day being standing alongside forty or so other people at the front of the bare, minimally decorated assembly hall of the College of Education Ekiadolor. I was there because I had been dragged there by my family; there being an Easter conference put on by the student Christian movement my parents spent a lot of their spare time supporting. Besides my irritation at being taken along — and thus losing the few days of freedom free from parental supervision — responding to the altar call along with the others whilst sobbing profusely is the only thing I remember from the events of the weekend. That would not be the last time I would respond to an altar call — or pray a similar prayer for that matter — but the sense of relief, joy and confidence about the future which followed that day is why I come back to that place as the definitive start of my spiritual journey, never mind the fact that it lasted for all of three weeks before the reality of life brought me down to earth. That personal connection was the final piece of the jigsaw that created a church bubble for me.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Bridge

Thu, 06 Jul 2017 17:42:42 +0000

A reminder of transitioning from full time study to full time employment at the back end of 2009, the Forth Road Bridge a symbol of hope of sorts on the journey from Newcastle in the North East of England to Aberdeen in the North East of Scotland for interviews.

In the end there would be a fair few trips but in the end with December came the set of interviews that led to a permanent move up North. The rest as they say is history.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Delta

Thu, 29 Jun 2017 16:46:36 +0000

In the plains around Dunnotar Castle, lies an irony of sorts. The weathered rocks, worn by time’s incessant nibbling into cliffs which fall precipitously to the sea, are the very reason why the ruins of the castle we have come to see remain; a symbol of stubborn, dogged near permanence against the odds. But in the receding tide, and the quickly darkening skies, there is transience.

Ying & Yang. Life. Balance.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Transient

Thu, 22 Jun 2017 23:26:04 +0000

The view out to sea, mid way through my morning run. For the prompt, Transient.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Evanescent

Fri, 26 May 2017 17:47:14 +0000

For the Wordpress Weekly Photo Challenge Prompt, Evanescent: ---

A curious combination of events - somehow in my early thirties becoming an insomniac and flexible start times at work - is how I manage to get the entire floor at work to myself for an hour on week days. Rather than stay awake in bed waiting for 8.00am, I figure it makes a lot more sense to use the morning hours up at work and free up my evenings.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Heritage

Thu, 18 May 2017 08:19:03 +0000

A few hundred years of Bini history on display a few thousand miles away in the National Museum of Scotland. #Heritage.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Reflecting

Thu, 11 May 2017 17:01:14 +0000

For the prompt, reflecting; which brings to mind the chill of a late (post Christmas) walk in Verulamium Park, a precursor to a splendid evening in St Albans spent with S. Of course, there were waffles and hot mugs of chocolate to warm us up afterwards. #Reflecting.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Danger

Wed, 03 May 2017 17:10:34 +0000

For the challenge, Danger. Rope Access inspections.. #Offshore

Weekly Photo Challenge - Wanderlust

Mon, 01 May 2017 17:07:22 +0000

For the Wordpress Photo Challenge, Wanderlust. St John’s, Newfoundland.

#24. The Garden Bridge Resolution

Fri, 28 Apr 2017 17:51:58 +0000

With several cost overruns, a muddled award process and potential conflicts of interest, L ondon’s Garden Bridge has finally being put out of its misery. #WhiteElephant

– Image Source

#23. The Traffic Cop Incongruity

Thu, 27 Apr 2017 17:56:47 +0000

In attempting to prevent mobile phone use behind the wheel, righteous indignation got the better of David, a traffic cop. He is now £1,610 lighter.

Image Source

#22. The Curious Case of the Unseen President

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 17:05:27 +0000

Speculations about the President’s health - fuelled by an extended medical leave and missed meetings - are now cleared up. He is to rule from home. #Resolved.

– Image Source: PM News Nigeria

#21. The Quintuplet Solution

Tue, 25 Apr 2017 17:31:56 +0000

Moved by the Uduehis’ quintuplet problem EFAB have delivered a three bedroom house, a promise made by the Federation’s Head of Service, ostensibly in faith.

#20. The Dr K Fallacy

Mon, 24 Apr 2017 13:00:49 +0000

Sex with Dr K failed to cure Patient A’s MS. A battle to keep his license is his reward for the ensuing six month affair.

#19. That Dino Memoir...

Sun, 23 Apr 2017 17:57:00 +0000

With a foreword written by the Nigerian Senate President who is in court on corruption related charges, Dino’s memoirs chronicle his life of fighting corruption.

#18. The Dangerous Wife Incongruity

Sat, 22 Apr 2017 15:19:22 +0000

In self defence, Ifeanyi chained his feisty wife Obiageli to his I-pass-my-neighbour overnight. Her strength did not however prevent him from beating her first.

#17. The Crathes Conclusion

Fri, 21 Apr 2017 17:52:16 +0000

The smell of old things. The past, present and future colliding in a cacophony of bagpipes and squealing children. Flower-speckled greenery. The colour of spring.

#16. The Quintuplet Problem

Wed, 19 Apr 2017 18:41:08 +0000

The blessing of the Lord maketh rich and adds no sorrow.. Blessed out of the blue with quintuplets, Imudia and Kemi might beg to disagree.

#15. The Mighty Militant Annihilation

Tue, 18 Apr 2017 17:59:33 +0000

A lack of endurance drew Endurance Ominisan to his demise at the hands of the Nigerian Police. Eleven days away from his girlfriend his limit.

#14: The Spontaneous Combustion Anomaly

Mon, 17 Apr 2017 19:36:40 +0000

Fresh from an Easter retreat, 100 Deeper Lifers escaped death by fire by the skin of their teeth; fire not from above but from within.

#13: For Easter, The Gospel in Twenty Five Words

Sun, 16 Apr 2017 18:34:57 +0000

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life --- John 3:16, KJV. Image Source

#12: Jesus of New Jersey

Sat, 15 Apr 2017 06:46:17 +0000

Fittingly at Easter, New Jersey’s Brian McDowell having been caught on video asking sexual favours of a friend blames it all on being like Jesus.

#11: The Drunken Love Peculiarity

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 23:03:20 +0000

Francis’ love for Ogechi stays strong even after thirteen years and a ménage à trois of sorts. The proof of his passion being drunken beatings.

#10: The Deep Learning AI Conundrum

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 18:37:40 +0000

Will Knight highlights the conundrum at the heart of deep learning AI - demonstrably good decisions, the inner workings of which are invisible to us. Fate?

#9: The Fact-Fiction Coalescence

Wed, 12 Apr 2017 16:58:16 +0000

Truth, Mark Twain said, is stranger than fiction. For Ernest and Heather Franklin of Guilford, fiction may have inspired truth, a little bit too much.

#8 - Justice, By Smart Phone

Tue, 11 Apr 2017 17:51:11 +0000

Camera phones and the internet fundamentally democratise the perception of justice. That, United Airlines have learnt, for the not inconsiderable price of a billion dollars.

--- Image Source: CNN

#7 - The Pain Realisation

Mon, 10 Apr 2017 19:15:28 +0000

Heather Lanier reflects on motherhood and the life altering changes a child with a disability brings.

Super babies don’t cry; wrestling pain makes us human.

#6: The Yawn - Intelligence Equivalency

Sun, 09 Apr 2017 19:55:54 +0000

The perfect excuse for letting rip with a big yawn in the middle of a boring work meeting; your above average intelligence. Or over familiarity.

Image Source: YawnTalking

#5 - The Yari Conjecture

Sat, 08 Apr 2017 20:24:54 +0000

Governor Yari’s explanation for the recent outbreak of Meningitis C in Nigeria? God sent it. 200 people have already got to ask Him why in person.

#4 - The Red Rum Fortuity

Fri, 07 Apr 2017 18:22:28 +0000

A man who rarely bets, Forty-three years, and a winning bet on Red Rum, all in the week before the Grand National returns. Fortuitous.

– Image Source: The Guardian

#3 - A Matter of Interpretation

Thu, 06 Apr 2017 17:26:36 +0000

Though Mo and P both pilfered stuff, their ends could not be more diverse. For his hard work he earned six strokes, For hers, apologies.

For Dame J and Mohammed who though both in possession of items of doubtful provenance, receive different rewards. Image Source Unsplash/Claire Anderson

#2 - The Chima Conundrum

Wed, 05 Apr 2017 19:54:26 +0000

For feisty bouts betwixt the sheets, Chima repays disdain. His heart, once broken by a buxom belle Still aches in pain for her delights.

– For Chima the six who wants a ten.

#1 - Bob, The Brave and Bold...

Tue, 04 Apr 2017 22:17:19 +0000

Bob the Brave would fight Brexit’s worthy cause. His Achilles Heel? An expired MOT

--- For Robert, who wants to take Spain on, on behalf of Gibraltar

Weekly Photo Challenge - Dense

Thu, 30 Mar 2017 16:54:04 +0000

An exploded view of a Formula One Racing Car, a memento from the weekend’s frolicking at the Mercedes-Benz World in Brooklands. For the prompt, dense.

On Repeat - Simplicity - Rend Collective

Sun, 26 Mar 2017 17:38:14 +0000

–

Currently on repeat, Simplicity, from the Album The Art of Celebration

I come with my broken song / To You the Perfect One / To worship You / In spirit and truth

Green, a collection

Thu, 23 Mar 2017 21:01:43 +0000

For the challenge, Green.

Springing... Bloom

Tue, 21 Mar 2017 07:27:43 +0000

Bang on time for the start of spring, the trees behind my house have sprouted flowers; a welcome change from the bare, gaunt visage which has greeted my eyes over the last few months. In its place is a splash of colour - bright pink - which is always welcome in our neck of the woods, known more for the ubiquity of grey granite and grey weather than anything else.

Atop

Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:07:11 +0000

Vienna, as seen from atop the Haus der Meeres, a repurposed Flak Tower. For the photo-challenge atop.

#NineFridaysOfSummer remembered.

A Theology of Work

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 19:23:58 +0000

Somewhat fortuitously I stumbled on a podcast by Redeemer Presbyterian’s Tim Keller, Four Ways the Gospel Transforms Work. It was one which, by including the subject of work and identity, took me one back to a couple of years ago when I reflected on the subject of being and identity.

Tim’s four points - not making work our identity, considering all work dignified because God does it through us, sticking to the moral compass of our worldview and not letting work become our master - provide a detailed

Wish

Fri, 10 Mar 2017 15:00:54 +0000

St Albans Cathedral, one December day. For the prompt, Wish:

For fulfilled desires, For the Loved Ones to return Again in peace. Wish.

The Small Light in Things

Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:36:31 +0000

I decided that for Lent this year I would give up caffeine, if starting almost a week after the properly faithful and switching to tea, topped up by the odd cup of decaf coffee count as giving up. No longer being part of any of the Orthodox traditions meant I failed to get the prompt I took for granted growing up, the ash crosses on foreheads that signalled Ash Wednesday, and the start of Lent. The point of Lent is spiritual - which giving up caffeine is not, at least on the surface - but I think there is a spiritual point in trying to best what has become a costly, insidious habit; proving to myself that coffee is not my master. Given how much my morning routine at work is related to taking time out to reflect at the start of the day with a cup of coffee in hand, it should be an interesting thirty-seven forty days. Hopefully it translates to better sleep - the data from my Fitbit will be the judge of that.

The Road Taken

Wed, 01 Mar 2017 21:02:53 +0000

Me, Benin City and an intense desire for fried chicken was how I ended up here; walking along Airport Road looking for a Chicken Republic. Having spotted it from the window of the speeding cab ferrying me from Ring Road to the neither-here-nor-there hotel I planned on sleeping over at on Ihama Road, I grossly underestimated the distance. That only became apparent once my cravings had gotten the better of me and I was back on the road, in the sweltering heat, plodding along whilst wondering what had gotten into my head.

Rhythmic

Wed, 22 Feb 2017 18:50:57 +0000

Image Credit Seb (Unsplash); for the prompt Rhythmic

– In the wake of the rising sun comes the call of dawn; a song drawn from the chirp of birds, the flutter of leaves, the creak of stirring bones and the lap of waves carried on the breath of the morning breeze.

Here on the edge of the morning in the quiescence of a lingering dream, the memory of the patter of your feet lives on. In the sumptuous symphony of nature’s call and response, the perfect fit of the lilt of your voice and the wind in the trees You return.

Against The Odds, A Haiku

Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:02:48 +0000

For the Photo Challenge, Against The Odds

– Sometimes, between a Rock and a hard place, beauty Springs. Against the odds.

With Grace

Thu, 09 Feb 2017 19:39:59 +0000

For the prompt, Criticise.

To chide with Grace and Encourage, not criticise Everyday I pray.

Shadow

Wed, 08 Feb 2017 21:56:41 +0000

Shadows at the Tate, for the prompt Shadow

Tremble

Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:33:29 +0000

Image Source: Worthy of Elegance (Unsplash); for the Daily Prompt, Tremble

– Inhale the scent of Mint, wafting up. Tremble as The warmth soothes your bones

Walking Away, Lovingly

Mon, 06 Feb 2017 17:27:50 +0000

Source: Chobir Dokan

For the prompt: Lovingly

The glint in her eye Belies the set of her jaw Lovingly, she leaves

Craft

Sun, 05 Feb 2017 05:51:39 +0000

Image Source: Mabel Amber (Unsplash); for the prompt, Craft

Without, bland and cold; Within, the Joy of crafting Brightly coloured things.

Clean

Sat, 04 Feb 2017 22:41:58 +0000

For the prompt, Clean

– With deep contrition I pour out a libation. I wish to be clean

One-Word Inspiration: Solitude

Fri, 03 Feb 2017 18:56:02 +0000

With a riot of Colour, the breaking dawn births Peaceful Solitude

For Day 3 of the Everyday Inspiration course, and the prompt Solitude

Loved Things, A Brain Dump of Sorts

Thu, 02 Feb 2017 06:31:43 +0000

Chilli flavoured plantain chips
Peri-peri chicken (having a cheeky Nandos is a thing, you know)
The scent of warm waffles
Friday nights (the prelude to the only truly quiet times I have)
Catch up TV (for how easy it makes indulging my fascination with Leroy Jethro Gibbs)
Postcards (sending and receiving them)
Running into old friends in the most unlikely of places.
When a shuffled playlist throws up a particularly apt song
Early morning runs by the beach
Scoring a late (winning) goal in Football Manager

Resist

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 22:31:14 +0000

Beach Boulevard, The ‘Deen; for the prompt, Resist

With fear in their wake, The crashing waves come ashore Shaken, I cower.

Pressure makes broken Things whole again, digging deep I resist in Hope

Wandering, Wondering, Pondering

Tue, 31 Jan 2017 08:09:58 +0000

A damp squib of a day is perhaps as good as any to wrap up January, given how off script the weather has been. It used to be that loads of snow and travel disruptions were par for the course for this time of the year; neither happened. Even the threat of thunder snow - cold air from Canada invading our own Northern skies - failed to materialise, a few inches of snow and gale force winds being the worst of the lot.

22. (Not) Crying Wolf

Wed, 25 Jan 2017 17:34:14 +0000

Source

There is a lot I enjoy about my work, not least being a purveyor of the somewhat esoteric knowledge of materials and how they perform in a variety of service environments.

Most of the time I am advising, providing insights into what types of degradation can occur, how likely it is to progress and what actions we should be taking to assure ourselves of the future integrity of the kit we look after.

21. Routine

Tue, 24 Jan 2017 11:55:17 +0000

Two mornings during a typical work week, I make a pit stop at the Starbucks in Union Square.

Over the course of the last year, it has become apparent that quite a few people have a similar routine. I now recognise — and share the odd nod with — an older gentleman who usually arrives at the same time I do and unfailingly buys an espresso machiato which he proceeds to nurse for all of thirty minutes before shooting off to what I assume must be work.

20. On Repeat — You Are My Life

Mon, 23 Jan 2017 19:23:19 +0000

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L6rkCmvP_o[/embed]

19. Waiting

Sat, 21 Jan 2017 08:12:55 +0000

… For the flight to Manchester that will leads to a train to Sheffield and then a weekend of meeting S.’s folk….

Then the Wait, actively I suppose, for time and life to work its magic and meld these two journeys — separate, distinct but converging — into a coherent whole…

#Hopeful

18. Bubbles

Fri, 20 Jan 2017 08:27:00 +0000

Source: Wallpaper.com

I come upon them suddenly as I emerge from the arch on Peacock’s Close onto the parking lot. I have my headphones in as always, humming under my breath as I drag myself home, the combination of the low light , my tiredness and that they have their backs to the road being the reasons why we startle each other.

What becomes obvious when I eventually take in the scene is that they — a woman and a girl I can only assume are mother and child — have been taking turns at blowing bubbles and squealing in delight as the light wind drives them away towards the road.

17. Anticlimax

Thu, 19 Jan 2017 17:34:52 +0000

The promised snowcaplyse never quite materialised. At its worst in my corner of the world, it deposited a layer of snow all around, the result of the intermittent dribbles of snow and gale force winds. The effect of that, and the small rise in temperatures followed by a freeze which thawed the snow for a bit, was to leave slippery layers of black ice on the pavements; treacherous for us runners and brisk walkers. A friend did fare slightly worse, the small matter of a fortuitous gap between her car and the one in front of her being the difference between safety and a minor crash when she skidded on a patch of black ice.

16. The Crux of The Matter

Wed, 18 Jan 2017 17:33:06 +0000

Love God. Love People. The End

15. Finding My Rhythm

Tue, 17 Jan 2017 17:59:02 +0000

Beach Boulevard, Aberdeen, 2016

One of the things I’m looking to achieve this year is to run a 10k race, which is why three to four times a week I grab my gear and hit the road. I use the MapMyRun app which paces me during the week from a leisurely 2k easy run on a Tuesday to a longer (now 5k+) run on the following Sunday.

As my run times improve and the distances lengthen, what I realise is that my natural predilection for just hitting go and running works fine for speed but works against my distance, as I am often far too winded to post a useful time once that initial burst of energy has fizzled out.

14. On Repeat — Fighting For You

Mon, 16 Jan 2017 17:45:36 +0000

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx-aJrd-gmo[/embed]

Start walking with your head held high
The future is bright, Heaven’s gates are open wide.
Every trouble that you ever walk through
Peace, my child, I am, I am fighting for you

Lyrics from the Tenth Avenue North Song ‘ Fighting For You’, from the 2016 album Followers. Apt, for a returning Prodigal of sorts…

13. Caught Up

Sun, 15 Jan 2017 15:34:49 +0000

A pop up on LinkedIn is how my memory of him gets reawakened. He, O, is an old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in a very long time, far longer than I care to admit.

It is with some trepidation I send a request to connect and a message. That gets accepted, following which we exchange a few messages, ending with obtaining his phone number.

A forty five minute conversation on the phone today reminds me of all what I have missed from that friendship. All things being equal we plan to catch up properly when next I am in London, wives, kids and all…

12. Snowcalypse

Sat, 14 Jan 2017 01:24:51 +0000

11. Incoming

Thu, 12 Jan 2017 20:22:00 +0000

Gale force winds, thunder and snow from Canada, a reminder to be thankful for the relatively mild winter we have had so far.

Given we had had quite a few days where we were warmer than London, I suppose a correction was always on the cards…

10. How To Be Human

Wed, 11 Jan 2017 20:28:37 +0000

Source: Crosswalk

Reach for the distant
Stars. Fall, but rise up again
Hoping is Human.

09. Epic Fail

Tue, 10 Jan 2017 20:14:15 +0000

Uneven shelf — BUT functional

The plan — if stopping at the B&M across town and picking up two wall mounted shelves and a spirit level with no inkling of what to do with either counts as one — was to spend the evening measuring, marking, drilling and putting up two shelves. The objective was to provide storage for books, a journal and my phone in a location accessible from my bed. I was certain it would be an absolute doodle, given my decent score in woodwork in my secondary school days, and my machine shop expertise during my undergrad.

08. Returning

Mon, 09 Jan 2017 18:41:02 +0000

The quietness of
Old haunts, to which one returns.
Wash, Rinse, Repeat. Life

07. Of Sons and Prodigals

Sun, 08 Jan 2017 18:03:22 +0000

Amidst the rolling, changing landscape that is my recollection of growing up, two things remain as immutable constants; the university communities I spent most of my growing years till turning seventeen and churches— searching, attending, serving in, and leaving them.

In my first memories of church, my father and I are in Benin City, at the Air Force officers christian fellowship. The University Chapel in the next town, Ekpoma, becomes church for the five or so years following our relocation; the desire being to bring both sides of the family together for good. The trigger for a change of state is, in my memory, an acrimonious debate about what direction to take the chapel in, one which leads to us joining up with a fledgling pentecostal startup in a city further north, eventually leading to us being foundation members of a branch of that church, when it rolls into our corner of the world.

06. Chilled

Sat, 07 Jan 2017 21:31:40 +0000

The Joy of slow days
Only broken by the need
To stretch my feet. Bliss

05. Lessons Learned

Fri, 06 Jan 2017 21:48:00 +0000

Image Source

A year ago if you asked me how well I enjoyed my own company, on a scale of 1 to 10 I would place myself somewhere between 9 and 9.5, the 0.5 my attempt at modesty. Pressed for evidence, I would point to the various things I did alone without so much as a flutter of an eyelid — Football Manager, a substantial list of feeds subscribed to in my Feedly, a number of series I watch obsessively and any number of books I have my nose in from time to time.

04. A Requiem for the Unseen

Thu, 05 Jan 2017 17:47:33 +0000

For the bank on the corner of King’s and Union which I pass everyday, only stopping to use its ATM on the odd occasion I need cash which has been closed for over a month. A closure I only noticed today because I needed cash.

Unseen.

03. On Writing and Life

Wed, 04 Jan 2017 19:47:08 +0000

The final days of the holidays- I am back at work on Friday — seem like a good time to put a dent in my reading plans for the year, which is how I finally get round to reading Ghana Must Go, an airport impulse buy whilst waiting to board a flight last summer.

A few pages in, I find myself wondering what the fuss about the book many years ago was about, steeling myself for a long, hard slog. By the time I am midway, I find myself pleasantly surprised by the pace and the sense of recognition its themes engender in me — grief, loss, growing up in an African home and the immigrant experience, being the chief ones.

02. On Insides and Outsides

Tue, 03 Jan 2017 12:02:52 +0000

Image Source

In keeping with one of my resolves this year to make a regular practice of prayer and bible reading a habit this year, I read the second chapter of Mark yesterday. In Mark’s account, Jesus forgives (and then heals) a paralysed man, calls and hangs out with Levi, a noted sinner and allows his disciples skip fasting, as well as pluck grain for nibbling on on the Sabbath. This leaves the establishment figures in a fit, their concern being that outward expressions of the law are being flouted by Jesus and his disciples.

01. On Resolutions

Mon, 02 Jan 2017 07:48:04 +0000

Image Source

As has been the case with every year since I can remember, I rang the new year in at church, taking the opportunity to reflect on 2016 and my plans for 2017 as the year turned.

As part of preparing for that, I took time out to reflect on where I was on achieving the wider goals that underpin the seven focus areas I have identified as part of my Life Plan. It is fair to say that it makes for gory reading, the details of which I’ll have to spare you. The cliff notes version is that, like everyone else, there are a few areas where I am pretty much where I want to be (Causes & Charity, Work & Career), a few where I have put in a decent shift (Financial, Physical & Health, People and Social) and a couple where I’ve gone backwards since the end of 2015 (Spiritual, Personal & Mental Development).

2017 - The Objectives

Sun, 01 Jan 2017 08:04:53 +0000

The following are what I consider my main focus areas and objectives for 2017, derived from the Life Plan. A number of these are long running things I have failed to resolve over the years. Here’s hoping 2017 is a much better year.

The Life Goals Restated for visibility: 1. Be the best husband, father, brother, son and friend that I can be 2. Excel in the Corrosion, Materials and Asset Integrity Engineering Discipline 3. Live in, and contribute to life in, a great church and a great city

A Good Year Of Sorts - A Playlist

Fri, 23 Dec 2016 13:00:59 +0000

It feels like the sort of thing that one knows intuitively; that music and memory are inextricably linked. Finding out that there is a whole slew of science (Google search) that supports this is intensely gratifying, in the same way I imagine that someone who stumbles on a hastily put together recipe for quick delicious food must feel if that recipe ends up being celebrated by what I suppose is the more discerning palate of a Gordon Ramsey or a Jamie Oliver. Time and time again when I reflect on a song from yesteryear, I find that the where, who, what and when are indistinguishable from the song of the time, particularly where it was a song that I had on repeat for what feels in retrospect like days on end.

2014 Reading

Thu, 15 Dec 2016 06:00:50 +0000

Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth - Warsan Shire
The Outsider - Albert Camus
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross - James Patterson
The Map of Love - Ahdaf Soueif
Finally Free: Fighting For Purity with the Power of Grace - Heath Lambert
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do and How To Change - Charles Duhigg
On Writing - Steven King
Love At First Click - Laurie Davis
The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
Everyday is for the thief- Teju Cole
On Beauty - Zadie Smith
Don’t Tell Mum I work on the Oil Rigs - Paul Carter
The Inheritance of Loss - Kiran Desai
Frank Sinatra Has A Cold: And Other Essays - Gay Talese
Another Man’s War - Barnaby Phillips
A Delicate Truth - John le Carré

2013 Reading

Thu, 15 Dec 2016 05:59:33 +0000

And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini
The Sound of Things Falling - Juan Gabriel Vasquez
Fine Boys - Eghosa Imasuen
The One: A Realistic Guide to Choosing Your Soul Mate - Ben Young & Sam Adams
Jesus, My Father, The CIA and Me: A Memoir of sorts - Ian Morgan Cron
Networking for people who hate networking - Devora Zack.
The Practice of the Presence of God - Brother Lawrence
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking - Susan Cain
The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy

Joy, Three Things

Wed, 30 Nov 2016 19:06:49 +0000

For S, and the Discover Challenge One-Two-Three

– How easy it is To laugh, to bask in the glow Of infectious Joy;

How the patter of Your feet, like the sound of rain On a sun-baked day

Brings relief, and hope That tomorrow will come in Peace, and you’ll return

A Question of Gaps

Fri, 25 Nov 2016 04:42:33 +0000

I am big on putting together grand plans, ones which go to a great level of details to spell out the things I want to do and achieve. Where things have fallen down over the past few years has been in the application; the hard, long slog that is the doing needed to bring the plans to fruition. It would appear that in this regard I am like most people, particularly as this relates to New Year’s resolutions. This gap - this disconnect between what I want to do and what actually happens - is most obvious in the area of my spiritual practice. As an example, getting to a place where a daily time of prayer and bible study is embedded in my daily routine is one of the key things I have wished for over the course of the last few years. This has tended to be more a source of frustration than inspiration in my case, especially as these failings drive a sense of cognitive dissonance.

On Being and Becoming: The Life Plan

Wed, 23 Nov 2016 21:10:14 +0000

Introduction Several times over the last couple of years, different pieces of my life plan have been documented; seven priorities, three life goals and five core values to name a few. A milestone birthday and the looming end to the year felt like triggers for a thorough review of these various bits and pieces, the objective being to meld these somewhat disparate attempts at building a roadmap for my life into a coherent whole.

About Town: Tech, Taxis and Traipsing About The Tate

Thu, 17 Nov 2016 22:53:26 +0000

A first taxi ride since July, occasioned by an urgent need to head out into the wider ‘Shire for work, is how I end up in slowly moving traffic on Guild Street one Tuesday morning. As we inch along towards the first set of traffic lights, the announcer on the radio points out what is bleeding obvious to us - that there are long tail backs on our favoured route. The taxi driver, fingers tapping on the steering wheel in that understatedly impatient way the young and restless have, gives things a few minutes before he fires up his TomTom device to assess what our routing options are. It turns out the longer route is the better one on this occasion - his device predicting that it is the quicker one by ten minutes. Being stuck with him, I shrug when he asks if I mind his taking the route. I don’t suppose I have a lot of choice, besides hopping out of his taxi and legging it, or calling off my trip entirely. Once we are out of the snarling traffic and heading out towrds my destination, the incessant tapping stops, all his nervous energy perhaps being dissipated by the manoveuring he has had to do to get us out of our spot of bother.

The Burden of Grief

Fri, 11 Nov 2016 22:42:56 +0000

One of the lingering effects of H’s passing is that four times a year, I go through a phase where I especially struggle for words to share with my father. Although triggered by four specific days – her birthday (the 8th of July), their wedding anniversary (the 11th of November), the day she passed (the 19th of July) and the day she was buried (the 8th of August) – these tend to be long drawn out affairs affecting the days leading up to and the days after these days. The struggle takes various forms primarily centred on whether to call my father or not, and on the days when I manage to call him, what to talk about - to keep things as normal as possible or broach the difficult subject of H. He and I have never been the best of conversationalists - we’re much too similar for that – but these days make that tenuous relationship an even more difficult one, so much so that on most of these days, I have opted for not calling him in the end.

On Life, and A Song...

Wed, 02 Nov 2016 18:30:48 +0000

For the Wordpress Discover Challenge Prompt: Song

- -

1995 was an interesting time to be young and Christian. DC Talk, The Newsboys and Audio Adrenaline were at various stages in their evolution from being the niche interest of church youth groups to becoming recognisable by mainstream music lovers. Seemingly out of the blue, Christian Contemporary Music was on its way to acquiring a sort of coolness that the work of the likes of Larry Norman and Rich Mullins had deserved but somehow never achieved. In my corner of the world, Hosanna Music’s body of work was the rave, a slew of live worship albums including a couple recorded in post apartheid South Africa (Tom Inglis’We Are One and Lionel Petersen’s Rejoice Africa) building on a collection that included several offerings from the likes of of Ron Kenoly, Don Moen, Bob Fitts and Randy Rothwell.

A New Beginning

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:06:14 +0000

Just under two weeks after S and I had out first serious spat, the subject of which was the pace or lack thereof of our thing, I ended up sat on a couch in Chelmsford, meeting her parents. The opportunity had come together very quickly, they being around and I being able to find a couple of days to make the trip to meet them.

The meeting itself felt at times like an interview, an inquisition and a friendly chat; good in the sense that it put into context the protective nature of the relationships S has with her wider family. On the way back, I broached the difficult 6-month, ‘Us’ question, her choice of answer - what do you think - suggesting that perhaps events had overtaken that by far. That I agree with. So here we are then - official, in a manner of speaking. Beginning again then, the first day of what I can only hope is a long, fruitful relationship :)

Always Returning

Tue, 25 Oct 2016 16:56:51 +0000

Reminded of this by Caitlin Kelly’s piece which in turn was inspired by Imbolo Mbue’s NY Times Essay - How To Vote As An Immigrant and a Citizen

The Diary: There or Thereabouts..

Sat, 22 Oct 2016 13:23:07 +0000

If you had asked me how my week was going at mid day on Tuesday, I suppose my answer would have been ’ shittier by the second’ or something similar. At the time I was running on a significant sleep deficit, had worn myself out by overthinking and consequently was just about tottering on the edge of imploding. The chief reasons for this state were a first spat with S, and a big work related meeting for which my preparations were going poorly. I did manage to survive till the end of the day, common sense -aided by a snickers bar - beginning to seep to the surface, adding some perspective.

Of Spats, and Lessons Learned

Tue, 18 Oct 2016 16:50:33 +0000

---

God has a sense of humour, that much I am convinced of. The most recent evidence of this has got to be firing up John Piper’s Daily Devotional, Solid Joys, to find out that today’s devotional had marriage firmly in its sights.

The humour was because S and I had just had our first spat of sorts the night before. At the nexus of this spat was a difference in opinion as to where we were on the relationship continuum. I was of the opinion that she needed to provide a response that defined what we were - being just really good friends or people in an active relationship that had marriage as it’s end goal. Her contention was that the fact that she gave up time and energy to meet up with me and do stuff suggested that there was firm interest on her part, but that time was required to get to a place where she could formally say ‘Yes’ to my entreaties.

In Five Years' Time...

Sun, 16 Oct 2016 06:16:04 +0000

Alongside the overarching life plan, and the 2017 goals (the Year of Being 37) here are the wider targets I’d like to be and to have achieved by 2020.

Spiritual
- Serve in a leadership capacity in my local church (FOL Aberdeen or elsewhere if God’s plan takes me outside Aberdeen over the next few years), primarily focused on teens, young adults and single men.
Physical & Health
- Eat using an Low Carb, High Fat model
- Weigh 80 (+/-2) kg and 20% body fat
- Run a mile at least three times a week
People & Socials
- Meet and marry a woman who makes me happy and who has life goals I can contribute to
Financial
- Grow net worth to > £500k
- Save 10% of net earnings year on year
Work and Career
- Be a regional Corrosion & Materials TA/Lead Engineer or equivalent at a Oil Major
Mental & Personal Development
- Start and significantly progress a Corrosion & Materials related PhD
- Publish a book of essays or poems
Causes & Charities
- Visit the kids I sponsor with Compassion UK and World Vision
- Add another two kids (co-sponsored with my family)

Of Beer, and the Return of the Frost

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 12:37:56 +0000

– For the first few days, all it is a mesh panel fence, one which cordons off the central area of Castlegate. Given my path to work takes me past it everyday, what it is or is not intrigues me to no end. By the time I am heading into work on Wednesday morning, its purpose becomes clear. It is a tent for staging Aberdeen’s version of Oktoberfest, the all out celebration of all things German beer related, which is back in the city between the 12th and the 16th. As I make my way back home just past 6.30 on Wednesday evening, I can just make out the silhouettes of people milling about inside it, music and the sounds of people having a good craik. For what it is worth, despite not being a beer person - my choice of beverage is a gin and tonic - the sneak preview tempts me a wee bit, but the need to keep a clear head for work the next day keeps me straight. I make a mental note to check again on Friday evening, if it still catches my fancy.

On Repeat: What A Beautiful Name It Is

Tue, 11 Oct 2016 20:23:44 +0000

Finally pre-ordered the Let There Be Light album from which one of my favourite songs from this year’s Hillsong Conference comes.

Ace!

Becoming British

Tue, 11 Oct 2016 18:56:01 +0000

I had the joy of receiving my permanent residence card today, a key milestone on a journey that began at the back end of 2008 with my decision to head back to grad school in Newcastle. At the time, staying back in the United Kingdom, and becoming British were not necessarily on the agenda, it was meant to be a gap year away from what had been a difficult year at work.

On My Return To the Middle of Nowhere

Sat, 08 Oct 2016 06:04:08 +0000

Back at the heliport for a trip offshore - the first time since March - it feels like a lifetime ago. The last time there was the pressure of my counterpart from the government regulator looking over my shoulder to deal with, this time the roles are reversed as I am the one asking questions of others. Waiting to be checked in, what strikes me is how empty the terminal looks. Spending one’s days in an office which was only recently re-stacked has somehow shielded me from the reality of just how much more reduced offshore activity has been over the last year.

Outer Layers: On Dressing in Four Objects

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 17:44:03 +0000

Source [ Afolabi Sotunde]. For the WordPress Discover Prompt, Outer Layers

--- When asked to describe my look, I tend to go for scruffy chic, this being my attempt to rationalise away what is my laissez-faire approach to dressing up. Left to my devices I default to four objects: jeans, a t-shirt, super comfy shoes and a pair of glasses which I am increasingly dependent on. On the occasions on which I have deviated from these, they have tended to be to the relative safety of a shirt and a blazer over jeans; the full shebang - a suit and a tie - only coming out for weddings (the last of which I agonised over before buying a new suit) and black tie dinners, which I tend to avoid. I suspect I have managed to get away with this, particularly at work, because I work in the Engineering field and have largely worked for employers where a formal dress code has never really been enforced.

About Town: Weird gifts, names and Children on Trains

Sat, 24 Sep 2016 06:44:20 +0000

Sometime ago, not without some misgivings I must add, I moved desks at work, all part of the new re-stacking policy designed around optimising our use of space. Following the move, I went from a desk which looked on into the central corridor with my computer facing away from the door to one where my view was the bus station across the road. The view was decidedly an upgrade, what came with it though was a sense of being blinded to people milling about behind me and coming in to meet me, particularly on the occasions when I have my head phones plugged in to maximise my concentration.

01 - Hike

Mon, 19 Sep 2016 20:14:47 +0000

For the prompt, Hike. Image Source

– Crisp air, fallen leaves- Crunched to dust by pounding feet, Delirious Joy. Hike

Of Times, Eyes and Seasons

Fri, 16 Sep 2016 20:45:00 +0000

Life - and time - have a penchant for throwing up surprises, ones which are sometimes welcome, but (perhaps more often than not?) unwelcome. Never more obvious is this than in the passage of time as measured by times, seasons and the lives of others. Somehow life in the moment, in the here and now - never seems to move at pace; only with the benefit of hindsight does the amount of time that has elapsed become obvious.

Here And Now...

Tue, 13 Sep 2016 17:54:46 +0000

For the Daily Post prompt Here and Now: \\\* Between Here and There One waits; Tomorrow’s Promise? Beginning again.

Lull...

Fri, 09 Sep 2016 03:13:33 +0000

[ Source]

In conversation with a gentleman I consider a mentor of sorts, the question about what was going on in my life at the moment got asked. After a few moments pause, I realised that the answer lay somewhere between ’nothing of note’ and ’normal'.

With the Summer Fridays out of the way, life is focused on fleshing out budgets for 2017 at work and waiting on a direction on a critical decision I have to make; somewhat of a lull compared to the frenetic pace of life over the past few months.

Things By Other Names

Tue, 06 Sep 2016 20:14:10 +0000

Over the weekend, after one of those marathon conversations with S which grew arms and legs, segueing from work related issues into past loves and twin boy names, I caught myself wondering what all this was.

Whilst I have gone out of my way to declare my intentions, I have neither had a yay or a nay back; she and I continuing to subsist in this fluid space where we are more than friends but without any labels to attach. Whilst the feeling is one of a strong mutual connection, part of me does ponder the why’s of the lack of black and white commitment to date…

Nine Fridays of Summer: All Good Things Come To An End

Fri, 02 Sep 2016 11:49:23 +0000

It feels like only like yesterday when the prospect of free Fridays had me all excited, wondering what I would do with myself. Somehow, nine Fridays have come and gone since then, with proper 5 day work weeks left to look forward to till the offices shut for Christmas in late December. These Summer Fridays were especially important to me being the very first ones I was entitled to, even though I had worked in the same team for almost five years.

Nine Fridays of Summer: Notes from Vienna

Tue, 30 Aug 2016 11:30:29 +0000

As far as first impressions go, my first ones of Vienna - shaped as they were by images seen from my window seat as my flight in from London drew to a close - were largely pleasant ones; green fields and the Danube snaking away into the distance being evocative of chilled weekends and evenings filled with coffee and cheese cake, not hard work. I suppose those who have to live and work out here must necessarily see the city differently, their perspectives being rightly more functional and less head-in-the-sand r omantic than mine. Over the course of the weekend, I would gain a more nuanced view of the city, the good significantly outweighing the bad and the ugly to such an extent that if a role worth which was worth my while came up, I wouldn’t think twice about upping sticks and moving permanently.

My Mosby Problem

Sat, 27 Aug 2016 17:52:56 +0000

In trying to understand how I end up in places like this far too often, I suddenly realise I may have a Mosby problem. Like him, the protagonist in How I Met Your Mother, I fall too hard too soon, focus on a single individual who I think is the one to the exclusion of all other potential options only to end up disappointed time and time again.

The simplest change I can implement - and the crassest from the looks of it - is to not pin my hopes on one person too early; keeping multiple options lined up such that when one opportunity fails to materialise, the cycle time between picking up with the next option is significantly reduced. This neither tastes nor sounds right but given the limited time one has left, it feels like the only choice. Sigh :(

Nine Fridays of Summer: Of Heat Waves, Vienna and A Perfect Month of Sorts

Fri, 26 Aug 2016 19:45:40 +0000

In what can only be incontrovertible evidence of Sod’s law, the air-conditioning at work chooses the worst week possible to break down in; a week of unseasonably warm August weather. Loads of meetings to attend, lunchtime walks and endless cups of water help ensure that I don’t end up too listless; not that broken air-conditioning ranks high on the list of life-threatening things humans have to deal with, or should be an excuse for reduced productivity.

All In

Mon, 22 Aug 2016 07:26:36 +0000

Almost three months to the day since I first met S, these arrived at hers with a note that tried to up the ante. The facts are what they are: I really really like her, we get along very well and I’d like to be a lot more than just friends with her, potentially the future Mrs S.

Her call now… #Waiting

Nine Fridays of Summer: The Not-Quite-A-Milestone-Birthday Edition

Fri, 19 Aug 2016 11:27:06 +0000

Months ago - when it became apparent that my birthday this year would fall on a work day - I made a mental note to take the day off. The act of making that official - signing into the absence management software we use at work and requesting the day off - never happened, which was how I ended up stuck behind my desk at work on the day. That the only slot for a meeting I had been trying to set up for months opened up on the day, the Friday before, didn’t help either.

Just Thinking: Esp 2 - Trusting God

Sun, 14 Aug 2016 19:45:02 +0000

https://soundcloud.com/jd-rambler/eps-2-trusting-god

–

From a reflection from a few weeks ago on Trusting God… Apt given where I am on the cusp of a not-quite milestone birthday

Nine Fridays of Summer: Coming Up For Air

Fri, 12 Aug 2016 21:15:14 +0000

It feels much longer than 12 days since I was last in London, mixing it with the young, free and saved at the Hillsong Europe conference but I suppose life and adulting can do that to you, particularly when that sometimes indecipherable line between work and life is crossed. Shed loads of emails and the cumulative effect of multiple weekends away finally caught up with me both in my work and personal lives, leaving me wondering if it was all worth it after all. All told, the amount of time I have spent scouring YouTube for snippets of the songs I heard, and the satisfaction going over pictures from that weekend still brings, suggests that there is still some lingering benefit.

Nine Fridays of Summer: London, Again.

Tue, 02 Aug 2016 12:15:58 +0000

I never cease to be amazed by how flights which ostensibly last an hour end up morphing into all day affairs, which leads me to think that flying is perhaps one of the greatest swindles on earth. In my experience, by the time one arrives at the airport, goes through security and then waits to board, the better part of two hours has very easily been burned. When the inner city travel requirements are tacked on, everything very easily rolls up to between three and four hours. On this occasion, my flight due to leave at 12.05 pm ends up delayed which is how it is well past 4.00 pm by the time my train rolls into Romford where I plan on basing myself on this trip. All that leaves me is time to get myself checked into my room, find a quick bite and then start heading back to the O2 Arena for the opening night of the Hillsong Conference Europe, which is my primary reason for this trip.

Just Thinking: Episode 1 - Introducing...

Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:45:04 +0000

https://soundcloud.com/jd-rambler/introducing-just-thinking-take-2

Introducing.. #JustThinking, a half playful, half serious brain dump on any of a number of things on my mind at any given time..

\* Backing Track credits: Smile (Instrumental) - Mosa/ One Speed Productions

Nine Fridays of Summer

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 21:59:45 +0000

For the first time in a very long time, I have four day work weeks to look forward to. The theory behind getting these nine Fridays off is that they have been earned by working an extra thirty minutes each work day. How productive those extra minutes have been remains to be seen, but I suspect their value to our employer lies more in promoting a sense of being cared for in us than anything more tangible. The first of these was spent down south, catching up with friends and reacquainting myself with Stratford and the Olympic park.

Nine Fridays of Summer: Sleepers, Stratford and basking in Sunshine

Tue, 19 Jul 2016 19:39:06 +0000

She is wolfing down a doughnut, cup of coffee in hand when I appear, trying to find my assigned seat. I feel like I have startled her somewhat, given how quickly she begins to organise the stuff she has all over the place. The sense of having intruded on a private, unguarded moment is made worse by finding my assigned seat is across from her, in seats so tight our feet play that dance of hide and seek beneath the table until we find a system that works.

About Town - Of Cabs and Conversations

Tue, 12 Jul 2016 20:55:47 +0000

Sometime last week, I found myself waiting in what was wet, grey and windy weather - typical summer fare for this part of the world - waiting for a taxi I had requested. As I had arrived downstairs a few minutes after 8.30 am when I had ordered the taxi for, I was a little uncertain as to if he had been and left or was yet to arrive. He turned up at 8.40 am, by which time I had come close to phoning the taxi company to confirm if I had missed my ride. The cab ride which followed - all 45 minutes of it - was spent in a gloomy silence, the tension in the taxi palpable. I’m sure he meant no ill, much as I didn’t either but something about the circumstances under which we met seemed to have soured our taxi driver-passenger relationship. That he had all sorts of weird tattoos on his arms, drove with only one hand on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead didn’t help break the ice either, I suspect.

Do You Remember...

Mon, 11 Jul 2016 20:51:29 +0000

David Dunn and Jordan Feliz cover Jarryd James’Do You Remember?.

#StumbledUpon

Of Things Around My Neck

Tue, 05 Jul 2016 19:48:32 +0000

It was with a mixture perhaps of Joy - Zadie Smith might disagree - and most certainly relief that I read the final lines of Kelly Sundberg’s It Will Look Like a Sunset, turned the page and realised I had finally finished reading my copy of The Best American Essays for 2015. It - the niggle at the back of my mind constantly reminding me I was yet to complete any of the books I’d started this year - had begun to feel like a thing around my neck. The 13 book target for the year - measly as it were - is now about as achievable as skiing in Kaduna, I suspect.

Spring Cleaning..

Thu, 30 Jun 2016 21:07:51 +0000

They say the good is the enemy of the best or something to that effect. I am learning that this also applies to people. The worst kind of those has to be those who are happy to take one’s time without making any commitments in return. Over the last few days of reflection it has become apparent that I have a number of those (as well as being that sort of friend to some other people also).

Matthew West - Mended

Wed, 29 Jun 2016 02:22:01 +0000

When you see broken beyond repair I see healing beyond belief When you see too far gone I see one step away from home

#Mended

Of Creatives and Their Work

Tue, 28 Jun 2016 16:30:42 +0000

The quote above had only been posted to a Whatsapp group I’m part of for all of an hour before it set off a firestorm. The bone of contention was Anais Nin’s body of work, (probably rightly) deemed inappropriate for the context in which it was posted (it’s a group filled with the super spiritual folk I serve alongside on my church’s tech and media team).

I made a spirited attempt at defending the value of her body of work - risque subject and bohemian lifestyle notwithstanding - a position which left me just short of getting my knuckles rapped. I started typing a lengthy response in the group but did the sensible thing and backed off, taking the time to ponder what I felt was a wider philosophical question: can an artist’s lifestyle be decoupled from their body of work? Or even certain elements of that body work?

The Leaving Kind...

Sat, 25 Jun 2016 10:07:30 +0000

Brexit - full

– It’s official, we’re the leaving kind after all. Voting last Thursday concluded with a 52% majority that Great Britain’s future path lay outside the EU framework, ending a 43-year association. The easy conclusion - particularly given how much the result has been affected by voted cast south of the Solway-Tweed line - is that insular England has held the Union hostage, but I suspect things are far more nuanced than that.

Father's Day Blues...

Sun, 19 Jun 2016 22:33:41 +0000

Last year, I went to a different church for Father’s Day, keen to avoid the big song and dance that usually ensues on the day at my regular one. Being a very single thirty-six year old bloke — a few months shy of turning thirty-seven — does put celebrations of fatherhood in perspective, the realisation being that that phase of life is at least eighteen months away for me.

I suppose rather than bemoan my fate, I can ask myself the difficult questions, trying to wrap my head around why I am still a single bloke. To be honest, the year of being thirty-five was the one in which I most seriously began to think and see myself as a father. Still though, a couple of liaisons down the road, the sense is very much one of getting to the party a tad late.

A Comedy of Errors

Thu, 16 Jun 2016 22:21:18 +0000

Image Source

Two weeks ago on a whim, I decided I would book a short trip away from the ‘Deen, to London. The plan was simple — fly out on Friday night after work, catch up with a few friends, particularly S, and then head back on Sunday night, with no one the wiser at work. At such short notice, British Airways to Heathrow was a non-starter, as was Flybe to London City. This left EasyJet to Luton or Gatwick as the only viable options. In the end, I settled for Luton, the weekend of the 10th of June being the best fit with friends and family. On the day, having packed my go to travel bag and done work, I hopped on to the 727 from the bus station next to work, arriving just past 6.00pm for what was meant to be a 7.35pm flight.

Remember...

Sun, 05 Jun 2016 11:16:20 +0000

On Rejection

Fri, 27 May 2016 07:30:18 +0000

Image Source

The conversation - when it happened - happened on a whim; as unplanned as could have been. The intent - to set up a face to face meeting later in the week - quickly snowballed into a full-on conversation about the direction the whole L thing was headed. As it turned out, it was headed nowhere.

It, the culmination of months of chasing, was about as anti-climactic as could be, worsened perhaps by how sure I thought I was that this was it. A lot of things sucked about it - not least the fact that the reasons offered; the uncertainty around work and the pressure from family all felt like convenient cop-outs. That my interest, made known clearly and consistently over the past few months ultimately counted for nothing felt like a slap in my face. The alternative too felt inferior. True he was probably a lot more heeled than I was, but there was baggage which I didn’t have which - given the seriousness with which L had seemed to chase this - should have counted for a lot more than it.

(Trusting) God's Design In Detours

Wed, 25 May 2016 06:23:22 +0000

From today’s John Piper Devo:

Have you ever wondered what God is doing while you are looking in the wrong place for something you lost and needed very badly? He knows exactly where it is, and he is letting you look in the wrong place….

And your agonizing, unplanned detour is not a waste — not if you look to the Lord for his unexpected work, and do what you must do in his name (Colossians 3:17). The Lord works for those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4).

A Question of Patience

Fri, 20 May 2016 07:30:20 +0000

Source

– A year ago if you had asked me if I thought I was a patient person, my unequivocal answer - given without so much as a batted eyelid - would have been that I thought I was; somewhere between 9 and 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10 if you had pressed me to quantify. The reality, grudgingly accepted after much soul searching a few weeks ago, is that I am not; a realisation that has left me second guessing the validity of all the other assumptions about myself I carry. The first seeds of doubt to assail my iron clad convictions were sown by an offhand comment by my friend M, the context being a decision she needed to make. As far as I was concerned, it was an open and shut case; she needed to put the poor sod she was stringing along - in my opinion - out of his misery. To her it was a lot more nuanced than that, for which I got the quip about being impatient (and unfeeling).

#OnRepeat: Where You Belong - Newboys

Mon, 16 May 2016 11:30:44 +0000

When you’re dull from all that glitters, when your thoughts have a hollow ring, when you can’t escape from the fact you are getting it wrong…

Where You Belong/ Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus - Newsboys [Spotify]

Of Weddings, Cheesecake and Paper Planes

Tue, 10 May 2016 20:58:31 +0000

The somewhat impromptu trip to Lagos was designed around three main objectives; making an appearance at a (self-proclaimed) protege’s wedding, dinner with the Lagos based elements of my old work crew and appeasing my father, who as early as New Year’s Day had begun to sound his dissatisfaction at my conspiring to avoid making what used to be an annual trip to Nigeria last year. For the wedding, the plan was to arrive at 10.00 am, 9.00 am invitation notwithstanding. That decision was one I rationalised away by assuming that as with all things Nigerian, a certain element of tardiness was expected. By the time I arrived at 10.30 am - sweating profusely following my ill thought out attempt to walk till I found a yellow cab - I was as undressed as I could be, my tie slackened to let what precious little fresh air there was get to my skin and my suit dispensed with. That meant I had to find somewhere to cool off for a few extra minutes and get my outfit put together again before popping into the venue. In the end I had to settle for the wing mirror on a parked car, studiously avoiding the gaze of the soldiers sat on the bench only a few feet away. Once in the building proper, I managed to find a seat next to a rotating fan to ease my pain.

On Lagos

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 12:19:27 +0000

That my relationship with Nigeria is somewhere between strained and non-existent is something I have made no bones about time and time again. That sense of lostness rather than easing with time has only become stronger, the key events in my life over the last few years - Newcastle, the bookend to a horrendous year of work and the somewhat forced decision to not return to the bedlam and then H - all chipping away at what bonds are left, leaving them increasingly tenuous.

#100 - How Do You Make Jeans in Jesus Name?

Mon, 11 Apr 2016 12:48:47 +0000

From this Louie Giglio message which I find myself returning to over and over again.

… You make the best jeans that can possibly be made. You don’t do any half hearted jeans. You don’t do any we’re-Christians-and-we-do-a-lot-of-stuff-half-hearted-jeans. You go make the most excellent jeans that you personally can muster, asking God to inspire this passion, inspire this vision, to awaken in you by the life of Jesus Christ amazing creativity. You work hard, you are diligent. If you are in fashion school you are in class; you’re paying attention, you’re absorbing. In your internship you’re humble not proud, you’re learning, not teaching, you’re absorbing everything you can. You’re serving in every way you can, taking every opportunity to get trained; to hone your skill, to develop your passion to get more experience so that you can do the very, very very best thing possible when you make your jeans.

#99 - On Repeat - Jordan Feliz - Never Too Far Gone

Sun, 10 Apr 2016 11:14:17 +0000

&nohtml5=False

--- There’s no distance too far, that I can’t reach you There’s no place that’s so dark, that I can’t find you

#Reassured

#98 - Party Time

Sat, 09 Apr 2016 16:39:02 +0000

Gate crashed. The perfect response to the wet, windy zero degree April weather. Bonus was getting to hang with the cousin and his family.

#Should.Do.More

#97 - In Conversation

Fri, 08 Apr 2016 18:49:51 +0000

On my return to my favourite eating-out place for the first time in just over a month, I find I am served by a face I don’t recognise. The accent is also one I can’t place which is why after I place my order, my curiosity gets the better of me. It turns out he’s from New Zealand - he describes his accent as having the Australian twang and the South African heft.

#96 - Forward Motion

Thu, 07 Apr 2016 18:53:14 +0000

From the movie Brooklyn, based on the book by Irish writer Colm Tóibín which I finally saw:

You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you. And one day, the sun will come out you might not even notice straight away-it’ll be that faint. And then you’ll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who’s only yours. And you’ll realize that this is where your life is.

#95 - On Faith, Certitude and Doubt

Wed, 06 Apr 2016 22:32:10 +0000

John Cornwell on the Importance of doubt:

Faith, like love, is seldom entirely constant; nor is it irrevocable.

More in a similar vein from Mike McHargue

#WakingUp

Wed, 06 Apr 2016 20:06:27 +0000

Quick plug for the3six5NG which returns on the 1st of June…

#94 - Thuli Zuma - Things

Tue, 05 Apr 2016 19:24:37 +0000

–

Trust yourself if you can…

HT - Kovie Parker

#93 - Fred Hammond - I Will Trust

Mon, 04 Apr 2016 22:43:54 +0000

#Pondering

#92 - Passion, Purpose and Designer Jeans

Sun, 03 Apr 2016 19:45:24 +0000

Louie Giglio on Col 3:17 amongst other things:

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him

#Mission

#91 - Grand Central

Sat, 02 Apr 2016 21:15:47 +0000

In which I make a quick dash to Birmingham and Grand Central…

#NewCity #Travel

#90 - Persevering..

Fri, 01 Apr 2016 21:33:28 +0000

We saw Eddie the Eagle today - after much planning, to-ing and fro-ing as has become the norm with us - as did a couple of people I know from work and church.. Cue a few awkward silences and dodgy moments where I wondered how much information to share as part of the customary introductions, given one of the work guys is the head honcho and this fluid undefined phase we are in…

Times, Seasons and A Hundred Juggled Things..

Fri, 01 Apr 2016 13:38:54 +0000

It feels like a trick of time, a sleight of hand drawn from the very top tier of a Houdini play book, but the facts – borne out by the calendar I have open in front of me, and the worn pages in the notebook I bought a couple of months ago - tell a different story; a record, as stark as it is of just how much time has passed in 2016 already.

#89 - Questions for the Universe, 3

Thu, 31 Mar 2016 15:25:03 +0000

If someone pops into your mind and then a few days later they email you out of the blue… Is the universe speaking, or are you - like all confused people - calling a coincidence an omen?

#Pondering

#88 - Happy Place

Wed, 30 Mar 2016 22:17:34 +0000

Over-priced perhaps but this is very quickly becoming my Happy Place where I pause briefly before heading into the bedlam of work…

#SteadyHabits

#87 - Redemption

Tue, 29 Mar 2016 23:02:30 +0000

What’s done is done. There is no need to speak with Edmond about his past.

From The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - which I just watched again :)

#BeginAgain

#86 - Of Hearts..

Mon, 28 Mar 2016 21:10:08 +0000

Listening a lot to this song, drawn in by all the hope it breathes…

#OnRepeat

#85 - Easter Sunday

Sun, 27 Mar 2016 19:10:58 +0000

From the Hillsong social media campaign to get people thinking about the wider import of Easter, allied to the clocks moving forward an hour overnight…

#CrossEqualsLove #HelloSpring

#84 - Airports..

Sat, 26 Mar 2016 23:32:33 +0000

Surely I am not alone in thinking that sometimes waiting in an airport with far too much time on one’s hand can often be the most stark reminder of aloneness…

#83 - Untitled

Fri, 25 Mar 2016 18:10:07 +0000

Harrow bound…. The view whilst I wait

#ConversationsWithMyself

#82- Killing Time...

Thu, 24 Mar 2016 21:07:35 +0000

Waiting for O to appear, twenty minutes after I arrive even though she had a seven minute heads up… I guess I’ll chalk that up as a learning experience…

#Learning

#81 - Winning

Wed, 23 Mar 2016 19:23:58 +0000

For Mag 309:

In the set of her shoulders and the glint in her eye- is the quiet reassurance of certitude; and of knowing.

That as certain as after day comes night, And with the wind comes chill, She wins…

In the end.

#80 - Suprised, Not

Tue, 22 Mar 2016 21:24:37 +0000

My attempt to surprise M , ruined by my reflection in the lift mirror.. Sigh…

#79 - Complicated...

Mon, 21 Mar 2016 18:02:08 +0000

By the paradox of choice…And the apparent surfeit of options, on the surface at least.. Looking closer though, what is not immediately obvious is that a lot of the things which seem like better options, greener grass, are a mere distraction. :(

#CrossRoads

#78 - Questions for the Universe 2 - Why Do We Love?

Sun, 20 Mar 2016 21:34:21 +0000

Short answer we don’t know… It sure does make us feel good about ourselves though…

#77 - On Repeat - Even Unto Death

Sat, 19 Mar 2016 22:54:50 +0000

Stumbled upon…

#EarWorm

#76 - Story of (Benin) City

Fri, 18 Mar 2016 22:12:05 +0000

From the Guardian series The Story Of Cities:

With its mathematical layout and earthworks longer than the Great Wall of China, Benin City was one of the best planned cities in the world when London was a place of ‘thievery and murder’. So why is nothing left?

Fascinating

#75- Waiting

Thu, 17 Mar 2016 15:03:58 +0000

#74 - The Middle of Nowhere

Wed, 16 Mar 2016 15:05:42 +0000

The view…

#73 - Worn

Tue, 15 Mar 2016 23:45:12 +0000

Worn.. Is how I feel following an 8 hour grilling by the regulator… I could use winning the lottery after all…

#72 - Quotable, On love and 'Rightness'...

Mon, 14 Mar 2016 08:38:00 +0000

Image Source: Challies.com

To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to loved and cared for by God the Father is greater- J.I. Packer

#Perspective

#71 - The Struggle

Sun, 13 Mar 2016 23:54:22 +0000

To not get ahead of oneself, to not be so swept up by the exhilaration of the moment that one loses sight of the bigger picture; that there is still a whole lot of knowing to yet do…

#HeartsOnSleeves

In Conversation...

Sun, 13 Mar 2016 13:59:24 +0000

Quick plug for my radio debut, in conversation with @1Life_Saved and @HibbardSam about his new-ish single “In The Waiting” and God, Music and doing life (amongst other things)..

Show goes out at 2000hrs GMT today (13/03). Listen in on TuneIn or via our Online Radio Player. You can also browse our archives here.

#Debut

#70 - The Gospel of Doubt

Sat, 12 Mar 2016 19:26:25 +0000

https://www.ted.com/talks/casey_gerald_the_gospel_of_doubt

Fascinating talk, key element of which for me is Casey’s search for meaning and purpose… In the end we all seek a wider, over arching meeting to life I guess, some of us still think we find it within the framework of a Judeo-Christian worldview..

#69 - Notes to Self

Fri, 11 Mar 2016 23:08:27 +0000

[tweet https://twitter.com/EugeneCho/status/708128160949243904 ]

#NoteToSelf

#68 - On Waiting

Thu, 10 Mar 2016 23:18:52 +0000

A year ago if you asked me how good I was with waiting, I suspect without giving it much thought I would have gone for somewhere between 9 and 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. What I am finding out to my chagrin, prompted by a few events and a conversation with my friend M (in which I get the blame for the unravelling of a certain situation) is that I suck at this waiting business.

#67 - What A Heart Is Beating For

Wed, 09 Mar 2016 22:43:35 +0000

---

Why be afraid, no reason to hide Take the chance, put it all on the line Draw in a deep breath and throw open the door ‘Cause that’s what a heart is beating for

#66 - Borrowed

Tue, 08 Mar 2016 20:59:19 +0000

Borrowed @ MindBodyGreen

#NoteToSelf

#65 - Dear Future Me

Mon, 07 Mar 2016 17:33:10 +0000

For seasons of uncertainty

Dear Future Me

Mon, 07 Mar 2016 13:08:02 +0000

For Mag 308:

Dear Future Me, I wanted to tell you that whatever happens tonight- on the corner of L and Ninth; you will survive.

That this too, this sense Of worry wrapping itself like a wreath around your windpipe will pass, whether lost in the exhilaration of assent; or obliterated in the loud clang of a cataclysmic bang.

That this sense of free fall, of uncertainty gnawing at your insides will give way to the clarity of certitude; that the restful stillness of truth will triumph over the ambivalence of baseless hope.

#64 - Certainly Uncertain

Sun, 06 Mar 2016 22:03:03 +0000

Spent the entire weekend building up to a conversation with L. The arguments and counter arguments were all laid out in my head, in my very worst Ted Mosby imitation. Here on the cusp of the actual meeting, it doesn’t feel so cut and dried in my head anymore, which may or may not be a good thing… I guess I’ll know soon enough how it goes..

#Pensive

#63 - Even Now - Philippa Hanna

Sat, 05 Mar 2016 22:45:50 +0000

Stumbled on a Philippa Hanna interview on TBN UK earlier today, which led me to YouTube and a few hours burned.. The linked song is her late 2015 single, Even Now

#StumbledUpon

#62 - Bonding...

Fri, 04 Mar 2016 23:26:30 +0000

In-between solving a convoluted case in the last episode of NCIS: New Orleans, “Radio Silence” (Season 2, Episode 17), Dwayne Pride has to deal with his daughter’s angst at the pressure she feels he’s put on her to explore her musical talents. In the final scene they reach a resolution of sorts agreeing to finish the semester before revisiting her decision to drop out of music school, and then play out to “Under Pressure”. I hope I can be there for my (future) daughter in the same way, being able to relate and resolve any issues she has…

#61 - The February Wrap - Of Life, and Steady Habits

Thu, 03 Mar 2016 22:16:36 +0000

What has quickly become apparent – as this year of living earnestly evolves - is that far from being the wild, giddy, excited life I half expected when my thoughts began to initially crystallise, it is one that is lived in increments; steady habits being the under-girding behaviours which hold everything together. That sense – of slow, steady if ponderous, progress – is one that has been consistently underlined and reinforced all year; by the book I am currently reading (Donald Whitney’s Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life), the ongoing series at Passion City on Habits and various conversations, the last of which occurred over the weekend with the older guy friend/ mentor O. The general gist of the book and the series is that change is only possible if there is an overarching vision of the future that frames the daily actions that we take, providing an incentive that keeps us plugging away at them.

#60 - Questions for the Universe

Wed, 02 Mar 2016 23:28:37 +0000

#Sleepless

#59 - Mosbytis

Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:09:18 +0000

Spent the bulk of the weekend re-watching Season 9 of How I Met Your Mother, complete with its unsatisfactory ending in which Ted shoots off to Robin’s after all she put him through. Tsk!!! Tsk!!! Before that though, Ted’s summation of his 9 year journey to finding Tracy did resonate with my inner suppressed romantic:

It was at times a long, difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew… I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5:00 a.m. Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon, through every speed bump. Every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was look at her and thank God, thank every god there is, or ever was, or will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I can possibly thank that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, and that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.

The Perfect Year in Twelve Things

Tue, 01 Mar 2016 04:41:07 +0000

The Big Rocks

Grow in Grace and Godliness; as evidenced by beating a number of bad habits, and living a life of contemplative prayer and worship.
Find, woo and marry the woman of my dreams;
Deliver at work in quantity and quality; confirmation and a promotion to Senior Engineer
Shed the flab, get back down to <80kg

2016 Objectives

Develop a steady practice of (contemplative) prayer and bible study(Target >75% of days)
Reduce year ending spending versus 2015 (Target 15% reduction)
Write more (Target average 1 post a week, write for >30 consecutive days)
Migrate diet over to an LCHF/ Whole30 model (30 consecutive days)
Journal more (Target three times a week)
Read for 2 hours every day (Target – 13 books for FY2016)
Fast once a week till 4pm (Target 40 completions)
Start the day with a litre of water (Target >75% of days)
Reduce social media usage (Target complete >30 consecutive days)
Check in with someone in my life for 30 days
Write a thankful post for 30 days

More here

#58 - Worn

Mon, 29 Feb 2016 23:11:42 +0000

Finding myself listening to a lot of songs which are tied to a certain time/ phase in my life… Worn from that darned winter of 2012.. Sigh..

---

Let me see redemption win Let me know the struggle ends That you can mend a heart That’s frail and torn I wanna know a song can rise From the ashes of a broken life And all that’s dead inside can be reborn Cause I’m worn

#57 - When The Rain Comes

Sun, 28 Feb 2016 23:15:08 +0000

–

I can’t stop the rain, but I will hold you ’til it goes away..

#Comforting

#56- The View

Sat, 27 Feb 2016 23:18:54 +0000

Blue vans mean business, apparently…

#55 - Wandering, Pondering

Fri, 26 Feb 2016 23:21:00 +0000

#Hope

#54 - Sated

Thu, 25 Feb 2016 22:37:11 +0000

We meet up - at the third time of trying - at the only place there is of note, Union Square. After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, we settle for TGIF, the steak, rib and shrimp meal the perfect counterpoint to the 46 days of minimal feeding we have gotten through. There is a lot to catch up on - work, women and all the other things single, semi-bored Aberdonian chaps whine about. When we agree to head our separate ways at 9.30pm, it is having been fully sated, all caught up on nine month worth of life, and with an agreement in principle to make this a monthly affair..

#53 - Melt Down

Wed, 24 Feb 2016 21:03:16 +0000

Between my low carb diet, pressure at work and precious little sleep (I’ve averaged between 4 and 5 hours over the last two weeks), it felt like i’d hit rock bottom today; so much so I went to the African shop, ordered up a big loaf of bread and Nido milk, which those who know me well know is my absolute special brand of poison. That, and ending up in front of my TV watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother, appeared to make the world sane and simple again…

On Repeat - God's Favor - Donald Lawrence

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 21:46:35 +0000

Hold On, Be Strong… God’s got the final say

#OnRepeat

#52 - Not Yet Uhuru

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 21:36:20 +0000

When you run into the someone you swore you’d gotten out of your system, but you find that months after the fact there is still that twinge of jealousy…

#NotYetUhuru

#51 - Beautiful Things - Gungor

Mon, 22 Feb 2016 20:17:53 +0000

Reminded of how much I heart Gungor by a conversation…

#EarWorm

#50 - Debut

Sun, 21 Feb 2016 23:30:06 +0000

On the day this challenge hit the halfway mark, I ended up spending the bulk of my Sunday evening prepping for, and interviewing, the truly delightful Sam Hibbard; an Aberdeen based Christian singer/song writer whose new single In The Waiting, dropped a couple of weeks ago. I definitely got the sense the wee lad - he’s still not 18 - is going places. It was great to get to chat God, Music, Youth and just catch up in general. First time behind the mics for me too, looking forward to more of these this year. I might have to come up with a funky DJ name if this continues.. :)

#49 - Turn Up

Sat, 20 Feb 2016 23:15:15 +0000

Dinner table…

#48 - Notes to Revellers

Fri, 19 Feb 2016 23:30:40 +0000

A sign which used to be posted in the window of the pub on the corner of Exchequer Row and Union. All that has been stripped and is being turned into luxury apartments.

#FridayNightThrowBacks

#47 - Ambling

Thu, 18 Feb 2016 22:20:03 +0000

When I first began to take time out during my lunch breaks to walk about, there was nothing intentional about it - as far as I can remember. It was one of those things which - having happened a few times - felt so good it became self-catalysing, etching itself into my daily routine; becoming as integral a habit as could be. In looking back at my step logs – I am one of those people who wears a wrist band for tracking steps, the Fitbit Charge HR in black being my very own brand of poison in that regard - it appeared to coincide broadly with an office move at work, one which brought with it its own issues. I claim no causal linkages here, I must quickly add.

#46 - Certainly Uncertain...

Wed, 17 Feb 2016 21:02:39 +0000

What to do when uncertainty gnaws at your insides…

#BillionDollarQuestion

#45 - On Fasting

Tue, 16 Feb 2016 23:11:18 +0000

Fasting does not change God’s hearing so much as it changes our praying

From The Donald Whitney book I’m currently reading - image by Time Challies

#Apt

#44 - Finally Snow

Mon, 15 Feb 2016 21:26:57 +0000

I suspect it was more a question of when - rather than if, given the extended run of near zero weather we had had for pretty much all of last week – we would have the snow come down. When we did, we woke up to a blanket of snow everywhere on Sunday morning, and then again on Monday. That managed to add 15 minutes to my Sunday morning commute – for all the scrapping and cleaning that my car required – and made me break out a proper winter coat for the first time this year.

#43 - Wait For Me

Sun, 14 Feb 2016 21:02:20 +0000

From the Rebecca St James album Transform, which along with Joshua Harris’ book I Kissed Dating Goodbye ’threatened’ to define how Christian boys and girls related for my generation.. Great ideals though..

#ThrowBack #LifeInASong

#42 - Analysis Paralysis

Sat, 13 Feb 2016 21:35:25 +0000

This xkcd comic just about sums it up for us miserable, over analytical types. For an explanation of the game theory/ prisoner’s dilemma behind the comic, visit explain xkcd.

#41 - About Town - Icy Underfoot

Fri, 12 Feb 2016 23:22:01 +0000

A prolonged stretch of sub -five degree weather has finally left its mark on the pavements, the light sprinkling of rain overnight freezing into a thin layer of ice which makes for treacherous walking conditions. Walking to work at a little past 7.00am this morning, it is slightly reassuring to see I am not the only one bothered by the icy conditions; on the corner of Justice Street and East North Street, I share a smile with a woman in a big red coat who appears to be in at least as much difficulty as I am, only she has several bags to balance in addition with managing to not slip. The bond of shared difficulty I suppose?

#40 - Hoarding

Thu, 11 Feb 2016 21:07:37 +0000

A pit stop at my local grocery shop at which I find coconut water is on sale - cheaper by £1.47…. Forgive me if I went overboard

#Hoarding

#39 - Mayfair

Wed, 10 Feb 2016 21:22:48 +0000

Mayfair, 28th November 2015.

I feel like the travel bug is rearing its head again..

#38 - The Returning

Tue, 09 Feb 2016 21:05:39 +0000

For Mag 305

Like a sentinel She casts her eye over the Sea. Those who have left-

A lost, fading blob. In her heart hides defiant Hope For their returning.

#37 - The View

Mon, 08 Feb 2016 19:07:59 +0000

4.30pm, after what has been one of those hectic days from which I am only too happy to be saved by the end of my work day. Today though, the sense - for the first time in a long while - that I have been productive.

#Content

#36 - Chasing Me Down - Israel Houghton

Sun, 07 Feb 2016 11:13:37 +0000

Have had this on repeat for most of the week… #EarWorm

#35 - A Simple Way To Break A Bad Habit

Sat, 06 Feb 2016 18:15:06 +0000

https://www.ted.com/talks/judson_brewer_a_simple_way_to_break_a_bad_habit?language=en

A fascinating talk by Judson Brewer on habits and how we form them. Apt, given I am looking to embed 12 key ones this year. The key to tweaking our trigger-behaviour-reward cycle is being mindful and curious, focusing on what is really happening to us in the moment of behaving, apparently.

#Timely

#34 - Games Night

Fri, 05 Feb 2016 23:43:11 +0000

Hanging with the young adults at church

#Banter

#33 - Thursday Evening Shenanigans

Thu, 04 Feb 2016 22:10:41 +0000

An Indian, a Weegie and a Nigerian walk into a Spanish tapas place *insert whatever joke you deem fit*.. More seriously though it is a fitting end to what has been a hectic week, hanging out with G and D from work @La Tasca; gin and tonics and red wine lubricating our throats all evening long.

#Work #Bants

#32- Hanging with Bruce

Wed, 03 Feb 2016 20:52:24 +0000

A commemorative statue for Robert the Bruce

#31 - Of Movies and Etiquette

Tue, 02 Feb 2016 21:37:15 +0000

At the movies with L to see The Revenant - as much an endurance test for viewers who have to sit through all 2 hours 36 minutes of it as it is for Leonardo Di Caprio’s character, stumbling through the frozen lands he must to reach home and find a closure of sorts - I find myself wondering what the etiquette for movie watching is these days. Given how the action drags, I am tempted to try to make small talk, keen to not miss the opportunity finally getting a chance to catch up at the 8th or 9th time of trying affords.

#30 - North Esplanade West, Again

Mon, 01 Feb 2016 22:08:45 +0000

North Esplanade West, Again

#29 - On Repeat - Your Presence Is Heaven

Sun, 31 Jan 2016 22:31:10 +0000

Heard after a long time during worship today

#Ace

#28 - Of Discipline and Direction

Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:33:47 +0000

The only road to Christian maturity and godliness passes through the practice of the Spiritual Disciplines. I will emphasize that godliness is the goal of the disciplines, and when we remember this, the Spiritual Disciplines become a delight instead of drudgery

Donald S. Whitney: Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life

#CurrentlyReading

#27 - Body Pump

Fri, 29 Jan 2016 21:15:34 +0000

Against my better judgement, I decided to book a Les Mills body pump class at my gym (which I haven’t been to since last October). Suffice it to say that my soreness and general tiredness in the aftermath of the 45 minute class suggest my fitness is nothing to write home about (or more accurately is non existent). A wake up call if ever there was one.. Sigh

#WakingUp

#26 - Quotable

Thu, 28 Jan 2016 22:11:04 +0000

Stolen off Instagram… Have a peek at the kid’s back story. Impressive

#25 - Out and About

Wed, 27 Jan 2016 21:21:59 +0000

Park Street, 6.20am.. A damp squib of a day!

#24 - Dancing With (In) The Rain

Tue, 26 Jan 2016 18:21:46 +0000

---

She whirls to the rhythm of the rain. Her dance, light-footed - A pirouette - in step with the beat The light, gentle splatter of rain - Drops stopped in full flight By the chipped stones makes. As the night light catches The fringe of her costume She is no longer there. What we have is the after glow Of stolen re-memory - Of Peace and of repose And the calming lightness Of the patter of the Rain.

#23 - Going Analogue

Mon, 25 Jan 2016 20:32:23 +0000

My quick wander around Union Square leads me to WHSmith where I trawl the shelves, ultimately failing to find a notebook that calls to me. I do find this A5 sized one with gridded out sheets at Paperchase, one that reminds me of studying Maths in my (Nigerian) primary school days. Truth is my current task management set up (Wunderlist on my phone and Mac) leaves a little niggle - an inability to order tasks n running order. As a work around, I have pulling through the day’s tasks into Notes on my phone, a sort of live action tracker, which is where this new setup shines, replacing the notes app on my phone with a proper notebook. I hope, once the shine of a new notebook and erasable pen wears off that I can continue to do this… Fingers crossed.

#22 - Be Still My Soul

Sun, 24 Jan 2016 21:34:45 +0000

From time to time, my rather loud, Pentecostal church goes back to basics and sings a communal hymn in place of a choral presentation. Days such as these - I feel - lend themselves more to the more contemplative (or less engaged some would argue) worshipers such as me. The hymn today was particularly apt, particularly the 3rd stanza given the disturbing news my friend B shared overnight about her loss.

#21 - Hard Times

Sat, 23 Jan 2016 21:00:54 +0000

Not the Charles Dickens book but the state of Aberdeen, the (self-proclaimed?) oil capital of Europe.. The biggest news, from a personal perspective this week, was probably the additional job cuts announced by the likes of BP and ConocoPhillips. All that puts into context a chance conversation with the guy behind the till at the corner shop where I grab the odd packet of biscuit or pint of milk when required. It turns out that he is a Reservoir Engineer, out of work for the last 10 months.

#20 - TGIF

Fri, 22 Jan 2016 20:50:18 +0000

A Guinness for the pain…. and to kick off the weekend

#TGIF

#19 - Sister, Remembered...

Thu, 21 Jan 2016 22:29:18 +0000

In which I pretend to be young and free…. Chicago, 2011

#Throwback #Missed

#18 - About Town

Wed, 20 Jan 2016 21:42:57 +0000

Lunchtime, out for a long amble down Market street and up North Esplanade West beside the River Dee…

#Tranquill

#17 - Three Ideas For Life

Tue, 19 Jan 2016 22:48:46 +0000

From Simon Guillebaud’s January 3rd message at Holy Trinity Brompton on the subject Be A Living Sacrifice:

Live Urgently
Give Unreservedly
Be Transformed Radically

#Pondering

#16 - Work (Talk) Shop

Mon, 18 Jan 2016 21:03:28 +0000

Yet another day spent in a workshop, hammering out the finer details of the support we’ll need to provide for an upcoming project. This time away from the office; sequestered in a building on the corner of Market Street and North Esplanade West. I could get used to this; talking about work as opposed to doing work…

#15 - On Trusting

Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:58:16 +0000

–

In keeping with the sense of calmness from this morning, the homily at church today was a reflection on peace, with a key theme being how it is under-girded by a sense of implicit trust. This triggered a recollection of a message Bruce Ware gave many years ago at a New Attitude Conference where he likened trusting God to sitting on a three-legged stool, the three-legs in this case being a recognition that God is all powerful, all wise and all-loving, having our best interests at heart (summarized here).

#14- Calm

Sun, 17 Jan 2016 09:19:16 +0000

The difference the (absence of the) wind makes. Still freezing though

#Paused

#13 - 25 kids, 25 years

Fri, 15 Jan 2016 23:45:58 +0000

Sometime in the late 80’s/ early 90’s.. The place: a University in Ekpoma, Nigeria.. The people: kids and teachers from the Chapel’s Children’s Sunday School, a few of whom I still remember by name - all grown up now. A few dead people (RIP Gracie, GB, ‘Lena and Harold), one fairly famous (Nigerian) fashion designer (M) and seven kids who made it into engineering with a further six involved in other STEM subjects.

#12 - What A Bloke Lives For

Thu, 14 Jan 2016 20:30:16 +0000

Detailed, intense, technical conversations debating the finer points of a certain choice of material of construction. Worn, drained and tired at the end of it all but with all that comes a sense of satisfaction at making progress. Better to be busy than out of work I suppose, particularly given the state of the commodity market at the moment.

#Thankful

#11 - Pub Wisdom

Wed, 13 Jan 2016 22:31:51 +0000

Good things come to those who wait… For a cold, sweaty Guinness, amongst other things.

#Malones #Aberdeen

#10 - Reliving Christmas

Tue, 12 Jan 2016 21:23:25 +0000

Food, fluids and friendships.. The highlights of days of Christmas past..

#9 -Back to Black

Mon, 11 Jan 2016 20:00:39 +0000

Overheard on the airport lounge’s public address system, Amy Winehouse belting out the lines to Back to Black.

A bit out of left field but enough to unleash a flood of memories from that summer of 2009.

#LifeInASong

#8 - On Marrying

Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:09:37 +0000

Stumbled upon via the Wordpress discovery feature, The True Story of a Seven Year Marriage:

Before you can make high towers, it’s best to build a good strong base. It comes from laughter, empathy, forgiveness, accepting the other person’s struggle, and knowing yourself. But sometimes without knowing it, you build too high and too fast. Things get shaky and start to wobble. There is always a way to rebuild if you’re willing. Always new and different blocks to try, always time to take a few steps back and build the bottom stronger.

#7 - Of Mentors

Sat, 09 Jan 2016 23:37:32 +0000

Watching Whiplash again reminded me of the power mentors (or more correctly in this case, people who we look up to and whose opinions we cherish) can have over us, driving us to become singularly focused on achieving, thereby impressing them. The merits and demerits of the influence of Fletcher on Andrew may be open to interpretation - the methods certainly are - but the intensity with which that final scene was delivered might make up for every thing.

#6 - Of Faith and Metaphors

Fri, 08 Jan 2016 22:58:46 +0000

--- Yesterday was a seventh consecutive day of having managed to start my day with a time of quiet contemplation using the devotional I’ve chosen to use for the year. The reading, from 1 Corinthians 9:27 with its imagery of war with the body got me thinking of all the other metaphors faith (at least in the Christian sense) is described by. A few readily came to mind; an athlete, a soldier, a farmer and a steward of resources. I suspect there are more, if one chose to delve deeper, but all these seemed to support the narrative of focus and discipline on one hand, and reward on the other.

#5 - Spontaneity

Thu, 07 Jan 2016 21:25:06 +0000

Sent on a whim, and very well received by all accounts. I should do this more often.

#Embrace spontaneity

#4 -Of names...

Wed, 06 Jan 2016 21:11:20 +0000

At the coffee machine, catching up with the new, younger engineer who shares my first name, he asks me what my surname is. I give him the anglicized, easy to pronounce version which doesn’t satisfy him. He asks me how I would pronounce it - cue five attempts, after each of which he fails colossally to reproduce the sounds I make somehow ending up adding, subtracting and transposing syllables through his various attempts.

#3 - Joy In The Simple Things

Tue, 05 Jan 2016 22:55:28 +0000

In the picture are two of my favourite things: coffee, particularly that festive specialty ginger bread latte and wasabi peas which have been out of stock at the shop next to work for a while. Which is why I went a little over the top once they were back in, ordered four little packs.

#Bliss

#2 - Savouring the Silence

Mon, 04 Jan 2016 21:46:35 +0000

Each year, on the last day before work officially resumes, I pop into the office to clear my desk. Something about the emptiness and the quietness allows me to, as I put away the detritus of the past year’s work, progressively bring myself to a place where I feel prepared to face the new work year. A large part of that is about trying to ease myself into the routine of work, acclimatising to my work space again after what usually has been two to three weeks of absence, and a food fuelled haze of sorts.

1 - First Run

Sun, 03 Jan 2016 21:54:15 +0000

My first run since I cracked a couple of bones in my foot last October went without incident, all fifteen minutes of it. I took my usual route, up the Beach Boulevard and then towards the Beach Esplanade; the long, straight stretch of which I have come to love for the sense of exhilaration I get as my feet pound the ground in time with whatever song I am listening to.

100 Days Of Being

Sat, 02 Jan 2016 22:57:35 +0000

This year, instead of a bucket list of things I am hoping to achieve, I chose to identify 12 things, key changes which in my opinion if implemented in my life would deliver the biggest value. The intent is to focus on one for each month, the idea (referenced in this Matt Cutts TEDx talk) being that focusing on one change for a thirty day period gives one a fighting chance of making lasting change.

Lessons Learned...

Thu, 31 Dec 2015 21:07:23 +0000

A Year of Lessons Learned - some at great cost - in no particular order:

Doubts not dealt with at inception are unlikely to go away of their own accord, they are more likely to fester and then lead to a cataclysmic event;
It is almost never ever about you alone, people can (and probably will) get hurt by the fallout of your (in)decisions;
The health, quality and colour of the grass across the fence are notoriously difficult to predict, one is perhaps best minded to live by the dictum ’ a bird in hand is worth two in the bush’ ;
Mutuality - another notoriously difficult thing to predict - is everything;
There is nothing to be gained from overthinking things;
Time is perhaps the greatest contributor to clarity and healing;
God does still come through, only He does have a peculiar sense of timing.

For 2016?

2015 in Three (Money) Charts

Thu, 31 Dec 2015 18:51:04 +0000

Notes

3% reduction in overall networth vs YE 2014; driven mainly by the impact of the crash in the value of the Nigerian Naira on my Nigeria domicilled bits and bobs
Full Year (FY) spend was 96% of net earnings (v. 104% for FY 2014); non-charity spend at 71% of net earnings (v.74% for FY 2014). Unsustainable in the long run but headed in the right direction I believe.
FY spend ~12% above plan, main driver being expenditures related to my decision to live alone from May (and outfit my house)
Main exposure is ~£4k in outstanding loans; not including the £1.5k I wrote off at YE 2014.

Key 2016 Actions

Recapping that 'perfect' year

Thu, 31 Dec 2015 08:07:29 +0000

That perfect year?

In Work: Did finally get offered a staff position somewhere that ticked all the boxes I deeply desired at the beginning of the year (O&G operator, strong technical focus and scope to evolve my role). As a bonus, the official job title is now half a sentence :)
In Women: The G ‘problem’ ended being resolved in dissolution. Sucked but we were clearly headed no where. I suspect it was me tearing things up instead of dealing with them, again. :(
In Faith and Worldview: Not a lot of progress, very easily my worst year faith wise.
In Weight: 1 kg net loss, give or take, I do have the excuse of a broken foot in Q3 to blame here though :)
In (Net) Worth: Stalled again, slight decrease from 2014 actually - not helped by the Naira tanking and wiping out a shed load of my Nigerian savings and investments.:(

F0r 2016? Wash, Rinse, Repeat I guess - but with a lot more fight.

The Year in Reading 2015

Thu, 31 Dec 2015 06:39:58 +0000

Trying to get a lot more structured with reading - 25 books in total spread across 5 categories - Christian Classics, Literary Classics, Popular Fiction, Modern Christian Writing and Productivity, Personal Development & Non-fiction.

Completed:

Moonwalking with Einstein - Joshua Foer
The Pioneer Detectives -Konstantin Kakaes
The Best American Essays 2014 - JJ Sullivan (ed)
The Land of Steady Habits - Ted Thompson
Sexual Detox - Tim Challies
NW - Zadie Smith
Crafting the Personal Essay - Dinty W Moore
What’s so Amazing About Grace - Phillip Yancey
How To Be Alone - Jonathan Franzen
The Best American Essays 2013 - Cheryl Strayed (ed)
The Seven Good Years - Etgar Keret
Hunger of Memory: The Education of Richard Rodriguez - Richard Rodriguez
The Children Act - Ian McEwan
The Things They Carried- Tim O’Brien
Something to Answer For - P.H. Newby

The Writer Is....

Wed, 09 Dec 2015 21:26:42 +0000

…Neither saint nor Tzadik nor prophet standing at the gate; he’s just another sinner who has somewhat sharper awareness and uses slightly more precise language to describe inconceivable reality of our world. He doesn’t invent a single feeling or thought – all of them existed long before him… He’s here, at our side, buried up to his neck in mud and filth.

The Seven Good Years: A Memoir, Etgar Keret

New (old) Job - A Testimony of Sorts

Sun, 06 Dec 2015 23:54:26 +0000

I came into church on the 10th of May feeling deeply distraught, the overwhelming sense being that all was not well. Two main issues drove the sense of disjunction I felt; uncertainties around work and an inner turmoil around a decision in my personal life I had wrestled with for nearly a year.

The message on the day was by Rev Charles Achonwa - one of the first things he said being about surrendering to grace. This spoke directly to where I was at the moment, as I had taken time off a month before to come up with what I felt was the perfect plan with multiple backups and redundancies but had made little progress which fed the sense of frustration I felt.

Human, Too

Fri, 04 Dec 2015 08:30:09 +0000

In his seminal essay Why I Blog, Andrew Sullivan reflects on the subject of blogging; it’s similarity to - and shared etymology with - a ship’s log, its rise in step with the proliferation of the web technologies which have made it possible, and the unique niche it fills in the online space. Its overarching and enduring quality, he surmises, is due in part to two things; the informal, almost instantaneous nature of blogging as a reaction to news and events, and the intense, if sometimes unforgiving, interaction between blogger and reader that blogs enable. The conclusions he reaches are from considering a specific form of a blog, the sort that lies at the intersection of personal reflection and journalism, much like his (now retired blog) Daily Dish. Overall the numbers are mind boggling. Back in 2005, Technorati estimated that a blog was born every second, with 14.2m blogs being tracked by them back then (For some context, Tumblr which didn’t exist back in 2005 was home to 261 million blogs as of the 1st of November this year). The vast majority of this blogosphere is made up of blogs that are far less serious in nature and content than the ones Sullivan’s comments concern primarily, however his conclusions apply, perhaps more-so in this personal, less formal space.

On Repeat: Good Good Father

Sun, 22 Nov 2015 12:43:55 +0000

You’re a Good, Good Father It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are And I’m loved by you It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

Coming Up For Air...

Sun, 15 Nov 2015 12:30:19 +0000

It has been that sort of month since I was last here, the sort where the only possible response once the worst of it has passed is one of navel gazing self congratulation, at having survived without too much out of kilter, like a slight limp instead of a compound fracture…Between two trips offshore, a sore foot which required a pitstop at A&E and busyness multiplied exponentially, the past three weeks have sped by like a blur. My continuum? 12 hour work days, deadlines coming thick and fast, and weekends spent trying to catch up on the week’s backlog in time for a fresh load of things to chase for the new week.

Fortuity

Fri, 23 Oct 2015 11:30:45 +0000

I chalk it up to the much vaunted persistence of vendors, when T. insists on coming into the office to drop off documents that require my assent rather than pop them in the mail. Part of me is more than mildly irritated at his insistence, given how much I have got on my plate at the moment - and the hour or so I will have to carve out of my day to attend to him. He comes bearing gifts, two large, sturdy umbrellas with alternating green and white panels; splashed with a large copy of his company logo. That does little to mollify me, but I manage to be courteous enough to make small talk and have a quick whiz through the documents I need to sign off. Just before he leaves, he enquires about the potential for future work, a subject I am unwilling to discuss given the state of the industry. When it is time to go home later that day, I leave the umbrella, that decision my nod to its unwantedness.

A Year of Living Earnestly...

Thu, 22 Oct 2015 00:32:00 +0000

[ Source]

Three chance occurrences over the space of the last month have done a lot more to unsettle me than anything else in the year so far. Not in a bad way by any chance, but in an ask-myself-hard-questions way. Of the myriad of questions bobbing around in my mind, ones that relate to authenticity, passion and faith and how these can be melded into a coherent practice have come to the fore, inspired by how the people in question are doing life in their real worlds, leaving marks in ways I can only aspire to at this stage.

Zungzwang...

Mon, 05 Oct 2015 10:05:15 +0000

In chess:

a situation in which the obligation to make a move in one’s turn is a serious, often decisive, disadvantage.

In real life:

a situation in which one realises that life is speeding by in a state of unstable equilibrium with all the possible moves only likely to lead to more instability, or possibly a catastrophic event…

The solution? To stop, tear everything up and begin again… Maybe..

Letter from St John's - The wrap

Sat, 03 Oct 2015 11:30:31 +0000

The view from 26F as we descended towards St John’s International was great, not particularly dissimilar to what one might see at a similar stage of the journey towards Aberdeen, the West Coast of Scotland or Ireland; which must now be a travel objective for me over the next few years.

Once safely parked and disembarked - to 19°C weather - my first impressions of the airport were of how hastily put together it all seemed, with construction continuing in various parts. That lent a rustic, uncomplicated - perhaps even idyllic - air to everything, the sort of chilled, back water one might go to escape the lures of technology. Before travelling I had searched extensively for a duty free shop at YYT, walking the short distance to the arrivals terminal made the reasons for my futile googling apparent.

Letter from St John's

Sun, 27 Sep 2015 10:49:23 +0000

If all goes well, by the time you read this, I will have spent just over 18 hours in St John’s, North America’s oldest city, depending on who you listen to. As I type away in Evernote on my laptop, my view is considerably less fascinating than what I have been looking forward to; the 3 day ginger stubble of the fellow in seat 26D, my notes and the tepid remains of coffee in a Styrofoam cup occupying the full extent of my vision. The map on the entertainment console in front of me indicates that I am now half way across the expanse of the Atlantic stretching between the western edge of the Republic of Ireland and St John’s, not entirely a comforting thought to be surrounded by all that water.

Summer's End..

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 11:30:00 +0000

For the first time since July, I have begun to run again. Once a week - I’d like to make it twice - I don my bright orange jacket, shorts and running shoes and begin at a leisurely pace down Urquhart road, up Links Road and then gradually pick up pace until my feet are pounding the tarmac on the long stretch that is the Beach Esplanade.

Sleep, or more accurately sleeplessness, has been one of the drivers for running again. Once awake sometime between 2am and 4am regardless of when I hit the sack, I find my mind far too active to go back to sleep. That is how I end up awake till it feels like a less ungodly hour to hit the road and run. What running does is afford me time to think - headphones plugged in, I can focus on the rhythm my feet make and the beat of whatever I am listening to. I am not alone in the pursuit of running zen, sometimes I pass other runners in different phases of their own runs, walking a dog or on the odd occasion an elderly couple out and about strolling.

On Repeat: Mercy - Casting Crowns

Sun, 13 Sep 2015 10:42:53 +0000

--- Healer of my brokenness My weary soul will find its rest You are my strength, the lifter of my head You’re greater than my yesterdays You hold me close today You’re the Lord of my tomorrows

Mercy, from the Casting Crowns Album Until The Whole World Hears (2009)

On Language, and Aspiration

Fri, 11 Sep 2015 12:30:00 +0000

In the opening chapter of his autobiography, Hunger of Memory, Richard Rodriguez explores his introduction to the English language, and the strain his commitment to mastering it places on his relationship with his parents. Being Mexican immigrants to America in the 1970’s, their primary language of intimacy and engagement is Spanish, their efforts in English being halting and deeply accented, even though his mother is an excellent speller of words. The emotion most stirred in those early days - when he as the up and coming scholarship boy gets to be out and about with them - is one of embarrassment and perhaps frustration at their limitations. For him, as with most people looking to escape the limitations of a certain kind of background, aspiration is a keen motivator, one that drives him to seek to immerse himself in knowledge and books, and take up the manners, airs and graces of the class and culture he looks up to.

Of Hair and Odd Conversations

Fri, 04 Sep 2015 11:30:14 +0000

Image Source: Dionysius Burton, Flickr

As far as dubious honours go, being asked what part of The States I am from in Union Square has to come near the top of my list; not least because it is unclear what prompted the fairly ancient gentleman to tap my arm and initiate the conversation in the first place. On reflection, my friend A., or more correctly her hair, must have had some input, if his eyes which never left her face had anything to do with it.

August Visitor

Fri, 28 Aug 2015 11:30:27 +0000

The day passes quickly without incident until they come through the door; they being Z, and A, here to spend a few minutes having a natter with me just after lunch. What strikes me first is how striking the resemblance is. Z has her mother’s eyes, flowing hair, and - from what I’ve heard - her penchant for good natured deviousness.

When they first arrive, Z is hiding behind her mother, peeking out now and again like only children do, somehow believing that there not being a direct line of sight means they are hidden from view. A and I catch up about work and the latest office gossip, whilst trying to cajole Z into taking the hand I have proffered several times. Nothing works. By the time our catch up is done, they both leave me to the company of my headphones, and the pile of virtual paperwork I have been working through.

Letting Go...

Fri, 21 Aug 2015 11:30:28 +0000

Image Credit: Sarah Horrigan, Flickr

The one woman I think I loved most in my recent history didn’t quite like me back that way. I was sure she was The One; I was entranced by how her eyes lit up around children and young people, how easy she was to talk to, and how her voice - soft and mellow yet steely when required - seemed to exude this aura of quiet strength. Even her awkward moments seemed cute, the tilt of her chin when she pretended to not see me across the room and the mumbled words when I could tell she was furiously inventing excuses to not meet up.

A Good Year of Sorts - A Playlist

Sat, 15 Aug 2015 09:56:26 +0000

\https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries?list=PLYbuHzHoxFuCf8ksItOz6ZdGAL_L8PR1W&w=800&h=315\

The continuum: loss, numbness, turmoil, (self induced) heartbreak, surrender and (finally) finding a peace of sorts.. Here’s to Beginning, Again…

The Playlist

Mad World - Gary Joules
Wish - Lighthouse Family
This Too Shall Pass - Yolanda Adams
Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser
Father Me - Rick & Cathy Riso
Read All About It - Emeli Sande
Airplanes - B.O.B
Love Alone Is Worth The Fight - Switchfoot
Volcano - Rapture Ruckus & Jonathan Thulin
Redemption Days - Josh Ojo
Something New - Axwell Ingrosso
Shake - MercyMe

On Being and Identity

Fri, 14 Aug 2015 11:30:22 +0000

Standing here on the cusp of a milestone birthday of sorts, the sense is one of relief - that what has been a deeply emotive, if difficult year, has ended without too much lingering damage. Much of course is relative, depending on that difficult to define quality emotional capacity, or resilience. To my untrained mind, it would appear that like muscles and exercise, the more experience one has had dealing with trauma and difficult, emotionally charged situations, the easier it should get. I suspect the jury is still out on that. Tempering the sense of relief is a sense of clarity, the detached sort that hits in the moments between when a car begins to skid off a bridge and when it hits the icy water beneath. Time, in those moments, seems to stand still, each event on the time line of dying taking on crystal clear quality, like an HD frame, frozen. This birthday has that feeling of being a portal to inevitable change. The facts are what they are, I am now nearer forty than thirty, and that realisation in one fell swoop takes away any remaining pretensions to enduring youth I still have. What this does in addition is bring to the fore the questions of being, identity and direction I have managed to sweep under the carpet over the past few years.

What You Lose

Fri, 07 Aug 2015 11:30:36 +0000

Source:

What you lose in the breaking, and the leaving, and in the tearing up of things is not the weight of the burden of a flailing we, unravelling as it were, beneath the weight of the angst the uncertainty of ambivalent inquiry weaves in its wake.

What you gain is not peace, or freedom, or the sense of soaring free; a relief craved like cold water on a blistering summer day - a breath drawn deep, air gulped a sigh of resignation at the certainty of leaving.

Start Here

Tue, 04 Aug 2015 18:04:20 +0000

New here? Here are a few of the pieces I have come back to time and time again, typically because they captured something about the time and place I was when I first wrote them. Dive in, and thanks for stopping by.

The Weekend Diary - Of Trains and Stolen Things

Fri, 31 Jul 2015 11:30:21 +0000

I realise the reservation ‘gods’ have dealt me a dubious hand within five minutes of coming aboard the 11.03 to Edinburgh Waverley. That is all the time it takes for me to spot the trio of old geezers parked in the pair of seats immediately to my right and be swarmed by the posse of loud, giggling women who breeze past on their way to the seats they have reserved a few seats behind me. Between them, they kick up a racket whilst the train loads up, from which I overhear that the men are offshore workers returning home - somewhere beyond Edinburgh - after three weeks offshore, and the women are headed to Edinburgh for a hen do.

On Loss..

Fri, 24 Jul 2015 11:30:20 +0000

[Image Source]

It has been a deeply emotive week for me, bookended as it were by Sunday’s Remembrance Service - a year exactly to the day since we lost H- and the quiet, deathly stillness of my office today as I stand here, cup of coffee in hand looking out at the lunch time crowd milling about. As the week has gone along, the flurry of phone calls, emails and messages of commiseration I have had to field from people has eased off, allowing me some time to begin to reflect on where I am, and how things have evolved over the past year. Not much has changed by all accounts, I still haven’t brought myself to delete H’s details from my phone or my FB page for that matter - deceased 19th July 2014 is the only addition I have made on my phone - which led to a birthday reminder from FB in my feed the other day, as raw a reminder as there could be of the keenness of the loss we still feel.

With Grace

Fri, 17 Jul 2015 11:30:18 +0000

I have been (re) reading Philip Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace, the central idea of which is that the church has gone the way of the world in dealing with people who are different; with judgement and disdain rather than grace. For a book from 1997, it does not by any means feel dated, somehow remaining current not least for the issues it tackles; issued which defined the late Nineties but still continue to define our current epoch than anything else - homosexuality and the moral failings of people in leadership, temporal and spiritual.

3-5 go

Fri, 10 Jul 2015 11:30:39 +0000

Amara U, Flickr

It is perhaps indicative of just how activity-starved my life has been lately that all it takes is a week’s notice for me to drag myself across the 397 odd miles down south to join K, family and parents in celebrating 35 years of staying married. In fairness to her, Royal Mail had a hand in the late invitation; when she texted me frantically that Friday afternoon, it was with a mind to chide me for my legendary tardiness. Only my strenuous denials backed up by the fact that I had moved houses recently saved me in the end. Long story short, I ended up on Friday night in the comparatively upscale setting of South Harrow, the hub around which we all converged - from every nook and cranny of the world it seemed, Scotland ably represented by yours truly.

At The Centre of Things

Fri, 03 Jul 2015 11:30:41 +0000

Photo credits - David Goehring, Flickr

- -

All I remember from the immediate aftermath of hitting the red button which terminates the FaceTime conversation I have been having with G is a feeling of reeling and of sinking, how I imagine the driver of a car suddenly swept off a road into the icy depths of a lake might feel - disoriented, numb and perhaps too taken aback to have any real appreciation of the import of what has just happened. There is good reason to feel this way, given the act - symbolic as it were - is one that brings to an end what has been a good year of sorts, and that only for the third time ever. To reach this place, where what is a painful, hard fought decision has been taken, has required months of agony and wrestling - weighing the pros of trying to save face against the cons of loss, of time and sunken investments. That G and I work, by and large, has made the decision even more difficult; that a milestone birthday of sorts for me has just passed complicates things even more.

A good month of sorts...

Tue, 30 Jun 2015 12:30:00 +0000

Image Credits - Joey Rozier, Flickr

It has been a fascinating month of sorts on here - and also in real life where the issues which drove my sense of dissonance and the need to begin again have eased off. I would be remiss if I said I was out of the woods completely, but there certainly is a sense of significant progress and building traction in the right direction. The money numbers were pretty much bang on plan - just under £0.01 actual vs planned - which allowed me put away twice what I planned at the beginning of the month. I did spend more than planned on transport and purchases, main driver being the need to head down south for a weekend at short notice and the bits and bobs I purchased to support that. For the interested (waves at SisiOnABudget), here are two charts (by category, plan vs actuals) with a little more detail.

Of life and playthings

Mon, 22 Jun 2015 18:01:22 +0000

For today’s Daily Prompt, Toy Story

- - -

There is a real sense in which play was a concept alien to the world in which I grew up. Being the son of two high achieving, austere academicians did that to me; that they adopted a rigorous, all encompasing asceticism merely underlined the near total absence in our lives of anything that didn’t fulfil a function of some sort. The Black & White National television set was the communal alter around which we sacrificed our evenings to learning and current affairs, the gramophone, the vehicle by which nostalgic memories where wheeled out and shared with us younglings.

The Perfect Year - In Five Things

Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:30:00 +0000

From my notes at the end of March (which kind of triggered this)

In Work: Greater clarity around my role going forward, and dare I say a staff role somewhere that allows me focus (almost) exclusively on developing my technical Materials and Corrosion skills.
In Women: Resolution of my G ‘problem’ - we’ve stalled, we both know it but we’re letting the weight of third party expectations drive our actions.
In Worldview: God and I need to have a proper conversation and make up. This cognitive dissonance is driving me nuts.
In Weight: 8kg over my YE2014 numbers. MUST do better!
In (Net) Worth: Stalled, no increases since YE 2013 inspite of net increase in earnings. Must rein in 2015 spend and take it from there. Hopefully SisiOnABudget comes up with the magic bullet for this soon!

In Conversation - Of Coffee and Banter

Thu, 18 Jun 2015 22:13:45 +0000

[ Source] –

I must have looked like shitknackered, or something close by all accounts, if the look the lady at the front desk gave me when I dragged myself, knapsack in hand and windbreaker open all the way down at the front, across the stoop to her desk to get signed in for the day was anything to go by. I was here at my old stomping ground from a few years ago to attend a training course - the first two days of which had lurched from plain boring to an absolute waste of the thousand pounds I’d managed to fork out for it. That my on-off insomnia was back in full pelt could not have helped - four ibuprofren plus notwithstanding - I had flitted in and out of sleep till 6.30am, at which time I gave up, brewed a cup of coffee and got my day started.

The Sense of An Ending

Fri, 12 Jun 2015 11:30:33 +0000

I sit here at my desk, amidst a sea of boxes, piles of paper and open drawers, grateful for the peace and quiet these last few minutes before the lunch break starts afford me. The morning has flown by quickly, lost in the blur of furiously packing, sorting and binning four years worth of work and junk that by the end of the day has to be organised neatly so the office admin staff can get them moved as required. The powers that be in my neck of the woods have decreed - having decided that we have been stuck in our silos for far too long - that moving to an office sharing arrangement that has us clustered functionally will foster a more collaborative approach to work, create synergies and improve efficiencies. Fundamentally democratic - and buzz word heavy - even though the unspoken elephant in the room is that by some quirk in the system the supreme leader has scored a corner office looking out onto the harbour; a far more eye pleasing sight than the endless parade of bus tops that I can just make out from my desk if I squint hard enough. Earned perks of office I guess.

Of Titles and Taglines

Tue, 09 Jun 2015 05:22:49 +0000

I first heard the word Quotidian used in every day parlance in 2010 by one of my favourite authors, the British-Nigerian Poet and Novelist, Chris Abani in his TED 2008 talk On Humanity.

The context within which he uses the word is the retelling of a story from his childhood, growing up as a young Ibo boy in Nigeria, having to kill a goat, but finding himself too sensitive to do so. In the end, Emmanuel an older boy who has been a boy soldier in the Biafran (Nigerian Civil) war comes to his rescue, putting his hands over the goat’s mouth and covering its eyes so he doesn’t have to see them whilst he kills the goat. In the story, Chris is moved by the duty of care the older, hardened ex-soldier exercises over him concerning the simple matter of killing a goat, given that he has been involved in fighting a war widely recognised as having led to the deaths of over a million people. That deeply emotive context seems to have left an indelible mark on me, and driven me to associate a double meaning with the word. Whilst normal, everyday things are quotidian, context often colours them in shades and nuances far more complicated than they seem or should be - hence the title of my blog Quotidian Things.

Beginning, Again

Mon, 08 Jun 2015 11:00:49 +0000

For the umpteenth time I am attempting to begin again. As to triggers for each prior iteration of these beginnings, I can blame various cataclysmic events – a delayed quarter life crisis which ended up with me starting over on a new continent, a short lived romance, and the sense of endlessly treading water being prime examples of some of these. On this occasion however, I cannot pinpoint a singular reason why; such has been the sort of year I have had – between the end of a good year of sorts with G and the significant uncertainties brought about by an unstable oil price regime.

Spring[ing]

Fri, 22 May 2015 23:00:00 +0000

[ Source]

---

The sense of something

Brewing; Hope’s shoots, soft, tender-

Beginning, Again

On Repeat: Jonathan Thulin (feat Manwell Reyes) - Compass

Sun, 17 May 2015 19:34:00 +0000

---

I know that you’re my constant Even if I lost it, I’m chasing after you like a Com Pom Pom Pom Pass (compass)

Compass, from the album Science Fiction

A Pilgrim's Prayer

Tue, 12 May 2015 05:00:00 +0000

For Mag 269 --- Here beneath The glow of your halo, Mother of God, With clasped hands And humble spirit I bow in supplication, Bringing a prayer For redemption, for Absolution from this Weight, this burden Of deferred hope.

The crash of thunder, Flash of lightning, Fire and smoke, Echoed across seven hills Is etched in my memory A callus chafed raw By this journey, This unceasing battle Of Self and Spirit Of good ambushed by doubt

Shake - MercyMe

Sun, 10 May 2015 11:35:49 +0000

Brand new looks so good on you So shake like you’ve been changed

From the album Welcome to the New which I found eminently enjoyable, and danceable…

Of Journeys and Endings...

Thu, 07 May 2015 20:35:52 +0000

[ Source]

When March finally dragged itself to an end, I remember thinking that I hadn’t felt as stressed as I did at the time since 2008, 2008 being a nadir of sorts; one that ended up with me quitting my job and heading back to grad school, my version of navigating a delayed quarter life crisis.

So out of sorts and form did I feel that I took myself away to the Starbucks in Union Square, one Sunday after church, ordered the most decadent hot chocolate with cream on offer and proceeded to have a conversation with myself. What quickly became apparent from that exercise was that there were a number of pressure points which were driving my malaise.

Transmogrification

Wed, 06 May 2015 20:54:45 +0000

For Mag 268: --- The dinginess within cannot hide the beauty that lurks here, hidden beneath the patina of age and wanton neglect.

Haste hinders the unveiling of poise, of grace carved out of ugly rock, of error transmogrified* by intense, pregnant intent, into a towering edifice of strained sinews and abs chiseled to perfection.

This is no drowning Narcissus sinking into a murky river of swirling self indulgence; this is David, bare and broken saved by the master’s hand.

NaPoWriMo Day 30 - Times and Seasons

Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:42:52 +0000

With time one learns there are no real endings, only times, and new seasons…

--- NaPoWriMo is a wrap for this year, even though I never did get round to completing the Day 14 challenge. Big ups to La Reine and Tolu who challenged and inspired along the way… Bring on 2016!

NaPoWriMo Day 29 - Giving Stars

Wed, 29 Apr 2015 20:26:23 +0000

[ Source]

Four stars for the Chelsea boots in brown; five from Wood, for their soft leather and inner cushion, for how easy they fit his wide feet and how they arrive in time for spring and the promise of new beginnings.

One star from Miles, for how they fall apart; split at the heel after seven months of use; for how they’ll harm your feet, and fall apart as though sawn in two.

NaPoWriMo Day 28 - Bridge

Tue, 28 Apr 2015 23:25:00 +0000

In the unknown you clutch vestigial memories of night journeys and of trains and being surprised by grey granite segueing into lush greenery

but once you cross the Bridge across the Firth of Forth Hope awakens ‘Cos you’re Home.

On train journeys, coming home and the Forth Road Bridge for the prompt for Day 28 at NaPoWriMo, a truly gorgeous sight on a (rare?) sunny November day as I found many years ago…

NaPoWriMo Day 27 - How To Make Small Talk

Mon, 27 Apr 2015 12:05:09 +0000

Pause, On the corner of Kings’ and 23rd North West and smile, let your face crumble like a cookie dipped in spring milk.

Tell her the musky scent of her perfume reminds you of spring wafting in on the wind heady, yet subtle, hardly felt.

Moan about the weather, of snow pelting down like hail of sunshine shoved into a corner by clouds and then nightfall

When you find she’s clutching Chaucer to her chest and McEwan in her bag, read her a line from Komunyakaa: ‘I took seven roads to get here and almost died three times’*.

NaPoWriMo Day 26 - The Leaving

Sun, 26 Apr 2015 19:47:13 +0000

For Mag 267

You and I are sweeping up the shards of something blithely broken, something shattered into a thousand jagged things, by this weight, this unshifting burden of this we, we nearly were.

There is leaving, and then this, Leaving, headed west, chasing closure, across the valley, beyond which there is no returning.

On Repeat - NF (feat Jeremiah Carlson) - I'll Keep On

Sun, 26 Apr 2015 12:00:00 +0000

--- It’s like I’m standing in the rain and you offer me a raincoat But I would rather stand there and get wet than take the handout

NaPoWriMo Day 25 - Delirium

Sat, 25 Apr 2015 21:42:22 +0000

[ Source]

You feel the fever the morning after the strangers leave, engorged by their suckling of your life sap. The gift they leave is the delirium. Dry skin, heavy head and the shivers; the sense of warped time and a bubble of discomfort They rob the future of the joy of present presence- one dies every minute but for those who escape there is only the burning burden of relief.

For World Malaria Day… And the one child every minute stolen from our future by the disease.

NaPoWriMo Day 24 - Shall I Compare You to a Harmattan Day?

Fri, 24 Apr 2015 21:52:00 +0000

Shall I compare you to a harmattan day? You are far more refreshing, than palm wine. Strong winds do bear the Sahara’s clay But in your shade, is rest divine.

For the NaPoWriMo Day 24 prompt - to write a parody of a famous poem; in this case Shakespeare’s sonnet number 18. Catching up..

NaPoWriMo Day 23 - House, Of Cards

Thu, 23 Apr 2015 22:15:00 +0000

[ Source]

If words were everything We would be halfway To the moon and back, A streak of light, white-bright Against the night sky Driving darkness far away Into the distance Of a forgotten age.

If promises were The elixir of life We would nymph-like never age, Never yield to the chiseling Hand of time, etching its Designs into our very bones.

Word by word they have built up Grandiose things, carcasses that Loom large, Colossus-like over us; Selling us bamboo dust for sandal wood, Trading Hope for the control A snake charmer’s pungi wields.

NaPoWriMo Day 22 - Basking

Wed, 22 Apr 2015 16:25:23 +0000

[ Source]

--- Rabbits nonchalantly nibbling at grass, whiff of daffodil scent, beer-bellied men, bare chested; women, pale armed seeking sun. Spring’s sprung and like moths to flame we bask in its warmth.

--- For the Day 22 prompt at NaPoWriMo; and Earth Day.

NaPoWriMo Day 21 - For Justice

Tue, 21 Apr 2015 17:25:22 +0000

For Prompt #21 at NaPoWriMo - Erasure, and an inexplicably unsettling Ted Talk by the International Justice Mission’s Gary Haugen, even though this probably doesn’t count as an erasure poem.

– I’m not much of a crier- In Rwanda tears just aren’t much help Compassion - cum passio - mean(s) to suffer with Up close to human suffering.

Your first introduction Might have been We Are The World. A mom from Zambia, three kids, Widow, coals on the cooking fire Completely cold, watch Peter suffer, grow cold.

NaPoWriMo Day 20 - Lessons Learned

Mon, 20 Apr 2015 23:38:23 +0000

A bloke can do no worse Than believe his own hype Unless it is to hope That a grand Messianic gesture Might turn the ebbing tide of Love, Where a simple one would do.

For everything there is a time And a season for everything under the Sun But what virtue does Hope have unless She stir in dire times?

NaPoWriMo Day 19 - A landay for parting...

Mon, 20 Apr 2015 17:55:13 +0000

Parting is all we know of hell* Heaven the delightful linger of the touch of love’s spell.

--- For the Day 19 prompt at NaPoWriMo; not quite a formal landay but this will have to do :) *Paraphrased from Emily Dickinson’s My life closed twice before its close (96)

NaPoWriMo Day 18 - Answers...

Sun, 19 Apr 2015 19:27:48 +0000

With these two feet I begin This journey, of probing and inquiry A thousand miles stretched taut Like a string. Losing itself in the Distance between here and there A road untraversed separating This beginning - hallowed ground And that distant pleasure dome.

One cannot escape the lure Of mystery dived head first into, The call of the unknown, enthralling, Siren-like, borne on the wind like Pollen from a flower to its receptacles; A birth,new beginning from wanton waste.

Why We Love, Why We Cheat

Sun, 19 Apr 2015 14:08:58 +0000

http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat?language=en

On the biology of love (amongst a ton of other fascinating stuff), and the three brain systems that evolve from our human experience of mating and reproduction - lust, romantic love and (long term) attachment.

NaPoWriMo Day 17 - Cobbled Together

Sat, 18 Apr 2015 02:42:44 +0000

If you came in late Naiman’s banned from Hearthstone- Attempted to judge this lady in Ten tailored jogging pants.

Fold up the paper map You should get lost This May you can get A lot of writing done

– This has been cobbled together from tweets by @BillSimmons, @DailyDot, @DamiOyedele, @Esquire, @NYTimes and @BLoreWriters in response to the Day 17 NaPoWriMo prompt to write a “social media”-style poem, quoting from friends’ texts, tweets, FB status updates, twitter accounts, and blogposts, and the back of the cereal box on your breakfast table.

NaPoWriMo Day 16 - Questions for *Ella

Thu, 16 Apr 2015 07:04:52 +0000

Sometimes a thing is just a thing with no stakes* And the ardour of a mid summer’s night kiss just a fling, A memory lingering long after the act like shimmer of dusk on a lake.

Sometimes the moment is all there is to everything, A gift to savour, like the sparkling stones a river brings To its delta, ground round by their unseen journey.

When the hoops begin to multiply, and everything becomes a drudge Does it mean the dream has begun to fade, and that our scars and secrets are in the light?

NaPoWriMo Day 15 - Why I Write

Wed, 15 Apr 2015 20:07:21 +0000

Sometimes silence is the song a caged bird sings, the fading echo the flailing of a broken wing leaves, as it creaks beneath the weight of life’s hammer blows.

Sometimes silence is the shrill scream rushing air makes as it leaves a pierced balloon as it runs amok in its death throes before nestling limp like a wet sock and disappearing.

Sometimes pain will break you and the linger of unrequited memory will haunt you, seared as it were in the very fabric of your mind’s skin.

NaPoWriMo Day 14 - Game Theory, A Conversation

Tue, 14 Apr 2015 18:48:12 +0000

A conversation… c. 2009, stumbled upon.

I once had serious game you know.. It seems you’ve still got it man. 3 conundrums? Nah… It’s all seeped off, all that is left now are the dregs. The dregs? Explain! The jaded bottom of the game jar, festering with settled solids. It may be the most potent, no? That would be the strongest, I can imagine. Maybe, but its not available in copious quantities. It has to be miserly dispensed to prevent extreme intoxication. Better for the gamee, no? Maybe, but bad for the gamer. It severely limits the gamer’s options. Options confuse. Pick and choose which gameee u want and then systematically feed her your most potent game. all or nothing. That my dear is a high stake game…works on paper – not necessarily in real life though. Hmmm… In life should you game as many people as you can? Maybe not. Perhaps one should only game the one we think we’ve found, a contradiction in terms maybe? Exactly! So no need to have loads of watery game. I can tell you it doesn’t always work. Hmmmmm. In theory, boy meets girl, he’s interested, asks her out, not hangs in there interminably for the emotional satisfaction whilst offering no commitment. But sometimes you lose, no? Yup - most times I suspect, u lose sometimes. But it’s the ‘ultimate good’ scenario – cos there’s minimal collateral damage. when its all done and dusted – dude takes the risk of asking and losing if required. leaving her wanting more is a risky strategy, in my opinion. yup.. the truly nice guy doesn;t work that way.. if he’s in, he asks, if he’s not he defines the context of their connection and they move on if required…its not even a nice question, I think. That is a Man. yup.. i think so.. that is what a Man and a Woman do…but a boy would play and a girl i think we play along. very true. so….if a gamee wants a Woman and he himself is a Man, then no need to waste time and protect against collateral damage that is my opinion but then again easy does it yeah.. its often easier to just go with the flow.. sometimes I think that women actually want a gamer who does that. who goes with the flow? or who plays with them?. I dont like obscure, undefined, fluid, grey, nonsensical relationships. but then why buy the cow if the milk is free. Hehehehe. which is why i think the staying celibate thing makes sense – never mind what the bible says. it is a waste of MY valuable time. lol… true. and a waste of my valuable LOVING abilties and oh how can u compare women to cows? its called a metaphor – not a simile, however abstruse. I dont like ur analogy. its not a comparison of their structures.. but a comparison of their producing ability. maybe i should have used a tree then. why buy a mango tree when u can get the fruit free. its still offensive…. because the only thing a cow produces is milk., and u are saying the only worth of a woman is what she produces u should want the cow just the cow. But the metaphor is saying the only thing u value from the cow is her milk. u are missing my point.. real dude wants the cow and the milk. raz dude wants the milk only

NaPoWriMo Day 13 - Questions in Thirteen...

Mon, 13 Apr 2015 17:15:02 +0000

Does it pop and fizz, And crackle like a log flame Entrancing the mind?

Does it arrive like Dawn, sweep away the dark night Promise a new start?

Does it intoxicate Like the aroma of sweet wine, Bringing delirious Joy?

Or is it there in the Quietness of steady habits Neither loud nor brash?

Oh that some sage could tell.

NaPoWriMo Day 12 - Bliss in a Bowl

Mon, 13 Apr 2015 08:12:02 +0000

Spice - lemon and herb, sun-dried. Chicken - half, skin crisp. Taste - Bliss, in a bowl. --- For the Day 12 Prompt at NaPoWriMo… Was always going to be about my favourite meal, and table 11. :)

NaPoWriMo Day 11 - Crossroads

Sun, 12 Apr 2015 06:19:19 +0000

[Image Source]

You try to hide your fear behind a veneer of strength, try to put up a facade of calm but beyond the outer strength is the odd tear that slips, unguarded.

You stand bewildered at the fork of the road. Left? Right? Blending into an instructable sameness, certainly uncertain of where your Redemption Days lie.

To the confused, every coincidence is an omen, the whisper of God rustling the leaves one way, or another, but what if like lemmings one must jump?

NaPoWriMo Day 10 - Stalemate

Sat, 11 Apr 2015 08:37:02 +0000

John Sargent, A Dinner Table at Night (1884) Source A t first you ask to talk, but B urning deep within is the burden of words, a C acophony of voices in your head, D riving despair like a stake into wetted E arth, a haze that settles in and just won’t shift. You

F ind a time and place to have the talk, you G o with the flow, tell it like it is, whilst H e squirms beneath the weight of I nnocence lost, guilt like a pall of smoke drifting in. He J okes about not meaning IT, but there is a K nowing that transcends the clarification of intent, that L ooms larger than any image words alone can paint;

NaPoWriMo Day 9 - What Mother Said...

Fri, 10 Apr 2015 04:50:29 +0000

Shed Tears; Let pain like a malevolent fiend- Draw blood. Let go; Let the waves of a melancholic nostalgia break you. Pressure makes you whole again. Blame Fear; Blame Pain, blame sorrow deep within- Still Sing.

An old (anti-valentine) piece from 2010 re-broken for the Day Nine NaPoWriMo prompt… I’d let you decide what shape this calligram represents.. :)

NaPoWriMo Day 8 - For H, Something Stolen

Wed, 08 Apr 2015 16:14:59 +0000

For H - untitled, off prompt…

I said I wouldn’t cry Wouldn’t let the quivering of my lips win, break me.

I said I wouldn’t bend, Wouldn’t sag beneath this weight this unrelenting burden of grief

A harsh wind clasps Me by my throbbing throat Enrobing me in the scales Of its cold, wintery fingers.

Something’s stolen you From me, and all I have left Is hope, that when tomorrow comes The Sun will shine.

NaPoWriMo Day 7 - Money

Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:31:10 +0000

[ Image Source]

For sixty six and three some quid, Éloi* would have my heart But I’ll be damned if I accede With nary a fulsome fight

--- For the NaPoWriMo Prompt for Day 7, Money; a nod to my current love-hate relationship with work! * Éloi (or Eligius) is the patron saint of metalworkers, and by extension corrosion and materials engineers.:)

NaPoWriMo Day 6 - Morning

Tue, 07 Apr 2015 17:46:30 +0000

Sól’s halo kisses the quiescent sea, its morning shimmer her hello.

--- For the Day Six prompt at NaPoWriMo. Not so much a love poem as a short celebration of morning…

NaPoWriMo Day 5 - Erasing Dickinson

Mon, 06 Apr 2015 05:00:00 +0000

Jacob Wrestling With The Angel, Rembrandt (1659)

[ Source]

A little East of Jordan, Evangelists record, A Gymnast and an Angel Did wrestle long and hard Till morning touching mountain And Jacob, waxing strong, The Angel begged permission To Breakfast – to return! Not so, said cunning Jacob! “I will not let thee go Except thou bless me” – Stranger! The which acceded to Light swung the silver fleeces “Peniel” Hills beyond, And the bewildered Gymnast Found he had worsted God!

On Repeat: Broken Together - Casting Crowns

Sun, 05 Apr 2015 19:36:25 +0000

---

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete Could we just be broken together If you can bring your shattered dreams and Ill bring mine Could healing still be spoken and save us The only way we’ll last forever is broken together From the Album Thrive

NaPoWriMo Day 4 - Love

Sun, 05 Apr 2015 08:18:38 +0000

[ Pixshark]

I have your name etched on my skin, its lines and curves and slants edged in rich, deep black. I carry your face in my memory, nestled like a flash of bright white light saves the sameness of a dark spring night.

Your name is a call and echo, one that I murmur like the repeating melody of a descant; the twang of a bow’s string reverberating in the stillness of the valley air, the thud of an arrow steered unerringly as it rips into a doe’s ribcage.

NaPoWriMo Day 3- For Forgiveness

Sat, 04 Apr 2015 06:36:20 +0000

Forgive me if I disappear here, if like a dying Shooting star my flight expires in a flash of light, yielding To the encircling murk, this shroud that slowly stultifies.

Forgive me if my quivering lips neglect to tell my tale Of broken shattered things and distant pains that still remain And this unyielding weight; of things quotidian and unseen.

Why can’t skies have clouds and stars\* and enthralling moon light too? Why must a pilgrim find his way, on slippery pavements too?

NaPoWriMo Day 2 - Dog Star

Thu, 02 Apr 2015 22:29:41 +0000

[Source: Wikipedia]

The Dog Star flickers, Its garb a rainbow plume The view ethereal.

--- For the prompt Constellations

NaPoWriMo Day 1 - Call Me Ishmael

Wed, 01 Apr 2015 22:30:06 +0000

[ Image Source]

Call me Ishmael.Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sailabout a little and see the watery part ofthe world.It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth. Whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.There now is your insular city of the Manhattoes, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs—commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward. Its extreme downtown is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers there.

Collections

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:38:28 +0000

The Longform Wrap #3

Thu, 26 Mar 2015 20:30:59 +0000

A few of the more interesting pieces I stumbled on on the web during March… Enjoy

On Spock- Gukira: Leonard Nimoy died, and amidst the outpouring of grief and the eulogies, I found I related most with this piece by Gukira who said it better than I ever could

I do not have a single Spock moment—an image or narrative that stays with me. Unlike those who know how to write about TV and movies, I cannot recall a single episode, at least not by name. When I was younger, when I first encountered Spock in Nairobi, in reruns from the 80s, I encountered him as gesture: as the arched eyebrow, as the grip that caused others to faint, as the Vulcan mind meld.

On Repeat: Hawk Nelson - Drops In The Ocean

Sun, 22 Mar 2015 12:30:00 +0000

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If you could count the times I’d say you are forgiven It’s more than the drops in the ocean…

On Life, and a Song

Thu, 19 Mar 2015 20:30:21 +0000

The end of the day Remember the days When we were close to the edge And we’ll wonder How we made it through the night The end of the day Remember the way We stayed so close till the end We’ll remember it was me and you

On Repeat - No Longer Slaves - Bethel Music

Sun, 15 Mar 2015 19:01:00 +0000

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You split the sea So I could walk right through it All my fears were drowned in perfect love You rescued me So I could stand and sing I am a child of God

Right up there with my other Bethel Music favourite - You Make Me Brave…

Of trains... And being curious

Thu, 12 Mar 2015 20:30:00 +0000

[ Source]

They clamber aboard at Upminster - they being man, boy and girl - eventually ending up on the seat opposite us. We are on the C2C service from Ockendon towards London Fenchurch Street, the first leg of what we hope will be an uneventful train ride into town; towards Tottenham Court Road for a pitstop at Dominion Theatre for Hillsong. Of the trio who disrupt what peace we’ve had so far, the girl ends up by the window, the man by the aisle and the boy - who can’t have been more than 2 or 3 - in between them. The most noticeable thing about the man is his rather tight shirt, one which his stomach strains at ever so slightly and his flip flops. If I were a betting man, I’d place him as some sort of suburb dwelling city slicker, kicking about with the family on a weekend, slightly overdoing casual in the process, perhaps as his way to compensate for being cooped up in a suit and tie all week.

Freedom Is...

Sun, 01 Mar 2015 18:00:00 +0000

.. A deep work (what happens in you is greater than what happens to you, and is deeper than the workings of the circumstances and situations that frame our daily life), a quick work (God takes a long time to do something quick - as long as it takes for us to turn away from what ever else we look to for help on to Him) and a lasting work (what happens through you is meant to outlast you, and true success is measured by how much it empowers the next generation to extend the work that we do). Or so says the phenomenal Joel A’Bell whom I stumbled on in today’s Hillsong London pitstop..

Bits, Bobs and Writing Elsewhere...

Thu, 26 Feb 2015 20:30:00 +0000

Firmly mired in the middle of my February read, Ted Thompson’s debut novel The Land of Steady Habits, no thanks to a gruelling schedule at work with criminal deadlines, although I did manage to complete a profile of Selma star David Oyelowo for the church newsletter I occasionally write in. What intrigued me about that in the first place was how open he has been about his faith through out his career from theatre to Hollywood. Fascinating read, if I say so myself. Other than that most of my February reading was web based longform, a few of the more interesting ones being highlighted below:

On Loving, and (Not) Marrying...

Thu, 19 Feb 2015 20:30:12 +0000

[ Source]

When I was seventeen, I was sure that I would be married by the time I turned twenty-seven. I knew the date, Saturday the 7th of July 2007, who she would be and the song we would say our vows to. That year was my first away from home at University in a different city, one in which I cut my teeth creating a budget, spending money as I chose and defending my results to my father at the end of each month - all very responsible and grown up - or at least so I thought. There was no real science – or thought for that matter - to the timing, merely a wild stab in the dark. Ten years seemed far enough into the future to feel like forever, and my big Uncle F who seemed to embody adulthood perfectly turned twenty seven that year, or maybe thirty. Reality, I would later find out, was far more intention and hard slog than hit, hope and wishful thinking.

On praying, and changing...

Thu, 12 Feb 2015 22:35:43 +0000

[ Source]

One day you wake up with a sense of hunger, as though someone - or something - dredged the innards of your soul and all you want to do is talk to Him. The tug is so strong – and insistent – that you think nothing of kneeling on the cold, hard floor and pouring out your heart. It seems to work because by the time you’re done, you feel light headed and ready, ready to take on the world, bad guys, ghouls and all.

On Crime and Punishment

Thu, 05 Feb 2015 21:00:59 +0000

[ Source]

When my father would tan my hide - which was often in the years between turning twelve and escaping to University when I turned seventeen - he would send one of the many cousins who lived with us to fetch his preferred instrument, a lean, mean pankere, roll up his sleeves and matter-of-factly deliver a canning of epic proportions. The speed with which the instrument materialised time and time again - in spite of my best efforts - had me convinced that my cousins took a certain perverse, gleeful joy in seeing my bum tanned. Any number of infractions could have been the trigger for one of those in those days - taking apart his treasured gramophone for the heck of it (and not being able to put it back together again a la Humpty Dumpty), sneaking off to ‘dessert’, the patch of red earth where endless games of football took place - and young men where introduced to cigarettes and girls if you believed my mother, and once resorting to my fists to settle an altercation with E, the sharp mouthed imp who seemed to delight in getting under my skin. Early on, the tears flowed in copious amounts, until I mastered the act of tensing my buttocks just enough to mitigate the pain, the odd faint moan escaping my gritted teeth the only concession I allowed myself. Custom and practice dictated that, upon completion, I would have to say thanks and then sit through a debriefing session where my failings would be analysed, and alternate behavioural practices highlighted. In retrospect, the canning - intense as it was - was never truly the worst outcome. Infinitely worse was being left to stew in silent contemplation, particularly where my failings had occurred outside the confines of the house on 39th; my sense of guilt being complicated by the uncertainty around how much, if any, my father knew of my misdemeanours.

The Playlist #1

Mon, 02 Feb 2015 11:00:01 +0000

Veridia - Furious Love

But You say I am beautiful I don’t need the world’s approval Only you madly pursue me And jealously tell me I am worthy of Furious love

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Rapture Ruckus - Volcano (feat Jonathan Thulin)

Can’t hold me down Can’t hold me back Bout to blow like a volcano It’s not the end, time to begin Bout to blow like a volcano

2015 Reading #1

Thu, 29 Jan 2015 20:00:32 +0000

In addition to completing Moon Walking with Einstein, The Pioneer Detectives and significantly denting my copy of The Best American Essays 2014, my 2015 reading has consisted of loads of longform, which I am curating via Pocket. Below are a few of the more interesting pieces that caught my eye this month:

1. Learning to Drive - Adam Gopnik (The New Yorker): What we learn when we learn to drive?

… Driving a car more like walking on a sidewalk, [is] full of recognitions and hand waving and early avoidance, tamping down the sudden shocks that the combustion engine is heir to…

2015 Reading

Fri, 23 Jan 2015 17:52:14 +0000

Moonwalking with Einstein - Joshua Foer
The Pioneer Detectives -Konstantin Kakaes
The Best American Essays 2014 - JJ Sullivan (ed)
The Land of Steady Habits - Ted Thompson
Sexual Detox - Tim Challies
NW - Zadie Smith
Crafting the Personal Essay - Dinty W Moore
What’s so Amazing About Grace - Phillip Yancey
How To Be Alone - Jonathan Franzen
The Best American Essays 2013 - Cheryl Strayed (ed)
The Seven Good Years - Etgar Keret
Hunger of Memory: The Education of Richard Rodriguez - Richard Rodriguez
The Children Act - Ian McEwan
The Things They Carried- Tim O’Brien
Something to Answer For - P.H. Newby

Of Rust, and Metaphors

Thu, 22 Jan 2015 19:30:44 +0000

[ Source]

Amidst the hurly burly that was the last quarter of 2014 at work - not helped by the unease set off by sliding oil prices, and questions around the future viability of North Sea oil and gas given lifting costs and taxes - the crazy gang team at work made time out to head across town for a day to reflect on how we’d performed through the year and agree objectives for the 2015. For what it’s worth it was good craic, much better than I expected given the strong personalities within the team, and the sense of simmering conflict, even though it was a tad too reliant on woozy, zen-ish things like sitting in a circle and taking time out to reflect in silence.

Reflecting on the Scottish Referendum: A Call to Social Justice

Thu, 15 Jan 2015 23:03:27 +0000

Scottish-independence-referendum-flags

A few months ago, people across the length and breadth of the nation of Scotland went to the polls to answer the question, “Should Scotland be an independent country?” At stake was the very future of the United Kingdom, and Scotland’s place in it. On one hand, the governing Scottish National Party staked its reputation on a ‘Yes’ vote, alongside the Scottish Greens and the Scottish Socialists under the aegis of Yes Scotland, whilst Scottish Labour, the Scottish Conservative Party, and the Scottish Liberal Democrats took a pro-Union Stance under the Better Together banner.

Wrapping up the Christmas Party Silly Season

Thu, 08 Jan 2015 20:12:42 +0000

Each year, my Christmas party silly season kicks off earlier than the last - this time on the 24th of November - the venue being the soon to close Marcliffe set in the lush woodlands of the Royal Deeside. We are there at the behest of the black and minority ethnic engineering association, for an evening of music, dance, networking and speeches to celebrate the fabulous year they have had of making engineering sexy to BME kids across the ‘shire. My initial response of excitement when news of the gala breaks segues into one of trepidation as the day draws near, the black tie dress code nothing like my far more typical jeans and t-shirt fare. On the day, just before leaving my house, I find out that I have somehow failed to spot the one key fact, arrivals being scheduled for 6.30pm, not the 7pm I have planned for, cue a rushed final phase of preparation and a quick hop into my old banger for the drive across town. I arrive almost forty five minutes late, thanks to a wrong turn and some traffic down Great Western road. In the end, it turns out I really shouldn’t have been that worried, people are still arriving at 8.30pm, african time I guess. The event itself goes well - overly posh food aside - I get to prance and pose for pictures with a few old chums, and a wide range of people; current students, professionals across a range of Engineering professions and a number of industry stalwarts. By the time I sneak off at 11.30pm, there is no doubt in my mind it has been a thoroughly engaging evening.

2015 Goals

Thu, 01 Jan 2015 16:59:19 +0000

Three main achievements will make 2015 a ‘perfect’ year, to all intents and purposes, viz:

Spiritual growth as evidenced by a regular routine of bible study and prayer
A new Technical M&C role at an oil and gas operator
Getting married

The wider goals and targets I’m looking to achieve for the year though, aligned with my personal SWOT analysis and the refocused Life Plan are:

Spiritual
- Achieve 80% Daily Bible Reading and Prayer - explore the Lectio Divina process
- Average 6 (of 8) church days per month
- Attend FOL Morning Prayers twice a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) – 80% target
Physical and Health
- Get fitter – YE target is 15% body fat, weight under 80kg
- Get blood pressure below 140/90 consistently (explore potassium replacement/ supplements as a quantified self project)
- Average 6 hours of sleep/day >80% of the time
- Use the gym 3 times a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday) – target 80%
- Track sodium and attempt to bring within recommended limits
Social and People:
- Track B contact time (Target > 1 hour per day); track completions in Habit List
- Host a hangout for my 2015 birthday (Aberdeen)
- Drag my London Blogger peeps today for a meal over summer 2015 (CaramelD, Simeon, NoLimit, ToniAnni, Aloted, MizKeji)
- Maintain weekly phone calls home to Dad
Career & Work
- Become staff M&C Engineer at an O&G Operator;
- Attend monthly industry working group meetings – target 80% of months with a meeting (one of ICorr, IMarEST or AFBE) – track in Habit List
- Deliver Work Projects
  - TI Anomaly Risk Review
  - TI Vibration Fatigue Strategy and Implementation
  - ECE Project
  - Procedure Updates - Integrity Risk Screening (PoF Guidance, DAF Risk Assessment)
  - MU Integrity Management - Inspections and Topside Pressure System Integrity
Financial:
- Save 30% of net earnings,
- Reduce total spend; 2015 YE target of £35k
- Grow net worth by 50% (total - investments + savings + pension growth,+ assets, etc)
- Rebalance net worth and elements; buy a house, build ISA back up to 10k, invest excess in index funds
Mental and Personal Development:
- Deliver on a 25 book reading plan (Aim to cover Christian Classics, Literary Classics, Popular Fiction, Current Christian & Non-fiction with 5 each per category)
- Blog here at archive.rustgeek.me at least once a week (Plan is to post something >500 words every Tuesday)
- Learn to write VBA for Excel and Macros
- Learn to play a musical instrument - need to decide between the acoustic guitar and the saxophone, target is to present something at eXpressions 2015)
- Attend Structural Integrity course at Imperial College
Causes & Charity:
- Catch up on my first fruit offering from pay rise in Q1 2013 (as a one time gift if possible at the end of February)
- Write to Moises and RosieMarie twice each during the year
General, Projects and Bucket List Items
- Complete a modified Whole30 or Ketogenic Diet for an entire month
- Walk or run 5 miles daily for a month
- Read 5 Booker Prize Winners (Bucket List)
- Attend the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
- Watch the Ball drop in New York’s Time Square

Year End Review - 2014

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 22:03:03 +0000

General 2014 was an emotional wringer of a year, perhaps the most difficult one I’ve ever had, thanks in part to losing H, and O, but also because of difficult transitions at work. All in all, it’s been a largely forgettable year, with spots of delirious joy in between. Here, in each of the seven focus areas undergirding the life plan are a little bit more detailed thoughts on how my 2014 went with a (R)ed, (A)mber or (G)reen indicator.

2014 in (Personal) charts

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 14:25:46 +0000

The Year In Reading 2014

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 06:37:50 +0000

Teaching My Mother How To Give Birth - Warsan Shire
The Outsider - Albert Camus
Merry Christmas, Alex Cross - James Patterson
The Map of Love - Ahdaf Soueif
Finally Free: Fighting For Purity with the Power of Grace - Heath Lambert
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do and How To Change - Charles Duhigg
On Writing - Steven King
Love At First Click - Laurie Davis
The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
Everyday is for the thief- Teju Cole
On Beauty - Zadie Smith
Don’t Tell Mum I work on the Oil Rigs - Paul Carter
The Inheritance of Loss - Kiran Desai
Frank Sinatra Has A Cold: And Other Essays - Gay Talese
Another Man’s War - Barnaby Phillips
A Delicate Truth - John le Carré

2014 Actions...

Tue, 30 Dec 2014 19:44:45 +0000

A review of the goals I set out to achieve in 2014.

Learn to drive, buy a car: Completed (Passed driving test in April, bought a car in October- completed)
Buy a house: Progressed (Made an unsuccessful offer for a city centre apartment. Waiting on feedback on further developments as winning bid seemed to have fallen through, definitely one to focus on in 2015)
Improve professionally: Completed (Certified to API 571 - Advanced Corrosion and Materials in April and NACE Senior Corrosion Technologist in December, wrote API 580 exam, waiting on results in Q1 2015)
Find two mentors, meet once a month to catch up and review where I am: Progressed (Held regular meetings with O through the year, met G twice and K once, another action to follow up and KPI through 2015)
Travel: Completed (8 London Trips, 2 Manchester ones and an enforced Nigeria trip; failed to complete my Great North American Road Trip for the 35th, one to chase up next year also)
Develop a daily practice of prayer, bible study and meditation: Progressed (Bought NIV Devotional Bible and tracked completions in Habit List)
Blog for 30 days straight: Completed (Used the Art of Manliness 30 Days to a Better Man challenge as a template)
Save minimum of 30% of net earnings, reduce annual spend to pre-2013 levels (£30k): Failed (Car purchase, helps for family and travel to Nigeria made saving especially difficult)
Communicate and Engage the people in my life better: Progressed (Call Dad once a week now, need to give B the focus she also needs as we progress,wrote to sponsored children once each and sent a Christmas gift to RosieMarie)
Deliver on the 30 book reading plan: Failed (Managed 16 of the 30, should do better)
Community Engagement - Church Publications, Tech and Young Adults Group: Completed (Delivered four articles for the publications team and helped with video edits and script delivery for the Broadcasting/ Tech team, c0-sponsored the Young Adults Christmas party)
Get fit and lean: Failed (Up to 90kg in weight and measured body fat at 23%; epic fail)

All in, there or thereabouts with three clear failures (savings and the reading plan). Clear focus areas for 2015 already standing out then I guess.

Light of Christmas - Owl City (feat TobyMac)

Thu, 25 Dec 2014 09:24:23 +0000

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Building the Life Plan - My SWOT Analysis

Tue, 23 Dec 2014 15:31:30 +0000

Key 2015 Actions

Attend one professional meeting per month - ICorr, IMarEST or NACE Aberdeen - to build professional network and create opportunities to volunteer (AFBE)
Learn VBA programming for Excel
Speak up more/ contribute more vocally at meetings - aim to contribute at least once per work/team meeting
Explore options to close pipelines/subsea/design skills gaps

Rethinking the Life Plan

Sun, 21 Dec 2014 23:52:06 +0000

Several times over the last couple of years, different pieces of my life plan have been documented; seven priorities, three life goals and five core values to name a few. A milestone birthday and the looming end to the year felt like triggers for a thorough review of these various bits and pieces, the objective being to meld these bits and bobs documented at different times into a coherent whole - if that was indeed possible. Thankfully one of the guidance documents that under pinned some of the earlier envisioning activities was Matt Hyatt’s Creating Your Personal Life Plan, which I still had a copy of. That provided some of the high level guidance for this review, modified to better fit my thinking of where I am at the moment. So here goes.

Always Returning

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:48:05 +0000

[ Source]

Whilst rustling through my documents at the weekend - I forget what prompted the decision to take on the Sisyphean task of rummaging through drawers filled with several years’ worth of papers of varying vintage - it struck me that it was now nearly five years to the day since I dragged myself, bags in tow, off the East Coast train from Newcastle to Aberdeen to begin a new life of sorts. Ditching my Nigerian job for grad school 18 months before meant that nostalgia - and twenty-something years’ worth of memories - counted for little; pragmatism was very much the defining consideration. In a sense, Newcastle, and then Aberdeen afterwards was about tearing everything up and starting afresh from scratch, pretty much the recovery from a self-imposed apocalypse. The driver for that decision was a sense of injustice at the Nigerian work environment; five years of being unaligned (being from the minority in a minority state didn’t help), a sense of having hit a glass ceiling and the desire to prove myself on a global sense all contributing.

Did We Do Any Learning - Savouring Memories

Sun, 14 Dec 2014 17:17:32 +0000

A few thoughts – with the benefit of a few months since losing H - on living and learning…

Life’s lessons are neither bleeding obvious nor palatable. All we possess for sure are the moments that we share with our friends and loved ones. The challenge is to enjoy and maximise the moments, not putting off the kind word, the lingering touch, or the act of kindness we know they deserve.

Promise Keeper - Fred Hammond

Sun, 23 Nov 2014 11:05:40 +0000

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♫ I can hold You to Your Word, You’re never wavering,You won’t turn, For I am sure, You are the Promise Keeper

Déjà vu

Thu, 20 Nov 2014 03:29:52 +0000

For Mag 246: Highway

A sense that Time has Stood dead still, yet hurtled by; This us, déjà vu

A Week's Worth...

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 19:59:38 +0000

Monday Driving into work on Monday morning, the sense is one of wonder at where the weekend went. Not so long ago – my knackered brain thinks – it was Friday afternoon, and thoughts of a restful weekend filled my mind but here, tottering on the verge of a return to work, the memory of the weekend already seems like a blur. Looking back, the two things that stand out are a cringe worthy gaffe, one occasioned by a particularly blatant reading of a certain situation on my part, and a head scratching conversation with S.

Passing Time...

Tue, 04 Nov 2014 12:53:12 +0000

For Mag244 - Passing Time,

Daylight drives The delightful linger Of last Night’s Dreams Down deserted streets.

The memories of lost days Are all that we have left, Distorted by the Edge of Now, As it pales Into the grey haze Of accreting history

Here, on the edge of Reality is a sense Of treading water, Of marking time Of trawling a parched, Bland land, Of War And peace, and silence And of Endings

Dan Bremnes - Beautiful...

Mon, 03 Nov 2014 04:23:47 +0000

Sleepless… :(

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Every day I rise I wake up to find You’re surrounding me with endless mercy You renew my mind You’re bringing me to life Oh God

The 90 Day Weight Loss Challenge

Fri, 31 Oct 2014 17:55:36 +0000

Baselines

Weight - 87kg, 26.1% body fat (Tanita Body Composition Monitor)
Waist - 88cm,
Hips - 108cm,

The Plan

Exercise every day - Run (Gym or outdoors) on alternate days, body strength straining at home on other days; utilise the fitnut plan from work.
Eat well - Resetting the diet to same time last year - no grains, rice or gluten containing food; meat, nuts and vegetables primarily

Not my finest hour...

Thu, 16 Oct 2014 05:07:10 +0000

A large pizza, roast chicken topped off with a Ben & Jerry’s. Proof - if ever any was needed - that I need a step change ASAP…

Brunch...

Tue, 14 Oct 2014 18:00:19 +0000

The things with kids - at least non-Nigerian ones, if my experience was indicative - is that they do not hesitate to call BS-ing adults out. In a moment of subtle pressure - and not for the first time - the unofficial God daughter got me to agree to take them for a meal to the Frankie & Benny’s across the road from mine. At the time, I was only slightly worried - it was late August, and the school holidays were not till October. I assumed that the kids, being kids, would have forgotten by the time October rolled along. My bunch didn’t, which was how I ended up dragging two children - with a third, the chief instigator, planning to arrive after a birthday party - through the doors at just past 12.30 on a Saturday afternoon; as far removed from my typical Saturday as could be. No gym, or light cleaning or an early Cineworld movie to look forward to.

Finally, Fall...

Tue, 07 Oct 2014 17:52:08 +0000

Only a few days ago, the sun was out - weakly warm but out regardless, even though the first day of autumn was officially past. As I made my daily lunch time walk from the office to the Boots Store at the back end of Union Square, the sense was one of making hay whilst the sun still shone, enjoying the final blast of warmth, before Autumn took hold. An old lady, bless her heart, bumped into me as we waited for the little green man before crossing the road into the parking lot adjacent to work. In fairness to her I had my nose in my phone - make of that what you will - but that little bump did create the context for a short quick chat whilst we waited. Not so long ago, the arrival of spring, and the warmth it portended was the focus.

Links 04.10.2014

Sat, 04 Oct 2014 18:15:47 +0000

A few of the interesting bits and bobs I’ve stumbled on over the last few days

Hope for a cleaner, cheaper, oil less future just became a wee stronger. Nigeria beware?
@forakin on why we should all blog. For a more in depth analysis, Andrew Sullivan’s seminal piece from 2008 offers a longer read.
The £11bn conundrum. The scale of the problem or an opportunity?
Khoi on the design of the iPhone 6. Unimpressed is the word
Education as a tool for disrupting and challenge paradigms - the NY Times weighs in.
Ebola contained.. Phew -
Elon Musk, on Mars
On lightning, and being struck by it.
On Gabriel Garcia Marquez and the Modern Novel.
Pay and gender gaps, closing?

About Town - Conversations, Nandos and Catching Up on Reading

Tue, 09 Sep 2014 19:01:58 +0000

Somehow last Friday, I found myself at Nandos. Somehow doesn’t quite tell the full story given it had more than a hint of conscious effort to it, and my history with the darned place. I suspect it had more to do with a sense of longing than anything else seeing as the last time I was here was in early July. Then, the closest thing to the distinctly autumnal chill I now felt was the distant memory of spring’s tail as she ambled past, urged on by our nearly - but not quite summery - summer. I managed to score my regular table, number 11, proceeding to order the self-same meal I have ordered on each of the 100 + times since May 2012 that I’ve been here – half a chicken in lemon and herb, and a mixed leaf salad.

Baselines...

Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:37:14 +0000

Rude awakening from my GP visit a few days ago with my weight in the region of 90kg from the 82 I weighed at the start of the year - this represents a very comprehensive regression. The target is to return to 80kg by YE. The Plan?

Whole30, starting on 2nd September.
Drink 2 litres of water daily; start the day off with a litre of ice cold water and drink green tea exclusively during the day.
Exercise thrice a week - 30 mins each time

In tandem with the above, the plan is to wake up my various attempts at self tracking -very much against the Whole30 ethos I might add.

Mixed Bag

Wed, 27 Aug 2014 20:17:18 +0000

Popped into the GP’s for my six monthly blood pressure review. Mixed results - good on the blood pressure count (124/82), bad on the weight (up to 88.5kg from a low of 82kg at the turn of the year). Way too much pizza messing with my metabolism I guess. Roll on the Whole30 then - 2 days in!

Turning Thirty Five - The Strategic Five Year Plan

Fri, 15 Aug 2014 23:40:41 +0000

Turning thirty-five could not have come at a less opportune moment - given the summer of loss that we have had. The silver lining though is that it offers an opportunity to pause, take stock and ask oneself what the focus for the next few years should be. My life plan has come together in bits and bobs over the last few years - three life goals, seven priorities and five core values, a tad incoherent if the truth must be told.

The Way The World Ends: On Loss, and Lostness

Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:09:23 +0000

It is sometime after 5pm – between chomping down on a very meaty beef burger and swigging from a can of apple juice - that the call comes in. Up until then, I have been having the exact weekend I had in mind when I dragged myself away from work to catch the 727 to Aberdeen Dyce airport a few days earlier: go-karting and then a BBQ, with the prospect of Lakeside shopping with B. to come. The scene is one of self-indulgent relaxation; two grills fully stocked with burgers, chicken drumsticks and barbecue meat on the go, little children running about, wives and girlfriends munching on burgers and sharing intimate gossip moments, and men standing around the grill sipping from cans and surveying the scene - wife, 2.5 kids, picket fence and a few hundred quid to burn on a splurge in tow. It takes a while – probably the better part of ten minutes - before the gravity of the news begins to sink in. When I return to the three-way conversation I was having before the call, B senses there is something wrong. In response to her quizzical look, I motion for her to break out of the conversation and explain what has happened. All told, twenty minutes after hearing the news – give or take – my mood has morphed from indulged, self-congratulation to inner turmoil as I attempt to digest the news in the relative quiet of B’s.

For H: What I wanted to say...

Wed, 06 Aug 2014 23:31:58 +0000

I spoke on behalf of the family at H’s funeral. The plan was to go over the points raised here in sequence, mid way through it, I broke down and cried uncontrollably. Here is the original text, for the record…

My earliest, lucid memories of growing up are inextricably linked to green bowls of soup and stew, and Sunday afternoon cooking marathons. Back in those days, in the early eighties, extenuating circumstances required that the family lived in two homes in two different cities. One of the enduring images from that time is the meticulous attention to detail and the foresight to plan long term with which both homes were run with incredible efficiency.

About Town: 172,800 seconds of summer...

Tue, 15 Jul 2014 22:34:53 +0000

If you accept the recurrent narrative - regurgitated without so much as a bated eyelid by everyone from office mates to cab drivers - summer out here lasts a mere 172,800 seconds; two days. Making my way home, by way of the ASDA superstore, it is not hard to accept that as fact, given there are scores of people milling about, or seated in the outdoor stalls the pubs on Castlegate - most notably Black Friars, Carltons and Sinatras - have managed to set up. The two recurring decimals are pints of golden brew and bare arms of all shapes and colours; the sun deigned to shine in all its glory today, and we its doting worshippers have come out to play.

On Repeat #21 - All Things New - Hillsong Worship

Sun, 06 Jul 2014 13:39:00 +0000

All Things New has quickly become my favourite song from the 2014 Hillsong Worship Album - No Other Name

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My faith is in things unseen Bringing life where it has not been Speaking things that are not As if they were I am alive in You

KPIs and Reviews - June 2014

Tue, 01 Jul 2014 18:56:42 +0000

Day 30 - Get a straight razor shave

Mon, 30 Jun 2014 19:31:23 +0000

Day 30 - Get a straight razor shave

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Fortunately or unfortunately, facial hair isn’t something I’m abundantly blessed with; a point both MsOreoluwa and ToniAnni have variously pointed out doesn’t bode well for finding Mrs S. I went for the next best thing, a shaved head at the Turkish Barbers on the corner of Crown and Union in the ‘Deen. Can’t really complain about the look, if I say so myself.

#27, 28, 29 - Better Man in 30 Days

Sun, 29 Jun 2014 19:57:20 +0000

Day 27 - Start a Book: Currently ten books into my thirty book plan for the year. Have two on the go at the moment - Jostein Gaarder’s Sophie’s World and Zadie Smith’s On Beauty. Hopefully I manage to complete them by the end of next month.

Day 28 - Write a Love Letter: Very much work in progress. I suspect this is one I will have come back to again and again. What is clear is that it wasn’t love at first sight by any account - I am far too rational for that - but over time I find a bond building, and increasing joy in the simple things.

Day 28 - Write a Love Letter

Sat, 28 Jun 2014 19:50:30 +0000

when i first saw you it was not love at first sight - but somehow i sensed it was the start of something momentous. for the first few weeks my mind was elsewhere - stuck in a pain induced haze from the last one i thought could be thd one - against my better judgement. truth was i was stuck in an infinite loop, a bullet train headed to no where but

Day 26 - Take The Marine Corp Fitness Test

Fri, 27 Jun 2014 09:19:03 +0000

Day 26 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Take the Marine Corp Fitness Test

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Managed the 3 mile in 29.5 minutes (includes the very leisurely 3 minute warm up), 46 crunches in 2 minutes and a barely there 4 pull ups for a total of 95 from a maximum 300 points possible. Not great but better than I thought given how a certain HIIT youtube video kicked my ass on Day 24.

#24, 25

Wed, 25 Jun 2014 17:03:52 +0000

Took day 24 a tad too far - no thanks to this video(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNZe01hqMW8).. Knackered! No debts of any description so will pass on Day 25…

Home stretch!

Days 22, 23

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 22:41:12 +0000

Day 22 - Improve your posture and Day 23 - Learn a manual skill

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I didn’t need the prompt to tell me I had terrible posture. Managed to set up my chair at work as intended - to provide better support to my lower back and at the right height. Hopefully I begin to reap the dividends of improved posture, not least a less prominent keg.

On manual skills; I installed ceiling fans for fun in my undergraduate days and still know my way with a soldering iron, a legacy of my previous pastime - tinkering with the innards of dead radios. I happen to also be the go to guy when my buddy O needs to set up a new bed or move stuff around in his house… Could use a few more automobile related skills as I haven’t changed a flat tire in nearly six years. Have to but that Z4 roadster first (and win the lottery before that or something).

Day 21 - Write Your Own Eulogy

Sun, 22 Jun 2014 17:39:58 +0000

Day 21 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Write Your Own Eulogy

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Born in the late seventies in the shadows of the Somorika mountain range in the then Bendel State of Nigeria, the few months he spent there before high tailing it across the country to Ife where his mother was studying for a degree set the tone for the rest of his life - pretty much not bound to any physical location but an aspiring global citizen. Seven or so months in Ife were followed by a couple of years in Imeri, then Igueben and then Benin where his academician father was studying for a PhD. The back end of the eighties saw a move to the adjoining town of Ekpoma where he would spend the bulk of his childhood.

Day 20 - Perform Service

Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:52:47 +0000

Day 20 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Perform Service

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Falls on the day when I volunteer with the Tech team at church… Obviously from behind :)

Day 19 - Schedule a Physical Exam

Thu, 19 Jun 2014 16:27:28 +0000

Day 19 of the Better Man in 30 Days Challenge - Schedule a Physical Exam

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I am required to get an offshore medical every two years which covers quite a few of the items specifically referenced on the challenge viz blood pressure, weight/BMI, vision, lung function and audiometry. ECGs, bloods and urinalysis get taken six monthly for other reasons hence I consider the challenge covered between both. The main exclusion is the probing and probing of the man parts for potential prostrate problems.

Day 18 - Find Your N.U.T.s

Wed, 18 Jun 2014 19:32:45 +0000

Day 18 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Find Your N.U.T.s

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Your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms that is. For me these are inextricably linked to the Core Values from Day 1- Faith, Family, Continuous Improvement, Mentoring and Health. Soooo, here goes:order:

Living out a real world faith - continuously seeking ways to translate the undergirding principles of love and consideration for others, and social justice - will be the single most important thing that will guide my relationships with others;
I will honour my daily spiritual practice and journaling;
My family, and adequately fulfilling the various roles I play in it - Son,Brother, (future) Husband and Father - will always take precedence over other considerations;
I will schedule regular (monthly at least) time to go through plan-do-review cycles for each of my core connections and the roles I play in them - friends and family, professional and within the wider civil/social context;
I will take care of my body - eating well and exercising.

Day 17 - Talk to Three Strangers

Tue, 17 Jun 2014 18:01:36 +0000

Day 17 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Talk to three strangers.

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One of the more difficult challenges for me, given spontaneity and friendliness are not exactly my forte. Just about pulled through though I think

Ran into a (relatively) new (Nigerian) start in the building I work at whilst on my way out to grab lunch from M&S. A quick search in the people directory - and a dive into LinkedIn - turned up an interesting factoid - even though his current job description is as far away form it as it possibly can be, his first degree is in Materials and Metallurgy.
Chatted up the sales attendant at M&S whilst she was running my items though the scanner. The lunch time shift can be draining given it is as much of a revolving door/capacity optimisation exercise as there can be. I swear her eyes lit up when I asked how her day was (I might have imagined it only though).
Blew over an hour on a good natter with the office mates, something I’ve not done a lot of lately given all the (far more) serious things that have been on my mind lately..Totally claiming this as in my humble opinion it fulfils the spirit of the challenge :)

Another one I should work a tad harder towards improving on..

Day 16 - Create a Budget.... and catching up

Mon, 16 Jun 2014 17:56:57 +0000

Fell behind on the Better Man in 30 days challenge thanks to a quick trip down south to sort out passport issues amongst other things. Methinks I’ve largely caught up now.

Day 9 - Take a woman on a date: Caught up with J at at the Rodozio Rico over the weekend. No selfies were allowed, this will have to suffice as proof.

Day 14 - Write a letter to your father: A bit of a mixed bag here really given the fact that age and time have mellowed the quite strong views I held to in the past. Doesn’t help that like me he’s not really an emotionally engaged person. Loads to be thankful for but quite a few areas we could have done better at. Fingers crossed going forward I guess

Day 14 - Write a Letter to Your Father

Mon, 16 Jun 2014 17:34:40 +0000

Dear Dad,

My earliest memories of us are of me perched on my small chair looking up to you whilst you swotted into the early hours of the night, huge coffee mugs making their procession down your throat with the regularity of clockwork. It must have been back in ‘85, as in my memories I see Gracie . there too, right in the middle of your PhD years back in Benin.

Day 13 - Declutter Your Life

Fri, 13 Jun 2014 23:11:56 +0000

Cleaned out the closet and identified a couple of bags of old clothes that need ditching. Plan is to leave them out for any of the charities who send bags around from time to time. Paper and mail, and electronics need doing. Solid if unspectacular start - the hard work here starts now I think.

Day 12 - Create Your Bucket List

Thu, 12 Jun 2014 17:55:52 +0000

Day 12 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Create Your Bucket List

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Currently working through my bucket list - aptly (if I say so myself) tagged 40 things by 40 seeing the 40th birthday is the next major birthday on the horizon - and no I am not 35 yet.. Closed out a few things already some of which include making CEng, losing 20kg and taking a boat ride down the Chicago river. A few stand out as sore points on which I have made zero progress whatsoever on - visiting the children I sponsor via WorldVision and reading every book that has been awarded the Man Booker prize being prime examples.

Day 11 - Give Yourself a Testicular Exam

Wed, 11 Jun 2014 19:40:28 +0000

In ship shape…. As far as I can tell…

Day 10 - Memorize 'If'

Tue, 10 Jun 2014 19:13:19 +0000

Day 10 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Memorize ‘if’

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Two upsides to exercising the memory stood out from the prompt - improved writing and a more interesting personality. Unfortunately, I am blaming my mental fatigue from the last month of swotting exams for my less than stellar performance on this challenge. The plan - if I can call it that - is to keep plodding away at it till the end of the month. If I succeed, and I work up the courage, I just might place a recording of the poem from memory on here..

Day 8 - Start a Journal

Sun, 08 Jun 2014 21:18:47 +0000

Another one which was on the plan for 2014 in any case - middling performance not withstanding. The app of choice is DayOne - on my Mac, iPad and iPhone. The choice of time is first thing in the morning, hopefully that will help set the tone for the day and help kick off the day introspectively.

Fingers crossed, the next few weeks will tell how this latest iteration goes.

Day 7 - Reconnect with an Old Friend

Sat, 07 Jun 2014 22:55:55 +0000

Day 7 of the Better Man in 30 days Challenge - Reconnect with an Old Friend

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The challenge was to reconnect with an old friend, by letter, email or phone (not Twitter). Cheated (slightly) as I did my reconnection over iMessage. A tad more in keeping with the spirit of reconnecting than a letter given the back and forth of instant messaging I think.. Or not.. Claiming this as done though, regardless. :)

Day 6 - Update Your Resume

Fri, 06 Jun 2014 20:35:40 +0000

Day 6 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Update Your Resume

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Another apt prompt - given I’ve been feeling like I could use a job change for a while, and I have only just received pass notification from another exam in April. Another day, another review which shows I am headed in the right direction but am still missing some critical research skills… That PhD can’t be put off for much longer at this rate :(

Day 5 - Cultivate Your Gratitude

Thu, 05 Jun 2014 21:31:49 +0000

Day 5 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge – Cultivate Your Gratitude

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Quite a few things to be thankful for, in no particular order:

Friends who consistently come through. Needing to make a significant wire transfer earlier this week, a quick call to a couple of old chums resulted in a speedy resolution. Top lads C and O.
Family - warts and all. And mine, myself included, do have warts!
J whose patience with my stuttering, complicated self is a refreshing breath of air;
Work - and the opportunities it has presented over the last ten years and counting. A certain stint somewhere in my past still keeps opening doors. Grateful.
The internet and how easily it provides solutions - stumbled on an excel tutorial on spark-lines which might have saved a side project I am working on. Not one of the things I miss about those heady Eket days it must be said.
(Not so) Little children, particularly F, my friend O’s precocious daughter. Hanging with her gives me hope for the future. I am not too damaged to make a half decent dad.
Success in one more exam, no lengthy post nominals to append to my name unfortunately but small steps in the right direction I think.
Health - no new major scares (as far as I know).
Great work conversations - currently talking an old work friend through a weighty decision. That she and I are still in contact nearly five years after we last worked together is so much more reassuring given my current work situation.
And Nandos – ’nuff said.

Day 4 - Increase Your Testosterone

Wed, 04 Jun 2014 18:19:31 +0000

Day 4 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Increase your testosterone

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The ‘symptoms’ pretty much describe me at the moment, even though I like to think the drivers are slightly different for me, given I am chasing a lot of things at the moment. In an ideal world, #9 would have been the perfect shoo, but real life dictates, and I went with actions 6, 7, 8. Lunch was a Boots salad bowl whilst dinner was grilled chicken topped up with almonds as a snack.

Day 3 - Find a Mentor

Tue, 03 Jun 2014 18:09:24 +0000

Day 3 of the Better Man in 30 days Challenge - Find a Mentor

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In thinking through today’s challenge, I realised there is a shed load of historical mentors I had to acknowledge - the Artful dodger (so nicknamed by his own father no less) whose MO always seemed to be to stay just on the right side of the law at all times (he was the inspiration to go into engineering), OO, the social studies teacher who intervened when yours truly was nabbed trying to pilfer a book from the secondary school library, Dr K at the Steel plant where I interned in 2000 who sowed the seeds of an appreciation for materials in me and DEL and MMK who held my hand as I took my first shaky steps as a rust geek back between 2003 and 2008. All that is part of why mentoring and mentorship are core values I intend to hold on to dearly both as a giver and a recipient.

Day 2 - Shine Your Shoes

Mon, 02 Jun 2014 20:34:02 +0000

Day 2 - Shine Your Shoes

Shining my shoes is usually not top of my to dos on any given day, given I consider them functional items of clothing rather than providing any aesthetic value. Notwithstanding, in the spirit of the challenge I decided to give my favourite, battle hardened Doc Martens some love.. From the looks of it, there’s still some life left in those beasts. Given my sense of pride and accomplishment upon completing today’s task, I suspect I’ll strut about a tad more than usual in the office tomorrow. :) Or maybe I’m just being overly enthused with my dodgy technique..

Day 1: Define Your Core Values

Sun, 01 Jun 2014 20:42:46 +0000

These have gone through several iterations in the past, but having taken time again to consider this the five below stood out as my core values. It’s obvious I need to work on several of these to make them front and centre, given the reality of my life in certain areas doesn’t reflect these values. But don’t they say a problem identified is half solved?

Faith: God, faith and how these interact in the real world and translate to personal and worldview integrity.
Family : Nuclear and the future family :)
Continuous Improvement: In three main areas - professionally, relationally and in delivering on the stated objective of contributing to life in the civic space. The intent is to actively seek out opportunities to learn both formally and informally for self improvement and a broadened knowledge base; challenging myself in the three main areas identified above.
Mentoring: As someone who has benefitted greatly from the input of knowledgeable others both in my personal and professional life, taking an active interest in the lives of others with the aim of improving them is something I want to do more of.
Health and Healthy Living: The ‘rigours’ of being a hands on rustgeek demand that I pass a medical exam every two years. The numbers from the last check in 2013 were a real wake up call - no thanks to shed loads of pizza and salt. That prompted a rethink and serious action to get the weight and junk food binges down to good effect. Getting healthy, staying healthy, leveraging technology to identify and eliminate risk factors and all the little decisions that feed into that has to be be more of a focus going forward.

Intermissions....

Sun, 01 Jun 2014 16:06:21 +0000

Time and time again one finds himself back here, searching for what, one knows not. Between life, work and the issues inherent in them, my big resolve to do life in 30 day chunks limped along before dying in March. What little time to breathe I had was spent swotting for a couple of exams, critical components of the personal development plan for the year.

Coming into June, I thought the Better Man in 30 days challenge from the Art of Manliness represented a good, meaty challenge to get my teeth into, a potential keystone habit if you like. For one, manliness and man-making represent a key strand that runs through and undergirds the Life Plan. In addition, blogging for an entire month was also one of the ideas for a thirty day challenge at the beginning of the year. Thanks to the two twitter BFFs - OluSimeon and SingleNigerian, any doubts I might have had about going through with the plan have been nuked thanks to public accountability.

Cabbie Conversations

Wed, 21 May 2014 20:49:32 +0000

On a typical day, the scene that meets the eye at the head of the airport taxi rank is one of barely controlled chaos - the line of passengers snaking along into the distance, two or three cabs pulling up every few minutes to whittle away at the edgy crowd and the harried dispatcher somehow managing to maintain a semblance of sanity in the middle of it all defining the mad half hour immediately following the arrival of an inbound flight. Today there is a line of taxis and no passengers waiting. Two men - and a woman - stand at the head of the taxi rank, talking. Their conversation is deep and intense - there are hands flailing about, gesturing wildly and a few guffaws here and there - such that I have to clear my throat to attract their attention. At the second time of clearing my throat, I succeed. They split up like people surprised, maybe even a little guilty. The woman - who must be the dispatcher given her fluorescent yellow jacket - waves me in the direction of the car at the head of the line, a jet black Audi. One of the men standing and chatting turns out to be the driver, his keys remotely popping the trunk as I dump my bags and as he makes his way to the driver’s side of the car.

On Repeat: #20 - Planetshakers - The Anthem

Sun, 18 May 2014 20:44:31 +0000

&feature=kp

About Town: A Mancunian frolic of sorts...

Tue, 13 May 2014 16:46:38 +0000

The sense is part foreboding, part nonchalance - if both feelings can coexist - and sitting in the departure lounge at Aberdeen airport, waiting - seemingly interminably - for the announcement of my flight to Manchester does little to ease those feelings. Back in January when I decided the API 571 exam was going to be one of my key personal development deliverables for the year, April seemed a lifetime away. Now, on the eve of the exam, the harsh reality hits home squarely not helped by the bad weather which has led to the delay of the inbound flight. The mood around the waiting room is one of tired resignation. It is chock full, fuller than I have ever seen it, perhaps a result of all the flights bunched up. Added to that for me is hunger, having skipped breakfast and hopped down to Boots at work for a meal deal lunch; hardly the sort of fare my inner Nigerian subsists on on a normal day.

Bait and Switch...

Tue, 15 Apr 2014 21:18:34 +0000

My father, very much like me, is not a great talker- the sum of our conversation over the course of the year is little more than fifteen minutes. In the main these - 3 minutes here, 2 there, and 5 there have mainly come about as intermissions, snuck in between typically lengthy conversations with my mother - if her constant probing and interrogating can count as conversations. When I wake up to find a couple of missed calls from him on my phone , a whatsapp message from my kid sister, and a BBM message from my brother - all relating to the fact that my father has been trying to get hold of me- it sets the alarm bells in my head off. After arriving from my weekend trip to the middle of nowhere (link) I ordered the largest, most decadent pizza I could from PapaJohns - with a barbecue chicken side- devoured it and promptly fell into my bed for sleep, which was how I ended up oblivious to the clamour for my attention.

About Town : On (yet another) return to the middle of nowhere

Tue, 08 Apr 2014 19:17:08 +0000

Wide awake, with not even a lingering hint of sleep to becloud my eyes, I pause to ponder the day that lies ahead of me. Difficult as it may be to wrap my head around them, the facts are what they are. It is very nearly six months since I last made the journey that lies ahead of me. Back then, LK was the developing conundrum, one that those days spent in the middle of nowhere ended up resolving, ultimately to my pain - not that I knew that at the time. My alarm snaps me out of my little reverie - I have a 6.00am check-in at the other end of town to contend with, and a 15 minute walk to catch the bus that will haul me across town - small margins for error given it is already 4.05am.

The March Wrap - Reboots, London and Bits and Bobs...

Tue, 01 Apr 2014 22:05:09 +0000

Down South, the overwhelming narrative is one of a spring in full flow, cue a flood of selfies on Instagram and Facebook, complete with the obligatory sunglasses, sleeveless tops and sandals. Up here, in my North Eastern corner of Ruralshire, the best that we have had is six degree weather and intermittent sunshine - not quite spring, but very nearly as good as it gets up here, being thankful that we are not having snow in March like we did last year.

Spring cleaning...

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 18:33:42 +0000

You Can’t Start The Next Chapter Of Your Life If You Keep Re-Reading The Last One…

I still had LK’s contact details on my phone, and about once a week I would send her a whatsapp message to see how she was getting on; even though our conversations usually involved her unloading on her issues on me - work, friends not taking her seriously anymore and the like. For one, it sent a message that I was still available - a tad too available even, and perhaps that I wasn’t entirely over her. Given the background, her unwavering declaration of not being interested romantically in me and her self declared complexity, it was always crass stupidity on my part..

Getting Directions, Movie-thons and Sunday afternoon conversations

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 21:59:56 +0000

Still slightly depressed from all that’s happened to rock my world over the last few weeks, I drag myself down to Union Square having left work thirty minutes early. I am hoping that a little window shopping – and fresh air – will do my foul mood some good. Thirty minutes later, having made a pit stop at TK Maxx, mooched around Sole Trader and JD Sports I find myself at the Jones shop, pondering the wisdom or otherwise of splurging on a gorgeous pair of Timberland boat shoes I have found.

On Repeat: #10 - Thousand Foot Krutch - Forward Motion

Sun, 09 Mar 2014 21:13:50 +0000

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Let’s keep it moving in a forward motion, If we can hold on, we can cross this ocean, There’s no sense in lettin’ our emotions, Get in the way, until the door keeps closin'

For LK : What I wanted to say...

Fri, 07 Mar 2014 22:02:21 +0000

I never sent this though - in retrospect, I should have, and drawn a line under the sordid, heart rending affair that was my dalliance with LK. Source:

I have given our prospective Thursday evening meetup a lot more thought. Under different circumstances - if we didn’t have the ‘us’ elephant in the room - I would have no reservations whatsoever with popping into London to see you. I enjoy your company that much, and have genuinely looked forward to every second we’ve spent together.

The End... Wrapping up Project LK

Mon, 03 Mar 2014 17:26:10 +0000

As suspected, my neither here nor there dalliance with LK sputtered to it’s pretty much inevitable death. That the trigger - in her words - was a relationship seminar the day before rather than plain old irritation was more the surprise rather than that it came to that.

In retrospect, I committed way too much, way too soon. If there is a lesson here it is to go slow- let the interest be known but not drop all inhibitions and lose all the mystery. There is a sense of de ja vu here - back to square zero again after five or so months, multiple dates, a start that promised much but ends yet again in the dreaded friend zone.

On Repeat: #9 – Avalon (feat. Aaron Neville) - By Heart, By Soul

Sun, 02 Mar 2014 23:21:56 +0000

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If You were a Star.. I’d follow you home by Heart

30 Day Challenge #2: Use the Paleo Diet

Sat, 01 Mar 2014 09:19:44 +0000

Getting fit and lean is one of my key deliverables for 2014. The health effects being obvious, given my borderline LVH diagnosis from 2013, and an increasing desire to ditch my keg for a veritable six pack (hello ladies :). The general consensus seemed to be that the Paleo diet was a great way to achieve the calorie restrictions required to achieve that, whilst I work on defining the exercise component to that. Over the course of the 28 days of February, I managed 20 completions, slightly improved over the January numbers for challenge #1, but still far short of the full complement.

The End of the Beginning

Fri, 28 Feb 2014 20:36:47 +0000

When I first came here, it was not love at first sight. There was no instant click, no immediate sense of belonging; only a sense of tentativeness.The call that set it all off had come out of the blue one Tuesday afternoon, from a Manager I didn’t work for directly. My first response was to email the guy I actually did work for - he took a day and a half to get back to me - by which time the moving train had gathered speed. After less than three months back at the mother lode, following a six month stint sequestered in a client office, I was on the move again.

Epic Fail...

Mon, 24 Feb 2014 19:39:31 +0000

Against my better judgement I WhatsApped LK whilst she was in Paris to say I’d thought a lot of her on the day, and that I hoped that she’d had a blast so far.. Very nearly 12 hours after she’s been in London, over 36 since she read the message, and two profile picture changes later, she hasn’t deemed it fit to respond in any shape or form.

Guess whatever ambiguity there was about the need to ease myself off has slowly resolved itself. It is very much an ending of sorts now..

On Repeat: #8 - Tenth Avenue North - Worn

Sun, 23 Feb 2014 21:31:26 +0000

--- I wanna know a song can rise From the ashes of a broken life And all that’s dead inside can be reborn Cause I’m worn

The Sense of An Ending

Thu, 20 Feb 2014 23:53:32 +0000

Having given the subject of my proposed trip to London to see LK a lot of thought, I resolved that the sensible thing was not to go through it. Two main things stood out in my head as valid reasons for this position - she was due to go away for a much deserved holiday the day after and didn’t deserve to go under a cloud, and perhaps more importantly I felt we were at a level of irritation at which constructive conversation was well nigh impossible. I thus penned a lengthy email exploring my feelings and explaining my decisions which I intended to send through to her after we had had a quick chat.

Tipping point?

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 23:42:46 +0000

LK and I somehow ended up having yet another conversation on the never quite clearly defined subject of ‘us’. Having gone ahead to send through a gift for Valentine’s Day, I did feel a little bit miffed that my efforts had merely provoked a very understated reaction. One thing led to another and I ended up letting rip a broadside around the uncertainties I was having to carry around this connection. All this over whatsapp, and at work, which was criminal on my part I must say.

On Repeat: #7 – Emeli Sande - Abide With Me

Sun, 16 Feb 2014 20:00:55 +0000

For O, who bailed too soon…

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In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Wishing on a Re-memory

Fri, 14 Feb 2014 02:14:06 +0000

For LK, and the Mag

I wish there were no ifs Or buts, or lingering maybes - But only the delirium Of the re-memory of your face, Etched in my heart like The ravines a swollen river Carves in broken shale.

I wish there was no ochre coloured space; this drizzled, empty place, stained with this ache from the itch of a thousand broken pieces

Oh that there were between you and I - a half uttered invitation. I would cross seven mountains, seven valleys and seven swollen river beds too, to pour a libation at your feet, and revel in this delirium…

On Repeat: #6 – Hawk Nelson – Faithful

Sun, 09 Feb 2014 13:29:29 +0000

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… No matter how many times I break You promise always to keep me safe You’re my rescue when I’m spinning outta control…

Conversations and Conundrums

Sat, 08 Feb 2014 16:18:41 +0000

Fundamentally, I do like you, but there is a but.

My initial elation very quickly vanished, to be replaced with a more pragmatic mix of angst, exasperation and some curiosity. LK and I had been chatting, catching up, and following up after my London trip, the main driver for which was a (second) date with her. After church at Hillsong - always a great bonus on these trips - I made my way towards the Angel Station where we’d planned to meet and then do lunch and talk.

2014 Reading - The January Wrap

Wed, 05 Feb 2014 18:32:17 +0000

Between Albert Camus’The Outsider and Ahdaf Soueif’s The Map of Love, my 2014 reading has gotten off to a solid, if unspectacular start, both these books seeming to occupy opposite extremes of the emotional engagement continuum.

In The Outsider, two excellent summaries of which can be found here and here, Albert Camus’ protagonist, Meursault, is defined by his (lack of) emotional reaction to the death of his mother; My mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know - he says, and the subsequent problems that causes for him when he ends up getting sucked into a conflict that was never his to begin with, but which ends in murder.

Resources

Sun, 02 Feb 2014 22:39:21 +0000

Al Mohler on The Marks of Real Manhood
Andy Stanley - The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating
eHarmony - 10 Things That Make You Perfect Boyfriend Material
Francis Chan - God is Faithful (@ Passion 2013)
How to Pick Your Life Partner - Part 1, Part 2

On Repeat: #5 - Hillsong - With Everything

Sun, 02 Feb 2014 22:35:46 +0000

It has been a weird week of sorts at mine - death and a bloke I knew fairly well, and a not quite friend zoning by LK... Thankful regardless…

30 Day Challenge #1: Daily Prayer and Bible Study

Sat, 01 Feb 2014 20:25:00 +0000

Challenge #1 was to develop a regular routine of prayer and bible study in the morning before heading out to work. The idea was to leverage the Hillsong Maximised Life Devotional - the plethora of social options by which it was delivered an incentive to complete this task. Overall though, I only managed 18 completions from 30, my longest streak being 4 days - terrible.

Given the above, the plan for February is to continue with this challenge as well as add the Paleo diet to the list of habits for February 2014. The key expectations are to stay off sugar, grains and cereals, legumes, dairy and wheat, drink 2 litres of water daily, and Nandos (phew).

Quotable.. Francis Chan

Thu, 30 Jan 2014 21:39:13 +0000

Francis Chan at Passion 2013:

Do you believe….That God is looking at you regardless of what you’ve done going ‘I’ll buy you back? I know you’re faithless but I never stop being Faithful, pursuing you, loving you… And as long as it is still called today, as long as you’re still breathing, right now you’ve got a chance. I’ll buy you back right now. I’ll take you back… You just lay it at the cross.

A Question of Patience...

Tue, 28 Jan 2014 17:55:21 +0000

In her own words, she is complex in a can of cute. Slouched in my favourite chair by my window, with the sound of passing cars, their occasional horn toots and the odd police siren as the soundtrack to my evening, up until then I had been having a chilled, if lethargic evening natter.

I had one eye on the evolving tactical battle on my FM2013 Liverpool save and the other on my phone whilst we talked, before we segued into the subject of personality types and tests. Thanks to books like Quiet and Networking for Those Who Hate Networking, I am increasingly secure in owning up to being introverted - which was probably why without too much thinking I owned up to being INTJ. Her initial response was to ask me to translate that into real English; I promptly emailed her a link to the sixteen personalities INTJ page. That set off a bout of good natured teasing and banter at my expense - not that I minded. LK is delightfully great to talk to; her brand of acerbic, intelligent, thoughtful conversation delivered in a voice so soft one would assume she couldn’t hurt a fly is one that I have taken a great liking to over the past three months. Teasing over, I pressed her to take the test herself, knowing just how much insight into her personality it would provide and looking for canon fodder to retaliate. That was the setting for her declaration, in the aftermath of which I found myself soberly considering just what the potential ramifications of the revelation might be.

On Repeat: #4 - Pharrell Williams - Happy

Sun, 26 Jan 2014 18:32:27 +0000

Because this fits in right with my mood just now… And got an airing at Hillsong London too :)

White paper....

Thu, 23 Jan 2014 14:20:42 +0000

I want to cover you With words. Ink dots Jumbled together Until they blur Into a scrawl, confused Like the light From a thousand scattered beads

I want to hide myself Within the haze Of my re-memory - To somehow, between life And the afterglow From my tired brain, Re-create the time and space That reality stole.

But your blank, pure Whiteness mocks me, I find the things I want to say don’t come

Christmas... In Eight Days

Mon, 06 Jan 2014 17:44:54 +0000

Aperitivo, on Bon-Accord Street, is where this year’s Christmas silly season kicks off for me, and coming so soon after my return from Nigeria - with all the food I was force fed - part of me cringes at the thought of yet more food. In the end my desire to avoid giving yet more ammunition to the AJ-is-a-snob brigade makes me decide to attend. I just about make it to the party, keeping G waiting on the corner of Union and Bon-Accord for almost fifteen minutes. It is a terrible time to be out and about; it is piddling, there is a strong wind and Union Street is chock full of the rush hour traffic at just before six pm. In going home first, rather than directly from work, my gamble has failed spectacularly; missing the bus from across the road at home meaning I have to walk briskly to cover the twenty minute walk in fifteen. G - never the type to let an opportunity to lay in to someone - does give me a right going as we walk the short distance from the junction towards our final destination for the night after I arrive. It matters little that we are the first ones in by ten minutes past six, or that the table has been booked for a seven pm start.

2014 - The Plan

Fri, 03 Jan 2014 00:33:52 +0000

The prospect of poor health, a milestone birthday of sorts and all round malaise kicked off what was a great plan (in my opinion at least) to deliver change over the course of a year, which as I am wont to do, I tagged with the lofty title ‘ The Year of Living Dangerously’. It started off well – at least with regards to chasing up 52 small changes but the initial enthusiasm seeped out, prompting an attempt to gee myself up for a restart.

2013...

Tue, 31 Dec 2013 23:59:44 +0000

In women, or the lack thereof of… L who proved a bridge too far. In retrospect we were much too different, and there were loads of warning signs. O with whom I had the ‘you’re a great guy but convo… Si for whom I popped into town just before she conveniently picked up a stomach bug, and bailed on me F who I’d had a crush on, on and off for three years and counting, but with whom the stars never aligned… Tee who handed me my second friend zone convo of the year Somewhere in between I swore off the dream to snag the all Nigerian chic.. Or not… 2014 may yet shed more light on this.

Intersections - On JRR Tolkien

Tue, 31 Dec 2013 19:48:06 +0000

The Year In Reading 2013

Tue, 31 Dec 2013 06:32:26 +0000

And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini
The Sound of Things Falling - Juan Gabriel Vasquez
Fine Boys - Eghosa Imasuen
The One: A Realistic Guide to Choosing Your Soul Mate - Ben Young & Sam Adams
Jesus, My Father, The CIA and Me: A Memoir of sorts - Ian Morgan Cron
Networking for people who hate networking - Devora Zack.
The Practice of the Presence of God - Brother Lawrence
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking - Susan Cain
The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy

Chaos and Nostalgia.. Postscript

Fri, 27 Dec 2013 20:14:21 +0000

In the end this trip - all ten days of it - was about absolution for sins yet to be committed. Unbeknownst to everyone I strove to meet up with, if I had my way, Nigeria would not feature on the holiday destination list for the next three years at least. So this was the last guilty splurge - the second time this year - where I sought to inhale as much of Nigeria and family as I could, like a free-diver does with oxygen before submerging.

In pictures.. Bits and Bobs...

Fri, 20 Dec 2013 22:14:30 +0000

Chaos and Nostalgia...5

Tue, 17 Dec 2013 20:49:52 +0000

---

I get my sister’s old room back. I have been way for so long that I have to go back two house moves to the time I still had a room here, one that I shared with the kid brother in the house on 3rd Street.

I spend the bulk of the five days I spend in total in a haze of sorts - thanks to the ASUU strike, there’s precious little going on about town. NEPA does it’s very best to limit how much access to my devices I get, battery life being a significant issue of sorts.

Chaos and Nostalgia...4

Mon, 16 Dec 2013 21:37:47 +0000

---

By 7.20am, I am in a cab, speeding towards the Yaba Motor Park. The plan is to grab a seat on an early bus to Benin, and then on to Ekpoma. Overnight my Mum has tried to call me several times. My gamble - forwarding my UK mobile to a Skype Out number- has failed spectacularly; no thanks to the dodgy internet I’ve got. The forwarded calls come in but I can’t answer them with any decent quality. :( That early on a Sunday morning, Lagos is already agog – blaring loud speakers, shrill cries of hawkers and bus conductors alike and a steady stream of pedestrians.

Chaos and Nostalgia...3

Sun, 15 Dec 2013 21:25:36 +0000

---

I wake up to singing - slightly muffled but loud enough to filter through to that neither here nor there place between sleep and waking up, where ambient sounds meld into dreams, or whatever it is conscious people do with their brains. When I make my way downstairs, it turns out it is the hotel staff having morning prayers.

I am low on cash, I half start to prepare to go out before I am minded to ask my friend V, who confirms an ATM is my best bet. I end up walking a few kilometres to the nearest bank, a Zenith Bank, and empty my cash passport in the process; 20,000 naira should cover an extra day’s hotel costs and the transport fare by road from Lagos to Benin which is next on the agenda.

Chaos and Nostalgia... 2

Sat, 14 Dec 2013 17:08:42 +0000

---

Source

Nightfall….It is very nearly half past seven when we begin our final descent into Lagos. From the window, all that is visible is a thick, dense darkness, interrupted by clusters of lights here and there.

I’m surprised it’s not totally dark out there, my seat mate ventures. I shrug. Maybe generators I say. He seems unconvinced. Over the course of the last 6 hours, and some, he and I have conversed intermittently – first about the busyness that engulfs travel hubs like Schiphol and Heathrow, and La Guardia where the first leg of his flight originated. Then a moan about the delays in the cabin crew delivering head phones to use – from which it transpires that on his La Guardia – Schiphol leg he had to ask for them before he got them. The antics of our dear Bini granny also provide fodder for our intermittent, light hearted chatting. Descending into Lagos changes the bent of our conversation into something decidedly more Nigeria focused – mainly how in a few short minutes our motley of people who queued almost impeccably at Schiphol would disintegrate into a seething, boiling mass of one-uppers and corner cutters.

Chaos and Nostalgia...

Fri, 13 Dec 2013 13:32:03 +0000

I

Wheeling my suitcase – out of breath and breaking a small sweat – I arrive at the check- in counter a mere ten minutes before boarding is scheduled to commence. I am Lagos bound, via Amsterdam, thanks to a few extra holidays earned from being stuck in the middle of nowhere by the vagaries of the weather in October. Even though I have had over a month to plan, and pack, I have ended up facing the very real conundrum of having to decide between a pair of blue Levi’s jeans and blue Lee Cooper’s- difficult choice mind, and pondering if a phone and tablet might meet my computing needs this trip; enabling me to dispense with a laptop for the next ten days..

There, or thereabouts...

Mon, 11 Nov 2013 22:19:01 +0000

It is a cold, crisp morning; the sort that draws an involuntary wince when the twin comforts of a snuggie, and the remnants of warm tea are withdrawn somewhat suddenly. Having not visited the gym in two weeks and a few days - blame my trip to the middle of nowhere, not my laziness - the plan is to drag myself there at some stage over the course of the day. The dry, sunny vista that greets my eyes looking out onto Pittodrie beguiles me into kitting myself out in my gym get-up; which is how at the ungodly hour of 9am on a Saturday I am high tailing the 700 yards or so from my house to the gym. The forty-five minute amble on the treadmill passes by uneventfully enough - today there are neither svelte, graceful does nor brawny, over-fit ones to terrorise me, or show me up for the lazy bum I am..

Mis-matched

Mon, 04 Nov 2013 19:46:37 +0000

Feeling chilly in the westerly breeze is how BBC weather describes the start to the day, and walking briskly from my house to the bus station, I ponder just how right that prediction is in spite of how well I think I am wrapped up - thermal undershirt, long sleeves, a fleece and a wind breaker notwithstanding. I have always thought it interesting just how well predictions of lousy well work as opposed to ones which promise warm, dry spells, or not. Confirmation bias maybe?

Starting over...

Thu, 31 Oct 2013 20:07:04 +0000

The one slight positive from the events of the last few weeks has got to be the opportunity to start over. For one it is a big reset of sorts, one from which I hope I can learn. Rock bottom/ square zero’s great in that regards - having hit there, the only way is up, if there is any movement that is.

Looking back over the year so far, and the bevy of girl shaped failures that litter it, an overt eagerness to gain clarity and definition appears to be one of the key recurring hurdles at which I have fallen. At first it was due to the need to gain some sort of closure on the wife plan as the 34th birthday loomed, and then the pressure to demonstrate progress to the hordes of interested, knowledgeable others.

African shop...

Tue, 22 Oct 2013 19:24:06 +0000

I am carefully arranging the items in my shopping basket to make room for the 1800g tin of milk I have just taken off the shelf when someone to my left blurts out - Brossss.. Your Nidoooo milk no get part 2 o!

So engaged in that most banal of tasks have I been that I have not noticed him until he has spoken, pretty much directly into my left ear, I might add. When I look up, his face has a vague familiarity to it. I give it a few seconds before I give up trying to place the face, and assume he is someone I have run into at church, or one of the multiplied baby birthdays I have been forced to attend this year. I smile and explain my thinking behind grabbing the big tin - I come to this African shop on the corner of George and Fraser’s only so often, and for what it’s worth I try to make it worth my while.

Sinking in...

Thu, 17 Oct 2013 18:54:39 +0000

I’d like to think that looking for sympathy has never been my thing, but if it was, the circumstances of the tiff with Tee were never going to get me any. Nothing epitomised that better than my veritable wing woman K. In fairness to her, she had voiced several concerns over a month ago when the noises about moving to America had begun to get louder. It was in fact one of those conversations that led to her concluding that I was hell bent on getting myself hurt.

Season of Uncertainty

Wed, 16 Oct 2013 03:46:36 +0000

Sinking… and feeling for rock bottom is the sense of where I feel I am at the moment; very much like the proverbial lead sinking in water. The thing with Tee rather than being the primary cause of this latest bout of malaise helped precipitate it, not least being the most recent of a string of setbacks in the girl department running through the year.

There’s work, and the fact that the guys I currently work for recently lost a major service contract they had held for the better part of 8+ years. With that has come the potential for staff moves, down-sizing and all the other fun and games associated with trying to bring overhead down. Even though my own role seems safe amidst this sea of change, there is the additional complication of the particular client I support shuttering activity on the plant I work for. My UK visa is tied to my employer so the uncertainty associated with work, or not working does leave the mind in jitters. Another layer of complexity is the fact that I want to do something different. Having spent the greater part of the last 10 years - since December 2003 - in topside pressure system asset integrity, I do want to get my teeth into subsea materials and corrosion a lot more than my current role might allow…

Friend Zoned...

Mon, 14 Oct 2013 18:35:04 +0000

Tee and I had the talk, from which it transpired she wants/ can only be just friends with me.

The bulk of that conversation was her version of the well-worn, if clichéd it’s not you, it’s me spiel.. One can only handle being told about being a great guy with a great heart so many times before it begins to ring hollow, like the copout I have always felt it is…

Rebooting... Small Change #4: Keep a food journal

Sun, 06 Oct 2013 23:49:29 +0000

It is very nearly a month since I gave the #52SmallChanges project any kind of intentionality. I could blame a mini season of depression occasioned by my fixation on S, or the fact that I have upcoming exams I am freaking out about, or work - which I have had loads of.

Bottom line is I haven’t been on the money with regards to the small changes I was meant to be progressing through till the next birthday. The barely there silver lining though is besides the ‘get more sleep’ change, I’ve pretty much kept up with the new habits I have picked up in the first three weeks.

Going nowhere... fast

Thu, 03 Oct 2013 19:12:53 +0000

Against my better judgement – and that not for the first time – I call S on Sunday evening. Predictably she doesn’t answer her phone. The first and only acknowledgement of the missed call comes on Tuesday night, a full fifty-two hours later, when she texts to apologise for missing my call, citing being tied up with chores and ironing.

Given she is someone I have been trying to get a face to face with since early July; and who pulled out of yet another agreement in principle to meet up the Thursday before the Sunday on which I call her citing busyness again; it does begin to strain the limits of credulity to imagine these are just random, real limitations on time as opposed to a fully intentional strategy to avoid meeting up.

Talent spotting, couch surfing and getting the autumn blues...

Tue, 24 Sep 2013 20:57:45 +0000

Standing at the window looking out - as I am wont to do on most slow Fridays - waiting for our old, creaky coffee machine to piddle out water for my cup of tea, G. asks me if I am ‘talent’ spotting.

I do not ask what exactly he means, but there can be no ambivalence here. The coffee machine sits right next to a large window, with a view which although largely taken up by monolithic grey, granite buildings does include enough of the perennially busy street to provide a feast for sore eyes on most days. Unfortunately on this occasion there is no talent to be spotted. It is that nearly dead period just before lunch hours kick in across the city where most serious talent is locked behind desks squirrelling away at work rather than strutting their stuff across the streets. The clear nip in the air also means that what sparse talent there might be is very well covered up, the skimpy summer outfits now replaced by coats and scarves. G. and I moan about the weather - it is predicted to hover between 10 and 14 degrees all weekend with a smattering of showers here and there; hardly the kind of weather to inspire any serious weekend plans. The darned autumn I suppose.

Treading water...

Fri, 20 Sep 2013 20:57:13 +0000

Tee and I have somehow segued into friend zone territory - catching up once a day on average to share the minutiae of life, moan about our respective bosses and all the other things working adults who live alone find the time to complain about.

She has had a lot on her plate lately between work, illness and family visits, as I have been with work and my urgent trip down south to Sheffield to sort out the small matter of a visa.

Small Change #3 - Get off your couch

Sun, 08 Sep 2013 20:28:38 +0000

From the 52 Small Changes book:

An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body

- General George S. Patton

Last week’s change didn’t exactly go down very well - my fitbit sleep data suggests I didn’t do as well as I thought I would (averaged 6 hours 7 minutes of sleep as against 5 hours 52 minutes the week before); still shy of the 7 hour target. On a slightly more positive note, my water drinking challenge continues apace, thanks to my 600ml mug perched right next to my bed it seems.

5 Tests of Compatibility

Fri, 06 Sep 2013 18:00:54 +0000

From my current read, Ben Young and Dr Sam Adams’ book - The One: A Realistic Guide to Choosing Your Soul Mate.

Is there chemistry? Are you sexually/ physically attracted to your partner?
Is your relationship natural? Do things flow naturally or are you spending a lot more time resolving issues than demonstrating a natural fit?
Would this be a good friend? If the chemistry was removed, is it someone you’d want to be with, whose company you enjoy?
Can you accept his or her personality as is? Could you spend the rest of your life with the person as they are?
Would you want your kids to be like him or her? Could you envision a future in which your children turn out like him or her?

Oh and to pass the test, it must be ‘Yes’, 100%…

All clear... Almost...

Thu, 05 Sep 2013 20:00:34 +0000

Battery of tests done and dusted - ECGs, Ultrasound, a plethora of bloods, and numerous appointments with my GP and one up at ARI with the consultant Cardiologist.

The news is there’s nothing majorly wrong with yours truly’s heart - bar some borderline LVH, attributable to the elevated blood pressures I have been carrying for a while.

From now on it will be a steady daily diet of blood pressure meds - calcium channel blockers in the first place and then an ACE inhibitor to try to reverse the LVH…

London, Again

Tue, 03 Sep 2013 20:18:45 +0000

I first moot the idea of meeting up with Tee casually one Saturday evening, between getting a snapshot of her calendar for the next few months - it is chock full with work and travel - and getting tips for scaling back on my coffee drinking, after which it turns out that there are no airports in her corner of the world. That puts the downer on any inclinations to jump on a flight on my part - I famously never travel anywhere I’ll have to sit still for more than 8 hours - until she mentions she might be in London sometime over the next few weeks. It turns out I only get four days notice, and I barely have time to sort out fights and holidays, hop on a flight and appear in London.

Small Change #2 - Get Your ZZZs

Sun, 01 Sep 2013 20:49:46 +0000

From the 52 Small Changes book:

Sleep is the best meditation

- Dalai Lama

Last week’s small change went fairly well - bar the odd day on which one coffee just didn’t sort me out. By the end of the week, I was reaching instinctively for my 600ml bottle of water to kick start my day, before anything else. The slightly harder challenge was staying off the cokes, which I did for the most part except for two days - along with a green leaf salad for Wednesday for lunch and on Friday afternoon during my monthly catch up with O. at Nandos. All told there has been noticeable improvement in the quantity of water (and green tea) I drink, which can’t be such a bad thing.

Small Change #1 - Drink Up

Sun, 25 Aug 2013 17:14:05 +0000

From the 52 Small Changes Book:

Water is the driving force of nature

- Leonardo Da Vinci

Or as Fela once famously sang, water no get enemy.

Up until a month ago, Cokes were my default drink, in all its forms - diet, regular, zero and a few non conventional forms too [mixed with all sorts of other liquids], which is why this first small chnage will need some serious getting used to.

Goings On: The almost botched birthday edition

Mon, 19 Aug 2013 18:26:09 +0000

I suppose there are worse ways to spend your birthday than being stuck behind a desk, being one of two members of the team available from a full complement of five, praying and hoping no emergency pops up requiring you to suit up and go offshore at short notice. Thankfully that, getting sent offshore, didn’t happen; and I had the pleasure of spending Friday away from work, catching up with myself…

Waking Up

Sun, 18 Aug 2013 20:00:49 +0000

To the Year of Living Intentionally, or dangerously…

Between standing on the cusp of the 34th birthday, and getting a diagnosis of borderline LVH, I have come very close to freaking out more than a few times over the last few weeks. More so perhaps because in stumbling on an early copy of the 5 year plan - written back in the day when I was an excitable 26 year old with the dream job and the dream girl, and all the important people in my life the small matter of a six hour road trip away - just how far off target in quite a few categories I still am was made very clear.

The List

Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:20:24 +0000

As I think about the future Mrs S, the list becomes more and more condensed, shrinking to what I think are the 4+1 non-negotiables. This time I thought I’d give some thought to articulating a little bit more just what each of those non-negotiables translates to in plain English.. So here goes…

A passion for God, children and a balanced Judeo-Christian worldview
- Christian, serve in church in some capacity whilst not actively looking to go the whole hog of becoming a missionary to Nepal (trust me I’ve met someone who wanted to do just that). :)
- Willing to explore the more liberal expressions of Christian theology (à la Hillsong/ other interdenominational churches rather than a typically Nigerian one).
The same sense of long term direction
- Has a defined life plan with targets over the next 5+ years that I can contribute to;
- Considers the UK, US or Canada as home in the near to medium term at least;
- Wants to have or adopt children (2 max)
Great conversation
- Someone interested enough in me to want to stay in touch;
- Is able to converse on a range of issues and topics including football, faith/ worldview etc
An appreciation of the arts
- Reads and appreciates reading
- Gets CCM and can relate to quite few of the usual suspects (Hillsong, Delirious, Switchfoot, Audio Adrenaline, Third Day, Tenth Avenue North :) )
- Not opposed to catching a play at the opera or a movie from time to time.
A compatible genotype

An English man abroad... Of sorts

Tue, 06 Aug 2013 18:00:17 +0000

Seems like you’re having a ball for one, the ginger haired man who had seemingly popped out of nowhere said to me as I attempted to retrieve my cup of tea, and turn around at the same time.

Epic fail. I managed to do neither, very nearly tipping my life giving cup of tea over in the process. I had been waiting on our epileptic coffee maker to finish pissing a shot of hot water into my cup, passing the time by whistling to myself and looking out with longing for the clear, sunny day that was out there, just beyond my reach for the next few hours.

Of Journeys and returns

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 21:40:51 +0000

London was warm, a tad too warm if the truth must be told. And dry - well, except for that wretched Saturday evening, which in keeping with my rotten luck with these things, was the one day I decided to be out and about into the wee hours of the morning. Other than that, the contrast with the ‘Deen couldn’t have been starker – wet, barely nudging 19 degree weather and warm, dry, 26 degree weather and sunshine, separated by the small matter of sixty five minutes of flying.

Firsts...

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 09:00:53 +0000

Besting 500 calories in one gym session….

The future Mrs S best be pleased :)

The Story Behind The Song: I Could Sing of Your Love Forever - Delirious?

Sat, 27 Jul 2013 21:24:41 +0000

Back in ‘94 when Delirious was still the house band for The Cutting Edge, a local youth event run by the Arun Community Church in Littlehampton, doing music full time didn’t look feasible, nor was the possibility of multiple Dove Awards and a Grammy nomination. In fact between leading worship at the cutting edge events and keeping up with a hectic schedule of gigs across the UK, the group that would become arguably the UK’s greatest Christian contemporary music exports had to hold down day jobs to keep things ticking.

Point of Inflection

Wed, 17 Jul 2013 23:31:02 +0000

In differential calculus:

the point on a curve where the curvature changes sign from +ve to -ve or vice versa; analogous to a point on a bend where the steering is momentarily straight whilst turning from left to right or vice versa

In real life:

the precise moment it finally sinks into a bloke’s thick skull that the girl he’s had a crush on for the past month is about to ease him into the friendzone

Goings on - A few quick hits...

Tue, 16 Jul 2013 19:25:41 +0000

In line at my GP’s, waiting for an audience with the receptionist who I want to confirm an appointment with, I find myself growing impatient despite being only the fifth person in line. It looks, and feels, like everyone and their dog opted to stop by today. It is a warm day and there are at least ten people in various stages of repose on the chairs scattered around the waiting room. Inwardly I am cursing myself and my daftness for choosing lunch to do this. At the head of the queue, a large-ish woman engages the receptionist in a conversation of sorts - if speaking two unrelated languages can be classed as a conversation. She, like me, has an appointment to confirm, unlike me she needs an interpreter to pass her query across. The dour, matronly receptionist seems to be at a loss, unable to determine what is an appropriate response besides saying repeatedly ‘The nurse is not in yet, she’ll call for you when she has an interpreter on the line’. Six times and five minutes later, she has made no headway, and the woman has held the line up for all of that time. Our saving grace is the nurse calling out ‘Olga", allied with a name I can’t recall. Recognising her name, she makes her way to the consulting room to be attended to. Needless to say, I am not at my most gracious at the delay - unnecessarily so.

40 things by 40

Wed, 10 Jul 2013 17:15:54 +0000

There is the wider life plan ( updated here), and then this, an attempt to build a bucket list as my life marches inexorably on to the 40th birthday in 2020. In no particular order then, here goes:

Meet, fall in love with, actively chase and marry the woman of my dreams (who loves me back in the same way).
Visit with sponsored children and their families for two weeks.
Save one year’s living expenses (~30k) in an (untouched) ISA
Start or complete a PhD
Publish a book (currently considering a book of poems or essays around the ambivalence of ageing, and turning 40 with the working title - The Crux of The Matter: Occasional Essays on Everything)
Save 30% of my net earnings over the decade from 2009 to 2019.
Learn a second language.
Properly articulate my world view (in a series of blog posts, what I believe?)
Read every book that has been awarded the Man Booker Prize (currently read 9).
Acquire a second nationality
Take the significant other on a two week boat cruise
Complete a 10k race for charity
Take a two week holiday and document the visit in a travelogue.
Sleep in the outdoors.
Write a blog for 365 consecutive days (aim for 2016?)
Launch ‘The Integrity Business’ - my Corrosion, Materials, Welding and Inspection consultancy - or become Corrosion and Materials Technical Authority at an Oil Major ( currently TA at a small Oil & Gas company as at YE 2015).
Watch the Ball drop in New York’s Time Square live.
Visit Brazil - complete a ‘pilgrimage’ to the Statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio.
Watch a Champions League final live
Tour Anfield
See one of Third Day, Delirious, Hillsong United or Rebecca St James live in concert.
Get a private pilot licence.
Learn to play the guitar
Learn to swim
Visit the New Seven Wonders of Nature.
Walk the Edinburgh Royal Mile/Attend the Fringe Festival
Travel the route of the Orient Express by train ( Paris to Istanbul)
Visit the sites of the Seven Churches referenced in Revelations 3
Travel by train from London to Athens.
Visit the Detroit Institute of Art
Drive down Route 66 in America
See the pyramids in Egypt
Take a ride in a hot air balloon
Climb the Eiffel tower

House Warming...

Tue, 09 Jul 2013 19:15:44 +0000

I was the first person in, just before 4.00pm. I had no choice but to RSVP in the affirmative when my friend O.’s invite to his house warming party finally arrived, largely because I had harassed encouraged him strongly into putting it together. He had just bought a house on the other side of town, and starved of hanging out time, I’d seized upon that as an excuse to badger him into setting something up.

About Town

Tue, 02 Jul 2013 20:19:32 +0000

The bright warm sunshine that streamed in through the office windows – whilst I was hard at work on Friday afternoon - vanished in time for the weekend, true to form. Up here in my little corner of the world, the one gripe that we all - rich, poor, cab driver, CEO, native born or immigrant - share, is the weather and its propensity to turning on a whim at the most inopportune of moments.

Glorious Ruins

Mon, 01 Jul 2013 19:30:09 +0000

The lyrics:

---—- When my courage ends Let my heart find strength In Your presence

Selah

The life plan...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:56:39 +0000

Distilled into three main components:

Be the best husband, father, brother, son and friend I can be;
Excel in (Corrosion, Materials and Welding) Engineering;
Live in, and contribute to life in, a great church and a great city.

Not quite as simple as it sounds, but tiny first steps are all that count, no?

Stumbled on

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 18:02:13 +0000

It is a bright, sunny day outside. On the radio as I come in, the weather forecast - tacked on to the end of the news broadcast on the BBC - promises great things for the weekend; 12 to 15 degrees and sunshine, loads of it. If there is any doubt that our summer, typically bipolar at best is finally here, this dispels it.

Inside, in the open plan office I share with the team at work, it is quiet. It is early too, just past 8.00am and I am the only one in; perfect timing to chase down my regular Friday piece of junk food and savour the quietness – unusual in the last year I have worked here. That was the back story to how, and why I was humming in my head and chewing noisily on a bit of roll and bacon as I ambled towards the coffee machine for a free brew to wash down my breakfast.

Woolwich, the aftermath

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 19:33:05 +0000

In the immediate aftermath of the Woolwich murder, once that truly harrowing video had surfaced and the Nigerian connection was first mooted, I found myself cast in the unwilling role of the Nigerian ’expert’ at work. For most of the people in my corner of the world, I was the most handy Nigerian they could talk to. The odd attempt to parlay it into banter did come up, but for the most part, these were people looking to get some perspective on what was both vicious and senseless.

Cheat Day...

Fri, 31 May 2013 21:01:34 +0000

An egg, two sausages, a slice of bacon and a hash brown.. All on a roll.. #Delish

Journeying to the middle of nowhere

Thu, 30 May 2013 20:27:52 +0000

The one last, irrevocable act that settles the inevitability of these trips is the phone call, typically sometime between 3.30pm and 5.00pm, confirming a check-in time for the next day. Beyond that, it is a fairly straight forward routine - wake up just past 5.00am, sort out my morning ablutions and then proceed to drag my two pieces of luggage down Park Road, up Kings and up to the bus station just outside Union Square. Thereafter there is a wait - between five and twenty minutes depending on when I arrive - before the 727 to the airport begins its crawl towards Dyce and the airport.

Contact

Wed, 29 May 2013 20:30:38 +0000

[contact-form][contact-field label=‘Name’ type=‘name’ required=‘1’/][contact-field label=‘Email’ type=‘email’ required=‘1’/][contact-field label=‘Website’ type=‘url’/][contact-field label=‘Comment’ type=‘textarea’ required=‘1’/][/contact-form]

About

Wed, 29 May 2013 16:56:24 +0000

Hi, I’m AJ, a Materials & Corrosion Engineer (hence TheRustGeek), Recovering (Spiritual) Prodigal, Enneagram 5/ INTJ and Liverpool FC fan, in no particular order. For worth its worth, I find myself increasingly drawn to to the Parable of the Prodigal Son, my connection being in two dimensions; one of faith and a continuing struggle in that aspect and that of being in a far country, twice removed.

RustGeeking apart, I find myself increasingly fascinated by Complex Systems, particularly the adaptive sort, risk/ risk management and how data science and analytics tools can be deployed successfully in the physical asset integrity management space which most of my work to date has been in. Knowledge Representation and Reasoning is also an area I am keenly interested in, particularly from the perspectives of future proofing myself as a knowledge economist from the “scourge” of Large Language Models. I firmly believe that Graph Theory and its Network Science sub-domain is a fundamental paradigm through which to understand the world. Since falling into the used Thinkpad rabbit hole in 2019, I have primarily run Linux (currently Fedora) on Thinkpads rescued from eBay.

First World Problems

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:36:10 +0000

Thirty odd people, myself included, cluster around a table in a somewhat private corner of the Monkey House. Once a quarter, the guys and girls from work all pile in here to de-stress, and let our hair down. Rumour has it that after enough beers have gone around, fortuitous slips centred around what certain bosses actually think about certain staff have been known to occur. Usually, the evening starts with a few beers and nibbles - fish fingers, spring rolls, and all the other light food we’d collectively call small chops in my other world, the small matter of a few thousand miles away.

TED Talks: Why 30 is not the new 20 - Med Jay PhD

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:00:10 +0000

[ted id=1741]

West End Conversations

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:20:43 +0000

She taps me on the shoulder, seemingly after several attempts to get my attention. In my defence, I have my earphones plugged in, cranked up to the maximum as usual, and have my hands in my fully done up jacket, braced up for the nip in the air, a far cry from the fairly balmy weather we’d had for all of three days that week.

I am waiting for the Number 5 bus from Seafield Shops to Union Street, at a little before 20 minutes to 5pm, and besides the slowly lengthening line of cars on the opposite side of the road queuing up to get off Seafield on to Springfield road, there is an uncertain quietness to everything. At the time she tapped my shoulder, the only thing on my mind besides the cold was clearing my head of PRENs, Carbon equivalents, hydrogen embrittlement and all the other buzz words my ears had been filled up with at the training course I was on.

Facebook Fail

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:12:26 +0000

I woke up to five missed calls on my phone. I had felt, rather than heard its insistent buzz deep within lalaland but sheer tiredness had kept me from waking up. Instead, the phone’s chirpy ringtone somehow ended up blending itself in with the background to some weird dream I promptly forgot on waking.

Of the five missed calls, three were from my mother, one from my father’s phone and one from a private number. This has more or less become her standard M.O. - when she feels I am intentionally refusing to answer her phone calls that is. That she’d called five times suggested it was important, so I groaned inwardly, punched in the numbers for my calling card and made the phone call to Nigeria.

About town - Bunnies, Movies and perfecting the art of vanishing

Tue, 07 May 2013 18:00:12 +0000

In retrospect, it was the best weekend to have been away from work - but I didn’t know that three weeks ago when on a whim I decided I needed an extended break. It just so happened that Thursday morning, which was my last work day of the week, brought with it the slight irritation of an unwelcome work event that needed a response. That event ended up spawning a response that had burgeoned into a full-fledged emergency of sorts - complete with the mindless, headless running around centred on being visible and being seen to be doing stuff, however pointless - by midmorning on Friday, by which time I was sauntering casually down Links Road, up the beach Esplanade and then unto the Boulevard with the sun on my back, tempered by a cool breeze from the sea and the barely perceptible sound of the waves lapping the shoreline, the sound track to what was a very leisurely stroll.

Lostness

Mon, 06 May 2013 13:12:08 +0000

It was meant to be a quick year off work- away from what had quickly degenerated into a morale sapping, five-year-plan derailing slog complete with over-paid and over-pampered expat bosses more keen to leave a boot in to demonstrate their continuing relevance than develop fresh graduates. That year’s appraisal was the final straw - the spiel about the ranking process being an assessment of the best and the brightest and the slowest driver in a Formula 1 race being a darned good driver somehow put the lie to being ranked firmly in the middle percentile AND yet being offered a position of greater authority.

On S...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:14:30 +0000

The cliff notes version

Finally rid myself of L; new mobile number, deleted contacts and minimal face to face time appear to be working here
Met S at N’s party - great conversation, opera lover and left handed woman…. :) Was beginning to think the Lord didn’t make geek chics anymore.. My one slip up was failing to ask for her number or BBM *silly me*

The Upside to being Ill

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:01:53 +0000

.. is a lot of time to spend in introspection, curled up tight into a ball (or sprawled out like an amorphous mass in my case), unable to lift my head and throat as they were being bombarded by the triune forces of a sore, swollen throat, a fever and a banging headache to boot. And think did I – when I was not obsessively googling home remedies for what turned out to be some flu strain sent from hell.

The darned friend zone...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 23:43:47 +0000

To all accounts, she could have been the right woman, at the right time, in the right place on the relationship continuum, but for the small matter of 3,000 miles making navigating the treacherous waters of getting to know her essentially from scratch that bit more difficult. We did have great conversations (maybe not great, but better than I have with most) with a range of shared interests that we explored.

About Town - Snow Bound

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:37:55 +0000

#WheresTheHoustonJobWhenYouNeedIt

Giving it a Year

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:25:41 +0000

If I dialed down my definition of success to its most basic, it would have three (or four) components:

Excel in (Corrosion & Materials) Engineering;
Be the best husband, father, son, brother and friend I can be;
Live in, and contribute to life in, a great city and a great church.

Simple enough, I guess. Unless you’re me with a well documented attention to detail – often bordering on over-thinking – with which every little, simple decision segues into a long, drawn out exercise in Planning, Reviewing and Risk v. Reward Assessment.

#11 - Carry Me - Josh Wilson

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 10:00:54 +0000

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9huooelamNA&w=540 ] Carry Me - Josh Wilson ————————– ♫ I’m at the end of myself/ I know I’ve got nothing left/ Feels like I’m stuck in the valley of the shadow of death/ And I’ve been down here so long/ I just can’t find my way out/ Oh God I don’t stand a chance/ Unless You carry me now ♫

Crossroads, Again

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 15:46:15 +0000

A job offer - The right role, for more than the right pay in the wrong location, and not just the wrong location but one that will most certainly draw a line under my life as I have known it for the last four years.

A girl - The right girl by all accounts, whom I have known/ crushed on for the better part of three years with whom the context has never been right.

Pimping Mrs P

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:00:30 +0000

The woman clutched my arm. The first wave of feeling that hit me - when my mind frozen for an instant by the brazen grab - was fear, and then confusion, as she peered intently into my face with not even the faintest hint of recollection bouncing about in my head. She wasn’t wearing the flowing robes of an aladura prophetess, thus ruling out a smash-and-grab prophesy as the reason for her intrusion. Something about the deeply lined face, the light grey hair peeking out from underneath her tight head wrap and her uber thick lenses left me positively unsettled.

Thankful....

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 20:01:59 +0000

Just because…

AJ McSedge CEng does have a nice ring to it, if I say so myself… Leaving XCorp in 2008 does feel that bit more justified now.. :)

#10 - Colton Dixon - You are

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 11:00:25 +0000

American Idol alum (Season 11) Colton Dixon’s ‘You Are’

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM8hxE-j4T8&w=540 ]

---——————————————————————————————————————– ♫ When I can’t find the words to say how much it hurts/ You are the healing in my heart/ When all that I can see are broken memories/ You are the light that’s in the dark ♫

Kicking off the3six5NG Project

Sat, 02 Mar 2013 11:00:57 +0000

Sir Farouk does a far more eloquent job than I have ever managed of explaining what we’ve been trying to do for the past six weeks with #the3six5NG project - creating a crowd sourced diary of Nigerian perspectives from 365 people for 365 days. Inspired by the Len Kendall and Daniel Honigman created the3six5, we’d set out to create our own ’local’ the3six5, for Nigeria and Nigerians.

I had the honour of kicking things off yesterday with a meditation of sorts on the interactions between birth, new beginnings and the perpetual motion machine that my life has evolved into over the last three years. Others have signed up to share a snippet of their world for all of March 2013. April is filling up.

FF

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:56:15 +0000

Met FF for a coffee whilst in Lagos. Prior to that I’d felt like she’d checked all my boxes bar the genotype one. Meeting up for a coffee was the physical chemistry ’test’ for me and I felt we passed it in glowing colours. She looked smashing in a pink, floral dress and red shoes and we did have great conversation.

Fortuitously, my married friends I&A dropped me off and picked me up and did pick up on her great personality. Problem is I do not know if she likes me like that. I suppose I could ask, but given the small matter of a few miles, and my history of crucially misjudging interest in the past, there’s a cross roads of sorts. Rotating out of Lagos for a few months on the potential new job will help in this regard, I think.

Unravelled

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 21:49:03 +0000

And so I decided I’d had enough of being neither here nor there with TOj, and asked her if she was seeing someone. The good news was that she wasn’t; the somewhat crushing bad was that in her words, there wasn’t even a sliver of interest in yours truly…..

#Unravelled

Forgetting

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 18:54:42 +0000

Image Source


I catch myself sighing -
Laboured breath held,
And then expelled
Like the unsteady,
Weary chug of a steam
Locomotive as it drags
Its weighty backsides
Up a steep incline.

My dreams, a hurried,
Harried concoction
Of fevered, whispered
Half phrases and fearsome
Visions of a searing inner fire
Haunt me, my mind
Slowly numbed
by the intense,
Unforgettable clarity
of a growing insanity
And the delirium of delusion.

The first time I saw you
You were a distant-
blob of light, bright pink,
shimmering red, blazing sun-
shine, driving dirty,
grey snow into the
corner of Kings and Guilds.

Between there and here
Is something irretrievably broken
a gangrenous, festering sore
That refuses to heal, its ochre
Colour, the colour of dried blood.

I catch myself sighing,
Laboured breath held
And then expelled slowly
Like a puff of cigar smoke.
But in the distance,
Like a storm cloud bringing rain after a drought
Is the redemption of the forget-ting

About Town - London Balling

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 23:02:53 +0000

The little kid - he’s barely eleven months - plods after his mother, hanging onto her left leg, and bawling. She has her hair swept back, hidden by the folds of the scarf she has around her head, is bedecked in baggy pants and has that forlorn, tired look only the hassle of splitting her attention between steaming pots of rice, partly boiled chicken and her 11 month old bundle of energy can cause.

Neither here nor There

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 21:43:31 +0000

TOj and I have maintained extensive conversations over the last couple of weeks or so. But in what must surely count for an oddity, the outcome of the conversations is the sense of being neither here nor there. It might be the fact that we have always known each other in a different context that’s added a layer of awkwardness to it all.

The big question, looming large at the back of my mind therefore is if it’s time to cut my losses to ensure we remain just friends, or if it’s worth the gamble of finding out how she feels about me.

#5 - Worn - Tenth Avenue North

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:04:41 +0000

Worn - Tenth Avenue North ---———————– ♫ Let me see redemption win /Let me know the struggle ends /That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn /I want to know a song can rise /From the ashes of a broken life /And all that’s dead inside can be reborn /Cause I’m worn ♫

#4 - On My Own - Ashes Remain

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 11:00:29 +0000

The fantastically named Ashes Remain - and their back story.

Subtly falling, or not...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 22:45:06 +0000

Post London, TOj and I have kept in touch - primarily extended conversations about everything; work, life, failed loves and the stereotypes of Nigerian dudes in London as being primarily baby mama creators rather than the marrying kind.

Not sure where that leaves me, being the never married, single-since-April-2011 dude who has only being in two relationships all his life. We do have a knack for great conversations between us, it must be said, in addition to all the elements of the future Mrs S spreadsheet that she checks.

London Calling - A post-moterm

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:00:53 +0000

Back… Tired.. But excited in the main.

The flight to Luton was delayed both ways (Note to self avoid Luton/ EasyJet like a plague unless it is absolutely necessary) - the small positive being that I saved a shed load of money over what I would have paid had I gone for the full BA shebang through Heathrow. What Luton did though was put pressure on my return trip, I had to catch the First Capital Connect from Victoria to Luton as early as 3pm to make my flight which meant I ended up having to cut short what turned out to be a surprisingly decent weekend away.

#3 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow - Amy Winehouse

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 11:00:12 +0000

Uplifting and depressing in equal measure..

London calling...

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 04:22:47 +0000

London calls… Having manfully beaten its lure over the holidays to enable a much needed season of introspection, I had to cave in to summons over the phone from my Uncle C, especially because he and el madre seemed to be in cahoots on this one.

Ostensibly, the reason for the summons are my lack of endeavour in the girl stakes. My strategy has been to keep them in the dark on the details of my love life/ non-love life. Somehow Uncle C convinced Mum that our corner of the world up in Scotland is a hell hole of sorts with next to zero prospects of meeting eligible women, hence the need to get me out there in London.

#2 - Hope Will Lead Us On - BarlowGirl

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 11:00:12 +0000

Pity it’s their last song.. Lyrics here.

About Town: The Recapping Christmas Edition

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:00:35 +0000

And so I survived my first Aberdeen Christmas in a long while. It was with more than a little trepidation that I faced the end of the year; the niggling thought at the back of my mind initiated by the sudden realisation that my policy of disengaging from the myriad friendzoneships I was mired in had left me with no real excuse to make what had become fairly regular trips across the pond. Newcastle and London, as always, were temptingly good options - Newcastle because of the old school mates still down there, and London for the promise of piping hot moi-moi and the chance of a first face to face in near on two years with my super wing-woman K. Given my memories of my one and only Aberdeen Christmas to date - bucket loads of snow, lugging suitcases on to and off trains as I made the move up North, and missing a rendezvous with the only guy I knew in town at the time - I suppose my fears were justified if not entirely expected.

Paradigm shifts, Real Manhood and Lessons to relearn

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 23:21:48 +0000

The most resounding lesson I learned in 2012 - on the subject of dating - was that I had had the wrong focus. In writing up lists, developing strategies and being gung-ho about the women in my life, I may have missed the point. If I must make true progress through 2013, a paradigm shift of sorts is most required.

In focusing almost exclusively on finding a wife, I may have focused far too much on the what and the potential whos and not enough on myself and the key question - am I living the sort of life the man the sort of woman I would want to marry would commit to? The great woman whose life I am meant to improve (even as she significantly improves mine) will have certain standards and values which I have to meet. If I gave myself a really good, long hard look I have to admit that although I meet most of the financial, physical and social criteria such a woman might want, my various worldview issues mean that I am not in a place to deliver the sort of spiritual leadership such a woman would crave.

#1 - Steady My Heart - Kari Jobe

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 11:00:45 +0000

My favourite part:

And I will run to You And find refuge in Your arms And I will sing to You Cause of everything You are

Lyrics Here.

In retrospect - wrapping up the L debacle

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 12:07:55 +0000

Definitely blown, and I think at its core the failed dalliance was of my own making in being too keen. Given the year I’d had - with close on 18 months without any interest in females as I sought to deal with the lingering wounds and the fall out from the last serious relationship - I suppose I could be forgiven for letting go too quickly when a smart, attractive young woman who ticked all the critical boxes suddenly came into the picture. I’d sworn I was over E a year ago, but not until the fates conspired to bring L my way did the realisation that I had grossly understated the extent of the pain I still was in sink in.

2013 - The Plan

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 19:39:33 +0000

Develop a daily practice of meditation, prayer and journaling
- Complete 40 consecutive days of prayer
- Make morning prayer meetings @ FOL three times a week (M, W, F)
Weigh 80kg
- Gym thrice a week (M,W, S)
- Improve eating habits - cut down on eba, soup and rice
- Use myfitnesspal.com as food journal
Save 30% of Net earnings
- Min of £1k per month
- Target 12k extra saved this year
Improve Professionally, get Chartered engineer status
- Receive feedback on IMarEST CEng application
- ASME Level 2 Plant Inspector/ NACE Snr Corrosion Technologist certification
- Register for a PhD in corrosion, materials and or welding (Newcastle/ Manchester/Cranfield)
Get a driver’s license:
- Pass theory test,
- Get a driving teacher on retainer
- Get 20 hours practice in
- Get full driver’s license
Resolve long term settlement options
- Base plan - Remain in Aberdeen + progress professional development opportunities(see #4 above)
- Only seek to leave Aberdeen if US/ Canada/Australia opportunities open up
Resolve my dating conundrums; target being in a stable committed relationship by YE 2013:
- Clear all people I’m currently stuck in the friend zone with, gain clarity (Mo, Fola, Ese etc
- Gain knowledge about Dating and Relationships the Godly way;
- Prayerfully pursue the woman God has prepared.
Find a spiritual mentor
Take 2 main trips
- Nigeria
- US (Depending on where I am with Project M by Q3 2013)
  - Oklahoma ?
  - Houston
- Spain or Portugal
Complete a writing project - the3six5N
Buy a house (2 bed)
- Requirements: 2 bed room flat, city centre apartment, parking space, etc
tba

Between Two Worlds...

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 17:21:15 +0000

It will have been five years this year since I made the decision to up sticks, pack in the life I had lived up till that time and head out in the great unknown that was grad school, and what it would ultimately lead to a hiatus from Nigeria.

On paper I had a good life. A job that left me squarely ensconced in the safe, settledness of middle class Nigerian life, the prospect of a final salary pension with the option of cashing out at age 45 if I so wished, and the almost cast iron guarantee of an average 20% pay rise every two years thanks to an aggressive union.

2012 - The wrap

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:59:34 +0000

Dickens most eloquently captured the paradox that was the year I had in that most evocative of openings to A Tale of Two Cities:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. We had everything before us, we had nothing before us,

2012: The Twelve Things Wrap

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 18:06:01 +0000

2012 was to be the the year of just 12 things. If I learned anything it is that life’s far removed from the order and clarity of an excel spreadsheet complete with target dates and milestones. Most importantly perhaps was that I gave living a good go in 2012, whether that was a success or not is a whole other conversation.

So here goes:

Develop a daily practice of meditation, prayer and journaling: I struggled with this all year - and for a variety of reasons, not least because work ebbed and flowed through the year, God and I didn’t see eye to eye for the larger part of the year and my 2012 was an emotional roller coaster. I did improve over 2011, but real work, and focus, are required through 2013 on this. Thankfully, I stumbled on this post on the Justin Taylor blog. That should come in handy I suppose.
Lose 20kg: I lost 7 kg - returning to the weight I was in 2008 when I left my Nigerian job. Walking to and from work each day certainly helped, but the big kick came post November when I joined a gym and cycled twice a week for 30 minutes. Losing the remaining 13kg has to be a focus area for 2013 - if I do not end up adding a few more thanks to the swathe of Christmas parties and the associated gin and tonics and rich pudding I had to down all through December.
Read (and review) 25 books in 2012: I read the books - a grand total of twelve - and bar three barely there reviews, this was a colossal failure.
Call parents and siblings once a week: This was the one area I excelled in. A particularly testy November/ December required a lot more phone calls to the family than I am used to. The one small positive from all that is that we have bonded and grown together as a family.
Save £1,000 a month: Plan was to cut out the soft loans which I typically never got back and scaling back on my gadget buying sprees. I did pretty well here until December - and I am blaming the emotional turmoil of navigating my season of detox for the retail therapy I needed to pull through. :)
Get Chartered Engineer status: Ended up gaining professional membership of two institutes. Spending the greater part of the year waiting on a slot for the professional review interview meant this slipped. A chance opening in December ensured I did get the PRI sorted, January should bring confirmation of what the decision is - hopefully it’s a pass and I can check the CEng box after 8+ years of working!
Get a driver’s license: This was about an EPIC fail as possible - I never even got to take the theory test.
Resolve long term settlement options: I flip-flopped on this. At some stage I was certain that the future lay in Canada, and I actually seriously began interviewing for a role in the cold, wintry realms of Fort McMurray. Then L happened, the details of the role I was chasing didn’t quite fit what I wanted (more tailored towards someone with refining and sour gas corrosion experience as against my oil/gas/condensate/offshore pipelines experience and I fell out of love with the idea of (yet another) move. In a sense there was resolution, I am more likely to remain in Aberdeen, unless something significant happens to change my views, which given the history is not unlikely.
Resolve my dating and meeting issues: I did end up de-cluttering my head - in a round about way after nearly eighteen months of moping around. Strangely, it took meeting L, and getting to enjoy her company, to give me the jolt I needed to let go and realise there was a whole sea of smart, likeable women out there. Small mercies, even though it doesn’t look like L and I will work out after all.
Complete FAN integration: Plan was to reengage with the Youth group at church as a way to get some more activity into my life. I did end up leaving this late - the year end party was a blast, and I did sign up to get more involved. Fingers crossed.
Re-engage with FOL service: 2011 was a year to forget - 2012 was marginally better - even though God did find me in early November. Hopefully 2013’s a lot better with my rengagement with the technical/ media team and the Youth group.
Find a mentor: My friend O became a defacto mentor through the course of the year as I pulled my CEng application together and worked through my girl issues, as were Izz and Dee my wing-women-in-chief. On the work front MrG was more pain and bother than help, but it was all in good spirit and helped to ease my various work related transitions through the year.

All told, again a fairly reasonable year - a few misses/ near misses but overall ending in a better place than where I started the year… Hoping 2013’s a lot better too, and the momentum from the last two months of the year carries over. :)

2012 - The Year of the Detox

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 22:07:30 +0000

Although a year and some ago I thought I had truly gotten over the pain of the EJ debacle, I still managed to spend Christmas stateside attending a wedding, hanging with mutual friends and kind of hoping I would run into her. Neither happened, and when push came to shove I couldn’t bring myself to take the short hop across town to the city where she now lived. Coming into 2012 then, the targe t was to resolve a number of the other friendzoneships I had somehow gotten sucked in over the years.

#148 - Homeward

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 12:35:51 +0000

For prompt 148 at the Magpie Tales, a repost.


[![Andy Magee - homeward](/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/andy-magee-homeward.jpg)](/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/andy-magee-homeward.jpg)

Though tears like a river course down like rain, And your heart by cupid’s fiery barbs is rent. Although your cracked voice breaks out in wails, And hell with all its fury and fiends seem sent. Be still, Stay strong, you’ll make it home.

Though fear like a cloak your mind enshrouds, And rabid voices, your reasoning besiege. Though Night descends, your dreams to hound, And heart beats resonate to a symphony of rage. Be still, Stay strong, you’ll make it home.

Amnesia

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:55:25 +0000

For Prompt #145 at the Magpie Tales, and PawPaw, who left too soon.


His broken memory
no longer can relate
to her gentle touch-
Or the quiet reassurance
of her gnarled fingers
atop his wrinkled skin.
Or the long faded recollection
of the taste of smoked bush meat
chased down his thirsty throat
by frothy cups
of sweet palm wine.

He no longer can
remember the smell-
of moth balls – hanging
like a pall, around her clothes
a wispy cloud driven out
from before the eastward Sun
as it streaks across the sky.

But the dirty red chair
constant like the sun remains-
a signpost to a past
he can no longer reach
A place where once
Upon a Life there was a love
And a bond so strong
Though he barely remembers
He still can't quite forget

Thankful Thursday #47

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 19:17:02 +0000

Thankful for:

More progress on Mum’s health - not quite the all clear yet, but she’s strong enough to speak clearly and has been discharged. Chemo continues though. #SmallMercies
More progress on the two main job fronts I am exploring - met the second HR person from the CNRL hiring team, got an email from the Recruiter for the Maersk role giving updates. Big next week coming up for these two roles as it were.
Finding God, or Him finding me, which sounds more like it because I haven’t done anything significantly different. Thankful for the new phase of quiet confidence I am in at the moment. #GodRocks

Song of the week: History - Matthew West.

On Repeat: When The Tears Fall - The Newsboys

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 15:31:35 +0000

For the good, and the not so good ….

#FabReads - How Will You Measure Your Life - Clay Christensen

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 18:00:56 +0000

In his 2012 book, How Will You measure Your Life, Clay M Christensen attempts to analyse three key life pursuits from the perspective of the theories he teaches to his MBA students at Harvard Business School, looking to extract ideas which when applied to life will ensure that the outcomes we get are aligned with the outcomes we say we want. The three areas he concentrates on are Career, Relationships and the very aptly captioned ‘Staying Out of Prison’. A few highlights:

Thankful Thursdays #46

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:31:43 +0000

Thankful for:

Progress with Mum’s health. Got sucked into an emergency surgery but by all accounts she’s getting close to the all clear.
Progress on two main job chasing fronts - CNRL & Maersk. Fingers crossed!
Finally reaching a place where I am slowly weaning myself off my intense fixation on L.
Three day work weeks, and options aplenty to pick and choose form.

Bring on the harvest dear God!

Blown...Or Not

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 19:08:38 +0000

Between too many cooks - my friend OO was overly keen to play match maker and may have spilled too much information - and my being a little bit too keen for meetups and hangouts, my girl crush might have been spooked :(

I do need my life back - the controlled, spread sheet driven, ordered experience that it used to be, not one filled with long nights tossing and turning, pondering innumerable what-ifs and why/why not my messages have not been replied…..

About Town: The Essential Guide to (Aberdonian) Cab Conversations

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 15:00:52 +0000

There are only so many taxi rides that you can take before you begin to pick up on the subtleties of maintaining inane conversations. And if your default mode of transport is a taxi, you have no choice but to cultivate the art, unless awkward silence is your forte. Here then in no specific order are the non threatening things that keep coming up for me in my journeys in the Aberdeen area.

On Repeat: Outta My Mind - Anthem Lights

Sun, 11 Nov 2012 11:05:43 +0000

Rediscovered thanks to UCB Radio

Lyrics here:

#130 - Osmosis

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 20:08:41 +0000

Delirium, for the We Write Poems prompt Osmosis;


You catch her eye
on the corner of King's
and Guild's, rush
of bright pink, blush.
Gaze, furtive.

A coy smile
works its way
across her face,
before she disappears.
A bird, startled as by
a twig snapped underneath
the lumbering feet
of her unwary hunter-
Half dream, half mirage,
half stolen, garbled-
fairy tale.

You feel the fever-
dry skin, throbbing head.
Unrequited memory like
the force of a hammer
against rock, a blunt axe,
Patagonian rosewood, a caged bird,
tethered to it's roost.

Your siren's sung-
her half song, half lure.
And like five bowstrings
plucked till worn-
all you have
is the unsated thirst
of your delirium.

Crossroads

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 22:34:36 +0000

Canada: The country after my heart, thanks to stumbling on a description of the low population, arctic in Kurt Koch’s demons and Demonology. Problem is the relatively high entry cost for me - uprooting myself from my life of the last three years, loss of income and the costs of chasing further studies required to break into that part of the world.

A girl: The girl I think I like enough to, in the words of Clay Christensen, devote my life to making happy; and who has only just moved to Aberdeen and is adamant she’s got a two year plan before she buggers off to Nigeria.

The Day Before You - Matthew West

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 10:22:53 +0000

Humble pie-d

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 21:52:26 +0000

Further to your application for the position of ***, I am writing to advise that you have not been selected for interview on this occasion.

We have received other applications from candidates whose skills and experience more closely matched the role criteria. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the interest you have shown in this role and we hope our decision will not deter you from applying for any other suitable vacancies in the future.

About Town: Ambles and Musings...

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:00:20 +0000

It is no real surprise that I wake up on Saturday morning with an overwhelming urge to leave my house and let the cold, crisp air clear my head; a succession of events having left me feeling emotionally over extended as though more activity had been packed into the preceding two week period than the entirety of the year before that. My friends O and Alf must bear some of the responsibility for catalyzing those events, as does a not quite out-of-the-blue response to an application I had, almost as a matter of last resort, tossed out three months before. A brown roll and an egg chased down with a cup of strong black coffee and a quick Google search later, I am awake enough to grab my water proof jacket and head out into the streets with the Torry Battery as my destination.

On repeat.....

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 10:30:31 +0000

iLike…

Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande [ Lyrics]

Thankful Thursdays #43

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 19:59:50 +0000

Thankful for:

Crushes: For the buzzzzzz they bring, the hint of delirious joy, and Everything!
Work mates: And banter laid on a bit too heavy at times, but the sense of being fully integrated gives off a good feel for me.
4 day work weeks: Off to Edinburgh this weekend. Four day week this week and next, #Bliss

Girl Crush-ing... Hypothetically....

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 12:26:24 +0000

I think I have a crush.

…… And what is perhaps most disconcerting about the waxing and waning of this particular attraction is just how atypical its advent has been. For one she is well and truly outside the +/- 2.5 year band that I once swore to live and die by… And perhaps most importantly, the sum of our interaction over the last one month, one week and six days has been fifteen emails, five phone calls and one handshake; hardly a compelling oeuvre for a bloke whose standard MO - bar the not exactly happily-ever-after spring mis adventure from 2009 - has primarily been based on weighing pros and cons, extensive googling due diligence and incremental engagement rather than a full on pursuit.

Stumbled on...

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 19:31:11 +0000

Spent the weekend migrating my emails and documents between computers and stumbled on this email exchange, which I was cc’ed on, from my days on the fringes of the student association during my MSc a few years ago.. Our (Nigerian) verbosity is almost certainly genetic, I think! Enjoy!

Dear Comrades,

Having perused and assimilated the content of this mail, I awaited intelligent responses from the house on this germaine issue that has precipitated. Fortunately it seems the house finds this subject too mundane, trivial and bereft of credibility, with contents premised on lack of tact and knowledge of due process in electorial affairs. However in the spirit of comradeship,I have taken it upon my humble self to initiate this thread which I hope will serve to enlighten our Exco on how these state affairs are conducted for a laudable house as ours.

Thankful Thursdays #42

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 22:03:04 +0000

Thankful for:

Progress: After moaning on and on about being seemingly at a stand still my grad school applications appear to be moving again - received admission documents to the Welding Engineering program at Kirkland Lake, my Nigerian transcripts and references I’d requested from one of my old mates back in Nigeria.
Timely pick-me-ups: My small circle of friends comes through time and time again. This time I am thankful for the one buddy who responded to my (admittedly attention seeking :p tweet) about hurtling on, my cryptic expression for the phase of life where I feel like I am at a stand still. There was a whole back story to that, but I’m thankful for the listening ear.
Knowledgeable others: That I remain single is not for want of trying on my friends’ parts. Even though it sometimes feels like meddling, I have to admit it gives me a wee boost to know that they feel like I have unique selling points that will improve the lives of their sisters, nieces and best friends. :) That’s my reason and I’m sticking to it.

Baby Birthdays, failed détente and motherly ultimatums

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 21:59:43 +0000

In what must be a first for me, I get invited to a birthday party over WhatsApp. Truth be told, there were mitigating circumstances. Although the parent in question and I have some tenuous familial connection - my grand father and her grand mother somehow managed to get entangled in the far distant haze that is a few generations ago - she and I haven’t stayed much in touch, in spite of us living the the small matter of the length of Union Street apart. I suppose the invitation was one last hopeful punt in my direction. If it was, it worked, the twin attractions of something to do on a Saturday afternoon and proper Nigerian food proving too strong for even I the quintessential recluse. Izzy, the kid in question had just turned One, and her parents keen to celebrate the milestone were putting together a small get together for the guys; for that I was very much a willing eater.

On My Return to the Middle of Nowhere

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 16:00:39 +0000


[Source]

I seem to have the knack for choosing the shittiest days to go offshore. Last November I end up stuck for an extra three days, thanks to Ambisagrus going berserk and my helicopter flight getting cancelled. Speaking to the heli-admin late on Monday as I confirm my booking, I have her take a quick look at the weather forecast; she confirms there are no extraordinary weather events forecast for the rest of the week. Satisfied, I confirm my check-in time and head out to pack my bags and plan.

Nigeria @52

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 04:07:50 +0000

Three years ago, I was really bitter about my Nigeria experience. Not a lot had changed since then, and arguably the country in general is in worse shape with a President more content to remain in power than effect change from the looks of it, and committing gaffes by the dozen… Sigh.

Seasons of discontent, a Nigerian wedding and other musings

Mon, 24 Sep 2012 15:00:05 +0000

Although it is only September, there has been a certain nippiness to the last few Aberdonian mornings. If I believed the weather app on my phone – and the state of my ears when my brisk twenty minute walk ends with my bum at my office desk suggests that this is the case - it has barely been warmer than 7 deg C on each of the last few mornings I have walked in to work. Besides the early morning chill, fall has remained frustratingly true to type; too warm to warrant breaking out the full shebang of a knee length winter coat, but yet too cold to be out and about with only a wind breaker for protection. If how many people already sport winter coats is anything to go by, I’m up there in the upper 10% in the hardiness stakes. When it slips out in an unguarded moment of banter with my mother, she thinks it is silly. I suspect all it will take to prove her right is coming down with the flu, if history is any judge, a clogged nose awaits me in the not too distant future.

Breakfast (or a crappy ode to coffee)

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 22:34:32 +0000

For the prompt Breakfast at the Magpie Tales

Breakfast, 1921, Fernand Leger


hold your head-
steady between your hands;
bow your head
as though in supplication-
and let the strong,
sweet scent
slowly wafting up-
hit you.

see your face-
faint silhouette,
three day stubble,
matted hair-
and tired eyes
reflected in the cup
and bow in reverence
to its quickening
power.

wrap your hands
around its base
and feel the warmth.
drink deep, swirl it's dregs
in your mouth's
backparts
and let the waves
of unfettered joy
course through your veins

give in -
and kneel
in full surrender
to the joy
of your dark,
black cup.

(A Hankering for) Simple(r) Days...

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 16:01:31 +0000

J. Winterson: Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:00:35 +0000

WHEN MY MOTHER was angry with me, which was often, she said, ‘The Devil led us to the wrong crib'

So begins Jeanette Winterson’s autobiography, a meditation of sorts on growing up adopted and the descent into dystopia that was her childhood; spent growing up in a Pentecostal home being groomed to be a missionary. It is a childhood that is quintessentially evangelical, replete with very regular church meetings, Biblical literalism, corporeal punishment and a feening for the apocalyptic dawn of the next world to the detriment of the enjoyment of this one. Looming large in that phase of growing up is the image of her adoptive mother, a controlling creature, intensely fundamentalist and addicted to her cigarettes, who both in her quiet moments and in her moments of rage ruled the roost,with the young Jeanette and her adoptive father as collateral damage. Being adopted, and the uncertainties this brings to family relations is a recurring motif in the book, and her successful search to find her birth mother takes us through an emotional wringer.

Weekends of debauchery, blasts from the past and a return to a home of sorts

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 22:22:46 +0000

Three quarters of the way through the year, I find I still have just under three weeks of holidays left - and that does not include the productivity black-hole that is the last week of December when all and sundry truly grinds to a halt. Once again, in spite of my plans to not be in this situation, I have ended up hoarding holidays again, the plan being to use them as a make weight in lieu of notice as my plan to swap cold, windy, Aberdeen for the slightly warmer, but more rural climes that are Kirkland Lake. The BossMan has made it clear there will be no carry overs this year, and he has made sure to ping the appropriate warning email in my direction in addition to the automated ones sent by our holiday tracking software. All told after one too many reminders, I log on to Teamseer and fire off holiday requests for an extended weekend.

Milestones, lessons learned and unintended intermissions

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 22:31:02 +0000

It was my birthday a few weeks ago, and what should have been a routine, barely noticeable bump on the flat line that has become the ultra predictable, safety first, thirty-something year old life that is my lot somehow morphed into a swirling mess of mildly depressive emotions. The trigger was an epiphany of sorts, one that I had no business having. If having that epiphany was odd, where it hit was even odder - midway through my morning ablutions, just before the commode gave way to a four minute duel with sensodyne and a power toothbrush. Leading up to it, I was stoking along nicely, keeping up with my annual birthday ritual - deactivating my facebook account, turning off all but my private phone and lobbing a text message in the direction of the one friend I know whose birthday is in the same week as mine.

Far far landing...

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 17:57:29 +0000

For the prompts Far far landing on We Write Poems and Mag 130 on the Magpie tales


the distance claimed you -
seven rivers, seven valleys
and seven mountains too.

fuzzy memories,shadows
wrapped around browned skin -
like a caul - hide you;
till like a distant
shimmering mirage
you fade into the space
where sky meets earth
and where like a pilgrim
I have been drawn
by the call of the muezzin.

the old women
by the river tell tales-
of muttered blessings
of redemption, and of rebirths
where like butterflies
shedding their cocoons
we may arise in peace
on that far flung,
far far landing.

Sunday delights, deconstructing the Nigerian conundrum and difficult work moments

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 04:32:11 +0000

An altogether forgettable weekend - and at my age they all are - is bookended by a pit stop at Union Square for lunch with a friend of a friend. A random conversation a couple of weeks ago about (yet another) mutual friend and my lack of proactivity had ended up in a challenge of sorts being issued in my direction. Three phone calls later - with a few text messages thrown in - I end up making my way up the stairs towards the safe bet that is Nandos for a quick bite and chat. I arrive early - knowing Union Square, getting a table can be a hassle on sunny Sunday afternoons - the added advantage being that I get to see her first, and the satisfaction that she fits the image I have of her in my head. We order simple food - lime and herb flavoured chicken with a mixed leaf salad for me and a ratatouille for her and bottomless drinks and make small talk over the course of an hour and a half. All told it is a pleasant afternoon, and but for the fact that I have dodgy genes, and family history I would already be inventing scenarios involving white picket fences and 2.1 kids in my head. :) Given the choice, I would most certainly like an encore by all accounts.

A Dinner Table At Night

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 18:20:17 +0000

For the prompt at Magpie Tales. I couldn’t shake the impression of distance from my mind (he is looking in her direction, whilst she is looking into the distance)

A Dinner Table at Night, 1884, John Singer Sargent


There is silence here -
There is fear, and the dense
Stultifying pall of hurt-
and of memories unresolved.

I have been here before-
On the cusp of this uncharted
Sea, tottering on the edge
Of this yawning chasm, willing
Myself like a puppet on a string
To not tip over, to not
Be swallowed up in the flames
Of the Sango death ritual;
Like a mannequin sinks-
Weighed down by a necklace
Of milestones - into the depths
Of a cold calm sea.

Water drops glistening
In the subtle shade of red lamps,
Wine shimmering in the barely there light
Cannot fade the gloom;

And in her eyes as she looks away
For one last time
Is the cold detached lost-ness
Of a tomorrow that will never be.

The Dating Wrap #4

Sun, 05 Aug 2012 22:28:29 +0000

More of the same fare form the last few months I think:

MoSli’s gone dark this last week, prior to that we had good conversations, even providing [largely unhelpful] thoughts on some dresses she was looking to order for her big 3-0 birthday jaunt.
Mme.P emailed out of the blue - I’d missed the opportunity to catch up with her when she was in London and quite frankly I was beginning to think it was an opportunity that was long lost., fingers crossed
Meesha and I have had two telephone conversations which ended very well if i say so, and we’ve a meetup planned.

On a strategy level, I do need to get some clarity in my head. Have been reading the He’s Just Not That Into You, and I suppose some of the excuses hit close home. Long story short, if I really am into a girl, I have to toss off my natural reservations and let her know….. Interesting

About Town: Slivers of summer, art in the 'Deen and stumbling on my first Tartan Parade

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 20:45:39 +0000

The sun is out, belatedly, and in its weakly warm, barely there, almost autumnal pall I feel a small sense of relief that summer has not passed us by in its entirety out here in our little wind swept corner of the world. Not since the back end of May have we had weather remotely resembling summer; and with this tiny sliver of sunshine comes the urge to go out and do something. Thankfully Union Square with all its delights - and sun bathed open spaces - is only a brisk ten minute walk away from work, so I make a few phone calls and get my two friends from across town to agree to a meetup to catchup over lunch. We end up - and there must be no prizes for guessing here - at Nandos and we order our now standard fare, a platter of peri-peri chicken and a variety of sides to share. I go for a mixed leaf salad - between Sister #1 and the Irish drinkard, calorie counting has become my new obsession. My buddies, not shackled by the need to rein in bulging waistlines - both go for other less healthy options; OOO going for two sides of rice and Og going for a large serving of peri-peri salted chips. Between placing my initial order, and getting my loyalty card swiped, it turns out my last but one visit has entitled me to an extra half serving of chicken, which I add to my current order. All told we end up binging on a chicken and a half in the hour we spend there. Fully fed, with sagging guts and brains groaning at the small matter of another four hours of work, we down our coffees and leave to start heading back up to work. Having safely dispatched them to their cars, I settle in on one of the benches in front of the Union Square building to catch another half hour of sunshine before heading back to work.

About Town: Chance Meetings, Moments of Discomfort and a life-in-a-song moment

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:40:30 +0000

A sudden bout of hunger assails me just before the clock chimes 5.00pm and I find myself making a detour - turning left at Guild Street and then making a beeline for the KFC on Union Street. Usually at this time of the day the singular focus is to get myself home, settle on my couch with a bowl of cold cereal and unwind with a Big Bang Theory/How I Met Your Mother TV marathon. Even the spectre of steaming morsels of eba potentially chasing themselves down my throat in short order is not enough to draw me home - the coup de grâce is, I suspect, the fact that it has been the better part of six months since I have savoured the fiery goodness of battered, deep fried chicken.

Reflection - Some things to be thankful for

Sat, 14 Jul 2012 22:54:25 +0000

Measured against the original iteration of the five year plan, my life couldn’t be more off target than it is at the moment - I had myself getting married at 26 with two children done and dusted by the time I turned 30, a PhD being progressed, and being on course to retire at 40. At the time I was sitting on the veritable cash cow that was a plum job assuring integrity for a Nigerian operator, and the thoughts of retiring at forty were in part due to the very generous pension provisions at the time.

Milestones

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 04:09:13 +0000

As far as epiphanies go, I suspect my latest one - bang in the middle of stooping to grab some soap whilst running a warm shower - stands right there as one of the more unexpected. The epiphany was the realisation, somewhat belatedly from the looks of it, that any pretensions of continuing youth I may have retained no longer hold water. Where once I could hide behind being under 30, and then being just over 30, turning 33 means that I am nearer 35 than 30. There goes what was at best a tenuous grip on wannabe coolness!

Waiting

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:23:55 +0000

The worst thing is the waiting - the alternative flip-flopping between the giddy heights of anticipation and the cold, calculated, calmness of detached pragmatism. Somehow or the other I have managed to find myself waiting on responses back from a whole slew of people - the Professor I am looking to work with on the Welding Program at Northern, the PRI Coordinator who needs to revert with a date for my Professional Review Interview and the neither here nor there email and skype exchanges between myself and Mlles S and P.

The Dating Wrap III

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 04:29:35 +0000

The one thing I feared would happen post Sister #2’s wedding was that the pressure to deliver on a steady relationship and marriage would get ratcheted up a few notches, and boy did it happen! the very next morning, Mum tried to visit with the kid brother and I, ostensibly to catch up with us, with the subtle undertone of trying to find out what our demob plans were.

We managed to escape on that morning, but we could only do so for so long. I eventually got a right good earful, with a few recommendations tossed in my direction for follow up - not bad in and of themselves except for the small matter of the fact that these were people from church I didn’t know, and hadn’t seen for close on ten years.

0. Postscript

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 17:00:55 +0000

I struggled to not slip into an overly pessimistic, dystopian view of Nigeria with all its troubles. In the few intervening years I have been away, the Nigerian tragedy has hit close home. As with most other people, it turned out that the Dana air crash had claimed a fairly recent acquaintance of my father’s as it did a couple of friends of friends of Sister #1. It also transpired that she - whether by some quirk of fate, divine orchestration, or plain old chance - had resigned from her poorly paid job as a doctor in the police officers hospital the Friday before the Monday Boko Haram’s bloodbath hit the IG’s offices. One day late and that could have gotten really personal.

6. The Return

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:55:49 +0000

MMA International

On a clear, cloudless day, Amsterdam from above looks like a patch work quilt, its greenery criss-crossed by a network of canals, an endlessly repeating pattern; broken only by the shore line, and a little further out the silhouettes of oil rigs, an enduring monument to the Dutch pride of place in the scavenging of North Sea Oil.

On the morning of my return to cold, wet and windy Aberdeen, I find myself half asleep, mentally pulling myself up by my very own bootstraps to remain awake as my City Hopper makes the hour forty five minute hop from Amsterdam to Aberdeen. Ever since an ever so slight snore embarrassed me a few years ago, I have tried to minimise future risks by limiting how often I fall asleep in public places. There were mitigating circumstances then - EJ might be best placed to tell if I indeed snore as a matter of course - I had stayed up all night studying just before a class test and I was very very knackered.

5. In Which I return to old haunts

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:50:53 +0000

My return to Benin was less about closure than reacquainting myself with the past all over again. As feared, there was an immediate fall out from the wedding – the next morning, Mother was at the door of the room I was sharing with the kid bro wanting to chat, and there could be no uncertainty about what her primary objective was. It was thus expedient to engineer a move away to the relatively low pressure of Aunt G’s back in Benin. I had an official reason for upping sticks and bailing - chasing up transcripts for the Welding Engineering PhD I may or may not require after all. The other unofficial reason was to catch up with Cousin E and her baby, Dara, the fifth and final member of the clan born since the last time I was out here.

4. On A Nigerian PK Wedding

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:47:35 +0000

You know that the bride’s wedding gown will be ultra conservative as will be those for the bridal train. There will be no low cut, cleavage accentuating, eye candy-ish, strapless nonsense, and the hems will be at least an inch below the knee.

You know that there will be at least ten different preachers – each with the belief that he is a colossus in his own right - and where both bride and groom are PKs, they might be nearer fifty than not. You know that the program will be tweaked to provide an opportunity for every one of them to do something – give a word of admonition, pray, or lead the reading of the vows, or take a thanksgiving offering. You know that every speech and every prayer will be interminably long, as though there were an unofficial contest with a prize for the longest, most colourful speech. You know that it will be baking hot, and dry, because the powers that be have ‘decreed’ that there will be no rain.

3. Journey's end, red tape and finally a breather

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 16:45:17 +0000


Deserted... The House on the corner of 3rd and 12th.

The sun had began to lose some of its unblinking menace by the time my overloaded bus laboured up the final incline and began its descent into Ekpoma. Although we had made steady progress on the Lagos to Benin leg, navigating the maze of the Uselu - Lagos road and finding my way to the Big Joe motor park across town had taken a while and it was well past four pm before I found my not particularly comfortable seat on a bus to Ekpoma.

2. Road trips, small margins and a return to the city of red earth

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 08:05:03 +0000


Hawker, Lagos

Plan A was to catch a flight from Lagos into Benin and then a bus for the final leg of the trip to the small university town of Ekpoma, where the wedding was to hold, but the events of the last few weeks ensured that the one thing my mother insisted on was that the journey out of Lagos would be by road. I thus had to brace myself to navigate the tortuous 3oo km+ trip from Lagos into Benin with minimum fuss.

1. Eastwards

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 07:39:38 +0000

As I stand, satchel slung across my shoulder waiting for the call to board the KLM flight from Schipol to Lagos, I think back wistfully to a similar scene just over three years ago, when I stood within the Departures Lounge at the Murtala Mohammed Airport making the transit in the opposite direction. Then, as with now, it was a wedding - that of Sister #1 - that had lured me across the miles, outside the safety of what had been a year of near total insulation, back to Nigeria. In truth, the time and the distance have been mere blips on the timeline of life, but so total has the lostness been that it almost feels like I need to be reacquainted with everything all over again.

[0,0,0,0] - Reset

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 20:37:46 +0000

Back, knackered but thankful… To big resets, (almost) clean slates and ninth lives….

Nigeria Bound...

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 13:07:49 +0000

A few weeks ago when I sat down to identify the five or six things that would make 2012 the perfect year, one of the things that eventually came to the fore was carrying over zero holidays in to next year. That by itself shouldn’t have been significant, but between hoarding my holidays for what I thought would be quarterly jaunts westward and my eventual withdrawal into my time honoured silo, I ended up needing a flurry of trips late in the year to claw back what was a huge holiday backlog. Even that was not enough, I ended up losing four days having carried over the maximum seven days into the new year.

Close calls.. or not

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 06:29:23 +0000

In one of those strange turns that life alone can throw up, one of the lasses the guys were trying to get me to hook up with a scant two weeks ago got married in Nigeria.

I had ambled on to Facebook early on Sunday monday for a quick look around when I saw another friend had liked a picture on my stream. It was a picture of a dark skinned lady and a caucasian, so my interest was naturally piqued. Upon clicking further, it became clear that it was said lass getting married. Considering she lives and works in my city, there is no plausible explanation for all this being hatched and delivered in the two weeks since my buddy had tried to make the hook up. So much for his assertion that he was completely plugged in!

On traditional gender roles...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:49:30 +0000

Somehow, my increasingly regular Friday evening/night conversations with Mlle.M had an interesting segue. We had been catching up on weekend plans at the time I believe when we somehow got into the dodgy waters of traditional gender roles, and how they are expressed in modern (Nigerian) marriages and relationships.

[The overwhelming feedback I get from the women I talk to is the Nigerian man out there at the moment, irrespective of how learned he is, is one who expects a certain domestication in his women, often with a big dollop of subservience. My experience doesn’t fit that narrative though.]

Certainly Uncertain....

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 12:46:11 +0000

A few days ago, mid way through a telephone conversation with one of the lads I used to work with in my UX5 days, the delectable lass who joined a few months before I was due to leave overheard our conversation and asked to speak with me.

Even back then, in those early days of 2008, I was the bloke with a 5 year rolling plan complete with milestones, leading and lagging indicators and a roadmap. Her question had an air of inevitability to it; it had to do with the current iteration of the plan. Sadly, I could not give her the reassurances she was seeking – namely that the plan was still on track, and that an invite – amongst other things – would be winging it’s way to her Nigerian post box in the not too distant future.

The Dating Wrap - May 2012

Thu, 31 May 2012 05:14:31 +0000

Since the end of Q1 edition, quite a few changes have occurred. It turned out that in addition to the worldview issues Q and I had, she was also a carrier of the haemoglobin S trait (like I am). Given the family history I have got with losing the sister Gracie all those many years ago to sickle cell disease, that effectively put an end to any further involvement.

Interestingly, all the other potentials from the last update have more or less slipped off the front burner. AJ effectively broke contact, and I quite frankly made no effort to keep in touch, Ify’s proximity (and the fact that she lives close by) probably means that there are no real opportunities to progress in that direction anymore; and as for TheB, I suspect I am well and truly over her. Liz got back in touch after quite a few months, and we had a frank conversation, however I think we may have crossed the rubicon here.

If I had the chance to tell you one last thing

Wed, 30 May 2012 05:12:50 +0000

in the space above your head I see his face- And the memory of The us that once was Floods back, In a moment.

I see his eyes And the glee And I recognise Like the inevitable cold sweat of a bad night’s dream that we have leapt across the edge of the river of no return

If I had the chance To tell you one last thing I might tell a tale Of a thousand parts Or sing a song To cast a spell so Time would stand still Or maybe silence May be all there is To see and be.

Bitter-sweet

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:09:10 +0000

I have spent the last few days offsite attending the SPE’s Oilfield Corrosion Conference in Aberdeen. When the email invite first came through, I knew I had to be part of it. The one main gripe I have about my job is the lack of real technical content in it on an ongoing basis. I tend to get sucked into the fire fighting, reactive mode that prevents me from applying my specialist Corrosion & Materials engineering knowledge.

Strange Bedfellows

Sun, 27 May 2012 19:35:15 +0000

For the prompt Strange Bedfellows at Sunday Scribblings:

Stuck in the middle, Between the Me I used to be, And the Me I want to be, Is the Me I am now. And like perfect strangers - Waking up in the same bed After a liquor doused night and debauchery to forget, They can’t relate To just how different They really are.

Thankful Thursdays #21

Thu, 24 May 2012 20:31:57 +0000

Thankful for:

Work mentors, again
For blokes who care enough to stake their reputations on my success.

I wish I could do more to ‘deserve’ these wonderful people in my life.

Eight things I Wished I knew Eight Years Ago...

Mon, 21 May 2012 16:36:11 +0000

Eight years ago, I was a wee lad, barely 23, fresh off my year of serving the nation in the foothills of Sango; with the mellifluous, if unintelligible, sounds of the music that consistently wafted upwards from the traders that surrounded my very modest lodgings at Maraba still ringing in my ears. I was none the wiser of the ways of the world at the time – like the good son of my Mother that I still was, in addition to being the pitifully shy, introspective bloke, I still greeted older males and females as ‘Sir’ and’Ma’ - a predisposition which perhaps made me fall prey to the shenanigans of a couple of police men on my first day at work.

Thankful Thursdays #20

Thu, 17 May 2012 16:30:34 +0000

Thankful for:

Courteous road users: The final crossing before I make the right turn up the tiny road to my apartment is about as busy as it gets by the time I drag myself home. There are people turning left into the big housing complex just down the road from me, people going to see movies at the beach and all that. I often spend five or more minutes waiting for the traffic to lighten up enough for me to make a dash across the road. This week, I have had the delight of having a couple of drivers stop to allow me cross, even when they have not had to.
Resolution: How I managed to get sucked into a spat at work beats me, but I ended up exchanging almost seven emails trying to defend a technical call I made on a work item. The downside of being the Asset Integrity guy is I often have to insist on cutting back production to allow safe operation of the asset I support, and that doesn’t really sit well with the production guys. Thankfully, I took a break from the to-ing and fro-ing and allowed a day pass before sending my final reply. That and common sense prevailed in allowing us reach a compromise.
Good starts: From time to time opportunities arise at work where I get to demonstrate my technical depth. This week, I had to respond to a technical question from one of the older colleagues. Being able to provide detailed answer made my smile inwardly to myself - thankful for the grounding in Corrosion and Materials I got from my first gig at XOM.

Pouring when it rains

Wed, 16 May 2012 22:33:31 +0000

The morning after the evening when I finally decided I had had enough - of playing second fiddle to all the lasses who were or were not in my life, of being the simple nice guy whose remit was providing the shoulder to cry on and all, and seeking unilateral closure via radical surgery, I got a text message from MmeK. Apparently, she’d not been feeling very well, which was the driver for the extended period of silence. That turned out to merely be the first salvo in what would be a barrage, seemingly orchestrated by whoever runs the world, to test my staying-away-from-women resolve.

0 - Closure (The end of an era)

Sun, 13 May 2012 18:24:57 +0000

Sometime between sending an SMS that went unanswered for very nearly a day and me slipping into one of my more pensive moments, something clicked in my head - TheB is not for me. My trip westward at the back end of last year had come at some personal cost. I had been invited for an interview at one of the Nigerian multi-nationals, and given the job description, it seemed a fairly reasonable job that fit in with my longer term life direction. I chose instead to head out to Chicago, prioritising clarity around my situation with TheB higher than snagging a dream Nigerian job. Unfortunately my nervousness and her busy-ness ended up putting paid to any serious conversations.

The perfect year....

Fri, 11 May 2012 19:48:06 +0000

If I had the power to invent a perfect 2012 it would have:

A new £60k+ job in the subsea and pipelines corrosion and materials engineering sector (I think I am finally reaching saturation point with the whole topsides asset integrity engineering thing in the UK, I could use a subsea materials and welding role somewhere sunnier, like Houston or Perth :) )
Me as a Chartered Engineer
Meeting TheOne (if indeed she still exists)
Resolving my long term settlement options

Sealed with a 100 pound seed offering at church too… Fingers crossed….

Getting Ahead of Myself

Sat, 05 May 2012 15:55:05 +0000

I may have met a woman who checks a lot of the boxes on my (pared down) list:

aged between 27 and 29,
Nigerian,
a clear sense of direction and self worth,
a largely Christian world-view,
great at conversation,
and a deep appreciation and interest in the arts and travel.

The only snag is she’s half way around the world, and the last time I let myself go very quickly, I ended up burnt (with TheB). Given my history with LDRs, I would be loath to knowingly get into one. The truth though is that I may just be getting ahead of myself here…. Sigh…

Holding Pattern

Fri, 04 May 2012 11:42:11 +0000

There is treading water. And then there is lostness and the bland, depressing sameness, of everything.

There are bad night’s dreams. And then there are visions of the night - in which one writhes and like a knotted string snarled back upon itself one- finds himself at the self same starting point.

In the beat of the drums of the delirious priest and the frenzied dance that is our Faustian pact, Hope like a stubborn root - peeks out from between a rock and a hard place. And the unwilling lethargy of a quiescent dawn is forgotten, as it fades like the memory of a quick frolic in the shade of water side palms dies in the heat of a baking desert sun.

Thankful Thursdays #18

Thu, 03 May 2012 20:10:21 +0000

Thankful for:

Summer Fridays and the chance to focus on some of the more proactive/strategic components of my role at work
Conversations with my Uncle F: Even though I moan about his ‘interference’ at times, the one thing I cannot argue with is he’s walked the self same paths I’m currently walking, and he does have a good head and good intentions.
Improved work relationships: Our shared office space has been seeing a lot more laughter lately. Even though some of it is banter I’m having to lap up, I have to say I’m thoroughly enjoying myself this year from the looks of things.

Weekday debaucheries...

Tue, 01 May 2012 17:25:07 +0000

I caught my first whiff of light headedness half way through my second pint of Guinness Extra Cold – in all its frothy, 3.5 degree chilled gloriousness. The group from work – ever happy for an excuse to hit the town and splurge on the brew – had decided they were up for a second night out, a mere two months after our February jaunt, and that on a Wednesday evening no less.

Thankful Thursdays

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:05:14 +0000

Thankful for:

Work Mentors: I have begun pulling together my chartered engineer application as part of my big push to gain traction on my 12 things in 2012 program for the year. Part of the process requires getting sponsorship from a senior colleague. This week I am thankful for the implicit confidence my work colleagues have in me. As a bonus, the forms have been filled out and are almost good to ship off.
Accountability: I asked one of the lads O to hold me accountable to deliver on a number of tasks over the course of the week, and he duly delivered. This week I am thankful for his interest and willingness to make time out to remind me of the deliverables.
Travel plans: Thankful for reasons to travel to Nigeria and booked holidays.

In which I recall my memories of being a new hire...

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 11:15:44 +0000

Recovered from an old computer…. The joys of spring cleaning, I guess… Apologies for any one who finds the pidgin English excessively ‘conc’

Not too long ago I resumed at one of the much vilified companies in Nige… No complaints from me though, as long as them roger me my small thing at the end of the month and dem no kidnap me - No long thing.. I went to complete my in-processing a few weeks ago. Over serious naijaboy like me go organize better trouser and korrect shirt, come tuck-in with my glasses and fresh hair cut. Mehn.. Me sef trip na, as I look myself for mirror o.. Note to self – Next time take a photograph for posterity’s sake!

114 days in...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 05:19:56 +0000

This year I decided I would only have seven focus areas - from which twelve things for 2012 were derived. Interestingly, whilst there has been progress in some areas, quite a few other areas have been the equivalent of a Lagos traffic jam for progress. 114 days in, here’s my review.

Develop a daily practice of prayer and meditation: This has come along in fits and starts. there definitely has been some progress, but nothing sustained so far. I’d rate myself as ‘poor’ here.
Lose 20 kg: An epic fail here. I suspect I may have actually gained half a kilogram!
Read and review 25 books: Currently on book number four. No real reviews have been completed so far. I’ll need to decide a format and start progressing these ASAP.
Call Parents and siblings at least once a week: I’ve made some progress on here with phone calls, but again not on the level of consistency that I’d be hoping for.
Save £1,000 each month: One of the areas where I’d say I have performed very well.
Get Chartered Engineer Status: In progress, I hope to send in my initial applications this May and kick start the process of getting C.Eng registration through the IMarEST.
Get a Driver’s Licence: A couple of false starts here. The intent is to get the CEng application done and dusted and then focus on studying for the theory test and passing it in May 2012.
Resolve long term settlement options: Canada featured heavily in the plan for a while, but at the moment it’s looking like the UK is the base plan. The intent is to sort out the CEng status and then take it from there.
Resolve my dating issues: Not quite progress here. Met Q who ticks a lot of the boxes (geek, recovering bookworm, under 31 yrs of age, Nigerian with the added benefit of real life mutual friends/ connections). The one quirk is she’s very into the Grail Message thing which ended up scuttling my dalliance with EJ from back in the day. I’m not quite sure I can risk lettnig my heart go when there are these issues.
FAN integration/FOL Service: One word, abysmal.
Find a mentor: Some progress, O’s essentially become my non work mentor what with his interest in getting me married and his listening ears, and the three gorgeous kids he’s got. :) On the work front, I’m getting along quite nicely with the QNX* team now - RG seems like a good candidate for a work mentor. Getting him to sponsor my CEng application cxould be the key.
Finding a hobby: New item on the lsit, thanks to pressure from CS & NP at QNX and my buddy Chizz. I’ve signed up for the company touch rugby team - hopefully that pans out nicely.

All in all, there’s been areas of progress and some of none. The top targets for Q2 through end of June are getting the CEng application through, passing the theory test and heading off to Nigeria.

About Town

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 12:39:23 +0000

The monument to the Gordon Highlanders.

Joshua Harris on 'Sanctuary Moments'

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 05:15:44 +0000

Joshua Harris on ‘Sanctuary moments’ (ones where God steps into our lives to impact change in us) from the message ‘Is He Enough? (New Attitude 2004) [ mp3]

… I am not advocating for you that you wait for some sort of mystical experience. I want you to have a sanctuary moment here at new Attitude, but you know what, that’s not going to look like some moment in worship where God just wipes you out, knocks you on the floor, takes away your desire for marriage and sex, and really fills you with a hatred for the opposite sex and you stand up and say I’ve had my sanctuary moment. No…

The Friday Read: Gas is all around...

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 18:55:43 +0000

In the week that saw a cloud of gas leak from Total’s North Sea Elgin-Franklin field, the scramble for gas offshore Mozambique continues apace as Anadarko and Cove announce further finds, adding to the significant plays booked by ENI in 2011. The BBC’s Antonia Quirke ponders the impact exploiting these resources will have on this hitherto pristine corner of the world:

There is a sense on Vamizi of anxious anticipation. Some hope that the Mozambique government will run the project well and money will filter down to the islands which are particularly poor. Many people have feared the worst from the start. An islander tells me that when they heard that gas had been found to both the north and south, they watched all night as the illuminated exploration vessels searched and searched ever closer to their shores.

Thankful Thursdays

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:41:38 +0000

Better late than never, thankfulness was supposed to be one of my 12 focus areas for 2012. Here goes in any case:

New starts, new beginnings and the christening of god daughter number 3
Both bosses concurrently on holiday - doesn’t happen all the time, useful to have a few days where I’m free to set my own agenda
Progress at work - leak in the plant which turned out well given I was on top of the issues right from the get go
Reconnecting with old friends - the beauty of having an oddly spelled surname is it’s instantly recognisable.
Friends who care - who take my singleness as a significant enough concern to try to hook me up

False dawns, god daughter shenanigans and an unexpected meetup

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 18:18:53 +0000

The mini heat wave that was, threatened to leave nerves frayed and tempers flared all week in Room 3.26 before - like a duplicitous conman - it vanished as abruptly as it had arrived. It just so happened that the air conditioning - perhaps suddenly burdened by the heat load and the multiplied tinkering of the occupants of the various offices in our section - huffed and puffed to an untimely death; leaving us in varying degrees of grumpiness. I had taken half the Friday off, looking to spend the afternoon strolling leisurely up and down Union Street, binging on the copious amounts of skin that had suddenly appeared, coaxed out by the warmth from beneath the bland greys and austere blacks that had been the standard fare for the last few months. The flirty weather had other plans though, and Friday morning arrived with a chill in its wake putting the dampers on any thoughts of prancing about town. I promptly cancelled my holiday, resigning myself to a full day of number crunching and copious amounts of milky, weak tea. So much for an early return to warm, sunny days!

On Pentecostalism...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:22:06 +0000

Some of my more memorable passages in Binyavanga Wainana’s witty, somewhat self deprecating if irreverent memoir, One Day I Will Write About This Place relate to his early contact with Pentecostalism whilst growing up in Kenya. In one of those he describes his mother’s desire one Sunday morning to attend a church and how they end up in one that is unmistakable Pentecostal:

The heat and light are blinding and people are jumping up and down and singing what sounds to me like voices from an accordion. It smells of sweat and goats. We sit. All hot and in Sunday sweaters and collars and vaseline under the hot iron roof, and people spit and start and this is because we are frying, not because God is here.

First dance...

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 16:54:19 +0000

To God be the Glory.. :)

The Dating Wrap

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 10:06:17 +0000

Ninety one days into the new year, I do not appear to have made any significant progress on the one thing on my 2012 to do list which my mother is most interested in - finding myself a potential wife. Following on a review from late last year, I decided a multi-pronged approach would work best - fusing online dating with physical meet ups and the occasional introduction from mutual friends. Arguably, there have been opportunities with potential, even though the bulk of them have not been. In any case here goes the journey so far:

Conversations

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:05:46 +0000

My lazy Saturday - the slightly chillier air put paid to any pretensions of activity I had planned for the day - ended being defined by three conversations. In all honesty, two were conversations I could have done without, but I ended up caught up in them anyways.

I wake up to see an offline message from my Q, my friend of just under a week. She’s a Geek’s Geek complete with geeky glasses and loads of tech speech. We end up talking about everything and nothing for the better part of three hours. In a sense it feels like de ja vu all over again - the easy conversation, shared interests and comfort even in silence were hallmarks of the early days of my bonding with EJ. Probably still early days, but there does seem to be a real opportunity for something to develop here.

The Friday Read: The True Cost of Parenting

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:46:09 +0000

Joshua Gans on The True Cost of Parenting, and why $180,000 may not necessarily be as outlandish as it sounds especially when the opportunity cost of stay at home parenting is factored in:

Parents know their children, have their interests at heart, are on call all the time and mean you don’t have to worry about child care. This is precisely the utilitarian services that the high priced nannies are being valued for. Once you include stay-at-home parents, you’ll find that we are all paying much more for nannies than we think.

The Friday Read: Are Emotions Prophetic?

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 13:00:17 +0000

Are emotions prophetic? The short answer is No, but Jonah Lehrer at The Frontal Cortex offers a good summary of the long answer [pdf]:

Every feeling is like a summary of data, a quick encapsulation of all the information processing that we don’t have access to. (As Pham puts it, emotions are like a “privileged window” into the subterranean mind.) When it comes to making predictions about complex events, this extra information is often essential. It represents the difference between an informed guess and random chance.

About Town: Journeying to the Middle of Nowhere

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:31:45 +0000

I get the call late – sometime between 5.00 and 5.30pm on Monday evening - as I drag my bone weary self homeward, plowing a lone furrow down Guild and up Union through the masses of people heading home in the opposite direction. A sudden change of plans on The Project has thrown the curveball that is being the designated short term relief in my direction, and being the young, unmarried bloke on the team I get first dibs at the possibility of catching a 9.30 am flight the next morning. With the prospect of performance reviews due in a mere two weeks, I’m not exactly keen to refuse an opportunity to demonstrate my ability to ‘handle changing priorities’, so I shrug inwardly, accept my lot and grumble all the way home.

The Friday Read: Mixed Matches

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 18:17:03 +0000

A few days late but an interesting read nonetheless. Denise Morris explores inter-racial dating and marriage from a biblical worldview over at Boundless.org. Parts One, Two and Three explore her experiences in growing up as a child from a mixed marriage, the pseudo-biblical objections people may have and offers a useful summation:

Will choosing to date someone outside of your race make your life more difficult? Hopefully not, but it could. If it does, remember that the father of lies still has a grip on humanity. He will until the day Christ returns to put him in his place. Are the potential difficulties of an interracial relationship worth it? Of course they are if it’s the person God has prepared for you. Most importantly, all of us are precious in his sight — red, yellow, black and white — and every shade in between.

That NYSC Year...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 13:00:52 +0000

My short Saturday morning sleep (I’d stayed awake till 4.30 am) was shattered by the insistent buzz of my cellphone at a little over 9.00am, and with it came summons to meet up with a bloke I met at NYSC camp and his wife. After braving howling winds and nearly passing out on my feet with the sheer amount of shops we went through, we got to share my peri-peri chicken addiction, and chat. True to form our conversation segued into the murky waters that are Nigeria and its various issues. Thankfully, reminiscing over the highlights of our service year provided a spot of cheer.

Lessons Learned: On (online) dating

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:55:40 +0000

My little experiment in online dating comes to an end over the next few weeks, thanks to expiring subscriptions. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that online dating may not be for me.

If my experience is typical, it would appear the Nigerian man trying online dating has three strikes against him. First is the perception in the wider world of Nigerians as being inherently scam artists. A bevy of websites has sprung up whose MO appears solely to be defining tactics and strategies for identifying Nigerian scam artists and outing them. The three or so women on eHarmony who I made it past guided communication into emailing with suddenly became reticent when I declared I was Nigerian. From a couple of emails a day, things segued into an email a couple of days and then them leaving my emails un-replied.

The Friday Read: Self and The City

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:01:15 +0000

From Project Syndicate:

Urbanization is blamed for a wide variety of modern social ills, ranging from crime and incivility to alienation and anomie. But, by infusing us with their unique spirit and identity, our cities may, in fact, help to empower humanity to face the most difficult challenges of the twenty-first century.

What ‘unique spirit and identity’ might Lagos infuse us with?

She had Me at 'Duh'

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 07:22:32 +0000

Source

To the woman in the green dress: Oklahoma City, December 24th…

She had me between ‘duh’ - and the nonchalant, sultry blur of her unruly hair; and the pouty, smouldering incandescence of her blood red lips; shimmering life-like in the dull, barely there blues and reds and flickering purples of the BeeJay’s mirror ball.

We were like two large - lumps of rock; boulders locked in the unwilling, eternal waltz of gravity; stuck in distant orbits around the crowded dance floor like as around a stranded, listless star. In the interludes between the mindless drone of the DJ’s songs, and the rude, insistent scratch of his beatbox our eyes weave and bob, like corks floating in a sea of ice cold beer.

The Sunday Song: When You Believe - Whitney Houston ft Mariah Carey

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 13:57:45 +0000

From the Prince of Egypt soundtrack:

Over-thinking...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 08:51:39 +0000

Not quite my state of mind, but this will do:

via xkcd.

The alt text (to stave off miss.fab’s wrath):

The worst resolution to the Valentine Prisoner’s dilemma, when YOU decide not to give your partner a present but your PARTNER decides to testify against you in the armed robbery case

Feening for summer...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:14:15 +0000

On a whim, I decide to wear a yellow shirt to work. There are no dress codes out here, but light greys, shiny whites and spartan blues are the most likely colours that peek out from beneath the heavy, grey jumpers that are de rigueur around these parts. It is a relatively mild seven degrees, less the wind chill and I feel sufficiently warm enough to ditch my heavy overcoat in favour of a lighter jacket.

The Sunday Song: I Won't Go Back - William McDowell

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 08:41:34 +0000

Audio only:

The Friday Read: The Case for Clawbacks

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Michael Schrage mulls over the ‘de-knighting’ of Fred Goodwin - the former RBS CEO who presided over its meteoric rise from a relatively small Scottish bank to at one stage the largest bank in the world - and argues the case for better designed incentive systems that reward decisions which are inherently sustainable rather than geared towards risky short term profit:

…institutionalized imbalances in compensation encourage too many people to “game the system.” Traders are notorious for developing schemes that sync with how their compensation and bonuses will be paid out. Their defenders argue that consistent losers will, of course, get fired — so what’s the long-term point of clawbacks? But that ignores the (obvious) behavioral reality that traders who know that their greatest risk is losing their job — instead of their money — might be prone to making even larger bets to win comparably larger bonuses. The upside potential overwhelms the downside exposure. That’s a proven recipe for disaster.

Awkward conversations, proxy wars and the end of an era

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:10:05 +0000

In that productivity black hole that is the half hour before lunch - where the energy and the gusto from an early start have been steadily eroded by the mundanity of work and the insistent prattle of phone calls, emails and the odd buzz-word infested meeting - I stroll for the umpteenth time into the restroom, almost colliding with a man who is fiddling with the zipper on his fly. I least expect to find someone just inside the door, even though this time of the day is one where the restroom shuffle, coffee room trips and huddles of two and three in the hallway are time honoured strategies for the keen time waster.

CCM Sunday: Mender of Broken Hearts - Fred Hammond

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:12:02 +0000

The very first Fred Hammond single, I think… Memories.

The Friday Read #2: The Paradox of Options

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 15:57:33 +0000

Jonah Lehrer (The Frontal Cortex) reviews a paper by Bahns, Pickett and Crandall on the relationship between social ecology (the make up of a community and its characteristics) and how people initiate and maintain relationships. They surmise that a bigger pool only makes us more picky, and keener to gravitate to people similar to us (the so called Similarity-Attraction effect).

The cliff notes version?

When opportunity abounds, people are free to pursue more narrow selection criteria, but when fewer choices are available, they must find satisfaction using broader criteria.

Forgotten milestones, unexpected positives and 2012 reading

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 22:36:08 +0000

Amidst the bedlam that was a return to work after almost three weeks away, I completely forgot the small matter of having passed the second-year anniversary of my starting at my current job. The lads at HR though were not exactly keen to let me forget ; and I was suitably reminded via a letter in my home post box advising me of my eligibility to enrol on the company enhanced pension plan. Bar a few moments of drudgery, it has never really felt like I have been stuck out here for the past two years, even though I’ve twice come close to leaving; once to Nigeria, and the other time to our biggest competitor across town.

CCM Sunday #2: Blessings - Laura Story

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 11:42:07 +0000

More here.

Reluctant conversations...

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 18:40:16 +0000

The flight into London was uneventful, the only thing breaking my ear-phones-plugged-in-music-playing routine being an exceptionally friendly gentleman and his wife who I had the misfortune of sitting next to, on one of three adjoining seats. After tossing my knapsack into the overhead locker, I motion for them to make some space for me. He smiles, far too easily and obliges me, as I slither into the seat, somehow managing to do it without entangling my ear phone wires on the various odds and ends he has left on the seat. He is dressed simply; a North Face jacket from which a bland, grey shirt peeks through a half done zipper. I can’t help but notice that the woman on the other hand is much better dressed, the highlight being an eye catching, flowery, brown dress that stops well shy of her knees as she sits, and a full mane of blonde hair. I settle in, toss a mirthless, slit lip grin in their direction and proceed to detangle my ear phone wires.

CCM Sunday: Save a Place For Me - Matthew West

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 11:32:20 +0000

More on the truly touching backstory on his blog here.

The Friday Read #1: How Will You Measure Your Life?

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:18:11 +0000

Clayton M. Christensen over at the Harvard Business Review muses on life, purpose and defining the right long term metric for measuring success:

I’ve concluded that the metric by which God will assess my life isn’t dollars but the individual people whose lives I’ve touched. Don’t worry about the level of individual prominence you have achieved; worry about the individuals you have helped become better people. This is my final recommendation: Think about the metric by which your life will be judged, and make a resolution to live every day so that in the end, your life will be judged a success.

2012 in Twelve Things

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 00:55:14 +0000

In what is going to be a first for me, I will cross over into the new year aboard an airplane, albeit one headed homeward. It certainly is a far cry from how 2011 started, but perhaps this unconventional start will afford me the chance to pause and ponder a few days early, and agree on 12 things for 2012 all aligned with my seven priorities for life. Here goes:

Develop a daily practice of meditation, prayer and journaling: Taking time out to examine life, capture things as they happen and improve daily has to be a key component of my daily routine going forward. The seven priorities are great on paper, but unless progress on the continuum towards achieving them is measured and recorded, I suspect the end of the year will come, and I will still be where I am as of today, stuck in a rut. Target: 4 of 5 days a week of reading the identified text in the Our Daily Bread app.
Lose 20kg: I am overweight – no amount of faffing around can gloss over that simple fact. I tried for a month, before slipping back into my my routine of Nandos, large potions and baguettes at work. Losing weight has to be a focus in 2012, the target is to lose 20kg for a return to c. 80kg weight and a healthy BMI. Target: Walk to and from work daily, take 2 days in the week to eat only fruits (seedless grapes, bananas and apples only), stay off coffee, eat half of what I would normally eat.
Read (and review) 25 books in 2012.
Call parents and siblings once a week: Quick phone call to Dad/Mum every two weeks; hopefully I can catch the siblings weekly for a quick chat.
Save £1,000 a month: The YE spend data for 2011 was abysmal. For a net (ex. taxes) increase in pay of c. 600 pounds, I ended up doubling my expenditure versus 2010. Some of it was unavoidable – the house move in late 2010, increased bills and rents hit for the full year 2011 versus the one quarter in 2010, but large swathes of cash remained unaccounted for. The plan is to move 1,000 each month from my net pay prior to any expenses coming through, as well as refuse to get involved in providing soft loans to the lads.
Get chartered engineer status: I didn’t make a lot of progress professionally in 2011. There were no conferences attended or certifications gained. This is a focus area for 2012 – I am looking to get at least one of either the C.Eng designation or complete my NACE certifications before YE 2012.
Get a driver’s license: I have had a provisional drivers license for over a year already. The focus in 2012 will be to use the 1st quarter to write and pass the theory test, and the summer months to practice for and pass the practical test for a full drivers’ license. Given my traumatic car crash from 2008, and the fact that I haven ‘t driven since then, I suspect this will not be a trivial pursuit.
Resolve long term settlement options: 2012 will be crucial for me as I decide where I will lay down my long term routes. TheBZ would be a good place, but the increasingly louder anti-immigrant rhetoric is a niggling issue at the bottom of my mind. Canada seems to be a longer term option – one that I will explore to a greater extent in 2012.
Resolve my dating and meeting issues: I am at a stage where I can truly say that I have let got of my EJ issues. Having said that there remain pockets of memories I need to ditch finally. The target through 2012 is to bring myself to the place where I can truly say I have forgotten and moved on, a position where I am free in my head to meet and date again. 2012 in this regards has to be the year of de-cluttering.
Complete FAN integration: Given my constant moaning about how mind numbingly boring the little city I live in is, that I am not taking advantage of what opportunities there are to meet people is a shame. Through 2012, the intention is to reconnect with the Youth and Singles group at church once a month.
Re-engage with FOL service: My service in the group I work with in church was shocking in 2011. Granted, part of it was a busier, less controlled work load, but my worldview issues also contributed in no small measure. The plan in 2012 is to reconnect and reengage with the group, and be useful once again.
Find a mentor: I’m looking to get more intentionality in life, a mentor would definitely help for the accountability bits here.

About Town: Westward...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:48:06 +0000

On the morning of the day I am due to fly westward, I wake up late - late being a few minutes before 9.00 am - on a day on which I have an 11.35 am flight to catch with neither a packed bag nor sorted transport for comfort. When I finally pull myself out of my bed, I call a cab for 9.30 am, and beginning tossing clothes, books and my laptop into the grab bag I use for these quick across-the-pond jaunts.

2011 - The Cliff Notes Version

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:26:59 +0000

If I had to drill it down:

Shitty in large bits, quotidian for the most part, a few big decisions taken, family milestones and ending the year realizing there’s a lot to be thankful for…..

But that’s life after all isn’t it… Happy new Year peeps…

Memories of Christmas

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 16:05:24 +0000

My earliest memories of Christmas - and ultimately of growing up - are inextricably connected to the sounds of roosting chickens, the anticipation of a hearty Christmas afternoon meal and the Chapel’s annual Christmas carol night. We were by no means very well off. Those were the dark days bookended by SAP and its attendant devaluation of the Naira and the Abacha dictatorship in which people in the Academia essentially lived hand to mouth. What was an already thinly stretched wage was steadily eroded until my proud, well read father resorted to farming yams and cassava in the space behind his house to augment his wage. The main garnishing to the routine fare we got served as soups and stews was beef bought in abundance from the local butchery, and fish.

Kicking off the Christmas silly season, breaking my beer duck and the 2011 wrap

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 10:02:00 +0000

Mid December usually kicks off the Christmas party silly season out here. Given that as far back as October, our coffee room conversations had started to take on a decidedly Christmas-sy bent, it was no surprise that the first event of the season came early this year – a team lunch at the Soul bar on Union Street in November no less. Thanks to the atrocious weather I ended up marooned offshore, restricted to taking to Facebook to moan about missing the free food and a half day off work.

Winter's first salvo, waiting for Ally and a curious case of begging..

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:59:12 +0000

[gallery]

The much threatened snow storm finally hit, and when it did it was an anti-climax of sorts. Rather than the promised chaos and long tail backs, there were only mild disruptions at most. I suspect the winter has a lot more sting in its tail, but its first salvo has been under-whelming at worst. Given the town’s penchant for gory, frightful winters, I’ll take under-whelming any time.

One evening, I am standing just inside the doors at Union Square – earphones plugged in with The Script on repeat, hands in my coat pockets and looking out - as the maelstrom of humanity just belched out by the 18:17 train from Dyce sweeps by. I am usually at home by this time - heaters fired up, warm drink in hand, catching up on re-runs of NCIS - but I am out today waiting to pick up a friend whose train should have arrived a few minutes earlier. He and I haven’t met up in at least three years - I suspect it’s probably more - even though we have kept in touch via email and the odd phone call here and there. He has been holidaying, taking in the sights of Europe and gate crashing one party too many whilst checking yet more places off his places-to-see-before-I-die list. A chance conversation a couple of weeks before helped make up his mind to toss in a sleep over at mine – the final pit stop before the train that is his holiday hurtles on to Nigeria and a return to the drudgery of work. A quick glance at the arrivals board at the station alerts me to the unfortunate fact that his train has been delayed by a further fifteen minutes.

Before dying catches us...

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 09:05:25 +0000

Before dying catches us and the banal, quotidian joys of a simpe life expire at the hoot of Charon’s ferry from across the styx, and the memory of the faces, and the names of the ones we once held dear fade away, lost in the eternal blackness of demise; before the grim reaper suprises us with the rude, ineclutable finality of death; we must not forget

Rejigging the list

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:55:48 +0000

One of the unintended consequences of taking my mate search more seriously has been taking time out to define what the absolute must-haves in the woman I date and eventually marry are. Given the changes that have happened in my life, I am hoping the list is more realistic, and more real-worldly… So here goes.

A Nigerian: Ideally the mate would be Nigerian. If you listened to my mother she would have to be Edo, Delta or Yoruba. I like to imagine I am more egalitarian and would be open to dating outside those very narrow confines. When push comes to shove, even though a Nigerian mate is preferred, I suspect I may be open to dating from other nationalities.
Be on a similar time-line with me: Ideally, I would like to get hitched by YE 2012 (if I remain in the UK), or in 2013 (if I go down the Welding and Materials Engineering PhD route). Granted, it is impossible to legislate for oneself, much less others, but ideally, the mate I pursue should be looking to get married on a similar time-line.
Between 27 and 31 by YE 2013: Research indicates that the ideal age gap between spouses is 5 years. Given I will be 34 by YE 2013, the potential mate would need to be 29 at the time. Rather than apply this mechanistically, I reckon a band of +/-2 years around the mean is a good compromise. Additionally, I do find from talking to my female friends that age 25 appears to be the age when women tend to get serious. Before then, they usually are looking to get a boyfriend for hanging out interminably with. At the age I am, I’m looking for a bit more intentionality which is why I think my future mate would be in this age bracket.
Have a healthy acceptance of the importance of family: The kid brother and I are really close, a legacy of years spent sharing a room, and being co-conspirators against the totalitarian regime of the parents. Same goes for my kid sister who virtually still worships me. :) Any potential mates will ideally recognize that family is important and be willing to make changes to accommodate them, ultimately prioritizing US over other connections though.
A more outgoing personality: The one accusation I am unable to refute is that I am somewhat picky when it comes to selecting friends. In general, I tend to be the one behind the scenes, observing and analyzing rather than being the life of the party. My ideal partner would be someone who is more outgoing than I am to offset my natural inclination to be reserved.
Possess sufficient ‘General Intelligence’ to converse well: A number of topics engage my energies and passions - football, public policy, some politics and social justice issues in general. The ideal mate would be someone who is able to appreciate these things and more, and is able to engage in an intellectual discussion, being able to coherently engage a variety of topics. An appreciation for the arts – the lyrical flow of Yusef Komunyakaa, the exquisite prose of Soyinka, the mellifluous tunes of Coltrane amongst others - would definitely be a plus.
Focused and driven to succeed: The ideal mate would have a fully developed life with drives and passions that I can contribute to. Marriage to me should be a symbiotic partnership, where both parties far exceed their individual abilities thanks to the influence of the other. As I have aged, I have transited from believing that a bloke is the alpha-and-omega to a model of shared growth.
Has developed a coherent worldview that is essentially Judeo-Christian: Whilst I joke about being in a state of relapsed faith, my worldview is still essentially Christian, and one of my seven priorities for 2012 is sorting out that dissonance.The ideal mate would have a similar worldview, even if it is not lived out in a rabidly spiritual way and have a heart for God and people.
Same sense of long term direction: Social justice, engaging younger people and being useful in the context of local community are big issues for me. The ideal mate would recognise this and buy into them, or at least appreciate them, if not actively participating.

In summary then, the ideal mate would be between 26 and 29 now, be between 4-11’ and 5-8’ tall, broadly subscribe to Christian values and ethics, and be looking for a serious relationship at the time..

Seven Priorities for Life

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:37:05 +0000

I spent the weekend going through Michael Hyatt’s cute little e-book Creating Your Personal Life Plan. In no particular order, below are the things I feel need to be priorities going forward:

God: World-view, faith, God and how these interact in defining a moral compass for me is a crucial part of my developing fully into the sort of bloke I need to become. It is time for me to start engaging my various proclivities which are preventing me from gaining the clarity of thought and direction that I need.
Health: Whilst I have not had any major health scares, truth is I am overweight by some. A few years ago, I had blood pressures that were way out of the ‘safe’ and ’normal’ zone [Thankfully, I passed my last offshore medical in flying colours]. Keeping fit, counting calories and staying health has to be one of my priorities going forward.
Family: Whilst I remain single at the moment, deep in my heart is a longing to meet someone, find love and raise a family together. Two dimensions stand out here - finding the one and being the sort of bloke she’d want to be with. These both have to be priorities going forward - engaging the ‘knowledgable others’ in my circle and being open enough to solicit, accept and implement honest feedback where it is offered on areas where personal improvement is required.
Personal Development: Learning continuously, and always reviewing where I am versus where I should be has to be a key component of my life. Big things are expected of me, and getting those done depends on continuously improving and finding the over arching knowledge and foresight required to grow into those big roles. This will have two facets: Career, in which I develop into a globally recognised Corrosion/Materials/Integrity Engineer, and personally where I progress and develop my public speaking, and writing skills.
Friends: Given the large number of acquaintances I have, the few real friends I have (and I would count O & I as the two stand out ones at the moment) who time and time again have proven they are worth their weight in gold, and more, deserve some reciprocal attention. They are going to have to be priorities going forward - they’ve earned it!
Finances: Finances are a key part of fulfilling the responsibilities that I will have as a Father, Husband, Son and social justice campaigner. Learning how to manage and grow my money is a critical part of the me I will become.
Service: One more priority is taking all the gifts and blessings that I have been given and pouring them all out in service to others. The details of this are not exactly clear at the moment - especially considering the significant evolution my world view is going through at the moment - but finding the time and the place to make a difference for others ’less blessed’ as to be a priority going forward.

Shihan on Def Poetry

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 15:48:11 +0000

My interest in Def Poetry in the past has been limited to Bassey Ikpi. Thanks to a friend, I got forwarded a link to this video by Shihan.. My def poetry love just went up a notch… Found the full text here. Enjoy.

A Question of Happiness

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 20:26:00 +0000

Between bites of peri-peri chicken and sips of Coke Zero, my friend Des asked me if I was happy. She - amongst all my long term friends - complains the least about my propensity to wall them off from the reality that is in my head, but from time to time she insists we meet to ‘catch up’. These meetings haven’t happened a lot recently - thanks to her juggling a return to full time employment with an energetic three year old, and travelling. Skipping merrily through town, as she is wont to these days, she asked if I was up for a bite and a drink, which I accepted. We ordered the usual - a platter to share, bottomless drinks and sides of rice and settled in to talk about the minutiae of life, and all the quotidian pleasures we have enjoyed in the year so far. Then - out of the blue - she asked if I was happy. I suspect I managed to side track her question by rolling out my usual spiel about life being what it was - normal and mundane without anything out of the ordinary.

On women (Or a somewhat concise history of the women I have worked with)

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 10:39:31 +0000

Note: If a few of the following characterizations seem stereotyped and larger than life, they probably are. Others more intelligent than I have chalked it up to Time, and how it conflates memory and reflection into a blended - often distorted - whole.

Given the marked paucity of females in my sector of the industry, I was amazed a few days ago by just how many women have left their marks – both in positive and negative ways - on my career till date. I am coming up to what would have been the eighth anniversary of my resuming at my first job - if I had not packed my bags one November morning, deciding I had had enough. In the main, I find that five women stand out from that phase of my life:

The weekend of debauchery (that wasn't)

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 11:13:45 +0000

It was supposed to be the weekend that banished my 2011 troubles from memory and got me to let my hair down - something I admittedly do not do often enough. There was the small matter of needing to send in my passport to Mama Charlie’s lackeys for an extension to my residence permit, as well as navigating a week of water survival training (given my well documented aversion for large water bodies).

The Sunday Song: With Everything - Hillsong

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 04:41:06 +0000

Days like these make me miss NCLC more and more… Sigh…

#16 - The Sense of an Ending

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 11:18:37 +0000

I finally completed Julian Barnes’ 2011 Man Booker Prize winning book - The Sense of an Ending. Considering I felt both previous Booker Prize winners I read earlier in the year - The Finkler Question and Midnight’s Children were not easy reads, I was pleasantly surprised to find I liked this one. In addition to it being ‘readable’ [and that was the subject of a furore which threatened to engulf this year’s awards] I suspect I liked it because it explored the conflation of memory and reflection, a genre of books I’ve been drawn to since I read Teju Cole’s Open City.

Falling for my Dalglish Conjecture

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:00:46 +0000

The one thing laying the ghosts of the EJ debacle to rest did was to finally free me up mentally to move on after what had been a horrendous six months of torture. On here as in real life, I was beginning to sound like a broken record with my endless whining and musing about what was a lost cause from day zero. In looking to go forward, I made the basic error of falling for the Dalglish conjecture. [The Dalglish conjecture is the fancy way I describe one party in a good friend situation suddenly developing romantic feelings and hoping they will be reciprocated, almost as a rebound.]

Deconstructing the Dalglish Conjecture

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:19:24 +0000

The following was instigated by a discussion on Twitter with @ Sir Fariku on the case for football as a compelling metaphor for a bloke’s dating life and the Brothers With No Game series on Which Footballer Are You?

In the 1997 movie ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ directed by P.J. Hogan, Julianne Potter (played by Julia Roberts) finds herself facing a conundrum of sorts. Her long term friend, Michael O’Neil (played by Dermot Mulroney) informs her a few days short of her own 28th birthday of his impending marriage to Kimberly (played by Cameron Diaz). This should be great news, except for the small matter of a pact between Julianne and Michael where they had agreed that if they remained single till they turned 28, they would get married to each other. She also believes (rightly or wrongly) that Kimberly is the wrong person for him to get married to.

The Sunday Song: Waiting for Tomorrow - Mandissa

Sun, 13 Nov 2011 10:07:52 +0000

For memories which refuse to lie down and die…. But for which we cannot hold on for forever.

[…] I don’t want to look back and wonder If good enough could have been better Every day’s a day that’s borrowed So why am I waiting for tomorrow […]

How He Met My Mother

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 11:11:17 +0000

One Sunday in December of ‘76 as the dry, dusty harmattan winds dumped a fine layer of dust on a sleepy village, two best friends who had not seen each other for the better part of three years were meeting up under the shade of a kola nut tree, squarely placed in the centre of the court yard of the unpainted cement building that housed one of the ruling families in a little village nestled underneath the overhanging rocks of the Somorika mountains.

Weighing up the options

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 19:30:54 +0000

The National Marriage Project’s Ten Things about Marriage Young Adults should know says that an introduction by family or acquaintances made up sixty percent of the marriages in their 2004 sample. I suspect the data might be dated – an eHarmony staff [on quora] points to a report they commissioned from Harris Interactive that claims that for 2008-09, 14% of marriages came from connections initiated online.

It does seem to me that having a two pronged approach – being open to introductions from friends and acquaintances, and getting online – should improve a bloke’s chances of meeting The One (if she actually exists, that is). As a result, I have bitten the bullet and signed up for an account at eHarmony, complete with a six month subscription. Given the audacious claims made in the various ads, the scientific lean of the matching system and frankly, the paucity of options, going down this route seemed a no-brainer to me.

The evening before...

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:03:07 +0000

The evening before the morning I am due to fly, I stay awake till the wee hours of the morning tossing and turning on my bed. There is the reality of the unfinished business between TheB and I that needs sorting out one way or the other; and that thought, scary as it is, leaves my mind accelerating into overdrive. These could potentially be game changing events I am about to unleash, if I grow the balls to go through with it. History suggests that it will be yet another dumb squib.. One way or the other, there has to be some clarity I reckon

The Sunday Song: What A Heart is Beating For - Chris Rice

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:15:25 +0000

Pity the blog’s no longer updated…

Unfinished business

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 18:56:11 +0000

In a few days time, I shall pack my bags and head across the Atlantic one more time. The driver is some unfinished business from 2009. There was the small matter of a conundrum which developed in April of 2009. The ladies in question were F and my ’nearly girls’TheB and S.

Over the course of that year F and I would finally put ourselves out of the misery of our forced dalliance, for good. ‘S would turn to me as a husband finder, and TheB and I would drift apart for no real reason.

Not Yet A Fairy Tale

Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:16:45 +0000

When the clock chimed in the New Year, I was cuddled up next to the girlfriend at the time. I had my feet on a foot stool, was sat in a couch in front of the television and was cradling her head as it lay on my chest, whilst we mused about the new year, and all the wonderful, beautiful things we hoped it would bring us. I had flown nearly 5000 miles to make this moment, and in the heat of the moment, life couldn’t have felt better. There was me, the one woman in the world I loved, and a bright and shining future ahead of us. If ever there was a fairy tale moment in my life, that was it.

Arthur Ashe on God and religion

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 09:18:22 +0000

Arthur Ashe’s moving memoir ‘Days of Grace’ ends with a heartfelt letter to his (then) six year old daughter Camera in which he unpacks all the things he suspects his illness will deny him the opportunity of telling her in future. Covering a range of categories from the importance of family, racial discrimination, loss, marriage, money and even faith, it reads like a distillation of many years of living and learning. The section where he talks about faith and religion reads like a primer for a balanced, liberal, yet essentially Judeo-Christian worldview. Excerpts below:

The Sunday Song: Just Another Mountain (Jamie Slocum)

Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:00:59 +0000

Lyrics here

Full circle (the anatomy of a heart break)

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:15:00 +0000

They say there are five stages of grief… First there is denial. Everything slows down to an almost imperceptible crawl, leaving you with the numbness of disbelief and a full blown Fariku Singularity. You replay that final scene in your head again and again until it is etched in your mind like an indelible tattoo. You deconstruct the words hoping to find an iota of comfort; and when the lads ask you about her, you pretend the phone lines garbled that bit of speech, or mutter various incomprehensible answers.

Everything (via xkcd)

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:24:52 +0000

How sad is it that I can totally relate with this sentiment?

via xkcd

On Reality

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 02:52:46 +0000

Reality is a question of perspective; the further you get from the past, the more concrete and plausible it seems..

…so said Salman Rushdie. The corollary is that memory is deceptive, and nostalgia can skew our recollection of things so much that it becomes an alternate reality far removed from the cold, hard facts as they occurred.

Sometimes clarity hits you suddenly like a blow to the solar plexus, at other times the bleeding obvious slowly becomes apparent. All told, some day a bloke has to decide – what’s important, what’s not, and what to leave to fight another day….

Friday afternoon conversations

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 20:40:41 +0000

Huddled around the lone telephone in Meeting Room Twelve, how we end up talking about the potentially explosive subjects of immigration and living on the dole escapes me, but once the first, tentative blows are struck, it all takes off from there. There is me - very Nigerian, Ahmed – devout Muslim, Pakistani – born, but as English as they come and Steph – part free thinker, part new-ager, also British. We are waiting for the phone call which will initiate a teleconference – one which should have started a full ten minutes earlier.

About Town: Pub signage...

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:02:28 +0000

As seen in the window of a pub on Union Street.. Couldn’t be truer…

The Way We Once Were...

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 11:46:27 +0000

For the beautiful ones who almost were…

We may never ever again be the way we once were.

We may no longer dance the cha-cha and sip palm wine in the shade of the coconut palms as Coltrane serenades and the sea breezes ripple through the flimsy thatch that breaks the fall of the gently falling rain.

We may now never know the blessing of the Old Man’s Libation, or see his scrawny fingers split the kola nut or the unerring aim of the red spittle from his toothless gums

Dear God...

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 20:49:15 +0000

I want the next woman, who comes into my life, and loves me to stay for the long run. To love me, as I love her, to give me butterflies in my stomach and awaken my inner protector….

Surely, not too much to ask? I think I’ve thrown walls up around my heart for too long.. Sigh

The illusion of 'new'

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 03:09:02 +0000

In theory, fresh starts are great: you get a clean slate, a new life, the chance to reinvent yourself and lay the past to rest.

In reality, the break is never clean – past actions have consequences, past events leave signatures that are etched like indelible tattoos on the mind, and on memory, and there will always be connections to people we can’t escape.

Links: 07 Oct 2011

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 18:07:27 +0000

Nigeria turns 51, bloggers go on the charm offensive with 419 reasons to love the country. My moan from 2009 still stands regardless.
The 216th Mersey side derby is ‘ruined by the referee’. The inevitable comments about ‘foreigners’ follow.
More from The Good Men Project - traditional gender roles
Amanda Knox walks free - justice or a travesty?
For better, for worse, until two years doth us part?
In her b(rea)st interest? The $1m dollar insured boobs
Shell complicit in military excesses in the Niger Delta?
What’s in a number? Nothing, says the Good men Project.
How the discipline of blogging is a stepping stone to become a good writer.
Giving women the visibility they deserve?
Steve Jobs passes - TIME’s official obituary.

RIP Steve Jobs...

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 06:06:56 +0000

That iconic 2005 Standford Commencement address again..

What I learned:

Do not be afraid to start again: Apple, NeXT, Pixar and then Apple again?
Keep every decision, and every action in perspective of what’s truly important
Find what you love, love what you do, and excel at it.
Never underestimate the importance of any experience, the dots only appear to line up in hindsight
Do YOU!

Definitely one to file in my ‘Ideas for life’ folder alongside Dennis Prager’s at Pepperdine University and John Legend at The University of Pennsylvania.

Counting down...

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:34:51 +0000

I think it is a little too early, but out here in ruralville the airwaves are already awash with ads for Christmas get aways. At work our coffee room conversations too are taking a decidedly christmas-sy bent: turkey shopping, holiday bookings, grand children, the company christmas ball and fine wine seem to come to the fore a little easier these days. The weather man promised an Indian summer of sorts, but our sun - for all its light - seems to be the evil twin of the one which terrorised us a scant few months ago, all light and no warmth ably aided by the wind which howls through every open space like a spurned suitor.

What I have been reading [Sept]

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 18:43:07 +0000

Slightly better September again - but I have fallen a lot more behind (5 books behind the plan according to the goodreads widget). Most of my reading is currently being done off my kindle which makes it marginally easier to read too. So here goes:

Hell’s Corner - David Baldacci: Bought after stumbling on an ad on TV (the dangers of daytime TV I guess). Interesting read, especially given my long hiatus from reading spy-y books.
Paradise - Toni Morrison: My first Toni Morrison book. Loved the attention to detail - one I intend to re-read.
Another Country - James Baldwin: Bought this off the Kindle store on an impulse. It does seem like I am being drawn to the books I read in my youth all over again…

Links: 30 Sept 2011

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 18:36:42 +0000

Printing a car? Odd that the retards who comment on the Daily Mail jump right to dissing the Indians and Chinese in the comments.
Facebook rejigs, again. Tips and tricks to keep things private
Sex and Hygiene, an info-graphic.
Home grown scam; preying on the desire to jet out of Nigeria by all means.
A saddening tale of domestic violence. Where does all the love go? :(
There’s an app for that. iPhone meets sleep monitoring.
Understanding the Nigerian ‘Middle Class’ - wonder why the earnings limits have been set between NGN75k to 100k - hardly significant earnings I reckon.
Brain reading, quite literarily.
The DTR, a guide via Boundless.
Go out there and make babies. The case for more educated [and progressive] people having more children.

About Town: The Maritime Museum Edition

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 11:03:01 +0000

There is a distinct chill to the air. Surely the weakly warm sun is on its last legs - like a new born mother coaxed out of her bed too early, smiling weakly for the photo opportunity, keen to impress yet tired to her bone - and the prospect of yet another harsh winter is enough incentive for me to take advantage of the sunshine and get up and about.

The Sunday Song: Yet Still I Rise (Yolanda Adams)

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 13:08:05 +0000

Brooke Fraser’s ShadowFeet ended up becoming MY song in 2009, it is looking like Yolanda Adams will have that honour this year.

Closure

Sun, 25 Sep 2011 08:14:44 +0000

In my head all I want is….

To truly forget
To know that I did my best to make it work
To not have to ponder the what-ifs and maybe’s
To truly move on
And start afresh

Sigh…

Links: 23 Sept 2011

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 21:28:36 +0000

Will this father be prosecuted for defending his family against burglars?
Reclaiming the Gentleman - The SBM approach.
Even nature tears down first, before attempting to rebuild. The plus side to the Australian fires.
A dastardly act, and using social media to hunt the bastards down: Sugarbelly’s blog post, an e-Petition and numerous Twitter mentions.
How About We on the types of women to avoid.
Eugene Cho muses on Troy Davis, the death penalty and what is an appropriate Christian response.
An essay on travelling.
Navigating the “You’re a great guy, but…..” talk.
Looking for the perfect dating age gap? Six is it.
The case for doodling.

On F

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 21:12:34 +0000

I have only officially dated two women - although there have been a slew of girls-that-almost-were. EJ and I lasted nine months; the other woman was the one I’ll call F and we lasted just over two years.

I met F at a Christian young peoples’ conference. It was Easter 2006, and on a whim I decided to attend the annual conference hosted by the group I used to attend on Campus. My little brother at the time was fairly well known in those circles, so hanging out with him got me some attention. That was where I saw her. And when their bus needed re-fuelling on the way back, my big fat more-than-I-could-use pay check from XOM came in handy.

The first day

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 21:47:48 +0000

…Of the last year. I suspect that today was my Newcastle moment; the day when my decision to head out to pastures new was taken. The UK is looking increasingly hostile ( I may be reading the comments section of the Daily Mail and the Daily Telegraph too much), but it certainly hasn’t helped that some drunk wanna-be pirate complete with an eye patch called me a f*ucking black bastard in broad day light in Aberdeen. Even conversations at work occasionally centre around immigrants - mainly Poles, but surely its a short hop from Poles to Nigerians.

Intermission: What a Bloke Wants

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 09:36:43 +0000

What a bloke wants:

Great conversation
An appreciation of the arts
A balanced Judeo-Christian worldview…
The same sense of long term direction..

And not having to travel half way around the world to get them….

Surely, not too much to ask for? Or is it?

Sigh…

The nearly girls...

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 00:28:30 +0000

In no particular order

MG: High school mate, Mother figure, best friend through the teenage years, my very own right-girl-wrong-context conundrum, now married with children.
H: High school mate, never really friends until we met up again in University, now married
Elo: High school mate turned high profile Lawyer. I talked her through a particularly difficult heart break in ‘06 after which she plucked up a lot of courage and asked me out. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I didn’t bite, and she ended up running away to New York and the bloke who broke her heart in the first place.
‘Susuuu: Under grad protege who I taught calculus for a year. This was way too complicated to ever work, Now married
TheB: Friend of a friend turned e-friend, turned friend in real life, sadly too many things happened to ‘us’ in 2009, from which we never recovered, still single.
AJ: The kid from Hi5 when it was still the rage, and I had the luxury of free internet at my first Nigerian job. In retrospect she was always going to be way too young, we did end up, and have stayed very fast friends. Still single, but engaged to one of the lads.

On being single...

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 18:48:42 +0000

Rebirth says men are never 100% single, and offers further clarification in a comment:

In my opinion, being single means free from any baggage, no causal dating or stringing along, emotionally available and willing to commit if its the right person…but i find most guys have more than 2 women they are talking to at a time

And I have been thinking. If I met someone (new) today, would I be emotionally available to commit, if it was the right person? Most probably not. Every time a picture of EJ flashes or her name comes up in a conversation, I realize I still haven’t forgotten, still haven’t let go. Am I ’talking’ to any other woman? No. There are the long term friends elC, TheB and ER who ostensibly might be options - but we’ve been stuck so much in the friends zone, I doubt anything can progress from that.

An omen, or not?

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 22:36:08 +0000

I suspect it might be the vestigial memories of night bus journeys from Lagos to Abuja back in the day, but my favourite journeys over the last couple of years have been on trains - spotting a rainbow just outside Edinburgh on the way to a job interview in 2009, returning to the North East of England for a weekend of introspection in 2010 and being surprised by the breath taking beauty of a sun bathed Forth Road Bridge, in November no less! Something about watching the grey granite of built up areas segue into lush greenery, and blue clouds, usually leaves me a little awed.

On tribal stereotypes

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 17:26:44 +0000

Being born on the campus of a Federal University in the ’80s, I grew up in what was a cultural multi-verse. On my street alone, one was as likely to run into a Pakistani anthropologist as a Cameroonian linguist, or a Scottish librarian for that matter. Over the course of growing up, these seemingly distinct cultures all bled into each other, till there was almost a multi-cultural sweet spot at the centre of it all.

Quantity is underrated...

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:58:39 +0000

Conventional wisdom suggests that quality trumps quantity. I imagine it is an MO that ‘makes sense’: identify a few high value targets, focus the scare resource of time and energy on them and (hopefully) maximize the potential reward.

Louisa May Alcott probably spoke for everyone when she had Amy say in ‘Little Women’:

You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one… if he’s the right one

The only snag in that little argument is that this is based on the implicit assumption that one knows in quite precise terms what/who the One is; and that this definition is pretty much static. In real life, I suspect that the who/ what is continuously evolving, such that truly knowing what that entails is an iterative process. One then, must of necessity, date in quantity to gain a better understanding of the ‘market’.

The Sunday Song: In Better Hands (Natalie Grant)

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 23:03:39 +0000

Its hard to see this just now, but I really wish this were true for me right now.. Sigh

Season of re-memory

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 20:28:38 +0000

‘Inspired’ by an old man I spotted sitting on a bench at the corner of George and St John’s Street, soaking up an unexpected blast of sunshine whilst muttering to himself. Image (c) TrekEarth.com; Source: www.trekearth.com

The old man sits cross legged in the rain. He bows his head, and wraps his hands around himself and begins to sway. He sings a song and mouths the words from a sombre lyric that only he still remembers. The tears - tiny rivulets of liquid; crystal clear flow down his face, and down his beard as he rocks to the rhythm of his sombre song. I imagine that he remembers and that the tears are tears of memory, of many yesterdays, of loss, of pain, and of nostalgia. I imagine that when his tears cease to fall, and the rivers on his face dry out he will arise in peace until the season of re-memory

A little piece of autumn, brain drain and chance meetings

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 18:25:59 +0000

It is the end of August, and the new crowd is in town. I imagine the cold, wet and windy autumnal weather can hardly be the sort of welcome anyone from warmer climes could have been expecting, but for those of us north of the border, it is our lot, and moan as we may, it is what we are stuck with.

Union Street is pretty much akin to Port Harcourt’s Aba Road, and every time a fresh batch of people hits town it swells like a river straining at its banks. As I pick my way through the human traffic I spot elements of the new crowd. It is always easy to spot them - either by the fact that they walk in groups of two or three, peering at maps, and chattering loudly in whatever their native tongue is, clearly excited at the new adventure they have set themselves, or by the fact that they are dressed up to the nines, over coat, head warmer, gloves and all, even though it is barely September.

Half-full or half-empty?

Mon, 05 Sep 2011 16:47:41 +0000

Breaking up has its perks - especially when there was the small matter of a six hour difference and 3,000 plus miles. On the plus side, the need to remember birthdays (I sucked majorly at this, which probably added to my being kicked to the kerb), answer phone calls at odd hours of the day and be a pillar of strength to someone finally vanishes, and one is free to pursue other interests. On the flip side, the months of getting to know someone from the ground up are then tossed away, as though all meaning were trivial. Only after a while does the real cost register - long periods that were once filled with sharing the minutiae of life are suddenly filled with solitude; solitude which has the potential to bend one’s mind and numb it into a stupor.

The Sunday Song: Moving forward (Israel Houghton)

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:49:08 +0000

Choreographed by the young lads in church today… Relapsed faith or not, these songs still tug at my heart strings.. Sigh..

From the Album: Power Of One [ Amazon] [ iTunes] [ Lyrics]

Thankful... for blokes who can relate

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 19:52:23 +0000

Between my two year itch arriving a couple of months early and a plethora of little niggling issues, I spent the last month battling a feeling of malaise. My default response has been to internalise it, suck it up and put on a brave face, but during a phone call with my friend A over the weekend I broke down and let it all out.

I wish I could say all the issues were resolved, but truth is they are not.. There is though the relief finally un-loading the tangled issues to someone who understands brings, and the improved clarity that has resulted. For that I am thankful for top blokes who are interested enough to dig beneath the façade, and then to listen…. If only they also had a wand to wave it all away… :(

Questions...

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:46:37 +0000

I have been wondering if people still ‘fall’ in love? Can a guy and a girl meet, develop sparks from the get go and experience a connection like none other? Me the cynic is convinced it is all about doing the sums, weighing the pros and the cons, and deciding what ‘makes sense’ - not some visceral, emotional reaction. I wish I knew though, I really want to be swept off my feet by someone, be blown away by an emotional connection…. Somehow I know that will never be me, I will remain Me, the cynical pragmatist…

Six degrees

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 12:31:24 +0000

Walking into the phone store in the bowels of the big sprawling mall that sits right next to the hell-hole I currently work at, my eyes are drawn to one of the lads at the till. My first impression is that he is Nigerian - what with his thick lips and his quick and easy smile. I am in-store to activate the 6 month’s free internet that should have come with the phone I bought. After much haranguing from my cousin about my being notoriously difficult to catch, I agreed to buy a blackberry - even though I am well aware of the madness being pinged at odd hours can cause.

Loosing our Awe

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 18:03:55 +0000

Children are little adorable things; when they are not cry-y, squirmy little things and are not pooping and peeing all over the place, that is. This weekend, yet another ’lost’ friend stopped over in town with his wife and daughter in tow. The daughter in question has just turned five, and is in that phase of life where her unfettered inquisitiveness is allied to a a precociously quick brain. Whilst her parents and I are engrossed in deep conversation, reminiscing over the lost years since we last hung out, she manages to find my trove of retired gadgets and begins to play around with them. She settles on my Galaxy Tab and pokes around, trying to figure out a way to get it powered up. After several failed attempts she disappears from sight, reappearing at my side away from her father’s glare.

One last punt

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 22:30:23 +0000

I spent the whole week - and some - agonising over the pros and the cons of one last punt, asking EJ if we were done for good. It didn’t help that she took nearly a full day to reply my initial email. Yesterday, I finally worked up the nerve to make the phone call. It still took me six tries, before I allowed the phone ring through.

We talked - whilst she was out shopping with a friend. The one thing that comes out of it all is that at best, we will be acquaintances, the odd phone call every so often, the odd email and simple safe gifts for birthdays if they are remembered. Oddly enough, I never got to ask her for a black and white response as to if we were done for good. She did seem very eager to get me back into the dating business. Guess by default, we are done, and yours truly has to wise up to that and move on, difficult as it might be.. :(

Decisions, again

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 21:37:14 +0000

I turned down another job offer, opting to stay with the safer option (yet again). The first time it was to a competitor in my city, this time it was back to Nigeria, and a return to UX5 where I cut my teeth and learned the bulk of everything I know. There were a number of issues - a few powerful interests stacked up against me courtesy of toes I’d stepped on in the past, and the fact that I’d seen all that and done that before. The key sticking point was that the pay on offer was ridiculous - clearly designed to price me out of accepting (plus rumour has it that on of the lead engineers on the project had a candidate)..

Re-birth

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 01:15:00 +0000

I have died- Seven times but one; Crushed beneath the weight- Of pain’s unrelenting Hammer blows.

Straight right. Left hook. Right uppercut. Left jab. Right hook. Left uppercut. Cheek bones splintered- Lip leaking blood, Teeth- Bludgeoned until loose.

Head spinning. Time, space Distance blending- Into a confused blur. Then over-hand right - And sight mercifully fades- Into blissful blackness.

I have died– Seven times but one; But like a rubber ball Squashed flat against a hard place, I rebound seven times, Reborn.

About Town: The birthday party edition

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:38:29 +0000

Given our propensity to moan about the little corner of the North East where we currently live, it is somewhat strange that I, and the four or so long term friends I have here, do not make time out to meet up more often. In fairness to my friend O, it is not for want of his trying; several attempts to organise a meet up have floundered, torpedoed by our wildly varying schedules and travel plans.

On shi**ing (Or, the criticality of the angle of perch)

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 08:28:42 +0000

Gross post alert

The one thing being suddenly pushed out of my sheltered teenage years into shared hostel accommodation (in a very rugged Nigerian University) taught me, was that squeaky clean loos were a luxury. Growing up, we didn’t live a posh life, but thanks to theOOhj Snr’s day job in the academia, we had decent living quarters - complete with a loo I shared with the kid brother. On pain of a severe caning, Mrs RustGeek (Snr), ensured we kept our little loo clean. Unbeknownst to me, that luxury would be rudely snatched away from me in short order.

Al Mohler on Vocation

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 08:00:36 +0000

A few weeks ago, ‘Jane Doe’ prompted some deep thinking by Single Nigerian, leading him to ponder if trying now and then was enough when others had sacrificed things (even their lives) to ‘get the word to the common man.’

I was listening to an old message by Al Mohler - Being Men and Raising Men [ mp3] - whilst walking to work today, and a section [begins at 51;11] struck me as being a very apt answer to that question.

Calorie Counting

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 19:41:50 +0000

Up until this week, I didn’t know that lumbering along at a fairly respectable 4.5km/hr for 1.3km only burned calories the equivalent of a 34.5g bag of Walkers ready salted potato crisps.

I blame my sister for that. She - all sharp mouthed, 5’-4", verbal terrorist Edo woman that she is - decided that last Saturday was the day to put her foot down and insist that something had to be done about my burgeoning waistline. I couldn’t have guessed our little chat would segue into those matters, if I did I would have invented a network failure and hung up. She, the mistress of subterfuge, began by regaling me with our usual fare - stories about the nieces and cousins, about who was seeing whom and all the other mundanities - before mentioning that she had run into an old schoolmate of mine. Said schoolmate was this huge, built-like-a-wardrobe bully who terrorised us all those many years ago in primary school. We had a nickname for him, puff-puff, only used when he was out of earshot; given because he looked like a hurriedly fried, misshapen ball of puff puff. I hadn’t seen him in years, but by my sister’s account he had morphed from puff-puff into a Fally Ipupa clone.

Crunch Time

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 22:38:27 +0000

Big, potentially career defining, decisions to make..

The safer option - stick with my current job for the next three years and decide what the next steps after that will be: The pros - stay in a truly professional work place where my skills are appreciated, working for a boss whose ar*se I don’t have to kiss, remain in an environment that allows me complete my progression to Chartered Engineer status. The cons - sky high taxes, an increasingly hostile host population, remaining in a section of my field I’ve spent the last six years - and some - working in and a government that seems intent on playing to the gallery on the immigration debate.

Taking charge

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 21:28:45 +0000

My sister, the doctor, says I am morbidly obese. That is as brutal as they come. When I have looked at myself in the mirror, I have rationalised my size by looking at other people, or by blaming the mirror for being too convex. The harsh cold truth though is that I am at my heaviest ever. Whilst I can count to a plethora of reasons why, the fact remains that my current weight is a health risk.

What I have been reading

Sun, 31 Jul 2011 19:41:53 +0000

Thanks to lulls here and there - as opposed to the fast pace at which April, May and June went by - I managed to do a bit of reading:

Salman Rushdie’s - Midnight’s Children (1981 Booker Prize winner, 1993 Booker of Bookers Winner & 2008 The Best of the Booker Winner): I read this one mainly on the go, off a hand held device which probably affected my enjoyment of the book. I did think it was a laborious read at times. It might be a thing I have for Booker winners, as I didn’t exactly enjoy my reading of The Finkler Question either earlier in the year.
Ian McEwan’s - On Chesil Beach (2007 Booker prize shortlisted): Good read, if only for its description of 1960s England, before the advent of the pill and the mainstream-ing of contraceptives.
Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz (2006 New York Times Bestseller): An engaging read on Christianity, and how it is meant to be a passionate relationship not based on stultifying rules. The section on being addicted to solitude hit too close to home too… Definitely one I should re-read at a more leisurely pace.
Haruki Murakami’s After Dark: Seven hours one Tokyo night… Part real life, part dream.

Baguette days

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:51:22 +0000

Given the decidedly appalling weather we have had out here, the very first signs of sunshine returning are enough to tempt people out of their various hiding places on to the public spaces again. Walking down my usual route back to work - after a quick lunch hour detour into town - I notice the forecourt at the Square is a lot busier than usual. There are people seated on the wooden benches, others standing in little groups and more , like me, passing through, all united by the desire to soak up the rare sight of the noon day sun.

Growing old

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 21:54:48 +0000

Any pretensions to still being young I might have had are slowly evaporating. It does look like all around me, there is a slew of people having to face age related health problems. Over the weekend, I learned that someone close had a biopsy and was facing possible surgery over an enlarged prostrate. Someone else had somehow copped an ankle strain in April which hadn’t eased up since then and another one had significantly elevated blood pressures.

And she wasn't there

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:05:30 +0000

Each day - for the past two months and some - when I get off my bus and walk the couple hundred metres to the hole office I work at, I take a left turn off Union, down the dingy stairs via the back roads on to Guild street and then into work. Most days I am plugged into my iPod, listening to whatever catches my fancy on that day, hands in my pocket deep in thought. Nine days out of ten, just before I take the turn I see her - a lone black face bobbing in a sea of browns and whites, wrapped up to the nines waiting for her bus. She can’t be more than 5’-2", usually rocks a ‘fro and dangles her little bag in the tell-tale Nigerian chic ninety-degree arm pose. At first all there was were a couple of furtive glances, followed by the straight face pretending-I-never-took-a-peek look. And then with time, and the familiarity of a shared routine, there was the almost imperceptible nod and the odd mouthed greeting.

About Town: The chicken tikka edition

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:12:47 +0000

My memories of previous encounters with Indian cuisine are not exactly fond. The last time - an impromptu appearance at a leaving do for an Indian expat from work - I ended up tossing and turning through the night, tormented both bodily and mentally by masala dosa. Thanks to that, and my well documented lack of adventure when it comes to food, it was my last attempt at eating anything Indian- a full five years ago.

On the futility of forgetting

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 19:20:57 +0000

Memory is a strange thing. Even the most tenuous of links can breach the walls of enforced forgetfulness, triggering the release of a barrage of memories once thought to have been successfully sequestered deep beyond the reach of even the most pernicious of random triggers.

There are the shared banalities, the simple everyday things which in themselves hold no sentimental value but which in the context of a shared life paradoxically serve to bridge the miles. She, bored in a work meeting, emailing you a doodle of the big fat goat head that is her boss, you roasting rice to dryness, setting off the fire alarms and eliciting mock sympathy from her, all in good faith.

Enhanced functionality

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 18:03:18 +0000

Got this in my email today.. Talk about inventive proselytising.. I am actually tempted to call the numbers on the car..

Thankful... the kinda random thursday edition

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:44:34 +0000

Thankful for:

Top blokes: Met up for dinner with a chap I once worked for in Nigeria. He was one of the more senior engineers on my first job, was in town participating in a design review and called me up for dinner. We met up at an Italian place in town. The nachos were delightful, the spaghetti and meat balls were awesome too, plus he paid. Now I know where to take the lasses I am eyeing to for a ‘spoiling’ session. :)
Fortuitous nose bleeds: I haven’t had nosebleeds in a long time, at best they are unnecessary irritations at worst they can spoil a perfectly good day. In a first for me, a nosebleed saved my bum in a meeting just before I was due to get a grilling, talk about unintended consequences…
Milestone birthdays: Someone really close turned fifty (not me). Thankful for the opportunity to have shared their life over the past few years.

Skillet - Yours to Hold

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 20:56:42 +0000

Stumbled on this song whilst clearing out music on my old computer, and I fell in love with it all over again. 60 plays and counting in just over a day.

Mid Year Thoughts

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 17:34:05 +0000

An unintended consequence of daily quotidian pursuits is the possibility of being sucked into a rut. Sleep, food, mind numbing work, the occasional tryst, the odd night out with the lads repeated ad nauseum and suddenly it is the middle of the year.

In truth it has been a so-so year - the break up with EJ, a job offer that I eventually turned down, issues with my father and all the other niggling issues I am having to contend with. Amidst all this, the anti-immigrant rhetoric in the UK appears to have gone a level higher - everyone from layman to political leader is jumping on the bandwagon to decry the scourge of the immigrant. The latest changes been mooted are to limit migrant visas to a maximum five year term. That has significant implications for my ‘business model’. My decision to leave my Nigerian job and head back to school is increasingly looking daft. A Nigerian equivalent, the Petroleum Industry Bill which is meant to fundamentally reshape the industry and focus Nigerian Content Development has been in the works for a few years now, and is probably no where near being signed into law.

On Lists

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 20:37:46 +0000

Lists appear to have suddenly become the leitmotif of the few blogs I read. From Don Miller sharing his fiancee’s list to Esco imagining the All Nigerian Girl, to AnyaPosh, Miss Enigma, Sting and all the lasses doing that 30 day blogging thing, everyone appears to be sharing bits and pieces of lists.

When I was much younger I was a big fan of lists - on everything from five year goals and plans, gadgets to buy to what I wanted in a spouse - complete with excel spreadsheets which calculated weighted averages across the various categories. The one thing I didn’t bargain for was that it would become a mechanistic check-the-box-or-check-out exercise - that happened - nor did I question the basis on which the items were identified, or if indeed I was at a time and place where I could expect those qualities from others.

Life moments

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 07:45:40 +0000

This morning on my commute into work - whilst plugged into my iPod staring out of the window as the city stirs to life - a little boy and a man I assume is his father catch my attention.

They are seated two rows in front of me. The boy cannot be more than five by my reckoning, especially because he is dressed in the navy blue jumper that the school down the road from my stop uses for a uniform. The man has his arm around the boy who rests his head on his side. From where I am sat, I can hear them conversing in low tones. I am not close enough to make out what they are saying but in that moment I allow my mind roam.

Thankful... for unintended meet ups

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:18:41 +0000

Amidst the madness - sometimes controlled but largely tottering on the edge of spontaneous combustion - that has marked the last couple of months, it has become increasingly difficult to meet up with what few friends I have left in town. This week has been typical; planning a plant turnaround, updating the 2012 business plan and hosting a couple of blokes from Corporate HQ concurrently have combined to make this another one of those long arduous weeks. Leaving the office late for the umpteenth time, on a whim I decide to make a pit stop at the Nando’s next door. It appears fairly deserted for a Thursday evening. Usually the family friendly spaces are crowded on a Thursday evening - so it is strange that I find a seat without so much as a wait.

Putting More Men on the job

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:10:11 +0000

Amidst the continuing babble of concerned friends, I may have hit upon my very own final solution. Granted it is decidedly more benign than the Nazi version, but as a strategy to buy myself much needed respite, it has worked like a charm. When asked awkward questions about being single when hanging out with the lads, my answer goes along the lines of being too busy, but declaring that I am very open to recommendations from so-called ‘knowledgeable others’.

Thankful..... for Nando's

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 20:21:15 +0000

Between working extra hours on a couple of projects at work - and my natural proclivity to laziness - honing utilising what precious little cooking skills I have has been relegated to the very back of a fully loaded back burner. It hasn’t helped that the main African shop in town is off my route (and involves an extended walk to and fro the nearest bus stop if I were to use it), or indeed that the final surviving African eatery in town closed shop a couple of years ago.

That Awkward Moment

Sun, 05 Jun 2011 19:33:28 +0000

… when after finally finding a seat on the packed bus, some odd smell hits your nostrils like a Mike Tyson left hook. It is an odd mix of stale sweat, putrid urine and beer. You look around, wondering what the source might be. When the portly gentleman seated right next to you moves, a fresh salvo assaults your nostrils identifying him as the culprit. Unfortunately, the next stop is a full fifteen minutes away, so you are stuck with ‘savouring’ the smells.

About Town

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:52:26 +0000

It is the end of May, and spring is finally seguing into summer. You wouldn’t know this if the last few days are all you had to go by. We have been besieged by a procession of colder weather, rains and strong winds - winds which have caused no small measure of chaos in the highlands so far. Thankfully today the sun is out - almost Lagos-esque in its warmth - and the dull grey granite walls which define this city by their ubiquity already look better thanks to the dash of colour the sun adds.

In which I perfect the non-trivial art of eating hot dodo

Tue, 31 May 2011 22:18:30 +0000

One of my lesser known ’life skills’ is eating piping hot dodo - and that fresh from the frying pan. Looking back, this non-trivial skill was honed in the kitchen of #19 Aiguobasinmwin Crescent. It must have been sometime in 1986 - those were the heady days in which Lawrence Anini our very own Robin Hood-lite and his side kick Monday Osunbor reigned supreme in Benin City. Sane, un-jazzed-up people stayed indoors, the not so sane limited their night-time frolicking nonetheless.

Hymnals and Memories

Sun, 29 May 2011 21:49:05 +0000

Given my decidedly abysmal attendance at church this year, it is somewhat out of character that I arrive early enough to catch the beginning of the opening hymn, the incredibly mellifluous All Things Bright and Beautiful. It is one hymn, in all its variants of tune and stanza, which I have come to associate with growing up all those many years ago on a University campus in Nigeria. For all of ten years, it was a perennial favourite amongst the teachers and prefects who led morning assemblies, and along with my well worn copy of Songs of Praise remains stuck in my head as markers from that phase of life.

Of Nigerian Wives

Thu, 26 May 2011 18:06:27 +0000

Based on data extracted from this Nairaland thread.

I was bored at work so I took the liberty of trying to create an infographic from the pros and cons (for women) on the list. I shrunk the pros and cons into twenty one categories and gave each ethnicity a ‘+1’ where it was a pro, a ‘0’ where they were not assessed and a ‘-1’ where that category was marked as a con. The ‘pros’ have been condensed into a fraction measuring the potential returns on investing in a Nigerian woman, whilst the ‘cons’ have similarly been aggregated to give a measure of how ‘high maintenance’ a Nigerian woman can be. The size of the bubble is a measure of the chikability (how likely it is that a bloke’s toastings will gell).

TGIF - The getting grief edition

Fri, 20 May 2011 22:03:47 +0000

Friday night just happened. A flat battery led to two of the guys hitching a ride with a third back to the city centre. The fourth guy happened to be home alone after his wife and kids travelled to Nigeria, and I the perpetually ‘alone’ guy was asked to tag along. All five of us piled into our friend K’s 4-wheeler and we decided to hit the an African spot to unwind.

Thankful... for breathers

Thu, 19 May 2011 12:33:51 +0000

The pointlessness of most work is never more obvious than when it is suddenly cut short. Like an unexpected breath of fresh the relentless flow of work in my direction has suddenly stopped, even if only for a day. In it’s stopping it has become clear that a lot of what I had- as a matter of course- sifted through daily was unnecessary.

It is the team day off, and the brilliant sunshine currently bathing the city in its glow makes it seem like a particularly potent rainmaker was contracted to make it a success. Usually by this time, I have been on the phone five or six times to clarify one issue or the other with my offshore counterpart (who I outrank on paper, but earn way much less than), attended a couple of meetings and or have had to respond to a request for information.

First there was MG

Tue, 17 May 2011 22:22:38 +0000

My earliest memories of growing up are inextricably bound up with the dirty brown house on 4th street, brick red sand and Di, or MG as we would grow to know her in our adult years. It was the summer rainy season of 1988 and the sun in all its gory beastliness was baking us all, turning our days into long drawn out battles with boredom, exacerbated by excruciatingly boring teachers. Us boys lived for the bell, the harbinger of our short and long breaks, an all too brief salvation from studying. I was barely eight years old, but I was fast making a name for myself as a nerd; complete with very thick lenses, a voracious appetite for non-academic reading and an extreme love for solitude. The only physical activity I engaged in was the odd football kick abut where I was about as useful as a goal post. I often got sentenced to playing the goal keeper, where I was as much likely to play a wanton pass as concede a daft goal. It was an age where competition hadn’t become second nature to us though, so it wasn’t often that a gaffe was punished beyond the pitch.

Ctrl+Alt+Del

Sun, 15 May 2011 06:35:55 +0000

If only life were like a jammed computer where ctrl+alt+del could restart.. sigh.

(Image source GearFuse)

In which I (vaguely) remember the Girls I Never Kissed

Sat, 14 May 2011 06:30:47 +0000

There is no better incentive to reassess the landscape of one’s failed loves than watching re-runs of NCIS on TV on a Friday night. Something about being slouched in a lazy boy chair, empty bottles of beer to one side and the TV remote on the other, stands in marked contrast to what typical Friday nights are meant to be - maelstroms of revelry, getting hammered and possibly getting laid.

For Ella*... An Epilouge of sorts...

Wed, 11 May 2011 19:30:48 +0000

August 2010 to April 2011

Word for word, We beat the love Out of each other *

Like hammer - Blows crack rock, And water- Wears granite Smooth- Day by day, Our rage poisons- Everything.

Memory is - A wound kept raw; closure is An uncertain salve.

The End. Sigh *Line shamelessly purloined from Yousef Komunyakaa’s Once the Dream Begins.

At the insistence of O.

Sat, 07 May 2011 19:44:21 +0000

I owe my Saturday afternoon out to the persistence of my friend O. It is 3.30pm when his call comes in. Having taken the luxury of a long weekend off, I have rocked my couch well nigh to extinction, subsisting on NCIS and CSI and re-runs of The District on the television. The bright and sunny day out there has not been enough to lure me out of my comfort zone. He has been holed up for a different reason. Finals on his PhD are coming up thick and fast, and he is grateful for the chance to take a breather.

On Repeat: History - Matthew West..

Fri, 06 May 2011 21:21:41 +0000

Just because it’s one of those days….

Coming clean...

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:17:34 +0000

On the surface, I live a life that most people would envy - 5 years working for a Fortune 500 company in Nigeria, followed by a well recognized MSc and then a job working for one of the industry leaders in my sector of the Oil industry. On the family side, it would appear that I have it all sorted - the quintessential good son, with proud, loving and doting parents. The true picture couldn’t be further from the truth.

Ninety Days of Solitude...

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 06:55:05 +0000

Between listening to Josh Harris share Tiffany’s story at New Attitude 2004 and listening to the message preached at church last Sunday, I realise there is a lot that needs to change in my life. From being the poster child for the good, dutiful, spiritual one, I have morphed into a self serving, increasingly desperate, relationship obsessed wreck. Albert Einstein is said to have noted that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. From where I stand, that defines me at the moment. I’m deciding to do things different for the next 90 days, to see if I get different outcomes.

TGIF...

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 10:04:17 +0000

I get a phone call from my buddy Ken. Yet another one of the blokes from work has moved on to ‘pastures new’ and we who have been left behind are meeting up for drinks and to chat. It is a welcome distraction from the events of the last few weeks - missing EJ, a couple of massive projects at work and the fairly steady haranguing I have been getting from my mother.

20/20 Hindsight.

Fri, 22 Apr 2011 19:11:05 +0000

The job I didn’t take? Turns out that the project I would have got placed on just went sour and the bloke I wanted to work for quit the company….I should be feeling pretty smug, but then I have friends who may have just gotten burned.. Sigh.

I have been thinking...

Thu, 21 Apr 2011 18:24:31 +0000

Sometimes one thing can become every thing…..

Biting the bullet...

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 20:28:15 +0000

Against everything my head tells me, I pick up the phone and call my elder sister. Growing up, she and I at best had a tenuous relationship, at the worst of times we barely spoke to each other for long stretches. She always had this way of taking bluntness to illogical extremes in my opinion. Lately, Mother has put her on the job of hassling me.

When my call connects, she is in the middle of mixing up some cereal for her youngest child. She puts my call on speaker phone mode as she juggles her child, the phone call and the bowls she is using.

Spring's sprung...

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 12:00:24 +0000

Out here, spring is very much upon us at last. Across the land there is an almost sudden profusion of colour; purples, yellows, blues, reds and whites suddenly dot the landscape where a dull, depressing green was standard fare a scant few weeks ago. Standing in front of the door to my modest lodgings, flowers are all I see when I look up the road. Those who should know say the unseasonably warm weather beguiled the flowers into blooming early. The upside to it all is that my otherwise bland commute is now transformed into a celebration of colour, colour not restricted to flowers but extending to women. The warmth and the sunshine mean that around town the hemlines and necklines are coming together quickly, and a lot more skin is visible.

Wedding bells...

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 06:56:13 +0000

I wake up to the insistent whine of my cell phone. I try to let it ring, hoping that whoever it is will leave a voice mail but when the call ends there is only a respite of a couple of minutes before the next call comes in. I drag myself to my desk and pick up the phone on the third ring, it is my mother.

- Oohjay how are you, she asks.

Marriage Matters..

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 06:23:41 +0000

I am checking my emails when a LinkedIn notification comes in. Over the past few months, LinkedIn has morphed into a Facebook for professionals - never more so than in its ability, and willingness, to dreg emails and address books for connections to suggest. This particular suggestion is for a connection to a friend of my father’s from back in the day when he was a struggling academic, labouring under the especially onerous conditions of the Abacha era. I add him, and after a few minutes he accepts. He emails me, asking me where and how I am, how my parents are, and then adds the marriage question..

Sunday guest...

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 20:38:30 +0000

Someone shouts my high school nickname in the middle of Union Square, just as I am about to take a left turn through the train station. I am more than a few minutes late having allowed my typical Sunday morning lethargy - part relapsed faith, part lingering hangover - to leave me in real danger of arriving late. By the time I finally pull myself off my bed, complete my preparations and grab the number 16 bus to the city centre, it is already 11.10am; meaning Sunday school is over, and the opening hymnal is just about to be sung.

Getting the growlies..

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 08:47:55 +0000

*Grosspost alert*

I wake up with a disturbing case of the growlies. Last night I binged on chocolate flavoured milk, an impulse buy as I trawled the aisles at my local Coop shop sorting out my groceries. The thing is lactose intolerance for me is hit and miss. Some days I can ingest a lot of milk and yet not get any serious symptoms. On other days, even a little has my stomach in cramps and me passing gas.

Delayed cognition

Tue, 05 Apr 2011 06:26:02 +0000

I wake up to the sounds of a quiet house. It has taken all of twenty four hours but finally my benumbed brain connects to reality. Last night, EJ and I split up officially. It was very amicable - no shouting, no crying, no theatrics - just two adults recognizing that the time to end our tenuous grip on each other and move on had come. It is a strange place to be. We’re still friends, we intend to keep the lines of communication open, but our nine months of being official have ended. Now that reality has hit, I feel like a large, gaping hole has been torn in my very existence.

Resolving my credibility deficit

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:22:49 +0000

If there is one thing I have learned from returning to work after a year and a half off studying, it is that there is a very tangible credibility deficit that us early-mid-career professionals have to make up when they switch jobs. I define the early-mid-career phase as that stage of the working life between the five year mark and the ten year mark generally corresponding to the period within which the professional exceeds 10,000 working hours.

Web Reads.. 1April2011

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 20:05:26 +0000

Quick reads….

On-the-job relationships come back into the limelight - one Police Unit seems to have fallen apart over the Team Leader’s dalliance with a female team member.
On paywalls, one of the more rational arguments I’ve read. (HT - The Daily Dish)
Artificial leaves currently in development may one day power an entire house by electrolysing water and providing hydrogen for fuel cells.
Robotic bird flying becomes a wee bit more realistic.
The genetic basis for loving working out.
Sounding a note of caution for using GPS-aware apps indiscriminately. Color gets another (light) bashing.
Slick sleaze, or ill advised expenditure? A short history of the bomb-zapper that never was.
Google aims to turn phones into credit cards.
App of the Week? Social Media meets shopping for dresses - an app for your friends to help you select a dress.
The boobs have it. Apparently, there is a connection between length of time spent breast feeding and brain size. However there is no guarantee that breast milk is all that, especially when the mother isn’t eating well herself after all.

On repeat...The Letter Black

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 03:00:51 +0000

Awake into the wee hours of the morning…. With only The Letter Black for company… The part where they start off as a Praise and Worship Band in church before morphing into this group still has me scratching my head though. Their official bio’s here.

Cabbie Chats...

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 14:17:21 +0000

Scotland play Brazil down south today. Today’s cab driver is a chatty Scotsman merrily drawing puffs from his nicotine inhaler. From the get go it seems like he is in the mood to talk. The bright sunny weather offers him a starting point.

- Sunny day today, he says when I finally get my seat belt fastened and the journey kicked off. We make small talk about the weather, and how spring seems to have come a little earlier this year. He gently chides me, warning me not to tempt fate by celebrating the weather.

Web Reads... 25Mar2011

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 20:27:41 +0000

Back after missing two weeks.. Blame an ultra packed work programme..So here goes..

S3’s brain-computer implant passes 1000 days in situ. Small steps, but good news none the less.
LOL, FYI and OMG make it into the Oxford English Dictionary.
Meet the luxury edition iPad2, 24 carat gold, 53 diamonds and T-Rex bone shavings; all for a ‘paltry’ 5M pounds..
Justin Taylor does an early ‘April Fool’s Day ruse about a letter to the Apostle Paul.
Buying the right to fight a case for someone else?
Goodluck Jonathan leads the latest poll? Interesting stuff in Nigeria..

Turning Point..

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 19:18:55 +0000

Following on from the increasingly earlier start to first light, the fading of the rains and a strengthening sun, I had my first day this year of sleeping without heating. Spring truly is here then I guess….

Sunny Days..

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 13:42:03 +0000

Wohooo.. Sunny Days are here again..

A Dream Deferred...

Sun, 20 Mar 2011 21:33:18 +0000

Out of the blue, Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun came to mind this morning. I did a bit of googling and managed to find the full text of the Langston Hughes poem that inspired the title: A Dream Deferred.

What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore– And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?

My 3Six5

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:15:02 +0000

I was graciously given the opportunity to share today’s entry over at the3Six5 Project. I enjoyed it so much, I might actually try to blog everyday for an entire year!

The first few lines:

Making it into work on time each week day is a minor optimization problem for which I try to find a solution: maximize sleep and minimize time spent waiting at the bus stop, subject to time of arrival being 8.30am. These last few days, Mother Nature has compounded my little problem by unleashing an unwelcome trio of rain, gale force winds and the occasional fluffs of snow making my waits at the bus stop something I have not particularly looked forward to.

Re: Conundrums...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:28:51 +0000

It seems like a bloke is forever bound to trawl life, f aced with conundrums every step of the way - safety versus adventure versus satisfaction… Sigh…

Update: Miss Complicated got married last Saturday.. One less conundrum then.

Decisions, Decisions..

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:29:10 +0000

To do a Fernando Torres or not is the million seven thousand dollar question facing me now. The situation can’t be more similar - a move across town to the old enemy, at a ‘wrong’ time, and a few kegs of bad blood spilt on both sides. Sometimes too much choice is bad…. sigh.

Secret.....

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 07:09:20 +0000

For the prompt Secret, at the Writer’s Island.. Better late than never.

Words - More words. Hand motions - Quickening to a blur.

Straight faces - Eyes fixed forward - Pretending there is calm; While like a seething, shifting mess Pain hides; Behind bitter sweet memories - Filed away, locked deep - In the dank, dark recesses Of a shattered hope.

The lord giveth, The lord taketh We like homing pigeons return; To the same shattered places.

Reasons Not To Be On Bus 16: #1 - Drunk American Tourists

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 21:26:02 +0000

I lug my knapsack, and join the queue at the bus stop. It is one of those really cold days, made worse because the day before was on the other side of warm and I am not properly dressed for the weather - that, and the howling wind. There is a little queue building up - roadworks have meant that the bus is operating a slightly lighter schedule. A man walks up to me wearing a kilt and holding bag pipes. He seems to be in his late thirties or early forties and there is the ubiquitous whiff of alcohol on his breath - and a few weeks old stubble on his chin with a smattering of grey. I increase the volume a little more on my iPod to stave off the inevitable inane banter. He doesn’t seem impressed. He shifts from one foot to the other making wheezing noises all the time.

Father Issues...

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 18:18:18 +0000

On the 4th ring, someone answers the phone. The voice is distant, seemingly attenuated by all the miles of cabling and ether between me and the recipient. There is a certain sleepy quality to the voice too, as though I have woken them up from the depths of an afternoon nap. Its late afternoon in that part of the world, that time of day when the oppressive heat and the lack of activity on a Sunday afternoon combine to lull one into a dreamy haze.

Beating the flu, conversations over lunch and a question of faith...

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 21:20:07 +0000

I finally beat my bout of the flu. Two days off work away from the cesspool of infection and re-infection - and a strong smelling concoction served up by my friend O - proved the final sucker punch that knocked out the few remaining colonies of the bug I picked up. I still do not consider myself at 100% fit, but at least it has become possible to settle into a close approximation of my old routines even though a slight headache remains.

It depends...

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 22:48:14 +0000

Huddled around broken tables in the decrepit drawing office that served as a lecture theatre back in the day, a lesson in thinking on one’s feet was forced into our heads. At that time it was impossible to know the importance of that moment, or even remotely suspect that it could be a lifesaver in the distant future. There were no flashing light bulbs, no pressmen, no stenographers capturing the moment, no markers denoting the time and space where a life altering truth was uttered.

On Repeat: Long Distance..

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 23:46:15 +0000

One of those so apt songs that leave one kinda depressed….. Sigh..

Bug Fest..

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 09:16:28 +0000

My head hurts… The unwanted gift of a hammering headache, a running nose, a sore throat and a rasping cough have laid into me - unintended consequences of open plan offices, shared spaces and recycled air laden with seasonal bugs. We have been pressed into the service of our very own macabre orchestra - our wheezing, sneezing and coughing all coming together in a bug fest.. I really wish I could call in sick tomorrow.. Sigh..

Web Reads... 27Feb2011

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 19:28:23 +0000

The Queen advertises for a dish washer to come on staff… My local MSP wonders if they’ve not heard of a dish washing machine.
The WHO drills down into the alcohol stats.. Apparently alcohol killed more people than AIDS or TB in 2010.. Sobering..
Understanding the story.. Thirteen perspectives….
Brain chemicals and dating.. A primer.
Teju Cole’s ‘Open City’ hits the shelves… The New Yorker, The Daily Beast and The Apostrophe weigh in with reviews.
The kid named Facebook..Ostensibly its a testament to the impact FB had on the Egypt Revolution.. Hopefully, the kid doesn’t get a lot of stick for the name though..
There’s an app for that… Tracking relationship changes on Facebook gets the Web2.0 makeover….. SMH..
Web mourning?
Help for the blokes - wristbands that warn of potentially PMSing partners.
Bringing faiths together by cuisine.. The Faith and The Hot Dog show..

Not feeling it...

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 21:07:26 +0000

Sleep and I have never been the best of friends. As far down the labyrinths of memories that I can navigate I find that I have always been an early sleeper, prone to be awakened by the lightest of commotions. Perhaps it is me clutching at omens - seeking to find solace in unrelated events - but days when I have awakened early with full control of my senses something momentous has happened.

Sidewalk Preacher..

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:52:21 +0000

I am waiting for the bus to work when I see a four-wheel drive approach. Two men jump out and proceed to hand out invites of some sort. When I finally get mine, its for a seeker focused meeting at the Church opposite the road from the bus stop. In another place, these men would be armed with portable microphones, blaring out the Gospel.. Interestingly, what I remember is the white-clothed variant….

Piling up the Books..

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:40:31 +0000

The size of the reading list for 2011 is threatening to spiral out of control. And I am adding more to the list… Added two new books to the list - Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist and Teju Cole’s Open City. That brings to five the books on the list.. Sigh..

Blackberries.. Quite Literarily...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 20:56:02 +0000

Hilarious video…. Littered with double meanings… Totally loved it..

Simple Things...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 03:20:00 +0000

Sometimes simple things can break you. Benign things repeated time and time again can finally reach a threshold that leaves a scar - scratch marks burned on the wall of ones consciousness like ravines gouged out of hard rock by the persistence of a swollen river. It is not an inherent danger of the act, but its repetition that finally wears one out.

I have been carrying a beeping device around. Every thirty minutes a faint beep sounds - a precursor to the inflation of a cuff around my arm - and then I must stretch my hand out for one more data point to be acquired. At first it was novelty and I tried to anticipate when the next beep might sound. But with each beep and straightening of the arm,a certain weariness descends. I want out of the control the little device has over me. Sadly, the only choice I had was in accepting..The consequence was chosen for me at the same time.

Web Reads.. 18Feb2011

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 18:44:51 +0000

‘Spiritual’ love goes social… The story of Vicars connected by a witty comment on Facebook
A soup ladle turns out to be a life saver in more ways than one.. Meet the bloke saved from a tiger by his wife’s soup ladle
‘Life is short, have an affair?’… Al Mohler muses on the Ashley Madison business model..
GABA receptors may be the reason for anxiety around that ’time of the month’ for the lasses..
The ’thief’ who sued the bloke he tried to steal from - and got 13k pounds..
A not so short history of Aji-no-moto.. And the scare scaremongering around MSG.
Man vs Machine.. 1-0 to the machines on Jeopardy..

Bleh....

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 21:14:00 +0000

I finally drag myself out of bed at the third time of asking. It is shaping up to be one of those days; one when an ultra short to-do list will manage to get the better of me. Something about the lack of urgency spawned by a short to-do list has always been my besetting ‘sin’. Today, there is one thing that must needs be done - I’m off to the GP’s to have a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring device fitted.

In praise of 3.00pm....

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 15:00:53 +0000

If clocking in at 9am is the final act that seals my very own Faustian exchange, 3.00pm heralds the first faint sniffs of a coming salvation.

Each day, a Bloke must lay the gifts of his time and skill on the altar of Mammon slaving away to earn his sustenance. Cups of coffee, endless trips to the loo, inane spreadsheets, chats with the intern and the occasional hard shift are all tools in the Bloke’s arsenal as he strives to make time pass quickly to justify the day’s pay. If the Bloke is lucky, make that uncommonly lucky, he finds his daily grind slightly more than remotely interesting. If he is like the rest of us, sometimes work is a long drawn out struggle with boredom.

Seasons of Discontent..

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 17:14:00 +0000

The discontent is almost palpable. There is that sense of wanting more that seems to leave those it has infected disaffected with the status quo. Rumour has it that a number of senior company people are lining up moves elsewhere for themselves. It hasn’t helped that there is some uncertainty over what the long term company strategy is. A number of key company cash cows projects appear to be slipping and just what will happen to the personnel currently servicing them is unclear. People huddle in twos and three talking in hushed tones - tones that suddenly fade to an uncomfortable silence when someone outside the huddle approaches within hearing distance.

Recapping the road trip..

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 03:08:00 +0000

I finally went on that road trip. I packed my bags, booked my flights and went on a jaunt to America. America for me was two cities - a flying stop in Chicago and a couple of weeks spent vegetating in Houston. The America I saw was a welcome relief from the biting cold that was my home city; 17 degree temperatures were Lagos-esque when juxtaposed with the near Arctic conditions I had fled from.

Web Reads... 11Feb11

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 20:06:33 +0000

Personality tests go a notch up - this site offers personality tests based on your blog.
Automating war? Danger room reports that one in fifty ‘combatants’ in Afghanistan is a robot.
The key to snagging the dream girl appears to be acting uninterested. @JangleLegJones thinks differently, sadly I couldn’t convince her to write a 4000 word essay deconstructing the research.
Tim Challies offers the chance to pre-order his new book, and get a signed copy.
Apparently, even sex is a matter for IQ these day s.. Sigh..
There’s an app for that. Confessionals go electronic.
Sleepwalking may be in the DNA after all.
A kiss too far?
Much ado about farting
Potentially crappy valentine weekend coming up? Try these books to get you laid..

WebReads.. 04Feb2011

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 05:49:38 +0000

Steve shares his learnings so far - 30 days after quitting Facebook
The Christian Illuminati? Or Just a well connected crew? More questions than answers in this teaser...
Large-proofing emergency services - counting the costs.
The Jerusalem UFO, or a drone?
Becoming invisible?
Wack or what? The bloke who added his wife to a terrorist watch list to prevent her flying back home.
‘Spray-on skin’ for burn victims.
This brings a whole new meaning to the storm in a tea-cup idiom. Storm in a bed sheet?
Mubarak’s cronies launch a cyber counter-insurgency…
Mosquitoes evolved?

2008.... Again..

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 22:14:05 +0000

I suspect that the truest measure of how sensibly one has aged is how well one is able to take a long hard look at choices - and their potential long term effects - before acting. Time, that most elusive of customers, respects no one. From the day that we are born, our share - ladled without so much as an explanation lobbed in our direction - ineluctably runs out like sand in an hour glass. Each passing second once spent is lost, left to float in the seething morass that is the conflation of opportunities missed, acts of omission and of omission and perhaps on the odd occasion windows of opportunity fully utilised.

#2- The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives..

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 20:53:00 +0000

Book number two is Lola Shoneyin’s The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives. This was one of the books I’ve actually tried to buy off Amazon and failed - twice (the other one being Teju Cole’s Everyday is for the Thief). I thoroughly enjoyed this one - maybe because Baba Segi used to be a moniker I was known by. My summary:

Shoneyin takes polygamous life - the rivalry, the struggle for the bread winner’s attention, the gumption that ensures survival - and condenses it into a compelling narrative. The genius of it all is that is completely believable.

Slow-ville....

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 03:47:00 +0000

The last few weeks here have looked and felt like life on slow play. Days blending into weeks, weeks somehow adding up to January ending. Slow-ville … Yawn..

Books: The Finkler Question

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 10:23:14 +0000

I finally finished Howard Jacobsen’s 2010 Man Booker Prize winning offering “The Finkler question” – if plodding through the equivalent of 320 pages on a mobile device can count as reading. The ubiquity of kindle apps for almost every connected device under the sun – and Amazon’s penchant for adding tons of cardboard to shipped books - made me try the iPad + Kindle app combo for reading books this year.

In the main, reviews of the book were great - The Guardian , The Independent and The Telegraph all had high praise for the book. Although there were quite a few note worthy constructs sequestered within the text, I did however find reading it a wee bit tiring. What the book did well though, was to endlessly waffle on about the subject of being…

Money matters...

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 20:48:47 +0000

ISAs, Fixed deposits, Savings Plus, Pension plans, and playing the stock market…… Money on my mind and that not in a good way… If only I could win the lottery… Sigh.. :(

WebReads... 28Jan

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 18:55:34 +0000

Genetically engineering plants to spot bombs may be the future of counter terrorism..
LED teeth may be the new cool.. If only in Japan..
Want to make the transition from talk to bed? Social media might be it after all. So much for Gladwell’s ‘diss’ of social media.
Apparently brain scans can identify a predisposition to transexuality..
His Grace - Archbishop Crammer - weighs in on the lack of political voices speaking up on the abortion debate.
Tyler Blanski encourages us to re-think sex
One bloke got busted for importing cockroaches… HT @relevantmag

Tagged: The stylish and Versatile Meme...

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 16:29:19 +0000

It has been aeons since I was tagged. Apparently Esco thinks we are stylish and versatile as does Jaycee… Versatile? Maybe.. Stylish? Definitely not.. Just ask the girlfriend… So here goes…

My wardrobe is composed entirely of blacks, greys and whites - except for two shirts that were imposed on me in January by you know who…
I am an Adult Child of Practising Preachers - I’m not quite the quintessential preacher’s kid although even I would admit I have my moments..
My mother’s first degree was in English - and she still corrects my text messages till date (which is why I do not send her a lot of them).
The first non-explicitly Christian song I ever sang was A Whole New World from the Aladdin soundtrack. Blame it on a TV-starved, ultra conservative childhood.
I love chilling to music… I once had Brooke Fraser’s Shadow Feet on repeat for close on three straight days… I’ve had Steve Fee’s When Everything Falls Apart on repeat today..
I’m a Football Manager addict player. Interestingly, I have a new pal at work who I connected with over Football Manager. These days we swap in-game stories over lunch..
My one moment of fame was being handed the role of the Magi bearing Myrrh in our Children’s church theatrical adaptation of ‘We Three Kings’ for Christmas back in the day. That has not prevented me from fantasizing about playing lead guitar at a live gig before 2020.. Fat chance I guess, but hey I can dream…

Tagging? I’m not sure who has done this and who has not.. So.. feel free.. Run with it.. Its therapeutic..:)

Web Reads - 21Jan...

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 19:54:42 +0000

Max Atkinson deconstructs JFK’s iconic inaugural speech and identifies Six Essentials. Apparently the key is utilizing contrasts; three-part list; contrasts combined with lists; alliteration; bold imagery and audience analysis. Useful for writers?
Children who write by hand ’learn better than those who type’. However text messaging ‘improves children’s spelling skills’. Clearly the pen is mightier than the keyboard, but the cellphone is mightier still..
The woman who solved her own kidnap story.
The evidence for manflu - even if its only in our heads…
The genetic basis for friendships..
Surely it’s a first, but the city of Liverpool now has an embassy in the UK..

On repeat: No weapon...

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 19:31:35 +0000

Another one of those songs that defined a season for me.. 1999, 300 level, juggling a ton of issues, looking for somewhere to read one of those Saturdays and I stumbled on the CFI choir practising for a music fiesta..It was my first Fred Hammond song. And I was hooked..

Questioning the answers..

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 16:56:50 +0000

Having passed several chronological milestones, one increasingly has had to field questions that assume that all the basic competencies required to function as an independent contributor to life in various spheres have been achieved. Invariably these often centre on the achievement of academic, financial, material and career milestones. Amidst the focus on these admittedly essential categories is a lack of focus on the attainment of certain critical thinking skills.

I subscribe to the belief that a child is born with a blank worldview - the so called tabula rasa. Over time he/she acquires knowledge about life; typically by experience. The child thus builds up a worldview- religious, social, cultural, sexual even. At it’s most basic, this worldview is a set of answers for what constitute good, bad, the why of life, meaning, etc. Of necessity, these answers have to be gleaned from others in the early days - parents and relatives, peers, civic and religious leaders and teachers.

On repeat: Iya Basira...

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:31:37 +0000

One of the unintended consequences of my little 10 day holiday was rediscovering some styl-plus music from back in the day (and being made to watch Nigerian home videos ad nauseam). I somehow have been unable to remove the Iya Basira one from my head…. :(

On Turning Thirty...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:32:00 +0000

I never celebrated turning thirty. The significance of achieving that chronological milestone was lost in the hustle of every life - a barely discernible peak in the flat line that had become a monotonous existence. I had just lost a cast iron guarantee to return to my old job in Nigeria followed quickly by the petering out of what I thought was a nice, strong girl connection. One day I fell asleep, the next I awoke to being thirty plus.

Barry Schwartz on 'Practical Wisdom'...

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:56:15 +0000

One big idea to revolutionise the year in my opinion - ‘Practical Wisdom’. Rules are great but they often lead to performance based metrics which meet the letter of the law, but fail to address the real root causes…. Two excellent TED talks from Barry Schwartz that I’ve been listening to a lot today.. Bring on the new year…

The real crisis? We stopped being wise..Using our practical wisdom

On reading..

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:28:00 +0000

On my forty things by forty list is a task to read 25 books each year. For 2011, I am thinking of starting off with the Booker Prize lists. I suspect a few of them might be out of print, but from running my eye over the list there appears to be at least a few of particular interest. Ben Okri’s 1991 winner ‘The Famished Road’ and Ian McEwan’s ‘Amsterdam’ stand out as starting points. First off though will be ‘The Finkler Question’ by Howard Jacobsen - thanks to the Kindle… :)

New Starts....

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 03:35:00 +0000

The turn of the year is unique for the way it inspires one to try better. Plans from the last year, cast aside without thought or regret, suddenly return to the fore of the mind - seeking to exact their recompense for one’s neglect. Its a New Year.. The one thing I plan on doing this year is to articulate more of the thoughts floating around in my head. Hopefully I’ll write a piece each day on here.. Maybe I’ll not..December 31, 2011 will be the final judge of how well I fared…

The 2011 Plan

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:17:08 +0000

This is slowly becoming a yearly thing on this blog. The 2009 and 2010 Versions are linked. Since 2010 I have opted for focus areas rather than a list.. So here goes the 2011 plan.

God/Faith: Failed to make any headway in this regards last year - It’s a new year.. Let’s hope we fare better this year with resolving the God issues and getting back into a church community.
Work & Career: I safely navigated getting back into work after a poorly thought out decision led to me quitting my last job. This year the focus is on chasing a couple of certifications to boost my profile as an independent contributor. This is slightly complicated by the Girlfriend being stuck in North America. This year I intend to get my professional membership of at least one UK and one North American Engineering body sorted.
People and Socials: Last year was the year I splurged on social media connections. This year, I need to have a strategy for social media interaction. The goal of this strategy is to focus on sharing information, keeping the loose chatter to an absolute minimum. For real life connections, I have been blessed with having a couple of old friends from undergrad in my city, so as a minimum, I should hang out with them once every couple of months..
Health and Weight: 2010 was the year, the bulge finally beat me. The keg ballooned out of control. I bought a home treadmill in my attempt to regain control. This year, I hope to win the battle - running thrice weekly on the treadmill.
Family: The family connection hasn’t been great up to the end of the year. This year I hope to call the parents and siblings at least once each week.
Financial: The numbers from last year indicated I saved approximately 25% of my gross earnings - in spite of significant expenditure on trips to the US and gadgets. This year, I hope to up the percentage to 30%. In conjunction with a promised pay rise at work, it should be a good year - if I avoid splurging on any new gadgets.

When words leave a mark...

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 18:32:18 +0000

A chance meeting - via the ubiquity of the internet - with Yousef Komunyakaa’s poem ‘Ode to The Drum’ left an indelible mark on me.

The sheer beauty of the lines, rich imagery that harks back to a time of hunting for sustenance in Africa and the ritual of drum making are things that I have never been able to forget. In the poem a hunter kills a gazelle, skins it, and uses its skin for a drum. The hunter maintains an ongoing monologue, almost apologetically stating the case for killing the gazelle. There is meat, and the need to drive trouble from the valley via the beating of a drum. In the process of creating a drum, the gazelle is reborn - from dead weight slouching in the grassy hush to a drum beat filling the valley and exorcising evil. This, to me, is the under-girding theme - transformation; from evil to good, from death to a different sort of life. As the year 2010 wraps up, perhaps the closing lines are apt..

Reflections.... The Year in Happenings..

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 16:29:58 +0000

Having earned (if I say so) the right to put my feet up and relax at the end of what has been a particularly hectic year of working, travelling, reading and volunteering, one has the luxury of reflecting on how the year has panned out on a personal note. This time last year I had just packed up my bags, cut my final ties and jumped on the East Coast train service up north to Aberdeen. There was the small matter of needing to restart life on a number of fronts - new job, new city, new house, new friends and all. The first few weeks took getting used to, especially as the job description involved a change of focus - from being the bossy, fastidious-to-a-fault, hard to please client to being part of a service delivery team. January was spent managing the work transition, eased somewhat by having the use of shared company accommodation alongside a colleague with Geordie connections. There were many nights of discussions on a motley of topics well into the night as we both grappled with coming to terms with redemption and second chances - he after invasive heart surgery, me upon returning to daily work after a messy resignation.

The Year in... Infographics..

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:53:01 +0000

A few of the info-graphics that captured my eye this year..

Football Chalkboards: For us the discerning football enthusiasts, chalkboards were the revelations of 2010. Granted the Guardian debuted with them in early 2009, but the Roy vs Rafa debate for us Liverpool fans ensured chalkboards became the ultimate resource for assessing how high up the pitch the lads press, passes completed, oh and the aptly named heatmaps.
Twitter is not a conversation: Us Twitter apologists usually claim Twitter as a conversation for being one of the reasons we stay on Twitter. Sadly, the data does not support that claim, as this info-graphic from 2010 showed.
The world according to Facebook: In December, Paul Butler at Facebook came up with an interesting info-graphic; a world map based on Facebook connections.
Marriage In America: TIME asked if marriage in America was still required. Al Mohler argued that we all do, and this PewSocial info-graphic captured the data.
Infostate of Africa: Fascinating… via AppAfrica Flickr account…

Christmas in the City..

Sat, 25 Dec 2010 10:23:07 +0000

Waking up to the strains of We Three Kings Of Orient Are on the BBC’s Radio 2 brings back memories of days long lost - of youth, of creativity and an unfettered enjoyment of life.

When I was much younger (close on twenty years ago now, cringe), I took part in the carolling, recitals of bible verses committed to memory, and nativity plays which were the highlight of the Christmas season in our small University town in Nigeria. This hymn though, is one especially important to me because it marked the first time I was selected to sing a lead vocal. Granted, I ran over the lines, forgot some, went ‘off key’, and probably knocked my knees so loudly a few well placed microphones might have picked up on them, but it was still a ‘solo’ performance.

2010: The Year in... Words..

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 15:45:30 +0000

Words that were burned into my conciousness in 2010..

swingeing |ˈswinji ng | adjective chiefly Brit. severe or otherwise extreme :
out-with | out- wiθ | preposition. chiefly Scot. outside:
knackered |ˈnækərd | adjective British Slang. exhausted; very tired:
ta | tɑ | interjection British Slang. thank you:
wee | wi | adjective chiefly Scottish. little:

2010: The Year in.... Cabs

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 18:05:04 +0000

I think cab drivers are a microcosm of the larger society and that if a sufficiently large sample is analysed, one can gain critical insights into the mind of a city. This has to be the year where I used cabs the most. Tight deadlines at work, atrocious weather conditions, moving houses and a few late night jaunts around town conspired to leave me needing cabs at various times this year. The downside was largely financial – I ended up racking up significant costs on renting cabs over the year. On the plus side, I think I gained a window into the mindset of this city.

#Subliminals

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 14:55:52 +0000

There has never been anything false about HOPE

Except where the HOPEr has blatantly ignored signs to the contrary…,

Swearing off dancing...

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 12:08:11 +0000

The final lingering vestiges of self deceit died today. Against the incontrovertible evidence, I had remained hopeful that I had the ability to transcend my well documented phobia for dancing. Sometime between Ose O Jesu and some other Yoruba song which has escaped my memory, I realized that my rather feeble attempts at ‘dancing’ - clapping rhythmically, nodding my head from time to time, and shuffling from side to side - bore as much resemblance to dancing as a bee buzzing through the air bore to a fish swimming.. My sense of unease was worsened by the fact that it was a thanksgiving Sunday and we had to dance to the offering box. Interestingly, if the number of dancing worshippers was a significant sample of the larger community, then I am fighting a lost cause in refusing not learning to dance.

Going Ons...

Sat, 11 Dec 2010 13:14:29 +0000

The number 16 bus into the city centre is packed - brim full with people heading into town. The atrocious weather of the last few days let up briefly today, and with the imminence of Christmas, everyone seems to be up and about to get the last bits of shopping done. The bus stop where I clamber aboard the number 16 is mid way between the starting terminus and the ending terminus, as such I can only find standing space, ironically next to a sign that ostensibly marks the limits of standing room. Next to me are a mother and her daughter. The daughter cannot be more than six years old and still possesses the unbridled energy and uninhibited curiosity being young and carefree brings. The atmosphere is tense - of the kind where a word out of place potentially could let loose a fire storm. There are people plugged into iPods, people huddled together in groups chatting away and people like me who are alone, with lowered eyes looking into the distance. The little girl becomes the side show though - firing off question after question to her mother, peering into people’s faces, and at some stage leaning in towards her mother and planting a kiss on her cheek whilst whispering “I love you Mum”. When she gives the wizened old lady behind me a fixed stare. I wonder how the bus scene would look like in a different country, south of the Sahara. For the first time in a few months, I remember my mother.

Web Reads: 10Dec2010

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 19:00:49 +0000

The science of attraction. Perhaps it’s all in the mind after all.
Another reason to google your name. You might be wanted for murder…
Necessity is the mother of invention - the husband who rigged up a taser device to keep his wife faithful..
The ‘completely irresponsible’ call reporting a stolen snowman
The case for eating insects..
Mathematical immortality - buy a theorem and name it after yourself.
The smart wallet that could help you spend within your means..
Bacteria that could recycle iron..
The gene for aggression.
DNA testing of babies - whilst in the womb..

Nigeria: What We searched for..

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 13:34:07 +0000

Google’s 2010 Zeitgeist makes for interesting read.. The summary from Google:

In the year of Nigeria’s 50th independence celebration, it was unsurprising that terms like “Nigeria” and “Goodluck Jonathan” ranked highly in the search trends. But the nation’s imagination was certainly captured by social networking, with “2go” topping the fastest rising list, and “Facebook” being the second most popular search by volume. Nigerian musicians “Terry G” and “Dagrin” also attracted significant online interest.

Links: 3 Dec 2010

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 19:09:27 +0000

Feeding the poor with iPads: How FareShare is blending technology and social responsibility..
The game that ‘makes’ you a genetic scientist…
The radiation debate flares up again - are radio waves frying our brains?
Facebook breakups are the real deal..
The right twitter handle can make you famous.. The girl who suddenly became famous thanks to the ashes down under..
Skye Jethani’s 30 day Twitter experiment…

#30daysofTruth: Day 2 – Something I love about myself..

Fri, 03 Dec 2010 15:01:56 +0000

Something I love about myself - This was always going to be one of the harder posts to pull off. I’m naturally hard on myself and am often self deprecating - false modesty - as someone once said.

If there’s one thing I like about myself, its my ability to discretize a problem - to massage a problem till its broken down to its simplest building blocks. It’s useful at work where I often have to come up with solutions to complex problems, and sometimes with people - when I need to understand them. There are downsides, but this is one ability I’ll not trade for anything else. :)

#30daysofTruth: Day 1 - What I hate about myself..

Thu, 02 Dec 2010 19:33:39 +0000

Looking at me from afar, its hard to see what I should hate about myself. In general, I’ve had a good life - so far- and quite a number of people usually conclude that I’ve got nothing to not like about my life. Truth though is I am slowly finding out that I am increasingly disconnected from the real world and people in my life. I blogged briefly about the issues in un-learning solitude, but daily I find myself drifting, becoming increasingly cynical and building walls between myself and the world.

All I want for Christmas...

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 23:19:53 +0000

Dear Santa, I have been a good bloke this year.. Kindly review and revert…

Images do not belong to me…… unfortunately…

#30daysOfTruth: Day 0

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:38:37 +0000

I told The Friend I wanted something to occupy me all December….Bar the first two weeks of December - when I get to wrap up multiple work projects - I will be lazing around on an extended holiday… She knows I have a thing for writers… and writing…. and that I’m more comfortable writing stuff than saying stuff… So we thought I’d blog every day for sixty days.. First thirty will be following the 30 days of truth meme over at Hope Blog; the next thirty… I’m yet to decide… Hopefully, its therapeutic…. Even I am slightly concerned at what I might see when I begin to dig beneath the surface of me….

Why there's only a 5% chance I'll make it to church today..

Sun, 28 Nov 2010 09:35:31 +0000

The Big Freeze hits…. [Pics included]

Sigh….

A Modicum of Regret..

Sat, 27 Nov 2010 23:57:54 +0000

One of my essential life principles is never allowing myself to exercise regret. Time and time again, when decisions appear in hindsight to have been poorly thought out, I try to prevent myself from slipping into regret mode.. I am of the opinion that time spent in regret analysing the what-might-have-beens would be better served breaking the problem into smaller bits and devising a means of resolving its constituents. Recently though, I have allowed that tightly held principle to slip from my grasp.

Links: 26 Nov 2010

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 22:01:47 +0000

More on cheating in Universities… A statistical approach at the University of Central Florida
The many uses of Facebook - Oo..
Another reason to dissolve a marriage? Religious differences.. Sigh…
Wanna ’live’ forever? Enter the bluetooth enabled e-tomb.
Indonesia’s the world’s biggest Twitter users?
Getting the girl is all in the angle of the tilt..
Football by biting... Wonder what the bloke was thinking though..

Links: 19 Nov 2010

Fri, 19 Nov 2010 18:33:49 +0000

6 years on - the 66 year old woman who gave birth to a kid.. Selfish? Playing God or a real chance for re-inventing life? ..
Celebonomics.. Why you’re not famous..
Con artist.. Not Nigerian.. Gasp!
Another take on the homoepathy debate.. Apparently the talk not the tincture is what works.
The danger of desensitization - The daily telegraph’s Geoffrey Leon compares BP’s Gulf disaster to Chernobyl.
Ghost writers.. A shadow scholar ‘bares’ all..
Ultimate gadget? Or quirky? The remote control + pillow combo…
Google street view - weight loss tip..
Apparently its not only Nigerian cops who are camera shy..
The demise of marriage? Or just a blip.. Time ponders the relevance of marriage

Unlearning solitude....

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 21:21:52 +0000

Or an apology for all the nights you worry about me…..

One of my mother’s slightly more compelling arguments against the notion of - in her words - entrenched singleness is the false simplicity that being single and responsible for only oneself brings. Over the past ten years I have learnt to do my things, my way and in my time - considering the consequences only as they impact me. That has been useful when I have had to make potentially life changing decisions - like quitting my day job at a fairly well known engineering firm to head back to full time study in 2008 or loaning a friend a hefty pile of money (which he is vacillating on paying back by the way). Mother is wrong on one count - my being single isn’t the only cause; there is after all my natural proclivity to be a loner of sorts. Perpetually plugged into my iPod, having my nose stuck in books, emailing and SMSing friends instead of calling have all contributed to my increasingly tenuous connections with the real world. Living alone for all those years hasn’t helped either.

On Repeat....

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 04:10:32 +0000

Recently rediscovered via the wonderful gift of shuffle on my iPod…

Links: 12 Nov 2011

Fri, 12 Nov 2010 18:03:49 +0000

More reason to be careful about your twitter activity - The twitter ‘joke’ that’s been blown out of proportion..
iPhone apps that could save your marriage?
The mean gene.: apparently one in four people have this gene..
Taking email (and the internet too seriously)…
Laptops and male fertility.. Interesting piece over at Wired Science…
Another take on the Yahoo vs Gmail argument…Gmail appears to be inherently ‘safer’.. (HT Trae Days)
Interesting take on the Marine Corps, Appearance and Tradition over at The Art of Manliness..
Ribadu is interviewed on the Economist’s Africa blog.
Amazon briefly lists the inappropriately named ‘The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover’s Code of Conduct’ before bowing to pressure and taking it down..
Skype wedding? The possibilities are endless… (HT The Daily Dish)

For more than my belly...

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 23:52:48 +0000

Almost on a whim, I signed up to sponsor a child via World Vision. The decision was taken without much thought whilst passing through the Mall at Union Square. November 11th is a special day in the RustGeek household; its the day the patriarch and the matriarch completed their nuptials as well as the day the one we lost to the genes was born. In the part of the world where I am, it is also Remembrance day.

For Gracie...

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 11:11:52 +0000

For Gracie, who the genes took…

You never saw the thirteenth summer through- before the genes claimed you.

You always were - the sallow one, knuckle- kneed, paper thin, but - the lights in your jaundiced eyes shone: through pain and fear, and hope and tears.

The strength in your voice never dimmed, never waned, until the genes - like a belligerent marabout’s curse - turned you, to a mound of red- dead earth

Memories of a city...

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 21:12:23 +0000

The difference is clear - the first few blasts of slightly warm air as I step out of onto the tarmac are the clearest reminder that I have left my small town’s five degree weather behind for at least a couple of days. It is a year almost to the day since I last passed through London - that blatantly self centred and most cosmopolitan of cities - and as usual I feel ill at ease. Blame my small town mentality - in the little corner of the world where I grew up, every one knew every one else and their grand mother.. and their second cousins twice removed. One was as likely to get whupped by the bloke down the street who felt you were up to no good as you were by your own father..

Winter's first blows, 2010 and other random thoughts...

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 19:39:34 +0000

Winter has struck its first tentative blows - two successive days last week we woke up to see our world carpeted with a thin layer of snow. Karla - Benny’s wife who has lived all her life in this town - swears that this is the first time she’s seen snow fall in October. Considering last winter was one in which several firsts going back thirty years were bested, that singular piece of news leaves one with a sense of dread. Those who should know better also swear by their instruments that this will be yet another long, hard, harsh winter. In anticipation - and I should add as usual - the gas and power suppliers are inching the rates upwards. Not since 2008 has there being such a significant hike in prices. Predictably there is discontent at huge profits, pay for executives and other such perceived signs of exploitation in the face of price rises. One paper goes as far as saying ‘Christmas will be ruined’ - for an annual average increase of a princely seventy pounds or 67.2 bottles of Becks premium lager…. The days when we bemoaned twenty-six degree weather seem so far away now..

Lessons learned...

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 20:27:16 +0000

A bloke can do no worse than believe his own hype…

Sigh.

On Repeat: Josh Wilson

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 19:18:41 +0000

Currently on repeat: Josh Wilson - Before the morning…

Web Reads....

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 19:50:34 +0000

Texas in Africa gives a clear cut example of how correlation is not causation but notes the difficulties involved in finding the distinction in real life contexts…

The distinction between causation and correlation - and the obsession with making sure the two are not confused - sets quality research apart from shoddy or sloppy research. It’s incredibly frustrating to me to read a hastily put-together advocacy report or journalist’s account that assumes correlation means causation, despite the lack of evidence for such a claim. I understand why it happens; advocates and journalists have to work quickly, and if they talk to people who don’t understand the difference, how would they know otherwise? But it’s incredibly frustrating to see these errors made, especially when they lead to bad policy decisions.

The week of going meatless....

Sun, 24 Oct 2010 20:07:38 +0000

I survived the week of going meatless… Needless to say, I’ll not be repeating it anytime soon.

Sigh..

Sun, 24 Oct 2010 00:11:44 +0000

Sighing, is all I can do….. Fantasy Queen and Adia said it all.. :(

Stuff About Some Women I still Don't Understand..

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 22:10:45 +0000

Things about some women I still don’t understand…..

How they manage to go from hag to wag in twenty short minutes on bus 23: Each day I get on the bus, I am treated to a minor miracle. The ladies - and they are the same ‘offenders’ in the main - unfailingly whip out their boxes and mirrors and get to work. Within the space of a short bus ride, the transformation is complete. Several brushes, colours and peeks in the mirror later, they are virtually unrecognizable. Just why that couldn’t be achieved at home before hopping on the bus beats me hollow though.
Why odd coloured shoes make it into the aso-ebi list: Last April, I was hounded well nigh to death by purple shoes. Thing was a good friend of mine had to keep up appearances attend some function - the specifics of which escape me. The clothes were done and dusted - only problem was that purple shoes were required. It just so happened that purple shoes were out of stock in all the shops she knew to check, and yours truly was called upon to devise a solution. Needless to say I failed woefully - not through lack of effort as I even went the distance of setting up a conference call just for them shoes - but due to the sheer absurdity of the choice of colour. My theory is that the first women who had aso-ebi’s had major shares in a shoe manufacturer and chose odd colours so that the shoes could not be re-used thereby guaranteeing increased revenues!
Why some people think lime-green eyeliner works on their ebony-black face: Whilst quickly looking through lounging on amebobook the other day, I stumbled on a picture of some random chic with lime-green eyeliner. You know how a friend of a friend comments on a picture and amebobook somehow manages to put them onto your news feed in all their gory glory - that was it. Granted it was in the spirit of the Nigerian Independence celebrations, and people had to pretend to be patriotic by wearing green-ish stuff, but surely there were mirrors at home… and in the rare event of there not being mirrors, friends and family could have alerted said chic to the incongruity of the eye-liner?
How they manage to still feign surprise over stuff they knew would happen anyways: The ladies at MO Corp have banded themselves into some sort of fraternity. Ladies-only lunches, baby club discussions (at my desk no less), and the ‘official’ baby shower for the pregged ladies on their last day of work. Its all well and good to have baby showers - great pizza, us blokes get to leave a wee bit early on a Friday and all, but I never can quite get over the false sense of surprise them ladies seem to muster. I mean, its standard practice that you’ll get a baby shower. Expect it, and spare us the excessive oohs ahhhs, and the drama! arghhh…
Why you wear ‘six’ inch heels to church and then take them off midway through the service: I am an ‘apostle’ of functionality which is why them ladies who wear six inch heels and then take them off midway leave me worried. Surely, the shoes can’t be so uncomfortable that they can’t stay on for two and a half hours only?
Why you manage to tear up ever so freely in church: Every time I get the misfortune of being sat next to a particular young lady in church, I groan inwardly. Problem is not that she’s got a massive dose of BO, but that she manages to contort her face in so many twists and turns that I’m left wondering if I am safe. 90% of the time, she’ll cry during the worship - often times that is the precise moment I am discreetly reviewing my twitter timeline, an indicator of just how bored with the whole experience I am. It really is just the worship right?I have a sneaky feeling, that it might be more than just the worship, perhaps she is remembering what Bro Okon did the night before…

Sigh…

Going Vegetarian..

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 20:50:00 +0000

The sudden realization, that it took me only a month and a half to fill a Nandos loyalty card has left me with a mixture of sadness and fear - sadness at the sheer number of chicken that have lost their lives to feed my lust for peri-peri chicken, and fear at what those loads of chemical laced proteins is doing to my innards… So for a week - to pacify my conscience, i will eat vegetarian only… That will be difficult because my early morning bacon sandwich and coffee from Sainsbury, my company paid bacon/egg/mushroom roll on Fridays, and all the other good meaty stuff I live for will get tossed out.. Healthy eating was one of the four critical categories for 2010, I need to get a jump on it….

On repeat.....

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 08:30:44 +0000

We still await the promised Lauryn Hill rebirth….. I’ve had these two on repeat all day……

Can’t take my eyes off of you

Tell Him

Stuff I will not miss about NCT..

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 18:33:14 +0000

Broken lifts - gave me free exercise but thirteen flights of steps went a wee bit too far…
Empty bottles, spilled liquids and much more in the lifts when they actually worked….
Extra rowdy football crowds - if only they actually won something…..
Jehovah’s Witnesses proselytizing - oh and they offered to come back…
Mr Landlord - who smoked in the house, once decided to remodel the bath on a Monday morning and was generally a pain in the nether regions….
Attempted murder just across the road and in broad daylight too…
A notorious park within the neighborhood…
Hate messages scrawled on freshly painted walls, and scratched on lift doors….
Raised eyebrows when I give my post code at the GP…
Regular police fliers in the mail requesting information on crimes committed in the neighborhood……

Ten months after making the move up north - and opting to go the cheap route to stay in the vicinity of a council flat - I’m finally moving houses… Its good to be moving on…. If I can only get the heating and the internet to work.. ..

YNWA

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 17:06:05 +0000

After a long running saga, Liverpool FC was finally sold to another set of Americans.. NESV principal and the new club owner , John W Henry, had this to say so us ’long suffering’ fans…

All I can say at this point is we’re going to work as hard for you as we possibly can and there’s no doubt about it, you deserve it. You have supported this club through the worst of times now and we’re going to do everything in our power to make the supporters proud of their club and of us. It’s a big challenge but I think we’re up for that challenge.

Opinion: Gladwell, Twitter and the Nigerian Angle...

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 20:51:51 +0000

In perhaps one of those quirks of timing - which make me wonder if indeed the world is ‘run’ by someone with an almost Machiavellian sense of mirth - Malcolm Gladwell’s New Yorker piece on social media hit the blogosphere a few days after twitter was leading the way in breaking news of bomb blasts during Nigeria’s 50th year anniversary celebrations. True to type, the response to his article has been immediate and extensive, but largely critical. I suspect that this is to be expected - most people who would write a blog, or tweet, or use foursquare would feel personally chastised by the words that Gladwell offered.

Of unintended consequences...

Sat, 09 Oct 2010 06:03:58 +0000

Sometimes even the best laid plains falter- tripped up by the most mundane of details which to the planner were irrelevant. What then can we do but stoically shrug, and move on to the next one….

When things unplanned lead to desired- yet unintended- consequences we must also hail our good fortune and take the chance proffered with both hands. It was Leonard Ravenhill who said:

’the opportunity of a lifetime must be harnessed in the lifetime of the opportunity’….

Summer's end, chicken fajitas and cuts at the BEEB

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 06:48:00 +0000

Only the most deluded of persons would deny that summer is well and truly over. Not only does it feel quite chilly, the trees also think so. Hyde park, which by much squinting I can just see from my 13th floor window at MO Corp, is covered in a layer of browns, reds, golds and the odd green patch crafted by fallen leaves as the trees acknowledge autumn. The sun on the odd occasion it manages to peek from behind the dull clouds seems weak, tired and offers no real warmth. Moments like these are those which fill me with a misplaced sense of nostalgia. Mercifully, I have my fleece with me as I head off to lunch with the team from work.

A Fisherman's Invocation..

Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:30:25 +0000

Source

Written in response to the prompt of the week at Writer’s Island….

Gin poured on earth - Salt water, five lobed kola nuts With palm wine. White loincloth over Bare skin, white cockerel held Over head spun- Seven times, Till faint.

Water, waist high Dirty brown infused with oil – Coloured sheen. Orange plumes belch- ing black smoke;

*Yemanja, the fish have fled; The mangrove swamps have become A deathbed. There is no fresh fish - Pepper soup, no cassava plants Left unshrivelled; No respite From the stench of putrefying life.

Homeward...

Sun, 19 Sep 2010 09:17:00 +0000

A wry smile plays on my lips as the ‘Angel of the North’- that behemoth that towers over the North East - comes into view. It is the one landmark that definitively asserts that I am back ‘home’. It is akin to a familiar tree ensconced at the junction of multiple roads whose stump - weather beaten, fire scarred, sometimes hacked for firewood - remains indelible, unmoved, an un-poured libation to the gods to whom we as restless travelers owe our protection. I consider this city a spiritual home of sorts for me - much like Bombay in Gregory David Roberts’ Shantaramis to his character. I came here at a time of great personal turmoil in several areas of my life - and I like to think the two great years I spent here set me on the path to redeeming my life.

Questions..... For *Ella

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 22:08:14 +0000

Do misty eyes mean Pain festering deep Lean souls starved - Hope blithely crushed And purloined?

Do memories mean Wounds left raw, rubbed sore, Chafed red - careless promises Blown away like ripples on a lake by a belligerent hurricane?

Do clasped hands hide scars And wry smiles hide gloom

Overdue Holidays, Reading and a Pilgrimage of sorts...

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 18:26:00 +0000

“If I have to see the insides of yet another heat exchanger, I just might quit”.

So said I to Annie - the intern who assists me at MO Corp - mainly in jest, but with more than just a threat of burnout hovering just beneath the surface. It has been thirty-seven straight weeks of working without a break; thirty-seven weeks of mind numbing, brain frying, geek stuff. It hasn’t helped that I have been largely unable to unburden my mind by reading; unable to let myself loose to indulge in the art of imagination as prompted by others more accomplished than myself.

Running Back to You

Sun, 12 Sep 2010 09:16:33 +0000

Stumbled on Heather Headley’s cover of a well known (at least to chaps from my age) Commissioned song.. Still love it!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6DRkPGs8pc]

Weather, Bus trips and an absence of reading.

Sat, 11 Sep 2010 16:06:00 +0000

Out here, they say summer lasts one day, and no its not Midsummer’s day. That claim - entirely anecdotal mind you - has been made with surprising regularity by quite a few of the cab drivers I have had the opportunity to chat with while commuting to work. One cab driver even offered a quasi-scientific explanation, the town is surrounded by highlands on one side and the North Sea on the other which explains the bi-polar behaviour of the weather. Yesterday it was a windy 8 degrees, the day before a summery 14 degrees, today its rained bucket loads of water. The locals have quit bothering - they merely shrug and quiescently suggest tomorrow will be a better day.

Musings: Handwritten Notes.

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 22:00:04 +0000

It is the age of the internet - email, Facebook, Twitter, Hi5, MySpace, Instant Messaging and even SMS have contrived to depersonalize our communication. These days, my default mode of communication is electronic. I often reach first to my twitter account to send a direct message (DM) to my closest buddies, or then an email - and shock of all shocks - a phone call as a last resort. Growing up, hand written notes were the apogee of communication, especially between guys and girls. We went to great lengths to procure the right paper, practiced our cursive hand writing and parodied the writings of the likes of Shakespeare to present the right impression.

Resolutions: The (almost) Mid-Year Edition

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:10:52 +0000

What I need to do to have had a successful year…..

Deliver an updated website for the Church Media Team
Complete my 2010 reading list
Deliver my two ‘main’ work projects for the year
Visit my H-town peep..

Not too much to ask I guess!!!

Happiness

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:01:03 +0000

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLGlMbi7w3g]

via @GoodPlanet

Randoms.

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 05:27:32 +0000

This week I:

Learned that I’m still irritated by text speak and mixed up grammar - when I am not the one dishing them out. Having a supposedly ‘serious’ conversation with someone highlighted this very clearly to me.
Learned that the expression ‘appearances are deceptive’ may sound cliche but it can be really true. I have just had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine which segued into territory I never knew she had loads of experience in.
Finally got to cross out one more book from my reading list. Kite Runner was sad, engaging and provided an insight into the Afghanistan situation - almost Chris Abani-ish. I loved the hint of redemption in the final scenes.
Received a non work related handwritten note for the first time in close to six or seven years, on scented paper no less. The hand writing was horrible, but the gesture was well appreciated by me.
Became an Uncle, then a God father twice - all within three days of each other. My littlest sister, and two very close friends all conspired to deliver babies within three days of each other, and my birthday. None of them shares the day with me though. Talk about bad timing!
Saw new evidence that convinces me I live in my head - which is well insulated from the world. I went another week without getting angry, happy, sad or feeling any other strong emotion.I think I need for someone to get under my skin enough to make me exhibit strong emotions. That would convince me I am still connected to the world and not in my own cocoon.
Got assigned a fancy new title at work - its one of those ones that is as long as your arm, but means absolutely nothing to my pay packet. Tsk! Tsk!
Watched two interesting TED Talks - Dan Cobley on What physics can teach us about marketing and Ethan Zuckerman on Listening to Global voices.
Acted totally out of character and reached out to someone I would never ever have connected with previously - oh and it was truly altruistic.. at least in my head.
Averaged three and a half hours of sleep per night all week - so not good!

Off to the comfort of my duvet now.. :)

An intrepid fishman, I

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:30:01 +0000

I registered for the City’s Learn to Swim program - today was the D-day, Day One of the training sessions.

Considering it was my first time in the pool for a long time, and I retain an almost pathological fear for water, I think I did ok. Granted I swallowed a fear gulps of the pool water, filled my ears with it, and generally made a nuisance of myself.

There are positives though- I am certainly not the worst of my batch, there are a few other Nigerians to alleviate any feeling of lostness, and the instructor adds a whole new dimension to the definition of hilarious. The one downside is there are no beautiful women- just flat chested, keg bellied blokes like yours truly.

Musings: Male/Female Duets...

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 23:55:57 +0000

They say life is about simple pleasures - everyday things which we are wont to make light of - which taken together serve to generate an ambience of normalcy around us. Each week, I will attempt to identify one simple thing I have grown to delight in… from my otherwise uninteresting life.

When the subject of music, and my taste with regards to it comes up, I always declare unequivocally that my taste is eccletic. In the past week for instance, I have listened to Eminem, Donnie McClurkin, the Backstreet Boys, Kenny G and today Heather Headley.

For the First Time....

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:19:06 +0000

I’m finding myself increasingly enchanted by The Script….

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLJv57zE2To]

15x08d9.....

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 00:38:30 +0000

To new beginnings… and hope that when tomorrow comes the sun will shine…

Selah..

Nostalgia: The summer that almost was

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 19:46:20 +0000

The Script’s Break Even just came on the radio, and as usual it brought back memories. In the main they are somewhat pleasant memories, even though the lyrics to the song are particularly sad.

Capital FM played the song ad nauseum last summer, and in a way it became the signature tune for that summer of my life - blighted by so many could haves and would have s. Summer started ok; my days being filled with the boringly mind numbing task of completing my dissertation. In between, I threw in attending a wedding across the Atlantic in Houston, planning my move back to my old Nigerian job and being very good friends with TheB. Capital FM was my constant companion at the time, as I stayed awake into the wee hours of the morning slogging things out. In an uncanny way, it seemed the song became a self fulfilling prophecy - Bisi and I never progressed beyond the friends zone, the Nigerian job fell through, and I missed a first on my degree….

Globalisation?

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 22:48:56 +0000

Sitting in the boardroom at KOX Corp today i realised its truly a global village.

Technical Manager - Scottish; Project Manager - South African; Me - Naija Boy; Integrity Engineer - Mexican; Technical Assistant - Pakistani; Client Rep - German.. It doesn’t get more global, does it?

Beannachd Leat

.......... for Ella*

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 20:57:08 +0000

I walked away- with your face stolen from a crowded room……….. Now you are on my skin, in my mouth - and hair as if you were always woven in my walk…

Yusef Komunyakaa said it much better than I could ever say…

What I have been listening to....

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 19:22:31 +0000

Mary J Blige’s Stronger and Carlos Whittaker’s God of Second Chances

Busy as a bee....

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:49:36 +0000

I have been busy. I have spent the last couple of weeks up to my ears in work. No fault of mine - mind you - but yet another unusual turn of events has meant that I have been thrust into the eye of the storm at a new project. Needless to say, it is keeping with the over arching theme of my life - getting lucky breaks when i least expect them, or even deserve them. Two blokes overseeing proceedings on behalf of my firm at a prized client between them contrived to move on - one to pastures new, and the other to the ignominy of summary dismissal. I, the only available bloke, has thus been thrust in, in a moment, at the deep end. Truth be told, the tasks at hand are quotidian at best - ordinary run of the mill things that I in my field should be able to handle without batting an eyelid. The only dark cloud on the bright blue skies however is the sheer amount of paper work that yours truly has to sift through. There are mitigating circumstances - for the first time in seven years of slaving for various employers in three jobs and three continents, I am the only male member of a predominantly female work group. Truth be told, the ladies are fabulous to work with - friendly, a wee bit too chatty, but great company all the same. Throw in occasional gifts of a home made sandwich, and free lunch on the company and it is an excellent situation for my bachelor instincts. All in all, it looks like it is shaping up to be a grand few weeks… and then we roll out the champagne..

What I really meant was....

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 08:14:43 +0000

Via XKCD:

Ctrl+Alt+Del

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 17:49:48 +0000

To a worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish -

- Yiddish saying via Malcolm Gladwell

Second chances - clean sheets wiped clear from all the smudges, memories obliterated, people lost in the maelstrom of life - are great… If only they were as easy as Ctrl+Alt+Del…. Sigh.

Phew.. finally its over...

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 04:25:02 +0000

Thankfully this week is over, finally. Its been a maelstrom of activity - two client work sites, hand overs, reviews and piles of stuff to catch up with. The worst bits had to be the getting set up bits - setting up remote access to my company email and network, new log on IDs and network access at the new place and all - plus there’s a first review in five weeks of stuff I was never involved in.

What I Learned Since July 10, 2009..

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 17:40:43 +0000

What I learned since July 10, 2009

The whole “every disappointment is a blessing” is cliche 9 times out of 10 - the one occasion it is not more than makes up for all the other times…
Above a certain level of pay, autonomy and a sense of truly contributing are the most important considerations for job satisfaction….. for me..
People usually mean well when they try to commiserate - most of the time they just need to shut the fuck up.
Brooke Fraser’s Shadowfeet is the coolest song ever….
Every bloke needs a bizzle - the one chic who has the guts to give it to you straight from the hips ( no double etendre there). It’s always helpful to get your ego brought down a notch or two.
The ladder theory works - however sad - blokes just need to get with the program.
Female bosses are so not it - woe betide you if you have a Technical review when its that time of the month - red ink everywhere… sigh..

Free Food's great...

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 06:27:14 +0000

Free food is great, especially when you are a confirmed bachelor with an aversion for cooking. I’m sure if my pots and pans have a choice they would vote to have me back in their next ’lives’. Such is the ease of their lives! Providence must have decided to be kind to me though, as a few hours after complaining of feeling listless I got a phone call from my work buddy O to head off to the beach. He and I have an inside joke where I hail him as my mentor and he says I’m much too old to be mentored by him, and considering the boring lives we lead, hanging out is always a plus. Fast forward a few hours and we head off to the beach where we go to this Chinese buffet thingy at Jimmy Chung. Two huge cokes, lamb ribs, some curried rice and soup later, we could belch with satisfaction at a great days work - all for nine pounds. I should definitely do this again!

Heatwave Dividends...

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:16:45 +0000

Twenty-six degree weather has its perks - especially when one has valid reasons to be within the city centre. Knee length skirts, low necklines, and the occasional sleeveless top are easy on the eye, if not downright encouraging to a mind beaten to senility by spreadsheets and excess coffee. After choosing the worst winter in 20 years to come up to the NorthEast, I can be forgiven for reveling in the warm - almost barmy - weather. Winter was mind numbing, depressing, tiring, and fun sapping. I really wouldn’t be bothered by the excess skin on display, but being stuck in a nearly all male working environment does things to the mind, especially when there is no relief valve to vent it out on in town. I’m so needing to get a holiday men - dang!

Celebrating the Debacle...

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:08:44 +0000

One of the more creative jokes about England’s demise at the World Cup I’ve seen so far…..

Musings: Quotes

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 21:58:40 +0000

When in doubt, discretize….

- Probably the most important thing I never learnt

Lea Salonga..

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 05:37:18 +0000

I just heard this song.. and it blew me away.. Lea Salonga’s One Voice..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT5E7LMu2ks]

World Cup 2010 - Lessons (un) Learned

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:26:49 +0000

A moment of rashness by a certain Sani Kaita will go down as the defining moment of Nigeria’s World Cup - when the tenuous grip of one hundred and fifty million people was savagely hacked off. At that time Nigeria was 1-0 up - thanks to a somewhat fortuitous goal – and had largely being untroubled by the Greeks who had been pedestrian all through. The rest, as they say, is history and Greece went on to win to put Nigeria’s world cup dreams effectively on hold for four more years.

On the kinship of the Prodigal

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 05:51:23 +0000

Long before I segued into the way of all flesh, I had always had a sense of connection with the Prodigal Son. In these dark days when my faith vacillates between the highs of unquestioning belief and the depths of blatant scepticism with the increasingly longer spells of being mired in the drudgery of self deprecating musing, I find myself drawn to the text again and again. Something about the lost son finally coming to himself, realizing there is a better life, a better way of doing stuff resonates with me. I fear I am lost, that somehow I have eaten so long of the hors d’œuvres of the beguiling tempter that his full feast of bitter gall is an ineluctable consequence. Trust me I have tried; but the overwhelming sense of guilt at the bloke I have become weighs me down. Like the proverbial swine given pearls, I appear to have taken world class opportunities and contrived to lose them amidst the quotidian pursuits of the good life.

A fitting end..

Fri, 21 May 2010 22:45:28 +0000

To a fabulous week that is…..

It is 11.41pm, and I am as clear eyed as I can be. I have just returned from the Muyiwa & Riversongz concert. It was fab, If I say so. Apparently the concert was designed to signal the commissioning of a ‘gospel’ choir in the city. The music was great all round - a throwback to my days back in University as an undergrad. Surprise, surprise, the bloke who leads the choir was also quite an active bloke on that same campus and was involved in plotting planning various musical events campus wide. The added benefits of catching up with blokes number 10 and 11 (the numbers refer to the number of close friends and acquaintances I have been re-united with since I made the move across the Atlantic) was fab and far outweighed any misgivings I might have had about shelling out 10 pounds to attend (and the 10 pounds I paid for a CD/DVD of Muyiwa’s album.)

Six degrees and summer plans.

Sun, 16 May 2010 18:08:15 +0000

They say its a small world - and that everyone is connected to every one else by at most six people. Today I learned that first hand. My friend K has mentioned in the past that she’s got a sister in my town. Today I finally worked up the nerve had the opportunity to talk with her a bit (if talk can occur in 25 secs that is). Thing is K and I have some history of sorts - its one of those online collaborations which segued into an occasional offline chat and all. So when K’s sister asked how I knew K, I was a bit stumped.. Turns out there is another bloke, a T this time, who is mutual friends with K and I (again that undefined, web 2.0 kind), his name jumped out as the basis of my knowing K.. Turns out T also has a sister in my town, and in my church.. Cue the hems and ahh as to her I knew her brother - the official line was we ‘worked on a project together’.. That’s what I’m sticking with though.. Fingers crossed that the meeting ends up forgotten (or at least the bit about me knowing their siblings), else I’ll be having loads of explaining to do.. :)

Ponderings...

Fri, 14 May 2010 19:06:38 +0000

I’ve spent the last few months probing - looking to find a rationale for blogging that is not inextricably connected to feeding the over arching desire of my inner narcissist to be heard above the din that is the blogosphere….

2009 was different…. I followed over 1,000 blogs, I bounced from blog to blog leaving comments, there was banter, there was drama, there was poetry on a level I’d only dreamed of, there were blog collabos…. and a few crushes…. My old favorites were still around, and a few newbies served up delicious stuff… Oh.. the Anons spiced things up too…

A blast of Nostalgia..

Sun, 09 May 2010 05:20:17 +0000

I miss the old days. Growing up on a University campus in Nigeria, books were my salvation and the BBC World Service was the information source. We didn’t have decent television (it was an archaic black and white National television set with aerials that never worked), didn’t have the internet, was the weird kid on the block, and generally stuck out like a sore thumb. I got my nose in books, the bulk of which were boring, ponderous, academic reads.

The Idiot's guide to...... Looking busy!

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 11:12:38 +0000

When you bill per the hour, looking busy is of paramount importance… The criticality of this black art is never more obvious than when you sit in full view of the Oga and can ill afford to be found playing solitaire, surfing the internet mindlessly, blogging, or God help you - being nabbed on ogling the goodies on offer on Page 3. Below are the top tips I have gleaned from the best – trust me I’ve learned from the very best - a stellar cast of international pedigree..

Spare me some nostalgia...

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 03:26:55 +0000

I think things tend to look either worse off or better off in retrospect.. There must be a technical term for that - like nostalgia bias, or retrospection bias or warreva… (Help me out one of you psychologists)… Bottom line is i think when we look back at the past, we either think its much better than it actually was, or much worse…. I just had such a moment.. Thankfully, Me the pragmatist won - eventually….. Blame insomnia, the wacky DJ over at Capital FM, and nostalgia….

Seventh Time around.

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:59:00 +0000

They say a righteous man falls seven times but rises up again. I don’t know about being righteous, but I sure have had falls, hopefully this is the seventh, in which I finally get to find me. The pieces of the life are coming together again, I’ve resolved my long standing ‘fight’ with my sister, I got great feedback on my first three months in a new role, I’ve made two great friends in my new city and I’ve started running thrice a week :) I have a lot to be thankful for, this is a new journey (hopefully). Welcome aboard.

30 is the real cool.....

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 06:37:20 +0000

Despite what the preponderance of mid-life crises and suicides around the 30 year age bracket would suggest, 30’s the new cool - and that for a variety of reasons.

For starters, people take you serious by default. In your teens they know you’ll faff around, in your twenties they’ll assume you’re growing and the occasional gaffe can be excused. In your 30’s they actually believe you know what you are about until you goof. Ain’t that uber-cool?
You get pimped for free. Depending on how far gone you are on the continuum, every one want to match make you. The best friend from University wants to hook you up with a niece, your cousins want to hitch you with friends and all that ish. Downside is it generally tends to rub you the wrong way - but hey who cares? They’re concerned.. That’s why!
All the unmarried chics from earlier on for whom you had crushes suddenly see you as a serious option especially if you have made good on the success your geekery promised as a precocious teenager. Chances are you’re so clueless around women that you do not have a baby mama in the background, which seems to be a huge plus these days..
Chances are you have a strand of gray hair here and there - and true to type if you wear glasses, you actually look cool (gasp). You, the sore-thumb-sticking-out-almost-worwor-bloke, suddenly has the desirable features of respectability.
Last but not the least, you actually have ten more years to play the fool - after all a fool at forty is a fool forever, but not before :)

Dodgy TV Adverts..

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 03:17:08 +0000

You know you need help - from mindlessly watching TV - when TV ads start getting to you. In my defense, these two have to be up there with the worst ads I’ve ever seen! Enjoy..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_-9QFvhQWo]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXiJBp7HK5o]

I guess they work by catching one’s attention, even if only by irritating one..

Trading Places..

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 04:40:42 +0000

I still go read this - over a year after it was originally posted…..

An epilogue of sorts......

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 02:46:45 +0000

I have begun dreaming of things best left unsaid, things best left to gently slide into oblivion far beyond the edge of consciousness. Here there are voices, and fleeting faces, floating by as though swimming in some nebulous unseen ether. I would blame malaria or the slew of unknown brews at Dame Hayatou’s, but these are things I have seen in the flesh - less the twisting, less the turning in the dead of night and the turmoil that brings them back to mind. These are the memories of a not so distant past, of what-ifs and maybes and could-haves blatantly refusing to accept the cold hard facts..

Get your 'Pee' on..

Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:24:51 +0000

A fascinating history of peeing…. Apparently Mahatma Ghandi drank it regularly… http://www.neatorama.com/2010/04/08/bizarre-facts-about-pee/#more-30566

Yay..

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 05:07:06 +0000

The first quarter performance review was short and sweet - I think… The recovery is under way.. Now we need to secure it… (as Gordon Brown likes to put it)

Help.....

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 12:17:55 +0000

The association of married and pregnant women holds its meetings twice a week. I don’t have a problem with that, except for the minor fact that they unfailingly decide to set up camp across the room from my pod at work. No, my character has not being impugned in any way - I am neither responsible, nor even remotely implicated, but their choice of venue riles me…

The topics covered are varied, but time after time they settle on being pregnant and being hot…… They can be excused - the oldest of them is twenty-six and they’re all first timers.. looking to work as long as possible before they hit the motherhood trail…. For the hour they meet, all we get to hear is trimesters, weight gain, gym routines for pregnant women… and a whole slew of designers I’ve never heard of…

The Grass is Always Greener...

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 21:49:11 +0000

Barry Schwartz, writing in The Paradox of Choice makes a compelling argument - to my mind - for cutting down the options.. One paragraph on the subject of life and partners grabbed my attention.

.. inevitably, you will find people who are younger, better looking, funnier, smarter, or seemingly more understanding and empathetic than your wife or husband. But finding a life partner is not a matter of comparison shopping and ’trading up’. The only way to find happiness and stability in the presence of seemingly attractive and tempting options is to say, “I’m simply not going there'

On Memories...

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:46:46 +0000

It is not what is lost that hurts the most, It is the thing that takes its place -

- Jerome Kugan (The Myth of Displacement)*

I say the things that try to take the place of what is lost - yet fail to do so, or even come close - are what hurt the most. They bring back memories…..which often are more legend than reality - the perfect bloke he never was, the doting girl she never would have been, the manipulating mofo everyone but you could see…..

Friday Night Blues..

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:31:09 +0000

HT: XKCD

The 'Case' for Smoking and Drinking...

Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:36:41 +0000

I have a theory…. The world would be a much better place if everybody smoked and drank together..

This is a finding that cuts across age, race and location… I have found it true - based on anecdotal evidence mind you. I have not quite acquired the cross gender data yet… but I suspect it still holds true….

The proof? The way people’s eyes light up when they share a smoke…You can almost feel the electricity of bonding as they exhale in unison.. The smoke from their nostrils blending into an upward swirl… especially if it is a shared stick… Or more.. The sense of fully belonging when beer bottles lose their contents… Men are never more equal than before the bottle… Stories of hurt, of pain overcome and of success unlimited are swapped with reckless abandon under the inebriation the lager induces…. I suspect people would trust their smoke buddies more than their priest..and given the news continuously breaking, I wouldn’t begrudge them the lager…

The only thing worse than boredom..

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:54:00 +0000

The only thing worse than boredom is routine. I find myself living each day like a dream - sleep, wake, eat, work and sleep - Waiting expectantly for the 3pm chime that alerts me to the impending freedom from boredom - and then the bus that takes me home.

Each day passes - sometimes like a bore, sometimes like a breeze - living for the weekend - and then the dread as the weekend ends - and the grind starts all over again. This is the life of me!

The Mother's Day Conundrum..

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:39:30 +0000

My Mother is my mother - so in theory, I should send her a gift for Mother’s Day - that’s a given, even if its only an extra long phone call :)

What worries me though - and this is all altruistic - is where the wives, the sister who is now a mother, the aunts and the girlfriends fit. The wife, or official girlfriend is a critical case in point; they are not your mother, and they usually do not have children who are old enough to get them gifts for the day - but they do have the influence and ability to make the day horrible for one….

If wishes were horses

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:57:38 +0000

If wishes were horses… I’d be out playing golf at the moment; not crunching numbers and telling lies giving expert advice to clients. This glorious sunshine is simply begging for a game of golf!

Sadly, I am neither kith nor kin to Dangote nor to Mutallab Snr; and my dear father (bless his overly patriotic heart) turned down the offer of a tenure at Bristol back in the day :(

Re: 2010

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:06:00 +0000

Coming into 2010, it was clear this was the year that could potentially make or break me. Coming off a mid-life crisis in 2009 a nasty break up in 2008 that was finally formalized in 2009, and major changes that seemed intent on tossing my well laid plans aside, I thought four things would be a small number of items to focus on - turns out even those four are a big ask.

The formula for a perfect wife..

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 07:50:32 +0000

A bride should be five years younger than her groom, should come from the same cultural background, and be the more intelligent of the pair if couples are to have a successful marriage, scientists have announced.

Apparently the critical difference in intelligence is 27%… leading to a 20% increase in the probability of a good marriage. Perhaps eHarmony can include these critical findings in their much vaunted Compatibility algorithm. I have already included them in my spreadsheet!

Once bitten...

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 18:23:00 +0000

Once bitten you’re smitten. I underestimated just how much this space means to me. I’ll be back.

On Life...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:17:14 +0000

I suspect…….

…… that beyond all the rhetoric; behind the superfluous arguments, the cynical barbs and the seemingly pragmatic fronts we put up; at its most prosaic, life is about the desire for acceptance, the illusion of autonomy and an ineluctable gravitation towards the certainty that safety brings - And we want to love, and be loved, inspite of our protestations to the contrary.

Sigh…

The cold March weather

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:14:42 +0000

The cold March weather is back, and that with a vengeance. I spoke too soon when I declared summer was here. Temperatures dipped to as low as 3 degrees centigrade today. Taking into account the high winds that accompanied the weather change, it must have felt like it was sub zero at some stage. My friend O and I practically shivered as we tried to grab lunch today. I hear snow even fell in the outskirts of town! More cold weather is forecast for the rest of the week into the weekend.. God help us o.. I’m sooo over the weather!

Cheesy smiles, Bullying, Spam and other randoms..

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:43:48 +0000

I suspect I am not the only one whose instinctive reation to the overly ebullient demeanour of sales people customer service assistants is to curl my fingers into a tight fist. I often want to punch them, so that the smile plastered on their face vanishes. They give me the impression of the legendary house rat - which I am told eats the skin off the feet, but aims a puff of air at the right time and place to dull the pain until it has had its fill of its victim’s feet! Thankfully, I am too lilly-livered to follow through my macabre thoughts with action - else I might be rotting in some jail on the grounds of causing grevious bodily harm.

Semper Eadem....

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 20:11:46 +0000

nothing really changes everything remains the same we are what we are till the day that we die

- Larry Norman

Two years ago Larry Norman passed…

Weekend Randoms...

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 07:53:19 +0000

And I am learning to say no I let out in the night A bitter or a hopeful voice

- Montserrat Abello

I’m currently reading “Dance the Guns to Silence” a collection of one hundred poems in memory of Ken Saro Wiwa and the Ogoni 8. So far so good, but the poem I like the most is ‘And I am Learning to Say No’ (from which the above quote comes) by Montserrat Abello - its short, simple, resigned and dare I say quietly defiant - which is how I like poems :). I found, thanks to google, some other works by her here. Perhaps I am drawn to it because in many ways toughening up, learning to say no to people, is one of the major failings I think I have had in my life.

What Mother Said...

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:21:12 +0000

Source

Shed Tears; Let pain like a malevolent fiend- Draw blood.

Let go; Let the waves of a melancholic nostalgia- Break you.

Pressure makes you whole again.

Blame Fear; Blame Pain, blame sorrow deep within- Still Sing.

Science Valentine..

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 22:26:50 +0000

HT: XKCD

Taking a break

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 22:07:00 +0000

In a way this blog has been great - it has forced me to focus on myself and actively strive to become better - and you the readers have been fabulous - encouraging, challenging and offering help too! I have a lot to be thankful for - I’ve come through a lot. Life has gotten so much more busy that I can’t keep up with this blog - and frankly I am running out of things to bitch about which is good. Will still be around - reading your blogs when I can steal the time!

Waiting for Bus 21...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:08:07 +0000

The evening breeze, cooled by the frigid NorthSea never fails to welcome me to this place. Nonedescript, marked only by a pole and a small 4x4 plaque, it can seem like Oya or her Viking consort Njord chose to channel their chilling breath through this spot. For 40 days now, I have had to endure the icy chill the wind brings. Sometimes it can feel like the wind reaches out an icy claw and grabs the heart, as though it would yank it out and leave me for dead.

Random musings...

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 06:09:05 +0000

So John Terry lost the England football captaincy - strange to me considering the quite public exploits of Sven Goran Ericksson and Mark Pallios back in the day; the recent activities of Avram Grant and the fact that none of the names being touted as Terry replacements have covered themselves in glory in the past. He should simply have listened to the Vera show - and stayed off the friend’s ex… The bloke in the pod next to mine at work says footballers count money in millions of pounds and sense in pence.. Haterade maybe.. But this list of top ten gaffes makes an intriguing read..

Re-learning me.

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:58:00 +0000

I am re-learning me - finding out there is a darker side; one that is afraid, that hurts and wants to hurt in return, that wants to run and hide, close my eyes and wake up to a whole new life. I fear it is a losing battle, years of building walls, insulating myself from the world and being the black sheep will not suddenly vanish.

I am re-learning me - I don’t like what I see!

What not to do on a Monday night..

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 19:23:27 +0000

This is ‘fiction’….

What not to do on a Monday night is to boil beans….. and having boiled it, to eat it with garri and loads of milk…. and sugar….. especially when you know you are lactose intolerant!

Yours truly fell foul of the law of commonsense.. and did all the above… As expected, the turbulence hit during the day.. cue squirming, frequent strolls to let bombshells fly off with reckless abandon in the more secluded regions of the work place, plus the occasional guided missile.. a well timed, low level release. Thankfully there was no presentation today or else Naija boy for mess up big time!

Living Dangerously...

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 10:34:56 +0000

Talent is the desire to practice…..It is that you love something so much that you are willing to make an enormous sacrifice and an enormous commitment to that, whatever it is – task, game, sport, what have you.

- Malcom Gladwell

Last year I closed out a fair bit of my plans - at least I was waaay above the average 12%. This year, I decided I would only do one thing - Live Dangerously.

TGIF..

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:36:00 +0000

TGIF… I get to stay awake till the wee hours of the morning without thinking about any repercussions!

The last bout of insomnia I have struggled with yielded dividends today. A solution that popped up duirng one of those nights sailed through at work today! And in a funny way, I am kinda sad that the insomnia faded significantly.. I miss the late night/ wee hours of the morning pleasure I had for a week :(

Randoms....

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:49:12 +0000

I had forgotten how to sing, Blame fear, blame pain, blame sorrow deep within;

I’ve had these two lines in my head all week. I might have read them somewhere…. Or they might be the opening lines of a poem I have to write…. the first salvo fired by my dark and weary muse….

I once thought I was doing very well in my attempt to understand women folk – clearly I was reading from the wrong manual…. Doesn’t help that this bloke has been out of action for over a year….nearly two in truth! That was some ill – advised move I tell you……

Three is the tipping point...

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:49:00 +0000

Three weeks in and a semblance of normalcy has descended… I know my way around town, I have my bus and rail passes in tow, and the confidence garnered from familiarity with the tasks in hand is steadily growing… The minus is its all open plan - and shirt/ ties except for Fridays, that goes totally against my grain.. I am surviving…. For that I am thankful..The way on from here is up! We’ve passed the tipping point.

Me, Insomniac

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 03:10:00 +0000

Hi, My name is theOOhj and I am an insomniac… And I have been this way for all of three years!

My friend agony aunt Titi asked me if it was physiological or psychological…..100% gibberish… plenty grammar.. All I know is that I can’t sleep…. and when I do manage to sleep I dream.. of different things.. people.. places…. events… and of her….. the one who chose to fade to black…. her voice is still etched in my mind’s ear like the striations of a fatigue crack.. and I am left with the questions.. the could haves, the would haves and the should haves…..Each day, I remind myself that it is over… dead… that we are done……but……

Re-educating me....

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:45:00 +0000

Every night when I sit across the room from him, eyes glued to the TV set trying to avoid the endless background information he has on every show on the BBC, the thought never fails to cross my mind that whoever runs the Universe has a queer sense of humour. In a way our lives are akin - I have been given a second chance to restart my life after a mid-life crisis of sorts; he has been given a second chance with a heart transplant…

(Almost) the first week

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:24:00 +0000

One week in and its already shaping up to be a hard long slog….Our honeymoon lasted exactly 4 hours and then it was me being thrust into the deep end…. Sub zero temperatures - the coldest winter in Scotland in fifty years - and a role that seems so much like a continuation of the one that I fled all those months ago - only more intense, only less margin for error.

If I did crushes.. this would be it...

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 03:37:36 +0000

If I did crushes, Bassey Ikpi would be it. I stumbled on some YouTube videos back in the day, but I never got to dig into them until a bout of extreme boredom got the better of me. The poem Homecoming is a precise distillation of all the various emotions being caught between two worlds generates in us. I totally loved it! Oh and she’s cute too…. :)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTcOWR3uc0E]

10 years on..

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 22:42:10 +0000

My Uncle Fred was the nearly black sheep of Mother’s side of the family. Bloke had all the women purring over him and he lived for the attention. As recently as the year 2000, he still left his plates on the table after eating and Mother would use him as an example of how not to behave.

It was to my utmost surprise therefore, that in the midst of a phone call with me, Uncle Fred excused himself to go stir some soup he was making! Uncle Fred and cooking are about as diametrically opposed as they come..

2010 - The Plan

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:54:00 +0000

Last year was about a laundry list - 20 things I wanted to get sorted by year’s end. I did Ok.. Never got to learn french and missed out on the distinction..This year I want to have focus areas - key directions in which my energies will be focused.

Career: Manage my transition to a new job/ new city; target getting confirmed on the job and a raise by year end.
God and Faith: Get back into the regular church thing - sort out my niggling God issues.
Weight and Health: Get a full physical exam - for info - and shed the excess weight sharp-ish.
Love and Loving: End my girl hiatus; actively get back into the meeting and friendship scene again.

One more, which doesn’t count as a specific goal I think, but which is needed nonetheless, is to toughen up. I fear for the past few years I have grown too soft, more altruistic than is necessary. 2010 is my year.. of living dangerously..

New Starts..

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:10:00 +0000

I thought long and hard about the ramifications, but I accepted nonetheless - I agreed to bring forward my start date by 60 days. Truth is the only other option was more sleeping, eating and waking - a totally quotidian experience.

The first day is January the 4th; for the first time in a long while I have to dress formally to work. Its totally against the grain of me - the lost, non-conformist son. The alternatives are not exactly great. I would rather have to wear a shirt and tie to work than to file away products in coveralls. For that I am thankful.

For Dennis Brutus..... 1924 -2009

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:17:51 +0000

Dennis Brutus - anti-aparthied activist, poet, professor and family man amongst others - passed on in his sleep today…. An excerpt from the family statement:

Dennis lived his life as so many would wish to, in service to the causes of justice, peace, freedom and the protection of the planet. He remained positive about the future, believing that popular movements will achieve their aims.

Dennis’ poetry, particularly of his prison experiences on Robben Island, has been taught in schools around the world. He was modest about his work, always trying to improve on his drafts.

Randoms....

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 09:31:00 +0000

Christmas was ok.. It was WHITE at the third time of asking- wish I took pictures of me trying to move around in knee deep snow. Got invited out to a bash by the guys where there was a wee bit too much alcohol. That is guaranteed to loosen up a few tongues - and I heard a lot about certain people I shouldn’t have heard! Thankfully I’m out of here in a bit, so I can forget I ever heard those things.

Random meeting..

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:16:39 +0000

In one of those moments - of serendipity or plain coincidence, I met someone who I know from Nigeria on the streets. I was chatting with two friends of mine on a particularly busy street when someone walked up to me and called my name. He attended the same church with my parents for a bit, before he moved on to a new town - got a job in one of the so-called new generation banks and quit his University Lecturer job.

Menus, shopping lists and healthy eating.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:30:00 +0000

The rude shock of seeing the bathroom scale inching steadily towards 100kg has given me the proverbial kick up the back side. I need to start eating healthy ASAP. Eighteen months of binging on KFC, Greggs and Pizza Hut has done my weight in, and added a few inches to the waist line.

The big problem though is I have zilch experience in drawing up menus and creating shopping lists. I’m good when its a crowd going shopping, and I can eyeball what they are buying and decide. Like the googlephile I am, i jumped to google, to see if there were any hints I could get. I stumbled on the UK Food Safety Agency’s Eat well website. Loads of useful information even though it seemed overwhelming at times!

In Retrospect...

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 09:13:33 +0000

This has been one hell of a ride. There was change aplenty - the good, the bad and the iffy. In hindsight, maybe some decisions in 2008 were hasty, maybe they were not…Bottom line is that I survived..

Call them random occurrences, put them down to luck or whatever – I think it was Divine Providence that pulled me through some really difficult times. It had to be – from getting THE opportunity after it had closed, to significant delays on bus timings that enabled me catch the train that got the ball rolling, to having a friend leave her house at the just the right time I needed a new house to stay in a new city (P you totally rock!), to getting Brooke Fraser’s Shadowfeet at the time things felt the bleakest, there had to be some orchestration behind it all. The plus side is I learned a few hard lessons - still learning even newer, harder ones.

Fact... Or Gimmick?

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:14:38 +0000

HT to The Dockers Website via The Doing Hard Things Blog..

The Last Day... Again.

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:24:23 +0000

Today I leave the NorthEast, hopefully for the last time in a bit. I have called this place home; lived here, eaten here, made new friends here, grabbed a degree here, cried here, and now its off to new challenges for me.

In total I’ve spent just under eighteen months here, eighteen months of near perfect freedom, aside of the back breaking swotting for exams. The people have been great too; I only had two questionable incidents - one where a clearly drunk bloke kicked an empty coke can in my direction and shouted a poor imitation of a racial slur, and the other when some kids made all sorts of noises and pointed as I walked past them in Brandling Park.

New Year unResolutions...

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:02:56 +0000

I found these whilst cleaning up my e-mail archives over the weekend.. Enjoy. New Year Resolutions you can keep! Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. 6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast. 7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1. 8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine. 9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. 10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. 11. Not have eight children at once. 12. Get in a whole NEW rut! 13. Start being superstitious. 14. Personal goal: bring back disco. 15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura. 16. Buy an ‘83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system. 17. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash. 18. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords. 19 . Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. 20. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace. 21. Not eat cloned meat. 22. Create loose ends. 23. Get more toys. 24. Get further in debt. 25. Not believe politicians. 26. Break at least one traffic law. 27. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. 28. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases. 29 . Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet. 30. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks. 31. Associate with even worse business clients. 32. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them. 33. Wait around for opportunity. 34. Focus on the faults of others. 35. Mope about my faults. 36 . Never make New Year’s resolutions again.

Retail Therapy!

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:23:00 +0000

The stark reality of being totally single, in another man’s land a few days before Christmas never hits you more strongly than on a Saturday night. No work, boring TV, home alone, the inescapable cold of the winter all remind you of your lonely, boring life. There is only so much a good book, mindlessly surfing the internet, food, wine or any of the other finer treats of life can do to assuage the feeling of loneliness.

Neighbours

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:12:00 +0000

I really would shoot someone if I could. The neighbour decided to have a party and proceeded to deliver an extra loud one - music blaring at obscene levels, people shuffling in the name of dance and setting off vibrations in the entire house. They live above my flat, so I was forced to be privy to the wacky selections the DJ put together. They didn’t even have the courtesy to pre-inform us of their intentions. Thankfully my days here are numbered! Can’t let anyone rain on my parade!

Its complicated..

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:41:40 +0000

This provides some background to this and this (number five)

She still wore her hair in a ‘fro… still wore only lip gloss… still wore a yellow shirt and black pants….still followed Liverpool… still had the dimple on her left cheek…. still wrote with her left hand… still kept a big jar of peanut butter in her fridge….still laughed at my inane jokes…still hummed whilst making her mean stew!

I could be forgiven for thinking that time had stood still…. and it was the first day again….. only she was more grown up… More alluring.. more woman less girl…

Becoming a Bum?

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:52:32 +0000

The last few months for me have been quotidian - bereft of any but the most mundane exertions of eating, sleeping and surfing the internet. Thanks to the fortuitous event of my getting a real job a few months ahead of schedule, I have convinced myself that all I should be doing at this time is to rest and prepare for the big challenge ahead. Sadly, its been a lot more of rest and ungodly amounts of sleep than any real study or preparation. Am I becoming a bum? January can’t come quickly enough for me it seems.

Should I have? Would i?

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:13:44 +0000

By the time you read this, I would have completed the penultimate item on version 6.02 of the five year plan.

26k pounds in expenses, 52k pounds in deferred lost earnings, 4 months of second guessing myself, wondering if this was the right move in retrospect…. And all I get were two short minutes of fame…. 2 minutes where I donned the cape, got the hood and took the twelve steps eastward across the stage to lose my hand in his pudgy one!

Yay..

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:12:00 +0000

They called me. Number was hidden, my phone was on silent, so I missed it the first time. They left a voicemail - asking me to give them a call back. I did and yes we did it! I am to start off the first week of February, so I have a few months to put my feet up and drink some beer (or not)… Thanks to The Source and Myne Whitman who have read my constant prattle for the past few months. You are real Therapists.

Job Application Agent.....

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 09:15:04 +0000

This is an automated email response from Home Careers.com in relation to a Job Application you made.

Our Ref: JustDB-09-20/2011 Category: Multiple Location: StuckVille, Limboland

Dear You,

Further to your recent application, we regret to inform you that after careful consideration it has been decided not to proceed with your application on this occasion. Please be informed that in line with our Corporate Recruitment guidelines, you are not eligible to reapply for this or any other position till December 31st, 2012.

Burning the bridges..... Friday Night Blues...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:43:00 +0000

I hate that you are always on my mind. I tell myself I really don’t mind that we do not talk any more. The brutal truth is that I mind! And worse, that it hurts - like a deeply seated wound that no salve can reach. Only a few months ago, it seemed the world was at our feet and that the sun would shine forever. A part of me wants to believe that you still care, that you still remember - I’m not sure it matters either way. We are done.

The Economics of Loving....

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:51:52 +0000

Tim Harford, author of The Undercover Economist, writes an intriguing blog at the Financial Times where he provides advice from an Economics standpoint on everyday issues. My current favourites are his analysis of a 32-year old American woman’s conundrum: to stay single in Italy or return to San Francisco, a man’s plea for deliverance from a Walmart hating wife, the statistics on loving and losing, the useless PA challenge and consumer choice theory applications for the good boy vs bad boy debate!

Strictly (not) dancing...

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 13:25:24 +0000

I think I have never danced in my entire life - not in church, not on my solitary foray into a night club, not at all the birthday parties I attended as a kid, not ever. I don’t remember if it was a concious decision, or if it was/still is a result of a deep seated phobia even I am unaware of, or if I have always lacked that seemingly natural ability to coordinate the limbs in resonance with external tunes, or if I just plain can’t be bothered.

Guilt tripping

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:36:00 +0000

Aside of the occasional foray into the main street to either shop, use the ATM, go to church, get to the Library or some other mundane task, I have spent the last few months indoors. Today I went out to the ATM. Normally there should not have been a queue but today my eyes were assailed by a queue, stretching into the distance. There must have been at least twenty people on the queue occasioned by the demise of one of the two machines. These are the only two machines in walking distance of my house, which is shocking considering we are just off the city centre.

Right Girl, Right Time, Wrong Context... Or Not?

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 03:45:47 +0000

The following is an attempt to be coherent at 3.45am. If the logic is fuzzy, the imagery abstruse and the conclusions bother on the insane, blame it on reading Malcolm Gladwell into the wee hours of the morning!

In response to my rant/ sobfest in March about losing my friend Di, LoloBloggs pointed me to a post in which she argued that the right girl, wrong time argument was merely an excuse to prime women up for the inevitable future break up. Whilst that may be true in some situations, in one of those not-so random brain waves, it crossed my mind that the rightness or wrongness of the argument was peripheral to the fact that it fit the observed data for a reason - it is pragmatic! A further thought was a what-if, what if there exists a third dimension that when coupled with the right person and the right time serves as a useful predictor of how likely a person-connection is likely to proceed beyond the realms of casual acquaintance-ship? I would like to suggest that that third dimension is that of context.

Waiting (Part 2)

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:32:00 +0000

I think I’ll get the job. Our discussions went very well, the interviewers were very friendly, and only just stopped short of saying they didn’t see why an offer could not be made ASAP. I had scaled through the technical bits of the interview a few weeks ago before meeting up with the HR folks this time. Fingers crossed though. And there is an option to remain in my city! Now that’s some good news, first bits of decent news in a while too.

Shopping..

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:14:00 +0000

I finally went shopping, with a few friends from around the neighbourhood. Meat, tomatoes, onions, and a stop over at the African shop for some real rice meant my long running addiction to KFC is definitely in for a serious beating! Slowly getting used to this town, I cringe at the upheaval another relocation might cause if I get the job I am currently interviewing for..

Twiddling Thumbs...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:04:00 +0000

She popped up on my IM window today – the first time in months that she has. In an oddly unsettling way, it seems odd that she appeared. Odd becuase a mere few months ago, we were seemingly inseparable. I was caught in two minds - to buzz her or not… Truth is there was never any closure. All we had was a slow drifting apart as we each sought to focus more on our own things…. In theory, we are still normal – still friends, still confidants - the only difference from the days of a somewhat burgeoning friendship being the fact that life has happened, and squeezed the ‘thing’ I thought could grow into a dry lifeless crust.

Life's Like That..

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:07:20 +0000

In retrospect…. Life happens.. With or without our consents…. And in its wake often comes change.. which we by default detest. Over time, we develop safe routines, coping mechanisms and default positions to deal with life - ultimately acquiring some semblance of balance.

Sometimes change is subtle; imperceptibly modifying the place where we are on the continuum of life, instigating minor perturbations - little oscillations if you like - around our equilibrium positions. The pragmatic thing to do then is to try to hold the fort, to resist change and maintain the status quo.

Money matters.

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:42:00 +0000

It is times like this that I am ‘happy’ that I still am unmarried. My flatmate has this ongoing conversation with his wife. I swear I can tell the whole tale, blow by blow, word by word. They have been married for nearly 15 years, his Nigerian employers passed him over a couple of times for a promotion - piquing him enough to make him quit - with a hefty pay off - and head back to school after relocating his family to Europe.

'Rethinking' Social Networks....

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:37:58 +0000

Perhaps, this is definitive proof that Social Networks like Facebook and Twitter can be good for you after all. First one bloke has his alibi corroborated by a Facebook timestamp (possibly saving him from up to 25 years in jail), then an attempted suicide was averted and Freddy Adu is finding life on the bench less stressful thanks to support from his peers via Twitter.

What say you? What is the most unconventional use you have put Social Networks to?

Waiting.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:15:00 +0000

The bad part of waiting is the uncertainty - the vacillation between extreme positions, the rehashing of the entire sequence of events in the mind seeking clues as to how it went - and the undoubted clarity that hindsight often brings along with all the could-haves and should-haves that tag along.

I am waiting, have been waiting since a couple of days ago, for a response from the chaps I spoke to. I thought we had fruitful discussions, answered all the questions they asked, and chipped in with a few myself to ensure their expectations for the proposed role matched mine. Now, its time for the wait, while they decide if we are a match enough to progress to the next stage. Fingers crossed, done my bit now, all I can do is wait…… and hope……

Random simple things.......

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:50:14 +0000

Chris Abani, speaking at TED in 2008 makes a statement I largely agree with;

The world is not saved in grand messianic gestures, but in the simple accumulation of gentle, soft, almost invisible acts of every day acts of compassion..

In the last month I,

Saw a bottle of palm wine explode: The chic was taking some palm wine to her father for a traditional wedding. She failed to consult knowledgeable others and left the bottle of palm wine corked. 67.5mm Hg of pressure (that is the saturated vapour pressure of ethanol at 20 deg C) ripped the bottle to pieces, and showered us in palm wine!
Met @medianemesis -- dude is really cool, smart.. and everything I imagined he was and more. Y’all need to follow him on Twitter and read his old blogs - fabulous!
Attended Chill and Relax. Been a long while I chilled and listened to sublimely intelligent minds speak the language of poetry. I should attend when next I am in the vicinity. Thanks to Cerberus for sending a timely reminder.
Went on a ‘date’ with my friend EC: It was her birthday, I was in town doing nothing so she dragged me along to go grab a bite and just catch up on old times. This was just old friends hanging out after a year of us both zipping around the world without actually seeing each other.
Got recruited as a husband finder, so send in the resumes for your brothers, nephews, uncles and (gulp) good ex- boy friends for consideration. The chic in question is uber smart, pwreeety, focused, - world class in short….. and she needs to sort this out in 2010 unfailingly…
Discovered I miss my campus bistro: My morning breakfast bun - the white bread + bacon + sausages + a hot cup of coffee has grown on me in the last 13 months..
Saw a rainbow - and it actually lifted my spirits. Was up since 2.30am, it was wet and windy, and then suddenly as my train came out of the tunnel just north of Edinburgh the sun broke out and the rainbow appeared - Priceless!
Thought I liked her enough to jettison the 5-year plan, then thought it was a passing fancy and then ultimately decided to fast track certain portions of the plan as opposed to whole sale changes.. Oh, and this is not one of the usual suspects……
Was reminded of the one we lost to the genes. She would have been 29 today!
Saw a different spin on love: They have been married for 55 years, she is now confined to a wheel chair, but each day, he takes her for a ‘walk’, he pushes the wheel chair and they chat as they ‘walk’. That in my mind seemed like true for better for worse.
Watched Imagine That, yes it’s kinda mushy, its cheesy, it runs against belief, but I liked it. Sue me! I need me my twin daughters already

The Christmas Blues....

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:54:00 +0000

Walked down Northumberland road today - had to go see the Opticians at Vision Express. Kenny’s official girlfriend’s bum broke my last pair of glasses - whether by an act of omission or one of commission I know not any more.

The entire street was lined with Christmas decorations, and manequinns waltzing to the sounds of well known carols blaring from the speakers on all the shops - Fenwick, M&S and the lot. It is a sharp reminder that its another Christmas away from family.

Friends.....

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 21:26:00 +0000

Caught up with Olu again - he and I sat down in the car, engines revving pouring our hearts out on the various issues in our lives. After being so similar for such a long time, our lives cannot be more divergent going forward. He is heading back to Nigeria semi-permanently, I am looking forward to yet another winter here.

Life is good though, and the time spent chatting up has thrown up a few new directions. That is what friends are for I suspect.

UX5... The Memories..

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:01:55 +0000

I have unfinished business in this town. I had always sensed that when the time came to finally cut my ties, I would still have to come here one last time, to cast my eyes over the horizon and remind myself of all the things this town means to me.

Today I lug my knapsack to the park and ask for a cab. I point in the general direction I am headed in, the dirty strip of land bordering the ocean that became my chill spot during those long arduous weekends. Unsurprisingly, the fare has doubled from the last time I was here, as it did for every one of the years I spent here. We haggle a little over the price. He retorts that there is no fuel, and that I shouldn’t be a cheap skate, after all I am a big boy. Perhaps I look the part - a knapsack that looks like it has a laptop, I wear glasses, am plugged into an iPod, and am speaking English untainted by the default accent one acquires around these parts. Truth is I might have once been one of them, but I am not now, which is why my trip to the waterside could end up being painful. I am off to eyeball UX5 for the last time.

Not pining.. Just saying...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:59:22 +0000

Moments like these, when insomnia induced by deep thought strikes, are when the harsh reality of the things we try to suppress often come to the fore. The overwhelming desire of my heart and my hand is to pick up my phone and call long distance. But my head - ever pragmatic - intervenes, short circuiting the commands and forcing me to think.

I wonder if she remembers me, or if indeed there is someone else making her laugh, hearing all her foibles and making her giggle at pointless jokes and wise cracks into the wee hours of the morning.

Piper on Mid-Life Crises...

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:30:15 +0000

Excellent piece by John Piper on the subject of handling mid-life crises. An excerpt….

You know, God makes no mistakes. I cannot explain to you why he ordained that the first half of your life would be led in a way that looks like you wasted it. Maybe you just lived for money, and you lost your marriage, and you lost your kids. And now you’re 54 years old, and you are all alone and rich and miserable.

In retrospect..... everything.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:12:38 +0000

When I was younger, I secretly believed my mother could fly. To be honest, those heels could delude anyone into believing they could - add a full flowing boubou and you had a superman woman right there, complete with boots and a cape! She certainly was not ultra light – all us kids, and her aversion to wastage in any and every form meant she was always only just under a healthy weight. For all my reading of Essential Biology I should have known that real mothers could not fly; only fairy god mothers could - but the anecdotal evidence seemed to suggest that mine did, for the sheer number of times she caught me pants down – no pun intended.

Mobile Phone Etiquette

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 05:22:40 +0000

Apparently a Saudi Arabian woman filed for divorce after her husband stored her name as ‘Guantanamo’ on his cell phone. Wonder what she would do if her name was stored as Oloshi Oloriburuku?

Almost There.....

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:29:27 +0000

… at the end of the raging storm.… finally a silver lining appears… one victory.. but it is a crucial change of momentum!

Dear God, Deliver me from Greggs!

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:54:08 +0000

Each morning, my nostrils awake to redolent scents, wafting outward from the Greggs eatery next to my house. Sadly, this particular branch is close enough to allow some of the scents find their way in, but just far enough to befuddle my sense of smell in such a way that I cannot precisely tell which is which.

Some days I can almost bet my sweet life that they are arranging hot piping amala there. At other times, I am positive I have heard inhaled the smell of akara, of moi moi and even party jollof rice! Problem though is there is no way any of these can smell like the above; unless there is a Naija chic surreptitiously boiling her own things on the side..

The Thing about 'Definition'.....

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:40:04 +0000

I am all for defining my people connections upfront (DTRs) …… The thing about them though is that they are tricky……. Too soon, and you run the risk of permanently pulverizing some real bridges before they even get built…….. Too late, and you’re mired in the morass of the ‘just friends’ zone…..

That night we had the inevitable talk and faced the ineluctable moment of truth….. Faced with a choice she said…..

A spot of bother..

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:37:00 +0000

Mum is running scared. A lot more scared than even I am.. And she doesn’t know the full scale of the issue. All I have told her is that I may not be returning to my old job in Nigeria. The truth is that I have quit already. As is typical with her she is bothered; wondering if I have enough funds to survive the job search, if I am seeking temporary work whilst all my documentation pulls through, the whole lanyards.

The cacophony

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:48:00 +0000

The worst time to be on Bus 38 has to be around about 3pm. I assume that it is around this time the young and the restless end their studies, hitting the roads to get back to Mum’s food and at which time they are keen to demonstrate their wanton indiscretions to all and sundry.

Today, they were at their bellicose worst - loud voices, popping gum and wild uncoordinated scrambles - all over the bus like worker bees suddenly disturbed from a mid-winter slumber.

Of Exes and Mother's Angst

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 19:39:35 +0000

Dear Lawwd! Matters came to a head today over SpiriChic. Thing is Mother and I have spent the past few months locked in a mental war – losing it is inconceivable for me, because it would constitue such a loss of face that I couldn’t possibly put my foot down on any thing with her in future.

SpiriChic, one of two young ladies I ever seriously dated, is a certain un-official ex from a few years ago now, whose existence was leaked by a parroting sibling in a moment of crass indiscretion. Said ex and Mother got to meet and hit if off instantly, which should have raised red flags in my mind at the time. My assumption has always been though, that as long as I hadn’t told the parents anything, whatever mother assumes is just that, an assumption.

She smiles.........

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:19:18 +0000

She smiles; Pearly teeth Glistening in The golden light Of the setting sun As it dips Beneath the trees That frame this Swiftly fading vista. The rings In her ears Resonate to A hidden rhythm Chiming to an- Unspoken song – One that I feel in The hidden parts of - My enchanted mind. Her eyes, Filled with mirth, Flit in the shades; These slowly Lengthening shadows; Drawing me From this earth To a distant place - Some vale where My pains regress, Where I have been Only in my Midnight dreams. Her hair Stands firm, Unfazed by the Swirling winds, Defiantly proclaiming Her pristine- African-ness Her skin - Ebony black- is Stretched taut Like a canvas - kissed By the gently dropping rain, And caressed By the drooping ferns. The lush green leaves on which she seats pale, losing their colour Acquiring a pallor Blighted by her light That floods my sight. Her feet- clad in scented sandals would deign to- walk this filthy earth. I, alas Like a man bewitched Can only stand- Enthralled, Drawn- By THAT smile that steals my all.

Finally a friendly face..

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:38:00 +0000

Today Bus 38 yielded a friendly face and that after a whole three months! I had already taken my seat, again at the rear of the not so new bus, plugged into my iPod which has being the only companion worthy of note to me, and settled in- yielding to the waves of nostalgia occasioned by the tunes belted out by the artistes on my play list. She had clambered up a few stops after I had got on - clad in knee length boots, black jeans trousers and a navy blue shirt which seemed a tad bit too large for her lithe frame – pulling in her tow a large box. It seemed obvious that she was undertaking the final leg of a journey.

You know you are a chronic bachelor when...

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:12:32 +0000

You know you are a chronic bachelor when…

People at more than two diners know you on a first name basis - clearly you have eaten out sooooo much that you are now an honorary share holder.
The favorite inside joke among your friends is about how ’easy’ your wedding will be - no need to seriously chase a little bride or a little groom as friends daughters and sons will provide that.
The scrawny little kid who used to run around naked in the streets, plastered with sand has now morphed into a delectable mid-twenties chic, and she pitches in once in a while about wanting to chop your cake!
You get unsolicited email addresses and phone numbers from your peeps. They have decided to take matters into their hands by bombarding you with options.
Your father jokingly reminds you of how he met, chased and eventually married your mother. Sadly that is about as subtle as HE can get!
You get quizzed about any girl you are remotely associated with. Even the one who owes you money and only dropped by to negotiate the payment terms!
The Uncle who has not spoken to you in aeons suddenly invites you over for a family vist three times in a month and takes you on a cruise to singles church. Mr sharp man uncle is trying to showcase your talents to the crouching wolves and hoping your bachelor tinted eyes will suddenly wake up.
Your favorite aunt snatches her baby bag from you whilst you are trying to help pack up after a family night out. Her argument is that she doesn’t want anybody to think you are either married or a single father.
You are suddenly analyzing the pros and cons of taking the chase online.
When you and your friends meet up after long absences they eventually pop the question. ‘Soooooo, gist me, what has being happening to you’. Oh and they don’t mean work!

Rethinking... Life.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:41:12 +0000

I had an eccentric- if morbid- pastime whilst growing up; fantasizing about dying; and that for as long as I can remember. This was not a simple hit-by-a-car death, but a major drawn out event complete with ambulances, flashing lights, weeping family, and heart broken friends. The object of those fantasies was to convince myself I was that important to all of them; and assuage my battered ego after being blasted to bits by my mum. I would imagine Mother crying; eyes puffed up, hair flying in the wind, scarf wrapped around her waist, totally inconsolable, attempting to throw herself into the ditch, mourning her great loss - ME. Often I would have Di in the background, bawling like a chicken deprived of her entire brood in a sweeping attack by hawks - only a slightly more dignified version of mum.

The Life of a Lost Son...

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:57:00 +0000

Edit: This is me venting… Nothing personal.. Just vexed by the way certain things have panned out.. I fear that soon all I will have as memories of my Africa will be the melancholic bits interspersed with a few shards here and there of a nostalgic past - growing up, friends, family, schools, holidays and times spent in wanton play - occasional successes mired in a morass of resounding failure. I wrote in my journal when I turned 21, that I felt my future was inextricably linked to Africa and that whatever I did, I would always have her at the back of my mind. Nine years on, I fear I may have made a volte face; one not altogether of my own volition.

What kind of 'Worshipper' are you?

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 02:17:26 +0000

I have been involved in a mini church crawl - attended several churches over the past few weeks with the aim of finding someplace to settle. In the process, I found that people in church largely fit into one of the following classes.

The irresponsible bloke: This bloke dey feel like gangsta for church. Jeans wearing, ear ring totting, chewing gum splitting type, he is often singled out for the sinner’s prayer/ deliverance.
The scammer: O boy dey scan all the fine babes for the church. Instead of worshipping the Lord, bros is watching the screens -and depending on his confidence levels he might try to catch a wink occasionally. If it is a church where peeps are asked to move around and shake hands or welcome each other, free pass for bros o. He will shake and hug all the fine sisters.
The Spiri bros/ sis: These types are the real members of the church. They have come to worship God, but sometimes they can over do it too o. Like skabashing very loudly, singing off key, or like one bloke in my non-Nigerian church, sway as though a strong east wind is blowing only him. These types usually gravitate to the prayer group, evangelism, sometimes Sunday school and the money counters - not very visible positions.
The fine boy usher/ fine girl protocol member: These are the types that cause the most trouble in church. Dem can pose! Bro is usually decked out in a powerful perfume, correct suit and tire, and the phonetics! Chei, wahala! They don’t sit still in church o, always prancing around, so people can see them. I suspect that at least 65% of church members know them by name!
The choir chic: The typical choir chic can foine! This type is usually decked out gloriously every Sunday, and when there is a need to print a handbill, oh yes, na dem dey dey the front o. Normal songs for worship, become opportunities to showcase their Carrie Underwood-esque voices.
The groove man/ groove chic: These types are your semi-reformed bubblers. Dem don groove so tey, as soon as the songs start to play, especially in Naija churches, they break out into the latest adaptation of a P-square, Wande Coal or Makossa dance steps (You get the drift). Needless to say, they usually sleep through the sermon as they have over spent their energy.
The would-be intellectual: This types - usually blokes - think they have heard it all. From Aristotle to Socrates, from Blaise Pascal to CS Lewis they have heard all the finer arguments for and against the existence of God. They usually appear in church once in a while, sit at the back and look condenscendingly at the delusion of others around them.
The Gizmo Kid: These types are usually blokes again, but I have seen quite a few female versions. Bible on the iPhone or iPod, ear phones plugged in until church starts, dem can pose!

A touching story...

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 12:49:38 +0000

Found this two part story, exploring the difference love can make in the life of someone on my favorite webzine - Boundless. Really touching. Enjoy Part One and Part Two.

Clarity calls.....

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:57:55 +0000

I don’t wanna feel like this tomorrow I don’t wanna live like this today Make me feel better I wanna feel better Stay with me here now And never surrender

Today, in a bizarre moment of clarity, I realized I had parked my bus for way too long at a bus stop that wasn’t mine… A lot of energy was dissipated, focus diluted and time irretrievably wasted in the process.. Funnily, I knew a year ago very clearly what I should have done - it was reiterated very strongly five months ago - but the deeply seated nostalgic memories continued to keep me deluded, holding me in a mistaken belief that it could work and banishing my usually ruthless streak to the background…

Thoughts of a Pilgrim...

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 05:49:00 +0000

I, like a tired weary pilgrim, Trudge this earth, these stony paths so grim. Seeking, with ponderous wandering steps, Salvation from a marauding death.

I, like a penitent prodigal son, Cling to the fading final notes of my long lost song Hoping that someday, somewhere within this earthly dome, I may find the beaten path that will lead home.

I seek a hidden ledge on which to leave my heartfelt plea; Some place where my bloodied sacrifice I can leave. Where my guilt ridden heart can find peace and be held Close to my father, speaking words only he must hear.

The bird in hand............... Worth two in the bush?

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 05:44:00 +0000

They say a bird in hand ‘is worth two in the bush’… But where do we draw the line between being content with what is in hand versus craving the potential two in the bush……

Sometimes I fear I have a death wish - an inordinate attraction for the eccentric and the esoteric - to the detriment of the normal and available.. When I was younger, I chalked it down to an insatiable curiosity; that essential criterion for a life of continuous learning. Now though, I fear it runs deeper than that, maybe it is a desire to be unconventional, or a longing for the adventure that comes with the risk, or plain old restlessness.. I don’t know anymore….

Musing....

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:13:00 +0000

I think I have done a 180 degree turn, when I review the way the past year to a year and a half has gone. From wanting to resign my job and quit Nigeria in the light of the politics surrounding my last job, to deciding an MSc would afford me the time to sort out the issues, then trying to return to my last role and then finally deciding staying away was the correct thing to do, I think Life has pulled me through several undulations.

Random-isms......

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:17:58 +0000

Quite a few changes have occurred around me in the last few weeks… chief of which was moving out of my previous lodgings for a flat where a couple of blokes I have known from Nigeria are staying. All has been fine and dandy except for a few issues namely:

1. The boys can snore! Chei, sometimes it sounds like a contest. Different people all ‘hee-hawing’ simultaneously. The paper thin walls fail colossally in muffling the sounds!

What not to say to my Nigerian Father...

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 13:12:30 +0000

Growing up in my own neck of the woods was an experience. We nicknamed our Pops the Ogbodons - not sure where the term originated from any more but my back side was a living testimony to his varied abilities and multiplied skills in inflicting pain. Mum didn’t help matters as she was was as resolute in hammering our ’evil’ proclivities out of our systems. I got the opportunity to contrast that parenting style a few weekends back when I went visiting some distant family members in London. Clearly their less than 3 year old daughter has more leeway with him than I do with my own parents at my (huge) age.

A curious case of HIT and RUN?

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:08:04 +0000

Have a hit-and-run-less weekend!

All the D-words

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:30:00 +0000

Sounds like the only words I can use to describe myself now are all the lousy D-words:

Disillusioned, distraught, disappointed, disparaged…

I am just tired!

The Sadness in Her Eyes

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:46:00 +0000

The sadness in her eyes breaks me, Willing me to reach across the breach of hurt; To hold her hand and tell her it was all a dream.

The painful lustre in her eyes, As they glistened in the candle light that night Would draw me into granting a reprieve that is not mine.

She seeks a place to leave her wish. Where, at the feet of a gentle wizened priest, She can be relieved of a flagrant breach, a love once spurned.

Once Upon A Life...

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 12:42:32 +0000

Inspired by a long talk with my friends O and Steve who challenge me to take life more seriously and to excel myself.

The motorcade slowly inches its way through the crowded streets preceded by weaving motor cycles carrying men bought to perform stunts. Music funnelled out of half open windows, blaring horns, howling sirens and people massed in grotesque postures; sticking out of open car doors and perched atop yet more cars are the hallmark of the day. A benumbing mix of people is assembled, all dressed in matching black clothes waving black handkerchiefs and bearing a large portrait of a man, who they eulogize in song. Presently the hearse bearing the ornately carved box bearing his remains comes into view surrounded by more men dressed in black and roving cameras ostensibly placed to capture the gaiety of the celebration for posterity’s sake.

Back... again..

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:09:59 +0000

At the insistence of some sections of the family, I was dragged away to London for the weekend… No complaints though because it included home cooked meals, no internet (sad but good - Twitter on my BB tried to fill the void) and some ’transport’ money - critical for a bloke on a (self imposed) student budget. Plus I got the opportunity to bond with my niece whom I had never seen (bad ‘uncle’ abi?).

Dear Fairy God Mother

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:50:51 +0000

Kindly report for duty ASAP. I need my coveralls turned into an Alexander Amosu suit and my grease tainted steel-toed Redwings turned into a pair of Berluti’s. Also please place a requisition for a Bugatti Veyron. While you are at it, please stop by Santa’s and remind him I am yet to receive any responses on my requests for the 11th straight year.

Please be informed, that this is your last chance to prove you exist, else I shall have to take matters into my hands and accept that gruelling 9 to 5!

The Abstruse and The Absurd

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 18:00:39 +0000

Got forwarded a link to a video on FB (as usual) for the Diary of a Tired Blackman. A number of the themes are overstated in my opinion, but quite a number of insights on the whole. Lots of strong language, plus its quite a long one… Enjoy…

75% of Britons blog, text or surf the internet while in the loo, what do you do to pass the time in the loo?
Ever misuse quotation marks? New ideas on how to misuse them from this great blog for you.
Maybe this approach to managing our friendships will add a much needed dose of pragmatism to them.
Trying to lose weight? Try this lip gloss!
Should rules be relaxed in some instances? This bloke was initially denied a liver transplant as his condition is alcohol related.
Some fat is actually great for your long term health. Bring on the cokes mehn!
Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones fame actually spent a year at the London School of Economics.
One football game descends into a comedy of errors. You would have thought they would respected the problems at West Ham - a player stabbed and another losing his father. Read a brilliant analysis of some of the background and potential implications of such irascible behaviour here.
Wish you won a big lottery? Think again. The winner of a humongous sum in an Italian lottery seems to have vanished into thin air for fear.

A Passing Fancy...

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:06:35 +0000

Day Zero. You meet her on one of those days. Boredom morphs into irritation, topped off with despondency. Your 8-4 (5-9) is especially dull on the day. Madam Bosco, your loud mouthed, over-bearing boss rips into you as usual over the ever yawning chasm between your targets and your deliveries. The heat seems to have major intentions of causing grievous bodily harm in any case. That is when the ‘gods’ of the internet and itchy fingers contrive to send Her your way.

On the subject of lifelong learning.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:25:33 +0000

Ben Dulap, President of Wofford College speaking at TED2007 on the subject of a Passionate Life quotes Mahatma Gandhi

Live each day as if it were your last, learn as if you were to live forever.

Lifelong learning - continuously aiming to understand the rules of engagement in every sphere of life that intersects us - is the key to succeeding; it would seem.

That is another life long lesson I am adding to my burgeoning list.

The Wastelands...

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:05:00 +0000

Sometimes I wish I could fly and take myself away, to a distant land far removed from the scorching sun that bakes my earth into a stony hearth and burns it into a barren wasteland.

Sometimes I wish I could run Fast enough to escape this darkness that coaxes me into a frenzied song and to a fevered dance; of mindless tongues that sear my lungs and wear my tired soul.

Job Hunting..

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 22:28:27 +0000

Its is a well known stereotype that the English love to talk about the weather. In truth, until a few days ago, I was yet to see anything particularly talk-worthy about the weather I have had to endure at my end of the world.

I’ve been chasing a job – similar in remit to the one I was schemed out of in Nigeria – which has required me to do a lot of travelling by train to the City dubbed the Oil Capital of Europe! In the main these journeys have been in phenomenally abysmal weather – made worse by the fact that my student budget requires me to divide the journey into little bits to optimize my spend.

The Anatomy of a Blogsville Addiction

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 22:13:41 +0000

Peeps thanks for your best wishes per my birthday.. Pleasantly surprised by the responses..

The information provided below is provided ‘as-is’ for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If in doubt, see your GP.

You know you need help fast when:

You almost sign off a cheque as your blogger ‘self’ – when money no longer forces clarity on you, wahala dey o.
The last time you ‘spoke’ to your flatmate was on Facebook - especially if the bloke is just two doors away. Not good!
Your supposedly ‘favorite’ cousin has to resort to using the ‘Contact Me’ form on your blog to reach you! - first it is a cardinal sin that your cousin reads your ‘anonymous’ blog, secondly its a major failure that you’re not constantly pacifying him/her.
You live a walking distance from a stadium that hosts Premier League football – but all you want to do is constantly refresh the BBC football page for the latest score and read blogs - it doesn’t get much worse than this.
Your 10+ year addiction, Football Manager, suddenly fails to attract your attention anymore - this seems to suggest there may be a ‘spiritual’ dimension to the whole thing. Call in the ‘Cele ’ peeps sharply mehn.
When pressed for an example in the midst of a discussion, the first stories that come to mind are from Blogs you read! - this has the added effect of potentially inducing a bizarre condition informally referred to as encephalotisitic fatigitis
The night before your big exam you still create time for blog rounds and you then get into a verbal war of words that extends late into the night – especially when you know the full ramifications of not getting an alpha on that exam! - this one requires serious beating - fan belt/ koboko everything… serious unseriousness.
You see bloggers - who you have never met any ways - in your dreams and you ‘just know’ it is them! Another reason to get the ‘Cele’ peeps on the job ASAP.
You read a post and somehow think it’s a slight on you or worse rather than engage people in the real life you vent your anger on your blog - this demonstrates bloke needs to grow up sharpish……
You start wondering which of the events in your world were blogged about by others in the past or worse you give every one around you the suspicious ’eye’ - Not everyone blogs, and if they did, it doesn’t affect you..
You wake up and the first thing on your mind is/are the post(s) you need to create. HT to SolomonSydelle for pointing out the critical omission!
You find it hard to differentiate between your real and virtual friends - HT to Favoured Girl for unearthing this one.
All your current romantic interests are people you have never even seen - we’ll need to add Papa Adeboye to the consortium organizing the prayers to resolve this one. HT to a certain anonymous for unearthing this one!
You spend time on blogger instead of working in the midst of a recession. HT to Original Mgbeke for supplying this one - when the bill paying JOB pales in significance to another activity… Kasala dey try burst be that o….

Business as usual...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:03:21 +0000

I turned in my dissertation today. So to all intents and purposes, it should be ‘business as usual’ going forward. I need to get the final bits of utility out of Football Manager 2009 first though.. and get some summer loving…. ;) Oh and some reading too.

A Lost Son...

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 18:52:41 +0000

In moments like these, the stark reality hits me like a blow to the solar plexus - I am lost….caught in the neverland between two worlds - never fitting into either one. My lostness is multi-faceted; spawned by the dissonance being caught between the fervent patriotism of a son who once believed he had something big to offer his country and the hard nosed pragmatism of a thirty plus bloke who realizes - a trifle late - that finding his place in this world is more important in the near term than the anonymit y of sacrifice.

Aha.......My Epiphany

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:00:17 +0000

……..when the vehicle becomes more important than the Journey or even the Journey -er, a time out to ponder becomes expedient……..

Not restless enough?

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:39:00 +0000

I find the story of Isaac, Esau and Jacob intriguing, how guile and subtlety wins over brash power. Even though Isaac gave the blessing to Jacob, I find it interesting that Isaac mentions that Esau will only be under the yoke of Jacob until he gets restless. Perhaps every situation I am in at the moment is only because I have not been restless enough to break out from the chains and limitations…….

Finally Free

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:38:00 +0000

Today
I killed you;
Ripped apart from the very roots
The vestiges of everything
We once held dear.

Yesterday
The yawning chasms
Finally took their toll, Harshly jerking us awake
To the rasping rhetoric of a Reality birthed
By things that would never be.

I have been
Broken like a gourd,
Crushed like the petals of a rose
Dismembered by feet in haste and shredded into bits
By hands too calloused
To care.

Weekday Kingdom Qualities

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:00:00 +0000

Currently reading Gordon McDonald’s Forging a Real World Faith. He identifies Eight Tips from the life of Daniel that we can use in our real world jobs..

Kingdom Perspective: Daniel knew God was in charge. The person of real world faith gauges every activity not against the opinions of people but against that of God.When moments of divergent opinion occur, one is careful where the real power lies.
Prudent Flexibility: Daniel knew when to back off and when to fight bare fisted.
Wise and Tactful Communication: The person of real world faith knows how to deliver a message that blends raw knowledge with God’s over arching purposes; how they fit into the big picture if you like. Coupled with the subtlety to soften the harshness of truth while commanding the attention of his hearer to appreciate the sense in the proffered solution, the person of real-world faith has the tools to be a person of critical influence in the work place.
True Humility: Achievements and providing solutions no one else has, have the potential to raise us to levels of self aggrandizement beyond the reasonable. Daniel always pointed to God as the source of his ‘powers’. The person of real world faith doesn’t allow whatever accolades he wins get to him. In his heart of hearts, he recognizes God as his source, and where appropriate he articulates that.
Intelligence: Daniel didn’t leave his brain in the Temple. He brought it to work daily! The person of real world faith has the resources of Heaven networked to his brain, if he will only ask for it.. and use it!
Integrity: Daniel delivered work with Integrity. The person of real world faith delivers on his work expectations with integrity - meeting deadlines, staying above board with company finances and assets and stuff like that. When his life was rigorously examined by his enemies, they found that they could only fault him on the matter of his faith.
Leadership Skill: Daniel exerted an undeniable influence on Babylonian politics. He led and administered his portfolios so well that he was considered for elevation to be head of the three other administrators.
Loyalty: Daniel - even when he had to deliver bad news- showed extreme loyalty to his bosses. He did recognize though that his first Boss was God, and the King.

Holiness is A Harvest..

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:14:00 +0000

Spent the weekend listening again to Joshua Harris message from New Attitude 2002 - Holiness is A Harvest. Truth is I have not devoted as much time to learning God as I have to say blogging, chasing my romantic interests and stuff like that. It’s a rude reminder that if I say I want to know God, the basic Spiritual Disciplines need to be in place! An action item from my RA involves taking bible study more seriously. I need to jump on it ASAP..

Ponderings.......

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:30:02 +0000

A Journey is a gradual passage from one state to another. It may be a translation of spatial coordinates- in which case an object physically changes location, or it may merely be metaphorical - an evolution of an idea from a crude, undeveloped state to a more refined one. Sometimes the journey is deterministic – the number of steps is known from the beginning; at other times it is iterative - involving little steps that seek to approximate an unknown solution. There may be fellow Journey -ers; there may also be assistance in the form of vehicles that seek to mitigate the drudgery of the journey. The key though is that change occurs and hopefully there are clearly defined metrics that show that progress is being made. When all is told though, there is an end in view, a destination, a target box if you like, within which the Journey terminates………….

The Inner 'CAT' scan

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 20:40:00 +0000

The deep examination of life is a critical component of following Christ wholly. Gordon McDonald offers the following categories for examination.

My People connections: Am I a people please-r? Do I seek to gain self esteem from peoples’ opinion of me? DO I use people rather than attempt to leave their lives in a more improved state than when I met them? Do I have unresolved resentment against certain people? Am I unduly competitive and jealous of others?
My Things connection: Do I measure my self worth based on the amount of stuff I have? Does money control me? How disciplined am I with regards to purchases, especially things that may not be needful at the moment? Am I truly generous? How much of my earnings do I give to the less privileged? DO I tend to judge people by how much they own?
My Thought Connection: What is the condition of my thought life? What drives my thoughts? Am I captivated by frequent immoral thoughts? What are my attitudes to pornography? Am I obsessed with being someone I am not? Am I constantly dissatisfied with where I am in my life?
My Guilt Connection: Are there things in the past I am still carrying guilt over? Are there things I need to seek forgiveness over and restitute?
My Career Connection: What are my work goals? Am I delivering work that is excellent? Is work controlling my life? What do I do when I need a break from work?
My Memory connection: Have I granted forgiveness to people who have hurt me in the past, deeply? Am I still controlled by defeats or failures from the past that tend to prevent me from going forward today?
My Habit Connection: Do I have any habits, thought patterns or attitudes that are preventing me from being fully Christ-like? Is there any habit I can’t let go of?

Scared..... Of God?

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:58:00 +0000

I have ranted and raved for a while now about not feeling a real world passion for God, and rightly so. But in the last few days, I have finally gotten to start reading Gordon McDonald’s Forging a Real Faith and Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and I am scared. Scared of what I might see when I finally peek through the door. I suspect that there is so much I will see that my real world life, a lot of the nascent parts of my worldview will be totally altered. That thought is sobering and rightly so. I can see clearly that my view of God has been totally defective; Great in my head, but not in my heart, having the right answers but not the right attitudes, going through the motions without a real sense of awe. I am scared, but I’m still plodding on…. There’s more to life, and I want to see it!

The Hot Seat......

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:33:23 +0000

For Me….In the midst of potentially destabilizing change…

The hot seat …..is the hot seat…. The place where you are put on the spot, and come under the most intense scrutiny possible. Here, the basis of your Faith is rigorously examined and the coherence of your worldview is systematically evaluated. It is the zone where well meaning words become dry platitudes devoid of any soothing balm, where textbook solutions fall apart, where time tested strategies cannot even begin to scratch the surface of the sickness that a hope deferred brings.

Was Moses' Wife Black?

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:29:00 +0000

Perhaps it is immaterial if she was black or not…. Read the interesting argument in the affirmative by JDHays here.

Hat tip to Justin Taylor’s Between Two Worlds Blog for the info.

Artificial Human Sperm?

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:44:00 +0000

If researchers in the North East are as successful as they are claiming, “in vitro” sperm could become yet another tool chest in the battle for babies. More here

Too easy?

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:12:00 +0000

Perhaps Nigeria has it ‘too good’. Sudan in the midst of sanctions is building a home grown airplane, Nigeria with 10 years of democracy has a burgeoning insurgency in the Niger-Delta.

Dear Mom...

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:04:37 +0000

Dear Mom.. It’s that time of the year again, when we should gather to celebrate you and the influence you have been on our lives. Unfortunately, yet again I am far away, so far this time that I cannot even remotely be part of the event. Knowing you, I know its typically low key, a gathering of the special people in your life – which is basically Dad and us – the brood you’ve given your all for. We are all scattered far and wide now – me, kid bro, both sisters and all the numerous cousins but you have a special place in our hearts.

Inter-faith dialogue: An unlikely source of advice.

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:13:00 +0000

Perhaps God still speaks to us in unlikely ways. Consider a piece of scriptural advice on inter-faith dialogue from a Muslim here.

Hat tip to the Leadership Journal.

The 'Just Friends' Conundrum..

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:16:00 +0000

Perhaps another slant at the ‘just friends’ conundrum is in order here. Read Uncle Theo’s take on the undefined Guy-Girl connection here.

Coffee might be great after all....

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 07:27:00 +0000

Strong coffee might be great for your mental health after all; if this research proves to be applicable to humans that is.

Via BBC News

On attempting to find the perfect solution..

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:34:13 +0000

I listened to an old Joshua Harris message I downloaded from 2005 over the weekend. One thought caught my attention all over again….

It is easier to give direction to those who are alive than to attempt to raise the dead.

Whilst he made the statement in the context of guy-girl relationships, I think it makes sense for other aspects of life. Perhaps it is better to start something and then attempt to retool it than to eternally agonize over the perfect solution.

How not to 'kill' weeds..

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 19:35:00 +0000

Perhaps some inconvenience is better than exotic solutions. This house got wrecked by an attempt to kill weeds with a flame thrower.

"Mene mene tekel parsin"

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:17:27 +0000

Its midway through the year already…. 2009 has sped by with alarming inerrancy…. And the midway point will soon be reached…….I find myself musing, questioning, probing and sifting through the evidence hoping to find proof that I have indeed focused on the right things so far that will make the most difference when push comes to shove and the bricks fall down as though ripped to shreds by a tsunami of cataclysmic proportions……….The big chronological milestone approaches too, and with it comes a sense of dread - I will officially become ‘old’ in my book - but then on the other hand is some gratefulness for still being alive against all odds….. …… Its taking stock time here………….I really hope the verdict is not “mene mene tekel parsin”

Nineteenth Street...

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 15:31:38 +0000

Strolling with an eager anticipation of the culinary delights sublimely created to soothe my aching throat and growling stomach, I hum a mindless tune that bears no connection whatsoever to any extant song. Somehow the steady ‘chomp chomp’ of my footsteps are the entire accompaniment I can muster to the tune that fills my head to overflowing. It has been a hard day of work; if shuffling papers, shouting at the interns, playing solitaire and facebooking count as work that is. All that is far removed from the fore of my mind though, as the gently fading sun casts long shadows on the earth behind me, whilst I walk along the street, anachronistically named the Nineteenth

On.. The seduction of words............

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:38:13 +0000

Are words merely words on a page, or are they snippets of a hidden soul that have somehow escaped to grant a preview to the uninitiated of the intangibles that lie beneath the surface? Perhaps, words in reality bear no extant connection to the mind that inspired the hand that bore the pen that crafted them and are devoid of a life of their own; only sketching a reality that is at best virtual and concocted.

On... The Crux of the Matter

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 16:27:49 +0000

First off.. Our PROJECT is live……. Stop over and show us some love aight! ABlackJamesBond asked a particularly intriguing question on the last post on his blog - contemplating.

Would the boy you were yesterday be proud of the man you are today?

I wish I had straight forward answers, a Yes or a No. But I’m finding out that the more I think about it, the more it seems the answer is both Yes and No. Yes, I’ve met and exceeded most of my targets; No because in some regards, I have done stuff the boy of yesterday, who stood with great enthusiasm on the cusp of greatness would cringe to even hear of. Deep down sometimes I argue with myself, wondering if perhaps I have even delivered on the huge potentials I know I once had.

Letter to the future...

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 22:39:45 +0000

It seems only like yesterday that I stood in your shoes, on the verge of turning twenty-one. My mind was a maelstrom of feelings; not all of which I could understand. On the one hand was nostalgia for all the memories of growing up and on the other trepidation. I had just left the University and I was going to miss the ‘mountain top experiences’ - the uninhibited exuberance of worshiping together on a Sunday afternoon, the wonderful friendships that had been developed over the tenure of my stay, the nights spent in raucous laughter as we talked about everything under the sun - everything. I felt some trepidation, a nagging concern at the monstrous changes that I was on the verge of undergoing. Lots of issues swirled around my mind – what final grade would I make? Where would I be deployed to serve the nation? Would I get a job? Was a Masters’ Degree the ultimate coup de grace I needed to launch myself into my chosen career? Had I learned all I needed to succeed in life? I had plans, that had me doing things I had only seen in my dreams.

Feeling Cool ...... On FaceBook!

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:43:17 +0000

Its been a sloooow Friday at mine.. So I spent a huge chunk of it on Facebook…. Enjoy a few of the more esoteric status updates I saw this week.

“The Law of divine BS” - Given two prospects of similar abilities, the rate of change of opportunities to perform with time is directly proportional to the amount of dust yarned and the amount of dross promised! i.e “Open eye” creates opportunities…JS (Before nko, its all about the agbari!)
Light travels faster than sound, that is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak - OO (Appearances will always open doors, it behooves the smart person to ensure the content matches the appearance)
Survivorship bias: We see the winners and “learn” from them, while forgetting the huge unseen cemetery of losers - FOI (Truly, First is everything, the rest is nothing)
You can travel across the world,meet the nicest people and enjoy the greatest moments of life in a tiny yet essential ship called friendSHIP. - RE (You can tell from the mushyness that this is feminine….Valid point though)
*Apart, we dominate; Together, we orchestrate* - DJ (Isn’t it immediately obvious that this dude is the life of the party?)
Walls are meant to shut people out, but they also shut you in - HA (This one newly marry, its allowed!)
A simple smile will do so much..don’t leave home without it - ENO (Another one of the fairly newly wedded peeps, valid point though)
One more " I will always love you" line from his black lips and I honestly will shoot someone! Tutututubararaaraaraara…. PO (Wo.. If you shoot all the people saying they luff you, who will remain?)
Why has the price of pure water stayed at N5 for over 10 years while inflation, currency rates and other costs have gone up? Any thoughts, analysis or suggestions? (FDI) (This one has an MBA from one of the top schools in Europe but is roasting behind a desk in Nigeria, this is just to demonstrate that he still has business insight!)
My prayer for you all is that there would be a transformation that would take each of you to a subspace that is invariant to exogenous perturbations. (AAA) (Surely, I do not sound like this… This one is a prospective Vibrations PhD!)

UNICEF's Day of The African Child........

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:47:32 +0000

Today is UNICEF’s Day of the African Child. Spare a thought for so-called child-witches, preventable deaths, poor quality education and child trafficking.

Sudden Clarity

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:19:00 +0000

Damn – I KNOW what the problem with my life is – discipline to do what I need to do, when I need to. My time management issues all flow from and into the discipline thing! I have very clear plans on direction, and goals - I NEED to start planning my day and acting on it ASAP, leaving procrastination behind.

On stuff........This side of Heaven

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 09:20:36 +0000

Yours truly spent the weekend; the part not spent on Facebook, Twitter or playing Football Manager that is, thinking about all the things I need to sort out in the next phase of life for my aging self! Here are the Seven things I have to get done, in no particular order, before Heaven beckons….

Marry the akara making Halle berry/ Gordon Ramsay/ Martha Stewart superwoman of my dreams!
Write the best-selling collection of poems and or the book that gets me on the cover of TIME magazine and rave reviews as the new Shakespeare (speaking at TED would be a great alternative!)
Swivel in my chair and dictate global Pipeline Integrity Policy from my corner office at Corporate HQ on 800 Bell street for at least 20 years..
Walk a tight-rope stretched taut over the Niagara falls (or if my keg prevents me, pretend to!)
Get to retire to my yacht in the Caribbean and watch the sun set for at least another 20 years!
Make a one time donation of at least ten million dollars to World Vision, Compassion, or preferably Stepping Stones Nigeria.
Last and not the least, get some legit toe-curling, head twisting, mind boggling you-know-what..

Daaaayuuum…. Its a Sunday.. Enough of the day dreams - I’m off to Church!

The Reading List... 20 books in 20 weeks..

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 12:12:00 +0000

One of the action items from my Thinking Time was a reading list. Full list is here..

A Haiku for a New dawn...

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:13:00 +0000

Yesterday, YOU broke
My wild, frantic grab for hope.
But I did not quit.

Yesterday the skies
Seemed bleak, left gloom, made me cry.
I can smile again.

Yesterday brought tears
Shattered faith, left me in fear.
But it’s over now.

Yesterday my feet,
Walked down roads despoiled by filth
I am stronger now.

Today, the sun peeked
Through dross piled high at my feet.
I can hope again.

That Tomorrow comes,
And with it flows hope, new songs.
I can laugh again _
_

On self-delusion...

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:18:42 +0000

Perhaps the thin line between self-delusion and dreaming big is crossed where tomorrow’s gains are sacrificed on the altar of yesterday’s illusions.

On "Greening the Ghetto"...

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:00:16 +0000

We might learn a thing or two from Majora Carter’s approach to tackling environmental degradation issues in the South Bronx. Video’s HERE

Blessing in Disguise?

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 12:16:00 +0000

Woke up late today and had to head off to a church closer home.. It was an Anglican Church. Felt a little strange with all the reading of prayers, the hymns and all that. Its been at least six to seven years since i set foot in a more traditional church. I must say I found it interesting in any case; perhaps some faith by rote is great for life? I dunno!

The Action Item List

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 10:09:00 +0000

I identified a few key things that I need to work on in my life to improve on myself majorly. The prioritized list I will be working off is below:

Develop a reading schedule: financial, self motivation, self esteem, writing and career related books.
Schedule times for laptop gaming, internet and other non essential activites.
Build a plan for improving my life in the categories of Al Mohler’s excellent piece - The Marks of Real Manhood.
Develop a plan for regular bible study and prayer, determine a time and stick to it
Document my peculiar sin vulnerabilities: identify the triggers and fight for the life of me!
Identify two mentors - one in the workplace and one for my personal life. Set up weekly teleconferences or meetings as appropriate.
De-clutter my life. Reassess all my people connections and downsize to a manageable number.
Complete my MSc, identify critical modules I will require in the work place and read up on them before I get to resume work.
Get a complete physical exam done. Identify any potential health vulnerabilities and ensure they are in line for focused attention.
Maintain my weight - can’t afford to increase health risk levels by bulking up.
Develop mechanisms for tracking and assessing need before expenditure. Consider adding a need assessment module to my excel tracking sheet.
Read up on investment opportunities in Nigeria. Develop mechanisms for assessing investments and prioritizing them for action.
Identify worthy causes and get plugged into a couple.

Hopefully, I will be able to state categorically at the end of the year that I have worked through the list.. I then shall measure effectiveness and decide which new directions I need to chase!

In which 'Kasala' nearly burst....

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:43:22 +0000

Kpekere was one of them typical razz waffy boys.. Clean shaven aside of a goatee, not too tall, legs slightly bowed and with rippling muscles under the skin tight tee-shirts he wore, he had a menacing look around him. He was suave in his own way though, waffy slangs rolled off his tongue like melting lollipops, enthralling us , especially when he chose to regale us with tales of his supposed exploits bunkering crude oil in the creeks. His skin was a very light shade of brown – a testament to a randy Portuguese ancestor back in the day. With lots of cash to spare, being a tough tackling no-nonsense central defender in the Department’s Football side added to the aura of hardman that surrounded him, and he used it to good effect.

The Damned Recession

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:13:00 +0000

Had a particularly soothing phone call with the bestie today - Olu and I are in a similar place - uncertain about returning to our old jobs in Nigeria and all that…. As usual we rambled on about many things - book work, wives/ girl friends, our Nigerian folks and the like. Eventually, we got to talk about post-study plans and all what not.. He’s open for both options - the UK or Nigeria, as I am. There’s still some time till we decide one way or the other, so I shall just keep my fingers crossed, and take it from there!

Living your Liturgy

Sun, 31 May 2009 13:47:01 +0000

Apparently an awe inspiring 90% of Nigerians are religious. Statistics like these make the likes of Richard Dawkins claim that religion is the root of all evil. Dinesh D’Souza, Ravi Zacharias the UCCF, and a whole lot of other resources exist specifically to discuss the pros and cons of the subtle nuances of the arguments around Drawinism vs Intelligent Design and Theism vs Atheism vs Agnosticism. It is instructive to also note that atheism has not done much better either - the Soviet era is a case in point.

On "Living A Soulful Life"

Thu, 28 May 2009 18:14:20 +0000

I’ve always had a not too complementary view of the intellectual capabilities of most musicians.. But John Legend made a lot of sense in his commencement address at his Alma Mater (The University Of Pennsylvania). I don’t agree explicitly with everything he says especially about blurring the lines between absolutes, but he made sense overall. Enjoy…

Another Twenty Two..

Tue, 26 May 2009 19:42:15 +0000

She…..

You’re a good guy but………………

He…..

Thanks for the time, t’was appreciated…..

He ruminates….

Shoot!!! Did I just get blown off?

On injustices too blatant to ignore...

Sat, 23 May 2009 21:32:26 +0000

Crap happens. God Judges ultimately. But miscreants need to be taught that crime and punishment are different sides of the SAME coin.

When Tomorrow Comes....

Sat, 23 May 2009 09:45:00 +0000

Wrote this for Chiedu Ifeozo’s Poetry for Charity Volume 2 Project….All proceeds go to nominated charities in Nigeria. You can buy a copy here.

The skies are dark, pregnant as with an impending storm,
The wind is fierce, strumming out a strident wail,
Our tin shed creaks, as like a ship by wind assailed,
Whilst we all cringe,
In fear of what the storm will bring.

The rains come down, like hell’s pent up rage by fiends released,
Accompanied by hail, that batters down our scant solace,
Our threadbare clothes, no respite from the cold can bring,
As we sit mum,
Remembering when the sun last shone.

Of Doctors, Lawyers and Keeping my sanity...

Fri, 22 May 2009 11:49:16 +0000

Edit – Just so you know, I have nothing against Lawyers and Doctors… Its just that they make me want to tear my hair out sometimes…. Its nothing personal.. LOL

Quite frankly if it were possible to be ‘cursed’ with doctors and Lawyers – I think I would have that curse….

My mum is a closet doctor - maybe the disappointment of missing out on medical school made her over compensate - but all my young life I was innudated by quasi-medical books - Look Younger, Live Longer, Where there is no Doctor, Every Woman, and a slew of health books by the Seventh Day Adventists; plus all the newspaper cuttings – how smiling adds a year to your life, hyper vitaminosis, drink your way to health and all that ish..

Family Matters

Wed, 20 May 2009 13:13:00 +0000

I am currently embroiled in a little family spat - with Mum, Dad and ’the Uncle’ being the principal players here. Mum is one of them prim and proper women – married in her mid twenties, had her children fairly early and then gave her career a good shot. In between multiple children and numerous extended family members, she managed to get herself three degrees in total! She also gave the blokes at work a good run for their money – and came close to landing the top job several times except for the political posturings of a few well connected individuals. She and I have this love-hate relationship though. She’s never accepted that I am grown and can handle myself. She’s always tried to help out or plain take charge of me, which I have resisted with every fibre.These days, she and I have a mutual respect. We both know where the limits are – that is the recipe for survival I suspect.

Sometimes I wonder..................

Tue, 19 May 2009 22:52:56 +0000

Sometimes I wonder what the difference is between……………

Self-delusion and Dreaming Big
Hypocrisy and the Gap Trap
Narcissism and Self Esteem
Love and Admiration
Pragmatism and Foolhardiness

“If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side?

- Leo Tolstoy

Don't worry Now..... Brit Nicole..

Mon, 18 May 2009 01:01:45 +0000

Had this song on repeat for the past couple of days.. Another reason for dudes to consider the wider ramifications of their actions before jumping in the marriage bag!

For all who had absentee fathers – enjoy this! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIU_rfoW77U]

Lyrics HERE. The story behind the song HERE

Untitled....

Mon, 18 May 2009 00:05:00 +0000

Dancing to the heady beats of many drums;
Beguiled into believing I’ve filled my place,
I glide then bow, to rapturous applause.
When all I have done was save my face.

Deep down I know it’s all a sham, a façade,
That gloomy place where make believe is hailed,
And truth is lost in a swirl of dust, a charade,
Where light, like sight, is blurred by drums of ale.

Obsequies?

Fri, 15 May 2009 19:16:45 +0000

With gratitude to ‘God’ for a life well spent, and with deepest sorrow and condolences to her survivors, I the undersigned wish to announce the passing away of our most loyal, productive and dearly beloved friend, helper, encourager and employee – the one and only Miss Eleganza Biro, which sad event occurred on the 15th of May 2009 after a brief illness.

Miss Biro assumed duties as examination biro at B &A on the 4th of December 2008 and presided over a very fruitful period of examinations, the highlight of which was improving average performance by over 60% year on year. In recognition of such stellar performance, she was promptly elevated to the position of Biro-at-large, one she held until her recent untimely death.

Life is Hard Work

Thu, 14 May 2009 12:06:00 +0000

Quite frankly life is hard work - plans and programs are all well and good… It is in the dirty places, the grime infested workplaces that real change occurs. Rubber hitting the road, people knuckling down and acting on the decisions, plans and thoughts that they have created.

Think - Plan - But then I need to ensure I am Doing stuff!

On..... Sustainable Development

Thu, 14 May 2009 00:07:27 +0000

Humanity has the ability to make development sustainable – to ensure that it meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.

From Our Common Future(The Brundtland Report)

P.S: This does relate to what I’m reading at the moment…

8 days and then.....

Mon, 11 May 2009 08:13:50 +0000

Sorry peeps – Had my hands so full that I barely had the time to read blogs or even comment.. Thanks y’all for the love you continue to show…

So I’ve got 8 days to the big kick off.. The final exams that would go a long way to determine how successful my high stakes gamble to head back to school was.. Spent the better part of last week studying intensely, and I sense I’m slowly getting into the ZONE.. That place where all that’s left is a cold appreciation of the task ahead and quiet optimism that you’ve given it your best shot!

A haiku for unrequited love

Fri, 08 May 2009 23:57:00 +0000

Wanting more I pined. Though I knew t’was all in vain, I did not give up.

Loving you I hoped, Someday you would see my plight. That has never been.

Spitting words, I wished My missives would arrive in peace. But they never did.

You said to leave us As we were. Just friends. No strings That would never be

Forgive me if I’m Recalcitrant, hard to shake, I am flesh and blood.

On six pack abs, and my all new 6-week mega program!

Fri, 08 May 2009 01:55:19 +0000

I never had a six pack. Even at the height of my athletic prowess, back in the day when I was the starting defensive midfielder a la Dietmar Hamman for my departmental soccer team (hey, only for two games, but I was first choice!), I still had that tell- tale bele– the ineluctable consequence of blasting moles of eba at Mama Clara’s Buka 12. Way back then, it was still possible to grab three wraps of eba, and a ring of fish with a mixture of egusi and ogbono soups for all of twenty naira. And us kpakorized Engineering boys duly worked it to a fault, thanks to Mama Clara delivering piping hot eba timed to perfection. Thursday with Baba Sala was our nadir; 7 straight hours of back breaking, morale sapping, soul mortifying Engineering drawing made us prime candidates for a double dose of the Campus-famous eba and mixture that was Buka 12’s specialty - first at 8.30am enroute DO2 and then by 4.30pm on the way back.

On the drudgery of study....

Tue, 05 May 2009 15:44:15 +0000

Totally unintelligible post alert!

Mehn… I tire for this book marra o…. Oyinbo sef talk say ‘all work and no play go turn persin to jackie’… Na im make me come try yarn some small okpata; make e no come be like say I dey turn kolo……Shey una grab? No min’ me o.. I just dey try clear my o gor, make small space for correct book fit still dey… Aftera.. I no thief persin certificate o.. Dem no dey die put jare!

The cycle of life

Mon, 04 May 2009 11:23:00 +0000

Age, chronological or otherwise, slowly creeps up on us. Once upon a time we were a tiny cell, birthed by the fusion of gametes which then morph into a tiny organism. With time, we grow bigger and then get birthed - being thrust out into the hardened world called life. We age: grow bigger, develop facial hair, deepened voices, broader chests.. and then the gray hair… leading to the inevitable slide towards old age and death… ..a self-perpetuating cycle.

The Promise

Sun, 03 May 2009 18:50:00 +0000

I promised you I would wait, All those many years ago. Alas my steely resolve is faint, And my strength is all but gone.

The space I meant for you alone, I’ve somehow rented out for lust. Things I should tell you alone, I’ve muttered to ears in throes of lust

Images of you, once crystal clear, Have blurred with time to rusty flakes. The flames of love you once inspired, Have somehow being replaced by fakes.

The Mid-life Crisis - well sort of...

Sat, 02 May 2009 18:57:00 +0000

Sometimes clarity hits you suddenly, at other times the obvious slowly becomes apparent. I don’t quite know any more which case my epiphany was – bottom line though is that at some stage I finally realized that I had the beginnings of a mid life crisis in hand. On the surface though, life was great - good prospects, nice reputation, the whole nice guy persona, great friends and a life most people would envy. The harsh reality though is that life couldn’t be farther than that!

Selah...

Sat, 02 May 2009 00:00:00 +0000

When its all been said and done
And the sums have all been done.
When the music has been stopped;
And the dance floor has been cleared
Will I have danced in my own place,
Or merely saved my face?

Selah

Demystifying...

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:18:48 +0000

LONG POST ALERT….

First off a big shout out to all the peeps I met with or spoke with during my trip to Nigeria - Doug, PoeticallyTinted and Naughty Eyes. You peeps made the calisthenics of moving around Lagos less torturous.. Dante, I dey vex big time.. We go ruff things when next I enter LasGidi.. Mscheeew.. Hmmm.. Belated birthday wishes too to Funms of the paused journey….. No do anyhow o!!!!

Thankfully, you peeps didn’t ask me any really hard questions, so here are the answers..You’ll not get under DB’s skin ever again.. So savor the moment.. LOL

On the inherent inefficiencies in eating pounded yam!

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 07:19:53 +0000

I absolutely adore African food - I made it a point of duty to eat everything from amala, eba, party jollof rice, beans, moi-moi, yam porridge, nkwobi, and that peculiar Cally town culinary delight of Ekpangnkukwo as well as a sampling of soups - ogbono, egusi, afang, editan, afia efere (hmmmm), and even gala and several FanMilk icecreams flavours all in the space of 12 days. In fact, the ability to make piping hot akara is a key requirement of the future Mrs DB!

Absurd? Or maybe its 'Just Fine'....

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 12:26:00 +0000

Found this news story on the daily telegraph… Apparently in the relatively quiet backwaters of Sunderland, a certain Mr and Mrs Cartwright could potentially face jail term over violation of an anti-social behavior order.. The crime? Noise making of a curious kind! If only I could get them to sort out the French flatmate I have who persists in bothering my celibate ears every two weeks, that would be just fine!!!!

Back...... and thoughts on People and Airport Lounges

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:48:44 +0000

So after a maelstrom 12 days of travel and activity; 7 cities, 4 major events, and lots of travel time I’m finally back to hopefully face my books squarely. Thankfully, I met all but one of the 9 key objectives I set out to achieve. I had three full hours to kill at Heathrow both ways and for want of something more mentally challenging to do, I decided to try to categorize the African/ Naija people around.. I thought they fit broadly into ten categories.. Enjoy….

My very own 'Bachelor's Conundrum'

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 02:33:13 +0000

I’m at a crossroad of sorts – not life threatening, not even 5-year-plan shaking just yet, but a conundrum nonetheless…

There is the gravitation towards SAFETY; the attraction to the proverbial tried and tested terra firma, then there is the lure of ADVENTURE; the exhilarating heights that finally conquering some not so far-flung terra incognito promises, and then there is the potential SATISFACTION that finally decomposing a thorny problem promises…

Finally Home.

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 06:48:00 +0000

For TheB, and all the other broken hearts…

On Virtual Communities... Again...

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 11:20:35 +0000

Quite an interesting discussion the last post generated. I for one believe that virtual communities have their place, but they should not be allowed to upstage our real life relationships. I’ve made real friends from blogging that I would include in my Top Ten all time friends, but that has come about because at some stage I, or they reached out and made contact beyond what the very open forum of blogging can provide. I’ve tried to summarize the positions you all held and tried to comment.. Enjoy… Farida talked about the opportunity to raise issues and fight injustices via the vehicle of blogging: I agree explicitly with you on that one. The global accessibility that the internet provides makes it a great tool to raise awareness on topical issues – if people get to read it that is. With the level of internet penetration in Nigeria though, I’d be very surprised if blogs do not merely cater to the already intellectually aware.

On Technology.... Flickering Pixels...

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:07:32 +0000

I jumped at the chance to participate in BlogTourSpot’s review of Shane Hipps new book: Flickering Pixels – How Technology Shapes Your Faith for two reasons. I was at a stage where I thought the clutter of technology was squeezing sense out of my normal life, plus I’d get a copy of the book for free.

The author’s background is in advertising, which has given him a unique insight into the working of media and how it is changing how we think, which ultimately affects how we share and live out our faith. The book sets out in broad strokes the insidious dangers that the changes media brings to our lives can generate, and by sounding out a clarion call, we can be on the lookout for them and avoid them as they arise. Several key points stand out 1. All Faith is based on communication – either from God to us or between us as adherents, and the way we primarily communicate affects our interpretation of our faith. 2. Each more ‘efficient’ means of communication we pick up has a dark side – it increases the propensity to clutter rather than clarify. 3. Media is not neutral – the message we actually get from communicating is both dependent on the message and the medium. 4. Pictures & Images (such as television) hijack our imagination. Words and printed matter however encourage us to generate our own images of the concepts being discussed, as opposed to being fed an image which in reality is one man’s interpretation of the words behind the image. 5. We have slowly become a tribe of individuals – sharing experiences on an unprecedented scale (shared experiences build community, a ‘tribal’ ethos) but yet utilizing the self same tools to build an illusion of closeness whilst in reality, it is only yet another layer of interaction, another screen between the real us and the next person. 6. For Christians, we are both the medium and the message and all other forms of communication should only be to facilitate that primary, face to face communication model, not replace it.

Live in Las Gidi

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:19:38 +0000

well……. db is live in las gidi after much! thankfully the peeps @ mtn reactivated my contract, so i’m good to roll…albeit intermittently via a USB connection between my lappie and my phone! now i need to locate ‘mama put’ for some piping hot amala and ewedu soup…

keep those questions for the 29th rolling in..looking very interesting already…..

cheers peeps!

A Final lyrical response to... 'The scathing sonnet'

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:37:00 +0000

Minerva in all her dainty, god-like, grandeur failed to walk,
On the slippery inclines you choose to run.
Buxom Efik Princesses turned tail and baulked,
But you bashfully refuse away to turn.

Like Polaris oblivious to the lure of southern skies,
Unfazed by the heady fumes that rise so high,
I refrain in spite of many tries,
From Cupid’s fiery barbs which doth truly fly.

Shall you, o little lady, proceed?
Where others of ilk more intense have floundered?
Shall your sultry charms succeed?
Where others of great skill have turned and surrendered?

Off to Nigeria........... A Mini Hiatus...

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:33:52 +0000

Hey peeps…

I’ve got a number of key projects to deliver in April - off to Nigeria for a number of weddings, and massive book work issues to resolve. I’ll thus be off on a mini-hiatus for a large portion of April, aside of two key posts; a review of Shane Hipps book Flickering Pixels: How Technology Shapes Your Faith sometime next week, as well as my Blogference for the 29th. As I cannot confirm that I will have access to the internet, I may not be able to do blog rounds or respond to your comments within the period. If you can lay your hands on the Shane Hipps book, do give it a read. I expect it will make for a stimulating discussion.Do keep the questions flowing in, and have a great month!

Risposta Ad Una Sfida - A response....

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:03:00 +0000

Totally beserk she plies her trade,
Enchantingly verbose, weaving her tirades.
Mired in Nigeria, books became her fad.
Inspired blocks of verse, besmirching her façade.
Titillating? No mark that a charade.
Enchantingly refreshing, she makes the music fade.

On 'Normative Determinism'........and rebranding Nigeria!

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 00:55:10 +0000

I was talking to a couple of elderly peeps back in 9ja a few weeks ago and the case of a son who seems to be intent on self-destruction came up. The father opined that the chaps name might be part of the problem - his name is Ojo (I understand its given to a child whose birth was particularly difficult) and his moniker was Ojo-Jogbon (which seems to carry a connotation of a trouble maker). I decided, just for the fun of it to see what research had been carried out on the subject, and was shocked to discover a whole body of knowledge exists on it - aptly called normative determinism. Ochuko blogged about his name and its meaning, as did justdoyin’s post where a Noel Gist was talking about rumours!

3 years on.. The Journey...

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:53:10 +0000

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my first ever blog post. What started off as an anger induced journey on my old blog-city blog(which was deleted when blog-city stopped being free)in 2006 has since evolved into a more serene take on life and the attendant twists and turns it brings to the random thoughts of a weird 9ja dude. To celebrate, I’ve decided upon due consultation, to hold a Blogference - a la Vera, where I get to answer any questions you care to ask. Whilst I cannot guarantee an answer to any and every question, I will do my best to provide an answer within the confines of two conditions - that the answers do not compromise my already tenuous grip on anonymity nor will they require me to compromise any other person’s anonymity. I expect to be able to do a post on the 29th of April (when my first extant blogger post was posted) to answer them. Questions may be asked via comments to this post or by email to raz9ijaboi@yahoo.co.uk .

7 random quotes... and 2 songs......

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:14:17 +0000

1. That a mad man decides to dance naked does not mean that sane men should beat the drums ~ West African proverb.

2.Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. ~ Viktor Frankl

3. Never give in. Never, never, never, never — in nothing, great or small, large or petty — never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ~ Winston Churchill

On being so predictable....

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:44:00 +0000

“You really are so predictable”, she said,
One hazy African harmattan day
Remiss for words, all I could do was peer,
Through horn rimmed glasses; hand me downs they were
From father, who had it from his father, my grandfather.
A legacy of Lugard’s Nigeria.

You see I’m from another time,
An age when email was not the norm,
When people talked at the village square.
And drank and sang, and danced till their feet were sore.
And fathers, spoke with sons, as did their very own fathers..
A legacy of years gone by

To Zoe.......

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:24:00 +0000

I wonder why I lose my cool,
When your pretty face I see.
I wonder why my heartbeats increase,
And why I just act like a fool.

I’m usually as cold as a tool,
As steady as Polaris keel.
I, whose composure is a well honed skill,
Have suddenly begun to drool.

I want to hold your hand someday,
Walk you home, through thick and thin,
Tell tales of love that leave me flustered.

The GbomoGbomo Chronicles........

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:36:52 +0000

Just Toluwa claims to think in her language which I’d assume is Yoruba. I, Akpenvwoghene DB, think in Pidign English; not the rarified widely intelligbile variant as spoken by the Fine boy Agbero but the razz, crass variant, spoken in the creeks of the Niger delta where my progenitors trace their ancenstry to. A number of people have cast aspersions on my Pidgin English abilities, as well as the appropriateness or otherwise of my raz9ijaboi moniker. This should put an end to it forever! Enjoy

A poem..... and an unusual source of inspiration..

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:48:00 +0000

Good Naija Girl posted a poem about (I think) some dudes’ overbloated impression of the effect they have on women folk….Fortunately or unfortunately, I fell headlong into the trap…. Some background: My eminently royal ‘wowo’ness was strolling ‘jejely’ on the road yesterday o, when my eyes locked with some snazzy babe across the road.. Evidently she was as suprised as me, cos the books she was carrying slipped from her grasp…. Like all peeps ‘hounded’ by an overactive imagination, I went ahead to invent a different scenario in my head, that had me being a super cool, unsettling influence..I even gave her a name…. Enjoy…

The curious case of my not so idiopathic insomnia and two memes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:37:42 +0000

Its almost 2am and I can’t sleep… Some dude got me mightily worked up this evening and my vexation almost knew no bounds.. That prompted me to spew my shortlived rant, which I’ve thankfully deleted. Sowwrry for over exciting you over nothing. I’m over it now anyways…Since I am awake, I might as well do these memes that have been hanging over my head for a whiles now.. First off Naijababe tagged me in February and then both Tigress and Poeticallytinted tagged me with the honest scrap award fairly recently. Since Naijababe’s list is lonnger than 10 items, i will take that as a neccesary and sufficient condition to claim the honesty award! Here goes…

Reflecting..... Three Ideas for Life

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 16:30:15 +0000

Over the past few days, the transience of life has been brought very forcibly to the forefront of my mind. Maybe it’s the new streak of grey in my beard, or the news of yet another young acquaintance who is no more, or it’s the startling realization that the kids who were born the year I completed undergrad study are all knocking on the door of their teenage years…. The various random thoughts coursing daily through my head have agglomerated around three key concepts - Cogitation, Connection and Contribution.

Classified... Certified e-Akara maker required

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:49:15 +0000

Err… so all in one week – I grilled chicken to dryness and almost set off fire alarms, my diet has consisted only of spaghetti, chicken and chips, I woke up today craving/lusting for piping hot akara, and my mum has been on my case. So I am putting out a classified ad for a certified akara maker. Enjoy

Job Title: Certified e-Akara Maker Req ID: JustDB-09-20/2011 Category: Multiple Location: StuckVille, Limboland

The Fear of Google......

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:34:15 +0000

If the internet made information globally available, Google made it accessible…A few weeks back, someone ‘googled’ my real name and could have been able to piece together a considerable amount of my history – stuff like my secondary school and the year I left, my University, my father’s name and some of the work he’s done, my work history, comments I’d made on some blogs in my real name and some stuff I was rightly ashamed to be associated with - like the mug shot i uploaded to the Liverpool website’s worldwide fan database!

Finally.. The Truth about Di....

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:12:15 +0000

My last post on soulmates came just about as close as it could get without being ultra personal.. Truth is I once thought I had a soulmate who I thought I had finally gotten over. Talking with someone over the weekend however rudely awakened me to the fact that I had not!

Di checked all my boxes - not just in a physical way. Warm and bubbly, super spiritual without coming across as obnoxious, intelligent, able to discuss on anything from calculus to zoology and with a really mature head on her shoulders, it looked like it was chemistry on steroids. Plus we were good friends for 20+ years….

Quick Question...... Soulmates?

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 00:05:00 +0000

Got into a somewhat emotive discussion with someone today that indirectly led to this question.
Is there such a thing as a “Soulmate”? Or is “Love” simply the intersection of two stochastic loci? i.e. is there “The One” or its all a random thing…

Telephone conversation.....And the Case of the (over) roasted chicken parts...

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:52:00 +0000

Update: I’ve renamed my blog “Just Thinking” to reflect the more thoughtful mode I seem to be slipping into day by day…

Me Ma and I have a cordial relationship; not the lovey dovey, mushy eyed, i-miss-you-always kind, but more like a pragmatic, mutually respecting, i-have-your-back-so-you-can-call-me-if-you-have-an-ish kind. My bad though, I’d not called her for a week so she was just a weee bit justified in calling me up.

Apparently, she had done quite a bit of running around for my kid sister’s wedding in April and she needed to vent. Only snag though was that I knew that was only the hook, the full gist would encompass many other things….. Plus I was grilling some chicken, and fantasizing about the eating part.

Another reason to look before you leap.........

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:15:00 +0000

Found this piece on the BBC Website that quotes some US research in asserting that women are at a greater risk of suffering health damage from failed marriages than their male partners in suffering. Apparently by studying 276 couples who had been married for an average of 20 yrs, it was shown that women tended to report more depression and to be at a greater risk of showing metabolic syndrome… Whilst the underlying reasons are still not fully understood, some factors considered for being responsible include women’s more complex emotional makeup and their tendency to worry more amonst others.

The 25 random things meme...

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:35:00 +0000

Did this silly meme on Facebook a while back…..Just tot to share it on here too….

1. I’m left handed… and that has always made people think I’m smarter than I really am..

2. Had perfect vision until I was struck by a soccer ball directly during a game.. Still took me another 10 years before I accepted to use glasses – and that was only because I failed an eye test during a routine medical at my last job.

Newton's First Law of (e)Motion

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:07:00 +0000

“Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.” _
_
I was involved in a little discussion on my FB wall with a friend of mine on Newton’s Laws of Motion when I inadvertedly typed “straight lin emotion” instead of “straight line motion”… Our discussion quickly switched to how the three laws were largely symptomatic of human behavior. After several back and forths, we finally agreed on this interpretation…

Thanks........ and the list guy's 15 items!

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 23:29:00 +0000

Blogsville peeps – Thanks for all the kind words of advice and unique insights you served up whilst I was trying to come to terms with my Journey of Rediscovery!

A big cup of coffee is currently keeping me awake, so I decided to head off to Boundless.org to see what they had to serve up and found this cool article which tried to list some of the different things between guys and girls..

Rediscovering Me

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 07:15:00 +0000

The wind is moving, but I am standing still A life of pages, waiting to be filled A heart that’s hopeful, a head that’s full of dreams But this becoming, is harder than it seems Feels like I’m Looking for a reason, roamin’ through the night to find My place in this world, my place in this world Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find My place in this world, my place in this world

Don't waste...............your mugging!

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:20:00 +0000

I heard John Piper tell a story in a message today from his “Don’t Waste Your Life Conference” based on the Julio Diaz story…

Apparently the guy’s a social worker and, like all chronic Bachelors, frequents a particular diner for his evening meal on the way back from work on Fridays. On this day, he was ambushed by a would-be mugger. Rather than attempt to struggle, Diaz proceeded to offer his coat, and then dinner to the teenager.

And so the elusive 19th runs away..... Yet again!!!!

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:52:00 +0000

Guess its finally over now…. Liverpool’s bid for the elusive 19th title has finally imploded, left limping by a collection of draws at home against the stoke citys, fulhams, Hull Citys and co this season, the final blow to severe the jugular seems to have been struck yesterday.. And for good measure, it had to come from an ex-Liverpool player from the Blue half of Manchester……

That leaves the Champions League to look towards – and with the kind of form Barca were in until this weekend, a Real Madrid finally getting into their stride and a host of other decent teams still in with a shout, it could be another long trek back home without any silverware. This summer the Yanks, Rafa, Parry and everyone at this football club needs to take a long hard look at how the season turned out. In a season that was ours for the taking, we imploded in January and handed the initiative to the Mancs….

Gaining weight -- What options?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 18:01:00 +0000

Is it “un-African” to be a slim girl? I ask because I was talking to an old friend of mine a couple of days ago. She’d seen a picture of moi on FB with like 10 kg extra from my suffering University years and was lamenting that she had stayed the same weight over all the years..

Apparently the big issue was that at some Houston party, some dude tried to “toast” her by saying she looked like his younger sister who was still in High School.. Quite rightly, my friend was indignant especially considering she’s 28ish at the moment and the dude in question was barely out of college. Her solution to that is that she needs to bulk up and “push out a bit of hips n backassi” to “look slightly like my ancestors”. Unfortunately, I have acquired a reputation for dispensing advice (although I don’t take my own advice), so her question was what options did she have for bulking up…

Wilberforce.... On Social Responsibility

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:05:00 +0000

If to be feelingly alive to the sufferings of my fellow-creatures is to be a fanatic, I am one of the most incurable fanatics ever permitted to be at large.

William Wilberforce (Abolusionist & Member of Parliament)

Game Theory.. And the age old question of the comode seat...

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:58:00 +0000

Nefertiti’s Journal of an angry woman post a few weeks back raised the issue of comode seats and the age old flashpoint of dudes who do not lower it after use……. It reminded me of something I’d seen on the internet a whiles back, where an Indian Economist, Hammad Siddiqi, took Game Theory, and applied it to this problem…..

His conclusions? For dudes, leaving the seat down is an “inefficient operation” which provides the justification for them not wanting to do it, even if it takes a nano-second of their lives. For girls, its a “trembling hand perfect equilibrium”… ie they may assume that it will happen, but in reality it has a low probability of occurence……

V-Day Blues.......

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 06:25:00 +0000

So I spent V-Day at home, with a tall glass of milk (make that several), a pack of tortilla chips flavored with some hot sauce (i forget the name) from Marks and Spencer, alternating between playing FM2009 on my laptop, popping into Facebook from time to time and trawling blogsville for the slightest attempt of a post by anyone that i hadn’t commented on whilst making sure to avoid all the mushy Hollywood guy-meets-girl-and-they-fall-in-love make believe sold as movies to the unsuspecting… Given that meant my books were left unattended to for a whole day, (unthinkable - considering i shelled out 13k pounds before the pound went into freefall that is) it might have counted as a day completely wasted…

A different take on the "Stimulus Bill"

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:36:00 +0000

Found this interesting review of the Stimulus Bill on www.Boundlessline.org… While I will not pretend to know enough about economics to join issues with the American Plan to pump about $1.2 trillion into the US economy to stimulate growth, a few of the items on the shopping list seem downright absurd to me.. A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers, $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program, $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters, $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters, $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities, $6 billion to turn federal buildings into “green” buildings, $75 million to construct a “security training” facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies, $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems and $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations sounds like a political scam of “Nigerianesque” proportions… But then maybe our Naija politicians are understudying the American model in the first place…. Join the debate here and read the full text here

Jim Elliot on what really matters....

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 01:55:00 +0000

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

Jim Elliot (Missionary to Ecuador and Martyr)

An abandoned Bugatti.......and an Innovative Solution to the Credit Crunch...

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 01:09:00 +0000

An abandoned Bugatti has just been sold for £3million pounnds in the UK.. In the midst of the credit crunch somebori was able to cough out that amount of money… Hmmmm… All you peeps whose parents still have a 1986 Volkswagen Bettle, or a vintage 1975 Peugeout 404 saloon car, hold on to it.. Maybe in the year 2100, your great grand children could rake in a few million quid….. That is if global warming doesn’t wipe the planet by then…… More on that story here

Piper on why we do not hunger for God.....

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 21:24:00 +0000

The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife

Name dropping........ By T-Bone and Eric Dawkins...

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:10:00 +0000

Have been listening to a bit of rap music in the past few weeks – decided to explore some other music genres for a change - instead of the rock-esque stuff I’ve largely listened to in the past… Stumbled on this song by T-bone and Eric Dawkins… While the beats are OK, what caught my attention was how he incorporated the names of a number of other Christian peeps into the body of the rap. The words in full CAPS are the names of contemporary christian musicians….. Enjoy…

When death calls...

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:03:47 +0000

They say the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh… Heard some really heart wrenching news today after signing on to Yahoo Messenger on a whim. An old friend of mine is no more - dead.. The worst part is that she’d been dead for over a year, and I only got to know today.

On Liverpool and a contentious Super Bowl Ad.......

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Can’t seem to understand how the wheels have come off the Liverpool challenge for the Premiership this season… At some stage we looked like we were going to pull away and then Rafa “Tinkerman” Benitez ran his mouth too far and its all gone bonkers since then.. Disappointing draws against Everton and Stoke in games we should have finished off and then a deeply disappointing penalty given away by that crappy dude Lucas have contrived to very clearly hand the initiative to the Manure yet again.. Considering that if the Mancs win, they will equal our prestigiuos 18 championships, it beggars belief as to how the events have turned out…. If it was in Nigeria, and robbers could turn to goats to escape detection, I would have averred that Sir Alex Fungusen had visited the Okija shrine, and obtained a potion for orchestrating the demise… Be that as it may 11 clean sheets takes some beating, and as my worst fears from earlier on in the season have all but been confirmed…….

Embarrassed...... and then a 'gene' for making friends...

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 08:16:00 +0000

Had one of my most embarrassing moments in class a couple of days back.. I’ve not recovered from the lousy sleep patterns i picked up while studying for exams..As such I’ve basically being only able to get to sleep in the 2.30 am - 4am time frame. Coupled with the fact that serious (boring) lectures have started, its been a real serious irritant… Things definitely went pear shaped a few days back when in the midst of a very boring lecture, sleep started trying to blast my eyes.. I tried every trick i knew - chewing gum, bouncing my feet, forcing my eyes to focus on the board - all to no avail.. Most embarrassing moment occurred when i actually fell asleep and let out a miniature snore…..Thankfully, it was nipped almost in the bud.. But it still drew a few peals of laughter from the peeps in the class.. Almost felt like I should just vanish.. Anyways I think I’m over it now…

Random Quote.. Ravi Zacharias...

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 23:30:00 +0000

No real update today, so i decided to share a quote from some of the stuff I’ve been listening to..

The only thing worse than nostalgia is amnesia…

- Ravi Zacharias

Finally, the reason why women cheat.... LOL

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 07:41:00 +0000

Found this story on Yahoo via an RSS feed….Its supposed to be some ground breaking research on why women cheat – apparently there’s a conection between a certain hormone and the likelihood of women getting hit on by men….. Have a great read…

Drifting apart..

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:35:03 +0000

BG called me today. There is clearly a drifting apart here. The bulk of her talk was based on the rash of people who’ve ended relationships in the last few weeks, including a number of close mutual friends. My cousin Ella thinks there are self esteem issues involved here and that I needed to reassure her of my 100% commitment. She and I are drifting apart… I just know.. Sigh.. :(

The 2 truths, one lie meme Results....

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 09:28:00 +0000

Tigress, Good Naija Girl, Jaycee, AbujaMaiden, Olufunke all got the right answers… Unfortunately, yours truly is a back to school dude again, so there are no prizes for guessing correctly.. Maybe if i grab the new job I’m chasing, I’ll hold a celebration party on the moon.. LOL…

1. I spent most of my childhood years growing up on a University Campus. - True. Fortunately or unfortunately I’m was one of those kids who had sharp parents that I was always being compared with.. Thankfully, i decided to chase a different sort of job, else i would still be getting comparisms till date. Naughty Eyes thought we might know each other in real life.. Quite possibly, but then maybe that’s why I’m “the guy next door”..

The case of the old school mates.... and other random thoughts...

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:38:00 +0000

Just wondering what it is with old school mates hooking up after many years… Have heard of three weddings in the last 2 months between people who were old secondary school classmates of mine…. Plus there’s one more to attend in 9ja in April – sincerely hope i can make that on its a valid excuse to hit 9ja… The pair who are getting married in April didn’t actually talk much between themselves when we were in school, well as far as I know, so i can’t just place the source of the sudden affinity..But then maybe its more a case of sticking with what you know versus venturing into worlds unknown in dating someone fresh…..

Exam fever..

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:31:56 +0000

Against my better judgement, I went back to school for a dose of ‘adult’ education, after nearly six years of slaving for the capitalists working. Its exam time and I am not finding it funny. Hours on end of swotting, tons of material to store in my head and a few non academic thoughts running through my head. There is also the minor distraction of Football Manager on my laptop… Thanks to Jaguda.com radio, I have music for comfort through the night. Thankful for minor miracles after all….

3 down -- 2 to go and Naughty Eye's Meme...

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:57:00 +0000

Completed the 3rd of 5 papers today.. Guess aside of the 2nd one (which had everybody completely fooled), the’ve been ok.. Hopefully results should start trickling in, in a couple of weeks and I’ll be able to know if the distinction thingy is viable or not… Got tagged on this 2 truths, one lie thingy by Naughty eye.. So here goes…

I spent most of my childhood years growing up on a University Campus.
I’ve spent weekends at Tinapa, Obudu Cattle ranch and on a ship.
I’ve worn glasses since I was six years old.

Edit… Somehow I forgot to tag anyone the first time of asking.. But then maybe that was because I failed to make a note to do that on my spreadsheet…..LOL.. I’m picking comments on my blog at random and tagging ppl as a result.. There’s no “method to this madness…..” So here’s the tag:

Finally, the exams....Going MIA...

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:08:00 +0000

WOW.. Finally the 1st semester exams are here… 3+ months of course work, lectures, field trips, discussion classes and library work are going to be put through a comprehensive test over the course of the next two weeks…. I’ve got this nervy, on-the-edge feeling – which in the past has served me so well.. Hopefully, I can harness it again and make a strong statement of intent per this MSc program… The stakes are kinda high – was grudgingly granted approval to pursue the Msc by my 9ja bosses – so I need to lay down a marker and let them know it was worth the gamble…..

Memories from the pre-black sheep years.....

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 14:43:00 +0000

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs”

Jonah 2:8……

Over-elaborating...

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:26:15 +0000

Whoever said Don’t Fix what ain’t broke was speaking out of the right side of their minds. Best believe me!

In a queer way, I am a victim of trying to over-elaborate. Life was good – great job with decent prospects, a fair amount of money in the bank and the security being around family afforded. In a fit of petulance at a work decision that went a tad bit awry, I headed back to school to chase an MSc.

Dance of The Mountain God..

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:34:00 +0000

Another one from my poetry scrap book.. Wrote this one while serving the fatherland in Kwara State.. This was inspired while watching some “white-garment” chruch devotees dance and clap from the window of the class where i was invigilating an exam… Enjoy it….

The Dance of the Mountain god…
The claps begin,
Slow, petulant,
Like tiny drops of rain which then increase,
As feet pound the rocks, oblivious of the pain,

"52 weeks to find him" and an old beauty soap commercial....

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 08:16:00 +0000

Stumbled on this interesting “experiment” by Neenah Pickett. She’s taken the initiative to set up a personal website for dudes to come find her. Let’s see how it shapes up, hopefully it should open some not-normally-open doors.. Pray some of our sharp “Yahoo Yahoo” boys don’t spin her a smooth love story and bail with some of her money.. Or use her to gain a chance to sneak into America…

Can’t seem to remember how i managed to get into a discussion of soap commercials yesterday. Apparently, my flatmate had been talking with someone in Nigeria and they’d talked about the old Joy beauty soap advert where the Joy girl has a bath and takes a walk - making briefcases pop open, people overfil their glasses, doors slam shut on people’s hands - general mayhem i think…… Heard some Nigerian comedian has done a joke about being around such a girl.. If anyone has a link to a video I’d like to see it please… Have a great week y’all.. and hope the new year resoultions/ goals/ plans are making sense?….

The 2009 Master Plan...

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:24:00 +0000

2008…What a year…Seems like it was only yesterday when my friend and I drove to church to attend the New year Service and to get the year rolling……Lots of stuff have happened to and around me.. Wonder what the highlights were tho…

On a personal note heading back to school ranks up there… One humid March evening, I finally decided I’d had enough of working on the edge; after spending the 4th straight weekend at work trying to troubleshoot a pipeline problem…. Got home that night,and started the online application that has landed me on the MSc program I’m currently on…..apparently to the distaste of my bosses - who told me they thought I was doing fine without the MSc and that it was unnecessary….Who cares? I needed to keep my sanity……My cause can’t be helped by the fact that a number of chaps also decided to flee in my wake too… duh…

New Year, New start, New Life...

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:41:36 +0000

I think I am lost…. Caught in the never land between here and there, and never quite fitting into either. The last eighteen months have been intense - filled with activities which have changed me. Some came close to breaking me - like losing my Nigerian job, like enduring that nasty breakup, like feeling like the world caved in all at once… I like to imagine I survived, and am slowly picking the pieces of my life back up and together again.

'27 dresses', Peanut Butter and a somewhat Merry Christmas....

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:02:00 +0000

Thanks to y’all who wished me a Merry Christmas. In view of the fact that I was stuck in Europe, that was the best I could have hoped for. Unfortunately there was no “White Christmas” where I was —so my plan to take some pictures with snow to finally convince the “Doubting Thomases” that I was indeed somewhere in Europe failed to materialize….

Found out that I have this unquenchable “lust” for peanut butter… Yours truly ate it with everything over the Christmas - bread, rich tea biscuits, mixed with pasta.. I would be embarassed to even mention some of the things I did with it….Hopefully I’ll not add more than a few kilograms, and my regular brisk walks will burn it all off…. lol…

Ruminating......

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 08:50:00 +0000

WOW.. Went to church yesterday and was wowed by the Christmas story presentation put up… Everything from the kids singing “silent night” to the the main choir singing an up-beat rocky version of “Joy to the World” brought back memories from long ago…..

Liverpool almost gave me the perfect Christmas gift.. but yet again they failed to kill off a game that was there for the taking… Even I, the most die-hard of pragmatic fans - have begun to have real serious doubts about their desire to win the elusive 19th this year.. Have a real fear deep down that we’ll not get a better chance than this year.. with all the “Big Four” bleeding points like snow on a white Christmas….

Random Thoughts....

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:33:00 +0000

Wonder what I need to do to get married to a very rich diva… Boy if i can make 50 million pounds from 9yrs, I’d be made for life.. That definitely will banish all thoughts of a credit crunch to the doldrums “like a bad night’s dream forever”.. Wonder why all these celebs hook up in the first place, if is only to part with loads of cash (maybe its not so hard-earned anyways or it really doesn’t hurt them lose the money). Maybe they do not believe in the love they sing about in their songs too….

Dear Santa......

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:00:00 +0000

JustDB, Dept of Razness, Faculty of 9janess, University of Somewhere, Someplace, SM5 10PL, Wherever. Date: Whenever this reaches you. eMail: Raz9ijaboi@yahoo.co.uk

Dear Santa, I write to table my most sincere wishes for this year’s Christmas tree to you. As you will most graciously remember, none of the things I asked for last year were delivered, possibly because some bully or some tall, dark and handsome dude (in the case of the wonderful girl down the road) hijacked them before they got to me. I understand your best efforts but would appreciate it if you could include some insurance on the postage to ensure I can at least put in a claim if the items get hijacked this year again.

The freedom of anonymity.....and other random tots...

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:09:00 +0000

Spent a couple of minutes speaking with one of my friends.. and suddenly realized how “easy” the internet has made communication….This dude is that half-shy - half-reserved type who can barely keep a conversation going, but is absoutely fabulous on MSN or Facebook.. This dude manages to pull off witty comments that i’ve never heard from him in real life…. I began to wonder if maybe communicating in real time involves so many nuances that most people just wilt rather than communicate effectively…. Make no mistake, this guy is good - he finished in the top two in my class back in 9ja while yours truly finished in the never land of mid-table obscurity (as the football pundits so aptly put it) but the guy never was a talker….

Theifry in Paris......

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:13:00 +0000

Found this story on the BBC website. Its an ambitious heist at a top notch Paris jewelry shop.. Wonder how much publicity this might have gotten if it happened in Nigeria - or online????

Seven Ideas for Life...

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 17:17:00 +0000

Found this interesting article on Boundless.org. Dennis Prager is a Jewish American and a talk show host.. Enjoy his thoughts from the commencement address he gave to the 1997 graduating class of Pepperdine University.

One: The Greatest Struggle Is with Yourself - not with society.. Two: Trust Your Common Sense Three: Race is Unimportant Four: Don’t Leave Your Values at Home Five: Beware of Bad Ideas Six: Behavior Matters More than Intentions Seven: Religion is the True Counterculture

On Anonymity, Make Believe and other random musings...

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 23:45:00 +0000

Just felt i needed to get this off my chest……..

Last week marked the third month of my latest episode in the ongoing saga of “DB goes to school”. I’d been away from my books for about 6 yrs – served the nation for one year and worked 5 - but then a number of work related events made me ask myself the hard questions… On the surface I had a great life - an OK job, loads of wonderful friends, and I was racking up experience in an area of engineering i loved…. But somehow, one morning in March – after yet another emergency at the plant had made me come to work on a sunday and leave by past 9pm – I decided I’d had enough and I applied to a school for an MSc placement…. Got a letter of admission a couple of weeks later, and thus started my journey back to books…..

Exam Fever II...

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:00:00 +0000

WOW..took some advice from y’all on blogsville and joined a discussion group plus reactivated my library card… Have averaged 4 hrs of serious book work a day since sunday… I should be on course to smash my exams at this rate..

Hmm - Just curious but can guys and girls be “just friends”? What do y’all think? I know a dude who’s stuck in limbo land over some young lady who he is “just friends” with and i’m wondering if that category even exists in the first place……. Fire away y’all…

Exam Fever....

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:16:00 +0000

Got a rude shock a couple of days ago… My Degree Program Administrator circulated an email to all of us chaps on the provisional examination timetables.. Exams start off in just over a month and this dude has been chilling instead of reading since… Told my friend that I was having problems motivating myself to read.. His advice? Print out all my fee receipts and my pay slips from 9ja and put them on my white board… His reasoning is that if i keep looking at how much I’ve paid and how much I will not earn this year, I will sit up and read..Great advice anyways..

On Social Responsibility..

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:53:00 +0000

Just saw the shocking videos referenced by the waffarian. Such behavior is not only appalling, it is simply unacceptable. I’d hazard a guess that while Akwa Ibom may be in the spotlight on this issue at the moment, things like these are happening all over the country in the hinterland…

The combination of spiritual zeal and half-baked knowledge has always being a fatal mix. I’m deeply ashamed to admit that I spent a couple of years in Eket and did not realize the full extent of this problem - yes we saw kids on the road and occasionally gave them money - but there was no concerted effort on our part to do something about it.. A couple of expats came together from time to time and provided funding to get some off the streets and into safe houses in other states for their safety - but the overwhelming response from us Nigerians was one of apathy and studied indifference…

Not all things bad are Nigerian....

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 09:06:00 +0000

Found this interesting article about forgeries of academic qualifications by some Asian students who somehow got admitted into Newcastle University.. With all the bad publicity 9ja has been getting (no thanks to crackdowns on journalists, inventive facebook scams and the brutalisation of a certain Ms Okere); its somewhat gratifying that not all things bad are Nigerian. On a more serious note though - what do y’all think drives the need to forge documents to gain entry into a University especially when these Universities have access to a plethora of tool for verifying these documents?

From the archives.....

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:47:00 +0000

A poem I wrote many years ago – when i was still a beardless teenager way back in Nigeria.. Enjoy…

Waiting for forever.

We had our hopes, we had our dreams, We somehow believed,in words and swords, We somehow believed, that one more coup, That some more troops, Would consign to the past, the pains we felt forever.

Somehow we believed, in sugar coated tongues, In “fellow country men”,In “khaki covered men” To wipe away the past, like a bad night’s dream forever..

Rattled by the Fire Alarm...

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:52:00 +0000

Meen – Haven’t felt this miffed in a veery long time… Had a 9am class today, woke up at 6.30am, browsed through blogsville to catch up on all I’d missed over the weekend and popped into the bath.. only for the fire alarm to sound… The silly porters had decided that 8.15am on a Monday morning was the best time to have a fire drill…

The resulting 30 min delay meant i only completed preparation for classes at 9.00am and finally arrived the lecture hall a full 30mins after the lecture had started… Doubt I learned anything form it by the way……

On WHINEger, Manure, Chelski, Rafa TINKERman and a weekend of Premiership Football..

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 22:05:00 +0000

First off an apology – Was tied up with my books (U know old men and books need time to gell together o)..

Looks like some sort of normal service has been restored to the EPL…Prof “WHINEger” getting a response from his boys against the Manure, Anelka shaking off his characteristic lethargy to score twice and send Chelski top of the table again and Robbie Keane getting “the monkey off his back” as Rafa Tinkerman so succintly put it..

Saturday Evening Blues...

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 10:05:00 +0000

Felt really bad last night… Guess the initiating event was Liverpool’s cruel defeat to Tootenham Hotspur after bossing the game for 60ish minutes and scoring as early as the 3rd minute… and the flurry of text messages I got form all over the globe (seriously).. Chaps from Nigeria, the US, the UK and even one from Australia all bombarded my phone with messages on how Liverpool have once again flattered to deceive and all what not….

Me.. and my Facebook

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 23:14:00 +0000

I did the unthinkable today and deleted my Facebook account… Not sure what finally pushed me over the edge but I sure knew it was coming… Possibly it was the three hours wasted after my lectures today responding to comments on my pictures and trawling the profiles of my friends looking for comments to add, or maybe it was the heated exchange I had with some chap over Obama and McCain and how relevant it was to the rest of the world (especially Nigeria) who it was that won… Quite possibly, it was exacerbated by the friendly jibe my best friend’s kid sister threw in my direction - a candid warning to her big sis not to get addicted to FB like yours truly… Or maybe it was the ease with which it is possible to breach the walls of anonymity and become “friends” with someone you’ve never known from the start of evolution - much less from Adam’s time.. Or maybe it was the threat of potential employers snooping around on FB for mug shots of prospective employees…..

Loving Liverpool FC

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:10:00 +0000

Hmm – still awake – time’s 2.12am here but a big cup of coffee is striving to keep me very much awake.. Had an assignment i needed to complete for some lecturer who does his utmost best to come across as recticent all the time and i felt a cup of coffee would help….

Was delighted that my Liverpool team got the win against Portsmouth.. They’d huffed and puffed for 70+ minutes before a moment of madness gited them the winning penalty - Trust Stevie G to respond with a well driven penalty beyond the despairing dive to Calamity James… Hmmm so wat else is happening to me at the moment?

The elusive 19th?

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 08:06:00 +0000

Hmmm – still rubbinng my hands in glee over the most assured Liverpool perfromance at the Bridge since January 2004; calm, disciplined and “arsenalesque” at times with the approach play… Liverpool were good value for the win and much as I’m shied away from saying this is the year of the 19th, i’m slowly building a head of enthusiasim again.. For us all the long suffering Anfield faithful, we pray fervently that The Rotator doesn’t blow it this time and that he keeps the same nucleus that has gelled so well this season.. IMO, Jnaury should bring in a genuine winger who can play on either side and a full back (Fabio, Dossena, Arbeloa) have done OK; not done great as I see it)….

Four Weeks gone..

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 08:01:00 +0000

WOW.. Four weeks have gone by like yesterday.. Four weeks of lectures on Tyneside… Plus nearly two reams of reading materials covering everything from linear wave theory to fracture mechanics.. Meeen this book work ehnn.. Thank God say I even go now, like say I don marry get picki e for rough o…

Anyways I’m grteful for the opportunity to study again and give myself loads of options at the end (ppeline engineering no be yam o!!!)..

Just Chilling - bracing up for week 3!

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 21:16:00 +0000

WOW… finally got through the second full week of lectures on Tyneside.. Calling them hectic wold be a disservcie to the sheer number and length of lectures i’ve had to go through - capped off by a dose of 7 hrs with Prof Phil Hopkins. Anyways i’d say i’m slowly geting back into the groove - except for one kind economics course like dat wey dey make boys sleep well well…

21 days on Tyneside!

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 03:25:00 +0000

WOW.. yesterday made it the 21st consecutive day on Tyneside for moi….I’m grateful for the chance to be away from the frenetic pace of work for a year, but at some stage i’d almost started second guessing my decision to go for an Msc..

All in all the pressure’s slacked off - completed registration, settled in seamlessly, starting to know my way around now and have meet some really cool guys on Tyneside..

The 'Rejected Stone'?

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:52:00 +0000

I wonder how many LFC fans are taking note of the fact that Xabi Alonso has had a big hand in conjuring up the best ever start to a Premier League campaign under Rafa the rotator? Big response from a world class player IMO.. The mere fact that Rafa was willing to pay 18M pounds for a replacement player along with all the constant noise about a move to Juve and then the Ar$e$ seemed to suggest that his Anfield time was up but the impact he’s had amidst average performances from people around him begs the question as to why he was on the way out…Granted last season he was a shadow of himself, and he chose to witness the birth of his kid rather than travel (commendable IMO) but he’s shown his quality in past seasons..

Newcastle.....The waiting game

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 08:17:00 +0000

Crossed the 97% mark this week… Got my ticket to Newcastle via London Heathrow yesterday so as it stands I’m almost good to go.. Still yet to hear anything back from HR yet on how much I owe.. I expect I have it covered tho'

Thot I’d be able to avoid having a sit-out for my chaps – but I’ve been sternly warned that such a course of action will be unacceptable.. Guess I always knew I had no choice on this one..

The Newcastle Agenda

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:28:00 +0000

WOW – The Newcastle agenda crossed the 95% milestone last Friday.. Weeks of nail-biting suspense came to an end.. and when it did it was anti-climatic.. The weeks of palpating excel spreadsheets and evaluating various scenarios came to an end more in a puff of smoke than a roaring volcanic eruption..

I’d skipped work, chartered a cab to Calabar and only arrived just in time to catch the last Arik Air flight to Lagos from Calabar… Flight was eventful, rather bumpy but safe… And then when the brown envelope was in my hands, i only felt a cold, calm detachment..

Diary of a would-be school boy

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:31:00 +0000

Finally worked up the nerve to start blogging about my prospective Newcastle odyssey…. By my excel spreadsheet estimates I’ve crossed the 78% milestone, paid my fees, booked my accomodation, self registered for school, moved my pounds into my dorm account - the works..

Currently waiting on the chaps from the High Commission to make a statement on my application to finally cross the 90% milestone..

As for me all I’m doing is twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the manifestation of the day.,,

Weekend Gists -- PH

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 12:47:00 +0000

WOW – spent my first weekend in Port Harcourt for the first time in nearly two and half years and boy did I thoroughly enjoy myself!!!! The gist was great, the kids were awesome and just being around some really cool friends made my weekend.. Didn’t know I still enjoyed being around kids that much…Great start to my birthday month….

The Fourth Dimension of Quality

Thu, 22 May 2008 08:07:00 +0000

Spent May Day listening to the likes of Fred Thompson, Sharon McPherson, Ibukun Awosika, Leke Alder at the platform (www.theplatformnigeria.com ) .. Fred seems to be big on this TQM thing – Meeting specifications, meeting expectations and providing excitement.. Maybe there is a fourth quality – operating at a more fundamental level — but none the less critical – quality of thought…

What's in a Worldview?

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:05:00 +0000

Russ Bush:

A worldview is that basic set of assumptions that gives meaning to one’s thoughts. A worldview is the set of assumptions that someone has about the way things are, about what things are, about why things are.

St. Augustine of Hippo:

True faith is bound up with reason

James W. Sire (The Universe Next Door):

A worldview is a set of presuppositions (assumptions which may be true, partially true or entirely false) which we hold (consciously or subconsciously, consistently or inconsistently) about the basic make-up of our world.

Missing in Action

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:44:00 +0000

WOW – Been almost a whole long month that I’ve ben away from blogsville – Granted i was never the consumate blogger but i did manage to pop in from time to time to see what was grooving around blogsville.. But this last run was awful - first my ISP was struck by lightning inone of those freak tropical thunderstorms and their equipment got fried.. Then its taken the better part of threee weeks to attempt a fix - Awful - even by Nigerian Private Sector standards.. Only NEPA/ PHCN is more abysmal…

Birthdays, KPIs and Mama's Calls

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 21:34:00 +0000

Phew – I’ve survived another year – Another year of living and working in 9ja with all its attendant issues. I had several close shaves with death in the past 1 year - two car crashes that almost claimed my life (the last one finally totalled my 2001 3.25i BMW and left me with a cut on my head), a massive re-org at work that left 160 people considering what might have been if they’d opted for a different first job instead of tying up with an Oil & Gas major, two flights to and fro Lagos every month inspite of the real issues with the 9ja Aviation industry, several gruelling trips to Benin City from my enclave in the 9ja Delta (a 16hr round trip every 2 months) and most importantly another 1 year of surviving inspite of Mama’s phone calls..

Haunted by a YearBook...

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 19:55:00 +0000

Phew – The “danger” of documentation was brought home to me very forcibly a couple of days ago.. A friend of mine stumbled across an old year book from my campus fellowship (from which I graduated in 2002).

First off the “me” in the picture was several pounds lighter, with bushier hair and the talk – gist of launching my very own ISP wthin 10 years of quititng campus, writing songs and all what not – was a far cry from what I’d actually gone on to do .. Only my name connected the picture of the scrawny 20-something year old guy with the “buff” guy I’d become..

The Marks of Real Manhood

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:17:00 +0000

Found Al Mohler’s (www.albertmohler.com) precise distillation of the essential qualities of would -be husbands and fathers over at Boundless (www.boundless.org). Couldn’t help asking myself if indeed my house was in order.. 13 critical dimensions of manhood from a Christian worldview - a must read for Christian men and the women who love them..

Read the complete article at
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001093.cfm

One Minute Madness

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 05:32:00 +0000

Na wah o!!! Just saw my man ‘Pescara’ nearly trading blows with an ‘Okada’ rider on the road o.. The issue? A hand trolley pusher on the road had strayed off the kerb onto the road and the car he was in had to stop suddenly.. As a result the motor bike behind the svelte 406 he was in slammed into the car’s rear end and fell on the ground.. Rather than the bike man to accept he was wrong and apologize, he launched into a tirade in the local language about ‘people who use stolen money to buy cars and then consitute hazards to other road users"

What Girls Wish You Know?

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 19:58:00 +0000

All – Found this interesting article over at my favorite truth shop - www.boundless.org Comments anyone?

Show some respect. When it comes to respecting women, many Christian guys act no differently than the world. When I hear a man talk about other women disrespectfully, it is an immediate turn-off. Some guys will pour on the charm when they take a girl out on a date, but they don’t demonstrate the same consideration to their female friends. Even something as simple as keeping his house clean, so women feel comfortable when they visit, will make the women in his life feel valued.

9ja wahala

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 14:57:00 +0000

WOW – tot I’d gone AWOL before but this certainly tops them all – No fault of mine though, my lousy ISP here in 9ja decided they needed to switch their US based service provider - and it took them over 1 month to sort out – Well - its good to be back and tho i hate to admit it - the speed’s a tad bit faster now…

Hopefully when the MTNs and GloMobile’s of 9ja decide to turn on the HSDPA switches, they’ll price it within the reach of the avergae 9ja guy and we’ll not be dependent on these half-baked ISPs anymore..

Every Day I Say I Do

Sat, 19 May 2007 06:16:00 +0000

Attended a friend’s wedding fairly recently…Saw a lot of old chums, all nicely dressed, sweet looking gentlemen now – a far cry from the rowdy rabble we were a few years ago on campus. Guess the last time we saw ourselves in that number at one time was way back then in the Uni days..

We talked a lot about a lot but ultimately the discussions gravitated towards the “new life” our man had just stepped into – marriage – and the difficulties in meeting “good girls” at our stage of life. Young up and coming guys who are perceived to be doing well have the unique disadvantage of being seen as “arrived” and thus as good prospects.

The real 'Special One'

Tue, 01 May 2007 21:35:00 +0000

Sincere condolences to Chelsea and their “born again” fans - people who in the vast majority have been converted by a certain Russian’s billions.

Once again on the European stage Benitez has proved to be the master of Mourinho over two legs. Granted Liverpool never looked like scoring at Stamford Bridge (aside of the sublime moment of magic from Steven Gerrad) but Chelsea were also at best lethargic at Anfield.

This PDP tsunami

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:40:00 +0000

I am still reeling from the sham called elections that were held in Nigeria this month. The flagrant abuse of power on the part of PDP, the lack of a credible opposition response and the total disregard of the 60 million (really?) registered Nigerian voters have combined to leave a sickening feeling in the depths of my guts..

I’ve had time to think through the whole process though and find the following salient points worthy of note 1. The PDP won only because they rigged more - every other party with the exception of possibly FRESH and Pat Utomi - attempted to put in place structures to aid and abet rigging in their favor. The PDP landslide only happened because they had more muscle 2. Most of the opposition candidates only featured on the platform of the oppostion because they were unable to gain a toehold in the party that had the “powers that be” in each region. 3. No credible plans and agenda were articulated by the vast majority of persons standing for election.

First-Off

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 01:49:00 +0000

I’m the guy next door; the one who merges seamlessly into the flurry of life in a mega city… Nothing spectacular, middle class, fairly well paid (at least well off enough to eat and drink and do whatever i want to do including vacation in the US, South Africa, Australia or wherever the next big thing is……)

I’m in my mid to late 20’s, single – make that very single – don’t know anymore if it was more a decision or I’ve just found myself single till now… Neither drink nor smoke (not blaming those who do), kind of shy (or reserved if you’re the type who calls a spade a digging implement) and above all anonymous, lost in the bowels of a mega city.