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The cold March weather is back, and that with a vengeance. I spoke too soon when I declared summer was here. Temperatures dipped to as low as 3 degrees centigrade today. Taking into account the high winds that accompanied the weather change, it must have felt like it was sub zero at some stage. My friend O and I practically shivered as we tried to grab lunch today. I hear snow even fell in the outskirts of town! More cold weather is forecast for the rest of the week into the weekend.. God help us o.. I’m sooo over the weather! ...

I suspect I am not the only one whose instinctive reation to the overly ebullient demeanour of sales people customer service assistants is to curl my fingers into a tight fist. I often want to punch them, so that the smile plastered on their face vanishes. They give me the impression of the legendary house rat - which I am told eats the skin off the feet, but aims a puff of air at the right time and place to dull the pain until it has had its fill of its victim’s feet! Thankfully, I am too lilly-livered to follow through my macabre thoughts with action - else I might be rotting in some jail on the grounds of causing grevious bodily harm. ...

nothing really changes everything remains the same we are what we are till the day that we die - Larry Norman Two years ago Larry Norman passed…

And I am learning to say no I let out in the night A bitter or a hopeful voice - Montserrat Abello I’m currently reading “Dance the Guns to Silence” a collection of one hundred poems in memory of Ken Saro Wiwa and the Ogoni 8. So far so good, but the poem I like the most is ‘And I am Learning to Say No’ (from which the above quote comes) by Montserrat Abello - its short, simple, resigned and dare I say quietly defiant - which is how I like poems :). I found, thanks to google, some other works by her here. Perhaps I am drawn to it because in many ways toughening up, learning to say no to people, is one of the major failings I think I have had in my life. ...

Source Shed Tears; Let pain like a malevolent fiend- Draw blood. Let go; Let the waves of a melancholic nostalgia- Break you. Pressure makes you whole again. Blame Fear; Blame Pain, blame sorrow deep within- Still Sing.

HT: XKCD

In a way this blog has been great - it has forced me to focus on myself and actively strive to become better - and you the readers have been fabulous - encouraging, challenging and offering help too! I have a lot to be thankful for - I’ve come through a lot. Life has gotten so much more busy that I can’t keep up with this blog - and frankly I am running out of things to bitch about which is good. Will still be around - reading your blogs when I can steal the time! ...

The evening breeze, cooled by the frigid NorthSea never fails to welcome me to this place. Nonedescript, marked only by a pole and a small 4x4 plaque, it can seem like Oya or her Viking consort Njord chose to channel their chilling breath through this spot. For 40 days now, I have had to endure the icy chill the wind brings. Sometimes it can feel like the wind reaches out an icy claw and grabs the heart, as though it would yank it out and leave me for dead. ...

So John Terry lost the England football captaincy - strange to me considering the quite public exploits of Sven Goran Ericksson and Mark Pallios back in the day; the recent activities of Avram Grant and the fact that none of the names being touted as Terry replacements have covered themselves in glory in the past. He should simply have listened to the Vera show - and stayed off the friend’s ex… The bloke in the pod next to mine at work says footballers count money in millions of pounds and sense in pence.. Haterade maybe.. But this list of top ten gaffes makes an intriguing read.. ...

I am re-learning me - finding out there is a darker side; one that is afraid, that hurts and wants to hurt in return, that wants to run and hide, close my eyes and wake up to a whole new life. I fear it is a losing battle, years of building walls, insulating myself from the world and being the black sheep will not suddenly vanish. I am re-learning me - I don’t like what I see!