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Found this two part story, exploring the difference love can make in the life of someone on my favorite webzine - Boundless. Really touching. Enjoy Part One and Part Two.

I don’t wanna feel like this tomorrow I don’t wanna live like this today Make me feel better I wanna feel better Stay with me here now And never surrender Today, in a bizarre moment of clarity, I realized I had parked my bus for way too long at a bus stop that wasn’t mine… A lot of energy was dissipated, focus diluted and time irretrievably wasted in the process.. Funnily, I knew a year ago very clearly what I should have done - it was reiterated very strongly five months ago - but the deeply seated nostalgic memories continued to keep me deluded, holding me in a mistaken belief that it could work and banishing my usually ruthless streak to the background… ...

I, like a tired weary pilgrim, Trudge this earth, these stony paths so grim. Seeking, with ponderous wandering steps, Salvation from a marauding death. I, like a penitent prodigal son, Cling to the fading final notes of my long lost song Hoping that someday, somewhere within this earthly dome, I may find the beaten path that will lead home. I seek a hidden ledge on which to leave my heartfelt plea; Some place where my bloodied sacrifice I can leave. Where my guilt ridden heart can find peace and be held Close to my father, speaking words only he must hear. ...

They say a bird in hand ‘is worth two in the bush’… But where do we draw the line between being content with what is in hand versus craving the potential two in the bush…… Sometimes I fear I have a death wish - an inordinate attraction for the eccentric and the esoteric - to the detriment of the normal and available.. When I was younger, I chalked it down to an insatiable curiosity; that essential criterion for a life of continuous learning. Now though, I fear it runs deeper than that, maybe it is a desire to be unconventional, or a longing for the adventure that comes with the risk, or plain old restlessness.. I don’t know anymore….

I think I have done a 180 degree turn, when I review the way the past year to a year and a half has gone. From wanting to resign my job and quit Nigeria in the light of the politics surrounding my last job, to deciding an MSc would afford me the time to sort out the issues, then trying to return to my last role and then finally deciding staying away was the correct thing to do, I think Life has pulled me through several undulations. ...

Quite a few changes have occurred around me in the last few weeks… chief of which was moving out of my previous lodgings for a flat where a couple of blokes I have known from Nigeria are staying. All has been fine and dandy except for a few issues namely: 1. The boys can snore! Chei, sometimes it sounds like a contest. Different people all ‘hee-hawing’ simultaneously. The paper thin walls fail colossally in muffling the sounds! ...

Growing up in my own neck of the woods was an experience. We nicknamed our Pops the Ogbodons - not sure where the term originated from any more but my back side was a living testimony to his varied abilities and multiplied skills in inflicting pain. Mum didn’t help matters as she was was as resolute in hammering our ’evil’ proclivities out of our systems. I got the opportunity to contrast that parenting style a few weekends back when I went visiting some distant family members in London. Clearly their less than 3 year old daughter has more leeway with him than I do with my own parents at my (huge) age. ...

Have a hit-and-run-less weekend!

Sounds like the only words I can use to describe myself now are all the lousy D-words: Disillusioned, distraught, disappointed, disparaged… I am just tired!

The sadness in her eyes breaks me, Willing me to reach across the breach of hurt; To hold her hand and tell her it was all a dream. The painful lustre in her eyes, As they glistened in the candle light that night Would draw me into granting a reprieve that is not mine. She seeks a place to leave her wish. Where, at the feet of a gentle wizened priest, She can be relieved of a flagrant breach, a love once spurned. ...