Posts

In moments like these, the stark reality hits me like a blow to the solar plexus - I am lost….caught in the neverland between two worlds - never fitting into either one. My lostness is multi-faceted; spawned by the dissonance being caught between the fervent patriotism of a son who once believed he had something big to offer his country and the hard nosed pragmatism of a thirty plus bloke who realizes - a trifle late - that finding his place in this world is more important in the near term than the anonymit y of sacrifice. ...

……..when the vehicle becomes more important than the Journey or even the Journey -er, a time out to ponder becomes expedient……..

I find the story of Isaac, Esau and Jacob intriguing, how guile and subtlety wins over brash power. Even though Isaac gave the blessing to Jacob, I find it interesting that Isaac mentions that Esau will only be under the yoke of Jacob until he gets restless. Perhaps every situation I am in at the moment is only because I have not been restless enough to break out from the chains and limitations…….

Today I killed you; Ripped apart from the very roots The vestiges of everything We once held dear. Yesterday The yawning chasms Finally took their toll, Harshly jerking us awake To the rasping rhetoric of a Reality birthed By things that would never be. I have been Broken like a gourd, Crushed like the petals of a rose Dismembered by feet in haste and shredded into bits By hands too calloused To care. ...

Currently reading Gordon McDonald’s Forging a Real World Faith. He identifies Eight Tips from the life of Daniel that we can use in our real world jobs.. Kingdom Perspective: Daniel knew God was in charge. The person of real world faith gauges every activity not against the opinions of people but against that of God.When moments of divergent opinion occur, one is careful where the real power lies. Prudent Flexibility: Daniel knew when to back off and when to fight bare fisted. Wise and Tactful Communication: The person of real world faith knows how to deliver a message that blends raw knowledge with God’s over arching purposes; how they fit into the big picture if you like. Coupled with the subtlety to soften the harshness of truth while commanding the attention of his hearer to appreciate the sense in the proffered solution, the person of real-world faith has the tools to be a person of critical influence in the work place. True Humility: Achievements and providing solutions no one else has, have the potential to raise us to levels of self aggrandizement beyond the reasonable. Daniel always pointed to God as the source of his ‘powers’. The person of real world faith doesn’t allow whatever accolades he wins get to him. In his heart of hearts, he recognizes God as his source, and where appropriate he articulates that. Intelligence: Daniel didn’t leave his brain in the Temple. He brought it to work daily! The person of real world faith has the resources of Heaven networked to his brain, if he will only ask for it.. and use it! Integrity: Daniel delivered work with Integrity. The person of real world faith delivers on his work expectations with integrity - meeting deadlines, staying above board with company finances and assets and stuff like that. When his life was rigorously examined by his enemies, they found that they could only fault him on the matter of his faith. Leadership Skill: Daniel exerted an undeniable influence on Babylonian politics. He led and administered his portfolios so well that he was considered for elevation to be head of the three other administrators. Loyalty: Daniel - even when he had to deliver bad news- showed extreme loyalty to his bosses. He did recognize though that his first Boss was God, and the King.

Spent the weekend listening again to Joshua Harris message from New Attitude 2002 - Holiness is A Harvest. Truth is I have not devoted as much time to learning God as I have to say blogging, chasing my romantic interests and stuff like that. It’s a rude reminder that if I say I want to know God, the basic Spiritual Disciplines need to be in place! An action item from my RA involves taking bible study more seriously. I need to jump on it ASAP..

A Journey is a gradual passage from one state to another. It may be a translation of spatial coordinates- in which case an object physically changes location, or it may merely be metaphorical - an evolution of an idea from a crude, undeveloped state to a more refined one. Sometimes the journey is deterministic – the number of steps is known from the beginning; at other times it is iterative - involving little steps that seek to approximate an unknown solution. There may be fellow Journey -ers; there may also be assistance in the form of vehicles that seek to mitigate the drudgery of the journey. The key though is that change occurs and hopefully there are clearly defined metrics that show that progress is being made. When all is told though, there is an end in view, a destination, a target box if you like, within which the Journey terminates…………. ...

The deep examination of life is a critical component of following Christ wholly. Gordon McDonald offers the following categories for examination. My People connections: Am I a people please-r? Do I seek to gain self esteem from peoples’ opinion of me? DO I use people rather than attempt to leave their lives in a more improved state than when I met them? Do I have unresolved resentment against certain people? Am I unduly competitive and jealous of others? My Things connection: Do I measure my self worth based on the amount of stuff I have? Does money control me? How disciplined am I with regards to purchases, especially things that may not be needful at the moment? Am I truly generous? How much of my earnings do I give to the less privileged? DO I tend to judge people by how much they own? My Thought Connection: What is the condition of my thought life? What drives my thoughts? Am I captivated by frequent immoral thoughts? What are my attitudes to pornography? Am I obsessed with being someone I am not? Am I constantly dissatisfied with where I am in my life? My Guilt Connection: Are there things in the past I am still carrying guilt over? Are there things I need to seek forgiveness over and restitute? My Career Connection: What are my work goals? Am I delivering work that is excellent? Is work controlling my life? What do I do when I need a break from work? My Memory connection: Have I granted forgiveness to people who have hurt me in the past, deeply? Am I still controlled by defeats or failures from the past that tend to prevent me from going forward today? My Habit Connection: Do I have any habits, thought patterns or attitudes that are preventing me from being fully Christ-like? Is there any habit I can’t let go of?

I have ranted and raved for a while now about not feeling a real world passion for God, and rightly so. But in the last few days, I have finally gotten to start reading Gordon McDonald’s Forging a Real Faith and Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and I am scared. Scared of what I might see when I finally peek through the door. I suspect that there is so much I will see that my real world life, a lot of the nascent parts of my worldview will be totally altered. That thought is sobering and rightly so. I can see clearly that my view of God has been totally defective; Great in my head, but not in my heart, having the right answers but not the right attitudes, going through the motions without a real sense of awe. I am scared, but I’m still plodding on…. There’s more to life, and I want to see it!

For Me….In the midst of potentially destabilizing change… The hot seat …..is the hot seat…. The place where you are put on the spot, and come under the most intense scrutiny possible. Here, the basis of your Faith is rigorously examined and the coherence of your worldview is systematically evaluated. It is the zone where well meaning words become dry platitudes devoid of any soothing balm, where textbook solutions fall apart, where time tested strategies cannot even begin to scratch the surface of the sickness that a hope deferred brings. ...