On the morning of the day I am due to fly westward, I wake up late - late being a few minutes before 9.00 am - on a day on which I have an 11.35 am flight to catch with neither a packed bag nor sorted transport for comfort. When I finally pull myself out of my bed, I call a cab for 9.30 am, and beginning tossing clothes, books and my laptop into the grab bag I use for these quick across-the-pond jaunts. ...
If I had to drill it down: Shitty in large bits, quotidian for the most part, a few big decisions taken, family milestones and ending the year realizing there’s a lot to be thankful for….. But that’s life after all isn’t it… Happy new Year peeps…
My earliest memories of Christmas - and ultimately of growing up - are inextricably connected to the sounds of roosting chickens, the anticipation of a hearty Christmas afternoon meal and the Chapel’s annual Christmas carol night. We were by no means very well off. Those were the dark days bookended by SAP and its attendant devaluation of the Naira and the Abacha dictatorship in which people in the Academia essentially lived hand to mouth. What was an already thinly stretched wage was steadily eroded until my proud, well read father resorted to farming yams and cassava in the space behind his house to augment his wage. The main garnishing to the routine fare we got served as soups and stews was beef bought in abundance from the local butchery, and fish. ...
Mid December usually kicks off the Christmas party silly season out here. Given that as far back as October, our coffee room conversations had started to take on a decidedly Christmas-sy bent, it was no surprise that the first event of the season came early this year – a team lunch at the Soul bar on Union Street in November no less. Thanks to the atrocious weather I ended up marooned offshore, restricted to taking to Facebook to moan about missing the free food and a half day off work. ...
[gallery] The much threatened snow storm finally hit, and when it did it was an anti-climax of sorts. Rather than the promised chaos and long tail backs, there were only mild disruptions at most. I suspect the winter has a lot more sting in its tail, but its first salvo has been under-whelming at worst. Given the town’s penchant for gory, frightful winters, I’ll take under-whelming any time. One evening, I am standing just inside the doors at Union Square – earphones plugged in with The Script on repeat, hands in my coat pockets and looking out - as the maelstrom of humanity just belched out by the 18:17 train from Dyce sweeps by. I am usually at home by this time - heaters fired up, warm drink in hand, catching up on re-runs of NCIS - but I am out today waiting to pick up a friend whose train should have arrived a few minutes earlier. He and I haven’t met up in at least three years - I suspect it’s probably more - even though we have kept in touch via email and the odd phone call here and there. He has been holidaying, taking in the sights of Europe and gate crashing one party too many whilst checking yet more places off his places-to-see-before-I-die list. A chance conversation a couple of weeks before helped make up his mind to toss in a sleep over at mine – the final pit stop before the train that is his holiday hurtles on to Nigeria and a return to the drudgery of work. A quick glance at the arrivals board at the station alerts me to the unfortunate fact that his train has been delayed by a further fifteen minutes. ...
Before dying catches us and the banal, quotidian joys of a simpe life expire at the hoot of Charon’s ferry from across the styx, and the memory of the faces, and the names of the ones we once held dear fade away, lost in the eternal blackness of demise; before the grim reaper suprises us with the rude, ineclutable finality of death; we must not forget
One of the unintended consequences of taking my mate search more seriously has been taking time out to define what the absolute must-haves in the woman I date and eventually marry are. Given the changes that have happened in my life, I am hoping the list is more realistic, and more real-worldly… So here goes. A Nigerian: Ideally the mate would be Nigerian. If you listened to my mother she would have to be Edo, Delta or Yoruba. I like to imagine I am more egalitarian and would be open to dating outside those very narrow confines. When push comes to shove, even though a Nigerian mate is preferred, I suspect I may be open to dating from other nationalities. Be on a similar time-line with me: Ideally, I would like to get hitched by YE 2012 (if I remain in the UK), or in 2013 (if I go down the Welding and Materials Engineering PhD route). Granted, it is impossible to legislate for oneself, much less others, but ideally, the mate I pursue should be looking to get married on a similar time-line. Between 27 and 31 by YE 2013: Research indicates that the ideal age gap between spouses is 5 years. Given I will be 34 by YE 2013, the potential mate would need to be 29 at the time. Rather than apply this mechanistically, I reckon a band of +/-2 years around the mean is a good compromise. Additionally, I do find from talking to my female friends that age 25 appears to be the age when women tend to get serious. Before then, they usually are looking to get a boyfriend for hanging out interminably with. At the age I am, I’m looking for a bit more intentionality which is why I think my future mate would be in this age bracket. Have a healthy acceptance of the importance of family: The kid brother and I are really close, a legacy of years spent sharing a room, and being co-conspirators against the totalitarian regime of the parents. Same goes for my kid sister who virtually still worships me. :) Any potential mates will ideally recognize that family is important and be willing to make changes to accommodate them, ultimately prioritizing US over other connections though. A more outgoing personality: The one accusation I am unable to refute is that I am somewhat picky when it comes to selecting friends. In general, I tend to be the one behind the scenes, observing and analyzing rather than being the life of the party. My ideal partner would be someone who is more outgoing than I am to offset my natural inclination to be reserved. Possess sufficient ‘General Intelligence’ to converse well: A number of topics engage my energies and passions - football, public policy, some politics and social justice issues in general. The ideal mate would be someone who is able to appreciate these things and more, and is able to engage in an intellectual discussion, being able to coherently engage a variety of topics. An appreciation for the arts – the lyrical flow of Yusef Komunyakaa, the exquisite prose of Soyinka, the mellifluous tunes of Coltrane amongst others - would definitely be a plus. Focused and driven to succeed: The ideal mate would have a fully developed life with drives and passions that I can contribute to. Marriage to me should be a symbiotic partnership, where both parties far exceed their individual abilities thanks to the influence of the other. As I have aged, I have transited from believing that a bloke is the alpha-and-omega to a model of shared growth. Has developed a coherent worldview that is essentially Judeo-Christian: Whilst I joke about being in a state of relapsed faith, my worldview is still essentially Christian, and one of my seven priorities for 2012 is sorting out that dissonance.The ideal mate would have a similar worldview, even if it is not lived out in a rabidly spiritual way and have a heart for God and people. Same sense of long term direction: Social justice, engaging younger people and being useful in the context of local community are big issues for me. The ideal mate would recognise this and buy into them, or at least appreciate them, if not actively participating. In summary then, the ideal mate would be between 26 and 29 now, be between 4-11’ and 5-8’ tall, broadly subscribe to Christian values and ethics, and be looking for a serious relationship at the time..
I spent the weekend going through Michael Hyatt’s cute little e-book Creating Your Personal Life Plan. In no particular order, below are the things I feel need to be priorities going forward: God: World-view, faith, God and how these interact in defining a moral compass for me is a crucial part of my developing fully into the sort of bloke I need to become. It is time for me to start engaging my various proclivities which are preventing me from gaining the clarity of thought and direction that I need. Health: Whilst I have not had any major health scares, truth is I am overweight by some. A few years ago, I had blood pressures that were way out of the ‘safe’ and ’normal’ zone [Thankfully, I passed my last offshore medical in flying colours]. Keeping fit, counting calories and staying health has to be one of my priorities going forward. Family: Whilst I remain single at the moment, deep in my heart is a longing to meet someone, find love and raise a family together. Two dimensions stand out here - finding the one and being the sort of bloke she’d want to be with. These both have to be priorities going forward - engaging the ‘knowledgable others’ in my circle and being open enough to solicit, accept and implement honest feedback where it is offered on areas where personal improvement is required. Personal Development: Learning continuously, and always reviewing where I am versus where I should be has to be a key component of my life. Big things are expected of me, and getting those done depends on continuously improving and finding the over arching knowledge and foresight required to grow into those big roles. This will have two facets: Career, in which I develop into a globally recognised Corrosion/Materials/Integrity Engineer, and personally where I progress and develop my public speaking, and writing skills. Friends: Given the large number of acquaintances I have, the few real friends I have (and I would count O & I as the two stand out ones at the moment) who time and time again have proven they are worth their weight in gold, and more, deserve some reciprocal attention. They are going to have to be priorities going forward - they’ve earned it! Finances: Finances are a key part of fulfilling the responsibilities that I will have as a Father, Husband, Son and social justice campaigner. Learning how to manage and grow my money is a critical part of the me I will become. Service: One more priority is taking all the gifts and blessings that I have been given and pouring them all out in service to others. The details of this are not exactly clear at the moment - especially considering the significant evolution my world view is going through at the moment - but finding the time and the place to make a difference for others ’less blessed’ as to be a priority going forward.
My interest in Def Poetry in the past has been limited to Bassey Ikpi. Thanks to a friend, I got forwarded a link to this video by Shihan.. My def poetry love just went up a notch… Found the full text here. Enjoy.
Between bites of peri-peri chicken and sips of Coke Zero, my friend Des asked me if I was happy. She - amongst all my long term friends - complains the least about my propensity to wall them off from the reality that is in my head, but from time to time she insists we meet to ‘catch up’. These meetings haven’t happened a lot recently - thanks to her juggling a return to full time employment with an energetic three year old, and travelling. Skipping merrily through town, as she is wont to these days, she asked if I was up for a bite and a drink, which I accepted. We ordered the usual - a platter to share, bottomless drinks and sides of rice and settled in to talk about the minutiae of life, and all the quotidian pleasures we have enjoyed in the year so far. Then - out of the blue - she asked if I was happy. I suspect I managed to side track her question by rolling out my usual spiel about life being what it was - normal and mundane without anything out of the ordinary. ...