Insomnia

I think things tend to look either worse off or better off in retrospect.. There must be a technical term for that - like nostalgia bias, or retrospection bias or warreva… (Help me out one of you psychologists)… Bottom line is i think when we look back at the past, we either think its much better than it actually was, or much worse…. I just had such a moment.. Thankfully, Me the pragmatist won - eventually….. Blame insomnia, the wacky DJ over at Capital FM, and nostalgia…. ...

TGIF… I get to stay awake till the wee hours of the morning without thinking about any repercussions! The last bout of insomnia I have struggled with yielded dividends today. A solution that popped up duirng one of those nights sailed through at work today! And in a funny way, I am kinda sad that the insomnia faded significantly.. I miss the late night/ wee hours of the morning pleasure I had for a week :( ...

Hi, My name is theOOhj and I am an insomniac… And I have been this way for all of three years! My friend agony aunt Titi asked me if it was physiological or psychological…..100% gibberish… plenty grammar.. All I know is that I can’t sleep…. and when I do manage to sleep I dream.. of different things.. people.. places…. events… and of her….. the one who chose to fade to black…. her voice is still etched in my mind’s ear like the striations of a fatigue crack.. and I am left with the questions.. the could haves, the would haves and the should haves…..Each day, I remind myself that it is over… dead… that we are done……but…… ...

Moments like these, when insomnia induced by deep thought strikes, are when the harsh reality of the things we try to suppress often come to the fore. The overwhelming desire of my heart and my hand is to pick up my phone and call long distance. But my head - ever pragmatic - intervenes, short circuiting the commands and forcing me to think. I wonder if she remembers me, or if indeed there is someone else making her laugh, hearing all her foibles and making her giggle at pointless jokes and wise cracks into the wee hours of the morning.

Its almost 2am and I can’t sleep… Some dude got me mightily worked up this evening and my vexation almost knew no bounds.. That prompted me to spew my shortlived rant, which I’ve thankfully deleted. Sowwrry for over exciting you over nothing. I’m over it now anyways…Since I am awake, I might as well do these memes that have been hanging over my head for a whiles now.. First off Naijababe tagged me in February and then both Tigress and Poeticallytinted tagged me with the honest scrap award fairly recently. Since Naijababe’s list is lonnger than 10 items, i will take that as a neccesary and sufficient condition to claim the honesty award! Here goes… ...