Life-&-Living on A Geek's Life

The Year in Reading -2022

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 12:58:41 +0000

It’s that time of the year again where I reflect on my reading over the course of the year. For a more wide-ranging review of the year in books, check out the coverage at The Millions here . My previous attempts are linked here.

As has been the goal for most of the past few years, at or around two books a month for a total of twenty-four books for the year was the reading target. Unlike previous years, I was open on the subjects, more open than usual to wending my way through the year in books depending on what piqued my fancy at any given time. I’d like to think that shows in the range of subjects and authors covered by my reading this year.

Summertime..

Tue, 03 May 2022 05:07:25 +0000

Photo by Il Vagabiondo on Unsplash

One day it was wet, slightly windy and the temperature was below 30 degrees C, the next it wasn’t, which is how seemingly out of the blue the semblance of winter bowed out, being replaced by summer in all its fierceness. To be brutally honest, calling ‘it’ winter would be a stretch by all accounts, but for the context of the prospect of 40+ weather over the next few months. Of more personal importance though is that it is the end of Ramadan, and the lengthened hours with little food that was my lot in the period (a quirk of the shift patterns revised for the period was that my work day started an extra hour early, and the food spots at work were all closed). As with last year, I decided it would be a fantastic time to attempt to shift some of the weight, tacking on three morning runs and reduced carbs to the month. The three kilograms which have somehow slid off into the ether suggests there was some value to all that exertion. Whether it was worth it all remains to be seen though.

2020: Delve Deeper

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 16:19:00 +0000

One of the biggest disappointments of 2019 for me was interviewing at a company across town and failing to land a job there. It was a company I had admired for some time, the role itself was to be the team leader for a small group of technical specialists overseeing a North sea portfolio and the pay was better; an added incentive. The interview itself started off well I thought but somewhere around three-quarters of the way through, it delved into territory I wasn’t overly familiar with. Part of it was a failure of preparation; I hadn’t taken the time to get intimately familiar with the company’s portfolio and thus prepare for any potential curveballs. The more I mulled over the disappointment, and let time do its thing, the clearer it became to me that this had ultimately been a failure of depth. I knew enough about my subject, had built a reputation in my locality and knew enough about the company to give the perception of competence and suitability on the surface. It was when the screws were turned and the veneer was stripped back, that a lack of depth - somewhat dodgy foundations if you like - proved my undoing.

By Degrees: Lessons from My Decade of Being Thirty Something

Sat, 31 Aug 2019 10:23:32 +0000

The year I turned thirty, I was a student battling to put finishing touches to my master’s degree dissertation and pondering what the future had in store for me. That the success or failure of that year, and the year before that, came down to that singular task was the result of an unanticipated turn of events which turned what was a leave of absence to return to full-time study into having to leave my Nigerian job. Grad school, my response to the year before that, had made sense in my head largely because it seemed a low risk, given there was a reasonably high likelihood of returning. I, as it would turn out was ultimately mistaken.

Of Beer, and the Return of the Frost

Fri, 14 Oct 2016 12:37:56 +0000

– For the first few days, all it is a mesh panel fence, one which cordons off the central area of Castlegate. Given my path to work takes me past it everyday, what it is or is not intrigues me to no end. By the time I am heading into work on Wednesday morning, its purpose becomes clear. It is a tent for staging Aberdeen’s version of Oktoberfest, the all out celebration of all things German beer related, which is back in the city between the 12th and the 16th. As I make my way back home just past 6.30 on Wednesday evening, I can just make out the silhouettes of people milling about inside it, music and the sounds of people having a good craik. For what it is worth, despite not being a beer person - my choice of beverage is a gin and tonic - the sneak preview tempts me a wee bit, but the need to keep a clear head for work the next day keeps me straight. I make a mental note to check again on Friday evening, if it still catches my fancy.

Becoming British

Tue, 11 Oct 2016 18:56:01 +0000

I had the joy of receiving my permanent residence card today, a key milestone on a journey that began at the back end of 2008 with my decision to head back to grad school in Newcastle. At the time, staying back in the United Kingdom, and becoming British were not necessarily on the agenda, it was meant to be a gap year away from what had been a difficult year at work.

About Town: Weird gifts, names and Children on Trains

Sat, 24 Sep 2016 06:44:20 +0000

Sometime ago, not without some misgivings I must add, I moved desks at work, all part of the new re-stacking policy designed around optimising our use of space. Following the move, I went from a desk which looked on into the central corridor with my computer facing away from the door to one where my view was the bus station across the road. The view was decidedly an upgrade, what came with it though was a sense of being blinded to people milling about behind me and coming in to meet me, particularly on the occasions when I have my head phones plugged in to maximise my concentration.

Of Times, Eyes and Seasons

Fri, 16 Sep 2016 20:45:00 +0000

Life - and time - have a penchant for throwing up surprises, ones which are sometimes welcome, but (perhaps more often than not?) unwelcome. Never more obvious is this than in the passage of time as measured by times, seasons and the lives of others. Somehow life in the moment, in the here and now - never seems to move at pace; only with the benefit of hindsight does the amount of time that has elapsed become obvious.

Lull...

Fri, 09 Sep 2016 03:13:33 +0000

[ Source]

In conversation with a gentleman I consider a mentor of sorts, the question about what was going on in my life at the moment got asked. After a few moments pause, I realised that the answer lay somewhere between ’nothing of note’ and ’normal'.

With the Summer Fridays out of the way, life is focused on fleshing out budgets for 2017 at work and waiting on a direction on a critical decision I have to make; somewhat of a lull compared to the frenetic pace of life over the past few months.

Nine Fridays of Summer: All Good Things Come To An End

Fri, 02 Sep 2016 11:49:23 +0000

It feels like only like yesterday when the prospect of free Fridays had me all excited, wondering what I would do with myself. Somehow, nine Fridays have come and gone since then, with proper 5 day work weeks left to look forward to till the offices shut for Christmas in late December. These Summer Fridays were especially important to me being the very first ones I was entitled to, even though I had worked in the same team for almost five years.

My Mosby Problem

Sat, 27 Aug 2016 17:52:56 +0000

In trying to understand how I end up in places like this far too often, I suddenly realise I may have a Mosby problem. Like him, the protagonist in How I Met Your Mother, I fall too hard too soon, focus on a single individual who I think is the one to the exclusion of all other potential options only to end up disappointed time and time again.

The simplest change I can implement - and the crassest from the looks of it - is to not pin my hopes on one person too early; keeping multiple options lined up such that when one opportunity fails to materialise, the cycle time between picking up with the next option is significantly reduced. This neither tastes nor sounds right but given the limited time one has left, it feels like the only choice. Sigh :(

Nine Fridays of Summer: The Not-Quite-A-Milestone-Birthday Edition

Fri, 19 Aug 2016 11:27:06 +0000

Months ago - when it became apparent that my birthday this year would fall on a work day - I made a mental note to take the day off. The act of making that official - signing into the absence management software we use at work and requesting the day off - never happened, which was how I ended up stuck behind my desk at work on the day. That the only slot for a meeting I had been trying to set up for months opened up on the day, the Friday before, didn’t help either.

Nine Fridays of Summer: Coming Up For Air

Fri, 12 Aug 2016 21:15:14 +0000

It feels much longer than 12 days since I was last in London, mixing it with the young, free and saved at the Hillsong Europe conference but I suppose life and adulting can do that to you, particularly when that sometimes indecipherable line between work and life is crossed. Shed loads of emails and the cumulative effect of multiple weekends away finally caught up with me both in my work and personal lives, leaving me wondering if it was all worth it after all. All told, the amount of time I have spent scouring YouTube for snippets of the songs I heard, and the satisfaction going over pictures from that weekend still brings, suggests that there is still some lingering benefit.

Just Thinking: Episode 1 - Introducing...

Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:45:04 +0000

https://soundcloud.com/jd-rambler/introducing-just-thinking-take-2

Introducing.. #JustThinking, a half playful, half serious brain dump on any of a number of things on my mind at any given time..

\* Backing Track credits: Smile (Instrumental) - Mosa/ One Speed Productions

Nine Fridays of Summer

Fri, 22 Jul 2016 21:59:45 +0000

For the first time in a very long time, I have four day work weeks to look forward to. The theory behind getting these nine Fridays off is that they have been earned by working an extra thirty minutes each work day. How productive those extra minutes have been remains to be seen, but I suspect their value to our employer lies more in promoting a sense of being cared for in us than anything more tangible. The first of these was spent down south, catching up with friends and reacquainting myself with Stratford and the Olympic park.

About Town - Of Cabs and Conversations

Tue, 12 Jul 2016 20:55:47 +0000

Sometime last week, I found myself waiting in what was wet, grey and windy weather - typical summer fare for this part of the world - waiting for a taxi I had requested. As I had arrived downstairs a few minutes after 8.30 am when I had ordered the taxi for, I was a little uncertain as to if he had been and left or was yet to arrive. He turned up at 8.40 am, by which time I had come close to phoning the taxi company to confirm if I had missed my ride. The cab ride which followed - all 45 minutes of it - was spent in a gloomy silence, the tension in the taxi palpable. I’m sure he meant no ill, much as I didn’t either but something about the circumstances under which we met seemed to have soured our taxi driver-passenger relationship. That he had all sorts of weird tattoos on his arms, drove with only one hand on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead didn’t help break the ice either, I suspect.

Of Things Around My Neck

Tue, 05 Jul 2016 19:48:32 +0000

It was with a mixture perhaps of Joy - Zadie Smith might disagree - and most certainly relief that I read the final lines of Kelly Sundberg’s It Will Look Like a Sunset, turned the page and realised I had finally finished reading my copy of The Best American Essays for 2015. It - the niggle at the back of my mind constantly reminding me I was yet to complete any of the books I’d started this year - had begun to feel like a thing around my neck. The 13 book target for the year - measly as it were - is now about as achievable as skiing in Kaduna, I suspect.

Spring Cleaning..

Thu, 30 Jun 2016 21:07:51 +0000

They say the good is the enemy of the best or something to that effect. I am learning that this also applies to people. The worst kind of those has to be those who are happy to take one’s time without making any commitments in return. Over the last few days of reflection it has become apparent that I have a number of those (as well as being that sort of friend to some other people also).

The Leaving Kind...

Sat, 25 Jun 2016 10:07:30 +0000

Brexit - full

– It’s official, we’re the leaving kind after all. Voting last Thursday concluded with a 52% majority that Great Britain’s future path lay outside the EU framework, ending a 43-year association. The easy conclusion - particularly given how much the result has been affected by voted cast south of the Solway-Tweed line - is that insular England has held the Union hostage, but I suspect things are far more nuanced than that.

(Trusting) God's Design In Detours

Wed, 25 May 2016 06:23:22 +0000

From today’s John Piper Devo:

Have you ever wondered what God is doing while you are looking in the wrong place for something you lost and needed very badly? He knows exactly where it is, and he is letting you look in the wrong place….

And your agonizing, unplanned detour is not a waste — not if you look to the Lord for his unexpected work, and do what you must do in his name (Colossians 3:17). The Lord works for those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4).

A Question of Patience

Fri, 20 May 2016 07:30:20 +0000

Source

– A year ago if you had asked me if I thought I was a patient person, my unequivocal answer - given without so much as a batted eyelid - would have been that I thought I was; somewhere between 9 and 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10 if you had pressed me to quantify. The reality, grudgingly accepted after much soul searching a few weeks ago, is that I am not; a realisation that has left me second guessing the validity of all the other assumptions about myself I carry. The first seeds of doubt to assail my iron clad convictions were sown by an offhand comment by my friend M, the context being a decision she needed to make. As far as I was concerned, it was an open and shut case; she needed to put the poor sod she was stringing along - in my opinion - out of his misery. To her it was a lot more nuanced than that, for which I got the quip about being impatient (and unfeeling).

On Lagos

Tue, 26 Apr 2016 12:19:27 +0000

That my relationship with Nigeria is somewhere between strained and non-existent is something I have made no bones about time and time again. That sense of lostness rather than easing with time has only become stronger, the key events in my life over the last few years - Newcastle, the bookend to a horrendous year of work and the somewhat forced decision to not return to the bedlam and then H - all chipping away at what bonds are left, leaving them increasingly tenuous.

Times, Seasons and A Hundred Juggled Things..

Fri, 01 Apr 2016 13:38:54 +0000

It feels like a trick of time, a sleight of hand drawn from the very top tier of a Houdini play book, but the facts – borne out by the calendar I have open in front of me, and the worn pages in the notebook I bought a couple of months ago - tell a different story; a record, as stark as it is of just how much time has passed in 2016 already.

#88 - Happy Place

Wed, 30 Mar 2016 22:17:34 +0000

Over-priced perhaps but this is very quickly becoming my Happy Place where I pause briefly before heading into the bedlam of work…

#SteadyHabits

#82- Killing Time...

Thu, 24 Mar 2016 21:07:35 +0000

Waiting for O to appear, twenty minutes after I arrive even though she had a seven minute heads up… I guess I’ll chalk that up as a learning experience…

#Learning

#71 - The Struggle

Sun, 13 Mar 2016 23:54:22 +0000

To not get ahead of oneself, to not be so swept up by the exhilaration of the moment that one loses sight of the bigger picture; that there is still a whole lot of knowing to yet do…

#HeartsOnSleeves

#68 - On Waiting

Thu, 10 Mar 2016 23:18:52 +0000

A year ago if you asked me how good I was with waiting, I suspect without giving it much thought I would have gone for somewhere between 9 and 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. What I am finding out to my chagrin, prompted by a few events and a conversation with my friend M (in which I get the blame for the unravelling of a certain situation) is that I suck at this waiting business.

#61 - The February Wrap - Of Life, and Steady Habits

Thu, 03 Mar 2016 22:16:36 +0000

What has quickly become apparent – as this year of living earnestly evolves - is that far from being the wild, giddy, excited life I half expected when my thoughts began to initially crystallise, it is one that is lived in increments; steady habits being the under-girding behaviours which hold everything together. That sense – of slow, steady if ponderous, progress – is one that has been consistently underlined and reinforced all year; by the book I am currently reading (Donald Whitney’s Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life), the ongoing series at Passion City on Habits and various conversations, the last of which occurred over the weekend with the older guy friend/ mentor O. The general gist of the book and the series is that change is only possible if there is an overarching vision of the future that frames the daily actions that we take, providing an incentive that keeps us plugging away at them.

#59 - Mosbytis

Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:09:18 +0000

Spent the bulk of the weekend re-watching Season 9 of How I Met Your Mother, complete with its unsatisfactory ending in which Ted shoots off to Robin’s after all she put him through. Tsk!!! Tsk!!! Before that though, Ted’s summation of his 9 year journey to finding Tracy did resonate with my inner suppressed romantic:

It was at times a long, difficult road. But I’m glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn’t gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew… I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5:00 a.m. Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon, through every speed bump. Every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was look at her and thank God, thank every god there is, or ever was, or will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I can possibly thank that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, and that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.

#55 - Wandering, Pondering

Fri, 26 Feb 2016 23:21:00 +0000

#Hope

#54 - Sated

Thu, 25 Feb 2016 22:37:11 +0000

We meet up - at the third time of trying - at the only place there is of note, Union Square. After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, we settle for TGIF, the steak, rib and shrimp meal the perfect counterpoint to the 46 days of minimal feeding we have gotten through. There is a lot to catch up on - work, women and all the other things single, semi-bored Aberdonian chaps whine about. When we agree to head our separate ways at 9.30pm, it is having been fully sated, all caught up on nine month worth of life, and with an agreement in principle to make this a monthly affair..

#52 - Not Yet Uhuru

Tue, 23 Feb 2016 21:36:20 +0000

When you run into the someone you swore you’d gotten out of your system, but you find that months after the fact there is still that twinge of jealousy…

#NotYetUhuru

#50 - Debut

Sun, 21 Feb 2016 23:30:06 +0000

On the day this challenge hit the halfway mark, I ended up spending the bulk of my Sunday evening prepping for, and interviewing, the truly delightful Sam Hibbard; an Aberdeen based Christian singer/song writer whose new single In The Waiting, dropped a couple of weeks ago. I definitely got the sense the wee lad - he’s still not 18 - is going places. It was great to get to chat God, Music, Youth and just catch up in general. First time behind the mics for me too, looking forward to more of these this year. I might have to come up with a funky DJ name if this continues.. :)

#46 - Certainly Uncertain...

Wed, 17 Feb 2016 21:02:39 +0000

What to do when uncertainty gnaws at your insides…

#BillionDollarQuestion

#44 - Finally Snow

Mon, 15 Feb 2016 21:26:57 +0000

I suspect it was more a question of when - rather than if, given the extended run of near zero weather we had had for pretty much all of last week – we would have the snow come down. When we did, we woke up to a blanket of snow everywhere on Sunday morning, and then again on Monday. That managed to add 15 minutes to my Sunday morning commute – for all the scrapping and cleaning that my car required – and made me break out a proper winter coat for the first time this year.

#15 - On Trusting

Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:58:16 +0000

–

In keeping with the sense of calmness from this morning, the homily at church today was a reflection on peace, with a key theme being how it is under-girded by a sense of implicit trust. This triggered a recollection of a message Bruce Ware gave many years ago at a New Attitude Conference where he likened trusting God to sitting on a three-legged stool, the three-legs in this case being a recognition that God is all powerful, all wise and all-loving, having our best interests at heart (summarized here).

#13 - 25 kids, 25 years

Fri, 15 Jan 2016 23:45:58 +0000

Sometime in the late 80’s/ early 90’s.. The place: a University in Ekpoma, Nigeria.. The people: kids and teachers from the Chapel’s Children’s Sunday School, a few of whom I still remember by name - all grown up now. A few dead people (RIP Gracie, GB, ‘Lena and Harold), one fairly famous (Nigerian) fashion designer (M) and seven kids who made it into engineering with a further six involved in other STEM subjects.

#8 - On Marrying

Sun, 10 Jan 2016 20:09:37 +0000

Stumbled upon via the Wordpress discovery feature, The True Story of a Seven Year Marriage:

Before you can make high towers, it’s best to build a good strong base. It comes from laughter, empathy, forgiveness, accepting the other person’s struggle, and knowing yourself. But sometimes without knowing it, you build too high and too fast. Things get shaky and start to wobble. There is always a way to rebuild if you’re willing. Always new and different blocks to try, always time to take a few steps back and build the bottom stronger.

#5 - Spontaneity

Thu, 07 Jan 2016 21:25:06 +0000

Sent on a whim, and very well received by all accounts. I should do this more often.

#Embrace spontaneity

New (old) Job - A Testimony of Sorts

Sun, 06 Dec 2015 23:54:26 +0000

I came into church on the 10th of May feeling deeply distraught, the overwhelming sense being that all was not well. Two main issues drove the sense of disjunction I felt; uncertainties around work and an inner turmoil around a decision in my personal life I had wrestled with for nearly a year.

The message on the day was by Rev Charles Achonwa - one of the first things he said being about surrendering to grace. This spoke directly to where I was at the moment, as I had taken time off a month before to come up with what I felt was the perfect plan with multiple backups and redundancies but had made little progress which fed the sense of frustration I felt.

Coming Up For Air...

Sun, 15 Nov 2015 12:30:19 +0000

It has been that sort of month since I was last here, the sort where the only possible response once the worst of it has passed is one of navel gazing self congratulation, at having survived without too much out of kilter, like a slight limp instead of a compound fracture…Between two trips offshore, a sore foot which required a pitstop at A&E and busyness multiplied exponentially, the past three weeks have sped by like a blur. My continuum? 12 hour work days, deadlines coming thick and fast, and weekends spent trying to catch up on the week’s backlog in time for a fresh load of things to chase for the new week.

A Year of Living Earnestly...

Thu, 22 Oct 2015 00:32:00 +0000

[ Source]

Three chance occurrences over the space of the last month have done a lot more to unsettle me than anything else in the year so far. Not in a bad way by any chance, but in an ask-myself-hard-questions way. Of the myriad of questions bobbing around in my mind, ones that relate to authenticity, passion and faith and how these can be melded into a coherent practice have come to the fore, inspired by how the people in question are doing life in their real worlds, leaving marks in ways I can only aspire to at this stage.

Zungzwang...

Mon, 05 Oct 2015 10:05:15 +0000

In chess:

a situation in which the obligation to make a move in one’s turn is a serious, often decisive, disadvantage.

In real life:

a situation in which one realises that life is speeding by in a state of unstable equilibrium with all the possible moves only likely to lead to more instability, or possibly a catastrophic event…

The solution? To stop, tear everything up and begin again… Maybe..

Summer's End..

Fri, 18 Sep 2015 11:30:00 +0000

For the first time since July, I have begun to run again. Once a week - I’d like to make it twice - I don my bright orange jacket, shorts and running shoes and begin at a leisurely pace down Urquhart road, up Links Road and then gradually pick up pace until my feet are pounding the tarmac on the long stretch that is the Beach Esplanade.

Sleep, or more accurately sleeplessness, has been one of the drivers for running again. Once awake sometime between 2am and 4am regardless of when I hit the sack, I find my mind far too active to go back to sleep. That is how I end up awake till it feels like a less ungodly hour to hit the road and run. What running does is afford me time to think - headphones plugged in, I can focus on the rhythm my feet make and the beat of whatever I am listening to. I am not alone in the pursuit of running zen, sometimes I pass other runners in different phases of their own runs, walking a dog or on the odd occasion an elderly couple out and about strolling.

A Good Year of Sorts - A Playlist

Sat, 15 Aug 2015 09:56:26 +0000

\https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries?list=PLYbuHzHoxFuCf8ksItOz6ZdGAL_L8PR1W&w=800&h=315\

The continuum: loss, numbness, turmoil, (self induced) heartbreak, surrender and (finally) finding a peace of sorts.. Here’s to Beginning, Again…

The Playlist

Mad World - Gary Joules
Wish - Lighthouse Family
This Too Shall Pass - Yolanda Adams
Shadowfeet - Brooke Fraser
Father Me - Rick & Cathy Riso
Read All About It - Emeli Sande
Airplanes - B.O.B
Love Alone Is Worth The Fight - Switchfoot
Volcano - Rapture Ruckus & Jonathan Thulin
Redemption Days - Josh Ojo
Something New - Axwell Ingrosso
Shake - MercyMe

On Loss..

Fri, 24 Jul 2015 11:30:20 +0000

[Image Source]

It has been a deeply emotive week for me, bookended as it were by Sunday’s Remembrance Service - a year exactly to the day since we lost H- and the quiet, deathly stillness of my office today as I stand here, cup of coffee in hand looking out at the lunch time crowd milling about. As the week has gone along, the flurry of phone calls, emails and messages of commiseration I have had to field from people has eased off, allowing me some time to begin to reflect on where I am, and how things have evolved over the past year. Not much has changed by all accounts, I still haven’t brought myself to delete H’s details from my phone or my FB page for that matter - deceased 19th July 2014 is the only addition I have made on my phone - which led to a birthday reminder from FB in my feed the other day, as raw a reminder as there could be of the keenness of the loss we still feel.

3-5 go

Fri, 10 Jul 2015 11:30:39 +0000

Amara U, Flickr

It is perhaps indicative of just how activity-starved my life has been lately that all it takes is a week’s notice for me to drag myself across the 397 odd miles down south to join K, family and parents in celebrating 35 years of staying married. In fairness to her, Royal Mail had a hand in the late invitation; when she texted me frantically that Friday afternoon, it was with a mind to chide me for my legendary tardiness. Only my strenuous denials backed up by the fact that I had moved houses recently saved me in the end. Long story short, I ended up on Friday night in the comparatively upscale setting of South Harrow, the hub around which we all converged - from every nook and cranny of the world it seemed, Scotland ably represented by yours truly.

At The Centre of Things

Fri, 03 Jul 2015 11:30:41 +0000

Photo credits - David Goehring, Flickr

- -

All I remember from the immediate aftermath of hitting the red button which terminates the FaceTime conversation I have been having with G is a feeling of reeling and of sinking, how I imagine the driver of a car suddenly swept off a road into the icy depths of a lake might feel - disoriented, numb and perhaps too taken aback to have any real appreciation of the import of what has just happened. There is good reason to feel this way, given the act - symbolic as it were - is one that brings to an end what has been a good year of sorts, and that only for the third time ever. To reach this place, where what is a painful, hard fought decision has been taken, has required months of agony and wrestling - weighing the pros of trying to save face against the cons of loss, of time and sunken investments. That G and I work, by and large, has made the decision even more difficult; that a milestone birthday of sorts for me has just passed complicates things even more.

Of life and playthings

Mon, 22 Jun 2015 18:01:22 +0000

For today’s Daily Prompt, Toy Story

- - -

There is a real sense in which play was a concept alien to the world in which I grew up. Being the son of two high achieving, austere academicians did that to me; that they adopted a rigorous, all encompasing asceticism merely underlined the near total absence in our lives of anything that didn’t fulfil a function of some sort. The Black & White National television set was the communal alter around which we sacrificed our evenings to learning and current affairs, the gramophone, the vehicle by which nostalgic memories where wheeled out and shared with us younglings.

The Perfect Year - In Five Things

Fri, 19 Jun 2015 11:30:00 +0000

From my notes at the end of March (which kind of triggered this)

In Work: Greater clarity around my role going forward, and dare I say a staff role somewhere that allows me focus (almost) exclusively on developing my technical Materials and Corrosion skills.
In Women: Resolution of my G ‘problem’ - we’ve stalled, we both know it but we’re letting the weight of third party expectations drive our actions.
In Worldview: God and I need to have a proper conversation and make up. This cognitive dissonance is driving me nuts.
In Weight: 8kg over my YE2014 numbers. MUST do better!
In (Net) Worth: Stalled, no increases since YE 2013 inspite of net increase in earnings. Must rein in 2015 spend and take it from there. Hopefully SisiOnABudget comes up with the magic bullet for this soon!

The Sense of An Ending

Fri, 12 Jun 2015 11:30:33 +0000

I sit here at my desk, amidst a sea of boxes, piles of paper and open drawers, grateful for the peace and quiet these last few minutes before the lunch break starts afford me. The morning has flown by quickly, lost in the blur of furiously packing, sorting and binning four years worth of work and junk that by the end of the day has to be organised neatly so the office admin staff can get them moved as required. The powers that be in my neck of the woods have decreed - having decided that we have been stuck in our silos for far too long - that moving to an office sharing arrangement that has us clustered functionally will foster a more collaborative approach to work, create synergies and improve efficiencies. Fundamentally democratic - and buzz word heavy - even though the unspoken elephant in the room is that by some quirk in the system the supreme leader has scored a corner office looking out onto the harbour; a far more eye pleasing sight than the endless parade of bus tops that I can just make out from my desk if I squint hard enough. Earned perks of office I guess.

Beginning, Again

Mon, 08 Jun 2015 11:00:49 +0000

For the umpteenth time I am attempting to begin again. As to triggers for each prior iteration of these beginnings, I can blame various cataclysmic events – a delayed quarter life crisis which ended up with me starting over on a new continent, a short lived romance, and the sense of endlessly treading water being prime examples of some of these. On this occasion however, I cannot pinpoint a singular reason why; such has been the sort of year I have had – between the end of a good year of sorts with G and the significant uncertainties brought about by an unstable oil price regime.

Spring[ing]

Fri, 22 May 2015 23:00:00 +0000

[ Source]

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The sense of something

Brewing; Hope’s shoots, soft, tender-

Beginning, Again

Of Journeys and Endings...

Thu, 07 May 2015 20:35:52 +0000

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When March finally dragged itself to an end, I remember thinking that I hadn’t felt as stressed as I did at the time since 2008, 2008 being a nadir of sorts; one that ended up with me quitting my job and heading back to grad school, my version of navigating a delayed quarter life crisis.

So out of sorts and form did I feel that I took myself away to the Starbucks in Union Square, one Sunday after church, ordered the most decadent hot chocolate with cream on offer and proceeded to have a conversation with myself. What quickly became apparent from that exercise was that there were a number of pressure points which were driving my malaise.

NaPoWriMo Day 28 - Bridge

Tue, 28 Apr 2015 23:25:00 +0000

In the unknown you clutch vestigial memories of night journeys and of trains and being surprised by grey granite segueing into lush greenery

but once you cross the Bridge across the Firth of Forth Hope awakens ‘Cos you’re Home.

On train journeys, coming home and the Forth Road Bridge for the prompt for Day 28 at NaPoWriMo, a truly gorgeous sight on a (rare?) sunny November day as I found many years ago…

NaPoWriMo Day 27 - How To Make Small Talk

Mon, 27 Apr 2015 12:05:09 +0000

Pause, On the corner of Kings’ and 23rd North West and smile, let your face crumble like a cookie dipped in spring milk.

Tell her the musky scent of her perfume reminds you of spring wafting in on the wind heady, yet subtle, hardly felt.

Moan about the weather, of snow pelting down like hail of sunshine shoved into a corner by clouds and then nightfall

When you find she’s clutching Chaucer to her chest and McEwan in her bag, read her a line from Komunyakaa: ‘I took seven roads to get here and almost died three times’*.

NaPoWriMo Day 23 - House, Of Cards

Thu, 23 Apr 2015 22:15:00 +0000

[ Source]

If words were everything We would be halfway To the moon and back, A streak of light, white-bright Against the night sky Driving darkness far away Into the distance Of a forgotten age.

If promises were The elixir of life We would nymph-like never age, Never yield to the chiseling Hand of time, etching its Designs into our very bones.

Word by word they have built up Grandiose things, carcasses that Loom large, Colossus-like over us; Selling us bamboo dust for sandal wood, Trading Hope for the control A snake charmer’s pungi wields.

NaPoWriMo Day 20 - Lessons Learned

Mon, 20 Apr 2015 23:38:23 +0000

A bloke can do no worse Than believe his own hype Unless it is to hope That a grand Messianic gesture Might turn the ebbing tide of Love, Where a simple one would do.

For everything there is a time And a season for everything under the Sun But what virtue does Hope have unless She stir in dire times?

On Life, and a Song

Thu, 19 Mar 2015 20:30:21 +0000

The end of the day Remember the days When we were close to the edge And we’ll wonder How we made it through the night The end of the day Remember the way We stayed so close till the end We’ll remember it was me and you

Of trains... And being curious

Thu, 12 Mar 2015 20:30:00 +0000

[ Source]

They clamber aboard at Upminster - they being man, boy and girl - eventually ending up on the seat opposite us. We are on the C2C service from Ockendon towards London Fenchurch Street, the first leg of what we hope will be an uneventful train ride into town; towards Tottenham Court Road for a pitstop at Dominion Theatre for Hillsong. Of the trio who disrupt what peace we’ve had so far, the girl ends up by the window, the man by the aisle and the boy - who can’t have been more than 2 or 3 - in between them. The most noticeable thing about the man is his rather tight shirt, one which his stomach strains at ever so slightly and his flip flops. If I were a betting man, I’d place him as some sort of suburb dwelling city slicker, kicking about with the family on a weekend, slightly overdoing casual in the process, perhaps as his way to compensate for being cooped up in a suit and tie all week.

On Loving, and (Not) Marrying...

Thu, 19 Feb 2015 20:30:12 +0000

[ Source]

When I was seventeen, I was sure that I would be married by the time I turned twenty-seven. I knew the date, Saturday the 7th of July 2007, who she would be and the song we would say our vows to. That year was my first away from home at University in a different city, one in which I cut my teeth creating a budget, spending money as I chose and defending my results to my father at the end of each month - all very responsible and grown up - or at least so I thought. There was no real science – or thought for that matter - to the timing, merely a wild stab in the dark. Ten years seemed far enough into the future to feel like forever, and my big Uncle F who seemed to embody adulthood perfectly turned twenty seven that year, or maybe thirty. Reality, I would later find out, was far more intention and hard slog than hit, hope and wishful thinking.

Year End Review - 2014

Wed, 31 Dec 2014 22:03:03 +0000

General 2014 was an emotional wringer of a year, perhaps the most difficult one I’ve ever had, thanks in part to losing H, and O, but also because of difficult transitions at work. All in all, it’s been a largely forgettable year, with spots of delirious joy in between. Here, in each of the seven focus areas undergirding the life plan are a little bit more detailed thoughts on how my 2014 went with a (R)ed, (A)mber or (G)reen indicator.

Always Returning

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 19:48:05 +0000

[ Source]

Whilst rustling through my documents at the weekend - I forget what prompted the decision to take on the Sisyphean task of rummaging through drawers filled with several years’ worth of papers of varying vintage - it struck me that it was now nearly five years to the day since I dragged myself, bags in tow, off the East Coast train from Newcastle to Aberdeen to begin a new life of sorts. Ditching my Nigerian job for grad school 18 months before meant that nostalgia - and twenty-something years’ worth of memories - counted for little; pragmatism was very much the defining consideration. In a sense, Newcastle, and then Aberdeen afterwards was about tearing everything up and starting afresh from scratch, pretty much the recovery from a self-imposed apocalypse. The driver for that decision was a sense of injustice at the Nigerian work environment; five years of being unaligned (being from the minority in a minority state didn’t help), a sense of having hit a glass ceiling and the desire to prove myself on a global sense all contributing.

Did We Do Any Learning - Savouring Memories

Sun, 14 Dec 2014 17:17:32 +0000

A few thoughts – with the benefit of a few months since losing H - on living and learning…

Life’s lessons are neither bleeding obvious nor palatable. All we possess for sure are the moments that we share with our friends and loved ones. The challenge is to enjoy and maximise the moments, not putting off the kind word, the lingering touch, or the act of kindness we know they deserve.

A Week's Worth...

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 19:59:38 +0000

Monday Driving into work on Monday morning, the sense is one of wonder at where the weekend went. Not so long ago – my knackered brain thinks – it was Friday afternoon, and thoughts of a restful weekend filled my mind but here, tottering on the verge of a return to work, the memory of the weekend already seems like a blur. Looking back, the two things that stand out are a cringe worthy gaffe, one occasioned by a particularly blatant reading of a certain situation on my part, and a head scratching conversation with S.

Finally, Fall...

Tue, 07 Oct 2014 17:52:08 +0000

Only a few days ago, the sun was out - weakly warm but out regardless, even though the first day of autumn was officially past. As I made my daily lunch time walk from the office to the Boots Store at the back end of Union Square, the sense was one of making hay whilst the sun still shone, enjoying the final blast of warmth, before Autumn took hold. An old lady, bless her heart, bumped into me as we waited for the little green man before crossing the road into the parking lot adjacent to work. In fairness to her I had my nose in my phone - make of that what you will - but that little bump did create the context for a short quick chat whilst we waited. Not so long ago, the arrival of spring, and the warmth it portended was the focus.

Mixed Bag

Wed, 27 Aug 2014 20:17:18 +0000

Popped into the GP’s for my six monthly blood pressure review. Mixed results - good on the blood pressure count (124/82), bad on the weight (up to 88.5kg from a low of 82kg at the turn of the year). Way too much pizza messing with my metabolism I guess. Roll on the Whole30 then - 2 days in!

Turning Thirty Five - The Strategic Five Year Plan

Fri, 15 Aug 2014 23:40:41 +0000

Turning thirty-five could not have come at a less opportune moment - given the summer of loss that we have had. The silver lining though is that it offers an opportunity to pause, take stock and ask oneself what the focus for the next few years should be. My life plan has come together in bits and bobs over the last few years - three life goals, seven priorities and five core values, a tad incoherent if the truth must be told.

#24, 25

Wed, 25 Jun 2014 17:03:52 +0000

Took day 24 a tad too far - no thanks to this video(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNZe01hqMW8).. Knackered! No debts of any description so will pass on Day 25…

Home stretch!

Day 13 - Declutter Your Life

Fri, 13 Jun 2014 23:11:56 +0000

Cleaned out the closet and identified a couple of bags of old clothes that need ditching. Plan is to leave them out for any of the charities who send bags around from time to time. Paper and mail, and electronics need doing. Solid if unspectacular start - the hard work here starts now I think.

Day 12 - Create Your Bucket List

Thu, 12 Jun 2014 17:55:52 +0000

Day 12 of the Better Man in 30 days challenge - Create Your Bucket List

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Currently working through my bucket list - aptly (if I say so myself) tagged 40 things by 40 seeing the 40th birthday is the next major birthday on the horizon - and no I am not 35 yet.. Closed out a few things already some of which include making CEng, losing 20kg and taking a boat ride down the Chicago river. A few stand out as sore points on which I have made zero progress whatsoever on - visiting the children I sponsor via WorldVision and reading every book that has been awarded the Man Booker prize being prime examples.

Day 3 - Find a Mentor

Tue, 03 Jun 2014 18:09:24 +0000

Day 3 of the Better Man in 30 days Challenge - Find a Mentor

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In thinking through today’s challenge, I realised there is a shed load of historical mentors I had to acknowledge - the Artful dodger (so nicknamed by his own father no less) whose MO always seemed to be to stay just on the right side of the law at all times (he was the inspiration to go into engineering), OO, the social studies teacher who intervened when yours truly was nabbed trying to pilfer a book from the secondary school library, Dr K at the Steel plant where I interned in 2000 who sowed the seeds of an appreciation for materials in me and DEL and MMK who held my hand as I took my first shaky steps as a rust geek back between 2003 and 2008. All that is part of why mentoring and mentorship are core values I intend to hold on to dearly both as a giver and a recipient.

Intermissions....

Sun, 01 Jun 2014 16:06:21 +0000

Time and time again one finds himself back here, searching for what, one knows not. Between life, work and the issues inherent in them, my big resolve to do life in 30 day chunks limped along before dying in March. What little time to breathe I had was spent swotting for a couple of exams, critical components of the personal development plan for the year.

Coming into June, I thought the Better Man in 30 days challenge from the Art of Manliness represented a good, meaty challenge to get my teeth into, a potential keystone habit if you like. For one, manliness and man-making represent a key strand that runs through and undergirds the Life Plan. In addition, blogging for an entire month was also one of the ideas for a thirty day challenge at the beginning of the year. Thanks to the two twitter BFFs - OluSimeon and SingleNigerian, any doubts I might have had about going through with the plan have been nuked thanks to public accountability.

About Town : On (yet another) return to the middle of nowhere

Tue, 08 Apr 2014 19:17:08 +0000

Wide awake, with not even a lingering hint of sleep to becloud my eyes, I pause to ponder the day that lies ahead of me. Difficult as it may be to wrap my head around them, the facts are what they are. It is very nearly six months since I last made the journey that lies ahead of me. Back then, LK was the developing conundrum, one that those days spent in the middle of nowhere ended up resolving, ultimately to my pain - not that I knew that at the time. My alarm snaps me out of my little reverie - I have a 6.00am check-in at the other end of town to contend with, and a 15 minute walk to catch the bus that will haul me across town - small margins for error given it is already 4.05am.

The March Wrap - Reboots, London and Bits and Bobs...

Tue, 01 Apr 2014 22:05:09 +0000

Down South, the overwhelming narrative is one of a spring in full flow, cue a flood of selfies on Instagram and Facebook, complete with the obligatory sunglasses, sleeveless tops and sandals. Up here, in my North Eastern corner of Ruralshire, the best that we have had is six degree weather and intermittent sunshine - not quite spring, but very nearly as good as it gets up here, being thankful that we are not having snow in March like we did last year.

Getting Directions, Movie-thons and Sunday afternoon conversations

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 21:59:56 +0000

Still slightly depressed from all that’s happened to rock my world over the last few weeks, I drag myself down to Union Square having left work thirty minutes early. I am hoping that a little window shopping – and fresh air – will do my foul mood some good. Thirty minutes later, having made a pit stop at TK Maxx, mooched around Sole Trader and JD Sports I find myself at the Jones shop, pondering the wisdom or otherwise of splurging on a gorgeous pair of Timberland boat shoes I have found.

The End of the Beginning

Fri, 28 Feb 2014 20:36:47 +0000

When I first came here, it was not love at first sight. There was no instant click, no immediate sense of belonging; only a sense of tentativeness.The call that set it all off had come out of the blue one Tuesday afternoon, from a Manager I didn’t work for directly. My first response was to email the guy I actually did work for - he took a day and a half to get back to me - by which time the moving train had gathered speed. After less than three months back at the mother lode, following a six month stint sequestered in a client office, I was on the move again.

There, or thereabouts...

Mon, 11 Nov 2013 22:19:01 +0000

It is a cold, crisp morning; the sort that draws an involuntary wince when the twin comforts of a snuggie, and the remnants of warm tea are withdrawn somewhat suddenly. Having not visited the gym in two weeks and a few days - blame my trip to the middle of nowhere, not my laziness - the plan is to drag myself there at some stage over the course of the day. The dry, sunny vista that greets my eyes looking out onto Pittodrie beguiles me into kitting myself out in my gym get-up; which is how at the ungodly hour of 9am on a Saturday I am high tailing the 700 yards or so from my house to the gym. The forty-five minute amble on the treadmill passes by uneventfully enough - today there are neither svelte, graceful does nor brawny, over-fit ones to terrorise me, or show me up for the lazy bum I am..

Mis-matched

Mon, 04 Nov 2013 19:46:37 +0000

Feeling chilly in the westerly breeze is how BBC weather describes the start to the day, and walking briskly from my house to the bus station, I ponder just how right that prediction is in spite of how well I think I am wrapped up - thermal undershirt, long sleeves, a fleece and a wind breaker notwithstanding. I have always thought it interesting just how well predictions of lousy well work as opposed to ones which promise warm, dry spells, or not. Confirmation bias maybe?

Season of Uncertainty

Wed, 16 Oct 2013 03:46:36 +0000

Sinking… and feeling for rock bottom is the sense of where I feel I am at the moment; very much like the proverbial lead sinking in water. The thing with Tee rather than being the primary cause of this latest bout of malaise helped precipitate it, not least being the most recent of a string of setbacks in the girl department running through the year.

There’s work, and the fact that the guys I currently work for recently lost a major service contract they had held for the better part of 8+ years. With that has come the potential for staff moves, down-sizing and all the other fun and games associated with trying to bring overhead down. Even though my own role seems safe amidst this sea of change, there is the additional complication of the particular client I support shuttering activity on the plant I work for. My UK visa is tied to my employer so the uncertainty associated with work, or not working does leave the mind in jitters. Another layer of complexity is the fact that I want to do something different. Having spent the greater part of the last 10 years - since December 2003 - in topside pressure system asset integrity, I do want to get my teeth into subsea materials and corrosion a lot more than my current role might allow…

Going nowhere... fast

Thu, 03 Oct 2013 19:12:53 +0000

Against my better judgement – and that not for the first time – I call S on Sunday evening. Predictably she doesn’t answer her phone. The first and only acknowledgement of the missed call comes on Tuesday night, a full fifty-two hours later, when she texts to apologise for missing my call, citing being tied up with chores and ironing.

Given she is someone I have been trying to get a face to face with since early July; and who pulled out of yet another agreement in principle to meet up the Thursday before the Sunday on which I call her citing busyness again; it does begin to strain the limits of credulity to imagine these are just random, real limitations on time as opposed to a fully intentional strategy to avoid meeting up.

Talent spotting, couch surfing and getting the autumn blues...

Tue, 24 Sep 2013 20:57:45 +0000

Standing at the window looking out - as I am wont to do on most slow Fridays - waiting for our old, creaky coffee machine to piddle out water for my cup of tea, G. asks me if I am ‘talent’ spotting.

I do not ask what exactly he means, but there can be no ambivalence here. The coffee machine sits right next to a large window, with a view which although largely taken up by monolithic grey, granite buildings does include enough of the perennially busy street to provide a feast for sore eyes on most days. Unfortunately on this occasion there is no talent to be spotted. It is that nearly dead period just before lunch hours kick in across the city where most serious talent is locked behind desks squirrelling away at work rather than strutting their stuff across the streets. The clear nip in the air also means that what sparse talent there might be is very well covered up, the skimpy summer outfits now replaced by coats and scarves. G. and I moan about the weather - it is predicted to hover between 10 and 14 degrees all weekend with a smattering of showers here and there; hardly the kind of weather to inspire any serious weekend plans. The darned autumn I suppose.

Treading water...

Fri, 20 Sep 2013 20:57:13 +0000

Tee and I have somehow segued into friend zone territory - catching up once a day on average to share the minutiae of life, moan about our respective bosses and all the other things working adults who live alone find the time to complain about.

She has had a lot on her plate lately between work, illness and family visits, as I have been with work and my urgent trip down south to Sheffield to sort out the small matter of a visa.

Goings On: The almost botched birthday edition

Mon, 19 Aug 2013 18:26:09 +0000

I suppose there are worse ways to spend your birthday than being stuck behind a desk, being one of two members of the team available from a full complement of five, praying and hoping no emergency pops up requiring you to suit up and go offshore at short notice. Thankfully that, getting sent offshore, didn’t happen; and I had the pleasure of spending Friday away from work, catching up with myself…

Waking Up

Sun, 18 Aug 2013 20:00:49 +0000

To the Year of Living Intentionally, or dangerously…

Between standing on the cusp of the 34th birthday, and getting a diagnosis of borderline LVH, I have come very close to freaking out more than a few times over the last few weeks. More so perhaps because in stumbling on an early copy of the 5 year plan - written back in the day when I was an excitable 26 year old with the dream job and the dream girl, and all the important people in my life the small matter of a six hour road trip away - just how far off target in quite a few categories I still am was made very clear.

Of Journeys and returns

Thu, 01 Aug 2013 21:40:51 +0000

London was warm, a tad too warm if the truth must be told. And dry - well, except for that wretched Saturday evening, which in keeping with my rotten luck with these things, was the one day I decided to be out and about into the wee hours of the morning. Other than that, the contrast with the ‘Deen couldn’t have been starker – wet, barely nudging 19 degree weather and warm, dry, 26 degree weather and sunshine, separated by the small matter of sixty five minutes of flying.

Firsts...

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 09:00:53 +0000

Besting 500 calories in one gym session….

The future Mrs S best be pleased :)

Goings on - A few quick hits...

Tue, 16 Jul 2013 19:25:41 +0000

In line at my GP’s, waiting for an audience with the receptionist who I want to confirm an appointment with, I find myself growing impatient despite being only the fifth person in line. It looks, and feels, like everyone and their dog opted to stop by today. It is a warm day and there are at least ten people in various stages of repose on the chairs scattered around the waiting room. Inwardly I am cursing myself and my daftness for choosing lunch to do this. At the head of the queue, a large-ish woman engages the receptionist in a conversation of sorts - if speaking two unrelated languages can be classed as a conversation. She, like me, has an appointment to confirm, unlike me she needs an interpreter to pass her query across. The dour, matronly receptionist seems to be at a loss, unable to determine what is an appropriate response besides saying repeatedly ‘The nurse is not in yet, she’ll call for you when she has an interpreter on the line’. Six times and five minutes later, she has made no headway, and the woman has held the line up for all of that time. Our saving grace is the nurse calling out ‘Olga", allied with a name I can’t recall. Recognising her name, she makes her way to the consulting room to be attended to. Needless to say, I am not at my most gracious at the delay - unnecessarily so.

About Town

Tue, 02 Jul 2013 20:19:32 +0000

The bright warm sunshine that streamed in through the office windows – whilst I was hard at work on Friday afternoon - vanished in time for the weekend, true to form. Up here in my little corner of the world, the one gripe that we all - rich, poor, cab driver, CEO, native born or immigrant - share, is the weather and its propensity to turning on a whim at the most inopportune of moments.

The life plan...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 19:56:39 +0000

Distilled into three main components:

Be the best husband, father, brother, son and friend I can be;
Excel in (Corrosion, Materials and Welding) Engineering;
Live in, and contribute to life in, a great church and a great city.

Not quite as simple as it sounds, but tiny first steps are all that count, no?

Woolwich, the aftermath

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 19:33:05 +0000

In the immediate aftermath of the Woolwich murder, once that truly harrowing video had surfaced and the Nigerian connection was first mooted, I found myself cast in the unwilling role of the Nigerian ’expert’ at work. For most of the people in my corner of the world, I was the most handy Nigerian they could talk to. The odd attempt to parlay it into banter did come up, but for the most part, these were people looking to get some perspective on what was both vicious and senseless.

First World Problems

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:36:10 +0000

Thirty odd people, myself included, cluster around a table in a somewhat private corner of the Monkey House. Once a quarter, the guys and girls from work all pile in here to de-stress, and let our hair down. Rumour has it that after enough beers have gone around, fortuitous slips centred around what certain bosses actually think about certain staff have been known to occur. Usually, the evening starts with a few beers and nibbles - fish fingers, spring rolls, and all the other light food we’d collectively call small chops in my other world, the small matter of a few thousand miles away.

Facebook Fail

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:12:26 +0000

I woke up to five missed calls on my phone. I had felt, rather than heard its insistent buzz deep within lalaland but sheer tiredness had kept me from waking up. Instead, the phone’s chirpy ringtone somehow ended up blending itself in with the background to some weird dream I promptly forgot on waking.

Of the five missed calls, three were from my mother, one from my father’s phone and one from a private number. This has more or less become her standard M.O. - when she feels I am intentionally refusing to answer her phone calls that is. That she’d called five times suggested it was important, so I groaned inwardly, punched in the numbers for my calling card and made the phone call to Nigeria.

About town - Bunnies, Movies and perfecting the art of vanishing

Tue, 07 May 2013 18:00:12 +0000

In retrospect, it was the best weekend to have been away from work - but I didn’t know that three weeks ago when on a whim I decided I needed an extended break. It just so happened that Thursday morning, which was my last work day of the week, brought with it the slight irritation of an unwelcome work event that needed a response. That event ended up spawning a response that had burgeoned into a full-fledged emergency of sorts - complete with the mindless, headless running around centred on being visible and being seen to be doing stuff, however pointless - by midmorning on Friday, by which time I was sauntering casually down Links Road, up the beach Esplanade and then unto the Boulevard with the sun on my back, tempered by a cool breeze from the sea and the barely perceptible sound of the waves lapping the shoreline, the sound track to what was a very leisurely stroll.

The Upside to being Ill

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:01:53 +0000

.. is a lot of time to spend in introspection, curled up tight into a ball (or sprawled out like an amorphous mass in my case), unable to lift my head and throat as they were being bombarded by the triune forces of a sore, swollen throat, a fever and a banging headache to boot. And think did I – when I was not obsessively googling home remedies for what turned out to be some flu strain sent from hell.

Giving it a Year

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:25:41 +0000

If I dialed down my definition of success to its most basic, it would have three (or four) components:

Excel in (Corrosion & Materials) Engineering;
Be the best husband, father, son, brother and friend I can be;
Live in, and contribute to life in, a great city and a great church.

Simple enough, I guess. Unless you’re me with a well documented attention to detail – often bordering on over-thinking – with which every little, simple decision segues into a long, drawn out exercise in Planning, Reviewing and Risk v. Reward Assessment.

Subtly falling, or not...

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 22:45:06 +0000

Post London, TOj and I have kept in touch - primarily extended conversations about everything; work, life, failed loves and the stereotypes of Nigerian dudes in London as being primarily baby mama creators rather than the marrying kind.

Not sure where that leaves me, being the never married, single-since-April-2011 dude who has only being in two relationships all his life. We do have a knack for great conversations between us, it must be said, in addition to all the elements of the future Mrs S spreadsheet that she checks.

About Town: The Recapping Christmas Edition

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:00:35 +0000

And so I survived my first Aberdeen Christmas in a long while. It was with more than a little trepidation that I faced the end of the year; the niggling thought at the back of my mind initiated by the sudden realisation that my policy of disengaging from the myriad friendzoneships I was mired in had left me with no real excuse to make what had become fairly regular trips across the pond. Newcastle and London, as always, were temptingly good options - Newcastle because of the old school mates still down there, and London for the promise of piping hot moi-moi and the chance of a first face to face in near on two years with my super wing-woman K. Given my memories of my one and only Aberdeen Christmas to date - bucket loads of snow, lugging suitcases on to and off trains as I made the move up North, and missing a rendezvous with the only guy I knew in town at the time - I suppose my fears were justified if not entirely expected.

Between Two Worlds...

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 17:21:15 +0000

It will have been five years this year since I made the decision to up sticks, pack in the life I had lived up till that time and head out in the great unknown that was grad school, and what it would ultimately lead to a hiatus from Nigeria.

On paper I had a good life. A job that left me squarely ensconced in the safe, settledness of middle class Nigerian life, the prospect of a final salary pension with the option of cashing out at age 45 if I so wished, and the almost cast iron guarantee of an average 20% pay rise every two years thanks to an aggressive union.

2012 - The Year of the Detox

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 22:07:30 +0000

Although a year and some ago I thought I had truly gotten over the pain of the EJ debacle, I still managed to spend Christmas stateside attending a wedding, hanging with mutual friends and kind of hoping I would run into her. Neither happened, and when push came to shove I couldn’t bring myself to take the short hop across town to the city where she now lived. Coming into 2012 then, the targe t was to resolve a number of the other friendzoneships I had somehow gotten sucked in over the years.

Thankful Thursday #47

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 19:17:02 +0000

Thankful for:

More progress on Mum’s health - not quite the all clear yet, but she’s strong enough to speak clearly and has been discharged. Chemo continues though. #SmallMercies
More progress on the two main job fronts I am exploring - met the second HR person from the CNRL hiring team, got an email from the Recruiter for the Maersk role giving updates. Big next week coming up for these two roles as it were.
Finding God, or Him finding me, which sounds more like it because I haven’t done anything significantly different. Thankful for the new phase of quiet confidence I am in at the moment. #GodRocks

Song of the week: History - Matthew West.

About Town: The Essential Guide to (Aberdonian) Cab Conversations

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 15:00:52 +0000

There are only so many taxi rides that you can take before you begin to pick up on the subtleties of maintaining inane conversations. And if your default mode of transport is a taxi, you have no choice but to cultivate the art, unless awkward silence is your forte. Here then in no specific order are the non threatening things that keep coming up for me in my journeys in the Aberdeen area.

Thankful Thursdays #42

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 22:03:04 +0000

Thankful for:

Progress: After moaning on and on about being seemingly at a stand still my grad school applications appear to be moving again - received admission documents to the Welding Engineering program at Kirkland Lake, my Nigerian transcripts and references I’d requested from one of my old mates back in Nigeria.
Timely pick-me-ups: My small circle of friends comes through time and time again. This time I am thankful for the one buddy who responded to my (admittedly attention seeking :p tweet) about hurtling on, my cryptic expression for the phase of life where I feel like I am at a stand still. There was a whole back story to that, but I’m thankful for the listening ear.
Knowledgeable others: That I remain single is not for want of trying on my friends’ parts. Even though it sometimes feels like meddling, I have to admit it gives me a wee boost to know that they feel like I have unique selling points that will improve the lives of their sisters, nieces and best friends. :) That’s my reason and I’m sticking to it.

Milestones, lessons learned and unintended intermissions

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 22:31:02 +0000

It was my birthday a few weeks ago, and what should have been a routine, barely noticeable bump on the flat line that has become the ultra predictable, safety first, thirty-something year old life that is my lot somehow morphed into a swirling mess of mildly depressive emotions. The trigger was an epiphany of sorts, one that I had no business having. If having that epiphany was odd, where it hit was even odder - midway through my morning ablutions, just before the commode gave way to a four minute duel with sensodyne and a power toothbrush. Leading up to it, I was stoking along nicely, keeping up with my annual birthday ritual - deactivating my facebook account, turning off all but my private phone and lobbing a text message in the direction of the one friend I know whose birthday is in the same week as mine.

Waiting

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 22:23:55 +0000

The worst thing is the waiting - the alternative flip-flopping between the giddy heights of anticipation and the cold, calculated, calmness of detached pragmatism. Somehow or the other I have managed to find myself waiting on responses back from a whole slew of people - the Professor I am looking to work with on the Welding Program at Northern, the PRI Coordinator who needs to revert with a date for my Professional Review Interview and the neither here nor there email and skype exchanges between myself and Mlles S and P.

The Dating Wrap III

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 04:29:35 +0000

The one thing I feared would happen post Sister #2’s wedding was that the pressure to deliver on a steady relationship and marriage would get ratcheted up a few notches, and boy did it happen! the very next morning, Mum tried to visit with the kid brother and I, ostensibly to catch up with us, with the subtle undertone of trying to find out what our demob plans were.

We managed to escape on that morning, but we could only do so for so long. I eventually got a right good earful, with a few recommendations tossed in my direction for follow up - not bad in and of themselves except for the small matter of the fact that these were people from church I didn’t know, and hadn’t seen for close on ten years.

2011 - The Cliff Notes Version

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:26:59 +0000

If I had to drill it down:

Shitty in large bits, quotidian for the most part, a few big decisions taken, family milestones and ending the year realizing there’s a lot to be thankful for…..

But that’s life after all isn’t it… Happy new Year peeps…

Kicking off the Christmas silly season, breaking my beer duck and the 2011 wrap

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 10:02:00 +0000

Mid December usually kicks off the Christmas party silly season out here. Given that as far back as October, our coffee room conversations had started to take on a decidedly Christmas-sy bent, it was no surprise that the first event of the season came early this year – a team lunch at the Soul bar on Union Street in November no less. Thanks to the atrocious weather I ended up marooned offshore, restricted to taking to Facebook to moan about missing the free food and a half day off work.

Seven Priorities for Life

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:37:05 +0000

I spent the weekend going through Michael Hyatt’s cute little e-book Creating Your Personal Life Plan. In no particular order, below are the things I feel need to be priorities going forward:

God: World-view, faith, God and how these interact in defining a moral compass for me is a crucial part of my developing fully into the sort of bloke I need to become. It is time for me to start engaging my various proclivities which are preventing me from gaining the clarity of thought and direction that I need.
Health: Whilst I have not had any major health scares, truth is I am overweight by some. A few years ago, I had blood pressures that were way out of the ‘safe’ and ’normal’ zone [Thankfully, I passed my last offshore medical in flying colours]. Keeping fit, counting calories and staying health has to be one of my priorities going forward.
Family: Whilst I remain single at the moment, deep in my heart is a longing to meet someone, find love and raise a family together. Two dimensions stand out here - finding the one and being the sort of bloke she’d want to be with. These both have to be priorities going forward - engaging the ‘knowledgable others’ in my circle and being open enough to solicit, accept and implement honest feedback where it is offered on areas where personal improvement is required.
Personal Development: Learning continuously, and always reviewing where I am versus where I should be has to be a key component of my life. Big things are expected of me, and getting those done depends on continuously improving and finding the over arching knowledge and foresight required to grow into those big roles. This will have two facets: Career, in which I develop into a globally recognised Corrosion/Materials/Integrity Engineer, and personally where I progress and develop my public speaking, and writing skills.
Friends: Given the large number of acquaintances I have, the few real friends I have (and I would count O & I as the two stand out ones at the moment) who time and time again have proven they are worth their weight in gold, and more, deserve some reciprocal attention. They are going to have to be priorities going forward - they’ve earned it!
Finances: Finances are a key part of fulfilling the responsibilities that I will have as a Father, Husband, Son and social justice campaigner. Learning how to manage and grow my money is a critical part of the me I will become.
Service: One more priority is taking all the gifts and blessings that I have been given and pouring them all out in service to others. The details of this are not exactly clear at the moment - especially considering the significant evolution my world view is going through at the moment - but finding the time and the place to make a difference for others ’less blessed’ as to be a priority going forward.

Unfinished business

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 18:56:11 +0000

In a few days time, I shall pack my bags and head across the Atlantic one more time. The driver is some unfinished business from 2009. There was the small matter of a conundrum which developed in April of 2009. The ladies in question were F and my ’nearly girls’TheB and S.

Over the course of that year F and I would finally put ourselves out of the misery of our forced dalliance, for good. ‘S would turn to me as a husband finder, and TheB and I would drift apart for no real reason.

Not Yet A Fairy Tale

Thu, 03 Nov 2011 17:16:45 +0000

When the clock chimed in the New Year, I was cuddled up next to the girlfriend at the time. I had my feet on a foot stool, was sat in a couch in front of the television and was cradling her head as it lay on my chest, whilst we mused about the new year, and all the wonderful, beautiful things we hoped it would bring us. I had flown nearly 5000 miles to make this moment, and in the heat of the moment, life couldn’t have felt better. There was me, the one woman in the world I loved, and a bright and shining future ahead of us. If ever there was a fairy tale moment in my life, that was it.

About Town: Pub signage...

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:02:28 +0000

As seen in the window of a pub on Union Street.. Couldn’t be truer…

Counting down...

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:34:51 +0000

I think it is a little too early, but out here in ruralville the airwaves are already awash with ads for Christmas get aways. At work our coffee room conversations too are taking a decidedly christmas-sy bent: turkey shopping, holiday bookings, grand children, the company christmas ball and fine wine seem to come to the fore a little easier these days. The weather man promised an Indian summer of sorts, but our sun - for all its light - seems to be the evil twin of the one which terrorised us a scant few months ago, all light and no warmth ably aided by the wind which howls through every open space like a spurned suitor.

On being single...

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 18:48:42 +0000

Rebirth says men are never 100% single, and offers further clarification in a comment:

In my opinion, being single means free from any baggage, no causal dating or stringing along, emotionally available and willing to commit if its the right person…but i find most guys have more than 2 women they are talking to at a time

And I have been thinking. If I met someone (new) today, would I be emotionally available to commit, if it was the right person? Most probably not. Every time a picture of EJ flashes or her name comes up in a conversation, I realize I still haven’t forgotten, still haven’t let go. Am I ’talking’ to any other woman? No. There are the long term friends elC, TheB and ER who ostensibly might be options - but we’ve been stuck so much in the friends zone, I doubt anything can progress from that.

On the futility of forgetting

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 19:20:57 +0000

Memory is a strange thing. Even the most tenuous of links can breach the walls of enforced forgetfulness, triggering the release of a barrage of memories once thought to have been successfully sequestered deep beyond the reach of even the most pernicious of random triggers.

There are the shared banalities, the simple everyday things which in themselves hold no sentimental value but which in the context of a shared life paradoxically serve to bridge the miles. She, bored in a work meeting, emailing you a doodle of the big fat goat head that is her boss, you roasting rice to dryness, setting off the fire alarms and eliciting mock sympathy from her, all in good faith.

Putting More Men on the job

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:10:11 +0000

Amidst the continuing babble of concerned friends, I may have hit upon my very own final solution. Granted it is decidedly more benign than the Nazi version, but as a strategy to buy myself much needed respite, it has worked like a charm. When asked awkward questions about being single when hanging out with the lads, my answer goes along the lines of being too busy, but declaring that I am very open to recommendations from so-called ‘knowledgeable others’.

Thankful..... for Nando's

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 20:21:15 +0000

Between working extra hours on a couple of projects at work - and my natural proclivity to laziness - honing utilising what precious little cooking skills I have has been relegated to the very back of a fully loaded back burner. It hasn’t helped that the main African shop in town is off my route (and involves an extended walk to and fro the nearest bus stop if I were to use it), or indeed that the final surviving African eatery in town closed shop a couple of years ago.

Thankful... for breathers

Thu, 19 May 2011 12:33:51 +0000

The pointlessness of most work is never more obvious than when it is suddenly cut short. Like an unexpected breath of fresh the relentless flow of work in my direction has suddenly stopped, even if only for a day. In it’s stopping it has become clear that a lot of what I had- as a matter of course- sifted through daily was unnecessary.

It is the team day off, and the brilliant sunshine currently bathing the city in its glow makes it seem like a particularly potent rainmaker was contracted to make it a success. Usually by this time, I have been on the phone five or six times to clarify one issue or the other with my offshore counterpart (who I outrank on paper, but earn way much less than), attended a couple of meetings and or have had to respond to a request for information.

Re: Conundrums...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:28:51 +0000

It seems like a bloke is forever bound to trawl life, f aced with conundrums every step of the way - safety versus adventure versus satisfaction… Sigh…

Update: Miss Complicated got married last Saturday.. One less conundrum then.

Decisions, Decisions..

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:29:10 +0000

To do a Fernando Torres or not is the million seven thousand dollar question facing me now. The situation can’t be more similar - a move across town to the old enemy, at a ‘wrong’ time, and a few kegs of bad blood spilt on both sides. Sometimes too much choice is bad…. sigh.

Web Reads... 27Feb2011

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 19:28:23 +0000

The Queen advertises for a dish washer to come on staff… My local MSP wonders if they’ve not heard of a dish washing machine.
The WHO drills down into the alcohol stats.. Apparently alcohol killed more people than AIDS or TB in 2010.. Sobering..
Understanding the story.. Thirteen perspectives….
Brain chemicals and dating.. A primer.
Teju Cole’s ‘Open City’ hits the shelves… The New Yorker, The Daily Beast and The Apostrophe weigh in with reviews.
The kid named Facebook..Ostensibly its a testament to the impact FB had on the Egypt Revolution.. Hopefully, the kid doesn’t get a lot of stick for the name though..
There’s an app for that… Tracking relationship changes on Facebook gets the Web2.0 makeover….. SMH..
Web mourning?
Help for the blokes - wristbands that warn of potentially PMSing partners.
Bringing faiths together by cuisine.. The Faith and The Hot Dog show..

Web Reads.. 18Feb2011

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 18:44:51 +0000

‘Spiritual’ love goes social… The story of Vicars connected by a witty comment on Facebook
A soup ladle turns out to be a life saver in more ways than one.. Meet the bloke saved from a tiger by his wife’s soup ladle
‘Life is short, have an affair?’… Al Mohler muses on the Ashley Madison business model..
GABA receptors may be the reason for anxiety around that ’time of the month’ for the lasses..
The ’thief’ who sued the bloke he tried to steal from - and got 13k pounds..
A not so short history of Aji-no-moto.. And the scare scaremongering around MSG.
Man vs Machine.. 1-0 to the machines on Jeopardy..

2008.... Again..

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 22:14:05 +0000

I suspect that the truest measure of how sensibly one has aged is how well one is able to take a long hard look at choices - and their potential long term effects - before acting. Time, that most elusive of customers, respects no one. From the day that we are born, our share - ladled without so much as an explanation lobbed in our direction - ineluctably runs out like sand in an hour glass. Each passing second once spent is lost, left to float in the seething morass that is the conflation of opportunities missed, acts of omission and of omission and perhaps on the odd occasion windows of opportunity fully utilised.

On Turning Thirty...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:32:00 +0000

I never celebrated turning thirty. The significance of achieving that chronological milestone was lost in the hustle of every life - a barely discernible peak in the flat line that had become a monotonous existence. I had just lost a cast iron guarantee to return to my old job in Nigeria followed quickly by the petering out of what I thought was a nice, strong girl connection. One day I fell asleep, the next I awoke to being thirty plus.

The 2011 Plan

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:17:08 +0000

This is slowly becoming a yearly thing on this blog. The 2009 and 2010 Versions are linked. Since 2010 I have opted for focus areas rather than a list.. So here goes the 2011 plan.

God/Faith: Failed to make any headway in this regards last year - It’s a new year.. Let’s hope we fare better this year with resolving the God issues and getting back into a church community.
Work & Career: I safely navigated getting back into work after a poorly thought out decision led to me quitting my last job. This year the focus is on chasing a couple of certifications to boost my profile as an independent contributor. This is slightly complicated by the Girlfriend being stuck in North America. This year I intend to get my professional membership of at least one UK and one North American Engineering body sorted.
People and Socials: Last year was the year I splurged on social media connections. This year, I need to have a strategy for social media interaction. The goal of this strategy is to focus on sharing information, keeping the loose chatter to an absolute minimum. For real life connections, I have been blessed with having a couple of old friends from undergrad in my city, so as a minimum, I should hang out with them once every couple of months..
Health and Weight: 2010 was the year, the bulge finally beat me. The keg ballooned out of control. I bought a home treadmill in my attempt to regain control. This year, I hope to win the battle - running thrice weekly on the treadmill.
Family: The family connection hasn’t been great up to the end of the year. This year I hope to call the parents and siblings at least once each week.
Financial: The numbers from last year indicated I saved approximately 25% of my gross earnings - in spite of significant expenditure on trips to the US and gadgets. This year, I hope to up the percentage to 30%. In conjunction with a promised pay rise at work, it should be a good year - if I avoid splurging on any new gadgets.

Reflections.... The Year in Happenings..

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 16:29:58 +0000

Having earned (if I say so) the right to put my feet up and relax at the end of what has been a particularly hectic year of working, travelling, reading and volunteering, one has the luxury of reflecting on how the year has panned out on a personal note. This time last year I had just packed up my bags, cut my final ties and jumped on the East Coast train service up north to Aberdeen. There was the small matter of needing to restart life on a number of fronts - new job, new city, new house, new friends and all. The first few weeks took getting used to, especially as the job description involved a change of focus - from being the bossy, fastidious-to-a-fault, hard to please client to being part of a service delivery team. January was spent managing the work transition, eased somewhat by having the use of shared company accommodation alongside a colleague with Geordie connections. There were many nights of discussions on a motley of topics well into the night as we both grappled with coming to terms with redemption and second chances - he after invasive heart surgery, me upon returning to daily work after a messy resignation.

The Year in... Infographics..

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:53:01 +0000

A few of the info-graphics that captured my eye this year..

Football Chalkboards: For us the discerning football enthusiasts, chalkboards were the revelations of 2010. Granted the Guardian debuted with them in early 2009, but the Roy vs Rafa debate for us Liverpool fans ensured chalkboards became the ultimate resource for assessing how high up the pitch the lads press, passes completed, oh and the aptly named heatmaps.
Twitter is not a conversation: Us Twitter apologists usually claim Twitter as a conversation for being one of the reasons we stay on Twitter. Sadly, the data does not support that claim, as this info-graphic from 2010 showed.
The world according to Facebook: In December, Paul Butler at Facebook came up with an interesting info-graphic; a world map based on Facebook connections.
Marriage In America: TIME asked if marriage in America was still required. Al Mohler argued that we all do, and this PewSocial info-graphic captured the data.
Infostate of Africa: Fascinating… via AppAfrica Flickr account…

2010: The Year in.... Cabs

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 18:05:04 +0000

I think cab drivers are a microcosm of the larger society and that if a sufficiently large sample is analysed, one can gain critical insights into the mind of a city. This has to be the year where I used cabs the most. Tight deadlines at work, atrocious weather conditions, moving houses and a few late night jaunts around town conspired to leave me needing cabs at various times this year. The downside was largely financial – I ended up racking up significant costs on renting cabs over the year. On the plus side, I think I gained a window into the mindset of this city.

Winter's first blows, 2010 and other random thoughts...

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 19:39:34 +0000

Winter has struck its first tentative blows - two successive days last week we woke up to see our world carpeted with a thin layer of snow. Karla - Benny’s wife who has lived all her life in this town - swears that this is the first time she’s seen snow fall in October. Considering last winter was one in which several firsts going back thirty years were bested, that singular piece of news leaves one with a sense of dread. Those who should know better also swear by their instruments that this will be yet another long, hard, harsh winter. In anticipation - and I should add as usual - the gas and power suppliers are inching the rates upwards. Not since 2008 has there being such a significant hike in prices. Predictably there is discontent at huge profits, pay for executives and other such perceived signs of exploitation in the face of price rises. One paper goes as far as saying ‘Christmas will be ruined’ - for an annual average increase of a princely seventy pounds or 67.2 bottles of Becks premium lager…. The days when we bemoaned twenty-six degree weather seem so far away now..

Lessons learned...

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 20:27:16 +0000

A bloke can do no worse than believe his own hype…

Sigh.

Of unintended consequences...

Sat, 09 Oct 2010 06:03:58 +0000

Sometimes even the best laid plains falter- tripped up by the most mundane of details which to the planner were irrelevant. What then can we do but stoically shrug, and move on to the next one….

When things unplanned lead to desired- yet unintended- consequences we must also hail our good fortune and take the chance proffered with both hands. It was Leonard Ravenhill who said:

’the opportunity of a lifetime must be harnessed in the lifetime of the opportunity’….

Free Food's great...

Sun, 04 Jul 2010 06:27:14 +0000

Free food is great, especially when you are a confirmed bachelor with an aversion for cooking. I’m sure if my pots and pans have a choice they would vote to have me back in their next ’lives’. Such is the ease of their lives! Providence must have decided to be kind to me though, as a few hours after complaining of feeling listless I got a phone call from my work buddy O to head off to the beach. He and I have an inside joke where I hail him as my mentor and he says I’m much too old to be mentored by him, and considering the boring lives we lead, hanging out is always a plus. Fast forward a few hours and we head off to the beach where we go to this Chinese buffet thingy at Jimmy Chung. Two huge cokes, lamb ribs, some curried rice and soup later, we could belch with satisfaction at a great days work - all for nine pounds. I should definitely do this again!

Re: 2010

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:06:00 +0000

Coming into 2010, it was clear this was the year that could potentially make or break me. Coming off a mid-life crisis in 2009 a nasty break up in 2008 that was finally formalized in 2009, and major changes that seemed intent on tossing my well laid plans aside, I thought four things would be a small number of items to focus on - turns out even those four are a big ask.

Living Dangerously...

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 10:34:56 +0000

Talent is the desire to practice…..It is that you love something so much that you are willing to make an enormous sacrifice and an enormous commitment to that, whatever it is – task, game, sport, what have you.

- Malcom Gladwell

Last year I closed out a fair bit of my plans - at least I was waaay above the average 12%. This year, I decided I would only do one thing - Live Dangerously.

In Retrospect...

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 09:13:33 +0000

This has been one hell of a ride. There was change aplenty - the good, the bad and the iffy. In hindsight, maybe some decisions in 2008 were hasty, maybe they were not…Bottom line is that I survived..

Call them random occurrences, put them down to luck or whatever – I think it was Divine Providence that pulled me through some really difficult times. It had to be – from getting THE opportunity after it had closed, to significant delays on bus timings that enabled me catch the train that got the ball rolling, to having a friend leave her house at the just the right time I needed a new house to stay in a new city (P you totally rock!), to getting Brooke Fraser’s Shadowfeet at the time things felt the bleakest, there had to be some orchestration behind it all. The plus side is I learned a few hard lessons - still learning even newer, harder ones.

The Last Day... Again.

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:24:23 +0000

Today I leave the NorthEast, hopefully for the last time in a bit. I have called this place home; lived here, eaten here, made new friends here, grabbed a degree here, cried here, and now its off to new challenges for me.

In total I’ve spent just under eighteen months here, eighteen months of near perfect freedom, aside of the back breaking swotting for exams. The people have been great too; I only had two questionable incidents - one where a clearly drunk bloke kicked an empty coke can in my direction and shouted a poor imitation of a racial slur, and the other when some kids made all sorts of noises and pointed as I walked past them in Brandling Park.

New Year unResolutions...

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 09:02:56 +0000

I found these whilst cleaning up my e-mail archives over the weekend.. Enjoy. New Year Resolutions you can keep! Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3. Read less. Makes you think. 4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff. 5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. 6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast. 7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1. 8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine. 9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. 10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. 11. Not have eight children at once. 12. Get in a whole NEW rut! 13. Start being superstitious. 14. Personal goal: bring back disco. 15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura. 16. Buy an ‘83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system. 17. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash. 18. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords. 19 . Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. 20. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace. 21. Not eat cloned meat. 22. Create loose ends. 23. Get more toys. 24. Get further in debt. 25. Not believe politicians. 26. Break at least one traffic law. 27. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. 28. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases. 29 . Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet. 30. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks. 31. Associate with even worse business clients. 32. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them. 33. Wait around for opportunity. 34. Focus on the faults of others. 35. Mope about my faults. 36 . Never make New Year’s resolutions again.

Twiddling Thumbs...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:04:00 +0000

She popped up on my IM window today – the first time in months that she has. In an oddly unsettling way, it seems odd that she appeared. Odd becuase a mere few months ago, we were seemingly inseparable. I was caught in two minds - to buzz her or not… Truth is there was never any closure. All we had was a slow drifting apart as we each sought to focus more on our own things…. In theory, we are still normal – still friends, still confidants - the only difference from the days of a somewhat burgeoning friendship being the fact that life has happened, and squeezed the ‘thing’ I thought could grow into a dry lifeless crust.

The Christmas Blues....

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 12:54:00 +0000

Walked down Northumberland road today - had to go see the Opticians at Vision Express. Kenny’s official girlfriend’s bum broke my last pair of glasses - whether by an act of omission or one of commission I know not any more.

The entire street was lined with Christmas decorations, and manequinns waltzing to the sounds of well known carols blaring from the speakers on all the shops - Fenwick, M&S and the lot. It is a sharp reminder that its another Christmas away from family.

Dear God, Deliver me from Greggs!

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:54:08 +0000

Each morning, my nostrils awake to redolent scents, wafting outward from the Greggs eatery next to my house. Sadly, this particular branch is close enough to allow some of the scents find their way in, but just far enough to befuddle my sense of smell in such a way that I cannot precisely tell which is which.

Some days I can almost bet my sweet life that they are arranging hot piping amala there. At other times, I am positive I have heard inhaled the smell of akara, of moi moi and even party jollof rice! Problem though is there is no way any of these can smell like the above; unless there is a Naija chic surreptitiously boiling her own things on the side..

Random-isms......

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:17:58 +0000

Quite a few changes have occurred around me in the last few weeks… chief of which was moving out of my previous lodgings for a flat where a couple of blokes I have known from Nigeria are staying. All has been fine and dandy except for a few issues namely:

1. The boys can snore! Chei, sometimes it sounds like a contest. Different people all ‘hee-hawing’ simultaneously. The paper thin walls fail colossally in muffling the sounds!

On the subject of lifelong learning.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 20:25:33 +0000

Ben Dulap, President of Wofford College speaking at TED2007 on the subject of a Passionate Life quotes Mahatma Gandhi

Live each day as if it were your last, learn as if you were to live forever.

Lifelong learning - continuously aiming to understand the rules of engagement in every sphere of life that intersects us - is the key to succeeding; it would seem.

That is another life long lesson I am adding to my burgeoning list.

Sudden Clarity

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 12:19:00 +0000

Damn – I KNOW what the problem with my life is – discipline to do what I need to do, when I need to. My time management issues all flow from and into the discipline thing! I have very clear plans on direction, and goals - I NEED to start planning my day and acting on it ASAP, leaving procrastination behind.

Life is Hard Work

Thu, 14 May 2009 12:06:00 +0000

Quite frankly life is hard work - plans and programs are all well and good… It is in the dirty places, the grime infested workplaces that real change occurs. Rubber hitting the road, people knuckling down and acting on the decisions, plans and thoughts that they have created.

Think - Plan - But then I need to ensure I am Doing stuff!

When death calls...

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:03:47 +0000

They say the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh… Heard some really heart wrenching news today after signing on to Yahoo Messenger on a whim. An old friend of mine is no more - dead.. The worst part is that she’d been dead for over a year, and I only got to know today.

Over-elaborating...

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:26:15 +0000

Whoever said Don’t Fix what ain’t broke was speaking out of the right side of their minds. Best believe me!

In a queer way, I am a victim of trying to over-elaborate. Life was good – great job with decent prospects, a fair amount of money in the bank and the security being around family afforded. In a fit of petulance at a work decision that went a tad bit awry, I headed back to school to chase an MSc.

The 2009 Master Plan...

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:24:00 +0000

2008…What a year…Seems like it was only yesterday when my friend and I drove to church to attend the New year Service and to get the year rolling……Lots of stuff have happened to and around me.. Wonder what the highlights were tho…

On a personal note heading back to school ranks up there… One humid March evening, I finally decided I’d had enough of working on the edge; after spending the 4th straight weekend at work trying to troubleshoot a pipeline problem…. Got home that night,and started the online application that has landed me on the MSc program I’m currently on…..apparently to the distaste of my bosses - who told me they thought I was doing fine without the MSc and that it was unnecessary….Who cares? I needed to keep my sanity……My cause can’t be helped by the fact that a number of chaps also decided to flee in my wake too… duh…

New Year, New start, New Life...

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:41:36 +0000

I think I am lost…. Caught in the never land between here and there, and never quite fitting into either. The last eighteen months have been intense - filled with activities which have changed me. Some came close to breaking me - like losing my Nigerian job, like enduring that nasty breakup, like feeling like the world caved in all at once… I like to imagine I survived, and am slowly picking the pieces of my life back up and together again.