--- Coffee, particularly when it is -5 deg C outside Fried chicken, in all its various incarnations Digging out the right answer to a particularly difficult question Music, particularly ones which take me back memory lane Handwritten notes (when received)
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash – For Day 13 of the AoM 31 Days of Journaling Challenge; A Brain Dump using the GTD Trigger List. Work Projects Started Not Completed DL Management Strategy OFC Transition CCMTs & CCMT Action Management UKCS TAR Work Programs T T-A Communication File Note Area Reviews S Area PW Failures RCFA Work Projects That Need To Be Started CMS Year End Review T CCMT Preparation 2019 PoB Requirements for UKCS Projects 2018 Spend Reconciliation 2017/18 Appraisal Personal Projects Started Not Completed archive.rustgeek.me relaunch News31 EoY Video Preparation News31 EoY Review for magazine Personal Projects Yet To Start archive.rustgeek.me theme modifications 2019 objectives and planning Alicante Trip with S
One of the unintended consequences of taking my mate search more seriously has been taking time out to define what the absolute must-haves in the woman I date and eventually marry are. Given the changes that have happened in my life, I am hoping the list is more realistic, and more real-worldly… So here goes. A Nigerian: Ideally the mate would be Nigerian. If you listened to my mother she would have to be Edo, Delta or Yoruba. I like to imagine I am more egalitarian and would be open to dating outside those very narrow confines. When push comes to shove, even though a Nigerian mate is preferred, I suspect I may be open to dating from other nationalities. Be on a similar time-line with me: Ideally, I would like to get hitched by YE 2012 (if I remain in the UK), or in 2013 (if I go down the Welding and Materials Engineering PhD route). Granted, it is impossible to legislate for oneself, much less others, but ideally, the mate I pursue should be looking to get married on a similar time-line. Between 27 and 31 by YE 2013: Research indicates that the ideal age gap between spouses is 5 years. Given I will be 34 by YE 2013, the potential mate would need to be 29 at the time. Rather than apply this mechanistically, I reckon a band of +/-2 years around the mean is a good compromise. Additionally, I do find from talking to my female friends that age 25 appears to be the age when women tend to get serious. Before then, they usually are looking to get a boyfriend for hanging out interminably with. At the age I am, I’m looking for a bit more intentionality which is why I think my future mate would be in this age bracket. Have a healthy acceptance of the importance of family: The kid brother and I are really close, a legacy of years spent sharing a room, and being co-conspirators against the totalitarian regime of the parents. Same goes for my kid sister who virtually still worships me. :) Any potential mates will ideally recognize that family is important and be willing to make changes to accommodate them, ultimately prioritizing US over other connections though. A more outgoing personality: The one accusation I am unable to refute is that I am somewhat picky when it comes to selecting friends. In general, I tend to be the one behind the scenes, observing and analyzing rather than being the life of the party. My ideal partner would be someone who is more outgoing than I am to offset my natural inclination to be reserved. Possess sufficient ‘General Intelligence’ to converse well: A number of topics engage my energies and passions - football, public policy, some politics and social justice issues in general. The ideal mate would be someone who is able to appreciate these things and more, and is able to engage in an intellectual discussion, being able to coherently engage a variety of topics. An appreciation for the arts – the lyrical flow of Yusef Komunyakaa, the exquisite prose of Soyinka, the mellifluous tunes of Coltrane amongst others - would definitely be a plus. Focused and driven to succeed: The ideal mate would have a fully developed life with drives and passions that I can contribute to. Marriage to me should be a symbiotic partnership, where both parties far exceed their individual abilities thanks to the influence of the other. As I have aged, I have transited from believing that a bloke is the alpha-and-omega to a model of shared growth. Has developed a coherent worldview that is essentially Judeo-Christian: Whilst I joke about being in a state of relapsed faith, my worldview is still essentially Christian, and one of my seven priorities for 2012 is sorting out that dissonance.The ideal mate would have a similar worldview, even if it is not lived out in a rabidly spiritual way and have a heart for God and people. Same sense of long term direction: Social justice, engaging younger people and being useful in the context of local community are big issues for me. The ideal mate would recognise this and buy into them, or at least appreciate them, if not actively participating. In summary then, the ideal mate would be between 26 and 29 now, be between 4-11’ and 5-8’ tall, broadly subscribe to Christian values and ethics, and be looking for a serious relationship at the time..
Lists appear to have suddenly become the leitmotif of the few blogs I read. From Don Miller sharing his fiancee’s list to Esco imagining the All Nigerian Girl, to AnyaPosh, Miss Enigma, Sting and all the lasses doing that 30 day blogging thing, everyone appears to be sharing bits and pieces of lists. When I was much younger I was a big fan of lists - on everything from five year goals and plans, gadgets to buy to what I wanted in a spouse - complete with excel spreadsheets which calculated weighted averages across the various categories. The one thing I didn’t bargain for was that it would become a mechanistic check-the-box-or-check-out exercise - that happened - nor did I question the basis on which the items were identified, or if indeed I was at a time and place where I could expect those qualities from others. ...
I identified a few key things that I need to work on in my life to improve on myself majorly. The prioritized list I will be working off is below: Develop a reading schedule: financial, self motivation, self esteem, writing and career related books. Schedule times for laptop gaming, internet and other non essential activites. Build a plan for improving my life in the categories of Al Mohler’s excellent piece - The Marks of Real Manhood. Develop a plan for regular bible study and prayer, determine a time and stick to it Document my peculiar sin vulnerabilities: identify the triggers and fight for the life of me! Identify two mentors - one in the workplace and one for my personal life. Set up weekly teleconferences or meetings as appropriate. De-clutter my life. Reassess all my people connections and downsize to a manageable number. Complete my MSc, identify critical modules I will require in the work place and read up on them before I get to resume work. Get a complete physical exam done. Identify any potential health vulnerabilities and ensure they are in line for focused attention. Maintain my weight - can’t afford to increase health risk levels by bulking up. Develop mechanisms for tracking and assessing need before expenditure. Consider adding a need assessment module to my excel tracking sheet. Read up on investment opportunities in Nigeria. Develop mechanisms for assessing investments and prioritizing them for action. Identify worthy causes and get plugged into a couple. Hopefully, I will be able to state categorically at the end of the year that I have worked through the list.. I then shall measure effectiveness and decide which new directions I need to chase!