The-L-Files

Image Source The conversation - when it happened - happened on a whim; as unplanned as could have been. The intent - to set up a face to face meeting later in the week - quickly snowballed into a full-on conversation about the direction the whole L thing was headed. As it turned out, it was headed nowhere. It, the culmination of months of chasing, was about as anti-climactic as could be, worsened perhaps by how sure I thought I was that this was it. A lot of things sucked about it - not least the fact that the reasons offered; the uncertainty around work and the pressure from family all felt like convenient cop-outs. That my interest, made known clearly and consistently over the past few months ultimately counted for nothing felt like a slap in my face. The alternative too felt inferior. True he was probably a lot more heeled than I was, but there was baggage which I didn’t have which - given the seriousness with which L had seemed to chase this - should have counted for a lot more than it. ...

We saw Eddie the Eagle today - after much planning, to-ing and fro-ing as has become the norm with us - as did a couple of people I know from work and church.. Cue a few awkward silences and dodgy moments where I wondered how much information to share as part of the customary introductions, given one of the work guys is the head honcho and this fluid undefined phase we are in… ...

To not get ahead of oneself, to not be so swept up by the exhilaration of the moment that one loses sight of the bigger picture; that there is still a whole lot of knowing to yet do… #HeartsOnSleeves

For seasons of uncertainty

Spent the entire weekend building up to a conversation with L. The arguments and counter arguments were all laid out in my head, in my very worst Ted Mosby imitation. Here on the cusp of the actual meeting, it doesn’t feel so cut and dried in my head anymore, which may or may not be a good thing… I guess I’ll know soon enough how it goes.. #Pensive

At the movies with L to see The Revenant - as much an endurance test for viewers who have to sit through all 2 hours 36 minutes of it as it is for Leonardo Di Caprio’s character, stumbling through the frozen lands he must to reach home and find a closure of sorts - I find myself wondering what the etiquette for movie watching is these days. Given how the action drags, I am tempted to try to make small talk, keen to not miss the opportunity finally getting a chance to catch up at the 8th or 9th time of trying affords. ...