The-S-Files on A Geek's Life

Becoming

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 04:07:27 +0000

Image: “War Horse and Peace Horse” by Sue Halstenberg. For The Sunday Muse #42.

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You and I like two fiery stars locked in the embrace of an eternal dance are becoming as one, our light growing in Coherence brighter now than it once was. Against the odds war and peace are finding common ground, making all the broken whole again.

2019: The Year of Living Intentionally

Tue, 01 Jan 2019 19:42:44 +0000

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If I had to boil down the essence of the year of being thirty eight into one word, it would be coasting. It felt like I lurched from one crisis to the other, my actions driven more by the need to fight whatever fire glowed brightest than any form of plan or structure. As I stand here on the cusp of turning forty, I feel like something needs to change significantly - a fool at forty is a fool forever they say. That, and that t here is someone who is significantly affected by my actions only makes it more imperative that I get my SH*T together soon.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 19: On Romance, A Reflection

Mon, 19 Nov 2018 19:10:44 +0000

For Day 19 of The Art of Manliness Journaling Prompts

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The one romantic relationship I am in is with S, my wife of just over a year. As highlighted in my response to the Day 5 prompt, it has hardly being the smoothest of relationships, not helped by living apart and both being very busy people.

The one area I’d like to improve is improving the quality of our relationship primarily from the perspective of making clear to her that she is the priority in my life and that every other thing including work and sustenance lies in second place. To achieve this my intention is to communicate better with her, making the effort to stay in touch on a daily basis regardless of what pressures work and life pose. Fingers crossed.

31 Days of Journaling, Day 5: To S, A Letter

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:13:54 +0000

For the Day 5 prompt from AOM’s 31 Day Journaling Challenge.

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It wasn’t love at first sight but a slow melding of hearts and mind into a coherent whole, a journey of a thousand miles started by a single step which very quickly became a leap of faith into the great unknown of the future.

Now with the benefit of a year behind us, it is clear that there was something here all along, gems hidden beneath the hard outer crust of life and all the bumps and scrapes it sent our ways. There is hope though, that bumps and all we will get there, somehow.

#NaPoWriMo18: Day 27

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 18:37:33 +0000

For S. Six months.

Beneath the light of the autumn sun, perched on the edge of that seventh hill we quivered in the chill of the breeze, basking in the delight of a promise shared. I walked away with your name etched on my skin, a weight borne in my heart like an anchor in an uncertain storm. Moons ago there was trepidation there,but now like a once floundering ship finally headed home, there is a whole, where a hole once was.

#5 - Beloved

Thu, 01 Feb 2018 19:30:48 +0000

St Alban’s Cathedral, December 2016…. For the Word Press photo prompt, Beloved, for which there can really only be one response.

The Diary: The Paphos Files

Tue, 14 Nov 2017 11:02:08 +0000

The first bits of Cyprus we glimpsed as our flight began the descent towards Paphos were wind turbines slowly turning in what must have been a slight evening breeze, and houses which from the height looked like small, matchboxes pressed into the sides of the hilly terrain below us. Although it was only 5.20pm local time, it was quickly growing dark, which at first seemed odd until I realised just how much closer to the equator we were here than in England from where we were arriving. This trip to Cyprus was at the instance of S, ten days in Paphos being her idea of a honeymoon. The hope was to get the chance to catch our breaths after what had been a whirlwind three weeks in which we had managed to get hitched without losing our minds; the pressure of a large Nigerian wedding notwithstanding.

Wordpress Photo Challenge: Peek

Fri, 03 Nov 2017 12:48:39 +0000

The view that meets my eye on day 1 of 10 in Paphos, Cyprus. Truly looking forward to chilling and bonding with S, and catching my breath after what has been two weeks lived on the very edge of sanity (A Nigerian Wedding will do that to you).

--- For the Wordpress photo challenge, Peek.

The S Files: Coming Up For Air

Tue, 26 Sep 2017 17:49:25 +0000

The morphing of what began as an interesting way to spend my summer Fridays last year into full scale wedding planning has left me feeling ragged and in need of a time out; the colours, people and costs involved being mind boggling for a bloke who has built the last few years of his life around his me time. Far from feeling like chickening out, I’m more grateful than miffed, seeing as becoming a husband and a father are key components of my life plan.

Weekly Photo Challenge - Reflecting

Thu, 11 May 2017 17:01:14 +0000

For the prompt, reflecting; which brings to mind the chill of a late (post Christmas) walk in Verulamium Park, a precursor to a splendid evening in St Albans spent with S. Of course, there were waffles and hot mugs of chocolate to warm us up afterwards. #Reflecting.

Joy, Three Things

Wed, 30 Nov 2016 19:06:49 +0000

For S, and the Discover Challenge One-Two-Three

– How easy it is To laugh, to bask in the glow Of infectious Joy;

How the patter of Your feet, like the sound of rain On a sun-baked day

Brings relief, and hope That tomorrow will come in Peace, and you’ll return

A New Beginning

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 12:06:14 +0000

Just under two weeks after S and I had out first serious spat, the subject of which was the pace or lack thereof of our thing, I ended up sat on a couch in Chelmsford, meeting her parents. The opportunity had come together very quickly, they being around and I being able to find a couple of days to make the trip to meet them.

The meeting itself felt at times like an interview, an inquisition and a friendly chat; good in the sense that it put into context the protective nature of the relationships S has with her wider family. On the way back, I broached the difficult 6-month, ‘Us’ question, her choice of answer - what do you think - suggesting that perhaps events had overtaken that by far. That I agree with. So here we are then - official, in a manner of speaking. Beginning again then, the first day of what I can only hope is a long, fruitful relationship :)

Of Spats, and Lessons Learned

Tue, 18 Oct 2016 16:50:33 +0000

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God has a sense of humour, that much I am convinced of. The most recent evidence of this has got to be firing up John Piper’s Daily Devotional, Solid Joys, to find out that today’s devotional had marriage firmly in its sights.

The humour was because S and I had just had our first spat of sorts the night before. At the nexus of this spat was a difference in opinion as to where we were on the relationship continuum. I was of the opinion that she needed to provide a response that defined what we were - being just really good friends or people in an active relationship that had marriage as it’s end goal. Her contention was that the fact that she gave up time and energy to meet up with me and do stuff suggested that there was firm interest on her part, but that time was required to get to a place where she could formally say ‘Yes’ to my entreaties.

About Town: Weird gifts, names and Children on Trains

Sat, 24 Sep 2016 06:44:20 +0000

Sometime ago, not without some misgivings I must add, I moved desks at work, all part of the new re-stacking policy designed around optimising our use of space. Following the move, I went from a desk which looked on into the central corridor with my computer facing away from the door to one where my view was the bus station across the road. The view was decidedly an upgrade, what came with it though was a sense of being blinded to people milling about behind me and coming in to meet me, particularly on the occasions when I have my head phones plugged in to maximise my concentration.

Things By Other Names

Tue, 06 Sep 2016 20:14:10 +0000

Over the weekend, after one of those marathon conversations with S which grew arms and legs, segueing from work related issues into past loves and twin boy names, I caught myself wondering what all this was.

Whilst I have gone out of my way to declare my intentions, I have neither had a yay or a nay back; she and I continuing to subsist in this fluid space where we are more than friends but without any labels to attach. Whilst the feeling is one of a strong mutual connection, part of me does ponder the why’s of the lack of black and white commitment to date…

All In

Mon, 22 Aug 2016 07:26:36 +0000

Almost three months to the day since I first met S, these arrived at hers with a note that tried to up the ante. The facts are what they are: I really really like her, we get along very well and I’d like to be a lot more than just friends with her, potentially the future Mrs S.

Her call now… #Waiting

Nine Fridays of Summer: The Not-Quite-A-Milestone-Birthday Edition

Fri, 19 Aug 2016 11:27:06 +0000

Months ago - when it became apparent that my birthday this year would fall on a work day - I made a mental note to take the day off. The act of making that official - signing into the absence management software we use at work and requesting the day off - never happened, which was how I ended up stuck behind my desk at work on the day. That the only slot for a meeting I had been trying to set up for months opened up on the day, the Friday before, didn’t help either.

Nine Fridays of Summer: London, Again.

Tue, 02 Aug 2016 12:15:58 +0000

I never cease to be amazed by how flights which ostensibly last an hour end up morphing into all day affairs, which leads me to think that flying is perhaps one of the greatest swindles on earth. In my experience, by the time one arrives at the airport, goes through security and then waits to board, the better part of two hours has very easily been burned. When the inner city travel requirements are tacked on, everything very easily rolls up to between three and four hours. On this occasion, my flight due to leave at 12.05 pm ends up delayed which is how it is well past 4.00 pm by the time my train rolls into Romford where I plan on basing myself on this trip. All that leaves me is time to get myself checked into my room, find a quick bite and then start heading back to the O2 Arena for the opening night of the Hillsong Conference Europe, which is my primary reason for this trip.

Nine Fridays of Summer: Sleepers, Stratford and basking in Sunshine

Tue, 19 Jul 2016 19:39:06 +0000

She is wolfing down a doughnut, cup of coffee in hand when I appear, trying to find my assigned seat. I feel like I have startled her somewhat, given how quickly she begins to organise the stuff she has all over the place. The sense of having intruded on a private, unguarded moment is made worse by finding my assigned seat is across from her, in seats so tight our feet play that dance of hide and seek beneath the table until we find a system that works.