The most resounding lesson I learned in 2012 - on the subject of dating - was that I had had the wrong focus. In writing up lists, developing strategies and being gung-ho about the women in my life, I may have missed the point. If I must make true progress through 2013, a paradigm shift of sorts is most required.
In focusing almost exclusively on finding a wife, I may have focused far too much on the what and the potential whos and not enough on myself and the key question - am I living the sort of life the man the sort of woman I would want to marry would commit to? The great woman whose life I am meant to improve (even as she significantly improves mine) will have certain standards and values which I have to meet. If I gave myself a really good, long hard look I have to admit that although I meet most of the financial, physical and social criteria such a woman might want, my various worldview issues mean that I am not in a place to deliver the sort of spiritual leadership such a woman would crave.
I may also have - in focusing intensely on the whos - rushed things a little (case in point being my L debacle), upending the friendship > courting > marriage paradigm in favour of a more rushed ask-her-out phase.
2013 has got to be the year of unlearning, relearning and hopefully getting better at me. Al Mohler’s seminal distillation of true manhood has to become the manual for living.. So help me God.