2013

In women, or the lack thereof of… L who proved a bridge too far. In retrospect we were much too different, and there were loads of warning signs. O with whom I had the ‘you’re a great guy but convo… Si for whom I popped into town just before she conveniently picked up a stomach bug, and bailed on me F who I’d had a crush on, on and off for three years and counting, but with whom the stars never aligned… Tee who handed me my second friend zone convo of the year Somewhere in between I swore off the dream to snag the all Nigerian chic.. Or not… 2014 may yet shed more light on this. ...

The most resounding lesson I learned in 2012 - on the subject of dating - was that I had had the wrong focus. In writing up lists, developing strategies and being gung-ho about the women in my life, I may have missed the point. If I must make true progress through 2013, a paradigm shift of sorts is most required. In focusing almost exclusively on finding a wife, I may have focused far too much on the what and the potential whos and not enough on myself and the key question - am I living the sort of life the man the sort of woman I would want to marry would commit to? The great woman whose life I am meant to improve (even as she significantly improves mine) will have certain standards and values which I have to meet. If I gave myself a really good, long hard look I have to admit that although I meet most of the financial, physical and social criteria such a woman might want, my various worldview issues mean that I am not in a place to deliver the sort of spiritual leadership such a woman would crave. ...