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Apparently a Saudi Arabian woman filed for divorce after her husband stored her name as ‘Guantanamo’ on his cell phone. Wonder what she would do if her name was stored as Oloshi Oloriburuku?

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The worst time to be on Bus 38 has to be around about 3pm. I assume that it is around this time the young and the restless end their studies, hitting the roads to get back to Mum’s food and at which time they are keen to demonstrate their wanton indiscretions to all and sundry. Today, they were at their bellicose worst - loud voices, popping gum and wild uncoordinated scrambles - all over the bus like worker bees suddenly disturbed from a mid-winter slumber. ...

Today Bus 38 yielded a friendly face and that after a whole three months! I had already taken my seat, again at the rear of the not so new bus, plugged into my iPod which has being the only companion worthy of note to me, and settled in- yielding to the waves of nostalgia occasioned by the tunes belted out by the artistes on my play list. She had clambered up a few stops after I had got on - clad in knee length boots, black jeans trousers and a navy blue shirt which seemed a tad bit too large for her lithe frame – pulling in her tow a large box. It seemed obvious that she was undertaking the final leg of a journey. ...

Quite a few changes have occurred around me in the last few weeks… chief of which was moving out of my previous lodgings for a flat where a couple of blokes I have known from Nigeria are staying. All has been fine and dandy except for a few issues namely: 1. The boys can snore! Chei, sometimes it sounds like a contest. Different people all ‘hee-hawing’ simultaneously. The paper thin walls fail colossally in muffling the sounds! ...

Have a hit-and-run-less weekend!

Sounds like the only words I can use to describe myself now are all the lousy D-words: Disillusioned, distraught, disappointed, disparaged… I am just tired!

Kindly report for duty ASAP. I need my coveralls turned into an Alexander Amosu suit and my grease tainted steel-toed Redwings turned into a pair of Berluti’s. Also please place a requisition for a Bugatti Veyron. While you are at it, please stop by Santa’s and remind him I am yet to receive any responses on my requests for the 11th straight year. Please be informed, that this is your last chance to prove you exist, else I shall have to take matters into my hands and accept that gruelling 9 to 5! ...

Got forwarded a link to a video on FB (as usual) for the Diary of a Tired Blackman. A number of the themes are overstated in my opinion, but quite a number of insights on the whole. Lots of strong language, plus its quite a long one… Enjoy… 75% of Britons blog, text or surf the internet while in the loo, what do you do to pass the time in the loo? Ever misuse quotation marks? New ideas on how to misuse them from this great blog for you. Maybe this approach to managing our friendships will add a much needed dose of pragmatism to them. Trying to lose weight? Try this lip gloss! Should rules be relaxed in some instances? This bloke was initially denied a liver transplant as his condition is alcohol related. Some fat is actually great for your long term health. Bring on the cokes mehn! Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones fame actually spent a year at the London School of Economics. One football game descends into a comedy of errors. You would have thought they would respected the problems at West Ham - a player stabbed and another losing his father. Read a brilliant analysis of some of the background and potential implications of such irascible behaviour here. Wish you won a big lottery? Think again. The winner of a humongous sum in an Italian lottery seems to have vanished into thin air for fear.

Peeps thanks for your best wishes per my birthday.. Pleasantly surprised by the responses.. The information provided below is provided ‘as-is’ for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If in doubt, see your GP. You know you need help fast when: You almost sign off a cheque as your blogger ‘self’ – when money no longer forces clarity on you, wahala dey o. The last time you ‘spoke’ to your flatmate was on Facebook - especially if the bloke is just two doors away. Not good! Your supposedly ‘favorite’ cousin has to resort to using the ‘Contact Me’ form on your blog to reach you! - first it is a cardinal sin that your cousin reads your ‘anonymous’ blog, secondly its a major failure that you’re not constantly pacifying him/her. You live a walking distance from a stadium that hosts Premier League football – but all you want to do is constantly refresh the BBC football page for the latest score and read blogs - it doesn’t get much worse than this. Your 10+ year addiction, Football Manager, suddenly fails to attract your attention anymore - this seems to suggest there may be a ‘spiritual’ dimension to the whole thing. Call in the ‘Cele ’ peeps sharply mehn. When pressed for an example in the midst of a discussion, the first stories that come to mind are from Blogs you read! - this has the added effect of potentially inducing a bizarre condition informally referred to as encephalotisitic fatigitis The night before your big exam you still create time for blog rounds and you then get into a verbal war of words that extends late into the night – especially when you know the full ramifications of not getting an alpha on that exam! - this one requires serious beating - fan belt/ koboko everything… serious unseriousness. You see bloggers - who you have never met any ways - in your dreams and you ‘just know’ it is them! Another reason to get the ‘Cele’ peeps on the job ASAP. You read a post and somehow think it’s a slight on you or worse rather than engage people in the real life you vent your anger on your blog - this demonstrates bloke needs to grow up sharpish…… You start wondering which of the events in your world were blogged about by others in the past or worse you give every one around you the suspicious ’eye’ - Not everyone blogs, and if they did, it doesn’t affect you.. You wake up and the first thing on your mind is/are the post(s) you need to create. HT to SolomonSydelle for pointing out the critical omission! You find it hard to differentiate between your real and virtual friends - HT to Favoured Girl for unearthing this one. All your current romantic interests are people you have never even seen - we’ll need to add Papa Adeboye to the consortium organizing the prayers to resolve this one. HT to a certain anonymous for unearthing this one! You spend time on blogger instead of working in the midst of a recession. HT to Original Mgbeke for supplying this one - when the bill paying JOB pales in significance to another activity… Kasala dey try burst be that o….