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Fundamentally, I do like you, but there is a but. My initial elation very quickly vanished, to be replaced with a more pragmatic mix of angst, exasperation and some curiosity. LK and I had been chatting, catching up, and following up after my London trip, the main driver for which was a (second) date with her. After church at Hillsong - always a great bonus on these trips - I made my way towards the Angel Station where we’d planned to meet and then do lunch and talk. ...

Between Albert Camus’The Outsider and Ahdaf Soueif’s The Map of Love, my 2014 reading has gotten off to a solid, if unspectacular start, both these books seeming to occupy opposite extremes of the emotional engagement continuum. In The Outsider, two excellent summaries of which can be found here and here, Albert Camus’ protagonist, Meursault, is defined by his (lack of) emotional reaction to the death of his mother; My mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know - he says, and the subsequent problems that causes for him when he ends up getting sucked into a conflict that was never his to begin with, but which ends in murder. ...

It has been a weird week of sorts at mine - death and a bloke I knew fairly well, and a not quite friend zoning by LK... Thankful regardless…

Challenge #1 was to develop a regular routine of prayer and bible study in the morning before heading out to work. The idea was to leverage the Hillsong Maximised Life Devotional - the plethora of social options by which it was delivered an incentive to complete this task. Overall though, I only managed 18 completions from 30, my longest streak being 4 days - terrible. Given the above, the plan for February is to continue with this challenge as well as add the Paleo diet to the list of habits for February 2014. The key expectations are to stay off sugar, grains and cereals, legumes, dairy and wheat, drink 2 litres of water daily, and Nandos (phew). ...

Francis Chan at Passion 2013: Do you believe….That God is looking at you regardless of what you’ve done going ‘I’ll buy you back? I know you’re faithless but I never stop being Faithful, pursuing you, loving you… And as long as it is still called today, as long as you’re still breathing, right now you’ve got a chance. I’ll buy you back right now. I’ll take you back… You just lay it at the cross. ...

In her own words, she is complex in a can of cute. Slouched in my favourite chair by my window, with the sound of passing cars, their occasional horn toots and the odd police siren as the soundtrack to my evening, up until then I had been having a chilled, if lethargic evening natter. I had one eye on the evolving tactical battle on my FM2013 Liverpool save and the other on my phone whilst we talked, before we segued into the subject of personality types and tests. Thanks to books like Quiet and Networking for Those Who Hate Networking, I am increasingly secure in owning up to being introverted - which was probably why without too much thinking I owned up to being INTJ. Her initial response was to ask me to translate that into real English; I promptly emailed her a link to the sixteen personalities INTJ page. That set off a bout of good natured teasing and banter at my expense - not that I minded. LK is delightfully great to talk to; her brand of acerbic, intelligent, thoughtful conversation delivered in a voice so soft one would assume she couldn’t hurt a fly is one that I have taken a great liking to over the past three months. Teasing over, I pressed her to take the test herself, knowing just how much insight into her personality it would provide and looking for canon fodder to retaliate. That was the setting for her declaration, in the aftermath of which I found myself soberly considering just what the potential ramifications of the revelation might be. ...

Because this fits in right with my mood just now… And got an airing at Hillsong London too :)

I want to cover you With words. Ink dots Jumbled together Until they blur Into a scrawl, confused Like the light From a thousand scattered beads I want to hide myself Within the haze Of my re-memory - To somehow, between life And the afterglow From my tired brain, Re-create the time and space That reality stole. But your blank, pure Whiteness mocks me, I find the things I want to say don’t come ...

Aperitivo, on Bon-Accord Street, is where this year’s Christmas silly season kicks off for me, and coming so soon after my return from Nigeria - with all the food I was force fed - part of me cringes at the thought of yet more food. In the end my desire to avoid giving yet more ammunition to the AJ-is-a-snob brigade makes me decide to attend. I just about make it to the party, keeping G waiting on the corner of Union and Bon-Accord for almost fifteen minutes. It is a terrible time to be out and about; it is piddling, there is a strong wind and Union Street is chock full of the rush hour traffic at just before six pm. In going home first, rather than directly from work, my gamble has failed spectacularly; missing the bus from across the road at home meaning I have to walk briskly to cover the twenty minute walk in fifteen. G - never the type to let an opportunity to lay in to someone - does give me a right going as we walk the short distance from the junction towards our final destination for the night after I arrive. It matters little that we are the first ones in by ten minutes past six, or that the table has been booked for a seven pm start. ...

The prospect of poor health, a milestone birthday of sorts and all round malaise kicked off what was a great plan (in my opinion at least) to deliver change over the course of a year, which as I am wont to do, I tagged with the lofty title ‘ The Year of Living Dangerously’. It started off well – at least with regards to chasing up 52 small changes but the initial enthusiasm seeped out, prompting an attempt to gee myself up for a restart. ...