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Uplifting and depressing in equal measure..

London calls… Having manfully beaten its lure over the holidays to enable a much needed season of introspection, I had to cave in to summons over the phone from my Uncle C, especially because he and el madre seemed to be in cahoots on this one. Ostensibly, the reason for the summons are my lack of endeavour in the girl stakes. My strategy has been to keep them in the dark on the details of my love life/ non-love life. Somehow Uncle C convinced Mum that our corner of the world up in Scotland is a hell hole of sorts with next to zero prospects of meeting eligible women, hence the need to get me out there in London. ...

Pity it’s their last song.. Lyrics here.

And so I survived my first Aberdeen Christmas in a long while. It was with more than a little trepidation that I faced the end of the year; the niggling thought at the back of my mind initiated by the sudden realisation that my policy of disengaging from the myriad friendzoneships I was mired in had left me with no real excuse to make what had become fairly regular trips across the pond. Newcastle and London, as always, were temptingly good options - Newcastle because of the old school mates still down there, and London for the promise of piping hot moi-moi and the chance of a first face to face in near on two years with my super wing-woman K. Given my memories of my one and only Aberdeen Christmas to date - bucket loads of snow, lugging suitcases on to and off trains as I made the move up North, and missing a rendezvous with the only guy I knew in town at the time - I suppose my fears were justified if not entirely expected. ...

The most resounding lesson I learned in 2012 - on the subject of dating - was that I had had the wrong focus. In writing up lists, developing strategies and being gung-ho about the women in my life, I may have missed the point. If I must make true progress through 2013, a paradigm shift of sorts is most required. In focusing almost exclusively on finding a wife, I may have focused far too much on the what and the potential whos and not enough on myself and the key question - am I living the sort of life the man the sort of woman I would want to marry would commit to? The great woman whose life I am meant to improve (even as she significantly improves mine) will have certain standards and values which I have to meet. If I gave myself a really good, long hard look I have to admit that although I meet most of the financial, physical and social criteria such a woman might want, my various worldview issues mean that I am not in a place to deliver the sort of spiritual leadership such a woman would crave. ...

My favourite part: And I will run to You And find refuge in Your arms And I will sing to You Cause of everything You are Lyrics Here.

Definitely blown, and I think at its core the failed dalliance was of my own making in being too keen. Given the year I’d had - with close on 18 months without any interest in females as I sought to deal with the lingering wounds and the fall out from the last serious relationship - I suppose I could be forgiven for letting go too quickly when a smart, attractive young woman who ticked all the critical boxes suddenly came into the picture. I’d sworn I was over E a year ago, but not until the fates conspired to bring L my way did the realisation that I had grossly understated the extent of the pain I still was in sink in. ...

Develop a daily practice of meditation, prayer and journaling Complete 40 consecutive days of prayer Make morning prayer meetings @ FOL three times a week (M, W, F) Weigh 80kg Gym thrice a week (M,W, S) Improve eating habits - cut down on eba, soup and rice Use myfitnesspal.com as food journal Save 30% of Net earnings Min of £1k per month Target 12k extra saved this year Improve Professionally, get Chartered engineer status Receive feedback on IMarEST CEng application ASME Level 2 Plant Inspector/ NACE Snr Corrosion Technologist certification Register for a PhD in corrosion, materials and or welding (Newcastle/ Manchester/Cranfield) Get a driver’s license: Pass theory test, Get a driving teacher on retainer Get 20 hours practice in Get full driver’s license Resolve long term settlement options Base plan - Remain in Aberdeen + progress professional development opportunities(see #4 above) Only seek to leave Aberdeen if US/ Canada/Australia opportunities open up Resolve my dating conundrums; target being in a stable committed relationship by YE 2013: Clear all people I’m currently stuck in the friend zone with, gain clarity (Mo, Fola, Ese etc Gain knowledge about Dating and Relationships the Godly way; Prayerfully pursue the woman God has prepared. Find a spiritual mentor Take 2 main trips Nigeria US (Depending on where I am with Project M by Q3 2013) Oklahoma ? Houston Spain or Portugal Complete a writing project - the3six5N Buy a house (2 bed) Requirements: 2 bed room flat, city centre apartment, parking space, etc tba

It will have been five years this year since I made the decision to up sticks, pack in the life I had lived up till that time and head out in the great unknown that was grad school, and what it would ultimately lead to a hiatus from Nigeria. On paper I had a good life. A job that left me squarely ensconced in the safe, settledness of middle class Nigerian life, the prospect of a final salary pension with the option of cashing out at age 45 if I so wished, and the almost cast iron guarantee of an average 20% pay rise every two years thanks to an aggressive union. ...

Dickens most eloquently captured the paradox that was the year I had in that most evocative of openings to A Tale of Two Cities: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. We had everything before us, we had nothing before us, ...