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For Mag 246: Highway A sense that Time has Stood dead still, yet hurtled by; This us, déjà vu

Baselines Weight - 87kg, 26.1% body fat (Tanita Body Composition Monitor) Waist - 88cm, Hips - 108cm, The Plan Exercise every day - Run (Gym or outdoors) on alternate days, body strength straining at home on other days; utilise the fitnut plan from work. Eat well - Resetting the diet to same time last year - no grains, rice or gluten containing food; meat, nuts and vegetables primarily

A large pizza, roast chicken topped off with a Ben & Jerry’s. Proof - if ever any was needed - that I need a step change ASAP…

Only a few days ago, the sun was out - weakly warm but out regardless, even though the first day of autumn was officially past. As I made my daily lunch time walk from the office to the Boots Store at the back end of Union Square, the sense was one of making hay whilst the sun still shone, enjoying the final blast of warmth, before Autumn took hold. An old lady, bless her heart, bumped into me as we waited for the little green man before crossing the road into the parking lot adjacent to work. In fairness to her I had my nose in my phone - make of that what you will - but that little bump did create the context for a short quick chat whilst we waited. Not so long ago, the arrival of spring, and the warmth it portended was the focus. ...

Rude awakening from my GP visit a few days ago with my weight in the region of 90kg from the 82 I weighed at the start of the year - this represents a very comprehensive regression. The target is to return to 80kg by YE. The Plan? Whole30, starting on 2nd September. Drink 2 litres of water daily; start the day off with a litre of ice cold water and drink green tea exclusively during the day. Exercise thrice a week - 30 mins each time In tandem with the above, the plan is to wake up my various attempts at self tracking -very much against the Whole30 ethos I might add. ...

Popped into the GP’s for my six monthly blood pressure review. Mixed results - good on the blood pressure count (124/82), bad on the weight (up to 88.5kg from a low of 82kg at the turn of the year). Way too much pizza messing with my metabolism I guess. Roll on the Whole30 then - 2 days in!

Turning thirty-five could not have come at a less opportune moment - given the summer of loss that we have had. The silver lining though is that it offers an opportunity to pause, take stock and ask oneself what the focus for the next few years should be. My life plan has come together in bits and bobs over the last few years - three life goals, seven priorities and five core values, a tad incoherent if the truth must be told. ...

It is sometime after 5pm – between chomping down on a very meaty beef burger and swigging from a can of apple juice - that the call comes in. Up until then, I have been having the exact weekend I had in mind when I dragged myself away from work to catch the 727 to Aberdeen Dyce airport a few days earlier: go-karting and then a BBQ, with the prospect of Lakeside shopping with B. to come. The scene is one of self-indulgent relaxation; two grills fully stocked with burgers, chicken drumsticks and barbecue meat on the go, little children running about, wives and girlfriends munching on burgers and sharing intimate gossip moments, and men standing around the grill sipping from cans and surveying the scene - wife, 2.5 kids, picket fence and a few hundred quid to burn on a splurge in tow. It takes a while – probably the better part of ten minutes - before the gravity of the news begins to sink in. When I return to the three-way conversation I was having before the call, B senses there is something wrong. In response to her quizzical look, I motion for her to break out of the conversation and explain what has happened. All told, twenty minutes after hearing the news – give or take – my mood has morphed from indulged, self-congratulation to inner turmoil as I attempt to digest the news in the relative quiet of B’s. ...

I spoke on behalf of the family at H’s funeral. The plan was to go over the points raised here in sequence, mid way through it, I broke down and cried uncontrollably. Here is the original text, for the record… My earliest, lucid memories of growing up are inextricably linked to green bowls of soup and stew, and Sunday afternoon cooking marathons. Back in those days, in the early eighties, extenuating circumstances required that the family lived in two homes in two different cities. One of the enduring images from that time is the meticulous attention to detail and the foresight to plan long term with which both homes were run with incredible efficiency. ...