Personal

Sometime between sending an SMS that went unanswered for very nearly a day and me slipping into one of my more pensive moments, something clicked in my head - TheB is not for me. My trip westward at the back end of last year had come at some personal cost. I had been invited for an interview at one of the Nigerian multi-nationals, and given the job description, it seemed a fairly reasonable job that fit in with my longer term life direction. I chose instead to head out to Chicago, prioritising clarity around my situation with TheB higher than snagging a dream Nigerian job. Unfortunately my nervousness and her busy-ness ended up putting paid to any serious conversations. ...

If I had the power to invent a perfect 2012 it would have: A new £60k+ job in the subsea and pipelines corrosion and materials engineering sector (I think I am finally reaching saturation point with the whole topsides asset integrity engineering thing in the UK, I could use a subsea materials and welding role somewhere sunnier, like Houston or Perth :) ) Me as a Chartered Engineer Meeting TheOne (if indeed she still exists) Resolving my long term settlement options Sealed with a 100 pound seed offering at church too… Fingers crossed….

I may have met a woman who checks a lot of the boxes on my (pared down) list: aged between 27 and 29, Nigerian, a clear sense of direction and self worth, a largely Christian world-view, great at conversation, and a deep appreciation and interest in the arts and travel. The only snag is she’s half way around the world, and the last time I let myself go very quickly, I ended up burnt (with TheB). Given my history with LDRs, I would be loath to knowingly get into one. The truth though is that I may just be getting ahead of myself here…. Sigh… ...

There is treading water. And then there is lostness and the bland, depressing sameness, of everything. There are bad night’s dreams. And then there are visions of the night - in which one writhes and like a knotted string snarled back upon itself one- finds himself at the self same starting point. In the beat of the drums of the delirious priest and the frenzied dance that is our Faustian pact, Hope like a stubborn root - peeks out from between a rock and a hard place. And the unwilling lethargy of a quiescent dawn is forgotten, as it fades like the memory of a quick frolic in the shade of water side palms dies in the heat of a baking desert sun. ...

I caught my first whiff of light headedness half way through my second pint of Guinness Extra Cold – in all its frothy, 3.5 degree chilled gloriousness. The group from work – ever happy for an excuse to hit the town and splurge on the brew – had decided they were up for a second night out, a mere two months after our February jaunt, and that on a Wednesday evening no less. ...

This year I decided I would only have seven focus areas - from which twelve things for 2012 were derived. Interestingly, whilst there has been progress in some areas, quite a few other areas have been the equivalent of a Lagos traffic jam for progress. 114 days in, here’s my review. Develop a daily practice of prayer and meditation: This has come along in fits and starts. there definitely has been some progress, but nothing sustained so far. I’d rate myself as ‘poor’ here. Lose 20 kg: An epic fail here. I suspect I may have actually gained half a kilogram! Read and review 25 books: Currently on book number four. No real reviews have been completed so far. I’ll need to decide a format and start progressing these ASAP. Call Parents and siblings at least once a week: I’ve made some progress on here with phone calls, but again not on the level of consistency that I’d be hoping for. Save £1,000 each month: One of the areas where I’d say I have performed very well. Get Chartered Engineer Status: In progress, I hope to send in my initial applications this May and kick start the process of getting C.Eng registration through the IMarEST. Get a Driver’s Licence: A couple of false starts here. The intent is to get the CEng application done and dusted and then focus on studying for the theory test and passing it in May 2012. Resolve long term settlement options: Canada featured heavily in the plan for a while, but at the moment it’s looking like the UK is the base plan. The intent is to sort out the CEng status and then take it from there. Resolve my dating issues: Not quite progress here. Met Q who ticks a lot of the boxes (geek, recovering bookworm, under 31 yrs of age, Nigerian with the added benefit of real life mutual friends/ connections). The one quirk is she’s very into the Grail Message thing which ended up scuttling my dalliance with EJ from back in the day. I’m not quite sure I can risk lettnig my heart go when there are these issues. FAN integration/FOL Service: One word, abysmal. Find a mentor: Some progress, O’s essentially become my non work mentor what with his interest in getting me married and his listening ears, and the three gorgeous kids he’s got. :) On the work front, I’m getting along quite nicely with the QNX* team now - RG seems like a good candidate for a work mentor. Getting him to sponsor my CEng application cxould be the key. Finding a hobby: New item on the lsit, thanks to pressure from CS & NP at QNX and my buddy Chizz. I’ve signed up for the company touch rugby team - hopefully that pans out nicely. All in all, there’s been areas of progress and some of none. The top targets for Q2 through end of June are getting the CEng application through, passing the theory test and heading off to Nigeria.

To God be the Glory.. :)

My lazy Saturday - the slightly chillier air put paid to any pretensions of activity I had planned for the day - ended being defined by three conversations. In all honesty, two were conversations I could have done without, but I ended up caught up in them anyways. I wake up to see an offline message from my Q, my friend of just under a week. She’s a Geek’s Geek complete with geeky glasses and loads of tech speech. We end up talking about everything and nothing for the better part of three hours. In a sense it feels like de ja vu all over again - the easy conversation, shared interests and comfort even in silence were hallmarks of the early days of my bonding with EJ. Probably still early days, but there does seem to be a real opportunity for something to develop here. ...

My little experiment in online dating comes to an end over the next few weeks, thanks to expiring subscriptions. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that online dating may not be for me. If my experience is typical, it would appear the Nigerian man trying online dating has three strikes against him. First is the perception in the wider world of Nigerians as being inherently scam artists. A bevy of websites has sprung up whose MO appears solely to be defining tactics and strategies for identifying Nigerian scam artists and outing them. The three or so women on eHarmony who I made it past guided communication into emailing with suddenly became reticent when I declared I was Nigerian. From a couple of emails a day, things segued into an email a couple of days and then them leaving my emails un-replied. ...

Amidst the bedlam that was a return to work after almost three weeks away, I completely forgot the small matter of having passed the second-year anniversary of my starting at my current job. The lads at HR though were not exactly keen to let me forget ; and I was suitably reminded via a letter in my home post box advising me of my eligibility to enrol on the company enhanced pension plan. Bar a few moments of drudgery, it has never really felt like I have been stuck out here for the past two years, even though I’ve twice come close to leaving; once to Nigeria, and the other time to our biggest competitor across town. ...