Tee and I had the talk, from which it transpired she wants/ can only be just friends with me. The bulk of that conversation was her version of the well-worn, if clichéd it’s not you, it’s me spiel.. One can only handle being told about being a great guy with a great heart so many times before it begins to ring hollow, like the copout I have always felt it is… ...
Against my better judgement – and that not for the first time – I call S on Sunday evening. Predictably she doesn’t answer her phone. The first and only acknowledgement of the missed call comes on Tuesday night, a full fifty-two hours later, when she texts to apologise for missing my call, citing being tied up with chores and ironing. Given she is someone I have been trying to get a face to face with since early July; and who pulled out of yet another agreement in principle to meet up the Thursday before the Sunday on which I call her citing busyness again; it does begin to strain the limits of credulity to imagine these are just random, real limitations on time as opposed to a fully intentional strategy to avoid meeting up. ...
Tee and I have somehow segued into friend zone territory - catching up once a day on average to share the minutiae of life, moan about our respective bosses and all the other things working adults who live alone find the time to complain about. She has had a lot on her plate lately between work, illness and family visits, as I have been with work and my urgent trip down south to Sheffield to sort out the small matter of a visa. ...
From my current read, Ben Young and Dr Sam Adams’ book - The One: A Realistic Guide to Choosing Your Soul Mate. Is there chemistry? Are you sexually/ physically attracted to your partner? Is your relationship natural? Do things flow naturally or are you spending a lot more time resolving issues than demonstrating a natural fit? Would this be a good friend? If the chemistry was removed, is it someone you’d want to be with, whose company you enjoy? Can you accept his or her personality as is? Could you spend the rest of your life with the person as they are? Would you want your kids to be like him or her? Could you envision a future in which your children turn out like him or her? Oh and to pass the test, it must be ‘Yes’, 100%…
In differential calculus: the point on a curve where the curvature changes sign from +ve to -ve or vice versa; analogous to a point on a bend where the steering is momentarily straight whilst turning from left to right or vice versa In real life: the precise moment it finally sinks into a bloke’s thick skull that the girl he’s had a crush on for the past month is about to ease him into the friendzone ...
The cliff notes version Finally rid myself of L; new mobile number, deleted contacts and minimal face to face time appear to be working here Met S at N’s party - great conversation, opera lover and left handed woman…. :) Was beginning to think the Lord didn’t make geek chics anymore.. My one slip up was failing to ask for her number or BBM *silly me*
To all accounts, she could have been the right woman, at the right time, in the right place on the relationship continuum, but for the small matter of 3,000 miles making navigating the treacherous waters of getting to know her essentially from scratch that bit more difficult. We did have great conversations (maybe not great, but better than I have with most) with a range of shared interests that we explored. ...
If I dialed down my definition of success to its most basic, it would have three (or four) components: Excel in (Corrosion & Materials) Engineering; Be the best husband, father, son, brother and friend I can be; Live in, and contribute to life in, a great city and a great church. Simple enough, I guess. Unless you’re me with a well documented attention to detail – often bordering on over-thinking – with which every little, simple decision segues into a long, drawn out exercise in Planning, Reviewing and Risk v. Reward Assessment. ...
The woman clutched my arm. The first wave of feeling that hit me - when my mind frozen for an instant by the brazen grab - was fear, and then confusion, as she peered intently into my face with not even the faintest hint of recollection bouncing about in my head. She wasn’t wearing the flowing robes of an aladura prophetess, thus ruling out a smash-and-grab prophesy as the reason for her intrusion. Something about the deeply lined face, the light grey hair peeking out from underneath her tight head wrap and her uber thick lenses left me positively unsettled. ...
Met FF for a coffee whilst in Lagos. Prior to that I’d felt like she’d checked all my boxes bar the genotype one. Meeting up for a coffee was the physical chemistry ’test’ for me and I felt we passed it in glowing colours. She looked smashing in a pink, floral dress and red shoes and we did have great conversation. Fortuitously, my married friends I&A dropped me off and picked me up and did pick up on her great personality. Problem is I do not know if she likes me like that. I suppose I could ask, but given the small matter of a few miles, and my history of crucially misjudging interest in the past, there’s a cross roads of sorts. Rotating out of Lagos for a few months on the potential new job will help in this regard, I think.